Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I am in no way associated with Stephenie Meyer, any creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
Some descriptions of characters that previously existed have been altered to fit the vision of this story. If you are interested in viewing the character reference photos, please view my Pinterest Board (/clairebear_04/like-breathing-but-harder/).
Author's Note: This chapter gets dark, please be aware of your triggers, and consider skipping parts that make you feel uncomfortable. My goal as a writer is to entertain, not to disturb my readers. Enjoy!
Chapter 16: Claire
For being a small, last-minute, pregnant-friendly 'bachelorette party,' it was actually remarkably fun. Ness arranged for us to go into town on the island and eat dinner at the local dockside grill, encouraging me to order as many drinks as I wanted.
"Are you sure?" I whispered.
She held up a card and winked at me.
We were seated at a table close to the bar. The evening sun dipped low on the horizon as the neon lights began to flick on around us inside. A variety of people filled the restaurant, some locals, others escaping the bustle of Seattle. Something about it reminded me of my favorite late-nights on campus with Harley and Austin.
"What's Quil doing tonight?" Harley asked, tasting her strawberry lemonade.
My tongue froze in my mouth, mid-sip of my mojito.
"Jake is taking Quil and the boys cliff diving," Ness interjected.
"Cliff diving?" Harley repeated, looking at us in disbelief. "Wait, for real?"
Ness and I chuckled as I took another gulp. "Yeah, all the guys on the res do it," I explained.
"Maybe I need to make Andrew hang out with them," she muttered as she sipped her drink.
"How is he holding up?" I prodded.
She rolled her eyes, running her fingers through her hair. "Don't get me wrong, he's super excited about the baby and everything, but..." she trailed off.
"But?" I leaned in from across the table.
She shrugged a shoulder. "I feel like I'm already taking care of a child," she chuckled.
"For real though, he's been amazing, it's just that I feel like I'm always three steps behind cleaning up after him, making sure he doesn't forget anything, getting all the chores done," she rambled on, holding her head in her hand. "It's exhausting."
"God, I'm exhausted for you," I shook my head. Andrew always treated Harley like a princess, but I knew he was the college boy that she fell in love with. Lucky for him, Harley had the patience of a saint.
"I don't know what to do, throwing a baby in the mix," she swirled her drink with the straw. "I'm going to lose my mind."
"He'll get it together," Ness reassured her. "It takes them a while but I bet with the baby he'll understand he needs to pitch in."
A pack of college-aged guys made their way to the bar, occupying the half closest to us. Harley's back was to them while Ness and I were met with multiple glances from some of them.
I finished my glass— was that my second or third?— and set it aside. "How's Austin? Did he get a job yet?"
Harley sighed heavily, biting her straw.
"Harley," I scolded her.
"That's the guy with the blonde hair, right?" Ness clarified.
We nodded.
"Trust me, I messaged him," Harley explained. "Not that it was worth anything, he was like talking to a rock."
The waitress swooped by our table, gracefully taking my empty glass away while she squeezed between people waiting for the bar. "What do you mean?"
"I dunno, I think he's really bummed out that he hasn't gotten a job yet," she crinkled her face a bit. "He only responded with like, one-word answers."
"Did you tell him about...?" I eyed her.
"No, I really didn't get the sense that he was ready for something that heavy," I could tell she felt bad about it. She and Austin were definitely the closer pair out of the three of us. He was practically a little brother to her. "I'm worried about him, but I don't want to nag him too," she shrugged.
I twisted my lips to one side. I was already guilty about not doing a better job at keeping up with Austin, but with everything going on lately, it just slipped to the backside of my mind.
Ness raised her hand like she was trying to wave at someone across the room.
"Well, you don't need to be stressing out about him, you have enough on your plate. Let me take a crack at it," I suggested.
"I would really appreciate that," Harley smiled lightly, clearly exasperated. "I just want to know that he's doing ok."
As if by magic another glass was set down at our table, Ness placing it in front of me with a smirk. I couldn't tell if she was feeding me as a way to apologize or if she was allowing me to have fun, but either way, I didn't mind.
The evening turned into night as the sun set below the horizon, the neon lights reflecting off the picture frames hung around the walls. As the bar got busier our stack of empty glasses grew taller at the back of our table. Harley bounced around from lemonade to tea to virgin Shirley Temples while I slurped down every cocktail set in front of me.
Ness committed to being our DD for the night, insisting that she was having just as much fun as I was, the alcohol seeping deep into my brain. Even without the booze, Harley seemed to be enjoying herself as well, laughing and telling our worst stories from college as I started to look more and more like the Claire from her tales.
"Oh, god, I have to pee," I groaned, pulling my hair out of my face.
Harley laughed at this. "You sound like me!"
"You ok?" Ness stood up out of the booth to let me scoot by her. She eyed me carefully, noticing my balance wobble back and forth.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good," I felt like my legs were jello, my knees forgetting how to properly function as I stood up from the table.
"Be careful," Ness chuckled as Harley chewed on her cheese fries.
The tables and chairs acted as maze walls as I wove around them, my eyes glued to the neon restroom sign. I passed the bar, grazing the perimeter of the people hovering around the counter when I noticed the group of men that had come in shortly after us were still perched at the far end of the bar. One, in particular, was watching me as I wavered past them, his green eyes following me before he pulled his beer to his lips.
Sitting down when intoxicated was a way for me to gauge how drunk I was. I was infamous for falling asleep in bathrooms during college parties because my mind told me to feel how soft the bath mat was. Tonight was one of those nights where as soon as I sat down the world spun around me. It was like gravity was moving and I was frozen, unable to reach equilibrium.
I leaned my weight against the stall wall and heaved out an exhale, brushing my face out of my hair. My phone hadn't buzzed at all since I turned it back on. Maybe he gave up on trying to reach me, or perhaps he was mad at me for leaving so abruptly. My tipsy brain couldn't rationally think straight as tears welled up in my eyes from thinking about him.
After a few minutes, I coached myself to stand again, pulling up my pants and stumbling out of the stall door. The bathroom had wood panel walls all around it, smelling of musty concrete and wet metal. I grabbed onto the sink counter for support as my reflection peered back at me through my hair.
I just wanted Quil back. I wanted my normal life back. I wanted to not hate Sam or Quil for what they did.
Ness would notice I was gone a while by now. Tossing the paper towel in the direction of the trash can I blindly pulled open the heavy wood door, and threw myself out of it, slamming into a body as I fumbled forward.
"Woah!" he blurted as he grasped my shoulders to steady me. "Easy there," he snickered.
"Oh, shit," I groaned and forced myself upright. "I'm so sorry," he didn't smell familiar. He was taller than me, but most people were. His green eyes were locked on me as I pulled my hair behind my shoulders.
"Nah, you're fine, you look like you're having fun," he smirked, keeping his hands on my shoulders.
"Yeah, I am," I responded, my body swaying slightly. Where are Ness and Harley? I thought as my eyes grazed the bodies surrounding the bar.
"Do you need any help?" he asked, looking me up and down.
"I can do it," I felt my momentum driving me forward again as my legs attempted to move.
"Oh, I bet you can," he chuckled.
I felt my legs keep walking me forward, trusting my feet to guide me back to my table. My hair fell around my face again as I moved, each step feeling as if I was walking on an inflatable jump house.
I suddenly felt the cool air on my face and noticed that the commotion from people and music had faded. I was still moving. Where was I going?
"Hm?" I looked around me, now standing in the parking lot.
"Let me help you," his hand was around my waist, guiding me alongside the building until we came around the back.
"Mm, no," I grumbled, my brain frantically trying to put itself back together. "Please," my feet kept walking as he pulled me alongside him.
"You're ok," he ignored me, leading me to the backside of the building where the light from the parking lot couldn't reach. The white light from the moon peeking through the trees lit a small area that was lined with wooden picnic tables and benches.
"C'mere, sweetheart," he murmured against my hair and stopped me. He turned to me and wrapped his arms around me, his hands grasping my ass tightly.
"No—" I grumbled at this, my body tensing as he hoisted me up and set me down on a picnic table. My limbs were numb, unable to react to what was happening. My body slumped forward as my breathing quickened.
No! Stop this! Yell for Ness! My inner voice screamed at me but was unable to rally my body to respond.
"Look at you," he flashed me a grin as he took my face in his hands so that I would look at him.
"Don't..." I breathed. "Don't...touch me," I rolled my head away from him with what felt like every ounce of strength in my body.
Where is Ness!? C'mon, you can make it back to the—
I felt his hands grab my breasts as he pressed himself between my legs, hugging me close. My body was frozen in confusion and rage as my insides curled in disgust.
Using as much force as I could I pulled my hands up to push him away, thinking I could send him backward enough for me to roll off the table. In reality, I was only able to push his hands away as my intoxicated muscles weakly shoved his chest.
At this, he laughed, cupping the side of my face with his hand. "Shh, you're ok, sweetheart," he murmured as he laid me down on the tabletop, my body falling back with ease. The world spun around me again as I looked up at the dark swirl of trees mixed with the sky.
"No," I repeated, trance-like. "No."
Goddammit, COME ON! I screamed at myself. I tried to curl my legs to my chest but he was easily able to position himself between them again, his hand resting under my knee as he pulled me down to him.
Mommy, I want Quil, My young voice echoed in my mind as my eyes glazed over. I want Quil!
"Hey!"
Another man's voice barked from above me. Or was it behind me? I couldn't move my head on the table in a direction to see, the gravity teasing me as it spun me around again.
"She said no," the new man growled.
"Fuck off," I felt his presence between my legs disappear as he stepped to his challenger.
Ness? I wanted to see what was happening. I rolled onto my side on the tabletop, feeling the damp wood press into my cheek.
I heard grunting and scuffling on the ground as punches were thrown. I heard a loud bang against the side of the building as someone was forced into it. It couldn't be Quil...
"Claire!"
I was able to lift my head as Ness and Harley rushed to me.
"Get the fuck out of here," the voice said before there was another grunt.
"Ness?" I muttered weakly. I felt her eyes wandering me, inspecting me for any damages. "I'm fine," I tried to reassure her.
"You're sure as hell not," Harley stopped me.
"Is she ok?"
Ness guided me to a sitting position on the table, resting my feet on the bench. "She's going to have a hell of a hangover, but I think she's alright."
My mouth watered as the spins returned to my brain.
"Austin?" I gazed up at him as he, too, looked me over. He had a busted lip that was seeping blood.
"There you are," he smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
My stomach lurched as I emptied its contents onto the ground in front of me, heaving as my head came crashing down.