Just Marco and Star talking here. This chapter is my favorite of the collection so far and was very fun to write. Please let me know if you enjoyed it.

Favs, reviews, and constructive feedback is really helpful. Thanks!

This is set about 7 years after Cleaved, just a few days after their first child is born.

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Chapter 10 - Adventures in Merchandising

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"Annnnnnd the baby is ooooouuuut. Mama Star for the napping baby win!"

"Good job hun."

"Day three as a mom and I TOTALLY got this. My milk is finally coming in. She is latching on better. My body almost feels Mewman again. Only 17 or 18 more years and then we are done with this whole raising a kid mess!"

"Maybe she can do a foreign exchange program so we can get a year off in there."

"I sure hope she likes sarcasm. Otherwise this kid is going to HATE us."

"Whether she hates us or not, I want you to know that you have done a great job so far. The pregnancy, the birth, the last few days, you have been amazing!"

"Yeah, well...I'd feel better about it if we didn't have to bring her back here. I have to say Marco, getting a one bedroom apartment in the city seemed like a good idea while finishing college but with a baby, I think we need something less...less roachy. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Mewni roaches since they are big enough to wrestle out of the house but these Earth ones are so damn small and fast!"

"I hear you and I've been thinking about this apartment. Well, to be more specific I've been thinking about improving our revenue stream so we can start looking for a better place to live BEFORE we finish school."

"Planzilla is scheming something, I like it! Gimme what you got!"

"First off your appearance fees, my royalties, the stipend, and my weekend job are keeping us afloat fine as long as we stay on top of our expenses. However, unless I get a real job lined up for when I finish my masters, the student loans start becoming due and we'll be underwater."

"But you applied to the FBI like we talked about, you know they are totally going to hire you."

"Maybe they take me...maybe they don't. I thought I was going to nail the background check but the new career counselor I talked to yesterday said...well…"

"I'm sorry, it's all the ties to old Mewni isn't it?"

"Yeah, she said that would be a problem and suggested that I start looking for other options as a backup. I would have told you yesterday but you two were napping during the call and then the baby was fussy."

"You could always ask Mr. Candle for a second opinion? Or is it Crandle?"

"Oh no. He'll just talk to me about Garbage Island again. I'll figure out something but my goal is still to find a job where we not only pay off loans but MAYBE even start saving for the future."

"Better place would be nice, saving would be nicer, eating out again...priceless."

"Exactly. Sooooooo I have two ideas to go over with you. These are things we can do before we get this whole job situation worked out."

"Stop teasing, just tell me - tell me - tell me!"

"Alright-alright. Idea number one...guess who is going to take over managing our finances?"

"Ahh…Janna?"

"No Star, you are taking over our finances."

* SNORT * "Marco, did you get karated in the head or something? You know I have the worst math skills of all the Star's in the multiverse!"

"I admit, you are number-challenged but I already have everything setup in our banking software. With the right tools it is really easy to manage this stuff, you can totally handle it. I'm thinking you'll have time available to learn it since you are taking a light load this semester. Also if you know how it all works you'll have a better understanding of what we can and can't spend. Soon you'll be the budgeting queen!"

"Hmph, just the title I wanted. I guess I'm glad you have faith in me."

"I also want you to know how to do it in case I'm not around for some reason."

"Hmm...I have your kid and you're already planning on leaving me. Nice one Diaz."

"Seriously Star, it is good that we both know how to do this! If we both understand the budget maybe someone doesn't buy two cases of glitter just to decorate a few dozen birth announcements!"

"Alright-alright, I'll stop buying glitter and...and learn how to do the finances. Just don't get mad at me if I star it up and we run out of nacho money."

"You'll do fine."

"This second idea better not involve more shaming my glitter habit."

"No shaming at all. Actually, you might really like it. Let me get the box."

"Box? Owww...is it a surprise?"

"Big surprise. Currently we are three years away from the ten year Cleaved-a-versary. In preparation for this I've started talks with the makers of the Princess Turdina line about some new toys that would be perfect to market with the anniversary. This box arrived just this morning."

"MARCO! FINALLY A STAR DOLL! I've so wanted a Star doll! This is so exciting!"

"Well..."

~ Star doll dance! ~

"Star…"

~ My doll is going to be awe-some! ~

"Star…"

~ My baby is going to have a doll of me! ~

"STAR! I love the song and dance but...we...we need to reset expectations."

"Why? It has to be a doll? I see the box behind your back, that is totally a doll box!"

"It is but..."

"But what?!

"Let me present to you one of the first prototypes of...the MonStar doll."

"…wha?"

"So this is Princess MonStar."

"Marco, where's the Star doll?"

"Sorry, there is no Star doll."

"Don't kids want a Star doll? I...I was a FREAKING MAGIC WIELDING PRINCESS!"

"Shhh...you're going to wake the baby."

"Grrrr..."

"Star, I talked to the company about this. Evidently market research shows that giving up your noble title and destroying magic doesn't sit well with the target doll purchasing market segment. What they found after several studies is that giving up a title and destroying magic are actually the worst things you can do for doll sales."

"But...but…"

"I'm sorry hun. I know, you did all the right things when you were acting queen and with magic but this is NOT about doing the right thing. It is about selling toys to children who like princesses and magic."

"...I...I don't know what to say. So...so what the corn is a MonStar then?"

"Currently there are very few monster based toys on the market so MonStar fills that slot. She is a 14 year old wand wielding half-monster princess who goes on magical adventures."

"Sure sounds like what a Star doll should be. But THIS is what kids want?"

"This is what the toy company thinks it can sell. Evidently if it goes well in pre-sales they are talking about a whole animated series starring Princess MonStar and Princess Turdina. The plot is not developed yet but it would likely involve the two of them having adventures through different dimensions. Sounds cute right?"

"Seriously Macro?"

"Here, take her out of the box and check out how great she looks."

"Marco! It's just me with purple skin, white hair, and claws! They are even giving her my wand and hearts? For the LOVE-OF-CORN why is it not just a Star doll! Oh wait SORRY, she also has a tail and fangs!"

"Star, you have to understand. To make these they need to invest a whole bunch of money in building the product, marketing, and then distribution. Based on all their research, MonStar is our best shot. Plus if it sells and becomes a successful series we should be getting a bigger royalty payment then what we are getting from just Princess Turdina."

"So she is a role-model for monsters?"

"Yes and...look how cute she is!"

"Argh! Seriously, stop trying to sell me on cute! Here look at my face and this purple waste of plastic side-by-side. Wouldn't a Star doll be cuter?"

"I think she is just as cute as a Star doll would be."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Hypothetical question for my -darling- husband. If you met this magical MonStar princess at 14 would you fall for her like you fell for me?"

"Ah…"

"Don't chicken out safe-kid. I want an answer."

"So everything was exactly the same?"

"Totally the same."

"She was just you but you looked like her?"

"Yup, just maybe she has a different dad or something."

"She...well...yes. Yes, I'd fall for her the same as I fell for you."

"Hmm...okay another hypothetical question. If you were 14 and MonStar and Jackie both talked to you about going to the same dance, who would you go with?"

"Seriously?"

"Totally serious hypothetical question?"

"This seems like a loaded…"

"Answer me Marco!"

"Well...I mean I might do everything the exact same but maybe I would feel sorry for MonStar, because she is half-monster. If I did I might go with her to the dance instead of Jackie."

"…"

"What?"

* WHAMP! *

"Hey! Don't throw MonStar at me!"

"I'm frustrated Marco! Why, in all-the-corn, was I not good enough to be a role-model! I mean look at that baby in the bassinet! When she grows up how am I going to tell her that some purple market driving version of me is a better role-model then her own mother! I...I can't do that. I'm not going to do that."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, I'm sure!"

"Well...alright, if that is how you feel."

"Wait...wait...did you say alright!?"

"Alright."

"You aren't going to argue with me about this?"

"Nope. I understand your point of view and I respect your feelings on this. The royalties and getting a monster role-model out into the market would be nice but I totally understand why you feel this way."

"Arrgh! You are so infuriating! Let me see her again."

"Ah...here."

"This isn't one of those tricks where you agree with me in order to get me to change my mind?"

"Star, I'm good with going forward with this but the doll IS based on your likeness. YOU have to be the one who approves moving forward. The only thing to keep in mind, you have about two weeks to decide. After two weeks there could be issues with getting the product out before the 10 year anniversary."

"So basically I say yes in the next two weeks or it is never going to happen."

"Pretty much."

"Are you going to ask me to cos-play her?"

"Ah...well...I hadn't thought about that one."

"Are you going to buy me a wig and purple body paint and ask me to dress up as her for you?"

"No Star, no. But...I mean if you really wanted to I'd…"

"Yeah-yeah. I'm sure you'd like to have LOTS of fun with me as her. Maybe I should make you wear your dress again too while we are at it."

"Star, if dressing up as Turdina would make you happy you know I would do it."

"Well, you do look cute in that dress. Hmmm...I still don't know about this."

"You want to take some time to think about MonStar?"

"It's just this whole being a role-model for our daughter that I need to figure out. She is only three days old and I'm already thinking about conversations where we have to explain everything we did back when we were kids. On top of that, if I say no MonStar I also have to explain to her why we lived with Earth-roaches as roommates for so long. If I say yes, maybe I do give monster kids a strong female role-model but then I have to explain to her why her mother wasn't good enough for a doll."

"Star, you are a great role-model, doll or no doll. If it is any consolation we are going to have a lot of explaining to do no matter what happens. Just remember, when it is time to talk the three of us will do it together."

"Hmmm...give me a day to think about it."

"You got it. Any questions?"

"Tell me more about this animation idea."

"Once we give the word they start pre-selling the doll. Based on numbers they'll decide if they want to shop it to a network and start development."

"What would it be called and how does something like that even get made?"

"Adventures of MonStar and Turdina maybe? I really have no idea how animation development works."

"Is it going to be one of those shows where the two main characters fall in love with each other?"

"I know that if MonStar is anything like you, my character would TOTALLY have a crush on her."

"..."

"Why are you shaking your head?"

"I just realized that when an adult talks about a character based on him crushing on a 14 year old, it sounds REALLY creepy."

* WA! *

"Ah...well...actually, now that you mention it, you're kind of right. It does sound creepy.

"REALLY creepy."

* WAAA! *

"Well creepy or not, I think our pumpkin is waking up."

* PTTTTTTHHHHPPT PARRP! *

"Wow, that was a loud one. Star, you want diaper check or making lunch?"

"I'll make lunch Mr. Diaz. I think I've already seen enough weird shit this morning after looking at that doll. Still can't believe they want to make a purple me. She looks like my mom fooled around with Toffee or something. People who come up with these ideas are crazy. You know, I bet she would look better if we added some glitter."

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Hope you enjoyed it. I started writing this story months ago but kept going back to edit it. Next chapter is a long one with just Star and Marco again so it might be a full week before it is out. - Olin