A/N: As many of you many already know, there were no chapters for any of my fics in November as I always participate every year to work on my own novels.

As it is, here's this month's chapter!

The tour of Sesshomaru's home proved to take far longer than she'd expected, partially because she hadn't anticipated Sesshomaru's quiet explanations whenever he seemed to think them necessary.

She'd expected him to be brusk, quickly showing her through the house before ending the tour, but instead, it seemed almost as if Sesshomaru had wished to show off his home to her.

She wasn't entirely surprised by that—Sesshomaru was, after all, prone to showing off, especially when he believed he was superior in something—but she hadn't expected him to care that much about her opinion. He kept his eye on her as he explained the history of each room, though Kagome herself found her thoughts wandering on more than one occasion and she hoped that he didn't expect her to remember much of what he'd told her.

Each room was as grand as to be expected with someone of Sesshomaru's caliber and ego, though Kagome paid little enough attention to the details. She wasn't expecting to stay long and so didn't see a point beyond humoring him. In fact, she had every intention of leaving the shiro as soon as she thought she could get away from Sesshomaru and whatever sense of duty he'd seemed to arrive at with her.

Well, and as soon as she figured out what he'd done with her reiki. If it truly wasn't lost to her, she'd need it at full strength to travel on her own.

There was no escaping the truth, however, no matter how gentle Sesshomaru might be with her now.

This wasn't her home and it would never be. She didn't belong here, but even though she felt uncomfortable, as though she was intruding, she also admitted to herself that even if she left, she wasn't sure where she would go. If she went home, she would have to deal with her friends fussing over her, but if she didn't, they would only come looking for her.

Perhaps, she reflected in resignation, this is the only place I'd be able to find any peace at all.

If she could at least convince Sesshomaru that she didn't require his help.

She followed him around, trying to figure out how best to go about communicating that message, but if Sesshomaru sensed her distraction, he said little of it. He simply continued his tour as though she were attentively listening.

Still, it was a little odd to think Sesshomaru lived in a home that wasn't fully finished, but if he'd explained why that was, she hadn't been fully paying attention. One part of the shiro was still under construction and so Sesshomaru had bypassed that part of the tour entirely.

Yet it seemed it was his gardens that he was most proud of, which perhaps explained why he had left that area for last on his tour.

"The servants dwell beyond the gardens," Sesshomaru had explained as soon as they'd walked out of his shiro and into the gardens themselves. He had just finished showing off the common bathing areas, though he'd been sure to note that Kagome had access to her own private area to bathe.

It seemed there wasn't a path that didn't lead through the gardens, as if Sesshomaru wished to show off the vegetation to anyone who came to his home. And yet, though the garden was truly more elaborate than she had words for, she didn't see an abundance of the lotus growing within it. The pond, though surrounded by flowers, had few of the flowers themselves, and nothing that seemed worth mentioning.

Kagome, though she didn't wish to speak aloud more than she needed to, was curious. Was there another part of the gardens? Perhaps hidden away for his own use?

As if to answer her unspoken thoughts, Sesshomaru continued, "However, these are the gardens for common use and any who stay at the shiro may visit here and relax within the gardens." He paused for a moment to look down at her. "There is a separate garden for private use that can be accessed from your room, Kagome."

There was an odd look in his eyes that she couldn't entirely read, though she didn't have much of a chance to before Rin blurted out, "Aren't the flowers lovely, Kagome-sama?" Rin clapped her hands together in delight. "The lotus isn't in bloom yet, though."

Kagome would have been more surprised if it was, seeing that it was only the beginning of spring and very few flowers had begun to germinate just yet. It would be at least several more weeks, she thought, before any flower buds would be seen amongst the lotus. She had initially been looking forward to the formal end of winter just days before, but that seemed like a lifetime ago now.

Suddenly all she could smell was crushed grass and dirt and without realizing it, Kagome's thoughts circled back to the attack. She barely heard anything else Rin said as the girl chattered away around her because all Kagome could think about then was that she could barely breathe and her heart was racing too fast.

She was suddenly too cold and she struggled to think as her teeth began chattering in spite of the warm air around them.

"Rin." Sesshomaru's quiet voice interrupted her thoughts, but not enough to help ground herself. "Go check on Ah-Un."

If the girl protested, Kagome couldn't hear it. She didn't see Rin leave at all.

What Kagome did see was hands reaching for her and she screamed in alarm, pulling back, only to find that there weren't any hands reaching for her at all.

She was alone.

And then...she wasn't.

Sesshomaru stood to her side, not reaching for her as though he knew it would only add to the terror racing through her. "I am here, Kagome," was all he said. He didn't rebuke her for her terror nor her extreme response, but stood there patiently, as though sensing she needed someone.

In that moment, as she had the night before, she didn't care that he wasn't someone who loved her. He was there and he was willing to offer her comfort and for now, that was enough.

She fell into his chest and only then did his arms slowly move to wrap around her, giving her plenty of time to move back if she needed it. Even then, he did not cage her with his embrace but was careful to hold her so that she could easily step back if she needed it.

Nor did he protest when her fingers dug into his clothing and his skin with more force than she'd intended, but then again, he was yokai. Perhaps he hardly even noticed the strength of her force.

"You are not alone, Kagome," he said quietly, soothing her with his touch as she began to sob. He rubbed her back with his hands, careful to keep his claws from entangling with or shredding her clothing. "There is nothing to fear here. It is only you and I and the flowers."

She struggled to take in deeper breaths, heard her lungs wheeze as she tried. She knew, intellectually, that she was safe enough, but she still couldn't calm her body's reactions, either, to the stimulus around her.

"It's hard," she managed out shakily, resenting how panicked and emotional she was and, in an odd way, both resentful and grateful that it was Sesshomaru who was here now.

"There is no need to rush or force yourself. If you are not comfortable being here, you do not need to be." Sesshomaru deliberately kept his voice at a soothing cadence as though he was fully aware of the turmoil within, and he even turned, gently turning her with him, to escort her away.

"No." The word rushed out of her, but she didn't want to back down and leave. She'd stand here until she felt better because she wasn't going to be afraid of the smell of dirt.

And yet she was also relieved that he was willing to leave rather than forcing her to face her fears as InuYasha might have done. She both wanted to leave and wanted to stay in equal measure. The longer she stood there, the more the feelings warred within her, and it was only Sesshomaru's physical presence that kept her grounded. She instinctively dug in her fingers even more so so that he couldn't pull away from her.

She shifted just enough to see Sesshomaru looking at her in surprise at the vehemence of her tone.

And before he could attempt to change her mind, she gritted her teeth and took a deep breath before blurting out the first thought that came to mind. "Why lotus?"

For the first time in years, she saw him look truly astonished and, if he had been anyone else, she might have said he gaped at her.

Before he had the chance to answer her, however, she heard a familiar voice bellow out, "Get the fuck away from Kagome, Sesshomaru!"