Winter break is over far too soon, but at least class makes the time go by faster. Other holidays pass, ones we don't have at home. Some give us days off from class, others just rile the other children up and make them act both nice to some kids and nasty to others. The girls in my room are careful about when they pick on me now, but they still do. I try to remember what Mrs. Huntington said, even though I don't like it. If she sees me acting like him, then she'll never take me back. I have to be good. I have to remember what Azar taught me.
After class my homework doesn't take long, so I try to spend at least a little time meditating and using the other ways that I know to calm myself. It's a constant chore, the calming of myself, because no one here is calm and their feelings are like ocean waves, constantly threatening to swallow me whole and drown me. When classes end for the summer it's easier. Some of the other kids leave to go to special camps for children without parents. Without class I can spend all my time in the library again, away from everyone.
Today starts the same as any day. We get up, get dressed and go to breakfast. I always wait for the other girls to leave before getting out of bed and taking the duct tape off. I risk using my powers and phase it inside my mattress, because if I put it in my pillow case or anywhere the other girls can reach, they will take it. They're always stealing each other's things and mine are not excluded. I didn't know what theft was before I came here. People do not steal in Azerath, but these girls will steal anything. There are fights about hair clips and chewing gum. Once one of them even took a book I brought down from the library. Not because she wanted to read it, but just because she knew it would make me angry.
After I'm dressed, I walk as fast as I can without running and go downstairs and get in line for food. Today is milk, toast with jam and a fruit cup. The table wobbles a little when the tray slams onto it, but nothing spills. I take my seat and open the fruit cup, then shovel giant spoonfuls of it into my mouth until it's gone. Then I take a bite of toast, chewing while my hands fiddle w/ the cardboard opening of the milk. The faster I eat, the faster I can go upstairs away from what is already a lot of noise. As I swallow the toast, I take a big gulp of milk, which is a mistake because it's sour and chunky. I spit it out and it sprays all over what's left of my breakfast. The smell is like garbage and worse than any stink I've ever smelled in the bathroom. Spit pulls inside my mouth and I spit in my tray to get rid of the bad taste, but it lingers and so does the smell.
"Raven!" I hear one of the staff members coming over and the tone of their voice means they're going to yell at me, but I can't listen to that right now. I have to get away from the smell or I'll be sick. I get up and run to the door, shoving it open with both hands, because I can feel my stomach heaving.
OW! I slam into something and my knees bang on the hard wood floor. Before I can stop myself vomit spews out of my mouth. When my stomach stops heaving, I open my eyes and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Garfield is on the ground in front of me and my vomit is all over him. The sight and smell of it make my stomach heave again. Before he can say anything, I get up and run to the bathroom, where I throw up again. The door to the bathroom opens, but I don't come out of the stall.
"Are you alright?" Ms. Vanderbelt asks. I spit in the toilet again, to get rid of the nasty taste in my mouth and open the stall door. She follows me to the sinks and waits while I rinse my mouth out and assess the damage to my clothes. Most of it got on Garfield, there are only a few splotches on my shirt. "Do you want to go get some toast?" I shake my head, but she's not surprised.
"Some of the milk got left out a bit too long after being delivered yesterday afternoon. It was supposed to get tossed, but it looks like some of it might have gotten mixed in." she's annoyed, but I don't think it's at me, though it's hard to be sure. "Go change. The mess is already being cleaned up." She leaves and I rinse my mouth out one more time before going to the stairs to change. My pants are fine, so I just replace the shirt and head towards the library, but pause because Garfield is on the stairs. He looks at me, but before I can apologize, because I would actually apologize, he runs down them like he's being chased by something. I'm not going to chase him to apologize, so I just go to the library.
Richard is already there. He must have seen the commotion this morning, but he doesn't even turn around when I come in. No snicker, no smirk, just silence. Perfect. That's why we get along. He stays in his corner of the computers and I sit at the middle table, where my book from yesterday is waiting and start to read.
After about five minutes the door opens. I catch Richard's eyes for a half second because he turns around too. Garfield comes in. He should be angry, because I threw up on him, but he's not. He's nervous. He avoids my eyes, but walks over to my table and puts something down.
"It helps." He mumbles and walks back to the door, still avoiding actually looking at my face. He closes the door a little too hard and it slams, making a loud bang. It opens again.
"Sorry!" he says, also a little too loud, before gently closing it. I look at what he put on the table. It's a packet of saltine crackers in plastic wrap. The staff give these out to kids when they say their stomachs hurt. I pick it up and examine it for signs that he messed with it, but it seems fine. If he was angry, I couldn't feel it, but I'm not always good at understanding people's emotions. Why would he give these to me?
Richard is watching me, but he stops when I catch him and he goes back to doing whatever it is he does on the computers. I cast my senses and try to read him, but I can't understand. Richard is always calm and his other feelings are so... hard to understand. Most of the kids are easy. They're sad and angry, sometimes happy, but Richard is weird. Garfield is weird too... I didn't even get to apologize and he wasn't mad... I would be mad.