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Chapter 9

Wednesday/ December 30th

Tobias' POV

Sure leaving Tris yesterday the way I did was a little drastic and I completely overreacted, but I just had to get out of there as soon as possible. I had all of these mixed emotions coursing through me, it just seemed easier to just walk away from it all than to stay there and face it. I hated feeling that way, this way, abandoned, lost, hurt and for the first time in a long time… lonely. I spent so many years keeping people at an arm's length and never letting anyone get close to me, but for some reason it only took a few hours for this one woman to break down all of my walls and for me to not only want to open up to her but to commit to her as well. Things that Lauren wanted, things that I couldn't give her, I wanted to give to Tris. I wanted to experience it all with her, but Tris obviously didn't feel the same even after I made a complete fool of myself and nearly begged her to stay with me. I needed to get out of there as fast as possible, I needed to put some distance between us.

There was nowhere else for me to go really, but into town. It was too cold and icy on the roads to just drive around for no reason. Even though I felt like such an unworthy idiot, I still worried about Tris traveling in these rough road conditions. It only made me feel even worse about myself. The girl practically said she didn't want anything to do with me, literally leaving me in the dust… And yet here I was worried about her safety. I still wanted to protect her from whatever the world had to throw at her. What an idiot and loser I am.

I ended up walking around mindlessly for what felt like hours yesterday around town. I just couldn't stop thinking about Tris. I kept arguing with myself whether or not I did the right thing… Leaving her, instead of her leaving me. Telling Tris how I felt about her, maybe I shouldn't have. On and on I played a never ending cycle in my mind about what I should have and what I shouldn't have done. I even went as far as thinking maybe I shouldn't have sleep with her the night before or even should have had sex with her in the first place. I dreaded going home for two reasons. The first reason was what if she was still there and she had not left yet. Second, what if she wasn't there, I didn't want to face the heartache and the truth that she was really gone from my life forever. I just wanted to swallow what little pride I had left and get on with my life.

When I finally did make it home Girl greeted me at the door like always. But the house seemed too empty and the silence was louder than it used to be. Funny this house felt more like a home in the short amount of time that Tris was here than it ever had. Now it seems more like just a place more than anything, the walls seem larger than before and colder than ever. I couldn't take it for long before I needed to get out. Girl and I ended up taking a long run, we also avoided the Chasm while I was at it. Last night I refused to sleep in my bedroom or even in the living room for that matter. I ended up tossing and turning on the couch in my office. Needless to say I didn't sleep well at all.

When the sun finally came up this morning, I was already wide awake and thinking of none other than Tris. I missed her warmth, her unique smell and her body entangled with mine. The events of this past week that I spent with her played endlessly in my mind. I hurried getting ready and left for the day after I walked and fed Girl of course. Afterall, she is the only thing I have left in this world.

Just as I was turning onto the main road and back towards town Nita called me on the radio. Apparently Edward's behavior had taken a turn for the worst last night. He ended up not only coming home late last night, but he did so completely wasted out of his mind. He didn't stop there either, he continued to drink out of the comfort of his home all night long. This morning the neighbors had called for help when they heard the loud screams of a woman and the sounds of things crashing in their home. It turned out that Myra finally had it with Edward and as they fought Edward became violent with her. Myra has been taken to the hospital, but Edward is MIA. A warrant for his arrest has been issued and a man hunt is on its way as we speak. One thing about living in such a small town, you can't do anything wrong without getting caught.

I never thought that Edward would stoop so low as to beat his own wife. I still remember the days when they first started out in this town, they seemed so happy and in love. He would look at her as if she was his whole world, his everything. Never in a million years did I think we would be standing here today where I'm actually looking for him to take him in for hurting her.

A slight movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. It's not hard to spot something, seeing that everything is covered in white from the snow and it's sunny out. I turned my cruiser back around heading back in the direction that I could have sworn I saw a dark figure walking across the path. I stopped my car and put it in park and turned off the engine. If Edward is out here on foot, I know I'll catch him easier on foot too.

I try my best to be as silent as I can, but with every step that I take you can hear the snow crunching under my feet. I cringe with every step that I take while looking for him. I draw my gun out when I hear the fast pace of foot steps ahead of me. There is definitely something or someone out here. Whatever it is, it's eager to get away from me.

"Edward. Edward, come on, come out now. I know you didn't mean to hurt Myra," I scream out. A part of me hopes that he does give up easily. It's cold, wet and frankly I don't want to even deal with this shit right now. I see a sudden movement from behind a tree, it's him. He takes one glimpse of me and turns and runs the other way. Coward. I run, picking up speed easily behind him. I gain more speed and the distance between us lessens as he stumbles ahead. I tackle him down on the ground once I am close enough to him. Both of us are thrown forward into the soft bed of snow. He tries to push me off of him, trying to get away, but I don't let go of him that easily. I duck at the last second, when he tries to punch me in the face with his poor attempt. That's when I completely lose it. I punch him back over and over again, letting him feel the pain that he so happily and willingly betrayed Myra with. Letting him feel all those years of torture that my own mother had to live through...That I had to live through. I find myself having difficulties stopping. "He needs to learn his lesson," are the words that play on in my head. Almost the same words that my father said when he taught me. Fuck!

I finally let go of him, while out of breath and energy to hold his unconscious body up by his collar. I let him go, letting him collapse in the snow. Shit, what have I done? I'm just like my father. I'm a monster.

I waited patiently in the lobby of our small town's hospital. I hold a hot cup of steamy coffee between my hands. Funny, I can't even feel it. I can't feel anything. I lost it. I lost complete control of myself out of anger. Sure, he deserved it, but still that's not for me to judge him. As a cop, my duty is to arrest and bring him in for his judgement by the courts. I'm not supposed to be his judge and jury. Yet, I took it into my own hands to be just that.

"Four." I look up, meeting the kind eyes of Hana's. I instantly relax. I don't know who I expected when I heard that name, but she was the last person I thought would be here. She takes a seat next to me, her eyes gentle with worry. "Shauna called me, she said you might need a friend right now," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. A friend? I need to be arrested right now. Maybe it's a good thing that Tris left me after all. Not knowing what to say to her, I nod my head while looking down at the floor instead of her. "Sometimes it's easier to take things out on others, when you can't deal with them yourself," Hana says, placing her hand tenderly on mine. "I was told that Edward tried to get away, that he punched you first?" She states. She's probably trying to make sense of it all. "I'm not justifying what you did… But… You did what you had to do," she continues. I take a deep breath, trying to strengthen the dam that threatens to break inside of me. It can't break, not here in public. Man up, damn it.

"I hurt him. I did that. Tris was right to get away from me as fast as she could… I'm broken," I say, barely above a whisper. I would imagine if Hana wasn't sitting so close to me that she probably would have to ask me to repeat my words. She looks at me confused instead. Although I never fully told Hana my life story, she knows I have been through hell and back.

"You are not broken," she says firmly. She tightens her grip on my hand as she continues. "If there is one thing in this world that I have learned, is that you have to have faith and hope in love. You might love Tris… But you need to have faith in that love too. Have faith that even though you set her free that you and her will find your way back to each other…. I know, I saw it in her eyes. She was very torn to leave you," she says.

"And if she doesn't come back?" I ask, feeling like the abandoned child that I once was.

"If she doesn't come back then know it's not because you are broken, but because it wasn't meant to be that way. God has plans for all of his children," she continues, "but I don't see that happening with you and Tris. I saw you two together… Her feelings were just as strong for you, as yours are for her. You were both falling in love with one another in front of everyone's eyes, we all saw it. I don't see how anyone could turn away from that. But know that just like you… She has her doubts that she has to work through too. That might take some time…. Just trust in that love. You'll see everything will work out," she finishes, leaving me speechless. Could I have faith? She did try to offer to see where things could go between us…I was the one being stubborn and turned her down flat, before we could figure it out.

"Thank you, Hana." I say, as I wrap my arms tightly around her.

"Four, Hana," Shauna calls out, drawing our attention to her. We stand up as she closes the gap between us. "Myra has suffered a few broken ribs and a concussion. Umm… Edward on the other hand has a few bruises on his face and an open wound on his forehead that needed a few stitches. He'll survive, it's nothing too serious," Shauna says. I can see the hate in her eyes that she feels for this man. Myra isn't just a wonderful teacher in this community, she is a friend to many of us. I wonder what will happen after this. Will Myra press charges or will she decide to drop them? If so, the court could decide to go forward with pressing charges against Edward as well… I guess only time will tell. "Anyhow, we are keeping Myra overnight for observation. Edward can be released into police custody once we are finished discharging him, which will be in a few minutes," Shauna explains. I arrange for my deputies to escort Edward back to the station and into a holding cell once he's discharged. The courts will deal with him later.

I walk out of the hospital entrance feeling nothing but complete exhaustion and disgust. I want nothing more than to go home and sleep off this dreadful day. I feel my arm suddenly being jerked backwards. I halt, turning around to find a very giddy Lauren holding me firmly in place.

"Hi, hot stuff. Where are you off to?" Lauren asks.

"Home," I say, simply. Not wanting to say anymore.

"How about I come with you. I heard what happened today… I could give you a body massage and make you feel really good," she says while licking her lips. I don't hesitate for one second, as I yank my arm out of her grasp.

"Not tonight Lauren," I say, I begin to turn around and head out, but then I stopped myself, remembering the other night at dinner when she groped me in front of Tris. I turn back around facing her once and for all. "Not ever. I'm done with you Lauren, we are done. We didn't work. We will never work. I want one woman... And you're not her," I say. I know I'm being a jerk to her right now, but she needs to know she has no chance in hell with me and that I'll never be with her in that way ever again. I begin to turn back around, wanting nothing more to do with her. When she calls out my name, I stupidly turn back around towards her.

"Fuck you!" She yells out in the middle of the lobby of the hospital. Everyone turns around with shock on their faces. I don't care what they think. I just want this to be over and done with. I finally turn around once and for all and I don't look back as I leave.

Hana's right… I have to have trust and faith in not only my feelings for Tris, but the feelings that Tris has for me. If we are meant to be together, it will work out in one way or another. Until that day comes, I want no one else.

Tris' POV

I ended up staying in Chicago for a day. I didn't realize how much I really missed my childhood home and my parents until I saw them. I made a vow to myself that I have to make an effort to see more of them in the future. It felt like a ton of bricks being lifted off of my shoulders when I told my mom everything that had happened back in New York with Peter and then with Tobias in Dauntless. It felt right, it was more like two friends talking and being comfortable with each other and not as much like a mother and daughter. When my father got home from work, he too told me some old stories about Erudite village and how he met my mom.

Mom, who knew she was from Dauntless? I guess I just always thought she was born and raised in Chicago. Dad too, but I guess I was completely wrong. She went on to tell me all about her childhood best friend that she grew up right next door to. The minute she said her name it all made complete sense to me why I felt really comfortable with this person, Hana. Hana and my mom were like two peas in a pod, everything they did, they did together. That was until Mom and Hana went on their summer break at camp Abnegation. It was a place to volunteer and help those in need. They mostly built houses and got donations together for those that were less fortunate. Mom met Dad there and they quickly fell in love with each other. It turned out that my mom's parents didn't approve of their relationship at all. They wanted their daughter to settle down in Dauntless and raise a family and do good for their community. But Mom and Dad had other plans, the moment they were both of age, they ran off together and got married. I guess that's why both Caleb and I had never met either set of grandparents before, as both sides of parents were too stubborn to give in. But it also explains why I felt so comfortable while being in Dauntless. Perhaps it's in my blood to be there.

The drive back to Dauntless wasn't nearly as long as the drive to Chicago. Although the traffic was a lot smoother going back, I wonder if it also had to do with how eager I was to get back there as soon as possible. Although on my way there I did decide to take a small detour and pulled into a roadside rest area. Using the bathroom or filling up on gas was the last thing on my mind, I needed to make a call and I wanted to give my full attention to it, as I decided to call my boss and give him my resignation right away. I explained in great detail that I never really felt at home in the corporate world and that I wanted to pursue my dreams in the family law department. After what seemed like forever with him pleading for me to stay, he finally gave in. David even went on to say that he would love to write me a letter of recommendation if and when I needed one. I thanked him for everything and bid him farewell.

The minute I saw the sign "Welcome to Dauntless," I felt a sense of total ease wash over me, like I was finally home. I thought about driving straight back to Tobias' house. To find him and tell him how sorry I was, that I was an idiot to leave him and that I was home, but that just didn't feel right. I knew I had to clear my mind first and figure out how to make things right between us. I ended up pulling into Christina's and Will's Bed and Breakfast instead.

The doorbell chimed, as I opened and closed the front door of the B & B. Within no time at all Christina made her way to the front of the house. She smiled wider than I think I have ever seen her smile before the moment she saw it was me. She rushed over to my side hugging me with extreme excitement.

"What are you doing back here?" She asked, refusing to let me go. When she finally did let me go, we sat on the four seasoned porch, as I caught her up on all that had happened between Tobias and I. Along with the conversation that went on between my mother and I. She suggested that I could always go down to the town hall to look up my family's history records. She said it's never too late to learn where you come from afterall. I thought that would be a great idea after all the holidays.

"You're staying here right? I mean until you and Tobias figure things out," she asked, I could see the excitement on her face about the idea of having me close by. I couldn't help but smile, loving how close Christina and I have gotten, so quickly.

"Well, he doesn't even know I'm back yet. I messed up big and now I need to figure out how to fix it," I said, looking down at the mug of coffee in my hands.

"Well then, you can stay here until we figure this all out. But Tris…" She says, I finally got the courage to look up at her. "He does care about you a lot… He would be an idiot if he didn't attempt to work things out with you," she says, as she stands up from her seat. She walks to the front of the house getting one of my bags as she shows me to my room. "And don't even think about paying me for the night. Your money isn't good here," Christina says, placing my bag on the threshold of what appears to be my room.

When I am finally settled and freshened up, I descend down the stairs feeling a little more lighter and better about my choice to come back here. I already began to google a moving company back in New York that will not only help me pack, but will also ship all of my items here. I don't plan to go back to my previous apartment with Peter alone and unprepared. If it's one thing I have learned from being with Peter is that he doesn't like to be cornered. Me leaving him, making it official by taking all of my crap, even if it's just to trash it for the sake of him not having it, is cornering him.

I walk into the kitchen, being greeted by two strong arms embracing me and lifting me off of the floor. I squeal as Will greats me loudly, expressing how happy he is to hear that I'm back and for good this time. But what really surprises me are the squeals of the female voices that I can hear, as they all join in in welcoming me home. I'm beyond surprised as I see Shauna, Marlene, and Hana all smiling at me.

"I decided to call them, they were all very eager to come here and talk and help you figure things out," Christina says, smiling gently at me. I can't believe that everyone is here for me, to welcome me home where I want to be most of all in this world.

We all have a cup of coffee, sitting around the fire as we discuss what options I have and how to fix things with Tobias. Never before have I ever had a group of wonderful women to call my friends…

Shauna's phone interrupts us as we finish going over our brainstorming ideas. The whole thing makes me giddy with excitement, as each one of them throws in ideas about makeup, outfits, times and locations. She quickly answers the call seeing that it's from the hospital. From my understanding there seems to be something pressing happening in town. Shauna stands, grabbing her bag informing the person on the phone that she will be in as soon as she can. She can't go into too much detail, but she does tell us enough that the issue has been resolved, but that Hana's words of wisdom might be needed in the end. They both leave in a rush as Christina, Will and Marlene continue to brainstorm with me. Who knew Will could be such a girl when it comes to romantic gestures. One thing is for sure, I'm definitely home where I belong.

A/N

Thanks for the reviews. I'm so happy you are enjoying my Christmas Story.

Brainstormed with: FDFobsessed

Like always happy reading, be safe and stay healthy

Trini