The next day, Eliza found herself alone with young William. Johnny and Isobel were out doing whatever engaged couples do and the elder Dunsanys were doing whatever wealthy, noble people do with their free time.

Willie usually hung out with his nanny, but he had begged her to let him be with Eliza for the day. It took some convincing from him, but the nanny reluctantly agreed. Eliza didn't mind of course, the little boy was a welcome distraction from the uncertainty that was her life at the moment.

She knelt down in front of him, "So, your Grace, what shall we do today?"

"We should see Mac, you can watch me ride like you promised!"

She was pretty sure that she made no such promise, but seeing the excitement in the boy's eyes warmed her heart. Of course the thought of seeing Jamie again didn't have an effect on her at all. Not at all. None whatsoever. Well...maybe a little.

They made their way to the stables, Willie skipped along holding Eliza's hand, babbling on about his horse, with not a care in the world. She laughed at his happiness and skipped along right with him.

Jamie was unloading the last bales of hay from the cart when he heard them. The sight of them laughing and skipping brought a smile to his face. Seeing his son and Lady Eliza together gave him a special feeling in his heart that he couldn't describe.

After yesterday, he couldn't deny the feelings that arose in him whenever he was in Eliza's presence. The way his heart clenched when he thought Eliza was coming from her own engagement party was almost too much for him to bare. Of course he was attracted to her, a blind man would be and yes, he had a fondness for her. He may even call it an infatuation of sorts, but he could never act on it.

He didn't know much about her but he knew that he was much older than her. And besides that, he didn't have anything to offer her in terms of being a prospect for marriage, he was not what one would call respectable. Although yesterday proved to him that she was not like other women and probably wouldn't care about such things.

She was head strong, fiercely independent, and she could obviously take care of herself with the way she pinned him down yesterday. And there was something about the way she spoke so boldly, like she didn't care about what people thought of her, it almost reminded him of his wif-

"Mack! Mack!" His thoughts were interrupted by his illegitimate son flinging his arms around his legs with such force he almost toppled over.

"Whoa there! Careful, bhalaich! Ye'll knock down the whole stables."

He looked up at Jamie sheepishly, still holding on to him. "Can we go for a ride Mack, please? I want Lady Eliza to come with us down to the woods. Please, Mack, please!"

"The woods? Ye ken ye're not allowed that far from the house, Willie."

"But we've done it before and it'll only be for a little while, no one will have to know! And besides Lady Eliza will say it's okay and grandfather can not be mad at her." He hugged Jamie's legs tighter and looked up at him with his big beautiful blue eyes, pleading with him.

Jamie looked up from his adorable, manipulative little son and met Eliza's eyes that were full of surprise.

"I spose ye didna ken that's what ye were in for."

She laughed at Willie's antics. "No, I was told that I was just to be a spectator for a bit. And I don't think it would be a good idea to sneak around with my gracious host's grandson to places where he should not be."

Willie had turned towards her and she saw his shoulders fall at her words. She walked closer to him and dropped to her knees to be eye level with him and whispered to him in a loud, conspiratorial voice.

"But I suppose if he doesn't know about it, it won't hurt him...just this once."

Willie threw his arms around her and cheered, but Eliza held him back for a moment.

"I mean that is...only if it's okay with Jam- Mac" she looked up at the said Scotsman with a timid look.

He smiled softly, "Aye, it's okay wit me."

The three of them had a lovely day riding through the property, enjoying the warm weather. When they arrived back to the stables, Willie's nanny was waiting for him, tapping her foot. Exclaiming that the young Earl was late for his lunch and tutoring lesson, she gave Eliza a dirty look and promptly dragged the boy away.

Eliza and Jamie looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"Oops." Eliza said while trying to smother her giggles. Jamie looked at her then with something that she could only describe as a smoldering look. Her butterflies were back and they had brought all of their friends. She cleared her throat and sat down at the very same bench from yesterday. Jamie blinked and then sat down beside her. Keeping as much distance from her as he could.

They sat there in comfortable silence, enjoying the heat from the sun.

"So...what were you praying about last night?" Eliza decided to break the silence, her curiosity getting the best of her.

Jamie looked at her, startled. He was surprised by the question and was not sure how much he wanted to tell her.

"I was...talking to my wife, actually." He answered after a moment of indecision.

It was Eliza's turn for her jaw to drop open. She tried to ignore the tight squeeze of her heart. "Your wife? I...I didn't know you were married?"

"I was...I uh-I lost her...twas a long time ago."

"I'm sorry, James. Is that who you were thinking of yesterday? The person you lost."

"Aye, but...not only her, my daughter, my son, my parents, my brothers. So many good souls have left this earth, but for some cruel reason, I reckon, I was spared, stuck here without them."

Eliza was quiet for a long time. She could feel her heart breaking for him. She had felt like she was the only one who had lost so many people. The only one destined to be alone forever. Yet here was a man. A normal, human man who had suffered just as much, if not more than her. And he was still standing, he was still TRYING. It was people like him that made her want to give a damn, that made her not give up. She was starting to see why John felt so strongly for him, why SHE felt strongly for him.

"I know what you mean." She said quietly.

He looked down at her, "Usually I wouldna think so, but for some reason, I believe that ye do know and I am sorry ye've had to feel what I have felt, lass."

"I am sorry for you too...but we wouldn't be who we are now, we wouldn't know what it's like to love someone, what it's like to have a gift and to appreciate it while you have it."

"Aye."

"Tell me about her."

"Who?"

"Your wife, silly."

Jamie hesitated, "Oh, I - I uh- Claire, her name was Claire."

"That's a beautiful name, was she Scottish ?"

He laughed, "No, no, she was a sass- was British, she had uh- got lost and wound up in Scotland where I met her. We were kind of forced to marry not long after we met but I loved her deeply, I always did and I still do." He hadn't spoken of her in so long, it felt wrong yet right at the same time.

"How long were you together?"

"About 3 years and then... " he swallowed thickly and stood up and walked a few feet away from Eliza, turning his back to her. He fell silent, unable to continue.

"I'm sorry, James, I shouldn't of asked."

"It's alright, I just...I dinna usually speak of her to anybody. I havena even said her name out loud in many years."

"She was very lucky to have you, someone who loved her so much."

He turned back towards Eliza, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. "Nah, I was the lucky one."

He sat back down next to her, a comfortable silence fell over them until Jamie's curiosity got the better of him.

"Have you ever...have you ever been in love?"

She didn't know why she was surprised that he asked. She was nosing her way into his business, it was only fair for her to share as well...only a little of course.

"Yes." She said quietly. "A long time ago, he-he was my first...everything. "

"But ye didna marry?"

"No, but I think...we were together when I was very young, we were happy. I loved him so much and I knew he felt the same but then...something happened and we couldn't...we couldn't be together anymore, not really. We tried for a while, but he left me, thinking that it was best for me. He didn't think he was good enough for me."

James watched her as she spoke. She kept her voice stable, quiet, but he could hear the misery in her words, could see the sadness in her posture. He felt his heart breaking for her.

"He was gone for a couple of years and then...then he came back and he wanted us to be together, he said everything that I had ever dreamed of. I was so surprised. But being in his arms again, it was like being in heaven.

He lived in L- in another village than mine, so we didn't see each other every day, but we visited the other frequently. We made as much time as possible for each other. It was the best two months of my life. And I thought maybe then, maybe we could have married and lived happily ever after but then-"

It was her turn to turn away from Jamie. The thought of Angel was almost too much to bear. Speaking of him aloud for the first time, since she came to this god forsaken place, made her feel like her guts were being ripped out of her all over again.

"Did he-did he die, lass?"

She took a deep breath, and turned back to him, tears slowly falling down her face.

"Yes" she whispered. "I'll...I'll never see him again."

Jamie stood up and pulled her into his arms, trying to give her comfort. Speaking of Claire, and hearing of Eliza's heartbreak stirred feelings inside of him he had long forgotten. He supposed he was seeking comfort as well.

"Much, a nighean, much" "Ceart gu leòr."

He whispered to her in Gaelic, just like Angel used to, it sounded different, she supposed the words were different. It was meant to be soothing, but it became too much for her. The similarities between Jamie and Angel were hitting her in the face. She gently pulled away from him and put as much distance between them as she could.

"I'm sorry lass, I shouldna have done that, I just dinna like seeing ye so upset, it was inappropriate of me."

She shook her head and took a step back towards him, "No, no, I uh- thank you. I didn't mean to cry all over you."

"Och. It's alright." He stared down at her, hoping she wasn't too offended by him invading her personal space.

"I haven't talked about- about him in a long time."

"No even to John?"

She shook her head no. Jamie was surprised, the two seemed so close. For some reason he was almost...pleased that she thought she could trust him enough to tell him something that she hadn't even told her best friend.

"Well, ye can talk to me anytime, a nighean. "

"Annie Ann? What does that mean?"

He smiled at her, "Ah-knee-on. It only means, girl, lass."

"Oh." They stood there for a bit longer.

"Well, I spose I should bid ye good day, Eliza, I am sure Willie will come back looking for you."

She nodded her head and turned around towards the house reluctantly.

"James?" She stopped and turned back to him.

"Aye?"

"Were you...were you in love with Willie's mother?"

"WHAT?!" Eliza knew she shouldn't have asked, she knew that she was pushing boundaries, but since they were already over sharing, she just had the urge to shove her foot in her mouth.

Jamie's face had drained of all color and his mouth gaped open like a fish.

"What...why would ye...what do ye mean to imply by that?"

She held her hands up, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I just...I mean.. Come on James, he has your damn eyes for god sakes! And the way he holds himself, the way you look at him! It's so obvious who his father is!"

He was shocked. He knew that Willie inherited some minor physical traits from him but he didn't think anyone else could see them, especially not someone he had just met. Eliza mistook his silence for anger.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. And I won't James! I would never say anything. I just... I just...I should go. Goodbye, James."

She turned to leave, for real this time when Jamie reached out and grabbed her arm.

"No. No, I wasna in love with Willie's mother."

"Oh. But you..."

"It- uh... it's not something I want to get in to, but just know it was a mistake, being with her, I didna want to, believe me. But Willy...he's a gift...a gift that I dinna deserve. And I only want what's best for him."

Eliza put her hand on the one that was still on her arm and looked up into his eyes. "I know that you do" she whispered. "I know."

They stood there, practically gazing into each other's souls. Eliza's eyes focused on his lips, she could feel his breath against her face. Just a few more inches and she could reach up and-

"Well, I shall bid ye goodnight, lass." Jamie had stepped back and bowed to her before she did anything foolish.

"Yes, yes. Well umm...Good- Goodnight James."

"Goodnight Eliza."

The next two days Eliza had avoided the stables like a plague. She had shared so much with Jamie, had even almost kissed him! Her heart was in so much turmoil, what with Johnny getting married and her not knowing what her next move should be. She needed some time away from the handsome Scot, time to clear her head.

She went down the stairs that morning to find Johnny, she wanted to spend time alone with him before she left, which she was planning on doing very soon. But instead of finding Johnny, she found little William, alone, curled up on the floor crying his eyes out.

"Willie! What's wrong, darling?"

He looked up at her voice and flung himself into her arms and cried harder. She hugged him back tightly, rubbing his back soothingly, like she used to for Dawn. Her heart clenched at the memory, she pushed it aside and focused on Willie.

"There, there, sweetheart, it's alright." She held him until his crying turned into dry hiccups and he finally calmed down.

She pulled away from him, to look into his tear stained, chubby sweet face, "There now. What is it that you're so upset about, sweetheart?"

He rubbed his eyes and sniffed his little nose, "Mack."

"Mack? What? Did something happen to him?" She asked alarmingly.

"He's leaving and won't let me go with him" he said solemnly.

"What?! He's leaving? When?"

"He said in a couple of days, but he can't, Lady Eliza, he just can't!" The little boy's eyes started to well up with tears again. She hugged him back to her, almost feeling the same way that Willie did.

Eliza immediately went in search for Jamie after consoling the young William. She had held him for a bit longer and then had his nanny put him down for a nap. The poor boy was so distraught. It made her angry that Jamie could just leave him like that. Leave his son like that.

She found him down by the pond, but he wasn't alone. Johnny was there, they were facing each other, having an intense conversation. They seemed to come to an agreement of sorts and shook hands, then Johnny turned away and saw her. He nodded his head at her and hugged her shoulder as he walked by, reading her mind.

"Go easy on him." He whispered to her as he went, leaving Jamie and Eliza facing each other.

"So, you're leaving? Just like that?"

"Aye. I am." He said quietly.

"It's not...it's not because of what I said is it? Because I didn't mean-"

He held his hands up, "No, no, well yes. I mean, I have been thinkin of leavin fer a long time. I ken that I would have ta soon and ye being able to spot the truth right away, it tells me now is the time."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Nah, I would have decided to go either way. I would never want to do anything to jeopardize Willie's way of life and if people start questioning his heritage, it would no go well for him."

She nodded her head. She could tell that it wasn't an easy decision for him to make.

"Well, I'll uh-Willie won't be the only one sad to see you go."

He could hear the hesitation in her voice like she wanted to say more. He wanted her to, he wanted her to tell him that she would miss him, like he would miss her even though they barely knew each other.

After their talk the other day, he had felt so close to her, he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. The thought of never seeing her again made his heart ache and before he even thought about what he was saying, he opened his mouth.

"Ye could come wit me."