Chapter 10 - Michael Bay, are you there?
An explosion. Two explosions. Three explosions… More explosions.
This was probably what the Yato counted in order to fall asleep, instead of sheep. That, and perhaps robbed restaurants. But said explosions were very much real, and not just locked inside the brain of a stupid lout. And needless to say, if you hear explosions getting close to you, that's usually a very, very, very bad omen for you. Especially if you're locked in a spaceship. In the void of space. With Yatos.
And the Captain of the Harusame Third Division knew all too well how dangerous the situation he found himself in was. Hence, why he had taken refuge near the emergency escape pods and was about to take off at any moment.
His plan had been perfect so far. Except someone had ratted him out, and now everything was falling on his face like a shower of shit-flavored butterscotch.
And he wanted to go away even faster and further when he heard the spaceship's interface saying that more than half of all the rooms and hallways were depressurized and exposed to the vacuum of space.
In haste, he finished the security checks and busied himself with activating all the important systems of the space shuttle. If he ever made it out alive, he would go find the engineer who made this system and sunk him himself. Because activating a shuttle for more than ten minutes left room for potential sudden death.
He was finishing calibrating the propulsion when a crashing sound on the cockpit glass made him look up.
Clinging to the windshield was the Captain of the Harusame Seventh Division, with the biggest smile he'd ever seen him display.
"Fouuuuuuuund yoouuuuuuu!" Kamui said with a melodious voice worthy of the best psychopaths.
If one had to describe in a few words the position of each person, it would be the following. Kamui: Starfish. The Captain of the Third Division: Apericube (1). Abuto: Tourist taking pictures.
Summed up, the enemy was in such a bad situation that even praying to a satanic god wouldn't have changed anything.
"C-Captain Kamui..." He smiled nervously, curled up on himself.
"Captain Bay!" Kamui smiled sadistically.
The Yato's fingers began to crack the thick glass and sink into it, and soon his fingertips were inside the vehicle.
"It's Captain Bae. Michael Bay is the film director..." He gulped.
"Wait, you're not Michael?" Kamui wondered.
"Well yes, but actually no (2). I'm Michael Bae, not Michael Bay".
"Saaaaaaame thiiiing", Kamui smiled while keeping on cracking more the 10cm thick glass.
Kamui then swung his head backward and ended up exploding the window with a head blow, without even flinching the least while doing so.
"A-Abuto! Save meeeeee!" Cried Michael.
Said man, who hadn't flinched until then, looked up from his smartphone.
"Sorry, but I'm watching an auction on eBay right now." He said, barely concerned.
"E-Bay? Are you buying Michael Bay's stuff?" Kamui asked.
"No, it's a sales website called eBay. Michael has nothing to do with it, although you can find stuff of his own or stuff made by him," Abuto explained.
"Stuff made by Michael Bae?"
"No, Michael Bay's," Abuto replied without really believing that his superior would eventually come to understand what he was talking about.
"It has nothing to do with me, I swear!" Cried Michael Bae.
"So you're going to eBay that doesn't belong to Michael Bay to buy Michael Bay stuff?" Kamui summed up.
"Yeah, that's about it", Abuto sighed. "Ah! OxxxUxxxx placed a bid higher than me, again… What a pain in the ass..."
Abuto kept on typing on his phone as if nothing happened, while Kamui came back to the most pressing matter.
"So… Michael Bae… You'll tell me what I want to know, won't you?"
"I-I-I swear I had no harmful thoughts!" Yelped Michael, crying all the tears he had.
"Yet, you did something that made me terribly angry, Michael." Kamui smiled.
"I-I'm sorry! I'll tell you everything!"
"I have no doubt about that", Said Kamui with a face too angelic for such wickedness.
Michael swallowed, fearful he wouldn't make it out alive.
"It's an experiment the old geezers wanted me to do! They said that if I did it to your sister, It would be the greater good for everybody!"
"So you're telling me the old farts are behind all of this? I hope you have the antidote, at least".
"Yes! I have it! It's in my office!"
"And where is that?" Kamui asked.
"Back in the section you destroyed half an hour ago, Captain", Abuto blurted out.
"Ah… Are there none elsewhere?" Kamui asked with a smirk.
"Yes! The old geezers still have some! I swear! They have crates and crates of that thing!" Michael cried.
"Good… Abuto, sound the retreat. We're going to do ourselves some oldies".
"If you knew how bad that phrase sounds", Abuto pointed out before leaving the room.
Then Kamui opened wide his eyes and stared at Michael.
"Captain Kamui, have mercy", Michael pleaded.
"Mercy? that's not in the habits of the house. We tend to sharply erase all at once the whole slate, nice and clean..."
He freed himself from his spot in the shattered glass, setting foot on the metallic flooring, and with a sharp blow, kicked the shuttle.
The small spaceship went through the hangar's wall as though it would have done with a sheet of paper, and whirled away into the void of space.
"See you space", (3) Said Kamui.
To Be Continued...
Comprehensive notes:
(1) Apericube are "delicious small cubes of cheese coming in a variety of flavors, and that can be eaten as an aperitif". It's a French product.
(2) "well yes, but actually no" is that meme originating from a misquote on a scene from the short movie "So you want to be a pirate!" (bonus released with the movie "The pirates! In an adventure with Scientists!").
(3) reference to the text displayed at the end of every episode from the anime Cowboy Bebop.
Author's note : You must have noticed now, but I LOVE to write Abuto and Kamui. Especially Kamui being a destructive brat with no common sense, and Abuto being the fed up nanny XD.
Chapter also published right before my departure to Canada.