A/N This chapter was named after the song Say Something sung by the Pentatonix, originally sung and written by A Great Big World. Please read, review, and let me know how you're enjoying the story.
Solas left the little art store and stepped back out into the rain, rounding the corner and crossing the street. He leaned against the brick wall of the little cafe, raising his face to the sky and took a deep breath. He knew he should have just walked out when he saw that Elyssa worked there. Not stood there gawking like a love-sick teenager. But then she had spotted him and nearly broke her neck falling off of her ladder. He had tried to catch her gently, but he didn't miss the wince of pain when his arms had caught her right on some of the bruises she still had. Anger flashed through his chest, still desperately wanting to get his hands on whoever had hurt her that way. Then the look of sheer heartbreak on her face when he had moved away from her. He hated himself for putting that look there.
He went inside the cafe and ordered a cup of the same tea he would give Elyssa at lunch. She said that she had noticed the face he would make when she drank it. He normally hated tea, but today he didn't care. He took a sip and shuddered, staring at the cup with an arched brow. How anyone could like this stuff, he would never know. Still, he slowly sipped on the bitter drink, torturing himself with memories. Once he was finished, he ordered a large cup of hot cider to go and walked out of the shop. He was fumbling with his umbrella when a voice called out to him and made his stomach drop.
"There you are, my wolf. Trying to find you is as bad as hunting Father's halla. I've missed you," Andruil said in her sultry Ferelden accent. She stepped toward him and ran a crimson fingernail down his chest. Solas stood frozen, fear clouding his thoughts. "So when are you going to come home?" She then laid her hand flat on his chest and moved her way toward curling it around the back of his neck. How many times had those very hands hurt him? How many scratches, slaps, fistfuls of skin? He shivered at the memories of the pain suffered at these very hands. Andruil felt his body tremble beneath her hand, a large predatory smile stretching across her face.
"What in Thedas are you doing here, Andruil?" Solas managed to whisper. Her sharp grey eyes pierced him. He had once thought her the most beautiful woman he had ever seen when they met in high school. Her night-black hair fell in soft curls to the center of her back, she was just shy of a foot shorter than him, her lips were plush and red, and in his naivety, he hadn't seen the feral fangs behind them. He had been so naive then. He had let her use him as she saw fit, believing when she told him he would never find anyone better. Believing that she had loved him. It was all so painfully clear now the only thing she loved more than herself, was seeing him in pain.
"You didn't answer any of my voicemails, and I wanted to see you," she pressed herself closer to him, using light pressure on the back of his neck to discourage him from moving away. "I've missed you, Solas. I want you to come home, where you belong," she purred. She ran her thumb down the back of his neck and leaned forward, capturing his lips. Solas' body had frozen with shock. Her lips were soft, full, and tasted of dark cherries. At one time, he believed her mouth to be the most delicious taste in the world. Believed her lips were the best feeling. Believed her to be the most amazing creature. Until she had shown him her true self.
Solas' eyes widened in surprise when a flash of a blue umbrella caught his eye. He pulled away from Andruil in time to see Elyssa staring at him from across the street, a look of painful horror on her face. Before he could do anything, she turned and ran in the opposite direction. Something in him snapped just then. All of the twisted games and abuse he had suffered through with Andruil. All of the nights he spent in the arms of different women after she had left him, all of the nightmares he had lived and dreamt flew through his mind. He was done. He grabbed Andruil by the shoulders and pushed her away from him, her eyes narrowing in anger.
"We are through, Andruil. We have been for a long time. I'm not going back there, and especially not with you. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish here, but it won't work. Go home," he growled.
"You've changed, Solas," she stated, her tone clear with displeasure, "I remember when you would call me Andri, give me whatever I wanted. Where is that Solas?" Her eyes were hard with cruelty. Her lips turned down into a frown. Her eyebrows furrowed together unpleasantly. It was a look that had once paralyzed him with fear. Right now, however, he couldn't care less how displeased Andruil was. That look that had been on Elyssa's face seized his heart more than Andruil's scowl ever could.
"That Solas died the day you left to avoid the repercussions of your actions," Solas growled harshly.
"So you're content to sit there with a bunch of bratty teenagers, teaching them how to draw and paint art as if it mattered?" Andruil scoffed.
"I'm content with any life that doesn't have you in it," Solas spat, his body beginning to shake with anger.
"Need I remind you who holds your damn leash, wolf? You're nothing without me!" she spat back. Her eyes were hard and filled with malice. The last time Solas had seen eyes that cruel had been that dreadful time in the Frostbacks with her. When he had thought they'd had a chance to repair their twisted, mangled relationship. How utterly wrong he'd been.
The memories of the extent she had gone through just to make him hurt in new ways turned the blood in Solas' veins to fire. He had worked hard to get over her, to start over as best he could, to learn how to laugh and smile again. It hadn't even been until recently that he had even truly done so. He was going to be damned if he let Andruil waltz back into his life and steal whatever happiness he had. "I hold my leash, Andruil. Stay the fuck away from me," he ordered, his body vibrating with the intensity of not only his anger but also his fear. He'd never stood up to Andruil before, not like this. "Don't call me, don't follow me, nothing. I'm done playing your sick games. Go find another toy to play with and torture, or ten. I don't care!" Solas turned around and walked away from her. He was still shaking when he made it back to his house.
Who did Andruil think she was? How dare she come back as if she hadn't almost killed him. Solas had told Elyssa that there had to be boundaries between them. Andruil was the reason for those boundaries. How could he open himself up to trust again when it had almost killed him last time? But seeing Elyssa's pain, hearing her cries... It had hurt much, much more than he had anticipated. Elyssa hadn't had a clue about his past. The twisted games Andruil would play, pouncing on every secret, every insecurity, anything she could, and viciously warped it to use against him. One minute she would be lavishing him with love and devotion, and the next he would find her lounging in the arms of another, laughing and sneering at him as though she gained immense pleasure from seeing the tormented looks he gave her. Three years he had endured countless forms of her emotional abuse. The last year of their relationship being the worst Solas fled from the memories that threatened to surface to the spare room he had set up as a studio. He began sketching something onto one of the larger canvases he had, not noticing nor caring what the subject was. When he was finished sketching his outline, he took a step back to appraise it. His heart beat painfully slow in his chest as he recognized the image he had unknowingly drawn. He had sketched out a female elf with ash white hair and soft, jade green eyes, holding a fiery red and orange poppy in her hands, a single tear sliding down her cheek. He missed her so much his heart shattered at the thought of her. He had just seen her but he had pushed her so far away it felt as if mere hours had been eons ago. He looked at the beginnings of the painting, the sketch of the person he wanted most. Solas had nearly made up his mind to destroy the piece when his cell phone rang.
"Hello?" he said into the receiver. There was no response, but he could hear the sound of water gently sloshing and labored breathing. Who had called him? "Hello?" he said once more. He was suddenly filled with an ominous sense of dread. He knew that whoever had called him, hadn't done so for a pleasant conversation.
"Solas?" the tear-filled voice of Elyssa finally sounded from the other line. His heart paused in its beating, his lungs refusing to take in air. She had never called him before, so why was she calling him now?
"Elyssa?" Solas answered, trying not to let his overwhelming concern bleed into his voice. She hadn't answered, so he tried once more. "Elyssa, are you okay?" A rattling, shallow breath was all he heard, along with another splash of water. "Elyssa, are you alright? Please, vhenan, talk to me," he pleaded.
"I'm scared…" she whispered. His entire body went cold as the pieces finally clicked into place. The sounds of water, the quietness of her voice, and the way she sounded as if she were having trouble breathing. No…
"Elyssa! Answer me!" he yelled into the phone, desperation filling his voice, his breathing coming in sharp, painful gasps. "Elys-" He was cut off by another splash of water and the line went dead.
Everything Solas had been trying so desperately to hold in snapped. In less than a minute he was on the phone with Salem. He kept his explanation brief and informative. Right now was not the time for lengthy conversations. Right now he had to get to Elyssa. He had to see if she was alright, but every sense of his being knew that she wasn't. She wouldn't have called him if she were okay. She wouldn't have told him she was scared. The line wouldn't have cut off so abruptly.
He ran the short distance to her house, fear and terror pounding through every step. He saw only her blue Ranger in the driveway. It was likely she was alone, but why? Didn't her mother understand that the last thing she needed right now was to be alone? Salem had said she refused to believe the truth about what Elyssa went through a few nights prior; but was her lack of concern for her oldest daughter that extensive? He cautiously turned the knob for the front door, opening it with no resistance. At first, he heard no sounds coming from inside the house. The silence did nothing to calm his fears. He quickly glanced through the first few rooms on the ground floor. It became apparent that there were no bedrooms downstairs, and therefore likely that - wherever she may be - Elyssa was not downstairs. He began making his way upstairs when he was greeted to the sight of a large grey tipped brown and black striped tabby cat, a pink collar jingling softly around its neck. Its tail waved back and forth with hurried, determined movements as if to get his attention. Its mouth set against a patch of white fur was turned down. Large yellow eyes stared up at him, obviously not happy. He continued walking up the stairs, the cat following. As soon as he made it up the stairs, the cat made a beeline for an open door down the hall. Something inside of Solas told him to follow, told him this was where he needed to be. What it didn't tell him, was how to be prepared for the horror that was unfolded before him.
In a small tub opposite the door, was a petite body in a familiar sweater. Her head had sunk below the almost overfilled tub. Splayed out on the floor beside the tub was a sketchbook. On the ledge of the sink was a small orange bottle toppled over onto its side. His heart stopped beating, his body was frozen unable to move for the slightest of seconds. Then, like a train of adrenaline crashing into him, he was running into motion.
"Elyssa!" He yelled panic and despair threatening to overcome him.
His feet couldn't carry him fast enough to the tub. Heart beating frantically, he reached into the tub, wincing at the overheated temperature of the water. He wound one arm under her legs, the other under her neck close to her shoulders. He pulled her out of the tub, cradling her soaking body close to his chest, not caring that he was getting soaked in the process. With wild eyes, he glanced over her small frame. A new round of panic flooded his veins. She wasn't breathing. He turned around the room, still holding Elyssa close, to find what had caused her to stop breathing. His eyes were drawn to the orange bottle on the sink. She must have taken some kind of prescription medication. He set her down gently onto the cool tile of the floor. He snatched the bottle off the sink, reading the name and date of the prescription speedily. She had taken almost a full bottle of narcotics. "No-no-no-Elyssa-NO!" His words strung together as he fell to his knees beside the unconscious girl. He had taken enough first aid classes to know he needed to get the pills out of her system, and quickly. He prayed she would forgive him whenever she came to. He stuck two fingers into her mouth, pushing until he hit the back of her throat. Gently wiggling, he moved his fingers a little deeper, accomplishing his goal. She coughed and threw up onto the floor beside her. Her eyes never opened, but she began breathing.
Solas pulled her into his lap, away from the contents he was able to get from her stomach. He cradled her, softly rocking back and forth as he buried his head into the dripping folds of her hair. He didn't try to stop the tears that fell down his face, nor the cries of anguish that racked through him. "Don't leave me, Elyssa," he begged in a whisper, "I need you. I need you here with me. Please wake up… please don't leave me, vhenan."
It felt as though centuries had passed before Salem arrived with Bull and the paramedics. Solas fought as they tried to take Elyssa from his arms. He couldn't let her go. He couldn't leave her for fear that he would never see her again. He watched in silent panic as they worked on her in the back of the ambulance as they rode to the hospital. He couldn't believe it had come to this. That she saw no other way out. She had been through so much in her short life. She had suffered so much pain and heartache. Pain and heartache that he had contributed to by sleeping with her and then pushing her away. He had been such a fool, and if Elyssa died now, he would never stop blaming himself.
When they reached the hospital, Elyssa was wheeled in on a stretcher no closer to life than she had been when Solas found her. A kindly male nurse in glaringly bright pink scrubs sympathetically informed Solas he couldn't go any further. At first, Solas wanted to argue and fight. It wasn't until Salem laid a gentle grey hand on his shoulder that he realized he needed to stay out of the way if there was to be any hope for Elyssa. He needed to let Nurse Pavus and his colleagues do their jobs and attempt to save the life of the woman he loved. With a sad nod, he agreed to stay in the waiting room until they had a better idea of what was going to happen. Salem came with him, the look on her face far from pleased. She looked almost as afraid as he felt.
"Solas, what happened?" Salem sighed.
"I-I don't know," he stammered, falling into one of the empty seats. "I saw her at the art store I decided to shop at, just a few hours ago. She didn't seem in the best mood, but I didn't think she was so upset she would resort to suicide!" Breathe in. Breathe out. It will be okay. It has to be okay. He couldn't live the rest of his life not seeing that beautiful, dimpled smile Elyssa had again. Without hearing the musical sound of her laughter. Without seeing the loving look her eyes held for him. He needed her to be okay.
"Salem, I can't lose her," his lip quivered and he stared at his friend with pleading eyes.
"Solas, there has to be more to this than, 'she saw you at her workplace,'" Salem began pacing, no doubt thinking of logical reasons Elyssa would choose now to try to end her life.
"She saw me with Andruil after she got off work," Solas admitted, his head held in shame, "the look on her face… she looked so heartbroken."
Salem rounded on Solas, a hard look in her eyes. "You were with Andruil?" She growled.
"It's not what you think," Solas sighed, "I'm not stupid enough to go back to her. Though she tried,"
"How exactly did she try?" Salem asked with a raised eyebrow in question. She was familiar with Andruil and her methods. She had seen Solas fall for them all before. She knew how hard it had been for Solas to get over her after she had left him. Andruil coming back after so long wasn't good in the slightest.
"Her usual tricks. Telling me she missed me, that I was nothing without her. Then she kissed me."
Understanding dawned in Salem's eyes. "Elyssa saw the kiss, didn't she?" Solas simply nodded his head, his breath catching in his throat. Had that been the final straw for Elyssa? Was he the reason she didn't want to live anymore? A strangled sob escaped his throat, tears falling like rain from his eyes. He had been so stupid, so foolish, so selfish. He had reached out and grabbed something he knew better than to take, and then tossed it away in selfish fear. He had wanted Elyssa so badly, he hadn't at all concerned himself with how it was going to affect her. He didn't know what he had expected that night, but it hadn't been for her to tell him she loved him. He had been surprised, exhilarated, and terrified. He wished he could turn back the hands of time. There were so many things he could have - should have - done differently; beginning with telling her that he loved her too.
Nurse Pavus came into the waiting room before Salem could say anything more. His brows furrowed and his mustache was stretched downward with his lips in a frown. Solas's heart pounded in his chest, he couldn't breathe. Elyssa had to be okay. She had to….
"We have her stabilized," the nurse said, "now we just wait for her to wake up."