A dark haired maid opens the door and drops down into a curtsy when she sees me.
"Your Highness!"
I smile and push away the gut ache. "Pardon me, but I'm supposed to have dinner with Lady Kriss and I thought I'd walk her down."
"Oh yes! Of course! Come on in Majesty, she's just finishing getting ready. I'll go fetch her."
"Thank you." She curtsies again and heads toward the bathroom.
I survey her room. There is absolutely nothing personal in here. It must be because she is only here for a short time.
Not long passes before Kriss walks out the bathroom door with a gorgeous floor length gown. The sparkling golden top has off-the-shoulder sleeves and the dark purple skirt is flowing in petals around her legs, fanning out like a beautiful flower.
"America! I'm so glad to see you!" She rushes toward me and engulfs me in a hug. My surprise takes me back a bit, as that is not what I expected her to say or do.
"Kriss! It's been so long!" I let go of her to examine her face. "Wow. You look absolutely stunning!" I thought I'd have to fake happiness and a smile but I was completely wrong. This was almost too easy.
"Thank you, but I can't compare to you! Look at that dress!" She turns me around to face the mirror and I can't help but agree with her. My persian blue, mermaid tail dress hugs me in all the right places. The back and sleeves are lace, while the rest is satin. And my hair is pinned up with pretty blue pins in a low side bun.
I sigh, "We look beautiful together."
"We make quiet the pair don't we."
"Should we make our way downstairs then?"
"Sounds perfect Your Majesty."
I roll my eyes as I take her arm and lead us towards the dining hall. I've had the cooks prepare us dinner and set up a smaller table set for two people. It's just us tonight. I really want the chance to know how she's feeling, and what I can do to help. But so far it's going far better then I ever expected. Hopefully it stays this way.
We take our seats as the staff brings out the appetizer.
"What have you been up to lately?" I ask
"Just catching up with family mostly. It was nice to see them after so long apart. I was never far from them before the selection."
"I know! I was so happy to see all my family. I've had a lovely time doing different things with my little sister and showing her everything."
"I wish I had siblings. They seem like so much fun."
"Oh they can be great, but they can also be a drag." I chuckle. "Sometimes I think about what it would be like without all my siblings."
She frowns, "It's lonely."
"No upside?"
"Not really."
"Oh, well I'm sure there's something."
"Well now that you mention it... I do get all my own clothes. It's nothing big but I know friends of mine who have older siblings never get new clothes."
"Oh it's something! All of my clothes came from my siblings. Even from my brother. We hadn't the money to care about girl or boy clothes. Whatever we could find worked."
"I imagine it's quite the change then. Now you have all the riches in the world." She smirked but I could tell it was more full of sorrow then laughter.
"Well I intend to do much better things with those riches, rather then spend it on clothes."
"And that's what is going to make you an excellent Queen." I could see the pain creeping into her eyes.
"Thank you." And I mean it.
We fall into silence. I try to think of something to say, but she beats me to it.
"I wanted to apologize."
"About what?"
"They way I talked to you the night you came back." She quiets her voice. "About being a rebel."
"There's no need to apologize, you did nothing wrong. I shouldn't have called you out, it's just that I had figured some stuff out and everything was crashing down on me at once."
"Oh."
Silence.
"Anyways, what is-"
Kriss cuts me off. "I love him."
This throws me off. "What?"
"Maxon, I still love him."
And there goes our almost perfect night.
I reach my hand out to hers, "Kriss, I-"
She jerks her hand back. "No. I-I-I- can't. I can't do this. I can't pretend to be happy to see you. I want to be friends. I do. But I can't help but hate you."
My hand falls.
"Every time I see your picture in the magazines or your face on the report I cringe, and think about everything you took from me. And seeing you in person and being nice to you...I...I just want too... I don't know. I do mean it though...you will be a great person Queen...but...I want to be that great Queen...I want to do great things for the country, not sit back and let you do it!"
"Kriss-"
"Please! Just let me talk. I just need...I just need too..." she suddenly pushes her chair back and jumps up. "I love him! I love him so much! And you took him! You took him from me. I don't know how...I did everything right...I'm kind, and...and likable, and funny, and I did everything right. You! You cheated on him! Or something? I'm not sure what that was with the guard in the hallway! But we could all tell you ignored him sometimes. But somehow he chose you! I just don't get it! I love him!" She's waving her arms like crazy and her hair is coming loose. She looks wild, almost crazy, but I stay calm and simply say.
"I do too."
She pauses, "huh?"
"I love him too. Kriss...he's the love of my life. I would do anything for him as he does for me. Our relationship was rocky, and yes I did get aggravated at times, but that doesn't mean I don't love him."
"I don't care if you love him. Don't you see? He's supposed to love me like he loves you. It's supposed to be me. I don't care about the palace or the crown, I just want him. I want him to love me and look at me the way he does you. I just... it's so hard to look at you, because you are what I'm not."
She is so caught up in her emotions she doesn't even make sense. She keeps contradicting herself.
"Kriss, please listen. I know you are hurt, and I know it's going to take time, but you are a wonderful person who deserves wonderful things. One day you will find someone who loves you the way Maxon loves me, and who you love the way I love Maxon."
"You don't get it America. I don't want some other person. I want him." She sighs. "Thanks for dinner, I've got to get going." With that she rushes out the door without either of us even taking a bite of food.
I sigh, tears threatening to pour out. I wanted so much for her to be able to like me. For us to be friends. But I can feel her pain. I know how she feels because I felt the same way when Maxon was going to choose her. It's like the world is pulled from under your feet and you are left all by yourself to fall into nothingness.
"Your Majesty?"
I snap out of my gaze to see a butler with a tray of food.
"I'm sorry to disturb you but, is she coming back?"
"Oh! No don't be sorry. She's not coming back. I think we are done for the night." He glances at our uneaten food. "Thank you so much for the dinner but it seems we have both lost our appetite. I'll be going now."
"Of course, Your Majesty." He bows.
I stand up and soberly walk out of the room. I meant to walk to my rooms but I somehow end up in the gardens. I sit on a bench and close my eyes. This is will forever be my happy place.