It was now the weekend, or almost, Friday evening, the second week of May now. Sharon was home from work, earlier than normal, mainly because she'd been called in Sunday evening and worked several hours that night. To keep from overtime, her department had sent her home after lunch on Friday. As she stood at the stove, working on spaghetti, she continually turned to check on Emily. Her daughter was getting into everything these days, and while she enjoyed her corner of the living room with all of her toys, Sharon frequently had to keep Emily out of things that didn't belong to her. Emily was busy stacking blocks, and Sharon turned back to the spaghetti.
She rubbed her temple; she was completely exhausted. She'd tried to take a nap when Emily had, but Sharon had not been able to fall asleep. Truthfully, she felt like crud, and she knew exactly why. She'd not felt this badly when pregnant with Emily, but everything she'd been reading confirmed what she knew-no two pregnancies were alike. True to her word, Sharon had not taken a test yet, but she knew. Everything in her body was changing-again. She'd done this once before. She was pregnant. She was humoring Jack right now, respecting that in his own way, this was how he was trying to deal with or come to turns with her pregnancy. Soon, though, it wouldn't be something that could be hidden, and she knew they would have to discuss it soon. Everything had come out in the open a week and a half ago now, the two recommitting to their marriage, the day in Jack's eyes they would look back and have "made a baby," even though both knew it was just their way of handling things.
Sharon glanced at Emily again, and as she was doing so, the front door opened. Both Sharon and Emily looked to it, and there was no question who was coming through the door with the bright smile Emily had. Sharon watched her toddle toward the door, and she heard Jack speak to her and scoop her up. It did look like the perfect family. She turned back to the spaghetti. Soon, Jack walked into the kitchen, Emily pushing on him to be put down. He put her down, and she returned to her play area. He walked up to Sharon as she was stirring the sauce.
"Hi," he said, leaning over her shoulder to kiss her cheek. He rested his hands on her hips, her ever widening hips, something she'd already started to notice with this pregnancy, just one of the many things she was already noticing but hadn't brought up since that morning.
"Hi," she said, twisting her head to kiss his cheek. He remained standing there behind her, looking over her shoulder.
"Smells great. I forgot you were coming home early or I would have opted to work from home all afternoon. Are you feeling any better?"
Sharon shook her head. Jack had been asking her that usually once a day, and she really wasn't. She felt terrible, but this morning, she'd felt particularly awful. With Emily, she'd been nauseous, but she'd not gotten sick like she was getting this time. Jack really was trying to help her with things. He had been there with her each morning since, checking on her, even holding her hair a few times. This was the sweet man she had first met, the man with whom she'd fallen in love and had so many dreams. Maybe, just maybe, they would be able to wipe the slate clean. She was trying.
"No, I've felt awful all day. I got sick at lunch as well, so I'm glad I was home. I made grilled cheese sandwiches for Emily and myself, and that didn't sit well."
"I'm sorry," he said, and with that, Sharon put down her spoon and turned in his arms, looking up at him. Jack reached into his coat jacket inside pocket, and he pulled out a box. She let out her breath and glanced up at him.
"Suppose we should know for certain?" Jack questioned and looked to Sharon. She felt tears gather in her eyes looking at the pregnancy test he'd finally brought home and nodded. Jack nodded toward the stove.
"Now or later? I don't know how your sauce is coming along," he gestured.
"Now," she said, clearing her voice. She'd needed to finally say this for certain for almost two weeks, so she turned to the stove, turned down the burner, looked back to Jack and reached for the box. He took her hand in his.
"We'll do this together," he said. Sharon nodded, and she checked on Emily, who was now watching them. Jack picked her up, and they made their way down the hallway. Sharon stopped at the hall bathroom.
"I'll just step in here," she looked to Jack there holding Emily. "I'll be right out."
"We'll wait here," Jack nodded, and less than a minute later, Sharon opened the door and nodded to the counter.
"It's almost ready, but Jack," she bit her lip, "I am pregnant. I'm sure of it. Everything is changing. Some of my pants are tighter-"
He leaned in and kissed her, still holding Emily. Sharon gripped his arm, and when they broke apart, he nodded to the counter.
"Let's see," he said, and hand in hand, they looked to find the two lines. Sharon let out another long sigh, relieved on one level it was finally confirmed, but scared on another. Jack turned to Emily, "See that, Em. You are going to be a big sister." With that, Sharon covered her mouth and started to cry again. Jack put Emily down who turned to run out of the room, and he pulled Sharon in and started to kiss her cheek and then her neck. He whispered to her, "We're having a baby, Sharon, our baby."
Later that same evening, Sharon was going over paperwork in bed, and Jack was working down the hall in his office area. He'd not moved back into their bedroom; honestly, it hadn't been discussed, not with all of the tension and readjustments still going on in the house. Since the first morning Sharon had told him about the baby and they'd spent the morning together in bed, they had not slept in the same room. It was almost as if neither knew how to bring up the subject, but just like the talk of the pregnancy was put on hold, that had been as well. They'd been going to bed at different times, possibly Sharon's way of not addressing the subject. Jack had made the first effort bringing home the pregnancy test, and now, Sharon felt it was her turn. She heard Jack walking down the hall.
"Jack," she called to him, and soon, he appeared in the doorway. Sharon had piles of paperwork around her, trying to sort things for work. Sharon gave him a small smile when he appeared in the doorway. His hair was disheveled, a sign he had been working hard. He often ran his hands through his hair as he worked, especially when he was tired. He had his dress shirt sleeves rolled up, and the shirt had three buttons unbuttoned. He looked worn out as well.
"Need something?" Jack asked.
She pursed her lips and thought a moment, "Yes, you," she said with a nod, blushing slightly at her bold statement. Jack's eyes widened at the door. He titled his head, trying to play along with her.
"How may I be of service?" Jack smiled, a twinkle in his eye.
"It seems to me that we need to discuss sleeping arrangements," she told him, trying to hold a serious expression. Jack nodded, waiting for her to continue. She gestured, "The house has three bedrooms. Emily has one. This is one, and as I see it, this new baby will need one. I believe you are being kicked out of your room down the hall, and I'd very much like it if you were to join me in this room."
"Really?" Jack smiled, stepping into the room as he walked gingerly toward the foot of the bed. "So, this is a permanent change?"
"I hope so," Sharon said quietly giving him a small smile and shrug of hope. "We have danced around a lot of things, Jack, but if we are going to have another child together, I would like to get our living situation back on track too."
He nodded in agreement, and then, he raised his eyebrows, "How tired are you?"
She closed her file and stacked all of her paperwork, moving it to her nightstand. As she did that, she turned out the light and looked back to him. With the hallway light, there was just enough light to see him, "I've been resting the last couple hours, so I'd say I am tired, but I'm not worn out yet."
Sharon started to chuckle as she could just barely see Jack quickly start to peel off his clothing and move toward the bed. Quickly, he dove into the bed, and Sharon started to sink down into her pillows. She felt Jack's hand move over her already protruding stomach, and he whispered to her, "I need you, Sharon, so much, so many nights. This baby is already putting us back together."
"Hmm, I believe it is, Jack," Sharon sighed and turned to kiss him.
Friday of the following week arrived, and that had Sharon daydreaming. She was currently sitting in the doctor's office exam room, awaiting her doctor. Jack had come too, but he was still in the waiting room. Sharon promised to have him brought back when they did the first ultrasound, but she wanted to do this initial part alone. She felt she owed it to Jack too, to go over these first details without him. He was taking on a lot, accepting this child as his own, and yes, she knew as well that she was accepting a lot, taking in all of his cheating and lying. Sharon was forgiving a lot herself, with the 11 women-a number she was having trouble forgetting-that he'd been with during their marriage already. Both were trying, and for that, she'd just asked Jack to wait, tell him that some things, a woman still preferred to do on her own.
Sharon had made this appointment before they had confirmed the test. She'd made it the morning after she'd told Jack everything from her office. That same day, she'd gone out over lunch and bough prenatal vitamins, again, completely sure of the changes in her body. This wasn't new to her; it was something she'd done just two years earlier. She still had the same doctor, and she believed the doctor would think this was a very well-planned pregnancy. Sharon would let her believe that. She and Jack did want to keep some of this to themselves. Now, the official visits would start, Sharon just hoping that she wasn't questioned about why she'd waited so long to see the doctor. She had a very good suspicion she was at the end of her first trimester, knowing to the day the date of conception. Now, the doctor would just confirm it for her, and their journey to bringing a second child into the world would officially be underway.
As she waited, Sharon continued to think back over the last several days. She and Jack had spent the week getting reacquainted, and that made her blush now. He'd moved back into their room a week ago now. They'd had an enjoyable Friday night. Saturday, she'd been sick most of the day, which again, was so unlike her pregnancy with Emily. Sunday, she had awakened to Jack wishing her a Happy Mother's Day, and he'd spent the next hour showing her that as well. She smiled at that memory. He was being so attentive to her, constantly caressing her stomach when they were together. He seemed to be committed to this child, and she was committed to making things work between them. Sharon knew Jack really enjoyed intimacy and worried it was one of the things that had him looking at other women. Her hormones were kicked into high gear right now, so she had not complained about their active week. Jack had settled a big inheritance case on Tuesday, and he'd wanted to celebrate, and just last night, Sharon had been complaining about her pants not fitting, the lines they were leaving cutting into her stomach, and that had Jack caressing her stomach again. One thing led to another…
Sharon fanned herself there as she waited, thinking about the intensity she felt with Jack and then the future with Jack. She was still so in love with him, despite everything, and knew they'd both messed up. Maybe this baby was their second change.
"Sharon," Dr. Beal said as she opened the door. Sharon smiled at her and let out a nervous breath. She gave her a nod.
"Dr. Beal, nice to see you," she said quietly, fidgeting with her hands.
"Now," the doctor said, sitting down on her stool as she glanced at the file, "it says you think you are pregnant."
"Hmm," Sharon chuckled, "I know I am. Everything is changing, getting bigger and rounder, everything," she rolled her eyes. "No doubt," she patted her stomach. "I wore a dress today because my pants are uncomfortable."
"Wow, okay," Dr. Beal smiled at her and closed the file for a moment. Sharon like her doctor, a woman almost 50, who was kind and very knowledgeable. "That sounds like a lot of change so early on. We can check on things and make sure it is not twins. If you are changing as much as you think this early, let's make sure it's just one baby in there."
Sharon's eyes widened in panic. Twins. She couldn't be having twins. One baby was enough of a kick to the gut for Jack. She had to be having only ONE baby. Not to mention, finances were going to be tight, really tight, just like her pants were feeling. The little progress they had started to make on paying down their bills, Sharon had told Jack she was afraid now that they wouldn't get anywhere, that knowing the cost of a second child would put them back where they had been. She couldn't be having two more children.
Sharon shook her head and turned her attention back to her doctor who was again looking at her file.
""Oh, okay here, well, maybe not twins. You marked the date of conception. Are you certain about this?" Dr. Beal looked to her. Sharon nodded.
"I'm positive," she told her. "Conception would have most definitely been March 26th. I'm guessing the ultrasound will confirm?" The doctor nodded, and Sharon nodded continuing, "Ahh, my mother died. I can be certain of the date due to ahh, events at the time."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Sharon," her doctor frowned and reached over to pat her hand. "Well then, I won't scold you as I was going to about getting in here this late. I mean, it's not the end of the world, but I would have expected you a couple weeks ago to make sure things are progressing normally and get you started on vitamins."
Sharon nodded, "I did start those a couple weeks ago. It's just been, ahh, a difficult time," she explained, biting her lip. She'd thought long and hard about this, and while she didn't want to lie to her doctor, she also didn't want to explain her affair right now. Jack knew, and that was all that mattered. A baby was a baby, not matter who created it. She'd decided that unless there was a medical problem with the baby, she was not going to get into the specifics of conception. Besides, she was committed to moving forward with Jack and had no interest in seeing that Andy guy again. There was nothing there. He'd been a means to an end, rebellion when she'd needed it.
"Well, your blood pressure is good, so let's get that ultrasound, hmm?" Dr. Beal said.
""Yes, oh, Jack," she frowned. "Could you please get him? He's in the waiting room, and I know he wants to see."
"Of course," she smiled brightly. "Proud papa, huh? As I remember, he barely made it to your daughter's delivery, but he did make it."
"Yes," Sharon said with a tight smile. She'd had her suspicions about where Jack was the day Emily was born, and after hearing about his "11 women" she was pretty sure her suspicions were correct, even though she hadn't officially confirmed he was cheating until almost Emily's first birthday. They were trying to move forward, and she wasn't sure that would ever come up again, but she was almost certain he'd started seeing a woman when she was pregnant. He'd smelled like perfume when he'd gotten to the hospital and had been unreachable at work. He'd looked disheveled too, but he had made it to see Emily born.
"I'll just go get him," the doctor said as she stood and smiled at Sharon. While the doctor was gone, Sharon cupped her hand around her rounding bump. It was a miracle, the miracle of life, but she hated that she had to be so fertile. Emily had been conceived the night Jack finally passed the Bar. Sharon had been sick the week prior to that, having to take antibiotics and had forgotten that they can mess with birth control. Now, another mess up, of course, her own doing by seeking out a man she had just met to take away her pain, but again, she'd not even thought about the fact that she hadn't refilled her prescription.
"Who are you in there?" Sharon whispered to the baby. "I'm sorry about all of this. You deserve the best, and that's what I'm trying to do for you. I'm trying to give you a mommy and a daddy who love each other and love you very much. Life would not be fair sharing you with some random stranger I saw for a few hours on two occasions, whose name I barely knew. Your daddy is trying really hard already, and I'm trying too, for you, my love. I am sorry I ever made you feel unwanted. I love you already."
The door opened, and Sharon dropped her hand. She'd made a conscious effort not to cradle herself around Jack, why , she didn't know. On some level, though, maybe she felt like it was rubbing it in his face, this pregnancy. That was absurd, because he'd told her he was all in, was ready to take on their family as a family. Still, though, it had to hurt, seeing her with another man's child growing inside. She had thought back to that morning many times, the morning he'd talked about the two of them creating a baby, a baby that had already been created and was already growing.
"Let's try again to make a baby," she remembered him saying. That morning and several times since then, she'd given herself to Jack, committed to starting over. She shook her head and smiled at Jack walking into the room. She met his gaze and smiled even more; he was visibly nervous. He'd told her he was nervous the night before, just wanting things to be okay. He didn't make eye contact for long, his eyes darting around the room. Sharon found her hand cupping her stomach again, and for once, it felt okay, normal. Jack finally met her gaze and nodded at her. She nudged her head to the chair next to her, and he sat down in it. Sharon looked over and reached for his hand, which he gave to her, as the doctor started to get the ultrasound ready.
"Okay, let's meet Baby Raydor," she grinned as she pulled up the screen. Sharon closed her eyes momentarily and swallowed hard. She felt Jack squeeze her hand, and she looked over to him. He had his eyes focused on the screen, not her, and with that, she felt a tear slip out of her eye. "Ahh, yes, looking good, this baby. I'm measuring size, and yes, looks like Baby Raydor is measuring right at your dates, Sharon, right at the end of March, March 26th as you told me, and with that," the doctor paused to check a few things, "you are just measuring at 10 weeks along, and you have a baby due right around December 19th. "
Sharon glanced over at Jack as the doctor told them all of that. She winced when the actual date was mentioned. Jack just continued to sit there, looking not at her, but at the screen.
"Good to meet you, Baby Raydor. What a Christmas present you will be," the doctor pronounced with a smile at the two.
Baby Raydor…it fit, but it didn't.