The authors on FF hope the trouble is behind us and there are no more issues with chapters disappearing. It actually gave me time to catch up on my story as work, real life, have provided for some very long days the past few weeks. Some know that I have an artistic life on weekends and it is coming to a crescendo in two weeks with the autumn show. So if there are no new chapter for a while, there is a reason. As always, thank you for your comments and PM's.

Chapter 16

A week later, as Louisa looks in the mirror at her reflection, discouragement plays out on her face, as she sees her widening girth. I walk up the stairs to our bedroom, stopping to admire her beautiful body.

"Louisa you are the most enticing woman on earth… hhm, at least in my eyes," I shyly say.

Tears well up in her eyes and it confuses me, 'What did I say to make her cry?' I wonder.

Seeing my confused look she explains, "Martin that expression of me 'attractive' looking like this just made me so happy. When a woman is more than eight months pregnant, huge and feeling fat, and her partner utters those words; it makes her feel so happy."

"But you are … so … so beautiful. You glow and you are so lovey. For years, my stumbling conversations with you, saying ridiculous sometimes-hurtful comments, I am flustered around you. I can't think straight, then I say what I believe is logical, but it turns out to hurt you. I do not understand you most times and my mouth just locks and then utters rubbish. Louisa, I don't know what you see in me."

I walk over and wrap my arms around her, kissing the nape of her neck before burying my face into her hair. I love her hair, the scent of her neck just behind her ear; if I could stay right here forever, I would and be the happiest man alive. Minutes pass, I have not moved a muscle so Louisa turns just enough to make me look at her,

"Thank you Martin, that is sweet. I love you."

My eyes grow wet, but I will not let these happy tears flow; instead, I reach up and take her face into my hands, bringing my lips to hers, kissing her deeply to express all my love. Releasing her lips, I lean down gently lifting her into my arms and carry her over to the bed, laying her onto it. Lying beside her, and cuddling her. We quietly enjoy each other's presence; for me this is almost as good as making love to Louisa. Feeling comfort, belonging; something I never felt before with anyone.

For Louisa the last few minutes brought love and trust for the man that she walked away from so many months ago. She let so many others determine how she felt for him. Always apologizing for his behavior when he couldn't care less what people thought of him. Why? She just expressed her love to him so what did it matter what others thought; she loved him because he was Martin, that includes his idiosyncrasies, those are what make him so extraordinary.

We laid cuddling for some time until I move my hand down to her bump. I spread out my hand feeling the frantic kicking of our child.

"What does it feel like when the baby kicks like this?"

"Oh like someone thumping from the inside, it doesn't hurt unless the kicks are aimed at my bladder or ribs. Not pain exactly but very uncomfortable; usually I need to wee when the kicks hit my bladder, and with my ribs, I can feel a bit winded. When the baby pushes up at my ribs to stretch, it feels like it is using me as a jungle gym. Just rubbing the area of the kicks or stretch eases and it relaxes the offending arm or leg."

I gently rub the area on her right side of the bump where our child is kicking; talking softly to her fluttering caroming belly, and slowly the movement slows and stops. I kiss her bump and talk to it again.

Louisa is amazed by my interaction with our child; 'I was wrong, he will be a great father.'

"Martin, what did you say? Our baby has settled down."

"That it should be nicer to his mother; soon enough it will be out of its' cramped living space. Our child will have a wonderful mother because she chose to keep and protect it."

Louisa again sees the love in my eyes. Thinking when we are alone the real Martin peeks out over his wall, and over these past months he has come out more often, the kind and gentle loving man that wanted and needed her love. Louisa smiles and runs her fingers through my hair, letting me know she appreciated my words.

"I finished going through the 'baby name book' and here is my list of girl names," I say as I reach over to my bedside stand drawer.

Louisa reads the names aloud, "Catherine."

"My grandmother, Auntie Joan's mom and it can be shorten to Cathy if we wish."

"Olivia, I have that one on my list." Louisa then continues, "Courtney. Martin these are lovely names. I would like to add Victoria and Abigail to our list. Like with the boy names we can decide with their birth."

'I am happy to provide Louisa with these names; maybe they will be useful with our next child, a lovely little girl like her mother.'

xXxXx

I spend days thinking about what kind of future I can have with Louisa and our child. So much has changed between us; we have disagreements but not the terrible rows we had prior to her leaving for London. Louisa continues to confuse me, but she now explains what she means when I don't understand and with the help from Doctor Hayes explaining how I can become the better partner Louisa needs I am coping much better. He and I have discussed my miserable childhood and I slowly understand that I was not a needy child as my parents led me to believe. To be happy with Louisa I needed to work through my own problems first because I can't make her happy unless I am happy with myself. Doctor Hayes continues to emphasize.

When it is just us it is wonderful, but then the villagers interfere with unscheduled knocks at the cottage door or make derisive comments on our outings, I lose my temper and can see her disapproving face. There will always be interruptions while we live at the surgery, maybe I should ask her if she would like to move house. Opening my laptop, I research real-estate offerings.

A few days later, I have the monthly PCT meeting and Louisa has an antenatal appointment. My meeting will take most of the early afternoon, while Louisa's time would be shorter, later in the day. Louisa suggests she could take a taxi, but I wouldn't hear of it. Having a better idea, I speak to Auntie Joan asking if she could drop Louisa off at her appointment time and I can meet her at the clinic after my meeting.

"I will see you at your appointment, have a good morning and don't work so hard. I… I thought we would have dinner in Truro if that is alright with you?" I say pulling her into a hug.

"That would be nice. See you later," she says as she kisses my cheek and leaves out the back door.

Unnoticed by the couple, Pauline stands in the hallway near the phlebotomy room; surprised by their interaction. She would never believe the Doc could be so romantic. She assumes he must have been at least once if Louisa is pregnant.

xXxXx

By mid-morning, I leave for Truro for my meeting that includes my lecture. Everything goes well and after the question and answer period finishes, the meeting ends and the doctors either leave or settle into conversations with each other. Chris and I head for the lifts to his office. He asks how everything with Louisa and the baby are going, and if there is anything, he can do.

"We are working through things, problems crop up here and there, and I am learning how to express myself more. Louisa desires more conversation from me. I'm not allowed to answer with single syllable words or sounds."

Chris laughs. I give him a confused look.

"Mart, I've known you for twenty plus years and I barely receive multiple syllable answers." He laughs again.

"Grunting," I am not amused but I do understand.

"I am trying, but every time we do have a relaxing conversation or a moment we are interrupted by the idiotic villagers. I am currently looking for a larger cottage on the out skirts of the village, but there don't seem to be any for sale at this time."

"That is a huge step in your relationship Mart, have you discussed it with Louisa? Does she want to continue living with you?"

"Why wouldn't she want to continue living together? I know she does not want to marry me but I need to take care of her. I thought I would look, if I found anything then I would bring up the subject of a different house. For one, my cottage is not the place for a newborn or our privacy; between the germs and patients showing up at all times of the day and night."

"Talk to her first, and I may have an idea of a cottage in mind for you. Didn't know you were looking or I would have sent this notice to you."

Chris opens his email on his laptop, finding the one he is looking for and turns his computer towards me to see. I scan through the email and my eyes light up,

"That house is up the road from my cottage, but the real-estate agent didn't have it listed. Who is Ewan Mann?"

"A friend of Tracy's." Tracy is Chris's wife. "It was their summer house, but his wife recently passed away and he doesn't plan on coming here anymore. The wife was from Cornwall. Let me print it, maybe it is still available."

Chris prints the notice and hands it to me. I scan it again; 'the cottage is larger than mine, and the rear of the house faces the cliffs like Louisa's cottage deck and she loves sitting outside on the deck looking out over the harbor. We could enjoy sitting in our private garden each evening together'.

"It is something to think about, but Mart talk to her first, before you do anything else."

"I will and thank you, I need to head over to meet Louisa for her appointment."

I stand, shake my friend's hand and head to the lifts. Departing the lift, I join the crowd on the main floor of the hospital, and using my long legs I quickly get around the slow movers and head out the door to the other wing. Checking my watch, I see it is too early for Louisa to have arrived, so I decide to wait outside to escort her into the building. Minutes later, I see Auntie Joan's truck, and walk to the kerb to help Louisa out.

"Joan thank you so much for the ride."

"Thank you Auntie Joan for your help today." Louisa and I turn to the hospital and walk towards the clinic hand in hand.

Joan is stunned to see Martin is displaying affection in public, shaking her head, 'Never thought I see the day. Good for him.'

I wait in the reception area as Louisa is weighed, measured and blood is taken; she is on her way to provide a urine specimen when Doctor Rawle steps out of his office. He and I are talking when Louisa reappears. Doctor Rawle waves his hand towards his office for her to enter.

"Louisa are you having any problems I need to know about? Most things look good, but I did notice your ankles are swollen; let me see your hands."

Louisa shows him her puffy hands and can see he isn't happy.

"You are working, correct?"

"Yes."

"How many days and for how many hours each day?"

"Five full days, with some longer than the usual. However, I do sit some of the day at my desk to do the administrative paperwork required. I only teach one class each day and I started sitting on a stool while I teach when I can."

"Starting now you need to work three days with a day in between to rest or half days only and no standing at all while teaching. Your blood pressure is elevated. I want Martin to take your BP each morning; if he is satisfied then you can go to work. Louisa I do not want to put you on bed rest, but I will if your BP does not come down. How is your salt intake?"

"Martin ensures I eat optimally nutritious meals every day to include the lunch he packs for me to take to school." She smiles over to Martin. "I will call the Governors tonight and work something out with them on my reduced schedule. My baby is what is important."

"Louisa it is not just your baby I'm worried about, your long term health is just as important. Martin told me you are working on your labor classes and doing your exercises faithfully, that is good because they will help with your BP and your swelling. I will see you next week; you are now on weekly appointments till the birth."

I help Louisa out her chair and we leave together holding hands. 'Martin started this handholding about two weeks ago, not sure why but it definitely is a change' Louisa surmises.

"Louisa it is early; are there any errands we need to run before we go to the restaurant?"

"You wouldn't want to go shopping for baby items; Joan said she would be happy to drive me this weekend."

"Why wouldn't I want to shop for my child? We will need a car seat to bring the baby home in, so we can look at those. Have you thought of a cot or a bassinet? I haven't seen any of those baby items in the spare room. This is my baby too; you do not need Joan to take you. Now where is the store located?"

"It is a few blocks towards the center of town," she says as she leans over to kiss my cheek.

However, thinking to herself, 'this should be interesting'.

I help her into the Lexus; ensuring the lap belt is lying correctly across her lap. I start the engine; pulling out of the carpark heading towards the center of town. Louisa points out the streets to turn onto until I can see the building signage reading "Jojo Maman Bebe". I pull into the closest spot I can to the store, hurrying around to help Louisa out; I take her hand, leading us to the store. Opening the door, my surprised expression at the amount of color everywhere makes Louisa smile.

I can see the lay out of the store with clothing to the left, furniture to the right and transportation in front of me; "What is on your list?" hoping to buy what is needed and then get Louisa off her feet.

"Clothes, blankets, towels, bibs all the usual stuff for babies to wear or use; as you said a cot and maybe a changing table. I was looking at prams online and I am borrowing a car seat from a friend."

My nose wrinkles with the thought of my child sitting in a used car seat. 'That is not happening.'

"Let's start with baby clothing and work our way across the store," I suggest.

We walk over to the clothing department; Louisa is beside herself, touching all the different fabrics, but knowing exactly what she can afford continues looking. She walks over to the clearance table and sales tables to start picking out clothing. I stare trying to figure out why she left the clothing that brought a smile to her face.

"Louisa … umm … why don't you select these things, the quality is better than those."

"I can't afford those and the baby will outgrow the clothes quickly, so it is not worth the money."

"What do you mean you can't afford these? I am buying, this is my child too."

"Martin, I don't expect you to, that is not why I came back from London to Portwenn, to make you pay."

I pull Louisa aside from other customers having a sneaking suspicion she has heard some of the gossip,

"Louisa, I want to care for you and this baby," I say as I touch her belly. We are partners, together in everything with it. Our child will not be neglected in any way. Now you may buy some less expensive items if you wish, but we will go back over there and pick out clothing of better quality. I saw your face light up as you looked through them and I want that smile back on your face when you see our child wearing that clothing."

Louisa leans up kisses my cheek. "I have never depended on anyone for anything. I am sorry Martin; I didn't realize that it would make any difference to you what our child wore."

She walks over picking up the items she put down due to the cost and added more of them; a store clerk comes over to assist her in her selections. I touch her arm to claim her attention, to say I would return, as I want to look at car seats. Walking away I smile, just seeing Louisa happy makes me happy.

I search for the car seats in the transportation area of the store, pulling out my phone to google search, which will be best for my car and the ratings. A few minutes later, I make my choice and put the box into a trolley to push over to the prams section. I am surprised at the different types, with and without accessories, and colors. 'What ever happen to black?' A clerk walks up, asks if I need any help,

"No, I will let my partner help me decide," I reply.

I push the trolley around to find Louisa, but she is not where I left her. Using my height to my advantage, I discover her beyond the racks of clothing, a few rows down and over. Walking up to her and the clerk, I am in awe of her choices; my idea of clothing is plain and simple. 'Why do they have to have animals and stripes on them, just solid colors are the best.' However, I have learned to keep my mouth shut, every piece of clothing is presentable unlike the clothing I walked by earlier with blood red slashes across the front. Louisa turns to me, smiling; she is beautiful when she smiles.

"I am done here. Oh, I like that car seat, "I believe it will work with the pram I saved up for."

"Then we should go over to find it." I take the stack of clothes, towels and blankets from Louisa and place them in the trolley. I take her hand to lead us to the pram displays.

"Here it is and they have it in the color I wanted, red."

"Why not black?"

"A little color won't hurt and this way if it is a girl it won't be so dull."

I couldn't argue with that. Not being a woman, I am unable to understand that black wouldn't do with either gender. I pick up the box and put it in the trolley.

"Louisa, we need to look at cots now."

Turning the trolley in the direction of the furniture department. We walk around looking at the different styles. I point to one cot that could become a toddler bed as their child grows and it has drawers under to act as a dresser, which I think would be good if I can't convince Louisa to move to a bigger house.

Louisa can't decide, "Can we research a bit and decide later, for now I would like to buy a Moses basket and stand as the baby is sleeping in the same room with us at the beginning."

The clerk points us over to the Moses basket selections, and we make our choice. I push the trolley to check out and pull out my bankcard ignoring the look from Louisa. We check out, bagged, and the clerk puts everything in the trolley and rings for a helper. I take Louisa's hand leading us out the door and over to the car. I unlock and open Louisa's door then pop open the boot for the helper to place the purchases. Closing the boot, I return to ensure Louisa is comfortable and her lap belt is clicked into position.

"Are you ready for dinner?" I ask when I finish starting the car.

"Yes, where are we going?"

"Chris and I ate at a restaurant just down the road from here. It serves nice healthy dishes."

I pull out into traffic, making a few turns toward the river. We come upon a row of smaller buildings hidden near a park. Parking the Lexus near the entrance of the restaurant, I lead Louisa into a quaint little Italian place. I remember that Louisa loves pasta and recall this restaurant cooks healthy choices; she should find something suitable. Seated, Louisa excuses herself to find the toilet. I place our drink orders, and open up the menu as I wait for her. Upon Louisa's return I stand to help her with the chair; she opens her menu and inquires on what looks good.

"My fish lunch meal was good; I thought I would order the lemon basil salmon with whole wheat fettucine with herbs and olive oil."

Louisa looks around to some of the tables around them and back to the menu before deciding.

"That plate over there looks like ravioli and artichokes; I assume it is the artichokes with sun–dried tomatoes selection on the menu, and I can order it with pesto instead of cheese."*

"Yes, sounds good. I ordered sparkling water with lemon for our drinks."

Our server comes over and announces the house specials. I ask if the pesto sauce is commercial made and she explains that it is not but handmade with natural ingredients by her Italian grandmother every day.

After placing the orders, our discussion turns to the next few weeks waiting on the arrival of our baby. I sense that Louisa is upset with Doctor Rawle's order to working less; I decide to ask if she made a decision for her work schedule.

"Louisa, about working … umm …w what decision have you made on your schedule?"

"I am tired by the afternoon, so I will work the mornings. Reschedule my teaching duties with current teachers or, if possible, hire a temporary substitute teacher. I need to call the governors for extra funds if I do that. It is only for a few weeks, I am pretty sure my teachers won't mind the extra work."

"I'm… mm you could teach your days, adjust your time at school to teaching time only in the morning, then come home rest with your feet up for just a couple of hours and do the administrative paperwork. I know how important the headship is to you. If your blood pressure comes down and stays a healthy level, I cannot see why you need to stop working. I will make sure your sodium levels are kept lower to help."

Louisa smiles at me, "thank you and yes that would work." She reaches across the table to take my hand rubbing her thumb across the top. I blush all the way up to the tiptop of my ears, my eyes rounding and softening from her touch. We didn't notice the server and are interrupted by the arrival of our meals, I clear my throat and pick up my fork, and start eating my salmon, while catching short glimpses of Louisa.

Louisa notices the little looks from me, smiles as she takes her first bite; "this tastes wonderful, would you like a taste, Martin?"

I accept the offer and in return offer some salmon, but Louisa declines.

"No thank you, I'm feeling full now with just a few bites. The larger this child grows the less space I have to eat."

"That's to be expected at your gestation age, I can make something at home later to carry you over, if you wish?"

Louisa nods and smiles her approval; 'Martin is definitely taking care of me. How could I ever think we weren't meant to be together? I am so dumb, from day one, he put my health and wellbeing first and his passionate love proves my letter is completely wrong. I did not trust him, I should have talked to him that day; told the dry cleaner to sod off and told Martin of my uneasiness of marriage. Mostly we rushed it, just as Martin wanted to rush into marriage upon my return, but these last months we have learned to communicate. Living together exposed my messy self. We enjoy cooking together; Martin is a good cook, most women would kill for a husband that could cook. I've been told many husbands in this village cannot boil an egg. Martin shares in all household duties, all the while wearing his apron over his suit. These are the little things I love about Martin, why am I so stupid!'

I notice Louisa is quiet, eating but looks sad, 'what did I say?'

"Louisa is anything wrong?"

Louisa comes out of reverie, stares at me and responds,

"No Martin. You were so kind to offer to cook something later that I was just lost in thought of all the lovely everyday chores you do for me."

"I want to take care of you. I did plenty of self-analyzing when you left my cottage on our non-wedding day walking down that hill, up to the evening you appeared at my kitchen door; reading your letter over many times only to realize that we needed to talk. I love you Louisa and I know we rushed into getting married, we should have taken our time to figure out who we were as a couple, not what others believe we are. I had many conversations with myself on how we failed each other. Doctor Hayes has helped me see where I could have done better. I don't talk. I do not understand you sometimes as you say one thing but mean something entirely different. Are all women like that?"

Louisa smiles, "Most women are; it must be our hormones." Her smile grows wider.

"I want to take each day with you and learn to be a better man to you as a partner. I want to be fully involved with our child so I can learn to be a father. I need us to be together because what I have learned these past months is I do not like being alone. The evenings you were gone and I was here alone, to eat dinner, read or work on a clock, then go to bed, well I would rather eat, read, and sleep with you, us together in our cottage."

Tears well up in Louisa's eyes, she reaches for my hand, squeezing it; we look deeply into each other eyes, when the server disturbs us once again.

"May I take your plates and bring dessert?"

I look at Louisa's plate nearly full. "Please put her meal in a box to go, and please bring the check."

I retake Louisa's hand,

"We will continue this conversation at home. Let me step to the toilet, and then while you are freshening up I will take care of the bill."

xXxXx

I pull into the car space next to the surgery, and reach over, gently tap Louisa on the arm.

"Louisa we are home. Give me a moment and I will help you out."

I pop the boot open as I walk over to Louisa's side of the car, holding it open and helping her out of the car. Taking her arm, I help her to the cottage front door and let her in. Returning to the boot for the bags, I decide to leave the boxes for now and return to the cottage. Locking the door behind me, I turn towards the lounge with the purchases. I hear the downstairs toilet flush, water running; I place the bags on the sofa for now. Louisa enters the kitchen from the hall, walks over to the table grabbing her to go box, and places it in the fridge.

"Louisa, you look tired, let's get you up to bed and I'll start your massage."

Louisa is too tired to argue, "But I thought we were going to talk?" She walks towards me and into my arms for a hug.

"We can talk upstairs if you wish as you get ready for bed."

Taking her hand and leading her up the stairs, I step aside allowing Louisa to use the bath first. 'By the looks of her she will be asleep before I'm half done.' Louisa brushes her teeth and washes her face coming out unbuttoning her top. I have removed and hung my jacket and tie, and started to unbutton my shirt. Louisa removes her blouse and skirt, and we each place the dirty clothes in the hamper. I leave her to go brush my teeth and suggest,

"Louisa put your nightie on now, I can work around it"

I come out in just my vest and pants and sure enough, Louisa is sound asleep under the duvet. I turn the light out, crawl into bed beside her; wrapping my arm around her bump, I kiss Louisa's cheek and say good night to them both.

End of Chapter

*Remember I mentioned this is a healthy Italian Restaurant; commercially made pesto sauce is normally high in sodium – about 560mg per serving, but homemade pesto is about 12mg. Here is the following recipe for a low sodium pesto sauce that tastes very good.

Ingredients:

2 cups fresh basil leaves

1/3 cup pine nuts toasted

3 cloves garlic toasted

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/3 cup shredded Swiss cheese dry as you can find. DIY grated is best

1/2 tsp ground pepper

1 tsp lemon juice

1/4 tsp onion powder and cayenne pepper optional (I like mine with the addition of a little onion powder and cayenne pepper to give it a little boost.)

Instructions:

Toast the nuts and garlic for extra deep nutty flavor: In a small dry skillet, toast the nuts and garlic over medium heat, stirring frequently (don't let them burn!), until lightly browned and fragrant, 5 to 7 minutes. Cool in a separate bowl for a few minutes.

To make the pesto, combine the basil, nuts, cheese, garlic, lemon juice, and spices in a food processor. With the machine running, slowly drizzle in the olive oil. Continue until the mixture is well blended but still has some texture.

Taste, and adjust if necessary. Add more cheese if you'd like a cheesier pesto. If desired, you can thin out the pesto with more olive oil.

Enjoy