Notes:

Hey guys! Hope you're doing well...This chapter contains a lot of NSFW themes. Check the tags, please. Most of them will come into play this chapter and I don't want anyone getting into anything they're not prepared for. If any of the tags bother you then...well, I'm not sure this story will be right for you and I apologize for you getting this far into it. Again, Check. The. Tags.

I know this love will tear me to pieces
I know his hands will dig up my secrets

By the time we pulled onto another long stretch of road leading around a series of warehouses, after twenty minutes of riding in awkward silence, I was furious and about to bust. And as much as I was prepared to use my bodily functions as a defense mechanism, I didn't want to piss myself in front of Joker.

I already felt like an idiot around him most of the time. No need to add anymore embarrassment to that. Then again, I shouldn't have even cared what he thought of me. I should have been wanting to turn him off, to make him disgusted by me. What I should want and what I did want though were two completely opposite things by now and I didn't have the energy to be angry about it anymore.

As soon as the two bastards in the front got out and my door was opened-thankfully not by Daryl-I was stomping toward the door with my purse at my side. I didn't need anyone carrying me inside this time. The two men standing guard by the door stepped in front of me, one holding a hand out to stop me from getting close.

"What? Do you think I have a gun or something? Where would I keep it?" I held my hands out at my side and rolled my eyes as one of them stepped forward. His hands patted down my side and back, and I had to hold back the urge to gag while he opened my bag. After the incident at the other warehouse not even half an hour ago, I wasn't exactly in the mood to be touched. Once they were satisfied that I wasn't carrying any weapons on me, they stepped aside and I shoved the door open.

The immediate interior of the warehouse was dark and it took several blinks before my eyes became adjusted to it. I knew the office was to the right, having spent hours locked away there the last time I was dragged to this place. I turned on my heel and went left, determined to find him and yell at him in front of all of his men.

That had been the plan, but wasn't what happened.

A hand snatched me by the elbow and spun me back around. The toes of my boots scraped along the dusty concrete floor and I cried out at the bruising grip on my arm. It was the driver hauling me away this time and I stumbled to keep up.

Daryl made his way into the warehouse behind us and I was thankful to see him stalking quickly away. I glared after him and for the second time in my life, I was shoved inside that dark, dingy office. I managed to keep myself from falling to my hands and knees this time but by the time I whirled around to snap at the guy, the door was slamming shut.

I ran to it and beat my fists against the metal. "I have to pee, you assholes!"

My shouting was ignored, which was no surprise to me, and I let my forehead fall to the chipped, gray paint on the door. The pain in my lip was still stinging and I reached up to touch it with a wince. Around the edge of my bottom lip, the blood was already starting to dry and a few flecks chipped away at my touch.

Behind me, there was a sharp click and light flooded around my feet. I whirled around and blinked in surprise at the sight of him standing at the table across the room. He kept his back to me, staring down at an unrolled pile of blueprints laid out before him. The corners were being held down by various knives and the sight of them made me swallow nervously.

Before he could turn around and face me or open his mouth and piss me off, I reached into my purse and gathered the fake license and cell phone he had sent me this morning. Despite every fiber in my being telling me not to, I walked up to the table and tossed them both down onto the blueprint he was inspecting.

I couldn't tell what it was, but it looked like the interior of a large, multi-storied building. There were several different floors drawn out with white lines but I didn't care about it. I didn't want to know about anything he was doing.

Joker slowly reached out and picked up the license I had thrown down and I squared my shoulders, knowing if I let him speak first, he would say something that would make me too nervous to say what I wanted to say. So, I didn't give him a chance.

"I'm not doing your little jobs anymore. I'm not going to be Jacklyn Napier and I'm not going to be in charge of a savings account that I'm sure is illegal. I don't want your cell phone, or your attention, or your time. I'm done."

He lifted his head and the badly dyed green strands of hair fell away from his face. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and I wanted to flinch. I quickly looked away from his gaze, instead focusing on his lips and that was just as big of a mistake. They were painted and pursed, though I couldn't see much annoyance behind his face this time.

It was more like he was waiting for me to turn and walk away. When I didn't, he smacked his lips and moved toward me. Out of instinct, I backed away, putting as much distance between us that I could. He ignored me and instead reached down to grab another rolled-up blueprint from the stack on the ground beside the table.

I watched it unfurl and he set the knives down on each corner to keep it flat. This one was for a block of the city instead. I could see a bridge and roads and the sewage system running underground. My curiosity got the best of me and I stepped closer, peering down at it while still trying to keep my distance from him. Still, I looked up at him and blinked. Why was he ignoring me? Was he in the middle of his little schemes and couldn't be bothered to even acknowledge me?

Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back and narrowed my eyes on the side of his head. Why even bring me here if he was just going to be like this? As he picked up a red Sharpie and circled several places on the blue page in front of him, I took a deep breath to speak again.

"Your little minion that you sent to pick me up, the one that attacked me yesterday, did it again. He tried to rape me in the back of the car today." Joker remained quiet but smacked his lips, letting just the tip of his tongue trace the corner of his mouth. I threw my hands up in the air. "Why the hell am I even telling you? You're not going to do anything about it. It's not like you care about anything except whatever this is."

I gestured down to the table just as he reached back into his coat, pushing the length of fabric aside so he could pull something out of the waist of his pants. Seeing the gun didn't surprise me but I took a step back anyway. He dropped it onto the table and flashed a blank smile that had none of his usual, twisted humor behind it.

"It's your problem, Natalie. Take the gun and do something about it."

I was both astounded and not at all surprised by his response. Of course, he didn't care about me or my problems. Did I ever think that he would? I hated that a small part of me had hoped he would. Glancing down at the gun on the corner of the table, I wondered what he would do if I snatched it up and actually did something about my problems.

Shooting Daryl wouldn't solve the one thing causing most of my problems lately. Slowly, I lifted my eyes back to meet his and hovered my hand over the weapon. The tips of my fingers were trembling and I sighed, knowing I didn't have the balls to do anything that brash.

He scoffed and turned away as if he had never expected me to actually do anything. Maybe he had been hoping I would have, just like I hoped he would want to do something normal for me. With a roll of my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him, pacing a few steps away.

"Can I leave?"

"And miss all the fun?"

"You and I have very different definitions of fun." I turned to face him and noticed the slight shrug of his shoulders as he chuckled. "You and I are very different, period."

"Oh, I disagree." The marker squeaked over the paper once more. "I think you and I have a few things in common."

I wanted to ask him to elaborate on that, but something in his tone was making me nervous. This wasn't the typical Joker I had become used to-or about as used to that one could possibly become with someone like him. He seemed irritated and darker. Usually, he would have laughed at me or made a joke that I would never understand.

The sound of the cap clicking back onto the marker made me blink and I let my arms drop to my side. Again, my curiosity got the best of me and I quietly cleared my throat to speak. "Like what?"

"Well," he started, tossing the marker onto the table before turning to face me. "We both frustrate each other." His hands clenched into fists to emphasize his word and I glanced down at his fingers. The leather gloves were gone and I could see streaks of white paint on his hand. "You're too preoccupied with resisting me and I want to break you."

Fuck. What did that mean? Okay, now I was nervous and I still had to pee. The pressure on my bladder was almost unbearable and if he kept this up, I was definitely going to piss myself. Taking a step back, I put my hands up in front of me. "Look, I'm sorry. I just want to use the bathroom. Can I at least do that before…"

I trailed off, not sure what I even wanted to say. Before we do this thing all over again-before he kills me or breaks me.

Joker dropped his hands to his side and rolled his eyes as if my bodily functions were beneath him. He moved toward me and I braced myself, tensing every muscle in my body. When his hand took hold of my arm, I was embarrassed by the tiny yelp I let out. In two quick steps, he hauled me to the door and pulled it open.

I realized that it hadn't even been locked. Why hadn't I even tried to open it?

He hauled me out of the office and let go of me, making me stumble to catch my balance. "Ms. Jacobs needs to use the restroom."

I spun to look at where a few of his goons were sitting around, doing nothing. One started to stand but I put a hand up. There was no way I was going to let Daryl take me to the bathroom. "If you come near me, I'll kill you."

The other men all laughed at my threat and I was relieved when, after several seconds passed, the guy who had been driving earlier tossed his cell phone down on a table and crossed the room. He took me by the arm where Joker had let go of me and I rolled my eyes. Were they not aware that I was capable of walking by myself?

As he led me down a narrow hallway toward the back of the warehouse, I heard the office door shut once more and I looked over my shoulder. Joker was gone, disappeared back into the room, and I wondered if I could get away somehow. Maybe there was a window in the bathroom I could crawl out of.

There wasn't.

It was basically a closet and a total wreck. The tile floor, which had once been white but was now a dingy brown, was broken in several places and the sink looked like it was seconds away from crumbling away from the wall. I could see the pipes behind the drywall and there was a faint squeaking sound coming from the hole.

"Jesus," I mumbled as the guy pushed me inside and slapped the light switch. It didn't offer much light and I hugged my arms around my waist. The door shut with a sharp click behind me and I reached down with the intention of locking the door but of course, there was no lock. Scowling, I turned back to face the toilet and grimaced, almost too afraid to even look at it.

Using the tip of my boot, I pushed the lid up and carefully peered over the seat. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be with the only stains being in the actual bowl. Still, I used the hover method to pee. It was quick but relieving and I stood up, adjusting my panties and my skirt. I didn't want to flush just yet. I needed a few minutes to gather my thoughts.

They were so jumbled, so disoriented from the past two days, that I couldn't focus on anything for too long. I just wanted to go home. And not to the apartment I shared with Chelsea. I wanted to go home , far away from all this. Just thinking about my childhood bedroom, the stuffed animals that my mom had kept on my bed, the posters and pictures of my adolescent years hanging on the walls, made my heart ache.

If only 15 year old Natalie, who had dreamed about living in the city, falling in love, and living the perfect life could see me now. She'd be terrified-possibly join a convent to prevent it all from coming true. She would be confused and disgusted by who I am now, by the things I had done and the things I foolishly wanted to do for some reason.

A fist pounded on the door, jerking me out of my thoughts and I jumped nearly a foot in the air. I put a hand to my chest to calm my racing pulse and raised my foot to flush the toilet. I ignored the sink, opting not to even attempt to wash my hands in it. Not like it would matter in a place like this. As soon as I opened the door, I was hauled once more through the warehouse.

Back through the office door, I was released and it shut behind me with a rattle of the thin, metal walls on either side of it. Joker was right at the table like he had been before, except he was wearing a few fewer clothes now. I spotted his coat draped over the arm of the dingy couch, with his green vest and that tacky tie laying on top of the pile. My eyes widened at the sight of them and I suddenly felt as shy as I had been at 15 years old. It felt too intimate seeing him like this.

Despite the only light source being the lamp directly in front of him on the table, I could see enough of his back to stare at the Y shape of his suspenders stretching down between his shoulders, bunching the fabric of his shirt. I followed it down to his pants and I tried not to notice his legs, but it was impossible. They were so long and despite the slightly baggy material, I could make out the shape of them beneath it.

I cleared my throat after a few minutes and quickly looked away from him, turning to the couch where I had fallen asleep the last time I had been held prisoner here. I crossed the room and sat down beside his jacket. His vest was draped over the top of it and I could see the shiny, pearl buttons that I had been desperately trying to unfasten the night before. My fingers tingled at the memory.

With a quick glance to make sure he wasn't looking at me, I curled my fingers around the material of his coat and carefully lifted it off the couch. I leaned down and put my nose against the lapel, feeling the brush of fabric against my cheek. The smell I breathed in was dizzying and I couldn't help letting my eyes roll back in my head as it filled my senses.

God, it was so strange. Fire and gasoline and sweat. I never knew they could smell like this, or that they would make me feel like this. It was wrong and disgusting and I should have been grossed out. I was ashamed that I wasn't. Alarms were ringing in my head suddenly and I dropped the coat and sat up. My eyes darted to him and I was relieved to find his back still toward me and his head hunched forward as he studied whatever plans laid out in front of him.

His smell was still in my nose, assaulting me, throwing my arousal back in my face like acid. It burned through me, suffocating me, and I felt that familiar burst of panic prickling like needles in my chest, pushing through the warmth consuming me. I slowly stood to my feet and wrung my trembling hands in front of me.

"Can I please just go home? I don't know what you could possibly still want from me." Joker's head lifted, but he didn't turn to face me just yet. I watched his hands slide to the edge of the table and fall to his sides. My head was a mess of chaotic thoughts and I didn't know which one to focus on. "I honestly don't know what you're even trying to prove with all of this, or with me. I don't want you or whatever you think. I-I don't even know your name, for fuck's sake."

This time, he turned slowly on his heel and as his eyes met mine, I felt the need to shrink myself down and disappear. "Y es . You do."

"Joker is not your name." It felt strange just saying the name out loud. I don't think I had ever even said it before, especially not to him. Blinking the sting of tears away, I swallowed and shrugged my shoulders. "I just don't know what you want from me…"

He turned his head slightly to the side but kept his gaze burning right into mine. I watched his lips part before averting my gaze. I didn't want to see his tongue, didn't want to be reminded of how it tasted. I watched him out of the corner of my eyes as he took a few steps toward me. I backed up until my heels hit the couch behind me.

I wanted to be as strong as I had been last night and fight back, to scream and curse at him, but most of that had been the alcohol clouding my judgment. All I felt now was fear and shame and that fucking burn over my skin from just being close to him. It made it hard to breathe properly as if he carried fire with him that sucked all of the oxygen from my lungs. My chest rose and fell quickly and I knew he noticed it.

As he stepped closer to me-far too close-I put my hand out and sucked in a breath at the line of buttons on his shirt pressing into my palm. I closed my eyes and pushed against him, stopping him from coming any closer.

"Do you really want to know what I want , Natalie?" His voice was rough, barely a whisper, and it made the muscles between my legs clench tightly. "I just want you to admit what I've known from the moment I first saw you trembling like a little kitten. Behind those eyes -" the sharp flick of a switchblade made my eyes snap open and I sucked in a breath and stared at the steel as he lifted the blade to my chin. It was sharp but didn't break the skin. He pushed the tip into the flesh of my jaw, just enough to make me tilt my head back and stare up into his face. "There was so much you were telling me. You were just begging for me to tear you to pieces."

Okay, this had gone on too long. It had to stop before I did something stupid.

I clenched my jaw and pushed against him. Unlike last night when he had laughed and backed away when I pushed him, he remained exactly where he wanted to be. I refused to look away from him, despite how terrified I was. For some reason, I was still holding onto the need to stand up to him, to show him that I hadn't given up yet. Even though, at that moment, I was fairly certain I had. I was furious with myself and furious with him for doing this to me but I didn't know which was the stronger emotion surging through me-fury or desire-as his dark eyes moved down to my lips. It was maddening.

"Go fuck yourself." My voice was feeble, barely a whisper, and totally unconvincing.

Joker nodded and took the knife away from my chin, only to move it to my lips and I froze. He hooked the curved tip of the blade around the corner of my mouth and ducked his head to be level with my eyes. "You've got quite the dirty mouth, Ms. Jacobs. I wonder what dirty things you could do with it."

Every muscle in my body tensed as my blood ran cold and I stared up at him with my eyes wide. My fingers slowly curled around the fabric of his shirt to hold me steady while my knees trembled. I could feel his muscles beneath my hand, though I had already suspected they were there. He was too strong to be as scrawny as he made himself look. The blade tilted downward, pressing into the cut from my tooth earlier, and I winced. To my surprise, he slowly pulled it away from my face altogether and closed it with a click that made me jump before he smacked his lips and spoke.

"Would you like to know what I can do with mine?"

All of the air left my lungs at once and I parted my lips in surprise. In an instant, filthy thoughts filled my head and a familiar, burning ache pressed against my lower belly from the inside. It slowly sank between my thighs and no amount of pressing my legs together would relieve it. I was in need of a different kind of relief.

Without waiting for my answer, Joker closed the distance between us but didn't kiss me. He bent down, cupped his hands around the back of my thighs, and lifted me in one, quick motion. My legs parted and circled his waist and I had no choice but to grab hold of his shoulders. I curled one hand around the suspender strap while clenching the fabric of his shirt in the other and held on tightly.

The press of his hands on my backside, over my panties but beneath my skirt was terrifying. He gripped my flesh tightly and kept me pinned in place against him. I could feel the button of his pants and the clasp of his suspenders digging into my inner thighs but I couldn't think beyond forcing myself to breathe in and out.

This close to his face, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my throat and I once again felt the urge to touch his scars. I had learned my lesson last time though and kept my hands exactly where they were. So distracted by how close we suddenly were, I hadn't realized he had even been moving us across the room until my ass touched the table.

All the blueprints he had been inspecting moments ago crinkled beneath my weight and I had to put my hands down to keep from falling back. He reached one hand behind my head and sank his fingers into my hair, his nails raking over my scalp.

I tried not to, but I couldn't help my eyes rolling back in my head or the soft little sigh I let out. I knew he didn't deserve to hear something as delicate as that come out of my mouth. His grip on my hair tightened at the sound and the slight pain made me flinch. It parted the fog in my head just enough to bring me momentarily back to my senses.

How did this keep happening? It was like I blinked and suddenly, here we were. Wasn't I just angry at him, telling him to go fuck himself? It wasn't fair that he could cloud my judgment so easily like this when I had no power over him whatsoever. I felt helpless and powerless and-

Joker used his grip on my hair to pull me forward, just enough to close the distance between us again. This time, he kissed me and if I hadn't been sitting down, my knees would have buckled out from under me.

He kissed me like he wanted to devour me, stealing my breath away and leaving me feeling dizzy. His lips were so soft yet firm, holding all of the control as he leaned my head to the side so he could fit better against my mouth. When his tongue touched mine, giving me a taste of the paint he licked off his lips, I brought my hands to his chest and found my way back to his suspenders.

I pushed them down his shoulders and was relieved when he pulled his arms free before quickly taking hold of me again. To my disappointment, he broke our kiss before I had a chance to even savor it, but he put his hands on either side of my head, cradling my jaw as he exposed my throat.

Somehow, it felt just as good to have his mouth on my neck as it felt to kiss him. He knew exactly where to kiss and suck to make me tremble. Just beneath my jaw, he licked; at my pulse point, he sucked; where my neck met my shoulder, he nipped. The sharp sting of his teeth made my eyes snap open and my lips parted in a gasp.

"Shit," I hissed, my fingers tightening around the material of his shirt. The deep chuckle he let out, right where he had bitten me, vibrated through my flesh and I shivered.

As he continued to show me what his mouth could do on my throat, his hands slipped down over my shoulders. He pulled one strap of my dress down and I knew in the back of my head that I couldn't let this happen. This was so wrong. He was my tormentor, the subject of every nightmare I had had the past few weeks. What was I doing? Why was I letting him do this to me?

But of course, all of that dissolved entirely when his hands found my hips and he slid me easily to the edge of the table, making a mess of his plans beneath me. He moved his body closer, pressing right against my center, and again, I sucked in a sharp breath, and heat rippled through me.

He was hard, but I wasn't surprised. Hell, I was certain that I was absolutely dripping by now. What did surprise me was his size. It had been a long time since I had been fucked and the last guy I was with hadn't been very well endowed.

Joker was definitely going to break me. One way or another.

Hearing him growl against my throat snapped me back to reality and I blinked in surprise. His hand scrambled over the table beside me until he found a knife and he expertly flicked it open with one hand as he pulled his mouth away from my neck.

I stared up at him, noting that his face paint was smeared across his mouth but was too distracted by the blade he held to dwell on his makeup for too long. He brought the knife to my throat and I let go of his shirt, reaching for his wrists to keep him from cutting me. Thankfully, it wasn't my neck he wanted to slice but the thin t-shirt I had put on underneath my dress.

He pulled at the neck and dragged the blade down easily through the fabric, the sound of it ripping louder than I was expecting. Once it was open far enough, he ripped it the rest of the way with his hands and my jaw dropped. My dress stayed covering my chest but I was too stunned to notice it.

He gave me no time to recover before his mouth was on mine once more. He caught me open-mouthed, one hand grabbing the back of my neck to keep me from trying to get away from him, while the other found its way to my dress. The material was tugged down my chest and I felt the air against the flesh of my breast above my bra.

Before I could even realize what was happening, I was letting him slip the straps of my dress down my arms and pulling them free. It was too hard to think through the dizzying effects of his kiss. My head was spinning and my body was trembling with terror and that delicious anticipation of what could come next. But it was the terror that took hold of my senses and I pushed his shoulders, stopping him from going further.

"Wait," I breathed, shaking my head and backing away from his kiss. "I can't."

"Why?" he growled, dipping his head to nip at the flesh of my shoulders. The sharp sting of his bite made me wince and I curled my fingers around his shirt sleeves. "Don't tell me you're holding onto some archaic sense of chastity, that you're too good for this."

I rolled my eyes and pushed against him again, but he didn't budge. "I just can't, J-" His name was on the tip of my tongue but I clamped my lips shut before I could utter it. It didn't matter. He had heard me, had noticed my hesitation and I could feel his mouth stretch into a grin at the side of my neck.

With a slight tilt of his head, I felt the warmth of his breath against my earlobe and fought the shiver that raced down my spine. "Go ahead," he whispered. "Say it."

No.

I didn't want to. I couldn't. It was too much. This was all too much. I shut my eyes and leaned my head back as he continued to bite and suck at my throat. "Please…"

"Say it, Natalie. I want to hear you say my name." All of a sudden, he pulled away and stared down at me, making my eyes snap open. He wasn't grinning or being cheeky like I expected. There was a darkness in his gaze that pierced through me and left me breathless. "Of course, I can always make you say it."

Down the center of my chest, I felt the cold steel of his knife and gasped, gripping his shoulders to try to push him away from me. He didn't budge. He dragged the tip of the blade down between my breasts until it met the strip of fabric between the cups of my bra. Before I could even whimper a sound of protest, he captured my lips once more and silenced me. My hands were sore from holding so tightly onto his shirt and I could feel the determination within me start to slip away.

A quick scrape of his fingernail on the flesh behind my bra, a slice of the blade through the fabric, and a satisfied groan that rumbled in his throat was all it took. My bra fell away and suddenly, to my horror, my chest was bared. My eyes snapped open wide and all I could see was the curtain of painted hair hanging across my face.

Joker pushed the remnants of my shirt and bra over my shoulders until it fell to the table and out of instinct, I let go of his shirt to cover myself. He snatched both of my wrists and pushed my arms away until they were both pinned behind my back. When he broke our kiss, I was breathless, staring up into his face with wide eyes and tender lips.

His gaze dropped from my face to my chest rising and falling with each breath and I could only watch the scarred corners of his mouth curl into a grin. There was barely any room between us, but that didn't stop him from bringing a hand to my chest. I expected to feel the warmth of his fingers against my breast and when I felt the cool, hard steel of the blade still held in his grip, I sucked in a breath.

The sound of my gasp must have delighted him. His eyes narrowed and he dragged the tip of the knife across my flesh, catching momentarily on the tight bud of my nipple. A sharp sting made me clamp my teeth around my bottom lip and Joker's gaze lifted back to meet mine.

I hated how aroused I was by the sight of his makeup smeared across his mouth and knowing it was on my lips as well only turned me on more.

"Say it," he repeated quietly, the deepness of his voice startling me. My eyes closed and I bit harder on my lip, opening the cut and making blood seep out once more.

I could feel my tongue forming the syllables of his name but my voice was nowhere to be found. All I could do was pathetically shake my head and silently beg him not to make me say it. The tip of the blade dragged deeper into the soft flesh beneath my nipple and suddenly, I was able to find my voice in a sharp cry of pain.

Joker breathed in the sound of it and I whimpered-a sound caught somewhere between a sob and a moan. The muscles along my shoulders, down my back, and to my thighs were trembling. Each one was pulled tight as I tried to hold myself steady while he still gripped my wrists behind my back and kept me pinned against him on the table.

As my breath hitched in the back of my throat, Joker dropped the knife even lower. Down my stomach and over the material of my dress bunched around my waist. His fingers and the knife disappeared beneath my skirt and I would have clenched my thighs together to stop him if he wasn't still positioned between them.

Every inch of my body trembled violently and I was lost. Utterly lost in the terror, lost in the desire. I couldn't do anything except let this happen.

Oh, but it wasn't like I would even stop it if I could.

My eyes opened to see him still staring down at me, patiently waiting for me to give in to his demands and say his name. From everything I had experienced with him in the past, I knew he wasn't a patient man and sooner rather than later, he was going to force the word out of my mouth.

A breath froze in the back of my lungs as I felt the back of his fingers brush against the flesh of the inside of my thighs. On one side, his hand was hot and on the other, the blade was cool against my skin.

" Say it, Natalie." Joker dipped his head closer to me, his hair falling around my face. "I want to hear it come out of that filthy mouth."

"Please--"

"What was that?" The hand keeping my wrists pinned behind my back fell away and I gasped as it found its new home around my throat. "Are you begging me to stop?"

The black paint around his eyes only made his gaze darker and I could feel it pierce through me sharper than any knife. I searched his eyes but found nothing but the sinister desire that left me feeling as if I were on fire.

"No," I managed to whisper in response.

"Then what are you begging for, Natalie? Tell me what you want."

The words repeated in my head over and over and I felt torn down the middle. My body was acting on its own accord, writhing and trembling with the anticipation of his touch and my head...It was a jumbled mess of chaos. Nothing made sense in the fire and destruction he left inside me and for several seconds, I could only open and close my mouth around the silence.

But I knew what I wanted, even though I couldn't admit it.

It was what I had wanted for a while now.

My eyes closed and my voice crept out from its hiding place. "I want you." It felt so good and so dirty to say it out loud. And when my eyes opened to meet his, I gave in. "Joker."

The grin was slow to curl the corners of his mouth but I couldn't help letting my stare fall to his lips to watch it. And despite the pounding of my pulse and the tremors still rolling through my muscles, I let him guide me away from him. The grip around my throat never faltered and I leaned back on my elbows. I could feel the edge of the blueprints beneath my arms but ignored them.

Between my legs, Joker took one finger and hooked it around the stretch of panties, pulling the material until the edges started slipping down my thigh. Tension and desire sat heavy in the pit of my lower belly and I let my head fall back.

Once my panties made it to my knees, he abandoned them and resorted to making quick work of them with the knife. The garment fell away from one side and hung around my leg on the other but I had no time to worry about a ruined pair of panties.

Joker pulled my legs further apart and returned his fingers to my center. I could feel the edge of the knife pressing into my hip and I squirmed against it. I knew I didn't want him to cut me, but I didn't exactly try hard to get away from him. It was as if he had taken control of me and the thought wasn't as frightening as it should be.

The cloud of my desire was making it hard to think straight.

I couldn't see anything beyond the need to feel his fingers sink into me. The grip he held around my throat tightened just enough to make a jolt of panic race through me but he left me enough room to breathe. Because I would need it.

As his fingers pulled away from me, I sucked in a breath and snapped my eyes open. Fear trickled through me. Fear that he was going to walk away and leave me here like this, vulnerable and exposed and desperate. Before I could even lift my head to make sure he wasn't laughing at me or planning to stab me through the heart, I recognized the familiar sound of a belt buckle.

Suddenly, an all new fear raced through me. My heart beat so fast it was almost painful and I could only lay there, trying to come to my senses while my body refused to let me. This is what I wanted, what I begged for...and I wasn't going to let anything stop it.

But through my desire induced insanity, the clouds parted and I was granted one last moment of clarity. What the fuck was I doing?

Panic spread like ice through my chest and I could feel it stealing my breath away, gripping my lungs and not letting air in or out. My fingers gripped the paper beneath me and crinkled it. The edges of my vision were blurring and I realized that I was about to let a man who had been terrorizing the entire city-terrorizing me- for the past few months fuck me!

I had no time to react, no time to stop this.

Joker took his place between my thighs and I sucked in a single breath despite his hand around my throat and there was no more time to do anything. He pushed into me and I cried out from the feel of being stretched around him. I quickly brought one hand up to my mouth, covering it to keep my sounds quiet.

I didn't want anyone to hear. I didn't want any evidence that this was happening and yet, I didn't beg for him to stop.

Without giving me long enough to adjust, he pulled back and slammed into me all over again and I hated how good it felt. My fingers tightened around my mouth but he wasn't happy with that. He swatted my hand away and held it down against the table before leaning over me as he pushed his length inside me.

"Ah, ah, ah," he breathed, letting me feel the warmth of his words against my cheek. "I want to hear all of those filthy things you want to say, Natalie." I whimpered as his hands clenched around my throat. "So say it. Let me hear it."

All I could manage was a single, whispered word. "Fuck."

"Ah, there it is."

Again, he pulled out until I was sure he would slip out of me altogether before he thrust inside me once more. And it was then that I realized this was his way of letting me adjust to him. Joker brought his other hand to my face and I saw the reflection of the light catch the knife. The tip touched the wound on my bottom lip and I hissed at the sting of pain.

Above me, he grinned and dragged it across the cut once more and I could feel the sudden trickle of warmth drip down my chin. With the swipe of his thumb, he smeared the blood across my jaw and used his grip on my throat to lift me from the table.

I was helpless-nothing but a plaything to him. Still, I didn't stop him as he tilted his head and captured my lips in a kiss. I didn't stop him and instead, kissed him back with as much intensity as he had. Whether he could taste the blood mingling with the makeup on his tongue, I wasn't sure. I could, and it disgusted me how much I liked it.

Never breaking our kiss, he thrust harder into me, jarring the bones of my hips with each one and I was trapped between my terror and need for more. I kept one hand on the table to steady myself and gripped the sleeve of his shirt in the other.

It didn't matter if I was quiet or not. With each thrust inside me, the table knocked against the wall and anyone outside the room would be able to tell exactly what was happening in this room. Shame and humiliation lit my face and I squeezed my eyes tighter.

Would all of his men snicker and laugh? Would they talk about how much of a whore I was and hope they could have their turn when Joker grew tired of me?

Tears stung the back of my eyelids and I turned my head away, finally breaking our kiss so I could suck in a deep breath. I had hoped he wouldn't notice the drops seeping from the corner of my eyes, but he brushed them away with his thumb as he pounded harder into me.

"Oh, shh, shh, shh," he soothed, though it did no good to hear. "No tears, Natalie."

I opened my eyes and peered up at him through the haze of angry tears. Joker ducked his head and hissed against my ear.

"This is what you wanted, remember? What you begged for." The combination of his words and the feel of his cock moving in and out of me made me hate myself. I hated how the tension that had been pooled inside me was sinking lower and coiling tighter. Yes, I was getting what I wanted.

And he was getting what he wanted.

I nodded and used the grip on his shirt sleeve to bring myself up to him. At first, he pulled away and there was a sudden flash behind his gaze that I didn't recognize. He gave me no time to dwell on it before he masked it quickly and pressed his mouth to mine, keeping his fingers tight around my throat-tight enough to leave bruises.

With a groan against my mouth, Joker pulled me closer to the edge of the table and ignored my gasp of surprise. From here, he fucked me harder in an all new way and fire licked at my insides. It was as if from the moment I had first seen him, first smelled him in that penthouse, this had been building. Every time he spoke to me, every time he terrified me and confused me and chipped away at me, was one more step closer to this moment.

He had been right all along.

Joker's hand tightened around my throat to the point where I could feel his fingernails digging into my flesh. At one time, that would have disgusted me. Now I welcomed the pain of it.

I drank his kiss in, never wanting to taste anything but the strange, bitterness of his face paint and the sharp tang of blood. My breath was growing shallow from the pressure of his hand but I ignored the burn for air in my chest.

Each time he thrust into me, I could feel tiny tremors of pleasure ripple through me and I didn't want to stop him from giving me more. The race of thoughts in my head was fuzzy and I couldn't focus on anything aside from getting relief from this burning ache within me.

It's all I wanted.

And though I knew that tomorrow, I would hate myself and I wouldn't be able to look at myself, I didn't care.

This was what I wanted.

I whimpered into his kiss and though it sounded as if it were far away, I could hear my moans and the hitch of my breath between them. Fire filled every corner of my body and left me with no room for anything else. The muscles of my thighs quivered around his hips and my toes curled.

I needed to breathe but could find no air and my mouth opened as he pulled away just enough to peer down at me. Through the haze clouding my vision, I could see the corner of his lips twisted into a smirk and that was all it took.

The coil of heat and desire broke within me. Pleasure poured through me in wave after wave and I let my head fall back in a silent cry. The room tilted on its side and I felt the table at my back before I realized I was even falling.

Joker kept his pace in time with my orgasm, thrusting into me with every pulse and spasm of that torturous pleasure. He hooked one arm beneath my leg and let go of my throat, finally letting me drag in a shuddering breath that expanded my chest so quickly, my shoulders arched off the table.

Every tense muscle in my body relaxed all at once and I was left feeling like a ragdoll in the wake of my orgasm.

A doll that Joker wasn't through with yet.

Somehow-though I wasn't too sure he had ever abandoned it in the first place-he had that same knife back in his hands and the blade was cool against the underside of my breast. He traced a line down my ribs and to my navel, never letting up the relentless pace of his cock. With my hands free, I reached up to tangle my fingers into my hair.

I was coming down off my high, but not enough that I hated myself yet. I still wanted this-still wanted more.

The sharp sting of the blade across my flesh, right beneath my navel brought a hiss from my lips but he didn't stop. I brought one hand down to his wrist but for some reason, I did nothing to push him away. It wasn't enough to truly hurt me, though I'm sure he wanted nothing more than to hurt me.

It was just a small cut, something I would remember this by. Something to brand me.

I tried to imagine what shape he was carving into my flesh but his sudden, erratic pace distracted me. I opened my eyes and peered up at the ceiling, careful not to look at him. For some reason, it felt wrong to watch him...like I wasn't allowed.

Instead, I let him fuck me as hard as he wanted to, in any way he wanted to. I was his toy-his plaything to do with what he pleased. The thought made me close my eyes but not out of disgust or fear. I clamped my teeth over my lower lip, once more tasting the bitter taste of my own blood, and listened to his shuddering breaths.

It was the only sound he made as he fucked me. The knife had fallen away from my stomach and his hand moved to my hip, gripping me through the material of my dress still bunched around my waist. His fingers dug hard into my flesh and even through the many wrinkles of my dress, I knew I'd be bruised afterward.

Joker's hips slammed into me and I could feel the steady pace he had been keeping up slowly coming unraveled. He used the one arm beneath my leg to bring me closer to the table and I sucked in a sharp breath as he buried himself as deep inside me he could go and then...he stilled.

My lips parted as I felt the twitch of his cock inside me and like a sudden flood breaking through a dam, terror rushed through me. I sat up on my elbows and stared down at where our bodies met in horror. He just...

Joker didn't let the thought even fully form in my head. He brought his hand-the one still gripping the knife-back up to my throat. His thumb tilted my head back and I blinked up at him in shock. The grin that slowly spread across his face made me scowl and my eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Oh, Natalie," he purred, making me try to pull my face away from his hand. He held on tight and forced me to look at him once again. "There's that look again."

This time, he let me wrench away from him and he took advantage of the moment my head was turned to slip out of me. His hand fell away from my leg and I tipped forward, barely catching myself against his body before I could fall to the floor. He chuckled, the sound too close to my ear and I quickly turned my back to him before pulling my dress up around my chest.

The remnants of my bra and t-shirt laid in a crumpled heap on the table and I snatched them away from his stupid plans. When I stood up, slipping my arms into the straps of my dress, I felt a familiar trickle of warmth seep out of me and drip onto my thigh. I grimaced and whirled around to face him.

It was surprising to see his suspenders still hanging from his hips and the wrinkles in his tacky shirt, but what stopped me from saying anything was the sight of him straightening his blueprints. They were creased and a bit damp from sweat but he didn't seem to care. He simply placed his knives back on the corners to keep them straight and peered down at him like we hadn't just fucked on top of it all.

"So, that's it?" He lifted his head and stared at me, waiting for me to continue and I rolled my eyes. "What the fuck? I-I don't get it! I really don't get it."

One strap of my dress fell down my shoulder and I snatched it back into place. Joker's gaze flickered down to my throat and across my chest and I folded my arms over my chest. "Was that not what you wanted?"

I opened my mouth and immediately closed it again. Pursing my lips, I tried to push the shame away and eclipse it with anger and I was struggling. "I don't get what the hell just happened or why you had me open that savings account this morning. I don't understand anything you do to me, honestly."

" Natalie ," he said with a sigh, turning to face me while keeping his fingers tented on the blueprints. "You were hired to do a job . And you did it. Consider this "-he wagged his finger at me-"a perk."

"A perk," I repeated.

"Mm."

And with that, he turned back around and plucked the red sharpie from where it had rolled against the wall. I could do nothing but stand there and stare at him, fighting the whirlwind of emotions racing through me.

I awkwardly shifted on my feet and clutched the torn fabric of my clothes to my chest. "Can I go home?"

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you." He didn't even look up at me as he spoke.

"Why not?"

"We wouldn't want you to miss the fireworks."

Fireworks...the charges that I'd heard Daryl and the driver talking about earlier. So there was going to be an explosion. My stomach dropped inside me and I felt sick all of a sudden. Without another word, I made my way to the couch and sat down on it. The rough fabric was uncomfortable to my bare backside and I smoothed my skirt beneath me.

Here was a man responsible for terrorizing the entire city, for murdering countless people, for planning to kill more, and I let him fuck me. Worse than that, I let him come inside me and did nothing to stop it.

Now, all of the bruises and cuts he had marked into my skin burned with regret. I sat on the couch and stared at his back, fighting the burn of tears as his words repeated in my head.

Was this not what you wanted ?

It had been. I had begged for it. I had opened my legs to him and let him do what he wanted and in the end, he got exactly what he wanted as well.

He broke me.