When I walked back into my apartment, I stood inside the hallway, right in front of the closed door for a long moment. I looked down at my bare feet, and bare ass legs (like, no kidding, Thea WHAT) and realized I'd totally just walked outside of my apartment in only my underwear.

I looked up to find Jason watching me quizzically, and I made my best "What the FUCK" face when I asked him "Why didn't you tell me I wasn't wearing any pants?" and both he and I just lost it laughing together. Jason was doubled over he was laughing so hard. I walked over to him and punched him on the shoulder. "Dude, don't let me do shit like that!" I said laughing so hard tears were running down my cheeks. I sank down onto the floor, my head between my legs, my arms on my knees, almost sobbing I was laughing so hard.

"A) Asking me to be the designated adult in this duo is daaaangerous and b) I don't 'let' you do anything – I'm not the boss of you,"

Oh. Oh. Huh. I think he meant it to be funny, but coming on the heels of my conversation with Celia, talking about being just another stamp in his passport, that kind of stung. I know he didn't mean it that way (I hoped he didn't mean it that way) but it kind of confirmed my idea that this wasn't a 'serious' thing.

I looked over at him and he was watching me, intently. He was frowning slightly, like he was trying to figure something out, maybe. He stood up quickly, and turned to face me.

"Spidermonkey," he said, holding his hand out to me. We'd sort of worked out a routine; he'd say it, and I'd climb him like a tree.

So I did. He helped me stand up from my position on the floor, and I stood on tiptoe to be able to wrap my right leg around his waist, and put my left arm behind his neck, and he did the rest.

We were face to face now. He pressed his forehead up against mine and said "Hey,"

"Hi," I smiled, my arms locked around his neck.

"You good?" He asked, seriously.

"Mmhhm" I nodded.

"Yeah?" He asked again, eyebrows up, like he didn't quite believe it.

"Yeah." I said, trying to make it sound peppy.

"Shall we get started on stripping your bed?"

"Can we stay like this for a little longer?"

"I will gladly stay like this with you for as long as you want." Jason sounded like he was trying to tell me something very important.

"Don't your arms get tired, after a while?"

"Of you? No, no they do not."

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes. "…would they if I were not me, but the same general shape and size?"

"So help me, Ninjago, if you start in with any of that 'I'm too heavy,' bullshit-"

"No-that's not what-" I tried to interject but Jason just rolled right over it. He was on a roll.

"You're perfect. Like, literal fucking perfection. Looking at you is just, mmph" he stopped himself, pressing his lips together. "I-I have very strong feelings about how good you look and how much I enjoy looking at you and I should stop talking very very soon or the words I use are going to verge into porn territory." He stopped, taking a very deep breath. "I don't care how much you weigh."

I had to stop to process all that for a minute, deciding to chew on all that later. "I'm…glad? I don't care how much I weigh, either. I like how I look."

Jason narrowed his eyes at me, looking like he didn't quite understand how we just got from point A to point C. "Well, then, we're agreed on that. So…what did you mean? If that wasn't a 'tell me I'm pretty' ploy?"

"Well, it definitely wasn't, but I won't stop you from telling me," I said, laughing. "Like, I know if I were trying to hold a 'me' sized person my arms would get fucking tired!"

He leaned down to whisper in my ear "Ninjago, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a *little* bit bigger than you are," He straightened up and looked me in the eye.

I bit my lip as I answered him "I've noticed," I released my lip, slowly, then slooooowly moved up making sure to press my chest as closely to him as I could, to whisper "I don't know if you've noticed, but I really like that,"

"Is that so," he said, trying to be sly, but I knew he was fishing.

"Hamburglar, do you want me to tell you I think you're pretty?" I said, trying hard to contain my wicked smile, but failing.

"Yes, yes I would."

"You have the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen, ever. Every time I make you smile it makes me feel like I've accomplished something spectacular. Making you laugh is even better. Your shoulder to hip ratio is something I would be willing to give speeches on, in public. Looking at you without most of your clothes on is a gift, one that I am pleased you choose to bestow on me. Our size difference makes me feel small, and that's unusual in my experience, and I greatly enjoy it. Also, your ass is spectacular." I stopped, because he was looking…shellshocked was the best word I could come up with to describe it. "Did-did I say something wrong, Jason?"

He didn't say anything for awhile, he just looked at me, peculiarly. He blinked a couple times before he spoke. "I- you – no one's ever said anything like that to me before." He said, softly.

My eyes got real big, and I started getting nervous. "Is that…good?" I was hesitant to ask, because for the life of me I couldn't read the emotions on his face. "I'm getting worried that I made a grave mistake – Jason, did I hurt your feelings?"

He was a million miles away for a second, then he snapped back to focus on me. "What? No! Whatever the opposite of hurt feelings is, that's what I feel."

"Happy?" I suggested.

"Happy! Happy's good. Yes." He paused. "Can we go sit on the couch? Um, I love holding you, but it's distracting. In the best way. But not right now."

The level of awkwardness that Jason was current displaying was both adorable but also super unusual. Jason was the absolute opposite of awkward.

"Yeah, of course," I said, and tried to get down but he wouldn't let me.

"No, you can't escape that easy," he said in a goofy villain voice that made me laugh. He walked us over to the couch, then sat down and I moved off of him, reluctantly. I sat with my legs crossed in front of me, perpendicular to him, so I could look at him better.

"Ok. Where were we?" Jason asked, and I swear to GOD he looked nervous.

"I told you you were pretty and you looked like you wanted to throw up."

Jason laughed out loud at that. "No, definitely not." He took a deep breath. "Generally, the women that are attracted to me are only interested in my body and how they can use it. Their compliments are shallow and meaningless. No one has ever told me they find joy in making me smile, or laugh. I don't know that anyone has actually been interested in doing it. I know you're attracted to me, but you haven't been pushy about getting physical; and that's…new. You…like talking to me. You think I'm smart."

"Jason, you are smart."

"No, it's more – you took time to find that out because you wanted to. That's something that's an important quality to you."

"Where on God's green Earth were you finding this other horrible sounding women?"

"Airplanes, bars, clubs."

"Man, I guess it really does take a good sandwich B&E to bring people together,"

"So. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're different, and I like it." He paused. "Thank you for coming to my TED Talk."

That made me laugh out loud. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "For the record, I think you're something special, too."

"That's also new."

Everything he was saying just kept breaking my heart over and over and over. I mean, I've had my fair share of shitty partners and one night stands, don't get me wrong – but I've also had several people who have loved me right. And the way Jason made it sound, he never has.

I stood up from the couch. "C'mon, Something Special – let's go strip the bed and get these sheets to the laundromat."

We got the bed stripped and all the laundry loaded into my car pretty quickly. The drive to the laundromat wasn't long, but it was definitely better than trying to haul all that shit on foot.

Once we got there, I got the linens loaded in one of the industrial size washers and got that going, then hopped up on one of the tables for folding and pulled Jason in between my legs.

"Well, hello," he said rubbing his nose on my forehead. I was holding both of his hands.

"Jason, how does one 'technically' have a key to an apartment, exactly?"

"I wondered when you were gonna get there."

I made an 'I'm waiting' face.

"I borrow Tim's master key."

"Wait, Tim's what?"

"He owns the building, Thea."

"Wait, Tim's what?" I said again, absolutely blown away.

"Did you not know that?"

"Wait, Tim's what?" I said one more time, for emphasis.

"I guess not."

"Tim owns the BUILDING?"

"Had ne not ever told you that?"

"No, that never happened to come up. Oh man, now I feel really shitty for being so loud." I said, laughing guiltily.

"He really doesn't mind, he's just glad you check in to make sure he knows you're not dying. Although he did tell me whomever came last last night seemed to have a better time than whoever was first."

I laughed. "Oh man! I will really have to watch my volume in the future."

"Were you first or last?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"I do."

"I was first."

"Oh." He paused, seeming to search for what he was going to say next. "Would you mind if I asked for…details? Is that too weird?"

"How explicit do you want me to get?"

Jason's eyes snapped up to mine. "Not that explicit. We're in a public place, and I only have so much self-control."

"Understood. Well. I was lucky Celia let me get into the apartment instead of trying to have sex with me outside. She had this grand plan of keeping that train going until I passed out from, um, finishing."

"I appreciate you." He said, laughing. "Then what happened?"

"Well, one sided play isn't really how I roll."

"Ok, and?"

"Let's just say I taught Celia something new last night. And she enjoyed it."

"Oh, COME ON. You can't just leave it there! What was it?"

"I'm trying to respect your self-control, man!"

"Whisper it to me."

"….how is that going to help your self-control?"

"Oh, it won't, it'll just be sexier."

I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud. I leaned in close to his ear "I taught her how to squirt last night."

"Good God, woman," Jason said, and I felt his hands gripping mine tighter. "So that means you…"

"Yes."

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck me."

"I would very much like to do that at some point."

"How much time's left on the washer?"

"Like 10 minutes."

"Ok good. Talk to me about something SUPER boring."

"What!?"

"It would be better if we stayed right where we are for right now." He gave me a knowing look.

"Oh. OH. Hm. Boring. Hm. What do you want to have for dinner? Can you stay for dinner?"

"You, and yes I can."

It took me a second, but I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly. "You're not even trying." I laughed.

"I have a very vivid imagination."

"Hmm. What's not sexy to talk about. Hmm. How many bones have you broken?"

"My own or someone else's?" Jason answer was like a reflex, and I looked at him, startled.

"Uh, I meant your own, but now I want to know about other people."

"My brother's and I fight a lot."

"Ok, how many siblings do you have, exactly?"

"Dick, he's oldest, then me; then Tim; then Steph and Cass – they're around the same age; then Damian. He's the youngest." Jason let go of my hands to spread them on either side of me, and he leaned in. "Now you."

"I think I already told you about Gabe, he's the oldest, he's 5 years older than me."

"He's the cop."

"Yep. Then there's Mike, and he's 2 years older than me."

"What's he do?"

"He's one of the DJs at WGTM, the public radio station at Gotham University."

"No shit!"

"My hand to God."

"That's a great radio station."

"I know it."

"When's he on?"

"Mornings. He does mornings so he can be home with my sister-in-law Jenn and my two nieces at night."

"How old are your nieces?"

"Audrey just turned 3, and Ella is one."

"Are you the best aunt?" he looked at me expectantly, like he'd be disappointed if I said no.

"Well, technically, I'm their only aunt, but yes. I am Best. Aunt." I heard the timer for the washer ding, and I looked at Jason. "Is it safe for me to move?"

"It is indeed. Family talk certainly calmed things down. Somewhat."

I got up to switch the load from the washer to the dryer. Right after I shut the dryer door, my ass buzzed. I took out my cell, and had a text that made me throw both hands up in the air and shout "YEEEESSSSSS!" and jump up and down and clap. I saw Jason's face and he was looking at me like I was disturbed.

"Y'allright over there?" he asked, looking very dubious.

I bounced my way back to him and continued to jump up and down with a stupid big grin on my face.

"BEEENNNN'S coming HOOOOMEEEEE."

"That's Mr. Star Wars Battlefront, yes?"

"YEEESSSSSSSSS. He's coming HOOOOOMMMMEEE!" I said, still bouncing up and down.

"I have never seen anyone so excited about the existence of another human being as you right now." Jason said, looking delighted at my delight. "And that includes my various siblings and their girlfriends/boyfriends/others."

"Ben is BEST HUUUMMMAAAN. I am SO excited. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!"

"I would never have been able to tell," Jason said, smiling and shaking his head. "Is this like, a Celia thing?" Jason asked, wincing.

"Oh no. You are definitely more his type than I am."

"Oh." Jason sounded surprised. "Huh. So, how did you and this guy meet, anyway?"

"Oh, we went to high school together. He was the captain of the football team when I was captain of the lacrosse team. He, uh, helped me through a really hard thing. And we've been best friends ever since."

"Does he flip out about you the same way you do for him?"

"No he does not. But, he's a 6'7" huge black guy. Our actions might not be construed the same way, if observed in public. Sadly."

Jason sighed. "Damn."

"Yeah, Ben usually asks that we say hi behind closed doors, so no one freaks out over this small white girl flipping her shit over this huge black guy."

"Can't you like, reign it in?"

"No. Ben is BEST HUMAN. He DESERVES to be flipped out over, thank you. I think you'll like him."

"Do I get to meet him?" Jason asked, like he wasn't sure.

"Sure, if you're around when he comes over. He's getting in tonight, but he's seeing his family tonight. He said he'll come over sometime this week."