A/N: I know, I know. It's been two and a half years. Blame health issues that included two major surgeries, as well as new story ideas that took over the muse, but I'm back! Sorry for the wait everyone. I have future chapters outlined, so this kind of delay shouldn't happen again. Call it Pandemic cabin fever. Heehee. This chapter is SVU centered because some loose ends need to be tied up before both worlds can come together.

A/N: Trigger warning for both the beginning and end of this chapter. Mentions and details regarding rape/sexual assault. Proceed with caution.

"State your name please."

"Serena Benson."

"Tell me what happened."

"I was raped."

Olivia had listened to her mother's statement before. Once when she first found out about Simon just a few weeks ago, and once eight years ago when she was a Rookie Detective in the unit. The squad had caught a case of a man who had been sexually assaulted and murdered on the roof of an apartment building. The original prime suspect, Ray Gunther, turned out to be just one in a family of criminals. It wasn't the first case that made her wonder if bad blood could really be a thing, and it wouldn't be the last. That case though, it turned out to be the brother Jesse who killed the man. He hadn't been on the Detectives' radar, but his family wasn't surprised.

It was in their blood.

Or was it?

While that case was going on, Detective Munch had done some digging into her mother's case, even though she hadn't asked him to. He had zeroed in on a couple of clues and found a potential suspect. Elliot insisted Olivia let him come with her to talk to the man. Even back then he was protective of her. Their first year as partners, the occasional lingering stare or touch would happen, and they both tried to stifle their feelings. The early days of their partnership before things got complicated.

Olivia remembered the disappointment she felt when the man Munch found turned out not to be her father. Before she even went to talk to him, she saw him in the window and just knew. She knew it wasn't him.

So much for finally getting justice for her mother.

She had gone home and listened to her mother's haunting words again herself, wanting to see if she could come up with any answers. She couldn't.

That was in 1999.

When Nina Martin was four years old.

The year her twelve years of terror started.

Olivia tried not to think about the guilt of that weighing on her as she turned her attention back to the tape.

"The a...campus library closed at midnight. I took the shortcut home I always take. It was darker than usual. I was halfway through when something hit me from behind."

"You were knocked unconscious?"

"Yes. When I came to, I was on a landing below street level. There was a man on top of me. He had pushed up my dress and was…"

"Engaging in sexual intercourse?"

Olivia cringed as she listened. It was clear cops had lacked sensitivity training back then. Poor Serena.

Poor Nina.

"Can you describe him?"

"He had sideburns, and...I don't know. Everything looked distorted. His eyes w-were dark. It was like he could see right through me, and...and he was smirking while he…"

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing. I don't remember."

"Which is it, miss? Nothing, or you don't remember?" Jesus this guy was a dick.

"Please I have to stop. Please."

Olivia was torn. Part of her was glad the tape stopped there because listening to her mother's statement was harder than any of the cases she had worked on. Part of her, though, wished there was more. Part of her wished there was something that either incriminated Mr. Martin for certain or debunked her suspicion. Simon had confirmed it, yes, but she was scared to believe it. She would ask for a DNA comparison tomorrow.

Then, as much as it terrified her, she would tell Elliot everything.

The sound of the door being opened and shut nearly made her jump out of her skin. She hadn't realized how intently she'd been listening to her mother recount the worst night of her life, but the fact that she briefly thought she saw their current prime suspect in her peripheral vision made her wonder if this case was making her lose her mind.

She breathed a visible sigh of relief when she realized it was just Elliot.

"You okay? I didn't mean to scare you." Was she okay? That was the most loaded question ever.

"I'm fine, El. I promise," Her smile didn't reach her eyes. His worried gaze left hers and moved to the counter.

"You didn't take your vitamins," Oh shit. His tone, however, wasn't accusatory. It was more like he was simply stating a fact.

"I-I meant to take them. I'm sorry." His concern deepened when he saw tear tracks on her cheeks. He sat down beside her, and she noted that despite their fight earlier he no longer sounded frustrated with her.

"Olivia," His voice was calm, regretful. "I'm sorry about what happened in the car earlier. I didn't handle that situation the way I should have. I was scared and worried, but I should know better than to push you into talking to me about something that is bothering you. I was being selfish, and I never should've brought our daughter into it, or accused you of not trusting me, or any of that. I'm sorry."

"El-" Why the hell was he apologizing to her? It should be the other way around.

"Please let me finish?" He noticed the open folder on the coffee table, and recognized it as her mother's case file. He considered that it might be the cause of her current tears, but that didn't explain what had happened earlier. "I love you, and I think you are amazing at the job. I do," He paused to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek. "Sometimes I feel like you push yourself too hard because you think you need to prove yourself, and that scares me. I can't bear the thought of something happening to you. I would never forgive myself if I could have done something to prevent it. The other day...in the interrogation room, I-" His voice cracked. "I felt like my whole world was in shambles. I prayed that night, harder than I have in my life, that you and our baby would be okay. Then the next day I went to the hospital chapel and prayed again. I didn't know what else to do."

"Elliot I-" Hearing him sniffle cut off whatever words she was going to try to choke out.

"I know you are hurting. I'm not sure what it is. I don't know if it has to do with the case, or Simon, or your mother, or what. It...it scares me because for the second time this week I feel like you're in a situation I can't protect you from. That's the worst feeling in the world, Olivia. When you can't protect someone you love? It's...soul-crushing. I shouldn't have made it about me in the car, and I'm sorry, but I'm begging you not to shut me out. You don't have to talk to me tonight, but I just...I want to be able to fix what's bothering you. I want to help you, not because I think you are weak, or needy, or can't take care of yourself. I want to help you because you are my better half. You're a part of me. I love you and I know you'd do the same for me. Please, honey, please tell me what to do."

"I'm not trying to shut you out," Her lip trembled. "I hate myself for the things I said to you and I'm..I'm s-sorry."

"Shhh, it's alright. It's forgiven."

"El-"

"It's alright," He soothed and was beyond grateful when she leaned into his outstretched arms, allowing him to hold her. "Whatever this is we're gonna get through it, you and I. I promise you." He cradled her in his lap, rocking her as she cried against him. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer, but I just want to ask."

"Ok."

"Can you tell me why you aren't ready to talk about it yet?"

"Because I need to know for sure. I need to make sure I'm right about this before I pursue it." Alarm bells went off in Elliot's mind. Pursue it? Like a case? Had something more sinister happened in that interrogation room? Had it triggered a memory of a previous assault he had never heard about? They'd seen this hundreds of times. Victims of abuse, of rape, that seemed withdrawn, had issues with their appetite, were hypervigilant and jumped at the slightest noises.

He felt sick.

Luckily, she was able to read him as much as he was able to read her.

"I wasn't raped, El," But she wished it could have been her instead of her mother. She wished it could have been her instead of Nina. She had been an innocent casualty all because Olivia looked for the wrong man in 1999.

"W-were you-"

"I wasn't assaulted either, sexually anyway." He sobbed in relief.

"Oh, thank God. I thought. It's so easy to think the worst when you work this job."

"I'm sorry I made you worry. I wasn't hurt. I found out something and I just want to make sure it's true first. I'm gonna do that tomorrow and then I will tell you."

"Please don't apologize to me, Olivia. Please just tell me what I can do to help you feel better. I'll do anything you need."

"Being in your arms helps."

"Good," He kissed the top of her head. "What else?"

"I'm not ready to tell you why yet, but to confirm what I need to confirm I need to go to the M.E's office. You can drive me tomorrow." He was puzzled, but didn't push her.

"Okay. Thank you," They held each other in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Can I make you some tea so you can take your vitamins?" She laughed at his overprotectiveness, but after the emotional day she'd had, tea sounded wonderful.

"Yes you can. El?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you too. More than you'll ever know," They shared a smile, and this time it was one that reached their eyes.

They hadn't broken.

They were going to be okay.

For now.

X

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you?" Elliot parked in front of the medical examiner, Dr. Melinda Warner's office. "Because I promise not to ask questions if I do."

"I need to do this part alone, but why don't you get us some breakfast?" Elliot's face brightened at those words. If she was feeling hungry she must be feeling better than she was yesterday.

"Okay. Any requests?"

"Cinnamon French Toast with raspberry syrup, scrambled eggs, bacon, a buttermilk biscuit and a donut," Elliot kissed her sweetly. He made a mental note to order the same thing, knowing that she would likely eat most of his breakfast too.

"Anything for my girls," She kissed him again before exiting the car and heading inside.

X

"Olivia, you're back at work already?" Dr. Warner asked when the Detective came into her office with two evidence bags.

"I'm on desk duty until the baby is born. This uh...this isn't for a case though. Not officially. It's a personal favor."

"The last time you asked me to run and compare DNA for you as a personal favor you wouldn't tell me who it was for. You know I have to ask-"

"It's better that you don't know," Olivia hated keeping secrets from her friend, but she didn't want their jobs to be at risk either. "If you're not comfortable doing this I can ask someone else-" She shook her head.

"I'll do it. Can I ask if Elliot knows?"

"He will."

"I understand why you don't want me to know, but he's your partner and the father of your baby. If there's anyone that should know it should be him."

"I know. I will tell him, but I have to be sure first," Thankfully, Melinda didn't ask her to elaborate on that.

"Alright. I'll try and have the results for you by the end of the day."

"Thank you," She dropped the items on the table and left. Both thankful to be a step closer to getting answers and nervous about what it might confirm.

X

As Elliot expected, Olivia ate half of his breakfast in addition to her own. She reminded him again that he was the reason she was having cravings in the first place, so she was entitled to his food. He chuckled and told her she could have anything she wanted as long as it made her happy. She was his Queen. He would have called her his Princess, but he had a feeling that would get him a kick to the balls. They were equals in every way that mattered.

When they got to the squad room, Fin and Munch welcomed her back by putting their paperwork on her desk. She groaned. Being on desk duty really meant paperwork duty. Since her partner and colleagues would be in the field, she would be helping pick up their slack.

She had to admit though, it would be a welcomed distraction from the emotions weighing on her about the discovery she made, and the pending DNA results.

By midafternoon, she had finished the paperwork for the day and placed it on Cragen's desk. Then she sat back down at hers and took a couple of the vitamins that were in her purse, swallowing them down with the tea Elliot had brought her with lunch.

Now that she was done with paperwork she could do some more work on Nina's case. She would research and see what else she could dig up from the stepfather's past to nail him. First, though, she called the hospital for an update on her condition.

She was pleased to hear Nina had woken up briefly, but was knocked out for a few hours after because of the amount of pain she was experiencing. She and Elliot would wait and talk to her once she was fully lucid and comfortable.

While she waited for Melinda to send her the results from the DNA samples she had dropped off that morning, her thoughts turned to another source of tragedy unrelated to the case.

Kathy's marrying Peter, Olivia. She wants an annulment of our marriage and sole custody of our kids. That's why she called the other day.

Olivia didn't consider Kathy a friend, especially after learning she had an affair while she and Elliot were still married. Still, for Elliot's sake, she hated to think that his ex-wife could be any crueler than that.

It made her furious.

It made her furious that a father like Elliot, who loved his kids and would give his life for them, could lose custody while someone like Mr. Martin, who had done the most horrific things one human being could do to another, got to keep his stepdaughter and had gotten away with abusing her for twelve years. The universe had a way of screwing with the wrong people.

It wasn't fucking fair.

She wanted to call Kathy and rip her a new one. Elliot didn't deserve this.

Surely she wouldn't win, right?

Not if Olivia could help it.

She would fight for Elliot to keep his kids as much as she would fight for Mr. Martin to rot in prison.

If Kathy Stabler wanted to deny that she was ever married to the hard-working, fiercely loving and devoted, protective, sexy, strong, big-hearted man Olivia was lucky to call her partner, she could do that. But there was no way in hell she was getting sole custody of the four angels he had given her.

She glared at her phone, trying to resist temptation to call the woman who she found herself hating even more after the latest case the squad was working.

Kathy was damn lucky that Elliot Stabler was the father of her children and not someone like Joe Martin, or Hollister, or whatever the fuck his name was.

Before she could make the call and read her partner's estranged ex-wife the riot act, Melinda walked into the squadroom and wordlessly dropped an envelope on her desk. Thankfully, the Captain was on a phone call in his office, so Olivia could avoid questions for now.

She stared at the envelope for five minutes, unable to bring herself to open it. She moved her gaze to the clock on the wall. The sound of it became deafening and seemed to taunt her.

Open it. It seemed to say.

Open it. 3:06.

Open it. 3:07.

Open it. 3:08, 3:09, 3:10.

She was feeling hungry again. Maybe she'd eat a granola bar first and then open it. After all, she was eating for two now. She could blame her procrastination on that. It was reasonable enough.

Open it. Five minutes became ten, ten became fifteen. She knew Elliot would be back soon. Maybe he could open it.

No, that was ridiculous. She chastised herself. She was the one that asked Melinda to run the DNA. She should be the one to open the results. She huffed in frustration. Her nerves made her hands shake as she opened the flap and pulled out the paper.

Match.

The blood in her veins turned to ice. The word caused her to wonder if it had already been ice and she didn't know it.

Match.

Match.

Match.

She felt sick and quickly went to the bathroom. The contents of the lunch her partner had brought her just a few hours ago almost didn't make it to the toilet.

Her DNA was a familial match to one of the worst perps she had seen in her eight years in the unit.

She wanted to go back to not knowing. She wanted to go back to before she had ever heard of the Martin case. She had always felt like she was damaged goods because of how she was conceived. Putting a name and face with the monster, especially this monster, shook her to her core.

She knew she needed to control her breathing, but she was struggling. It felt like the air had been sucked out of her.

She caught a glance of herself in the mirror and the eyes that stared back to her haunted her like they had in the interrogation room. She felt unsteady on her feet as she walked back to her desk slowly. She needed something to grab onto, but there was nothing.

She felt like she was a wounded animal trapped in a blizzard with no way to return home.

Match.

The list of terrible things that had been added onto her already contaminated genes swirled in her mind.

Rapist, alcoholic, murderer, child abuser, kidnapper, torturer, wife beater-

Child abuser.

If she was the daughter of a man who beat, raped, tortured, starved, and nearly killed his stepdaughter, what did that mean for her daughter?

Olivia wasn't violent, not like her genes would suggest, or was she?

Eric Plummer's gun hadn't been loaded when she shot him.

But he was hardly innocent, her mind reminded her. He had killed three people while stalking her. He had a gun to a woman's head. IAB had ruled it justified. A good shooting. She didn't know the gun wasn't loaded.

She didn't know the gun wasn't loaded.

Cars have problems all the time. That was what the monster she had just confirmed was her father had said to justify his wife's death.

She had become a cop because she thought it was the polar opposite of what her father had been. She became a cop to fight for justice for people like her mother, like Nina.

Joseph Hollister or Martin or whoever he was, worked as a defense attorney.

With that knowledge, could she still say she wasn't violent if he also worked in the legal system?

Besides, being a cop required use of excessive force at times. Being an attorney didn't.

"We got real problems here. The lab just got the full DNA report back."

"Yeah, and?

"And it ain't Ray's." Whispers from that case in 1999 echoed in her mind.

"Mitochondrial only narrows it down to bloodline. So while it's definitely not Ray, you are still looking for somebody from that family."

Like a brother.

Jesse Hansen.

"We know your brother's bad, but you've been clean your whole life. Can you explain that to us?"

He could.

So could she.

"The only way that Jesse makes sense in all this, is that they're fruit of the same poisoned tree," She had told her partner.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" He had responded. She wondered if he would still feel that way now.

But Simon wasn't violent, and he was from the same poisoned tree she was.

Then again, aside from the fact that he'd been framed, she had only known him for a few weeks. How much did she really know about her brother?

How much did she really know about herself?

Was she selfish for wanting to have this baby? For potentially putting her daughter's life at risk because she, like Jesse, could snap one day. She could give into her violent genes.

Surely she wouldn't though, right? She'd hit perps yes, but never victims. Never children.

"Where was Ray?"

"He was...he was still standing in the doorway. He said…'welcome to the family'."

Olivia finally made it back to her desk and sat down, wishing the voices in her head would stop.

"I know a thing or two about you as well O-liv-ia."

"You heard him," The ghost of Elliot's voice interrupted the chilling words the monster spoke in the interrogation room. "Ray was screwing with his brother's mind his whole life. It had nothing to do with blood. What Jesse did happened because Jesse believed it would. You know that, right?"

She did, didn't she?

Before she could ruminate anymore the door opened and her partner walked into the bullpen.

"Liv, you ok? You look pale," He crouched down next to her and placed a hand on her forehead. She struggled to form words. "Are you feeling sick, sweetie?"

"Huh?" She blinked at him.

"You're sweating and your skin is cold. I'm gonna take your temperature okay," She was finally brought out of her trance.

"I don't feel sick, El I just-"

"Is there anything that I can do?" He decided to go that route instead of asking her to talk to him like he had yesterday.

"I don't know."

"I can tell Cragen you're not feeling well and take you home if you want. I can fix you some tea, rub your feet, whatever would make you feel better. Are you in pain?" His tenderness was slowly chipping away at the ice that surrounded her heart. She was again struck by how stupid Kathy had to be to not want a family with this man. "I can get some tylenol."

"I need to tell you something," Rip off the bandaid Olivia. Just rip it off.

"Okay. Do you feel comfortable talking here or do you want me to take you home?"

"No, I...I need to tell you now," He intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Alright. It's okay. Squeeze my hand. I'm right here," She looked into his eyes. His soothing pools of blue were such a contrast from her own dark ones that resembled evil, holding her steady. Like he always had.

"I found the man who raped my mother. He's alive."

"I wondered if it had something to do with your mom's case when I saw you looking through her statement last night. I thought Simon said he was dead."

"I thought he was too. Until the other day."

"You saw him. Did he hurt you?"

Technically yes. She thought.

"You already know who he is, El."

"What do you mean?"

"The other day...I told you the suspect-"

"Martin?"

"I told you he got to me, but not in the way you probably thought,"

"It seems like this case has been bothering you more than others we've had. I assumed it was…" He trailed off before saying anything about pregnancy hormones, deciding now wasn't the time.

"I told you I couldn't elaborate on that. Then everything yesterday happened, and this morning…"

"Olivia," He cut off her rambling. "How did he...get to you?"

"Nina wasn't his first victim."

"I know. Her mother was."

"No she wasn't."

"Wha-"

"El he's...he's done this before," Her voice cracked and Elliot noticed the paper in her hands for the first time. The ghostly white of her face matched whatever it was and he was afraid to ask. Had she been remembering an attack and was too scared to tell him last night?

Her grip on his hand tightened and she swallowed hard, trying to fight off a panic attack. Watching his work partner of eight years, who had recently become his life partner of six months, trembling like a leaf worried him greatly. All professionalism was swept out the window as he cupped her cheek in his hand in the middle of the empty squad room.

"What's the matter, honey?"

"I saw his eyes. I saw my eyes, Elliot. I didn't want to believe it because I thought he was dead. Simon said he was dead. That Joseph Hollister was dead and-" Elliot pulled her into a tight embrace and stroked her hair soothingly.

"Shhh, just breathe for a minute okay? I can't understand what you're trying to tell me. Just breathe for me, Liv," After a few minutes her breathing returned to normal.

"It's him, El. I had Warner run the DNA this morning. It's him. He-he could see right through me and he said 'I know a thing or two about you as well, Olivia'. Nina's stepfather raped my mother. It's him," She held up the paper so he could see it. "That beast who we couldn't find a first name for? The one responsible for one of the worst child abuse cases this city has seen in years?

Is my father."

A/N: Boom! Don't worry, I have six more chapters outlined, so you won't be waiting years until chapter eight. Next chapter I'm merging the shows again in the combined format the first couple of chapters had. Thanks for reading! Sorry again for the long wait.

Also, for the timelines and plotlines to match up, I added a couple of things to Serena's statement. As well as, for a reason I can not yet spoil, Serena has only been dead for a couple of years instead of eight. You'll find out later.

One last thing, for SVU readers, the episodes that inspired this chapter were 'Florida, Bad Blood, Wrath, and there's even a snippet from one of Olivia's therapy sessions in season fifteen.

Happy new year!

Thanks to definitionofawriter for beta reading for me :)