"Chloe, I'm worried about you. I haven't seen you properly in weeks." Ange happened to be in the lift with her daughter.

"I'm not 12 anymore mum. I can look after myself."

"Well I would like to see my daughter from time to time. Lunch in Pulses, say 12.30?"

"I'm busy."

"Everyone's entitled to a lunch break, even if they are working for Jac Naylor."

"Fine then, whatever." Chloe agreed begrudgingly.

"Looking forward to it." Ange said as she stepped out of the lift.

Chloe remembered the first time her mum had found out about her self harm. It had been Zuzannas fault really. At 15 what Zuzanna lacked in English language skills, she made up for in artistic talent. She was always up in the art room. Chloe has been doing well. She would cut herself then get angry and cry (never so her mum or anyone could hear) then be good for a few days then something would happen and she wouldn't be able to cope and she'd need to cut and the whole damn cycle would start again.

On the day mum found out She'd got a C in a biology test. Biology was ment to be her best subject. She was ment to be a doctor and, to make things worse Fi was off sick. When they got their tests back Josh, a pain in the neck boy in her class had said "and your mums a doctor, you're obviously the family disappointment."

"Piss off Josh and get a life." Sophie said. "Don't listen to him Chloe." Eilidh added. "A C isn't that bad"

"Yeah." Sophie added "and you were so sick when we did that test, you could barely sit upright, your Gran came and picked you up."

The teacher dismissed them and came up to Chloe. "What happened Chloe, You've never not got an A in one of my classes"

"I dunno. I didn't feel that well that day."

"Don't worry about it, you're free to come and retake it one lunchtime if you'd like after you've had a chance to study some more. You need those grades to be a doctor like you hope."

"Yes please Miss."

"Next Tuesday, that gives you the weekend." The kind teacher smiled.

"You want to come grab lunch with us Chlo-bow?" Eilidh asked.

"No thanks, I think I'll go look over my notes in the library. Do some corrections and all that."

She walked off towards the library. Dissappointment,failure, rape baby, monster, unloved. She began to feel panicky, her breathing began to quicken and she knew she had to do something there was no way she'd be able to do any studying when her head was like this and she knew only one way to stop it. She had taken the razor out of her bag to stop her being able to hurt herself, But she needed it now, when she didn't have it. She knew that they would have scalpels in the biology storeroom but that was kept locked, knives in the food tech room but the evil teacher Mrs Robertson was always in there. They had craft knives in art. That was her best bet. She went up to the art rooms there were 3, the two young female teachers where chatting in one, a younger year art club run by the older years in another and, in the final room was Zuzanna quietly painting on her own. Chloe tried to go in quietly but Zuzanna looked up. "Chloe, hello, is you ok, you look sad, you breath fast." she said concernedly in her sweet Slovak accent.

"I'm fine Zuzanna." She said quickly in an exhale slipping a craft knife up her sleeve and leaving the room.

Zuzanna was confused but all she knew was Chloe was upset and tried to sneak a craft knife. She went to the room the teachers were in. "Miss?"

"Hello Zuzanna, hows that painting going."

"Ok. I can't do the eyes rightly Urm but Chloe Goddard came in, and she was sad I think, and I think that she took a knife off the shelf. I am worried for her."

The teachers looked at each other. "Thanks for telling us Zuzanna. I'm sure Chloe will be fine. She probably just needed it for a project or something." The teacher lied seeing how worried Zuzanna was. "Don't worry. I'll find Chloe and then come and help you with those eyes."

The teachers looked at each other again after Zuzanna left the room. "I'll go look," the older teacher said "you ring Camilla Mcmillan her head of year and Caroline Edwards the head of pastoral care and maybe the school nurse. Would rather be over cautious. Then wait here in case she comes back. We might be panicking over nothing."

Chloe thought Zuzanna hadn't seen her grab the knife. She ran down the back stairs and found a music room with nobody in it. She thought no one would find her she knew the only people who used the practice rooms were music geeks or couples who wanted to make out. She pulled up her shirt and vest and made horizontal cuts along her tummy. The knife wasn't that sharp but she could still draw blood and that calmed her mind, made her forget the scary thoughts and finally she felt like she could breathe. Since the art teacher had rang around the other teachers half the staff were looking for Chloe. The art teacher was the first to find her. "Chloe?" The teacher said since her student hadn't looked up when she entered the room. Chloe looked up eyes wide. Terrified. "Hey, hey, it's okay, Chloe. Can you please give that knife to me."

Chloe continued staring at the teacher in shock and mortified she'd been caught so the teacher took the knife from her hand and sat a silent Chloe down on the piano stool. "Chloe, it's okay, you're not in trouble, we want to help you, take some deep breaths." The teacher took some deep breaths partly to help Chloe and partly for herself. They didn't teach you had to deal with situations like this at uni so she took her phone out of her pocket and text the head of year. Music practice room 3. She's safe.

The head of year Mrs Macmillan came in. And looked at the art teacher to leave. "Chloe. We need to talk. Firstly, do you need medical attention?"

Chloe shook her head. "Are you sure?" Chloe nodded. "Come along to my office please" she said and Chloe followed her to the office. Mrs Mcmillan motioned to a seat and Chloe sat down. Miss Mcmillan poured her a glass of water and Chloe took it and drank. Mrs Edwards thé head of pastoral care came in and since there wasn't another seat just sat on the floor. "Chloe," Mrs Edwards said "have you done this before?"

Chloe stayed silent "Chloe" she lightly nodded her head. "Do you need medical attention?"

She shook her head the teachers looked at each other and Mrs Mcmillan shrugged. "Ok, can you tell us what happened"

"I don't know really" Chloe whispered.

"Is your mum aware of what's going on?" Mrs Edwards asked.

"You can't tell her." Chloe said worriedly

"You need her support."

"You don't know my mum. You don't know she'll even support me." Chloe pleaded

"Chloe, we don't have a choice. We have a duty of care over you which means we have to talk to your parents or carers." Mrs Mcmillan added.

"We will ring your mum and ask her to pick you up. You're not in the right state to go to lessons right now."

"Please please don't . She'll be working, can you ring my Gran instead. Here's her number, her names Sheila or a man might answer he's called Bernard just ask to talk to Sheila. Gran can pick me up."

"Yes, that's ok. Do you have a book you can read or some music you can listen to right now, you can stay in this office." Chloe nodded and stuck her headphones in her ears. It seemed like forever until the teachers came back. "We've spoken to your gran and she's going to pick you up, in about 20 minutes. But she's asked me to talk to your mum too so I will ring her now." Tears escaped Chloe's eyes and the teacher felt for her. "I'm sorry Chloe. But I don't have a choice."

The teacher escorted her to the car park when gran arrived. Gran opened her arms to hug her granddaughter and as she did Chloe burst into tears. "Let's get you home darling. To my house anyway." Gran spoke to her like Chloe was a small child, but that's what Chloe needed. The car ride was pretty quiet so Gran put the radio on. "Is grandpa at home?" Chloe whispered. "No darling. I sent him to the bowls club with Frank and Kenneth, you know how Grandpa is." Chloe's grandfather was a lovely and loving man but he believed women should talk but men shouldn't be involved.

"Darling, why don't you go up to your room and put your pyjamas on, then bring your duvet downstairs. How does that sound hey?" Although Chloe lived with her mum she had a room at her Grandparents' home. She had basic clothing there too, underwear, pyjamas ect. Chloe came downstairs with her duvet and her old teddy. As she sat on the sofa Gran placed a plate of biscuits and a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her. But Chloe didn't touch them, which wasn't like her at all. Grans old dog Bracken sat by the sofa, sensing Chloe was upset. Gran sat on the sofa by Chloe, hoping to help her to feel safe. Chloe had her feet tucked up beneath her Gran pulled Chloe close, like she used to when Chloe was a small child.

Ange, Chloe's mother burst into the house and into the living room. "Chloe what the hell?" She shouted causing the dog to run away. "I'm here for you when i should be at work looking after people who are actually ill through no fault of their own. Why would you do this?" Ange continued to should "Ange" Gran said standing up, but Ange continued "What's wrong with you? Show me! Show me what you've done to yourself."

"ANGEL.STOP!" Gran put her hands on her daughter's shoulders "this isn't helping Chloe." Chloe had pulled her duvet over her head to try and escape her mums anger.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry' Ange said trying to pull the duvet off Chloe's head but she just buried herself deeper inside the duvet. "Chloe, I'm sorry I shouted at you!" She said to her daughters form under the duvet. "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself for not spotting how distressed you were." Ange heard Chloe's breathing quicken. "Chloe, it's okay, you're safe, mummy's here." Ange said and Chloe's head peeped out from under the duvet. "Can I have a cuddle." Ange asked and Chloe nodded . Ange sat on the sofa and cuddled her daughter into her. "You're safe Chloe, I'm so sorry" Ange murmured "mummy's here now. But darling, school told me you refused medical care. You have to let me see."

"No. Mum it's fine."

"You're not qualified to make that decision Chloe. If you don't let me see I'll have to take you to the hospital."

Chloe shrugged and lifted her daughters pyjama tip. She tried to hide her gasp as she saw not only the angry red cuts made today but other healing cuts across her daughters milk bottle white skin. The cuts had mostly scabbed over so Ange left them. She sat back down and saw her daughters face. Tears running down her cheeks, ashamed and embarrassed. "Chloe, I want you to know, I love you so so much, and nothing that has happened or will happen in the future will ever change that. You're my lovely, lovely daughter she kissed Chloe's head and Chloe, exhausted lay across the sofa with her head on her mums legs. Ange stroked Chloe's hair and, exhausted by all the emotion Chloe fell asleep. She looked so angelic and young when she was sleeping. Only then, Ange let her tears fall. She moved and put a cushion under her daughters head. Sheila, Ange's mother and Chloe's grandmother hugged her daughter. "Why would she do this?"

"I don't know love, she's a teenager. I mean look what you did."

"Ok so I snuck off for a concert and had a one night stand and got pregnant. I didn't hack into my flesh with a knife. How much must she hate herself to do that."

"Oh love." Shelia didn't know what to say.

"Seeing those cuts, some where about 6 weeks old. I told her about her dad about 6 weeks ago. What if that's it, if that's the reason. Or if it's something within her, from him."

"She deserved to know, however difficult it was for you to tell her and her to hear."

"This is all my fault, all of it. Who tells a 15 year old girl that her father was a rapist. I just told her. Look at her, she's only 15." Ange sobbed

"Why don't you take some time, go for a walk around the block." Sheila soothed

"No, I need to be here when she wakes up." Ange said looking at her daughter sleeping on the sofa. "Ok," Sheila said "let me make you a cup of tea at least"

"Ok,ok"

"And why don't you splash some cold water on your face. You don't want Chloe to see you've been crying, I think we need to help her feel safe."

About 15 minutes later Chloe started to stir. "Oh hello darling."

"I can't believe I fell asleep." She said stretching. "Sorry"

"Don't apologise sweetie, you've had an odd day." Sheila (Gran) said. "I've got some pizzas in the fridge, how does that sound?"

"Great." Ange smiled. Chloe barely ate any of her pizza but Ange and Sheila didn't want to say anything. "Mum, Gran, can I stay the night here?" She asked.

"Fine by me," Gran smiled.

"Of course." Ange said and turned to Chloe's Gran "mum can I stay in the spare room?" Although Chloe had a room at her grandparents Ange didn't but stayed in the spare room from time to time.

"I think I'll just have a shower and go to bed if that's okay." Chloe said.

"Okay sweetie." Ange said. Ange followed Chloe upstairs to change into something more comfy. She had some clothes in the wardrobe in Chloe's room. Her old room. She found some leggings and a baggy top and put them on. She smiled wryly that even on a hard day Chloe could still annoy her by leaving her school uniform screwed up on the floor. She picked up Chloe's skirt and shirt and straightened them out on a chair then picked up her vest, she saw the blood on it and couldn't stop the tears from falling