Prompt 9# The Birth of Eustace

There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he certainly did not deserve it. He was a baby, for crying out loud!

Mary marched into the Director of Birth, Deaths and Marriages' office, her fists clenched and her face set.
"Sir, may I have a moment of your time?" She said, reigning in her impatience. This had to be handled right, or else a great injustice would be committed.

The Director looked up from a stack of papers that were currently gracing his desk. Seeing the look on Mary's face, he set them aside.

"You may. What's on your mind, Ms Williams?"

"Sir, I am in the midst of finalising a birth certificate to one Mr and Mrs Scrubb and I am greatly disturbed with the name they have chosen for their baby boy."

"That sounds serious, what name have they chosen?"

"Eustace Clarence," Mary said with a wince.

The Director cringed as well but had to admit that it wasn't as bad as he'd expected. There were worse names than 'Eustace', or even 'Clarence', and he knew this because there had been many an awful name that had crossed his office over the years. This name could hardly call to mind the horrors of 'Fartwell', 'Bony', or…well, other names that simply should not be repeated aloud. *

"While the name is certainly not ideal, neither is it actually offensive, and thus…" The Director trailed off, smiling sympathetically at his young employee. It was a tough blow, but there was nothing to be done. The boy in question would just have to live with his parents' choice and, if it truly was that bad, change it when he reached eighteen.

"But Sir!" Mary exclaimed, "Surely it is our job to protect this helpless child from-" but the Director cut her off.

"Ms Williams, I know you are new to this job, so I will forgive your impertinence this once. In relation to the giving of names, it is neither our job nor our prerogative to vet the names of the children born in this country. The only time we would even consider stepping in is if the name is actually offensive. I now kindly ask you to get back to your work, unless there was anything else?"

Mary sighed unhappily, "No sir, thank you sir."

It seemed that this child, wholly innocent in the matter, was going to be forced to bear the name anyway, despite Mary Williams' best efforts. She only hoped that this boy never grew to deserve it.

And that, my dear niece and nephew, is why you should be grateful for your names. Jackson and Ophelia are perfectly reasonable names and you shouldn't complain!

*So, I looked up 'Worst Baby Names' and the list was…extensively horrifying. Seriously. Everything from actual swear words, genitalia, and sad little names like 'One Too Many' – I mean SERIOUSLY? WHAT POOR YOUNGEST CHILD GETS CALLED 'ONE TOO MANY'? It's just so cruel and literally says 'we didn't want you' in big neon letters which is truly awful.

Author's Note:
So, I had the idea from the fact that Lewis truly seems to think that 'Eustace Clarence Scrubb' is an awful name since Eustace 'almost deserved it' at the time of VDT. Then I actually looked at some bad names...oh boy, Eustace is an angelic name in comparison, but anyway.
This is short but it's what happens when I'm stuck for time and tired :) Hopefully its still somewhat enjoyable.
Trix