I originally intended that this chapter would set up a future scene in My Second Life as an Anti-Heroine by Mariagoner. However, since she dropped the Katarina/Maria route from her fic, it didn't turn out that way. This is very nearly the point of divergence between the two fics. In fact, I think it's very unlikely that Maria would have had this conversation with Keith in any route other than her own. Unless... maybe in the other routes, this is the point where she got discouraged and eventually decided that she and Katarina were 'better as friends'? Hmm.

Impasse (Unexpected)

After the next week's student council meeting, the workings of which were obstructed by even more posturing and pointless bickering, Maria plucked up the courage to ask Keith Claes if she could speak to him privately. Their president, Sirius Deek, had already departed by that point, but Nicol and Jeord both raised eyebrows at her, seemingly curious as to what had prompted this change in her behaviour.

"What exactly is it that you want from me, Miss Campbell?" was Keith's response to her request.

"It is a personal matter," she replied, somewhat awkwardly. "I'd rather not discuss it where we might be overheard."

"Oh, I understand: I get similar requests from young women all the time, practically every day." Keith smirked. "You're pretty enough, but you're not my type. Sorry to disappoint you."

She heard Jeord make a disgusted noise and mutter to Nicol, "I don't want to listen to this." A moment later, the two friends got up and walked away.

"I wasn't propositioning you," Maria said through gritted teeth, as a scalding blush spread over her entire body. Waves of prickly heat washed over her, making her feel rather faint. "I need to talk to you about… um, a mutual friend of ours."

Despite her embarrassment, and how much she wanted to dislike him at that moment, she was willing to admit that Keith was an attractive young man. Lean and ruggedly muscular, he had a pretty, fine-boned face which she'd heard some of Katarina's friends and hangers-on enthusiastically gushing about. However, even if she were unattached and looking for romance, Maria would have been repelled by his reputation as a licentious playboy who cared nothing for the women whose future prospects he so casually ruined. Also, she hated his ridiculous floppy hair – which was neither long nor short, but somewhere in between, utterly impractical and of no use to anyone – she'd barely suppressed a derisive sneer when she'd heard some of the silly young maidens of her acquaintance squealing that they'd like to stroke it as if it were a cute furry animal. He would look better if he were clean-cut, she thought.

"I suppose that if you're really gagging for it, I could spare you a few minutes," he said, leering at her. "Quite the insatiable little minx, aren't you, Miss Campbell?"

"Don't be like that!" she implored him. "I only want to talk to you. You don't have to make it sound like we're going off to… you know."

"Chastise the little penitent? Shake the sheets without music? Make the beast with two backs?" asked Katarina's oversexed younger brother, who seemed to be amusing himself by seeing how much he could cause her blush to intensify. In a more serious tone, he continued, "Bear in mind, you have asked to spend time alone and unchaperoned with a young man who has – as I am sure you are aware – a reputation as a serial seducer of innocent young maidens such as yourself. You know how people talk. I wonder what they will say about you when they find out. And, believe me, they will find out."

"People already talk about me. It's something I've had to put up with ever since I came to this school," said Maria, trying to seem calm and unconcerned.

"I think you are being naïve." Keith sighed. "You have experienced jealousy and resentment from a few young noblewomen who thought that belittling you would somehow make up for the fact that you are much more talented than they are, with your keen intellect and your exceptionally rare magical gift. You have never experienced what the rumour mill could do to you, if you were thoroughly entangled in its mechanisms, and someone was determined to destroy you."

A thought occurred to Maria. She stared coldly at the louche young man standing opposite her. "You knew that I was being bullied at the beginning of term, but you did nothing to intervene. Why not? Did my suffering mean so little to you?"

"Miss Campbell, I am an unscrupulous philanderer: the kind which your mother probably warned you about. Frankly, you are lucky that I didn't intercede on your behalf. I would have expected a fine reward." Insouciantly, he reached out a hand, lifting her chin so that he could scrutinize her face, as if he were a horse trader examining a promising young filly.

She slapped him away. He laughed loudly.

"Your beauty is not of the variety I normally go for, but I am sure you would have kept me satisfied for a few hours. Afterwards, perhaps I would have laughed to see you sobbing on my bed, knowing that I had taken something precious from you and left you forever soiled." He grinned, displaying too many teeth. "Aren't you glad I didn't do that? Don't you prefer my complete indifference?"

"You're not like that. I know you're better than that," she told him. Even so, she took a step back; though she tried to seem unruffled, her movements betrayed her discomfort. Though he was a head taller than her, he was slim and athletic rather than a looming bulk, but she couldn't help feeling threatened by him. "I've never heard of you being cruel to your women."

"Miss Campbell, you know nothing about me," he said, rolling his shoulders, yawning and stretching. "All right, you want to talk to me in private? Well, we're talking, aren't we? This room is as private as any, now that our esteemed colleagues have withdrawn. Anyone looking in through the windows can see that we're still standing, at a respectable distance from one another, and not writhing in the throes of sexual congress. If we're going to have a serious conversation, this is a good place for it. Just let me close the door."

While he busied himself with that, she called after him, "I don't think you're a bad person, my lord. But I much prefer your sister."

He chuckled at that. "Yes, I prefer Katarina as well."

"She was the one who saved me, without asking anything in return. I could tell that she wanted me… um… I mean, she wanted me for something, but she didn't demand a reward from me. In fact, she has done nothing but help and take good care of me." Maria smiled dreamily, thinking of the young woman whom she loved so dearly. "My Katarina, my heroic saviour, my gallant knight-errant, so bold and brave and beautiful…"

When he'd completed his appointed task, Keith marched back over to her. "What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, somewhat snappishly.

"I wanted to thank you. Katarina has very much enjoyed having her dear brother back. You have been a source of great comfort to her," said Maria. "As well as that, I have a proposal for you: I think that we should be allies. We both want the same thing, after all–"

"Oh, that's true," Keith interjected. "More than you realise, that's true."

Rather taken aback, Maria stared at him for a moment, wondering if he had misunderstood her meaning, though she couldn't think how. "As I was saying, we both want the same thing: to protect Katarina from Prince Jeord's unwelcome advances. If we pooled our resources, I'm sure we could accomplish more than either of us could alone."

"What do you expect either of us to accomplish?" he asked, folding his arms and putting on a stern countenance. "Jeord is her betrothed. Like it or not, it's a perfectly legal arrangement, approved of by her parents and by the king himself. Do you realise how much trouble you could get into if you tried to get in the way of that? Light mage or not, I'm sure the royal family would find a way to have you discreetly removed if you inconvenienced them to any degree. Oh, I doubt that they would outright kill you, not while you can still be useful to them, but there are plenty of unpleasant backwater postings they could assign you to, where you would be isolated until you grew too old and embittered to cause any further problems."

She blinked at him, dismayed by his reluctance to help. "I'm unsure of the details, but I know he treated your sister cruelly, which caused her to fall out of love with him. No doubt she has her own plan to escape, which we both of us might be able to help her with, if we knew what it was. She hasn't told me – perhaps she thinks that I am too soft and delicate to be of much use to her – but she might be willing to tell you. To that end, I think we should arrange to spend time together, all three of us. Perhaps you might like to join us for afternoon tea one of these days? Or we could go hunting, hawking and horse-riding together. You know how much Katarina enjoys those activities!"

"The three of us together," said Keith, a wry smile on his lips. "Oh, Jeord won't like that, not one bit."

"What does that matter? What business is it of his?" asked Maria. "You are her brother, estranged as you once were. Even if they are to be married – and even if he will be king someday – how can he complain about her keeping ties with her close kin? As the church tells us, even a royal decree cannot sever the bonds of family."

"I think the actual quote is 'even a royal decree cannot sever the bonds of the covenant', but I take your meaning."

She shrugged. "I've heard both." As a young girl, she had gone to church with her mother many times, despite the unfriendly mutterings of the congregation and sanctimonious offers of forgiveness from the preacher. Also, she remembered that the everyday speech of many of the villagers she had grown up with was peppered with quotations from scripture, even if some of them were rather distorted, having coalesced into gems of homely wisdom rather than the holy word of God.

There was a pause. Softly, gravely, and slowly, as if speaking to someone who was suffering from a serious illness, whom he didn't want to upset, Keith said, "What if I told you that I already know Katarina's plan? Some of the details, at least. What if I told you that her plan for you involves…?" He paused, letting his voice trail away, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. "She intends for you to seduce Jeord, to become his lover, and to distract him away from her."

Maria laughed out loud. "What a ridiculous notion! You must be joking!" she scoffed. "Have you been talking to Sienna?"

He looked baffled. "Who?"

"Lady Sienna Nelson. Dyed brown hair, dresses like Katarina, claims that she was once her best friend. Considering how many of your sister's former handmaidens you've deflowered, you must know of Sienna, or at least have seen her in passing," she said tartly.

If anything, Keith's puzzlement only deepened. "Wasn't she the little blonde girl? Pale and thin, with flaxen tresses and the complexion of a milkmaid? But she had such beautiful hair! Why ever would she dye it?"

Maria gave a rueful smile. "Your sister tends to have that effect on people."

"Again, more than you know," he agreed.

"A joke doesn't get funnier the more often it's repeated," Maria told him with a disdainful snort. "Besides, there's no way Prince Jeord would ever look twice at me if I wasn't standing next to his betrothed, the woman he covets. I don't think he hates me – next to him, I'm much too small and insignificant to be worth his hating – but he dislikes me for my closeness with Katarina. Even if I had any talent as a seductress, I doubt that I could alter his low opinion of me." She shook her head firmly. "Please be honest with me: do you know anything of your sister's plans to escape?"

Keith gazed at her, almost pityingly. "She plans to flee the country by the end of the year. For that, she needs money, so she asked me to help her with some financial investments."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Maria considered what it would mean for her to run away from the Magic Academy and go into exile. It would mean that she wouldn't be able to complete her studies and graduate as she wanted to. In spite of everything she had suffered, her schooling was very important to her: it was the key to a better life for herself and her mother. Of course, if she left Sorcier, she would have to leave behind her mother as well. Perhaps she could send care packages and money back to her, but she would never be certain that they had safely reached their intended destination. Even so, Katarina was the woman she loved with all the force of her youthful ardour. Hadn't they promised to protect each other, to rescue each other from the shackles which would otherwise ensnare them, and to support each other until they could be free to share the life and the love which they both longed for?

"I – I – I will go with her," she promised herself, despite her quavering heart and the tongue which slumped sluggishly in her dry mouth, stumbling over words which suddenly seemed ugly and crude. "She will need me by her side."

"I don't think she intends to take you with her. Or me, for that matter," said Keith, scowling at the bitterness of his own words. "She plans to leave all of her attachments behind, so that she can be free."

"That can't be true!" she cried out in anguish. "Please… no more jokes! Don't lie to me! I can't bear it!"

"I'm not lying," he replied. "I wish I was, but I'm not. No matter what I do, I'm going to lose her again."

Something broke. Tears streamed down Maria's face. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried. Was it months ago, when her beloved had rescued her from those bullies? Or a little while later, in the library, when she had forced a different pack of bullies to leave her alone, after which she felt so stressed and relieved that it was a struggle not to burst into tears? Or was it on the day when she and Katarina had pledged their love to one another, when she had believed that they would be together forever, and she had burst into tears of joy and adoration?

She didn't recall. It seemed like such a long time ago.

"You love her, don't you?" asked Keith.

Maria sobbed. "W-with all my heart."

"So do I." His shoulders sagged. For a moment, he looked much older than he was. Somehow, she caught a glimpse of how he might look when he was middle-aged: a sad and weary fellow, crushed by many disappointments.

"You… as a brother?" she asked him.

"As a man loves a woman," he declared. Standing tall and proud, his voice ringing out defiantly, he refused to be ashamed of his incestuous desire for his sister.

"But… but that's wrong!" she cried, horrified.

"I was adopted into her family, but they never treated me like family," he said matter-of-factly, as if this were something she should know already. "Yes, I was born a Claes, but we're not that closely related. It's been a while since I looked at the family tree, so…" He screwed up his eyes for a moment, as if that would help him to remember. "By birth, I'm her third or fourth cousin, maybe one step removed. Plenty of noble families arrange marriages between cousins much more closely related than that. It isn't a problem."

"She told me that you were her father's illegitimate son, born to a prostitute."

"Yes, well… she is wrong about a lot of things."

"So… you are my love rival? Not just Jeord?" she asked, aghast.

He smiled, but there was no real gladness in it. "What does it matter? She doesn't want any of us. Not really."

"She… she loves me…"

"Did she tell you that?" he asked. "In those exact words?"

Sniffling, Maria considered the question carefully, wishing that she could say yes. "She told me that one day I would have the life and love I want to have…"

"But not necessarily with her."

"We kissed! She held me in her arms! We made such promises to each other!" she blurted out. "I can't believe… Surely she wouldn't do such things if she didn't love me!"

"You don't have much experience of love, do you?" asked Keith, giving her a knowing look.

"No… I won't believe it! She wouldn't lie to me!"

"I don't think she lied to you. Not deliberately." He sighed forlornly. "She does that, you know? Makes people fall in love with her. She doesn't mean to, but she does. And, all the while, she doesn't seem to believe that anyone could ever love her – as if she were somehow impossible to love – and I am sure that she would be astonished to find out how many people are desperately in love with her." Pacing restlessly back and forth like a tiger in a cage, his eyes glinting with frustrated passion, he snarled at what he was about to say next. "That's what Jeord did to her, I suppose. She poured all her love and affection into him, but he only pushed her away. No matter what she did, he left her unsatisfied. Over time, his behaviour hurt her so badly, I suspect that even you would be hard-pressed to heal the wounds he left behind."

"H-how do you know all this?" she asked.

"I watch and wait and listen. You would be surprised by some of the things I know," he said. "Of course, I've known Katarina a lot longer than you have."

"I… I see," she said, feeling very small and weak. "I'm sorry… I need some time to think about this. I should… talk to Katarina about this."

"You do that," he said with a nod, dismissing her. "Good evening to you."

She gave him a perfunctory farewell. It was an awkward end to their meeting, but there seemed no way of avoiding it. After the devastating truths he'd revealed to her – were they truths, really? – there was no possible resolution to the matter which would have appeased her.

It had been late afternoon when the student council meeting came to a close, but it was several hours later by the time Maria had stifled her weeping and composed herself enough to confront her… her… What was Katarina to her? A dear friend, her patroness, the woman she loved, but none of those descriptions seemed enough to encapsulate the feelings which warred within Maria's heart and mind: feelings which her body felt too slight and slender to contain. At last, when black night had fallen, after she'd wandered the school grounds for what seemed like an age, she summoned all of her remaining courage and determination, trying to find the will to do what needed to be done.

Hobbling on legs which felt as though they had been hollowed out and filled with molten lead, she approached the tall building in which Katarina had a suite of apartments. Even the simple act of climbing a few steps felt like an unendurable exertion. Raising a clumsy hand, she knocked on the door. It was a while before anyone answered.

Author's Note:
I've been informed that Sienna (from the My Next Life as a Villainess: Verge of Destruction spinoff) is supposed to be a "flaxen-haired blonde". Considering how she has behaved so far in this fic, I don't think it's beyond the bounds of possibility that she would dye it so that she could look more like her beloved Katarina.