Always Be My Baby

Time seemed to speed up and slow down at will. Some days dragged on for weeks and some weeks for mere minutes, but Miranda loved every second with her boys. She was finally almost 20 and had such an amazing life already. It was hard, but she wouldn't trade it for anything. Ben made sure to provide for them the way he promised to, so her only jobs were to go to school and care for their son. She hadn't known what to expect, but she loved being a mother and a wife. As a progressive woman, it was a tough pill to swallow but watching Ben with BJ pushed all those thoughts away. Miranda finished cooking dinner, using one of the recipes from her mother's personal cookbook. BJ was sitting in a rocker on top of the table, sleeping, but when she turned to look at him, they locked eyes. "Hi, Tater Tot," she said in a soft voice, grinning wildly. "You let mommy finish cooking, huh? That was very nice of you." Miranda picked him up, cradling the two-month-old in her arms. The smile on his face made her heart quake. The kind that she figured would only happen when Ben did it. How wrong she was! Ben came from the bedroom, scratching his chest. He put his arms around her waist. "Dinner's almost ready," she told him.

"Thank you," he said.

The oven began to beep and she handed the baby to Ben. "Why'd he stop smiling as soon as he saw me?" Ben asked, frowning.

"Because you're not smiling," she told him. "He's mimicking your face."

Her husband nodded and made a silly face as she pulled the dish out and placed it on the stove. "There it is! Aaaand he looks just like you."

Miranda turned off the oven. "Quit your whining, he'll be your twin soon enough." Two weeks later, she felt him poking her gently and could hear his smile before she opened her eyes. "What?" He laughed at her grumpiness. "What, Ben Warren?"

"It's your birthday, Miranda Bailey-Warren."

She waved him off. "I'm asleep."

"And so is BJ, so if you want to do some celebrating without the soundtrack of a crying baby, follow me." He got out of bed knowing she would be right behind him after she checked on their child.

In their living room, his hands found her hips, revving her up. "Morning delight?" She asked eagerly putting her lips on his neck.

"Yes, because my wife is finally 20!" She mushed his head softly as they laughed. They'd been together for a few years now and they knew each other so well.

Ben's hands went to her stomach scaling the stretchmarks from her pregnancy. "You're so fucking sexy," he said in her ear making her shudder. Miranda bit her bottom lip as they moved toward the sofa. "It's your birthday, so you get to choose."

His voice caused her thighs to clench. "Sit down."

"Yes, ma'am." He did as he was told, removing his boxers. She rid herself of her shorts and climbed on top of him. He pulled her panties to the side as she slowly sank her body onto his. "God," he called out against her chest.

Miranda took off her shirt and he kissed her breasts slowly, arousing her even more. She rocked on top of him feeling him go deeper. "Ben…"

"Yeah, babe?"

She kissed him as a response swiping her tongue along his lips unlocking them. He grabbed the back of her head, pulling her braids a little causing her to moan. "Ben…"

"Yes, Miranda?" He chuckled.

"This feels so good, baby," she said. He lifted his hips creating a new angle. She could feel him throbbing inside of her and dropped her hands back on his knees. Ben put his hands on her stomach balancing her as she shook. "Oh, God! God!"

"Shhh!" Miranda gripped his neck, tightening her hold on him as she climaxed. They continued to move slowly enjoying each other. Her husband kissed her chest saying: "Happy 20th Birthday, Miranda."

"Thank you, Benjamin."

"You're good?"

Their lips met again. "Yes," she said smiling widely. "I'm good. And I, uh, hope you got me a real gift, sir, because sex does not count."

He tapped his cheek and she leaned over to kiss him. "I have something up my sleeve."

"Like what?" She asked standing up and putting on her clothes. Through the quiet, she heard BJ rouse. "And your son is up."

"Hey, I can change him, but I cannot feed him," he said biting her chin gently.

"Ha… ha."

…

The sound of BJ crying woke Ben out of his sleep. He felt next to him and realized that Miranda was already out of bed. He could hear her trying to soothe their son. Something crashed to the ground and he sat up quickly. "What's that?" He asked, turning on the light.

"Sorry," she said.

"It's fine, Miranda. Do you need help?"

"Uh, no, no, go back to sleep. We'll go to the living room."

He ran a hand over his face. "No, come back to bed."

"You have finals tomorrow," she said. "I don't want to bother you."

He chuckled a little. "You feeding our son wouldn't bother me. Ever."

She smiled and sat on the bed and he helped her get comfortable, placing the pillow he'd been using behind her back. "Thank you," she replied.

"You're welcome. Plus, have you seen the living room. It's a mess."

The smile that she'd been wearing faded. "What does that mean?"

Ben watched her left her shirt and allow BJ to latch on to her nipple. "Nothing," he said moving in for a kiss.

Miranda leaned back, not falling for it. "Don't play with me. What did you mean by that slick comment?" She didn't bother looking at him and he sighed.

"I didn't mean anything by it." He tried to kiss her again and she refused. He'd really made her mad. "I'm tired and just talking out of my ass."

"It sounded like a dig and I don't appreciate it." Her tone was serious.

Clearing his throat, saying: "I didn't mean it maliciously, baby. It was… it was a joke."

Miranda finally looked over at him. "I didn't find it funny."

"I know and I'm sorry." Ben was extremely tired, but he thought better of going to sleep. He honestly felt bad for his poor taste in judgment. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

She was so quiet for a long time that he thought she'd fallen asleep. "I do my best. I may not have a job outside of the house, but I work damn hard." When he was about to respond, she cut him off: "Between studying and raising our son and keeping our home, I get tired. Really tired. Like… I'm exhausted right now, barely holding onto BJ, but I'm fu—I'm doing it!" She took a deep breath. "Because some days, Ben… some days I just don't want to do anything. I don't to study or read or clean or… or… or cook or even be a …" Tears fell from her eyes landing on their son. "I don't even want to get out of bed," she told him. What was she saying exactly?

"Babe," he started unsure of what to say. Why hadn't he noticed this? He felt sick to his stomach.

She shook her head, sprinkling more tears. "But I do it all because I love you. And I love him." She was crying now. "And I love us."

He exhaled and leaned over to kiss her cheek, her tears falling on his lips. "Okay, okay, okay."

"I'm sorry, okay? Truly. Honestly. It was stupid as shit." Miranda gave the smallest smile. "And it won't happen again." Trying a third time, she let him kiss her cheek. "And I'll help you out more around the house so you don't feel like you're all alone."

Miranda pulled the sleeping BJ from her breast. "I just need grace."

"Okay."

"And, uh," she said wiping her eyes, "that was a nice speech and all, but take your pillow and your jokes and go sleep on the couch."

"Miranda…"

She shook her head. "Just go." Ben lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He'd screwed up. This was the first time that Miranda had kicked him out of their bed. He no longer heard her whispering and singing to BJ so he closed his eyes going to sleep. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he woke up, peering at the clock on the stove. It was three in the morning. "I don't like this," she said walking over him.

He sat up. "Don't like what?"

"Fighting."

"We're fighting? I thought we just had a little… a little riff."

Miranda sat on the opposite end of the couch. "It was more than that for me," she admitted.

Ben slid over and put his arm around her and pulled them closer together. "I am so sorry." He really needed her to know that he hadn't really meant what he'd said. "Miranda, you're doing a great job. I wouldn't have it any other way. The way you take care of us, no one could do it better." His lips found hers and she let him embrace her. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," she said turning to kiss him.

A few weeks later, he woke up from a nap to see his son staring up at him. "Did your mommy tell you to watch me?" The boy started smiling immediately. "Is something funny?" Ben asked with a smile of his own. He picked up BJ, holding him close. "Look, let's get something straight, Benjamin Junior. You have to be on daddy's side, okay?" Father and son looked at each other. Ben felt his spine straightened. Disbelief hit him as it often did when he thought about the fact that BJ was his. It was still so surreal. "Okay?" Kissing the boy's head again, he got out of bed. "Let's go and find mommy." He rocked his son as they walked to the front of the apartment and saw her sitting on the sofa watching TV.

"Thank you for baby-sitting," she said turning to them.

He furrowed his brow, confused. "Huh?"

"I'm talking to the little one." Miranda reached for him and Ben shook his head. "Really?"

He sat down next to her. "You had your chance. He's Team Daddy now, right, baby boy?"

His wife turned to him. "My Tater Tot will always be Team Mommy," she laughed and took the baby who went happily.

Ben leaned over and kissed BJ's head. "See, son, even when you make seemingly wrong choices like choosing your mother over me, you'll always be my baby." The smile on their child's face was a smaller replica of the one on his mother's face. The same one she wore on days that he came home early or when he surprised her with a car for her birthday. Ben grinned kissing his son's head again and then his wife's. He thought back to that night in Miranda's dorm nearly a year ago and wondered if he would change any bit of it or would he just let everything play out the way it had. He looked from his wife to his son. These two were the light of his life. Even with their struggles, he wouldn't exchange any part of their journey. BJ was growing handsomely and Miranda was his heartbeat. Without them, he didn't know who he was. And although he and Miranda were still young and had a whole lifetime to go, he was ready to do whatever it took to keep those smiles on their faces.

"What if we took a road trip back home for the weekend to see Curt and our parents?" Miranda asked pulling him from his thoughts.

Ben grinned. "Let's do it."