So there they went… blasting through Earth's atmosphere! Dib was the most excited as he was whooping loudly and cheering.
"Geez Dib Worm! You act like you've never traveled through space before!" Zim complained
"IT'S BEEN A WHILE AND I'M ENJOYING MYSELF OK?!" Dib grinned as he gazed out the windows.
"I'M HAVING FUN TOOOO" Gir squealed
Zim grunted as he drove on trying to ignore the loud passengers long enough to initiate auto pilot. Once that was done he relaxed and sighed.
"Alright then! Like I said we'll be arriving in less than four hours! So do you what need to do to prepare for battle! Double check your weapons! Make sure there loaded! Make sure there charged! Looking at you Dib!" Zim ordered
"Right!" Dib and Skoodge said at the same time
Zim yawned and reclined in his seat "Wake me in two hours… and I'll do the same" he said as he dozed off.
"I'm glad he's resting…he looks terrible! That PAK transfer process is extremely painful" Skoodge whispered.
"Really? He didn't scream or anything? He's usually really dramatic" Dib questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Well as painful as it is… he's been through worse" Skoodge said with a softened look.
Dib cringed "Like what? I mean I guess I HAVE caused him a bit of damage from all our battles, maybe that toughed him up?"
"Don't flatter yourself human! Anyways it's not my place to tell you" Skoodge replied.
"I CAN TELL YOOOOU! I KNOW EVERYTHING!" Gir screamed happily.
The two shushed him and tried to get him to shut up before he woke Zim. The robot giggled as he was muffled by their hands. Dib grabbed for a bag of chips he had brought and showed them to Gir in hopes of changing his mind.
"Now Gir, you can have these chips but ONLY if your reallly quiet ok" Dib whispered
Gir nodded and they slowly released him as he jumped to take the bag of chips elsewhere on the ship. The two relaxed and started to look over their weapons as Zim instructed. Dib wondered if he should charge his arms now or wait… being that at full power it slows him down but Zim wasn't awake to ask. He decided to charge them anyway, along with his new boots.
"Here Human!" Skoodge had tossed two strange looking guns to him, they looked similar to handguns but they were black and some parts of it had an orange glow.
"To your left there is a compartment meant for charging these kinds of guns, put them in there for me and I'll let you use one alright?" Skoodge said with a smirk
"Cool! Hey what's the atmosphere like on Irk? I'm not gonna die when I get there am I?" Dib asked feeling kinda stupid that he didn't bring any kind of oxygen supply.
"It's actually quite similar to Earth's strangely enough… we have oxygen, clouds, wind and everything , however that is where the similarities end" Skoodge explained
"You should be able to breathe without a problem human but I believe Zim packed his old space suit equipment in case you can't"
Dib nodded and continued to look at all the planets and stars as they flew by. He never truly got to enjoy the marvels of space travel in the past because he was always on a mission to stop Zim. It was a welcome change of pace for the would be paranormal investigator… speaking of which
"Awww man! I was so worried about getting weapons and snacks that I forgot my camera!!!" Dib complained
"By the way what other snacks did you bring?" Skoodge said as his stomach? Growled
Dib frowned "just a bunch of popcorn, chips and granola bars, slurpees, candy and soda too!"
Skoodge looked at Dib pleadingly with huge puppy dog eyes.
"Really Skoodge? " Dib sighed in annoyance but gave in and tossed him a sprite and bag of Doritos.
"Guess I'll eat too! Can't kill aliens on an empty stomach!" Dib beamed and grabbed a Pepsi and a bag of Funyuns.
The crunching and sloshing sounds of their snacking echoed throughout the ship. Each sound getting more and more disgusting.
"Mmf your (crunch crunch) earth chips are (munch munch) tasty!" said Skoodge between bites.
Dib continued stuffing his face as well "Yeah… mff.. You. Want (crunch) to try the popcorn?"
"Yeah!"
Zim was waking up as the constant lip smacking, slurping, gulping and occasional burping plagued his antennae.
"ENOUGH!!! Why must I always be surrounded by slobbering morons!!!" Zim growled and glared at the pair.
"Chill out Zim! Try these!" Dib shouted and tossed him a bag of Funyuns.
"Ah yes the Fun chips! These are my favorite! Hand me a fizzy beverage and all shall be forgiven!" Zim declared
Dib rolled his eyes but tossed him a soda anyway. Zim perked up enjoying the soda and chips. He smirked and looked at the controls
"Alright just an hour left! Are you two fools ready?" Zim asked
"Yes sir!" Skoodge saluted
"I guess so" Dib shrugged
"You guess so? Really Dib Stink? I suppose you need to be… what do you humans call it? Hyped up!" Zim said
"Hyped up? Do you even know what that means space boy?" Dib chuckled.
"OF COURSE I DO! Computer! Play Gaz's Death Metal Playlist to hype up the Dib human for battle!" Zim commanded
"Oh no! not Gaz's music!!!" Dib screamed preparing for the blaring guitars and metal screams to fill the ship.
"I… Like it!" Skoodge yelled
"What?" Zim yelled
"I LIKE IT!"
"WHAAT?"
"HE SAID HE LIKES IT!"
"WHAAAAT?"
"NEVERMIND!!!"
"WHAAAAAT? YOU KNOW I DON'T CARE I CANT HEAR YOU IMBECILES!"
Zim grinned seeing his former nemesis squirm although that was not his original intent and then he turned his attention to his own weapons, making adjustments where need be and making sure his space suit was charged.
"I can't speak for you fools! But I'm pretty hyped!" Zim shouted over music and looked back at his minions.
Skoodge gave him a thumbs up and Dib flipped him off. Zim smirked and turned off the auto pilot feature. He took control and sped up the voot cruiser causing everyone to be thrown back into their seats!
"Muhahahahaha!!!!! It's been too long since I've had a reason to kill! To cause DESTRUCTION!!!!" Zim laughed maniacally the rest of the way there.
Dib was silently cursing his life and wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, until they finally reached the Reddish Pink Planet surrounded by two crystallized rings.
Zim stopped suddenly making everyone jerk hard in their seats except for Gir who came flying into the windshield.
"hahahaha! Do it again! Do it again!"
Zim stared at his home planet, knowing that for better or worse, this was it, the very last time he would see Irk.
"It's been a long time huh Zim?" Skoodge asked as he also stared at the planet.
"Last time I was here I nearly destroyed this planet with my Frontline Battle Mech! It's about time I finished the job!" Zim grinned evilly.
"Computer! Initiate Stealth Mode! Locate the nearest Control Brain Center and land us there!"
"That's stupid! You should land farther away in case they destroy the ship! Moron!" The computer remarked
"Don't argue with Zim! Do as I say!"
"Fiiiiine Idiot!"
The Voot was then cloaked, completely invisible to all but the passengers inside. They slowly descended into the mostly mechanical planet, not a single tree or plant to be seen.
Dib started to hyperventilate, his heart pounding rapidly "Okay, okay it's okay I'm just on an alien planet, with my old idiotic alien scum enemy, thousands if not millions of light years away from my own planet, FINE FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE!"
"I think Big head is broken!!! He needs a hug!" Gir screamed and hugged the panicking human.
"Calm down human!" Skoodge shook Dib trying to get him to snap out of his panic attack
Zim shook his head "Pathetic! Dib! Absolutely… pathetic!"
Dib slowed his breathing and tried to calm himself. "Shut…shut up…"
The Voot landed and Zim stood up and activated the stealth mode on his suit.
"Gir! Come here!"
"wheere?" he asked spinning his head around in a circle until he was lifted up by the unseen Zim who apparently activated Gir's stealth mode as he disappeared from sight.
"I CAN'T SEE MY LEGS!!!"
Dib was handed a pair of red googles from Zim "Take these Dib Worm! You'll need them in order to follow my lead"
Dib put them on and pressed a button and suddenly Zim and Gir were visible again "Guess it's a good thing I brought my stealth suit too!" Dib said and disappeared.
Soon they were all in stealth mode, weapons charged and loaded and slowly made their way out of the ship.
"Whooaa! So this is what horrible planet spawned you two!" Dib said as he took in the sights of the pinkish red sky, the metallic ground beneath him clanking as he took his steps forward.
"Shut up Dib Stink! There is no point in sneaking around if you're going to be loud" Zim whispered harshly.
Zim went on ahead to an enormous metal chamber that glowed eerily and had two control panels on each side of it. He waved Skoodge and Dib over as he punched in some kind of code into the control panels. Whatever he did worked as the chamber opened two steel doors and allowed them entrance.
Inside there they were, giant brains radiating green and purple light. One would say they were the size of a house. They didn't seem to notice the intruders, luckily enough for them. The four of them sneaking past quietly as can be. Zim was muffling Gir and Dib was fighting another panic attack but soon Zim reached what he was after. The insides of the chamber were flesh like and pulsating, there were little blueish purple bubbles that appeared to be Zim's target as he crashed his fist into one and inserted the device Gir and Mini moose had made.
Skoodge and Dib started to slightly panic as the ground began to quake and the room glowed brighter and brighter. Zim on the other hand was focused on the task at hand looking at a datapad he retrieved from his PAK.
Threat level 10%...8%...5%..0
"Alright Gir, Get out your storage container" Zim commanded quietly
Gir's eyes turned red and he grabbed an enormous cylinder out of his body, logically it shouldn't have even been able to fit inside him but nothing about Gir was logical.
Zim grabbed a tentacle from one of the larger control brains and attached it to the container. He entered a command and the control brain soon began shrinking, the tentacle attached was pulsating and glowing green it's contents being transferred to the container.
"This is gross! And nerve racking! I can't help feeling like these crazy things are gonna attack us at ANY MOMENT!" Dib screamed internally, keeping an eye on the huge monstrosities.
Soon there was nothing left of the brain.
"Okay that's one down… 100 more to go… so far so good" Zim thought to himself
He grabbed another tentacle and repeated the process. Dib and Skoodge standing by growing ever more nervous by the minute.
Zim repeated this process until there were no more brains left.
"That went better than expected… but we're not done yet, we have 3 more chambers to go" Zim explained
"What? This sucks Zim! Isn't there a way to do this faster?" Dib whined
"What makes things worse is that those were just the baby brains…the ones in control will be the hardest to infect" Skoodge said
"Silence you fools! Now that you mention it Skoodge… The main control brains are my next target! As you said this may not go as smoothly but at least we'll be stronger" Zim rambled and reached for a cord out of his PAK and connected to the container with a smirk. The contents poured into Zim's PAK and Zim seemingly got greener, taller and buffer.
"Victory for Zim! Now that's more like it!" he laughed quietly with a victorious fist in the air.
He waved Skoodge over and did the same for him.
Skoodge was now at shoulder length of Dib who was 6'2
"I'm taller… I never thought I'd be taller" Skoodge beamed.
"Shut up Skoodge! It's gonna take a while to get to the next control brain chamber so activate your rocket boots! You too Dib!" Zim ordered.
The three hovered over the way too silent chrome plated city until they came across the next chamber, this one much bigger. As they landed a feeling of dread filled the air and an unpleasant sight laid before their eyes. The corpses of Irkens were scattered upon the ground.
Once again Dib freaked out "Zim? Whaaa… what do you… you don't think.."
"Relax Dib! They were most likely deactivated that's all" Zim cut him off
Dib pointed to an unfortunate Irken "This one is CLEARLY IMPALED!"
"Probably a PAK malfunction"
"This one's face is melted off"
"He probably has horrible aim"
Dib stuttered and huffed but realized this is Zim he's trying to reason with and Zim never listens to reason.
"I give up! Get us all killed then!"
"Alright then get your weapons ready and don't fuckin panic Dib! This time they will most likely fight back and the second you panic you're dead! Understand that only Zim is allowed to kill you!" he lectured
Dib and Skoodge nodded as Zim opened up the next chamber. Dib chose to stay by the entrance this time and Skoodge stayed behind Zim's back. These brains were the size of skyscrapers, their chamber much harder to navigate than the last as it barely glowed.
Zim was growing impatient trying aimlessly to find the weak spot he needed. The fleshy walls began to glow brighter and pulsate harder. Not a good sign!
"Shit!!! They're waking up!"
The ground shook violently and the chamber glowed a bright purple shade illuminating the room. A piercing high pitched sound brought Zim and Skoodge to their knees holding their antennae in pain. Dib however didn't know why, he didn't hear anything. However he armed himself ready to strike when he saw fit. Zim groaned in pain beside an oblivious Gir who stared at him with his tongue out
"Gir! Listen! Listen…. Carefully! Put the disc in this part of the chamber!" Zim shouted and pointed to an area on his datapad
"Do you understand!?"
"yeeaahhh no"
INTRUDERS!!! WE KNOW NOT WHERE YOU ARE BUT YOU WILL SUFFER REGARDLESS!!!!!
Another high pitched sound caused the two Irken warriors to cry out in pain, their visions starting to blur.
"Argh! Stupid ass brain!!!!" Zim yelled and pulled out a machine gun looking weapon out of his PAK and unleashed on the nearest brain. It was surprisingly effective as cauterized chunks of brains scattered across the chamber like rain.
"Hey Zim that's great and all but don't you need these brains to live?" Dib asked loudly causing Zim to facepalm himself!
OH HAHAHA IT'S ZIM WE'RE DEALING WITH
I THOUGHT WE ORDERED HIS TERMINATION DAYS AGO… THE TALLEST HAVE FAILED US!
IT MATTERS NOT! HE IS HERE NOW!
Forgive me if I'm wrong but didn't we also declare him the greatest Irken to ever live also?
YES… YES … WE DID… HOWEVER NOW HE'S KILLING US…SOOOO…
YES RALPH'S RULING IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT! HE MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE
"YOU STUPID BRAINS SHOULD LISTEN TO RALPH! THE ONLY BRAIN TO KNOW THE SUPERIORITY OF ZIIIIM!!!" Zim shrieked
You killed Ralph though…
"FUCK!" Zim, Dib and Skoodge said in unison as the rest of the ground quaked and cracked beneath them and the brains glowed violently and unleashed their tentacles
A/N: Hello beloved readers! Sorry to end on a cliffhanger… actually I'm not I've always wanted to do that lol. This was extremely difficult to write as I tried to stay as close to canon as possible! I researched Irk and Irken military vehicles etc… It was also hard to convey exactly everything I pictured in my head so if I failed at that let me know with a review and I'll do my best to work on it… As always my readers you are appreciated thank you for reading!!!