Naruto was right behind Sasuke as he stormed out of the building and began running out towards the outskirts of town.
"Sasuke, I didn't mean anything by that!"
"Shut up and figure out what to do with your kid."
"Sasuke, please just talk to me!"
"Quit chasing after me!"
"I know you'd never hurt a kid!"
"I don't care what you think! Go away!"
"Then why are you acting like such a jerk!"
Sasuke stopped and turned around to punch Naruto when a realization struck. The two men were on top of a building about to leave the village.
"Idiot…. Where's the kid?"
"Huh?" Naruto instinctively looked at his leg. He shrugged. "He must be back at headquarters."
Sasuke stared at Naruto's relaxed face in disbelief.
"You left the biggest potential danger to our village alone, so that you could chase after me?" Sasuke said each word slowly, as if he couldn't believe he had just formed that sentence.
"Yeah. Of course." Naruto wasn't understanding why Sasuke sounded so upset. "He's just a harmless kid, but you on the other hand can never be left alone."
Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the collar. "You stupid idiot! You should have never left!"
"You should have never left!" Naruto pushed him off. "You know I always chase after you! It's what I do!" Naruto screamed back annoyed.
"No one asked you to chase after me! Tsunade ordered you to wait there!" Sasuke shoved him.
"No! Tsunade ordered us to wait there!" Naruto shoved him back. "And if I left you alone bad shit would happen! Bad shit always happens when I don't chase after you!"
"Get over that already! We were twelve!" He shoved him back. "I'm perfectly capable of being alone! I'm thirty!"
"Bullshit! Last year when I didn't chase after you, you got into a fight with the Raikage!" Naruto didn't shove him back, instead he grabbed him by the collar and was preparing for a fist fight. "Or what at twenty-nine were you still a kid?" Naruto mocked.
Sasuke had forgotten about that. His mouth was open in indignation. Now he was really pissed off. He grabbed Naruto's collar back. "He's an asshole! He provoked me!"
"You're an asshole too!" Naruto screamed as both men attempted to grab at each other's necks. The two were struggling around trying to get a clear jab at each other's face.
They were so focused on the fight that they didn't notice Shikamaru land on the roof.
"Uh… guys?" Shikamaru was standing in front of them. He had a stack of paperwork in a satchel and he was wearing his business attire.
"What?" Both men said in unison, still attempting to punch each other's faces.
"Where's the kid?" Shikamaru had looked around the roof in the hopes that they hadn't lost him, but that hope was quickly shattered when he saw that they were fighting.
"Ask him!" Both men screamed at the same time, the fight just getting worse.
Shikamaru sighed as he watched the two men fighting. Why the hell did Tsunade ask me to get involved in this? He thought bitterly. As if planning an inauguration wasn't enough work I now have to babysit these two. Should I ask for a raise?
"Guys." His voice had no sense of urgency.
"What?" They both screamed at him. Naruto got the first punch in and he smiled triumphantly, but Sasuke quickly recovered and got in a punch that made Naruto's head spin.
"Listen I got to report to Tsunade in fifteen minutes, so I don't have any time to babysit you two."
The two men stopped fighting and scoffed.
"We are not children. We do not need babysitting." Naruto said, wiping the blood from his mouth.
"Don't lump me in with him." Sasuke had wiped the blood off prior to anyone noticing.
Shikamaru sighed. They were always like this.
"Wait…" Naruto blushed. "What did Granny—"
"Your love child appeared with no memory just days before the inauguration. You two are supposed to keep him with the analysis team for a couple of hours, so they could run some tests on him. Tsunade knows you wouldn't stay at one place for hours, so I'm supposed to look for you guys in the village and tell you to meet her in her office instead." He reported simply, but then he added. "I'm sure she didn't expect you to lose your son though."
"He's not mine!" Naruto began, but quickly stopped himself. "Wait. She sent you to look for us?" He threw his arms up in indignation. "She has no faith in me! I'm going to be Hokage and yet—"
"You idiot. You lost the kid. Of course, she has no faith in you." Sasuke interrupted.
"We lost the kid and it was all your fault!" Naruto screamed again making a fist.
"He's your son!" Sasuke made a fist back.
"No!" He turned towards Shikamaru with a blush. "Listen man I know it's not looking good for me, but I can guarantee you he's not my son. I'm not the kind of guy that'd leave his kid!" Naruto really cared about Shikamaru's opinion of him, he was one of his best friends, so his voice sounded desperate.
Shikamaru smiled at him. "I trust you Naruto. I know you wouldn't lie about something like this."
Naruto sighed with relief and chuckled. "You're the best Shikamaru. I really don't know what i'd do without you—"
"Besides I'm pretty sure you're a virgin." Shikamaru said it simply without meaning to offend Naruto, but Naruto's face went red instantly.
"You dirty, no good, rotten asshole!" Naruto screamed at him.
The two heard Sasuke laugh. The two men turned to look at him, but his face was expressionless.
"You think this is funny?" Naruto asked, still red.
Sasuke smirked at Naruto. "Well, aren't you?"
Naruto's face got redder and he rushed over to him. "I told you that in secrecy!" He whispered harshly. "You jerk!"
"I didn't say shit he figured it out!" Sasuke whispered back, shoving Naruto as he spoke.
Shikamaru knew them well enough to know this was about to be round two. He cleared his throat to get their attention. It didn't work. He tried again with a different tactic.
"I figured you both were actually—"
Both men stopped their fighting, they gasped, and looked to Shikamaru expectantly.
"Suppose to be guarding the boy, so Tsunade will be upset at you both equally." He finished and smiled at the men.
Naruto grunted in disappointment and Sasuke looked relieved but only for a brief moment before he regained his composure.
"This was supposed to be a surprise," Shikamaru began taking advantage of the attention the men were giving him, "but seeing as how you two are at each other's throats… I might as well tell you the good news now."
Both men raised an eyebrow.
"Sakura is returning in a couple of hours."
"What?" Both men had a smile on their face, but it quickly turned into panic. They turned to look at each other and gulped.