Hey guys! I hope everyone who celebrates it had a Happy Thanksgiving, and here's looking forward to the Christmas Season! I'm so excited! It's been so hard lately trying to arrange holiday plans and staying with COVID guidelines, but we are making due. I hope everyone is doing their best to stay safe even in these times where we would rather be with all our friends and family. My love goes out to everyone and I know we are all in this together. For now though, let's read some reviews.
American Socialist- Are the tapes going to show Peeta's torture? I think that might be important for them to see.
I'm actually not sure, I haven't considered the idea that the capitol was recording the torture but I'll think about it. It definitely would give them a disturbing insight into his trauma.
A Reader chapter- OMG! Finally, Lily realizesss. LIKE I CAN'T! This is amazing RUEE
Yes oh my god, thank you so much. The whole concept behind this story was to explore how truly disturbing Katniss and Peeta's past was in the eyes of their children, and I'm so happy to be getting into the good stuff.
Daniela Marcelino- Hi there. I had some issues so I was too late to comment on chapter 14 but I just wanna say that I loved it (katniss and peeta were so sweet). I'm glad you got back to the tapes cause thats what I wanna read the most :). I'm glad that Lily is starting to understand the pain that her parents had to go through. Watching all of that the only bright side is that she already knows that they both make it out but it's still grueling. Next comes Rue…
I'm glad you liked it! And yea, I totally agree, in some sick twisted way I really enjoy writing Lily's horrible reactions to the trauma she's writing, and it's good you all like reading it haha.
And now, onto the story!
~Jillian
Xoxo
(Lily's POV)
It took nearly 30 minutes to calm me down. Between Adrian rocking me back and forth and Celia's whispers of comfort, my painful sobs weakened, turning into quiet whimpers. Finally, I dare to open an eye, catching the setting sun through a crack in the curtains. Have we really been here for that long? I let out a tired sigh and force myself to sit up, scooting away from my friends.
"I'm sorry," I say, wiping at the remaining wetness under my eyes.
"You have nothing to apologize for," Celia's hand shoots forward to grab my own, "Anyone in your position would have reacted the exact same way." I meet her gaze and notice the pale blue of her eyes are surrounded in red. She's holding back tears, but just barely. She manages a small smile, rubbing my arm.
"Thanks Celia…" my eyes flick up to Adrian, who's still holding me tightly. He won't meet my eyes, stubbornly looking over my head at the frozen screen. "Adrian? Are you okay?"
"Yea…" Adrian's voice cracks, giving way to his true feelings. I shift uncomfortably, feeling guilty for upsetting my friends. I decide to just grit my teeth and move on.
"I'm gonna text my parents and tell them I'm sleeping at your house Celia, is that okay? We're having a late night." I look to her in question and she nods gently in answer. I quickly send the message, getting the okays from my parents, before crawling back over to the tape player. "Is everyone okay to keep watching?" I ask shakily.
"Okay," Celia mumbles.
"Sure," Adrian shrugs.
Seems like everyone's in the talking mood. I roll back my tense shoulders as I press play and make my way back to my spot. God why do I put myself in these situations? I really should invest in some waterproof mascara. I rest my head on Celia's shoulder, offering her a small, reassuring smile as she wraps an arm around me.
The tape cuts to the aftermath of the tracker jacker attack. The career pack, save for Glimmer, Marina, and Peeta, look miserable. Each of their many stings is painfully swollen and have grown to the size of plums. I notice that they haven't even pulled out the stings, I wonder if that would help or cause even more damage.
Katniss is unconscious somewhere in the woods, and my only comfort about her vulnerable state is that at least she's practically hidden.
The only dramatic part of that day in the games is watching poor Peeta stumble painfully through the woods and over rocks, eventually finding a spot next to a stream. Anyone with working eyes can see how much pain he's in, barely even having the energy to let out any more agonizing groans.
I watch confused as he begins to dig through the mud, smearing the nearly black material over his arms.
"What's he doing?" Adrian speaks up, voice seemingly back to normal.
"I don't know," I sit up straight, watching closer as Peeta begins to slide his legs into the dug out strip of mud, hissing as moves his damaged leg. The minutes tick by as Peeta continually covers himself in the mud. Until I finally see it, and all I can do is watch, stunned.
"Oh wow," Celia says bluntly, and I have to nod in agreement. Peeta is grasping at moss and other greenery, as well as swirling the mud into natural patterns over himself. The camera takes in the entire transformation as Peeta disappears into the mud and moss. Wow indeed.
"I mean I knew your dad was talented, what with his cakes and the art I've seen around the house, but this is amazing," Adrian remarks, "he's just gone! That's crazy." I smile proudly. For all of Peeta's missteps so far in the Games, I'm glad he's able to show his skill and protect himself.
The next hour or so is pretty boring, covering the next two days in the Arena. Peeta isn't getting any better and Katniss remains asleep. I was surprised to see that Rue shows up every once in a while to place some kind of leaf on Katniss' stings. Paired with a bit of saliva, the leaves act in a medicinal way, drawing out the poison.
When day breaks on the third day since the tracker jacker attack Katniss finally wakes up. She lays on the ground in a haze of confusion and weariness. I don't want to think about the hallucinations she's endured from the venom.
Katniss goes through a small routine while lost in thought, and I can't help but wonder what she's thinking so hard about. But at the same time, I'm sure anyone would need some time to process things while in the Games. Katniss hydrates herself with some water from a stream and even manages to shoot a bird and begin to cook it. Her survival skills are seemingly never-ending, and I'm surprised by how she knows so much for her age.
Suddenly, a twig snaps, and everyone on screen and in the room is alert and searching rapidly with their eyes for the source. The camera pans to the section of woods in front of Katniss, but I don't see anyone or anything. But apparently Katniss does, as a smile graces her face and she relaxes her body.
"You know, they're not the only ones who can form alliances," she blurts out before she can stop herself.
For a second there's nothing, until, "You want me for an ally?" The soft tone of the voice, coupled with the innocent question allows me to recognize it almost immediately. Of course it's Rue, who else could hide so easily?
Katniss is able to lure Rue out of hiding with the promise of some meat, which Rue glances at hungrily. They chat for a long time, Katniss asking about Rue's home district, Eleven, and Rue offering to treat Katniss' stings a bit more.
Eventually, the conversation lands on a pair of glasses in Katniss' gear, which Rue tells Katniss are made to see in the dark not in the light.
"Oh awesome, night vision goggles!" Adrian exclaims, and I have to roll my eyes.
"Oh my god Adrian, you are such a boy." I say, giggling with Celia.
"Is that supposed to be an insult," Adrian puffs out his chest exaggeratedly, causing Celia to lightly shove him away from us, openly laughing.
Their topic of conversation shifts and catches my attention. The anthem has just started and they're talking about Peeta.
"You know the boy from my district? Peeta? I think he saved my life. But he was with the careers." It's evident that Katniss has been thinking about him for a while. I'm sure it was confusing to think that the person who you once thought of as a traitor was actually helping you. I guess it really wasn't planned out as I had thought originally, she really was caught off guard by Peeta's presence with the careers.
"He's not with them," Rue says, "I've spied on their base camp by the lake. They made it back before they collapsed from the stingers. But he's not there. Maybe he did save you and had to run."
We all know what Rue's saying is true, but Katniss is still so hesitant to accept it as truth. Trust issues.
Katniss swallows slowly, taking a second to process her thoughts, "If he did, it was all probably part of his act. You know, to make people think he's in love with me."
My friends look at me, sensing how uncomfortable I am. It's not every day you hear the girl who will eventually become your mother dismissing the love the boy who will become your father has for her...if that makes sense. Whatever, it's just weird that there was a time they weren't in love.
"Oh, I didn't think that was an act," Rue says genuinely.
Katniss is dismissive, "Course it is, he worked it out with our mentor." Just as the anthem ends, I glance at Rue's face, illuminated by the sky. She looks just as disbelieving about Peeta's love being an act as I feel.
Rue and Katniss get along really well. It's almost funny how they go from talking about boys to how they're gonna survive.
"You can feed yourself. Can they?" Katniss asks, talking about Rue's strengths as a tribute.
Rue huffs, "They don't need to. They have all those supplies."
"Say they didn't," Katniss replies, mind turning in thought, "Say the supplies were gone. How long would they last? I mean, it's the Hunger Games, right?"
"But, Katniss, they're not hungry," Rue says, addressing the main point.
"No, they're not. That's the problem," Katniss answers.
Katniss has a face on that I intuitively recognize, her planning face. Whether coming up with prank ideas on Peeta or Kaden, or even just trying to plan a small event for one of us, she loves to get mischievous. And I have a feeling we are about to see that particular area of expertise nice and close.
"I think we're going to have to fix that, Rue."
I can't stop my grin.
(Katniss' POV)
"I'm surprised Lily's decided to sleep over at Celia's, I was worried they were drifting," Peeta mentions offhandedly. We're both sitting in his painting room, him painting, obviously, and me by the window writing a bit about district 12 before the revolution. It's a new project I've been working on lately, something solid I can give to Lily, and eventually Kaden, so they can better understand the history of their home and their parents.
"I was thinking the same thing. After all of that drama with Adrian, I was worried it would push them apart." I say, meeting his eyes over my writing. I know a thing or true about how drawing dealing with things like love can be, especially when it gets in the way of other things that take priority at the time. Like keeping your loved ones alive or dealing with new crazy information about your parents past.
Peeta nods in agreement, "Boy drama, you know that well huh?"
I roll my eyes at his teasing comment, "Oh whatever, I had a lot more on my mind besides boys back then. Remember the revolution?" I smile. I know he's just playing, Peeta's too self-deprecating to think I was too caught up in crushes to focus on keeping my loved ones alive.
"Anyway, how's the writing going? Capturing all the magic of old district 12?" He remarks, quirking an eyebrow.
"Oh yea, starving children on every porch and the mine blowing up constantly. Really created a happy atmosphere," I snarl, causing Peeta to chuckle darkly. Not even our sarcasm can completely cover up the remaining resentment we feel towards the Capitol's treatment of our home. It's hard not to slip into the headspace of that eleven-year-old girl who only got a month's worth of food after her father had been blown to dust, then practically ignored until she was used for sport. And I'm sure Peeta feels the same.
"Don't miss that. How are you doing by the way? With everything going on I wanna make sure that your nightmares haven't gotten worse or something." Peeta asks gently, tucking a short curl behind his ear.
"Well aside from my usual routine of waking you up practically every night, I can't say anything has changed drastically. I mean, I've definitely been more on edge but I'm trying my best to ease off you know?" He nods in agreement, I could feel how tense his body has become over the last few weeks. "Like right now, if she had told me she wasn't coming home for the night when she had first found out, I would be panicking! But look at us, we trust her. We aren't panicking. I'm proud of us."
Peeta's face morphs into it's usual smile, lightning up the room, "I'm proud of us too."
I decide to change the subject, "How's the bakery doing?"
"Good! Harvest day sales are coming in, really great for business, as you know," Peeta puts his brush down enthusiastically, "it makes me so happy to see families of all kinds coming in for pastries and cookies and cakes. That didn't really happen when I was a kid. It was mostly townies or Capitol visitors, and you of course," he smirks, making me blush. "But now, girls with dark hair and skin are walking out with cookies and male lovers can order wedding cakes from me. Before, with my mother, she never allowed it." His tone shifts, becoming a bit sadder and even irritated. I don't blame him, from the few interactions I had with his mother, it was easy to see how prejudiced she was, I can only imagine how freely she talked in her home.
"You've helped bring joy back into the district Peeta, you should be happy about it." I get up from my seat and plant a kiss on his lips, smiling. That kiss of course turns into another and then another, and before I know it I'm in his lap, straddling him.
"Carried away much?" He teases, playing with my hair.
I scoff, hitting his chest lightly, "Whatever, it takes two-"
"Don't I know it," he whispers, leaning in to claim another kiss. Forcing myself away, I turn to his unfinished painting.
"What's it gonna be?" I ask, having only the base colors as clues.
"The meadow, specifically that picnic we went on for Kaden's first birthday." I practically melt at this response. That memory is one of my most treasured, I highly doubt either of my children remember the event in question, but for Peeta and I, it's something we could never forget. Not to say the picnic was exciting or off the walls, it wasn't. And that is why it was so perfect. Just the boy I loved and my two perfect children, plus some delicious food. Lily and Kaden played in the field, as much as a one-year-old and a three-year-old can play anyway, while Peeta and I shared Strawberry flavored kisses and basked in the late summer sun. I had never felt such peace and contentment before, so much so that the feeling has stayed with me, as has the memory. And apparently for Peeta too.
"I love that memory," I say bluntly, leaning back into Peeta's chest.
"Me too," he sighs, "I wish we could go back to when it was that easy."
"Look on the bright side," I joke, "at least we don't have to change any diapers."
(Lily's POV)
Katniss wakes up to the sound of a cannon firing. For a moment I irrationally think it's for Peeta, before remembering that I exist. Rue's perched on a branch across from Katniss and the pair of them theorize as to who died but neither can remember exactly who's leftover.
They each bring a bit of food to the metaphorical table, ironically showing off their individual strengths. Rue swipes a pair of bird eggs from a nest while Katniss uses her bow for some fresh meat. That's when the good stuff happens.
Rue and Katniss have come up with a plan. A very interesting plan that I pray works because I really want to see these careers get their ass handed to them. Then they can finally move on and find Peeta! Perfect plan.
I shove the invasive knowledge that Rue has to die to the back of my head. Think happy thoughts, maybe if I just ask like it won't happen, then it won't happen right? Oh god, I'm going insane.
Their goodbye tugs at my heart, and that invasive thought pops up again.
"That poor girl is gonna die, isn't she?" Celia asks sullenly. I answer with a single nod, myself reluctant to voice the fact. "Crap."
It's a knee jerk reaction to snicker at Celia's use of a swear, and even in a situation as intense as this, I can't help myself. And apparently, neither can Adrian, who lets out a quiet laugh.
"Better watch the language, Celia," He scolds teasingly, as I click my tongue in a 'tsk tsk'.
But we can't distract ourselves for too long, because before we know it, Rue is hugging Katniss goodbye, and then they are on their own.
The camera focuses on Katniss' part of the plan, for the most part, her having the most "exciting job" from an audience's point of view. I guess blowing up supplies may be a bit more fascinating than setting unusually smoky fires, so I get it. We watch as Katniss takes her post, hidden on the outskirts on the field in a bush. The careers have made the cornucopia their camp, and they've definitely gotten comfortable. In front of their set up lies a pile of supplies, probably about 15 feet high. But what really catches my attention, as well as Katniss', is the dirt patterns surrounding the supplies. Where the tribute platforms lie, a whole has been dug out next to each of them, and more dirt has been overturned in many sports surrounding the pile.
Katniss waits for a while, for someone or something. Finally, she sees it, and so do the careers. The smoke of a fire, set purposefully by Rue. The careers begin to arm themselves immediately. Suddenly, but unsurprisingly, an argument breaks out in the group, this time over the boy from district three that's with them for some reason.
"He's coming. We need him in the woods, and his jobs done here anyway. No one can touch those supplies." Cato says gruffly.
"Oh so they're using the district three boy, that makes sense." I think out loud, "He must have set up a trap or something to protect their supplies. District three is known for technology after all."
"Oh definitely," Adrian agrees, "no way they would keep three around if they couldn't take advantage of him."
"What about lover boy?" asks Marvel, once again irritating Cato.
"I keep telling you, forget about him. I know where I cut him. It's a miracle he hasn't bled to death yet. At any rate, he's in no shape to raid us." The confirmation of how serious Peeta's injury is no help to my once again churning stomach, and it looks to slightly upset Katniss as well.
"Come on," Cato forces a spear into the hands of the district three boy, "When we find her, I kill her in my own way, and no one interferes." And then they are off into the woods.
I really need to get a stronger stomach to be able to constantly handle mentions of my parents' planned or possible deaths. There's only so much bile to swallow back down.
Katniss takes another minute to collect herself before tensing up. Just as I think she's about to make a run for it, another body does. It's Finch, the redheaded girl from district 7, who Katniss calls Foxface. She leaps and skips around the dug up dirt, as graceful as a wild animal. That is until she stumbles slightly and lets out a squeak of fear. At that moment, I see it all come together in Katniss's brain and in mine as well.
The District three boy has moved the bombs under the tribute platforms to surround the supplies, rigged to go off if any other tributes attempt to steal. But it seems Finch has discovered this a while ago, as she easily makes her way to the base of the pile, grabs a few things, and is back in the woods in less than a minute.
I watch as this new discovery dawns on Katniss, I can practically see the wheels turning in her mind. She moves suddenly, mind made up, stringing an arrow on her bow.
"Uh, what's she doing?" Adrian asks, genuinely confused. I wonder if he's had the same realization as Katniss and I.
"District three planted bombs around the supplies, she's gonna try and set them off." I summarize with a smirk.
"Oh shit."
Katniss releases the arrow, and it skims a bag of apples, tearing it slightly. Come on Katniss, come on Katniss! Another arrow, a bigger tear, come on you got this, just one more cut.
She breathes slowly and calmly, in and out, before letting her third arrow fly. Everything turns to slow motion. The bag tears open completely, spilling apples down the pile. As soon as the first apple hits the floor, the biggest explosion I've ever seen happens, nearly blowing out the tape players' speakers, I can only imagine how loud it was in real life. But I just watch in shock as Katniss is violently thrown back and doesn't get up.
Xoxo
Hey guys, I know this is shorter than usual but I'll try and make up for it next time. Anyway I hope you still enjoyed it, and make sure to leave a review telling me what you think and follow to keep up with updates. The next chapter should be up on December 12th!