Chapter 8 Egad!

The trudge through the dusty terrain made Aqua thankful that she was wearing sneakers. Shards of obsidian stuck up like miniature daggers. The charcoal colored dirt clung to her pants, painting her legs over with an ever growing stain. The sun sent its searing rays down on the two girls. Aqua was one to appreciate heat, but only in beach settings. This heat was boiling, turning her skin into toast that was the same color as pig skin.

She glanced over at Celia. Beads of sweat clung to her forehead, sticking into her skin like stingers. The hybrid was panting. Her shoulders were slumping; her ragged breath was coming out in spurts. She swiped her hand to her forehead, but the sweat stuck like honey. Her eyelids drooped as she dragged her feet against the black sand.

Aqua took in a breath that burned her nostrils. The brimstone stank like rotten eggs on a summer sidewalk. She blew her hair out of her eyes, but it stubbornly gripped her cheek.

"How much longer?" pondered Celia.

Aqua checked around for any landmarks. She prayed that something would catch her eye. She and Celia had been walking for what seemed like an hour across the bright, unforgiving landscape. Surely that meant they were close! Unfortunately, since this was the Koopa Kingdom, looking for landmarks was like trying to locate a needle in a haystack. All that she saw was blue sky and dark ground. Wind blew across the wasteland, sending dust spraying into the princess's eyes and throat. She coughed.

"If we keep going in this direction, we...should be coming across his house anytime now," Aqua said apprehensively.

Celia nodded. Her mouth creased into an expression of pain as she took another step. The crunch of a rock snapping into shards made Aqua cringe.

"I hate this place," Celia grumbled.

Aqua snorted. Clearly, the love for volcanic locations did not run through Celia's veins. Ironic, considering her ancestry.

"I hear you."

The two continued to walk. As they did, Aqua kept sneaking glances at Celia. Her golden yellow skin looked scratchy. Aqua was tempted to reach out and touch it, just to get a feel for its texture. Her irises were a blood red, the same color as Bowser's. Perhaps that was part of the reason why Aqua had an issue looking at them. She only looked at Celia for brief, one second increments.

When Aqua saw their destination, nestled in front of the Koopa Kingdom's eastern mountain range, she couldn't help but feel relieved. She picked up the pace a little bit. Celia also quickened her stride, and together the two girls arrived at the house.

Although, "house" was probably the wrong word to use. It looked like a hut more than anything else. The walls were a bluish gray, the shutters and roof were a navy blue. The roof was rounded like a dome, and on top of it sat a satellite dish aimed at the western horizon. Aqua heard noises coming from the inside. They resembled that of a jackhammer. The crunchy, screechy sound made Celia visibly cringe. Aqua, however, just grinned.

"Looks like he is home!" She yelled over the noise.

"Who's he?" Celia asked with her hands over her ears. Aqua just gave her a smirk as she opened the door.

The hut consisted of one circular room. The walls were covered in yellow wallpaper that had pictures of mushrooms. Along the walls were tables that had strange looking devices. A good majority of them were computers. One looked like a radar screen on a battleship, another looked like it was a laptop set to screensaver, and yet another displayed an image in a fuzzy resolution.

The floor was coated with all sorts of wacky inventions, one of which Aqua recognized as a FLUDD pack. CDS, dongles, floppy disks, and obsolete phone models also lay scattered across the room. Aqua took a step forward and nearly tripped over what looked to be an old Poltergust.

In the very center of the room was a tan colored table. A little man stood on a stool near said table. He was dressed in a white lab coat which hung down to his knees. He adorned a pair of glasses that gave his eyes a swirly, opulent look. His head was mostly bald save for a wispy white lock of hair that stuck up like a mohawk. His face was round, and his nose resembled a ripe cherry. In his hand he had what appeared to be a miniature jackhammer, and he was hacking away at a piece of purple ore.

"Professor E Gadd!" Aqua yelled above the cacophony. She yelled that name three more times before the professor heard her. He put down the tool, giving the ears of both girls some well needed rest.

"Why hello!" he yelled with a smile. He plucked a pair of ear plugs out of his ears and dismounted the stool. His ginormous top tooth stuck out as he grinned at Aqua. "Princess Aqua, always a delight."

The professor took Aqua's hand and gave it a shake. His grip was jittery, as if he was vibrating from a caffeine overdose. Aqua, who hadn't interacted with the professor in so long, grinned.

"Elvin, always a pleasure." She curtsied, the standard form of greeting when you were a member of the royal family. Celia looked a little shaken by the strange man who stood before her.

"Umm, am I going to get an introduction or…"

Aqua sniffed.

"Right, of course." She swept her hand toward her new friend. "Professor, this is Celia Patch. Celia, this is Professor Elvin Gadd."

Celia chortled.

"Oh, like 'egad.' Clever." She approached the professor. Her hair draped over her eyes, and her fingers were intertwined. Aqua could practically hear them rip apart as she extended her hand to Elvin. "Pleasure to meet you."

Elvin took Celia's hand and gave it a shake so strong that the hybrid vibrated like jello.

"Why hello, girly! The pleasure most certainly belongs to me in this scenario!"

Aqua put her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. Professor E Gadd had always been upfront and cheerful. This was probably for the best, as his upbeat mannerisms and absurd interests have been a tremendous help to Luigi when he saved Mario from the treacherous King Boo. He had always been a very good friend to the Mario Bros and Aqua's family as a consequence.

"I am ever so delighted that you too stopped by!" E Gadd exclaimed once he mercifully let go of Celia's hand. He gestured toward the purple ore on the table. "I don't spend a lot of time in this vacation home, but I have located a chunk of galaxium during my travels recently! I am very close to uncovering its special properties!"

Celia nodded apprehensively. Aqua admired the piece of galaxium. It glimmered under the light that was hanging over the table. Aqua didn't know if it was her imagination, but she thought it appeared to be pulsating.

"That's awesome, E Gadd!" Aqua said. E Gadd puffed out his chest.

"Why thank you, your highness." Suddenly, he adorned a look of confusion. "Say, what are you doing here in the Koopa Kingdom?"

Aqua exchanged a look with Celia and cleared her throat.

"I was kidnapped by Bowser…."

"WHAT!" E Gadd screeched. The sound was almost as loud as the miniature jackhammer. He cast Aqua a look of concern. "That's terrible! How did you escape?"

Aqua gestured toward Celia.

"She aided me. She helped me sneak out of the castle when no one was looking."

E Gadd didn't say anything, but his elated smile aimed toward Celia expressed his gratitude.

"And now we're trying to get back to the Lake Kingdom," Celia said. "We were hoping that you could help us."

E Gadd chuckled.

"Why of course I can!" He walked toward the door, where a coffee maker was resting on a table. "But before I do that, why don't you two pull up a chair? You both look as if you could use a nice cup of joe! Just be mindful of the galaxium."

Admittedly, the walk from Stonebrim had drained a lot out of both girls. Aqua eagerly took a seat. Although Celia still looked a little taken aback by E Gadd's mannerisms, she also took a seat. The sound of the coffee maker squirting hot coffee into mugs could be heard throughout E Gadd's vacation home. The professor carried both cups of joe over and set them gently down.

"I believe that you girls will appreciate this," he said. "This is hoolumbian coffee. It is made from hoo beans and woo beans that were exported directly from the Beanbean Kingdom."

Aqua took her cup. The liquid was so clear that she could see her reflection in it. Little ripples were sent along the surface, causing Aqua's nose to scrunch up a little. She took a sip and nearly choked.

"Oh wow, that's potent!"

"It is!" E Gadd said as he took a seat right alongside them. "It is pure, concentrated bean extract. It has so much caffeine that you'll be shooting off to space within seconds!"

Celia took a sip of the hoolumbian. Once she swallowed, her stomach let out a very pitiful sounding gurgle. Her face turned puce.

"Ugh," she said as she put her hand on her stomach. The queasiness of her expression started to make Aqua feel ill. "I need a bathroom."

"It's an outhouse just behind the house," E Gadd said with a concerned inflection. Celia bolted out of the hut. Aqua watched her go with wide open eyes before she turned back to the professor. Elvin looked at Celia's cup and curiously took a sip.

"Huh. I never would have suspected that this beverage would make a teenager feel ill. Beanbean coffee has no reported health detriments."

Aqua snorted. She set down her cup on the table.

"Said the person who commented that this could make us shoot for the stars."

"Well, yes. But that's more of a benefit than anything else." He glugged down the coffee in Celia's cup. He wiped his mouth in satisfaction once the beverage was gone. "Ahh! That hit the spot."

Aqua chuckled and took another sip. Once she set the cup down again, she could feel her heartbeat escalating. E Gadd was vibrating.

"Egad," E Gadd said. He started to giggle uncontrollably. "I feel as if I can solve pi!"

Aqua nodded and cleared her throat.

"While that is a good thing, I would appreciate it if you would help us get back to the Lake Kingdom."

"Oh, yes, of course." The professor got up and started to search around his hut. He did it at an incredible speed, one that would make a certain blue hedgehog go green with envy. Aqua was tempted to restrain him so he didn't accidentally break the sound barrier.

"Okay, Elvin, settle down!" Aqua said.

"Can't can't can't! I am soooooooo wound!"

Aqua placed her hand on his shoulder. She didn't do it gently either, so a slapping sound could be heard as hand collided with skin. This seemed to be enough to bring him down from his caffeine craze. He took a deep breath, thanked Aqua, and started to search at a normal speed. As he was checking through the spaghetti like mess of wires that resided under his computer table, he spoke up.

"I must say, your highness, Celia Patch's appearance is a very unique one."

Aqua felt a creeping sensation enter her stomach as she nodded.

"That's because she's half koopa."

E Gadd, in shock, bolted upright and bonked his head on the table. Rubbing his head, he got out from under the table and approached Aqua.

"Really?"

Aqua nodded again. E Gadd's eyes grew wide.

"I...I had no idea that was even possible! I mean, I knew it was possible for Toads to procreate with humans as your father was half toad, but koopas?"

Aqua nodded.

"It is a little unusual."

E Gadd's mouth hung open a little as he slowly resumed with his searching. Aside from the sound of phones and tech being rummaged through and thrown about, there was a silence in the room.

"You know, I find it odd that you of all people would befriend a Koopa, Aqua," Elvin finally said.

The creeping feeling returned to Aqua's stomach. It wrapped around her intestines like a strong, invasive ivy.

"Well, Celia did help me escape. She probably isn't as bad as the rest of them."

Elvin nodded as he picked up a hard drive and examined it with one eye closed. He nonchalantly threw it away.

"That is true." He turned toward the Princess. "But are you sure that associating with her kind is a wise idea?"

Aqua scoffed. It felt like feathers were tickling her lungs and liver.

"Honestly? No, I don't. Celia may be the exception to the rule, but there is a rule in place for a reason." She directed her eyes down to the ground. "If the king of koopas is a no good jerk, then how can I possibly expect that anyone else is better?"

Another silence made its presence known in the room. Princess Aqua could feel tears starting to build in her eyes. E Gadd slowly and cautiously approached the princess.

"Aquamarine…"

Aqua bit her lip.

"How can he possibly think that trying to get my sister is a good idea?" She murmured. Her hand started to curl into a fist. "After what he did to my family…"

E Gadd took hold of Aqua's hand, bringing her back down to reality. She allowed her hand to uncurl, her teeth to leave her bottom lip alone.

"I'm sorry."

"It's quite alright, my dear." He sighed. "I quite understand what is happening in your head. Your emotions of anger and grief are not unfounded, nor are they inappropriate. What Bowser did was, quite frankly, unforgiveable."

A tear slid down Aqua's cheek. It had been thirteen years, yet she had never truly gotten over it. She doubted that she ever would. She couldn't remember the last words her parents said to her, but she did remember what happened to them. Who killed them.

"You're right, professor. You are absolutely right."

E Gadd nodded and resumed with his searching once again. He rummaged through the devices before he found what he was looking for.

"Eureka!" He stood up and showed Aqua what he had been searching for. Aqua blinked.

"Keys?"

"Not just any keys," E Gadd said with a giddy grin. "These are go kart keys! I have two go karts parked just outside! You can use them to get back to the Lake Kingdom!" He went over and took hold of Aqua's hand. He forced it open and gave her the keys. "There is a mountain pass just to the southeast. That pass will allow you to get to the Cap Kingdom. Keep following the trail through the Cascade and Sand Kingdoms, and you'll be back home lickity split."

Aqua looked down at the keys in wonder. She smiled warmly at Gadd.

"Thank you very much, professor."

"It is my pleasure, your highness," E Gadd said as he took a bow. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like to resume with my galaxium escapade!"

With that, E Gadd picked up the miniature jackhammer and turned it on. Aqua cast him one last smile before she left.