TW: Lack of concern for one's life
Some days had passed, Felix wasn't sure how many but it felt like an eternity, before he was finally able to see Dimitri. Supervised. He supposed he deserved it, but it didn't mean he was happy about it.
Felix growled throughout the hallways on the walk to the infirmary. "I know you're upset Felix, but growling isn't going to help the situation. You know some people still think you did it on purpose, and you're not able to explain what happened. His Majesty wouldn't say a word until he was allowed to see you." Ingrid told him.
Felix paled. If Dimitri wasn't speaking, did that mean he was mad at him? Felix hoped not, but he did deserve it.
Once they arrived at the infirmary, Felix couldn't help but rush to Dimitri's side. But he didn't touch him. He was afraid of hurting him. All the color was back in Dimitri's face now, and he looked a lot better, save for the bags under his eyes.
"I'm alright love, there's no need to worry." Dimitri soothed, pulling Felix down to sit on his infirmary bed.
"Dimi...sorry." Felix managed to say.
"It's alright, I don't hold it against you. Can we have a moment alone please?" Dimitri asked Ingrid.
"I'm afraid I can't do that. Others are afraid that he could get violent."
"That's an order."
"We're all just concerned, Your Majesty. We're not saying he'd do it on purpose, but his past memories are only those of a beast's."
"Then let me speak with everyone. Felix is not a threat to me, there's no reason to be concerned." Dimitri demanded.
"What did actually happen that day?" Ingrid asked.
"Since everyone seems so concerned about what happened, and not trusting my word, bring everyone here. I'll explain exactly what happened." Dimitri ordered with rage in his voice.
"...Of course, Your Majesty," Ingrid said, bowing before leaving.
"I can't believe they do not trust you." Dimitri told him after she left. Felix only bowed his head in shame. He had hurt Dimitri. It made sense they didn't trust him.
"It's not your fault, please do not believe anything of the sort." Dimitri tried to assure him, cupping his cheek. Felix didn't meet his eyes. "I promise you I don't think what happened is your fault, what others may think will not affect how I feel."
Dimitri held Felix close to his chest until everyone arrived.
"Your Majesty, I'm glad you're alright." Dedue said.
"Yes, so am I. So I can explain to everyone what actually happened. If I had passed would you all blame Felix while he cannot properly defend himself?" No one answered him. "Well?!" He demanded an answer.
"While he did admit to using a spell, Sylvain did tell us was an accident," Ashe explained nervously. He dropped by Felix's room a couple of times since the event. It seemed he wasn't too mad at Felix. At least, he didn't think he'd purposefully hurt anyone.
"How did you know it was an accident if he isn't able to speak and you said you weren't at the scene when the incident happened?" Dedue asked.
"...I may have assumed it was an accident, but-" Sylvain started before Dimitri cut him off.
"It was my fault. Do not blame Felix for something that was my responsibility. He wanted to spar, and I let him. I asked Annette to teach him magic, Felix didn't request anything of the sort. I shouldn't have underestimated him as I did. Felix struck me when I wasn't expecting it. I didn't fight him against my will, I agreed to spar with him. I shouldn't have agreed when Felix doesn't currently have memories of a human life."
Something changed in Felix after Dimitri's speech. He wouldn't just sit and watch Dimitri blame himself.
"It was my fault! I'm the one who threw the spell at you, I knew you weren't expecting it. Did you leave out the part where I tried to breathe fire at you after breakfast? Or threw the first fireball I learned to conjure at you without warning? You can't make everything seem like it's your fault all the time!" Felix suddenly yelled. How had he remembered how to talk? His outburst left everyone in the room shocked, Felix included, however, Dimitri was quick to regain his composure.
"It is my fault, Felix. It is my punishment for allowing you to turn into a beast."
"Not everything revolves around you. Sometimes things just happen that aren't part of this grand scheme to punish you for what you've done. Sometimes people make mistakes, and they aren't your fault." Felix protested.
"...Did you remember how to talk?" Dimitri asked as if realizing that for the first time.
Felix couldn't respond. The room was spinning again, and dark spots were clouding his vision. This was like the time he was turning human. Was he turning back into a demonic beast? Was his human form only temporary? If that was the case, were these thoughts and memories temporary too? Would he soon forget his own name and the smell of his mate? Was he about to attack everyone?
"Felix, are you al-?" Felix didn't get to hear the rest of Dimitri's sentence before he passed out. He was afraid of what he would be when he awoke.
"His memories are returning, but it was too much for his body to handle at once, so he passed out. It seemed the spell worked better than we thought, we just had to be patient." The professor explained to everyone after checking Felix, using some sort of magic to do so.
"Will he be alright?" Dimitri asked worriedly.
"Yes, he should be back to his normal self when he wakes up." The professor told him.
"Thank you." He said sincerely. "I'm sorry for threatening you, for threatening all of you."
"We forgive you, Dimitri. You were worried. We all were." Mercedes said.
"Despite what he said, please do not blame Felix for what happened." Dimitri wouldn't tolerate people placing the blame on Felix.
"It was an accident," Annette said.
"Yes, I suppose you're right." Dedue eventually agreed.
"He wasn't in his right mind after he changed back, I shouldn't have been so harsh on him." Ingrid said.
"I'm sure Felix won't be angry at you when awakens," Dimitri assured. Sure, he got angry easily, but he was sure Felix would understand their situation.
It only took Felix about ten minutes to wake up, and when he did he was in fact angry. Not at their friends like they were worried about. No, he was angry at Dimitri.
"Were you always this dense, or did the war knock some brains out of you?" Felix asked him. From that sentence, Dimitri was certain all his memories had come back to him.
"Felix," Ingrid scolded, but she was smiling a bit. She must be happy Felix was back to normal.
"Can we have a moment?" Dimitri asked. Everyone complied this time.
"You idiot! Why would you spar with someone who thinks they're a demonic beast!" Felix yelled after they left. "What if I killed you?"
"It would be my punishment to bear, Felix." Dimitri told him.
"Do you know how hard I fought to make it back to you? I didn't come back for you to throw your life away over a stupid sparring match!"
"You do realize I'm the reason you had to fight your way back, don't you Felix? I'm the one that caused you to change into a beast."
"It was my choice to save you. And I'm not dead. Can you stop blaming yourself for all of this? You didn't ask me to save you, I decided to do it. I even learned some long-range magic out of this so I shouldn't have to jump in front of you again."
"That is a rather optimistic way of looking at things...though I don't think it's right. Surely you're at least a little bit mad at me for-"
Felix caught him off guard with a kiss. It was a hungry one, the one Dimitri had been waiting for what seemed like forever. They hadn't kissed properly for months after all.
"Will you shut up? I'm only mad at you for going on and on about stuff that's already over. Stop dwelling on the past. It's over. I'm back now. We also made an important discovery. If anyone else gets changed into a beast, we have a chance to save them now."
"I suppose you're right, that is a very important discovery...I'm sorry Felix, I never meant for this to happen."
"Will you stop apologizing? I just said it's fine. Do I have to kiss you again for you to shut up?"
"Yes, I would like that very much." Dimitri admitted, turning a bit red.
"Come here, you idiot." Felix said and was about to kiss him again, before he paused. "You know I love you no matter what, right?"
"Of course Felix, it's the same for me." Dimitri said. He did believe that. If Felix could love Dimitri after all he's done, he could love him through anything.
"Even when it seemed as if I hated you, I still loved you." Felix admitted, blushing a bit. Dimitri always enjoyed it when Felix turned red.
"I'll admit, I wasn't too sure if that was the case, but it reassures me to know that you did. I've always loved you too, even in my darkest times. I just wasn't able to express or properly realize it."
"It's fine. I'll forgive you if you kiss me."
"Gladly."