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I lay in shock on the library floor, still in a state of disbelief at the transformation I'd just made. The sound of someone approaching snapped me out of my daze and I jumped up from the floor just in time to see Aro come around the corner.
"Luíseach, hrysó mou, are you okay?," he asked, absentmindedly holding out his hand, his head still in the book he was reading. I declined, not quite ready to share this experience with anyone else just yet.
"Perfectly fine, just...um...escaping from Caius," I stuttered as calmly as I could.
"Surely his training sessions haven't become that unbearable, I thought you enjoyed them," Aro jested, looking up from his book. He didn't show any outward suspicion towards the open window I was standing next to, but his jab about Caius definitely got to me.
Thinking about him pained me still, and knowing that he had feelings for me, despite already having a mate, confused matters even more. At that moment, I made my decision.
"It's not that I don't enjoy training, I just think I'd do better if someone else trained me," I almost pleaded, hoping he'd catch my drift.
"But why ever would you want someone else to train you? It would be detrimental to your and Caius's...ahem...relationship," he replied.
"Then all the more reason," I confessed enthusiastically. Honestly speaking, I hoped to distance myself from my feelings in the hopes that whatever tension was between us could fizzle out. Aro raised an eyebrow and again held out his hand for me to take. I complied. It was quicker and easier to show him everything, maybe my newly discovered limits would pique his interest enough to take me on as his personal student.
"Touché Luíseach, that's quite some leverage indeed," he smiled, "of course I'll train you, we wouldn't want any accidents to happen. It would be such a shame to lose you to Caius's temper when you have so much potential," he smiled, reaching out to pat my shoulder supportively.
"I'll ask him to give you some space in light of your recent discovery, I want you completely focused on pushing your skills to their limits," he continued. Of course I could count on Aro's power-hungry tendencies to get what I wanted. Well, not exactly what I wanted, but it was better than incurring the chaos of home-wrecking a millennia-long marriage.
No longer clouded by my newborn thoughts of blood, blood and more blood and without the distraction of being trained by Caius, I barely noticed the next few centuries passing. Aro was effective in his teaching, but something about his tamer methods left me feeling never quite fulfilled in my abilities.
Whilst the pain of transformations into other vampires had become no more than a pin prick to the finger, mainly thanks to the comparison of cross-species shifting, Aro and I established pretty early on that I couldn't emulate the specific gift of that vampire, only the specific physical capabilities they possessed. For example, Constantinus's extra strength came thanks to his build, so shifting into him gave me this ability too, however, mental capabilities such as Aro's could not be emulated because my brain remained my own.
Centuries of training had now instilled me with the strength to transform without the need of physical contact. Of course, it was needed for the initial exchange, but after I'd changed into someone once, I could do it again. I'd got quite good at imitating scent too. Enough that I could probably fool someone not part of that vampire's coven, which was very helpful for recon missions.
Being part of the guard now, I was entrusted to follow tip-offs given by vampires who passed through the city. I'd often shift into a bird to travel as it was a little less conspicuous. Plus it tended to work well as a back up when facing a possible threat.
Many of those who had been part of the guard when I joined had moved on in one way or another. Vito had fallen victim to the Romanian coven. I couldn't help but feel some regret towards his loss, as it was thanks to him that the Volturi had found me in the first place. However, my unbeating heart was almost reanimated with joy when we lost Constantinus. We had never got on, due to our rocky start, but when Aro found out he'd been conspiring against the coven, the wrath he dealt him was more than I could have hoped for. I had not been happier since the fall of Rome. Old habits.
My gift came in a little too handy for espionage. Decades of ignoring each others' existence later, Caius and I treated each other as strangers most of the time. However, I had used my little gift for nefarious purposes more than once; a fact of which I was sure he was more than aware.
The first time, I did it out of curiosity; to see what I was missing out on. I was uncomfortable with the idea of being a peeping tom, but my attraction to him had not faded one bit all these years. For a brief moment, the passion of seeing his unobstructed physique cherishing the silhouette of his mate outweighed the guilt and shame the action brought me. I wished it was I that his lust was preoccupying. Sometimes I hoped so much that I convinced myself that I heard my name leaving his lips. Alas the shame would always force me to flee. But the desire would always entice me back.
Aro said nothing to me about this, as long as it was my way of dealing with my feelings, however morally questionable, it was not causing him any quarrel. He was more preoccupied with a new and dangerous trend that seemed to be sweeping the vampire world. Immortal children.
Incapable of controlling their thirst or recognising the pertinence of our laws, it was regrettable that we had to make the decision to dispose of these children. No one was happy about it, but to subject a child so small to the pain of vampire transformation was just as heartless as the act of putting it out of its misery.
The appeal was clear to see though, everyone at least once had thought about what it would be like to have a child. Especially when one has eternity awake. But to be forever frozen at an infantile stage of development was a curse in itself. I hoped one day that I might be able to control my thirst enough to raise an abandoned human child, but whenever a thought like this crossed my mind, I would push it aside. My role in the coven required me to be unobstructed by distractions or emotions.
Aro on the other hand had taken an interest in two young children from my homeland. According to the memory of a visiting nomad, they had already begun to display signs of strong psychic abilities at such a young age. Of course, Aro wanted them to join us as his research into vampire gifts suggested that these abilities would only become stronger with the addition of eternal life.
Impatient as ever, Aro had to stop himself from going to the British Isles to change them there and then, so as not to break his own rules against immortal children. Imagine his horror, when less than a decade later, the very same nomad came to tell Aro that the village had decided to burn the children as witches.
That was the first time I'd seen Aro more formidable than Caius. Everyone in the guard stayed silent as he quickly formulated a plan. Charmion, Constantinus's replacement Felix, our new tracker Carina, the other two largest members of the guard and I were whisked away immediately on this impromptu excursion.
The journey was tense to say the least. Aro refused to stop and eat despite us all being thirsty. He didn't want to risk losing the twins.
With the help of Carina, who could track places based on the mental image of it (she'd be boss at Geoguesser), we arrived in time to witness two small terrified faces obscured by a thick and nebulous smoke. Transporting as much water as possible from the nearby river, we managed to extinguish the fire before the two children were completely lost to it. Aro took care of the villagers and bit the two youths.
The boy looked as though he had evaded the worst of the inferno as he was pulled from the ashes choking on the fumes but still conscious. His sister on the other hand had been badly burnt and lay completely limp. Luckily the villagers' blood kept us all enough under control to resist finishing the fire's job.
Aro didn't want to risk moving the twins until they'd awoken, especially with the girl's fragile state. But after a day or so, it became apparent that his venom was doing its job, which calmed down his panic and put the rest of us at ease. Within just a day or two, we'd be able to take the twins back to Volterra.
Waiting out the time, we travelled in groups of two or three to scope out the area for possible hunting grounds for the children. There were plenty of small settlements nearby that would do the trick.
My homeland had changed a lot since I was last here. The country was now fractured into Anglo-Saxon kingdoms, but luckily the Celtic lands had united under the Britons. The landscape was now dotted with churches, no doubt first introduced by the Roman empire. Organised religion was an odd addition to the green landscape. As a person who'd grown up worshipping the animism of nature above anything else, it was a concept that I didn't quite grasp.
Although I felt the pull of nostalgia to this place, I couldn't help but feel that it was no longer my home. That I'd outgrown it. Maybe it was because it brought me closer to my human life than anywhere else, but I felt as if a future here would only leave me empty. The era in which I lived was over. Everyone I knew, dead and buried.
I decided to speak to Aro, the eldest of us all here.
"How do you keep moving forwards, seeing everything change around you?" I asked him, as he stood watching over the twins, their injuries almost healed. Sharing my thoughts with him, a look of understanding and pity spread over his face.
"There's no way to ever truly avoid this feeling. I would say the best thing to do is to become involved in the change yourself, then it doesn't seem so polarising when you look back. But never forget who you once were. I believe that we are gifted with this memory of ours to ensure that our past never truly leaves us. So we can continue to learn whilst not having to immerse ourselves in our birth culture," he lamented.
"Take Caius for example," he continued and I held back the hiss that was about to escape at the mention of his name, "the only reason he and Athenodora have stayed so close all this time is that they are both from the same era. Deep down, it's that comfort we seek. But no one can outrun destiny forever. We must either move with it, or be lost to the past."
I didn't reply, choosing instead to digest his words. I guess I did try to hold onto anything I could from my human life. The songs. The memories. The customs. Maybe accepting that things were always destined to change was the first step. Maybe I'd be able to feel at home once more here if I did this. For the way of life I cherished died before I became like this. Whether or not I died a mortal death or lived for eternity, nothing I did could ever change the fact that our modest way of life was always destined to one day change.
Or maybe the way forward was to confront my feelings for Caius. To stop denying the force pulling us together. Vampires were certainly more instinctual than humans, surely this was an innate sense to push us onto the path that we needed to be on.
I was roused from my thoughts by the now erratic heartbeats of the twins - a sure sign that their transformation was nearly complete. Aro rounded up the rest of the guard and we stood a good distance away, unsure of what powers exactly they would display.
Next chapter, I promise! ;)