/Hello All. Thanks for keeping up, double thanks for not overloading me with unhelpful reviews...A real review makes a difference. I've been having health, future planning, and personal issues in the last months. But onward. With hearts to my readers./

Chapter 7: Concoctions

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Running up that Hill Kate Bush

''Unaware I'm tearing you asunder./Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts./Is there so much hate for the ones we love?/Tell me, we both matter, don't we?/You, it's you and me./It's you and me- won't be unhappy."

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Sarah smeared the tester pot of the primer salve with forefinger, onto her wrist. Its murky cream color lightened by the lavender scent. She disliked lavender in large amounts. It reminded her of her former roommate and close friend. "Yeah, no", a voice in her head clicked, "that was eons ago, Williams. Get over the crap, 'cus therapy should have helped."

Wasting the product on herself was not acceptable either. Her pierced co-worker worked with a label-maker program in the computer in the back. The uptick in customer demand seemed uncertain as of late, but it was steady enough to gather her and her acquaintances' wages.

Sarah and her male worker had a set schedule of part time consistent hours, open except Sunday and Monday. He was a freelance IT help person as well, so he had inherently more to do elsewhere. And inherently more money.

Sera by default kept different hours, and made sure not to endanger the workers closing or opening with too much liability. Both Sarah and Raven had store as well as back room keys on a check-out cycle. Consistency was the name of the game, thankfully.

The day for Sarah was a blur, thanks to her mind firing full speed. She startled awake sometime around four-thirty to the sound of Karen and ROBERT arguing.

"Karen Irene...you're a stick in the mud!"

Sarah knew her father only used her name when he was upset or joking.

"Oh. Blame it on the lady who does EVERYTHING for this house!"

"Of course, but you realize I have a full-time job-"

"...and I DON'T?"

"You're at home, Karen! "

Sarah jumped from bed to slyly open the door.

"That was MY sacrifice to make, not yours, obviously. I chose the-"

Robert interrupted, "Chose the life of what? Now you're unhappy?"

"...I said I chose the children's lives! " Karen's voice shuddered. Silence. Dishes clattered into the metal sink.

"I did too." His voice broke. "I work, because I love you. My family. Karen...just...have a good day." Stomping and a door slam.

Sarah padded down the stairs and nearly missed a beat onto the slippery floor. Into the kitchen, where a sobbing Karen stood, back to the sink, sobbing into her wrist. Sarah quietly moved closer.

"Karen, hey, are you...uh, feeling okay?" Sarah kicked herself for the dumb question. Karen wiped eyes into her wrist and snuffled, looked at the brunette.

"-I had a... your dad. Disagreement."

The brunette nodded, unsure how to open the topic. "Is it any of my business?"

Karen sighed and walked to a chair. "Well, uh, not all of it." She blinked and sat adjacent to the groggy Sarah. "You deserve to know. Sit. Please."

Sarah frowned, nodded. Sat in the kitchen chair.

Karen continued. " Toby was...being bullied in school. The administrator just brushed it off, after I went to his teacher. She acted as if it was MY fault," Karen gasped and wiped her eyes. "Like it was my fault, as a parent, that his grades were dropping."

"So she was passive-aggressive?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Dismissive. Classic, they don't care."

Silence again. Karen looked disheveled, she hadn't gotten ready for the day. As if she got little sleep.

"Did Toby tell you it happened?"

"I knew. He came home a few times... just quiet. One of his notebooks went missing, after I asked where he put it. He exploded. Said he left it in the locker. They don't have lockers at school. His food was uneaten...little things."

"-I know you try hard to be there for Toby."

"Try hard? I AM there for Toby,"

Sarah sensed adelicate topic. It pushed some old buttons in her mind, but she had to try to connect. "That's what I mean. He's your world. And I know it... kills you to see him hurt."

Karen snuffled. Played with a sticker from an apple on the counter. Quiet. Then she spoke. "I'm so sorry. Sarah."

"Sorry, to me? I don't..."

"I'm sorry, I...you feel like I've put you second to everything."

It was Sarah's turn to well up in tears. Karen gently touched Sarah's bed-head over the space. Brought her hand back, into a fold. "I was there for you, but I was never...really...there as a parent. I was so cruel to you. I ignored. Avoided your problems. I complained for months, when you were just being a teen."

Sarah nodded, remembering.

"I made you feel like you couldn't confide. I was present, but never involved completely. I-I don't know how you survived your step-mother," Karen sobbed and let her head drop onto her arms.

Sarah did not know how to fully process the confession. Therapy in college, self-help, blended families, parental disregard... didn't prepare her for this.

Gotta start somewhere. "Karen. You can't…" Sarah wiped a tear. "You can't change then. Now is what we have." Sarah took a breath. "I see now. I know that you are my step mom, but more of a mom to me than anyone else. Really. "

Karen looked at Sarah with mild confusion. "...don't try to make me feel like a saint."

Sarah shook her head. "No. I mean, as an adult now. I see you were the parent. You always made due. You made things work. You always showed up."

"Sarah." Karen tried to steel herself. "You were so quiet, because I made you feel like you couldn't talk with me."

Sarah looked away, trying not to internalise her teen years. "But is that the truth now?"

"I owe you such an apology. You needed affection. Not just from...your dad. From me. I ignored you Sarah. As a mom." Sarah welled up in tears again. Karen rose, getting tissues, and brought some for Sarah after using one.

The younger smiled, goopy tears and all. "I accept your apology. " Sniffles. "And...Thank you. I mean it."

Karen nodded, "I want you to see me as a mom. Not just as 'the' stepmother. I'll never replace Linda. But I want you to know,"

Sarah tried to block the fading image of her actress of a mother. Nodded.

"You are NEVER second best, Sarah. You're a clever, sensitive person. I wish I had been like you- instead of letting my feelings rule my whole life."

Sarah remained quiet.

"I need to be there for you. Like I am there for Toby." Karen's voice projected, true to her personality. Her tone became less shaky, "I am not embarrassed by you living here. I love the help and Toby needs big sis. You're not a maid, or a half-sibling. You're Sarah Williams, my daughter, and my husband's child. "

Sarah felt happiness, relief, and...unsettled. Karen spoke again. "Thank you. For being honest, and for your empathy." Sarah watched Karen as she rose to fill and heat the water-kettle. Comfortable quiet balanced kitchen noises.

"Tea, or hot chocolate?" Karen asked. Sarah cleared her throat.

"Please, uh, black tea with two scoops of sugar." She needed the sweet.

"I know it's too early, I should let you sleep," Sarah felt the urge to run back into bed. But kicked it back. Why? She didn't know.

"This is probably too much info, but," Karen began. "Since I need to tell you as an adult. My ex-husband..." She breathed. "Just sent a letter inviting me to a day time wedding cruise," Sarah gawked at Karen for a moment. "He was eons ago, right?"

Karen looked into her eyes. Scoffed. "Decades. A few years after you were born. We separated and got the proceedings final. It was tough, I was a wreck. Done with him."

"The cruise. Is...it a boundaries issue?" The green-eyed gal tried a clinical approach.

The yellow blonde cocked her head. Blinked. "Yes. Thanks for putting it in words." A rare Karen smirk. "That's part of it. The invite just came in and the damn event is next month! It even has a picture of my ex-husband."

Sarah balked. "But I thought it isn't an issue, for dad. I'd tell the ex to get lost, blow it out his ass,"

Karen burst and laughed a few times. "I want to, I agree,"

"...'want' ? Not 'will' ?"

Karen tried to remain serious. "Your father read the invite after I opened it this morning, and looked like he'd cry. I haven't seen him like that in a long time. The picture is of my ex, and Linda. Together."

Sarah nearly peed herself.

She quickly excused and ran to the bathroom. She returned to Karen, with two mugs, looking remorseful at the window as the sky remained dark. The blonde spoke, "Please, have your tea. It's still hot." Sarah sat with the mug. It smelled malty and just sweet. Karen slid the letter am image to Sarah.

"Sarah, I- never thought it would be that way. Ever." She shook her head. "We. Myself and your dad. We're just floored."

The green-eyed girl had no idea where to begin. Tried to drink. The older couple looked perfect and affluent in their boho chic portrait. Looking at Linda was like looking at an apparition. She was nothing like her memory... hair, makeup, all vague and new. And the same. "Uh. Maybe just tell them no, wish them luck."

Karen nodded and sighed again. "That's the correct response. But I, morbid as ever, want to go just to see how successful he thinks he is, and see the famous Linda too,"

/Why Linda, what'd she ever.../ Sarah almost let her feelings free. But it wasn't her story to tell.

"How many invites?"

"Two, must be twenty-one and older. RSVP required before the end of this month."

"You both could go?"

"Well...see. I think Robert would not go because Linda is still a bitter thought. And he likely resents my ex for the way our relationship had been. He'd never say it out loud, though. He's too grown-up. Poised," she went to place some ice cubes in her tea.

"Don't go, then. Screw them, let them be snobs."

Karen sipped. Seemed to think for a moment. "You're right boss-lady," She winked at Sarah. Walked by Sarah. "Screw 'em." Karen put down her mug, took the invite and details, ripped it. Walked it to the trash. The picture remained on the table, its image remained. The 'Save the Date' glossy theme of pastels and neutrals lay somewhere else among the scraps.

The blonde gupled her tea and cringed. "Gone are my days when I could down drinks right quick."

"Right quick? You mean you got college drunk?"

"I regret that I did. I was drunk in a crush when I first dated my ex." She heaved and wiped a last tear. "I'm going to bed. Wake me if you need a ride to work. If need be. Good morning, boss-lady." Karen put the cup in the sink and left a bewildered Sarah.