A/N: Really sorry for the delay on this chapter, guys! One of my dogs passed away a couple of days ago, my toxic ex best friend is trying to start drama, and I'm currently trying to write this with 3 5-week-old puppies wrestling in my lap. The song this week is from a show I watched a while ago and really enjoyed. It's called "Tell Me A Story" but season two is the only season worth watching, in my opinion. It's a crime-story kind of thing based on fairytales. The song this chapter comes from is a gender reversed Beauty and the Beast. I connect with this song and feel Raven does too, hence the reason I wrote this chapter.

One more thing, in response to Lovepeaceandwar, you can absolutely suggest songs! The worse I can say is 'pass'. I have to enjoy listening to the song and see a suitable story to it before I use it in a chapter, but again, the worst I can do is not use it. I'm always looking for suggestions!

P.S. I do not own this song. I'm nowhere near talented enough to write it. I can barely play it on the guitar!

Thx!

AMM

Song: Nobody Knows by Tell Me A Story (Season Two) cast

Everything seems to have been going great for once. The world isn't in danger, there's been a lull in criminal activity, Raven's able to express herself more, there's no more threat of Trigon, and Raven and Robin can finally be happy together. At least, Robin thinks so. But just because the threat is gone, doesn't mean everyone can be happy all the time. Raven can't keep pretending like she can just forget the past and the trauma she's had to endure. She's not worrying about the world anymore so it's time for her fears and thoughts from before Trigon to finally

~Raven's POV~

I can't take it anymore, the looks, the smiles, the act, like everything is okay. And maybe to them it is. But to me it's not. I can't just forget. I've been trying to keep up this front, not let them know that I'm still affected, let them have their hard-earned victory. They deserve it anyways. But this continuous joy, the never-ending smiles and laughter, the belief that everything is okay now when it's not, I can't take it! I try to make it out of the room but the laughter caused by one of Cy's jokes at Beast Boy's expense gets me and I cry out, falling to my knees as my emotions come roaring from the box I've tried storing them in.

This, of course, immediately alerts the team, it immediately alerts my leader, my best friend and over-protective boyfriend.

I stumble to my feet and make an unsteady dash for the door, hearing Robin jump over the back of the couch.

I try to teleport but find that I can't, my mind is in shambles right now, and my required concentration is gone. I feel like I'm drowning in emotional turmoil and I'm moving far too slow to be able to get away from my concerned lover.

"Raven! Whoa, Raven! What's wrong?" His hands are on my shoulders and he's the only thing keeping me from collapsing back to the floor.

"How-how can you?" I ask weakly as tears stream down my face.

"How can I what? Rae, you're worrying me." I take a deep breath and shove his hands off my shoulders, stumbling around him and towards my room.

"You're clearly in no condition to be walking," he says from behind me and suddenly I'm being scooped up and we're changing directions, heading towards his room instead of mine.

I'm quick to stop fighting him, knowing he'll only annoy me if I don't explain. He must feel the fight leave my body as I slump in his arms and bury my face in his shoulder, my tears dampening his cape and the shoulder of his uniform. I can feel his speed pick up and then the swish of doors opening before I'm gently being set on the soft comforter of his bed, still surprisingly rumpled from this morning when we woke up.

"Talk to me, please," he sits in front of me, leaning forward to look in my eyes, his mask suddenly gone.

I bet you think you know me

I bet you think you care

"How well do you think you know me?" I as after a moment of silence and I can tell the question shocks him as he leans away from me with wide eyes.

"I-I-"

"Would you say it's well?"

"I think-I know that I know you better then anyone else on the team, you've said so yourself."

"Yes, but how well is that?"

"What are you getting at, Rae?" He evades.

"I bet you think you know me, I bet you think you care," I say quietly as I wrap my arms tightly around myself.

"What are you talking about? Of course I care!"

"But do you? Robin, I've been struggling these last few weeks but did you know it?" I chance a look at him through my lashes and he's sitting back, staring at me like I've grown another head. "Were you aware how hard it's been for me? Trying to adjust to a completely different way of living? One where I can feel emotion that I don't know what to do with? To feel all the things that I was too busy too feel before?

I bet you think I'm stronger then I really am

"But you've never really shown that you were so deeply affected. I thought this what your way of behaving now that you can feel without blowing something up! You're always so strong, Rae, I thought you were okay! Maybe not super happy, but at least not stressed and depressed anymore.

"Just because I act strong, it doesn't mean I am." I tell him, looking back to my lap. The words seem to act like a slap to the face.

I hide behind the laughter

"I admit, I was trying to hide it but if you knew me as well as I thought you did, you should've realized something was off-I don't laugh." It seems I've dealt him a second metaphorical slap as his breath catches and mixed emotions wash over me through the bond.

In an effort to conceal my true emotions, I've tried to copy the actions of the others, which involves a lot of laughing. Sure, I've chuckled in the past but I've never been one to let out a full-on laugh, even on accident.

Nobody knows how hard it is to wake up

Nobody knows how many tears I've cried

Sometimes I wanna give up

I stand from the bed and approach his floor to ceiling windows, noticing he doesn't follow me. "I wonder what it'd be like to fall asleep and not wake up," I whisper and that's when I hear him move, not surprised when I see his reflection in the window, not an inch behind me, his body heat radiating into my back.

"Why would you ever think something like that?" he asks, heartbroken.

"I think everyone has that thought at least once in their life." I partially evade. "It seems fitting that now is when I have it."

"No, it's not fitting. Everything is okay now! Everything is over, everyone is safe, we can all move on-"

"No, Robin! Everything is not okay; it is not over, I can't move on! I was too stressed when we were waiting for the arrival of Trigon! I didn't think about how I felt, I didn't think about what would happen if I somehow defeated him, I didn't bother thinking about anything after the fact! But now it's happened and everything has slowed down and it's consuming me! It's all I can think about! There is no moving on! I don't even know how to do that anymore! You don't know how much I've cried, trying to understand and comprehend what I'm supposed to do with my life now! I was never told how to feel! It was always, conceal it, Raven, don't show it, Raven, don't let your emotions control you, Raven! Never, how are you today, Raven? How are you feeling today, Raven? Is everything okay, Raven? None of that! I'm out of my depth here! I don't know what to do!" My voice has risen to a shout as it comes pouring out of me and more tears have begun to leak from my eyes.

Nobody knows how hard it is to smile

"How do you do it?" I suddenly ask, my voice dropping back to a whisper.

"Do what?" he asks, voice strained.

"Smile so much? A genuine smile?"

"Because I'm feeling genuinely happy. I have a lot to be happy about; the team, the safety of the city, you. You make me happier then anyone has since I was a child, Rae."

I bet you think I'm happy

But I've got you fooled

And all my perfect pictures are lying to you to

"I-I thought you were happy. The small smiles you'd give me at night when it was just the two of us, the hand squeezes when we held hands under the table, or how you'd snuggle in when watching something on TV.

"I was….content but I wouldn't say happy," I reply softly. "I don't know a time where I was truly happy for more then a few minutes. I feel safe with you, Robin, and at ease, but have always felt that I can't let you all the way in because you'll look at me how you're looking at me right now. With sad puppy dog eyes and a broken heart because I'm not who you thought I was.

"You weren't happy here?" I hear him shift and something click on when a small light is aimed at me. I glance over and see him holding his phone out, a picture of us filling the screen. The picture was taken about a week ago, when Robin and I had stayed up late watching a movie before moving to his room for bed. I hadn't been tired yet so I'd been reading, using my powers to hold the book above my head so I could lie on my back with Robin's shirtless form sprawled across my chest, his arms wrapped around me with his hand holding the phone away from us to capture the picture. He had immediately claimed it was a favorite of his and saved it to his phone. There was a barely noticeable smile on my face and my eyes are concentrated on his reflection in the phone instead of the lens.

I slowly reach out and take the phone from his hand, holding it closer to my face as I absorb every detail about the picture. To most, I look normal, emotionless and neutral but I can tell the slight turn of my lips that I'm smiling, or at least my version of a smile, and it's because of the man hugging me tight, snuggled into my chest. And though I know I'd felt something in that moment, I'm still not sure I'd call it happiness. I'm not one for pictures so I don't see the point of capturing a moment through a photo.

"I fell further in love with you, but I wouldn't call it a happy moment. Again, I was content and comfortable and was more concentrated on you then me." His shoulders sag.

I'm terrified of failing

I'm scared to be alone

And I don't want anyone to know

"Why haven't you told me this before? Why did it take you haven't some kind of episode for me to learn something's been going on with you? Would you have ever told me?"

"Because I didn't know what to make of it myself! And the last thing I wanted to do was drag all of you into my depression and anxiety! You all have earned your victory, your relaxation and happiness! But I don't know what to do with myself; I was never trained for this! For unbridled emotion and overwhelming feelings! I didn't want to fail you guys by letting on that I'm not relieved and happy! I don't want to lose the team-I don't want to lose you but it seems like I already have! Don't think I'm not noticing you withdrawing from me and closing off your half of the bond," I point at him accusingly.

Nobody knows how hard it is to be here

"Wouldn't it just be easier if I left? If I wasn't a burden anymore? Because I've noticed that too, all of you acting differently when I'm around. I don't fit in like you guys; I'm easily the most different out of a group of misfits. I don't fit with the misfits. You all have your genuine emotions and are able to be yourselves with each other and then I come in and a tension grows in the background, like I'm a ticking time bomb that one wrong word could trigger. It's made me feel like I am a time bomb; like I have to control myself before I say something none of you expect or want to hear! I should leave and take my creepy ways with me!" I turn to leave the room when I feel arms wrap around me from behind and I'm suddenly being pulled to the ground.

"Don't do that, please don't leave me," he whispers into my shoulder as I sit between his knees, his arms wrapped around me to prevent me from moving. "I can't do this without you. I'll help you through this, Rae, you've just gotta let me. You haven't scared me off; you've just brought my attention to problems I didn't know were there. I can't lose you too."

I try to curl in on myself as his bond connection opens back up and begin to drown me.

"You aren't alone, you're never alone, I will always be here for you, please believe that." He begins rocking back and forth as the tears begin to flow again but I realize that they're not just from me, but from him as well. The collar of my leotard is getting wet from his tears. "We'll work through it together. I know now."

I can only hope and pray that he's right.

A/N: Originally, I wrote this story with Raven attempting to take her life but felt that was too dark (like other things I write aren't dark) but I wasn't really liking how it was coming out anyway so I scrapped it and rewrote it this way. I know the ending was kinda abrupt but I wasn't sure how to end the chapter without dragging it out unnecessarily long. If you have any song suggestions, feel free to leave them along with reviews! I know most of these chapters are angsty and dark but Raven is an angsty and dark character and a lot of the music I tend to listen to is as well so I think it just fits. There aren't a lot of happy, lovey-dovey songs that I know that really fit these guys, or at least Raven.

Thx!

AMM