…..System?

Yes?

Did a gust of wind from Ruby fucking Rose knock me down?

Yes?

And when I fell down, my skull immediately broke?

Lots of blood, actually.

…...Why am I not six feet under?

Cause little red riding hood here wanted none of that.

Bless her adorable little bleeding heart. Where am I anyway?

Summer's house. Oh, yeah, keep forgetting to mention, Ruby doesn't exist yet.

Alright, good t- wait, what.

Yeah, caught me off guard a bit too at first. Still, shouldn't be too difficult waiting for shit to happen, no?

I guess….. God, this bed is divine….. I could literally just sit here all day...

BANG

hWAT THE FUCK- oh fucks sake its just Summer…. God I need to get used to tha- aaaaaand I am being glomped-

"OHMYGODSI'MSOSORRYIDIDN'TMEANTOKNOCKYOUDOWNIWASJUSTTRYINGTOGETTOYOUANDI'MSORRY-"

It's fine, everyone makes mistakes.

"I'LLDOWHATEVERICANTOMAKEITUPTOYOUIFIHURTYOUICAN'TBELIEVEIDIDTHAT-"

….you can stop n- oh wait I gotta use me voice!

Took you long enough.

Not helping.

"PLEASEFORGIVEM-" "shuhush, it's nothink I haven't deald with on a dail- …..can i ged some water?" God dry voice is worst voice official

"OFCOURSE! I'LL GET YOU SOME FOOD TOO!"

…..Wait, it hasn't been too long since I was unawakened, right?

I mean, it was 2 days, but that wasn't why she went to get food.

…..What do you mean?

if you would have listened to me when I explained how much you needed to eat, I said you don't NEED to, but your body will deteriorate to the point that your bones make your skin near-bleached white there's so little skin.

…..Fuck me.

Not my type.

And now there's water and a plate of cookies in my face-

"Here! I made a batch of my special victory cookies! Just for you!" huh, what vic- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THE SMILE IS TOO BRIGHT-

"hOhkay, okay, I'll eat 'em later."

I take a sip and oh my god my throat it feels so much better how did I not notice how dry it was I need more. I practically shove the glass into my mouth to get as much as fast as possible. "Where Is the kitchen." The bluntness seemed to blindside her for a moment. "Oh, it's downstairs!" I immediately hurled myself off the godsend and practically threw myself down the stairs searching for the blood of God himself. Wow, the fact I said that has so many layers of comedy it puts Shrek to shame.

…..Why do I feel like i made a mistake-

"And what are you doing out of bed, mister?"

….oh fuck.

"You better not say something like that around my little flower."

"...Please have mercy, I merely wished for some water-"

"Well you're gonna get that and more. Honestly, it is a miracle you can stand! What have you been eating?!"

O dios mio. I'll get the bunker.

"Uuuuuh…..I….. haven't been? Never needed to?"

Why can I feel hate system?

"You. You are going to sit at this table. You are going to eat. And you are going to like it."

I, being a respectful Murphy-fearing child, immediately snapped a salute and "Yes, ma'am!" and sat at the table. Which has…. A whole fuckin breakfast buffet-

"Well? What are you waiting for?" "...Everyone else to sit down?" "Nope. This meal is all for you." wait, what- "I don't think I can eat all this-" "Then you eat you're full." Okay. Should be easy enough. Grab a slice of toast, put some eggs on it, slide in some slices of godhood (bacon) and bam. Breakfast sandvi- oh my God it took less than 20 seconds to eat that. "Holy ffffff-rick how did I eat it that fast-" "Because someone was starving you. Probably someone in Atlas."

Okay, time to play tarot card number 0. "Someone where?" "Nothing you need to worry about, child." "Okay…. And where am I?" "Patch." "A patch of what?" "Patch is the name, sweetie." "...That sounds dumb-" "WAIT YOU DIDN'T EAT THE VICTORY COOKIES-" A…. Very visible shadow fell over Summer's mother. Why? "Child…. Run." What is going on!? Why is she sc- "MPH-" Did- did Summer just shove a cookie in my mouth?! I break off the pieces already in my mouth, then swallow. "...A bit too sugary, but other than that, pretty nice. You make these yourself?" Yet another blinding smile flashes onto her face. "YES! SOMEONE LIKES MY COOKIES!" Uhhhhhh what- why does her mother look like she sees a ghost? "I GOTTA GO TELL DAD I WON THE BET!" I am so confused- "Kid, I can tell you have no clue in the Grimmlands what's happening. So I'll tell you: she puts a literal ton of sugar in those things." "That- what- isn't that a scientific impossibility with how small the cookies are!?" "Physics don't apply to her when it comes to cookies."

Well. that, uh…. That is good to know for future reference. What isn't good is the actual fucking migraine just thinking about how she did that. Wait, what- "How did I manage to eat everything on the table….. Subconsciously?!" "You were that hungry. Why were you even in the forest anyway?" "Just….. Woke up there." "Do you at least have your Aura unlocked?" "...My what?" Concern flashed on her face. "Your Aura. You know, your soul? It empowers you and protects you. Would explain how hitting your head did seemingly so little damage…."

I have the perfect opportunity to fuck with them here. What God would I be if I didn't take it. "...Aren't souls myth?" "Of course not! Everyone in this house has their Aura unlocked, even little 'ol Summer! Speakin' of, she said something about you being her rival?" "I have no clue what she means by that." "Good." So, this is a thing.

"Say, we never caught your name. What is it?"

Oh yeah, that's right. New me, new name. I think I'll go with….

"Allen."

A mix of alien and all in, corrupted, even one of my original names.. Feels fitting.

(AN: sorry for the missed upload yesterday. gonna do a double upload today to make up for it. also, if anyone wants to send in a character, i could try to slide them in as a character.)