Three days later, Anna's health had not improved. She spent hours in a delirious state due to the high fever, interspersed with moments of awakening during which she was too exhausted to even talk. During these moments, they tried to make her drink to prevent dehydration, as Dr Clarkson had advised. Mrs Hughes, Baxter, and Mrs Crawley took turns in watching her, sometimes helped by Daisy when she could spare a moment, and by Lady Mary, who came to check on her whenever she could get away from the preparations for the church bazaar her mother was holding in two days. Outside on Downton's green lawn, tents were built and stalls were installed. People were coming and going under the sun, oblivious to the drama that was unfolding in the guest room on the first floor where Anna was fighting for her life.
That evening, Dr Clarkson had once again come to check on her, and as he was feeling her pulse, he frowned. Mrs Crawley was sitting at Anna's side, and looked worried.
- She's having less and less conscious moments Dr Clarkson, I'm afraid it's not getting any better.
Dr Clarkson sighed.
- Her pulse is quickening, and her blood pressure is falling. Indeed I can only agree that it doesn't look good…
- Oh Lord… And her poor husband is still two days away on the ocean. He'll be devastated if he comes too late…
- I'm afraid I have done everything in my power here. We can only pray for her, for those of us who believe in an Almighty God…
At that moment, Lady Mary entered the room, and asked Clarkson:
- So, tell me Doctor, how is she?
- As I was just saying to Mrs Crawley, it's not getting any better. I am very worried. The infection seems to be getting stronger.
Hearing that, Lady Mary had a hard time holding her tears back.
- Is she going to die?
- I cannot say for sure milady, but I'm afraid it is becoming likely… I'm sorry.
- Oh my God… I only hope Bates will be back before… if anything should happen…
Tears were now rolling on Lady Mary's cheeks. She came close to Anna's bed, and took her hand. She felt from her touch that Anna was still hot with fever.
- Oh Anna… she cried. Please, fight. I would miss you so much… And Bates… He loves you so dearly, please fight for him.
Anna very lightly squeezed Lady Mary's hand as she said those words. Lady Mary straightened and continued in a stronger voice:
- You hear me Anna! You can't let it go! I know you've been through an awful lot lately. I wish you'd asked for help before it was too late. Please, keep fighting! Don't let it go. Your husband needs you… I need you, she admitted after a few seconds silence.
Wiping her tears, she turned back to Dr Clarkson, who still stood there, a bit embarrassed at being witness to Lady Mary's show of emotion. However, the Lady quickly put on her social facade again:
- Thank you Dr Clarkson for your good care. Would you like to stay for dinner? We are about to go in, I can easily have one more plate added.
- Thank you Lady Mary, this is so kind, but I have other patients to go see. I'll be back tomorrow.
He nodded to her and to Mrs Crawley as he made his exit.
x x x x
Somewhere on the Atlantic ocean
In his little cabin next to Lord Grantham's, Bates was out of his mind with worry. It had been three days since they had boarded the transatlantic ship, and it seemed to him it had been three centuries. He couldn't think of anything else than his beloved Anna, who was far away seriously sick, and he couldn't even have news of how she was doing. During the days, when he was not attending to Lord Grantham, he spent his time either walking the ship back and forth, trying to soothe his anxiety by movement, ignoring the pain in his knee, or writing unending letters to Anna, in which he poured his deepest feelings, hoping he could soon read them to her. At any time during each of these activities, he would burst into tears, cursing himself for having left her behind. He often took out from his wallet the little picture Anna had given him when he had been in prison. The picture was quite worn out from time now, but he still looked at it in wonder, cherishing his wife's beauty. Lately he had been reading a book of poetry by Robert Burns, and had discovered a poem named "The Gowden Locks of Anna". He read and re-read it dozens of times every day, until he knew it by heart. He wanted to tell it to Anna when he would at last be reunited with her. Meanwhile he told it to himself at night, and tears invariably came to his eyes as he hoped she could hear him in the distance. During the night, the few hours' sleep he managed to get were regularly interrupted as he woke up in a startle after having once more had a nightmare in which he came back to Downton only to find his wife on her death bed, without having told her how much he loved her.
x x x x
In Downton, the church bazaar was about to open on this bright sunny day. Downton's lawn looked like an anthill. The mood was light among the people from the village, but Downton's staff did not really have the heart into it, as the news from Anna were not good. Dr Clarkson's face had been even darker this morning when he had left her room. Anna had faded into unconsciousness during the previous night, and no stimulation had managed to wake her up. Her breath was labored, and she was still burning with fever. Mrs Hughes looked desperate as she stood by her bed, mopping her head again and again.
Outside on the lawn, Lady Mary was helping her mother supervising the bazaar. She did it reluctantly, as she would have preferred staying with Anna, but Cora had not left her any choice. Suddenly, Mary saw Lord Gillingham walking through the lawn, apparently searching for her. She went up to him and greeted him:
- Tony? But what are you doing here?
- Hello Mary, I've come because… I've had some disturbing news, and I wanted to share it with you. It's Green… He's dead.
Lady Mary looked shocked.
- Green? But how can he be dead?
- I'm only telling you what they told me. That he was in Piccadilly, and he… slipped or stumbled. Fell into the road.
- I don't know what to say…
- It seemed so odd after our conversation the other day that I felt that I should bring you the news myself. Can you explain to me now why you wanted him sacked?
Mary eyed him with a dark look.
- No… But know that he deserved his fate.
And she left Tony behind, walking to the House.
She walked straight to Anna's room, where Mrs Hughes still was watching her.
- Milady, said Mrs Hughes with a sad smile, getting up as Lady Mary entered the room.
- Mrs Hughes… I just learned that Green is dead.
- Oh… replied the Housekeeper. She turned back to glance at Anna's motionless form, and her face hardened as she added:
- Serves him right! I know this is not charitable, but I won't regret him!
Lady Mary came close to Anna, and bent over the bed to speak into Anna's ear.
- Did you hear me Anna? He's dead. He will never hurt you or anyone else ever again. Now you have to live! Your husband will be back soon! He should be here tonight!
x x x x
That evening, the gong had just rung, and Lady Mary was crossing the Great Hall to go to her room, when she saw Jimmy opening the door to Lord Grantham and Bates. She swiftly changed direction and exclaimed:
- Oh, Papa, you're back, thank God!
She kissed her father and turned to Bates:
- Bates, I'm so sorry… Dr Clarkson is with Anna right now, come with me, I'll show you to her room.
Bates turned to Lord Grantham, silently asking his permission to leave all the luggage behind.
- Go Bates! said the Lord. Jimmy will take care of all this.
Bates did not need being told twice, and followed Lady Mary as fast as his bad knee would let him.
When he entered Anna's room and saw his wife's small figure on the bed, he thought his heart would shatter into a million pieces. The doctor was finishing his check-up, and concluded sadly that things had not improved since the morning, although they had not worsened either. He got away from the bed to allow Bates to come near Anna. Bates stumbled on his knees beside the bed, and cried as he took her hand into his and pressed it on his cheek:
- Oh Lord, Anna… My darling…
Despair took him over as he broke into harsh sobs. Mrs Hughes came behind him and put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.
- We're all so sorry Mr Bates.
Hearing her voice brought him back to the world. He straightened, pushed on his cane to get up and turned his tears-stained face to the doctor.
- What has happened Doctor? How bad is it?
He dreaded the answer and was not sure he really wanted to hear it, but he had to know.
- Mr Bates, started the doctor. Were you aware of your wife's condition?
Bates frowned. What was he talking about?
- I don't understand, what condition?
- You did not know about your wife being pregnant?
- What?! No! She was not pregnant! She would have told me!
Mrs Hughes and Lady Mary were exchanging worried looks behind Dr Clarkson. They both feared Bates's reaction at learning the whole story. He was surely going to be devastated.
- Mr Bates, I'm afraid there was a lot of things your wife had not told you. She is currently suffering from a very serious genital infection, due to complications of a clandestine abortion.
Bates stood stunned for a few seconds, at a total loss for words. His Anna would never have done such a thing, when they had been hoping for a child for so long… This didn't make any sense to him.
- You… no… You must be wrong. This is impossible. Anna would never have done that. We were trying for a child. You… you said it was a kidney infection, he stuttered.
Mrs Hughes came to Bates, and put a hand on his arm, lightly squeezing.
- Mr Bates, let us explain. You remember the night of the House Party, when she told you she had fainted and hit her head.
He did remember pretty well that night. It was when their life had started unraveling. Mrs Hughes went on:
- Well, she had not fainted. She had been assaulted by Mr Green, Lord Gillingham's valet.
- What!? roared Bates.
- She confided in me about the attack, but made me promise not to tell you, because she feared you would go after Green, and be arrested again.
He felt ashamed, because he had to admit that it was exactly what he would like to do at that precise moment.
- And a few weeks later, it turned out that she was pregnant.
Bates suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of that bastard's child growing inside his sweet Anna.
- She was terribly ashamed. She didn't even tell me nor Lady Mary. Only Baxter knew. That's the reason she turned to an abortionist.
- Oh my God…
Bates suddenly stumbled on his feet, and Lady Mary only had time to move the chair for him to crumble down on it. He felt so overwhelmed by Mrs Hughes's account. He felt like his whole world was crashing down around him, leaving him a pile of rubble. He suddenly clenched his fists, and whispered in a dangerous voice, darting the darkest of looks to Mrs Hughes:
- This man will pay for what he's done to her.
- Mr Bates, replied Mrs Hughes. This man is already dead. You should focus on your wife.
- Oh. Well. Good riddance.
He closed his eyes for a moment, then got up again.
- Doctor? Is she going to make it?
Dr Clarkson sighed and looked down:
- I don't know Mr Bates. I'm not very optimistic. I'm so sorry. I've done everything I could, but the infection is very serious. She's been unconscious for the best part of twenty-four hours now.
Tears were again shining in Bates's eyes. He whispered:
- Thank you Doctor.
He looked around and asked:
- Would you leave me alone with my wife?
- Of course, whispered Lady Mary, as she motioned for the others to get out.
As the three of them found themselves in the hallway, Lady Mary loudly exhaled:
- Oh Lord, what a nightmare… Poor Bates, learning all this at once.
- I can only agree m'lady… sighed Mrs Hughes.
Inside the room, Bates stroked Anna's cheek, and kissed her on her forehead.
- Anna, my darling, I'm so sorry…
His voice cracked as sobs escaped again from his lips.
- Why… Why didn't you talk to me… I love you so much… My darling Anna...
He took her hand, kissed it and rested it again on his cheek. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and started softly reciting:
- Yestreen I had a pint o' wine,
A place where body saw na;
Yestreen lay on this breast o' mine
The gowden locks of Anna.
The hungry Jew in wilderness,
Rejoicing o'er his manna,
Was naething to my hinny bliss
Upon the lips of Anna.
Ye monarchs, take the East and West
Frae Indus to Savannah;
Gie me, within my straining grasp,
The melting form of Anna
There I'll despise Imperial charms,
An Empress or Sultana,
While dying raptures in her arms
I give and take wi' Anna!
Awa, thou flaunting God of Day!
Awa, thou pale Diana!
Ilk Star, gae hide thy twinkling ray,
When I'm to meet my Anna!
Come, in thy raven plumage, Night,
(Sun, Moon, and Stars, withdrawn a';)
And bring an angel-pen to write
My transports with my Anna!
The Kirk an' State may join an' tell,
To do sic things I maunna:
The Kirk an' State may gae to hell,
And I'll gae to my Anna.
She is the sunshine o' my e'e,
To live but her I canna;
Had I on earth but wishes three,
The first should be my Anna.
Yes, I know, I'm being nasty, I keep torturing you! Will she make it... Let's see in next chapter...
(I thank another fanfiction writer, Theglamourfades, for the poem that she used in her own fanfic "A return to Scotland". I borrowed it, since it is so beautiful and so accurate for our favourite couple!)