How long is the average chapter in fanfiction? I feel like mine are pretty short. I want more conversations and in-depth analysis with/of Fin, so there will be more of that. And I'll fix this one to have a more natural progression, too (I was getting tired but was excited to post this).

Also, I think a decent section of next chapter will deal with the private aftermath of this and then discussing the next steps with Barba. If you think that Olivia might be a little OOC in the last section, you might be right. But, to be fair, I wouldn't be normal if I was in her situation.

More importantly, the two-part premiere with Liv and ELLIOT is on April 1st! Don't quote me on that, though, because I saw some headlines about more covid delays, so it might take longer. Don't get me wrong, their relationship was hella toxic at times and whatnot, but I have no other sources of excitement in my life so I'm going to take what I can get. Plus, just imagine the smut that's going to be written on April 2nd. Please update me if you have more accurate or recent information.

Anyway, I digress. I hope you like it!

Day 5: Olivia's Apartment, 8:32.

Olivia's eyelids involuntarily scrunched further together as she wearily awoke, her entire body resisting her effort to start the day. Eventually, she managed to sit up, stretch, and rub the sleep out of her eyes.

Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around her midsection and lazily tried to get her back in a supine position. Instead of being scared at the surprise contact, Olivia only laughed as she watched Rafael's sleeping body try and move closer to her own. "Rafa. Rafa, wake up."

A guttural groan of complaint was the only response, which only made Olivia smile wider. She decided to let him rest for a little while longer, as long as he was willing to let her go. After one or two attempts, his relocated arm stayed put by his side and Olivia sat back against the headboard to take inventory of today's schedule.

First, the daily routine of breakfast for Noah. Second, Lucy is coming over to watch Noah for a couple of hours. Third, Olivia would try and talk to Tess before Joe's interrogation tomorrow. Then finally, she and Rafael would spend the rest of the day with Noah.

A small knock on the lower half of the bedroom door snapped her out of any negative thoughts regarding the talk with Tess. "Mommy!"

Olivia kept her voice moderately quiet, even though she surely knew the fate of Rafael's rest once Noah entered the room. "Come in, love."

The door opened as a tiny toddler sleepily padded into the room. This was one of her favorite moments with Noah; his little dinosaur pajamas, toddler clinginess, and little wobbly walk all made him the cutest thing on the planet.

With great effort, Noah managed to get up onto the bed, where he crawled on top of his mother's lap. He sat contently for a couple of peaceful moments but eventually twisted his body so that he could look at Olivia. Although having a toddler stand on your legs was awkward and a bit painful, she wouldn't trade this scene for the world. Luckily, he soon lazily collapsed against her chest and put his legs around her sides, which made for a much more comfortable position.

Olivia squeezed him tighter against her, taking in every ounce of goodness that her little boy resonated. Her son was always the one beacon that could relieve stress every time without fail. Whether it was his funny antics, his interesting and sometimes incorrect interpretations of the world, or just hugging his little body, everything about him brought a comforting wave of peace over her.

She saw Noah raise his head a little in her periphery, and his big brown eyes looking up at her only made him impossibly more adorable. Soon, though, a tiny little finger reached up to press against one of the bruises on her neck and Oliva squirmed with discomfort.

She gently shooed his little hand away and looked down to meet his eyes. "That hurt, Noah."

Noah leaned his head against her again, but still tilted his head up so that they could gaze at one another. "Green and yella?"

Olivia tried to let his innocent inquiry roll off her with little time to really think about it, but Noah noticing her bruises shot a line of heat through her chest. The boy had only seen her with makeup on recently – not much, just enough to cover her injuries beyond the inspection standard of a toddler – but he didn't seem upset, just curious. "They're bruises, Noah. Like when you ran into the corner of the coffee table a few days ago."

Noah sat back on her legs and clumsily lowered the zipper on his footie pajamas to reveal a barely-there light-yellow mark on his side. "Dis one hurt. I cry. You member?"

"I do remember." Olivia usually would have taken this as an opportunity to explain the color stages of bruises to her surely-captivated audience, but she wanted to direct the conversation far away from her assault. She helped him zipper his "dinosaurs" back up and pulled him closer again, smelling the strawberry scent of his freshly washed hair.

He finally noticed Rafael, and the following question was almost comical because his voice was the same volume but in whisper form. "Raffle be sleeping?"

"Yes, Rafael is sleeping." Olivia hoisted the boy closer and greatly exaggerated her words as she leaned in real close and whispered in a mischievous tone. "Would you like to wake him up?"

The excited toddler immediately sat up in her lap and quickly wiggled out of it. "Yes! I does!" He made quick work of maneuvering to Rafael's sleeping body and stood next to him on the bed.

The softness of the comforters made it hard for him to stand straight and balanced, so Olivia put a hand on his back to steady him.

Noah looked at his mother, grinning ear to ear, and loudly whispered once more. "One, two, thfree!" At the end of the countdown, Noah jumped and flung his body so that it landed perpendicular to Rafael's stomach.

Now deciding that the shock value was spent, Noah continued with his mission as he bounced, shook, and yelled Rafael awake. "Raffle! Raffle! Got wake up now! Gotta wake up!"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh as Rafael's resistance sharply juxtaposed Noah's insistence and absolute joy at the opportunity to wake the groaning man up. She was unsure as to why exactly this was so fun and exciting to him but took welcome pleasure in his joy.

Eventually, Rafael came to his senses and realized what was happening. Unbeknownst to Noah, Rafael rolled over and made eye contact with Olivia, trying not to smile. When the time was right, he shot up to surprise Noah and captured the boy in his arms, putting him in his lap and shaking him lightly as the older man dramatically pretended to be aggravated by the boy's antics.

Rafael began to tickle him mercilessly while keeping up with the faux-anger act that made Noah giggle. "Conejito! Why are you waking me up?"

This only made Noah laugh louder with mischief.

When they had all calmed down enough to catch their breath, Noah breathing the heaviest, Olivia struggled to get her son to part with Rafael but managed to place him in between both of their bodies. Now, both adults rested their backs against the headboard as Noah contently lie on his back between them.

Still on his back, the toddler looked up at his mother without moving his head. "What we doin' today?"

Figuring that he only needed an answer that applied to him, Olivia kept it vague and cut out any important information regarding her venture to the precinct. "Rafa and I are going to work for a bit, and Lucy is going to come watch you."

Noah pouted at the news that his best friends were going to be departing so soon, especially after more than half a week of unlimited access.

Even his pouting face was adorable to Olivia and she glanced over at Rafael to give a knowing look, which he reciprocated. "It will only be a couple of hours, love. I promise."

"Pomise? Money-back gurruntee?"

"Yes, I promise. And a money-back guarantee." Olivia turned her head to face her best friend across the bed and grinned. "I don't know why he likes infomercials, but he does. I don't even think that he knows what they mean. It takes the promise of a life-time warranty and free-shipping to get him to daycare sometimes. He's the only toddler I know that wants Oxyclean for Christmas alongside his Paw Patrol toys."

Hearing the name of his favorite commercial product, Noah chimed in with a familiar slogan. "Oxyclean gets da tough stains out!"

Rafael chuckled and made sure that he faced Olivia so that they could share their humor at his odd hobby together. "He's probably going to be one of those people that like the Superbowl commercials."

Olivia turned to watch Noah again as he regurgitated infomercial script in poorly memorized toddler babble. "We'll see."

They all sat in bed for another half-hour, mostly talking, playing, and watching Noah's favorite YouTube videos before reluctantly deciding that it was time to start the day.

Day 5: Rafael's Car, 10:30.

The jovial beginning of the day was starting to fade as Olivia and Rafael rode to the precinct. The car shook slightly as it slowly trudged forward in New York City traffic, and the ambient movement was peaceful. Still, though, they were both uneasy.

Even though he was driving – Olivia didn't care to drive for multiple reasons – Rafael took a couple of moments to gauge her feelings. He eventually decided to reach out, and wisely phrased the question in a way that didn't allow Olivia to deny her anxiety. "It's okay to be nervous. What's bothering you the most?"

It sounded a little unnatural to her, as if he had carefully planned the question like a shrink. Nevertheless, she was grateful for his help and answered honestly. "I... A lot is riding on my ability to convince her to come forward... and I know it's half my job usually but... there is so much at stake for me..."

The observant part of him knew that Olivia wanted a plan, not necessarily direct emotional comfort that only made her feel more vulnerable. "Maybe we can cut a deal."

He was met with a confused look. Tess was in no way a perp in this situation, unless he was referring to Joe. But why...?

"I meant that Tess and I can make an arrangement about adding a rape charge. She comes forward but doesn't testify. If it doesn't go to trial, he goes away with a rape charge on top of everything else. If it does go to trial, you'll testify that Joe took her to the bedroom and you heard the rape, so she doesn't have to. That alone wouldn't be enough, but I'm going to try and convince Burrel to get Roxy to plead to accomplice to rape. That would automatically implicate Joe, especially if Roxy flips. If Tess comes forward, either way we'd be covered for the rape charge."

Olivia took more than a couple of seconds to take it all in. She was ineffably relieved that there was a plan and touched that Rafael had thought it out so well. "You've really thought about this, huh?"

Rafael stared at the road ahead of him. "All night."

That would explain his tiredness this morning. Olivia felt a little guilty for burdening him with this task, but there is no lawyer she would trust more.

"This isn't going to be like last time, Liv." He didn't bother to look at his passenger, he knew that she was confused, so he explained with a steely resolve. "I'm going to get him. On every charge. Every single one."

The meaning of his words shook Olivia to her core as memories of the Lewis verdict came back. But more importantly, the full of his guilt finally registered. "It wasn't your fault," she began sincerely, "It wasn't. There was nothing that you could have done. If anything, I held back so much... So many details that you needed... I left out a few charges that could have been brought against him..."

Rafael did not expect to stress her out like this and quickly recovered. "It's okay, Liv. But you should know that I have every intention of making Joe wish he was dead."

His merciless lawyer demeanor returned once more, only to soften again when he saw that Olivia was still trying to hide her anxiety by fidgeting.

"What is it?"

"What if Tess doesn't admit to...it. What then?"

"Her original statement, and her denial, goes into the case file. We'd have to rely on Joe's or Roxy's admission, but I don't even know if they're cooperating. Fin wasn't able to get her to talk the other day..." Rafael caught himself catastrophizing, and only stopped this familiar trend because it might upset Olivia. "But I don't think we should think about this until it happens."

To be perfectly honest, Rafael was so eager to change the subject because he hadn't quite figured out how he would prosecute the rape if Tess doesn't come forward, if Roxy doesn't flip, or Joe doesn't confess. He was going to have to find a way to gain ground on at least one of those fronts if he had any shot.

Olivia didn't notice his worried expression, as she was too busy observing the advertisement on the truck in the next lane. "There's something else, too... Amanda and Carisi... they know what happened, they were there..."

"They're just concerned, they won't say anything to anyone. If-"

"Not to mention the fact that I have no clue what I'm going to say to Tess." Olivia barely heard his assurances, let alone know that she cut him off. She shook her head in disapproval of her lack of preparation. "I suppose I do know, from working at SVU. But I haven't really... I didn't want to think about it... I don't think that Tess understands how important this is to me... And I'm not even sure that I should be putting this burden all on her. She's only a teenager. We are both just passing the buck..."

Rafael let her ramble on this tangent for a few more moments, but she quieted as they approached the familiar building. Even just talking about this subject in the same zip code as the precinct was unthinkable.

As Rafael slowed down and backed into her assigned parking spot, Olivia braced herself for the barrage of reality that was about to invade her already weakened defenses.

Fuck.

Day 5: 16th Precinct, 11:06.

Olivia and Rafael walked in with their emotional armor fully donned. Olivia decided to wear her signature outfit, a black blazer and matching pants, as a comforting security blanket of sorts. For some reason, this outfit was familiar in a way that gave her a sense of confidence. Rafael, too, was employing all the defenses he could manage. Although he was not dressed in his typical suit and silk tie, his confident walk and his cutthroat professional attitude was the neon coloring that told any predators "don't fuck with me".

Still, their facades were hard to maintain. One of the denser beat cops had asked Liv where she had been, only for his more situationally aware partner to sharply yank him back with an apologetic glance. She paused to exterminate her internal conspiracies and paranoia of gossip, braced herself, and continued walking towards the squad room.

Although there was a significant sense of guilt when she ignored Rollins and Carisi – who were at their desks and only noticed her presence when she brushed past them acknowledgement – she wanted to shorten this walk of shame. Lindstrom would balk at the use of that phrase, but it certainly felt like one.

Now, Rafael and Olivia were alone with Fin in her office. Rafael made an extra note to shut the door and lock it behind him, but Fin already had the foresight to close the blinds.

Fin, ever the emotional diplomat, didn't immediately address the issue but made sure that she wouldn't have to be the one to bring it up. "Hey, Liv." He crossed the room and motioned to the mirror. "Tess is in there. She just arrived a couple of minutes ago. I barely managed to convince her mother to leave her alone in there, but she'll be out of the way for a bit."

Olivia nodded in his direction as she tried to formulate a plan. Finally, she came up with one that satisfied the needs of her original mission while also allowing her to talk with Fin.

She turned to Barba. "Can you go in there and explain your... arrangement? I'll join you in a moment."

Rafael, wisely understanding her intentions, took one of the two pre-copied case files from off her desk and unthreateningly entered the room.

Olivia dialed down the knob attached to the interview room so that their sensitive conversation would not be interrupted by Barba's explanation to Tess, who was about to sign the confirmation paper for her original statement. Once that paper was processed, it would always show that Tess denied her rape at first even if she decided to change her mind later.

Liv sat down on the couch, the cushions slightly deflating under her weight, as she made eye contact with Fin. "I've heard that you disappeared for a little while yesterday."

"Ah, Amanda told you." He saw Olivia wondering how he knew, so he continued. "She called me a bunch of times, so I figured it must have been her."

"Mind telling me what happened?"

Fin, who was previously sitting on the corner of the desk, slowly joined her on the other end of the gray couch. He paused to formulate his explanation but was still unsure that his words could properly express his thoughts. "I, uh... just needed a little break from SVU."

Now with her hands resting on her knees, Olivia continued to look at him, unsure if she should leave it be or press him to continue.

Luckily, Fin needed to feel the cathartic release of getting this off his chest. "This case was so... sudden. We didn't even know that he existed until Lucy got that text. Everything happened so quickly..."

Olivia had a feeling about where this was headed. After all, they were closer than most siblings, even though there was an unspoken understanding about respecting each other's boundaries. "No matter what you are thinking right now, and I have a couple of guesses, I need you to know that it is not your fault."

Fin shifted – these emotional conversations did not come easily for either of them – and tried to find the right words. "Well... Munch, Stabler, Cap, and I... we protected you. Now they're all gone. Everything that happens to you is on me now, or at least that's what it feels like."

"Fin-"

"Don't even try to tell me otherwise, Liv. I appreciate it, I do. And I know that you aren't holding it against me, but..." The older man turned his head to avoid looking at her. "Stabler would beat my ass if he found out that I didn't do anything. Hell, I almost wish he were here right now. He'd kick Joe's fucking skull in."

She gave him a moment to calm down before she responded. "Well... he's not here. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not... it doesn't matter. There wasn't exactly anything you could do." Olivia moved closer and put her hand on his, squeezing it for comfort. "Intervening would have only made it worse."

He looked away again, and silence permeated the space for minutes before he spoke again. "I beat myself up for years after... Sealview," he sharply avoided the name and put his head in his hands, "But I found some comfort in the fact that I did something. I tried my best. I stopped him before... that happened. But this time... I stood there. Silently. I did nothing."

Olivia fully understood how rare it was for Fin to openly display his thoughts like this, much less verbally explain them. Instead of refuting them with assurances, Olivia decided to validate them in hopes that Fin wouldn't go too far back into his shell. Besides, sometimes people just wanted to have their problems acknowledged rather than solved for them.

"I'm so sorry that you feel like this, Fin. I am." She moved her body closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. "But at least we still have each other."

"Always, Liv." He guided both their bodies until they were resting against the back of the couch, her head still resting on him in a way that brought about an unexpected sense of peace. "Always."

They sat like that for a few minutes, recharging their emotional batteries and, in Fin's case, reconstructing mental walls. A knock on the door interrupted their peace.

Barba quickly entered the room, visibly frustrated.

"Tess isn't coming forward. She's adamant. Maybe you should give it your shot now before she signs the papers."

Olivia sighed, disappointed – she knew it couldn't be this easy but held out hope that she would be given a break – and gave one last understanding look to Fin.

He understood instantly and opened the door for her. "I'll be here when you're done."

Day 5: Interview Room, 11:28.

Olivia entered the well-lit room with a careful sense of purpose – she clearly had a mission but still kept in mind that both of them were in very sensitive situations – and sat down at the end of the table nearest to the door. Since Tess was sitting to the seat on the right of the other end, Olivia figured that her position was close enough to emotionally connect but far away enough to not be threatening.

Tess, who must have previously spun in the chair because it faced the other direction, had her back to the new visitor as she started to fiddle with the lock screen on her phone to appear busy. She did this in the hallways after school sometimes, to avoid awkward interactions with passing teachers, but the exigence was much higher this time. She was done talking.

The oddly passionate stranger from just before, who was probably a lawyer but he forgot to actually introduce himself, had laid out the file on the desk in front of her and carefully explained the situation in simplistic terms. Still, it was all gibberish to her. The man stopped to clarify, explain, and confirm her understanding, but she just couldn't wrap her head around any of it. It was like when trying to read her history homework; she read and heard the words but they never seemed to internalize beyond the surface level of being able to regurgitate the information without true understanding.

Now, according to the gentle footsteps and the creaking chair, he had returned. Tess did not hesitate to make her disapproval clear and audibly sighed while refusing to acknowledge his presence. Since the townhouse, she had been much more vocal and persistent with her desires, dislikes, and needs, never stopping until she got what she wanted. This was particularly odd for a girl who was usually soft and timid, but Tess couldn't help it. She felt guilty for overcompensating for her inability to protest in the townhouse, but having her "no's" go unacknowledged – even over something basic – felt all too familiar in a sickening way.

Tess finally got tired of waiting for him to leave and spun in her chair to face her visitor. "Can I sign the statement now? I want to go ho-"

The words died on her lips as she saw who it actually was.

Olivia registered the girl's shock but figured that her presence reminded Tess about the incident only five days earlier. "I'm just here to-"

"I'm sorry." Tess blurted out her apology before she could stop herself. "I'm so sorry."

"Wha-"

Tears began to well in her eyes. "I should have crashed the car. Or... or called someone. I should have... I could have hit him." Tess haphazardly placed her phone down on the table and motioned with her arms to emphasize her point. "But I just kept driving..."

Olivia suddenly understood what the teenager was apologizing for with a guilty fervor. "Oh, Tess..." She semi-cautiously approached the girl and quickly sat down in the chair next to hers. "You couldn't have done anything."

Tess leaned forward, crying but not hysterically, and apologized again. "But I could have and we both know it. I could have fought him for you like I did in the... in the bedroom..." A new round of tears burst forth.

Taking Tess's lean into her as an invitation for physical contact, Olivia took both of her hands in hers. "Tess, look at me."

Luckily, the teenager wasn't hysterical or shaking. Her tears were of a quieter kind, which made it much easier to soothe them away.

"Look at me. Please."

When Tess finally raised her head, she freed one of her hands to wipe the warm tears from her eyes and used the other to squeeze Olivia's comforting ones.

Olivia, possibly unwisely, decided to take a massive Lindstrom-esque risk. "Do you blame me for what happened in the bedroom?" After she said it, she almost physically cringed and prayed that this would work.

Tess also cringed, but her reaction was due to the reminder of last week's events. She was reminded of when she fought, and when she didn't. Every night she had replayed every aspect of the hostage situation, wondering what she could have done. What she should have done.

Still, she answered quickly, although her voice was clogged with the strain of crying. "Of course not. You couldn't do anything."

Olivia held her hands tighter but still managed to keep the embrace gentle while she fought to keep eye contact. "Neither could you."

Both women – Tess has been involuntarily promoted from girlhood, much too early for modern standards – felt the comparison sink in. Although they both silently understood that Tess did, in fact, have an opportunity to derail Joe's plans when he put the gun down, Olivia placed no blame on the fifteen-year-old who was catatonic with fear. There was no guarantee that her hypothetical actions would have actually worked, anyway.

Tess eventually calmed, bit by bit, and eventually sat back in her chair. She looked over as if to say "Are you sure you don't blame me?", which was countered with an affirmative nod from the older woman. The guilt was dissipating, but it was certainly still there.

They sat like that – Olivia holding one of Tess's hands while they sat in close proximity – for many moments longer.

However, the sharp contrast of the white paper on the brown table shocked Olivia back into remembering her goals. She waited a few seconds until the time was right, and then carefully approached the subject. "Tess, there is something that I need from you."

Olivia reached out to pull the paper closer with her right hand, sliding it across the table with ambient shuffling noise.

Tess understood immediately, and her attitude changed instantly.

"I'm not changing it."

"Tess-"

The fear of testifying filled the impressionable child with irrational self-preservation. She was fiercely protective of her denial. "I'm not. I won't."

Olivia continued, pretending as if she was never interrupted. "Tess, if you don't come forward, there is a chance that Joe won't be convicted of a sex crime." Olivia paused briefly to let the news sink in. "He might not be convicted of rape."

Still, Tess only grasped the concept on a surface level. She felt as if Joe's imprisonment would be enough and didn't quite understand why Olivia was so hellbent on this when it didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. "He's going to jail anyway."

"Trust me on this, Tess. I've been doing this for a long time. You're going to want closure."

At this point, Tess was beginning to say anything to get out of testifying. Anything to get out of confirming her mother's suspicions. "I'll be fine."

It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the irony, so Olivia redirected and tried another Lindstrom comparison tactic. "Do you know what that just was? When that guilt, those awful feelings, left you when I told you that it wasn't your fault? That's closure. That's healing. Now, you're going to get that on a grander scale. You-"

"I said I'm fine. I'm going to be."

Olivia continued unfazed, this time with a little more emphasis. She only hoped her improvised metaphor would land. "I know a thing or two about living when a terrible chapter of your life is perpetually open. The author isn't writing, but you can't turn the page. You're stuck. For what seems like forever. And it is so hard, Tess, to move on. To find the energy to keep writing. To keep fighting to move forward."

The gravity of Olivia's words was beginning to register, and the possibility of coming forward flickered across her mind for only a second before the overwhelming number of downsides outweighed her short-sighted vision of the benefits. She looked down, almost ashamed to be denying what she knew to be Olivia's way of finding this oasis for herself. "I can get closure in other ways."

"I have no doubt. And the trial, the conviction, the sentencing... I'm not trying to deceive you. It won't magically end your pain, and it sure won't be easy. It'll still be a hard road to healing. But without this... healing takes longer. This chapter of your life will stay open. And you'll reread it every day when a man walks to close too you on the street. Every night when you postpone sleeping out of a secret fear of your horrifyingly vivid nightmares. Testifying won't magically solve that either, but you'll have the peace of mind knowing tha-"

Tess was sure that there was more to this speech, but she needed to cut Olivia off before things got to be too much. "You're trying to scare me." Her small body was suddenly filled with resolve. "And it's not going to work."

Secretly, though, it was working. Very much.

Olivia was filled with shame, even though that was never her intention. Maybe some part of her, deep down, was desperate to achieve her ends, but this certainly was never an option that she would consciously choose. "No, Tess, I wasn't-… I wasn't trying to scare you. I was talking about my own experiences." She slowed down her pacing to make eye contact with the teen. "I only described those things because you deserve so much more than that. So much more. I really wasn't trying to scare you, and I'm so sorry if it came out that way."

Tess reflected on the apology and eventually understood that Olivia's tactics were becoming more desperate as her chances of success got bleaker. Still, Tess had to deflect. She had to get away from this topic, these thoughts. It was becoming too much right now. "Not everybody is the same. And your lawyer guy was already in here. He explained everything to me." Tess tried to remember what he said, but it was a struggle. "He said that you guys could still trick him into confessing, and the red-head too. It would be a risk, he said, but I think it's worth a shot. It's better than this."

"Did Rafael say that it was a good gamble?" Rule one of lawyering was to never ask a question that you didn't know the answer to. Luckily, Olivia wouldn't have been that bad of a lawyer.

Tess was being backed into a corner, at least in terms of her argument's logical-ness. "No..."

"I know that it's a tempting risk, but is it one that you are willing to take?" Olivia sat down again, her shoulders slacking as her head fell into her hands and then rose again. "Please, understand what I'm saying. I'm trying to help yo-"

Tess spun to face Olivia and stomped over to her sitting counterpart. "Do you think I don't know what you're doing?" Her previous resigned sadness was converted into outrage, mostly out of a protective defense of her emotions and a sudden state of self-preservation. "If I testify, you don't have to. That's all this is about. You want closure. You want him to be charged with rape. You are the one that should come forward if you care so much."

That one hurt. A lot. But Olivia, who always rolled with the punches, decided to let it roll off her like water on a duck's back. She'd have to deal with it later, surely, but right now Olivia was able to regroup. Her voice betrayed her, though, as it cracked. As much as she'd like to pretend that it didn't sink in – she actually imagined a protective bubble as a therapy exercise against unwelcome criticism – each comment wore down her façade more than the last.

"Please..."

"I'm sixteen. My birthday was two days ago, and I spent my sweet sixteen wondering when the soreness between my legs would go away!" Her eyes met the window once more and her voice fell. "I'm only a teenager. I can't do this. I can't."

Olivia was filled with guilt. She knew that she didn't have the moral high-ground, but found peace in the fact that a large portion of her intentions were to help Tess regardless of her own interest. Even if Olivia wasn't involved in this case at all, this conversation would still likely be happening anyway. Half her job at SVU was giving victims the courage and support needed to come forward, get the kit, and testify. This mental reminder of her normal duties was somehow comforting and alleviated some of the suffocating guilt.

"I can help you. I want to help. You're right, part of this is about me. About my healing. But I don't put the needs of victims ahead of my own, and I only support my plan because I know that it'll help you too."

"Aren't you listening to me?" Tess felt the defensive words fall out from her lips like an uncontrollable waterfall. Still, her fragile denial of both the rape and the need to come forward took control. "I have help. I have a plan. It's not my fault that you don't."

Olivia's voice trembled and quivered, but she hadn't reached the limits of her no-begging policy quite yet. "I'm just trying to help."

Feeling guilty about her previous comment, especially as Olivia's voice broke, Tess tried to support her claims through a gentler elaboration. Her voice calmed down greatly, and the body posture of both women relaxed slightly. "My mom got me a therapist, and I'm going to join a support group for girls my age. I have all the healing support that I need right now, and testifying is only going to bring back memories that I'm trying to get over."

"I am so glad that you have a support system. I'm only trying to help." Olivia kept eye contact to punctuate her point. "You're in denial, and that's okay right now. I understand. But Tess-"

"I'm not just in denial..." Her cracked-manicure stood out on the black-and-white color scheme of the statement confirmation form, which she sloppily and haphazardly signed. "I'm done."