Mrs Benson's ache

As the next quidditch match was not even a month later, Wood increased the amount of training sessions to three times a week. Kate used this time without the twins to either study and practise for Dumbledore or to spend time with Alec and Kyle, often in the library. That evening, she was with the Hufflepuff boys. As Kyle left to go to the bathroom, Alec used this time with the young witch to talk with her.

- 'Could you teach me how to do magic without a wand?' he asked.

- 'I'm afraid I can't. Dumbledore was surprised that I could do it, he said that's really rare, especially with this kind of effect. Why would you like to do that?'

- 'Well, you know… I'm still thinking about what happened to my mother, how she could have protected herself, and me, if she had been able to do it. I don't want to be in a defenceless situation, like her.'

- 'With Muggles, or with wizards?'

- 'Both.'

- 'When was the last time you did magic without a wand?'

- 'I was seven I think,' Alec said, bowing his head.

- 'Well then, I'd rather advise you to keep your wand ready to grasp, and I would work on your reflexes, how fast you can act, cast a spell, … It would be in my opinion much easier to improve this so you can't be taken by surprise. I can help you with that if you want.'

- 'I guess it's better than nothing.'

- 'You have to be motivated, though. I will not make it easy. If you want to improve, it needs discipline and practice. And to keep my wand ready, I use this.'

Kate lifted her sleeve and showed how her wand was always resting nicely on her forearm. She wore a kind of leather armband on which the wand was fixed.

- 'See, I just need one finger to pull this, the wand falls in my hand immediately and I'm ready to fight. If you're scared of facing unexpected danger, that might be something to make you feel safer. I decided to use this after the troubles I had with Lopez, I had to keep my wand in my hand because it shoots spells by itself when it feels danger, so there was no other place that felt safe. In a pocket it could have burnt my robes, same with my bag.'

- 'I don't have money to buy something like that,' he said moodily.

- 'I can make a copy of mine, so you can try if it's something for you anyway. Do you want to practice or not?'

- 'Yeah, I want to. When?'

- 'We should do it at least twice a week, when do you have time?'

- 'Every evening. Is it possible to be just you and me?'

- 'Yeah, sure. Then maybe Tuesday and Thursday, Fred and George have quidditch. But you'll have to find something to tell Kyle, I guess.'

- 'I'll find something. I just don't want extra-pressure, or anyone asking questions why I want to practise so much… So, on Thursday?'

- 'After dinner, we'll go to the classroom where I brought you the day you received the letter.'

They changed conversation when Kyle came back. The three students quietly talked while finishing their homework, and shortly before the library closed, Kate asked Madam Pince to borrow a book from the restricted section. The librarian was always sceptical when such a young student was reading this kind of books, but she still had Dumbledore's note allowing the twelve years old to read any book from the restricted section. She only had to put a spell on it to make sure that no other student could read it. After this, Kate wished a nice evening to her friends and walked back to her Common Room, where hopefully Fred and George would soon arrive to spend some time with her before their Astronomy lesson.

On Thursday after dinner, Kate waited for Alec and they walked together to the classroom where she was allowed to practise. They started working, but something seemed to bother the young boy.

- 'Is everything all right with you? You don't seem focused on what we're doing.'

- 'I – I have something to ask you…'

- 'Then ask, I won't bite you.'

- 'Dumbledore came and asked to talk to me during our classes this afternoon. He said he had just been informed that my mother had been sent to St Mungo's Hospital. It seems like she's often passing out for no reason. He asked me if I'd like to go visiting her, all I could say is I don't know. I don't know if I should go, but if I do, I don't want to go alone. You're the only one who knows everything, if I decide to go, will you come with me?'

- 'Of course. What makes you doubt if you should go there?'

- 'I just… don't know. It feels weird to think about it.'

- 'You're angry at your mother, aren't you?' the boy nodded. 'And maybe a part of you thinks she deserves to have health problems now, while another part feels bad about these feelings you're experiencing?'

Alec was staring at her, eyes wide open.

- 'Are you reading my mind?' he whispered.

- 'No, not at all,' laughed Kate lightly. 'I just feel the energy coming from you and try to put into words the feelings I get. Do you know why you're mad at her exactly?' The boy shook his head. 'Maybe you think that, as your mother, she should have protected you? Or because you think as a witch she should have stood up for herself? Because you're scared to be like her some day, trapped in a horrible situation?'

- 'Maybe a bit of all of that. Maybe because I'm scared I'm just as weak as she is…'

- 'You're neither your mother nor your father, Alec. There is strength and determination in you. And I believe there is courage as well. You are scared of facing such hardships, so you want to improve your skills, you asked me to work together, and when I told you it will be hard, you didn't back off. You're not letting yourself be held back by your fears, it's bravery.' She paused a moment, looking at her friend. 'You know, I guess if your mum decided to let magic aside to marry your father, it's because she loved him. It's a difficult decision to give up magic. It's probably also a reason why she didn't run away, because before becoming violent, your father was a man she loved. She maybe thought the day he snapped her wand would be the only time he'd be violent, because he never was before, maybe she thought that was only the shock of the news. The more she stayed, the more difficult it was to leave, especially without a wand and with a young child when she had no money and nowhere to go.'

- 'I guess I know that, but I wish she would have left him when I was just a baby, it would have been so much easier for me.'

- 'You don't know that. Maybe your father would have found her back and killed both of you. Maybe she would have died because she didn't manage and you would have ended up in an orpha-nage where you would have had no friends because you're different – because of magic. Truth is, no one knows if it would have been better. You can keep being mad at the past, but this anger will slow you down on your path forwards. I'm extremely sad that I lost my twin sister, but I decided not to waste my time and energy being angry at my parents, instead focusing it all into becoming the best version of myself I could possibly be… This way, maybe I'll be able to fight the ideology that made this happen.'

- 'What ideology? What do you mean?'

Kate took a deed breath before answering.

- 'They're Death Eaters, my mother had a vision that one of their twins would fight Voldemort, so they decided to kill the kindest of us, my sister. Now that I'm gone, they know I will fight him, if they find me, they'll kill me. Anyway, I believe we shouldn't let our struggles rule over us. We face them with our emotions of course, but I don't think we should let them decide what we'll do of our life. I transformed my anger into determination and I tried to keep my pain under control. It's easier now than it was nearly four years ago.'

- 'So that's why you're not scared to say his name… Your parents used it.'

- 'No, they mostly call him the Dark Lord. There's no way I'd call him that, no way I'd say he's a Lord. He's just a horrible and powerful Dark wizard spreading a terrible ideology about blood sup-eriority, telling pure-blood wizards are the only ones really worthy and Muggle-born shouldn't be allowed magic. He's a half-blood. There are wonderful witches and wizards who are Muggle-born and terrible ones who are pure-blood. Also, I won't be scared of a name.'

- 'Do you think I'm weak if I stay angry at my mother?'

- 'No, of course not. I just fear you'll need much longer to move on with your own life if you keep holding onto this anger. It's all right to feel strong and negative emotions at times, they are there for a reason, we should acknowledge that they exist, let them a place to express themselves in a way too, it's no good to ignore them. But I think if we hold onto our fears or our anger, we'll struggle much more with our life than if we could let them go.'

- 'Maybe you're right. But how can we let go?'

- 'Remember the Art classes we took during the holidays, Dumbledore organised them to help me cope with my fears and my pain caused by Charlie's departure for Romania. That truly helped me to let these emotions express themselves.'

- 'That's a good idea, I guess I'll try that again. Now, I asked you to help me get better so I can defend myself, maybe we should start,' Alec said in a smile.

- 'All right then, you'll try Expelliarmus on me, I will use the summoning charm on you, I don't want to send you away with my spell like I did with Gray. Anyway, your goal is to be faster than me. I warn you, that won't be easy. Wand at the ready, at the count of three, we have to disarm each other.'

- 'All right,' he said, walking to the other side of the room. 'One – two – three! Expe –'

But his wand flew to Kate's hand.

- 'I told you that would be difficult,' she smiled. 'Here, try again,' she said, giving him back his wand.

- 'How did you manage so fast?'

- 'I trained a lot. In unexpected situations, being a seer and legilimens helps, but here it's really reflexes. We both know when it's time to cast. The fastest one has always the advantage.'

They took place again and kept practising. After half an hour, Alec started to show signs of frustration.

- 'We take a break now,' said Kate.

- 'No, we can keep going, come on.'

- 'Alec, you need a break. I want you to calm down and breathe deeply. Frustration won't help you get anywhere with this.'

She paused and looked at him. The boy sat down on a table, a bit grumpy. The witch went sitting beside him.

- 'The strength of a wizard is mainly in his mind, it has little to do with his age or anything else. Of course with time you learn more spells, but the real strength is there,' she said, showing her head. 'If you want to have a chance here, you have to let the spell fill you entirely. When we are counting, you should already see my wand flying away from me in your mind, nothing else, just the spell. It's the only thing that should matter at that very moment. When the three will come, your mind will be ready, the body will follow, you won't have to think about it any more because it's already there, ready to be expressed.'

- 'It sounds so easy when you say it…'

- 'I practised for a really long time to get where I am, and I'm coming here nearly every day to keep working. But it's a really good exercise to do each time you use a spell, to first let it fill you entirely. Just train your focus, every day, with every occasion that is given to you. With anything, like when you're eating, focus on what you're eating, feel how your jaws and your tongue are moving, feel the taste, the smell, experience it fully. The mind can be trained to get stronger, you know.'

Alec seemed to think carefully about what Kate just said. Both sat quietly for a few minutes, then he stood up.

- 'All right, let's try again,' he said.

They did this exercise over and over again, after twenty more minutes, Alec still hadn't won once. But this time, instead of letting frustration getting to him, he closed his eyes, he inhaled deeply, slowly breathed out, then whispered 'one – two –' he opened his eyes – 'three' and he cast the spell, Kate's wand flying away. She summoned it rapidly using wand-less magic, but she seemed really happy.

- 'Congratulations, Alec. That was awesome!'

- 'I won once since we're here, I don't think there's a need to celebrate,' he said quietly.

- 'Don't you realise what you just did?'

- 'What?'

- 'You cast your spell non-verbally!'

- 'What?'

- 'Seriously, you didn't say the spell! You know they teach non-verbal spell only when we're in sixth year, right?'

- 'You're kidding me, that's impossible.'

- 'I'm not kidding. You did. Seems I'm good at teaching how to cast spells non-verbally,' Kate laughed. 'I already helped Charlie with that.'

- 'Is that all you have to do for a non-verbal spell?'

- 'Basically, I think so. You need the wand move, and then your mind should be full of the intent of the spell, you should already visualise what will happen, feel what will happen. And it works. Except if you let plenty of other things in your mind, fears, homework you still have to do, … For me it's two steps: emptying my mind and then filling it with the intent of the spell.'

- 'You think I can try again?'

- 'Sure, but I'll get you a doll to train on, now. I won't let you get me twice,' she laughed, taking out her wand and conjuring a mannequin holding a wand. 'Here, have fun.'

The boy stood in front of it, and just the same, he closed his eyes, focused and cast silently, the wand flew away.

- 'That's awesome,' he cried, a broad smile on his face.

- 'That's what I told you,' she smiled. 'But we should stop for today and hurry back to our Common Rooms or we might get troubles with Filch. We just have a few minutes left before we're not supposed to be out any more.'

- 'Right,' he said. 'Kate, I'll go visiting my mother on Saturday, do you mind missing quidditch?'

- 'No, I don't need to see Ravenclaw – Slytherin. I'll join you. Come now, we have to hurry.'

They ran away from the classroom and parted at the marble staircase. Kate kept running, and she joined Fred and George who were on the way back.

- 'Where were you?' they asked.

- 'Practicing,' she said. 'How was your training session?'

- 'Okay, I guess,' said Fred moodily.

- 'Emma still doesn't want to be seeker, she doesn't even try to focus on the snitch,' George explained.

- 'It will be hard to win if the seeker doesn't seek,' finished Fred.

On Friday morning, Kate had to wait for Dumbledore before their lesson together. When he arrived, he asked her to sit down and stared at her for a moment without saying anything. The young witch was wondering if she had done something wrong.

- 'Am I in troubles, Professor?' she asked.

- 'No, no, Kate, not at all, I am only thinking.' He paused a moment. 'I noticed that you spent quite some time with Alec after dinner yesterday. May I know why?'

- 'I guess. He asked me on Tuesday to teach him wand-less magic. I said I couldn't, I asked why, he told me he's scared he would be one day in a situation like his mum, he doesn't want to be defenceless. So I proposed to help him improve his reflexes. Last night we worked on the disarming spell, he had to try to be faster than me.'

- 'Did it work?'

- 'At the end, he did disarm me.' The girl started smiling. 'He did it with a non-verbal spell.'

- 'A non-verbal spell? He's only eleven,' whispered the Headmaster.

- 'That's when I started to be able to use them as well. We talked a lot also, about his fears, his anger against his mother – he told me she's in St Mungo's Hospital –'

- Indeed, she is,' interrupted Dumbledore. 'The reason why I was late is because he came talking to me. He said he would go visiting her, but only if you can accompany him. First, I'd like to know if you really are willing to go there, second I am wondering why he only will go if you are there.'

- 'He asked me if I would join him if he decided to go visiting her, I said yes. It's only two hours later that he made his decision. As for the reason why… I'm not sure, to be honest.'

- 'Do you think he could be scared of his mother?'

- 'No, I rather think he's scared of his potential emotional response to her and he trusts me to not judge him and support him through this.'

- 'All right. We will leave after lunch on Saturday, I'm afraid you will miss the Quidditch game.'

- 'I don't mind. I like to watch when my friends are playing, but I don't have much interest in Ravenclaw – Slytherin.'

- 'Good. Should we get started, now?'

- 'Maybe I can show you something before,' she said.

The old man nodded, the girl stood up, and with her hands, she conjured a tornado in the middle of the office, she made it bigger, then smaller, made the winds turn faster, slower, made it move between all the objects. The headmaster stood up, adjusting his half-moon spectacles on his nose.

- 'This is truly remarkable,' he whispered.

- 'I feel like I could make it bigger,' Kate said, stopping her demonstration,' but I would have to try it outside. I keep practising wand-less magic, and after what you said about the elements, I thought I should try that.'

- 'Could you do something with fire as well?' asked Dumbledore.

Kate folded her sleeves up, removed her wand from its holder on her forearm and put it on the desk, then she turned to the middle of the office. She closed her eyes briefly, visualising what she wanted to do, focusing her energy towards that goal, then she opened them and with the tiniest movement of her hands, a huge wall of flames was created in the middle of the room.

- 'Wonderful,' he said. 'And with water?'

The girl smiled. She kept her right hand working on containing the fire, and with the left one, she created some big clouds above the fire from which a heavy rain started falling, slowly putting down the fire. Then she made the clouds leave through the window.

- 'It's maybe not what you meant with water, but I thought it was cute,' she said, blushing slightly.

- 'That was perfect,' he said with a smile. 'Maybe we should go out and make a practical lesson today.'

Kate agreed with enthusiasm and they both left for the practice fields. Dumbledore cast a charm to avoid students to see something from their classroom, and they started working together, both with and without wand for Kate. The headmaster made the girl work a lot with the elements, and to finish the lesson, he asked her to create the biggest tornado she could manage. The witch was greatly enjoying this, she put all her focus and strength in the swirling winds that were appearing in front of her, the tornado was getting bigger and bigger, towering over the quidditch pitch, it was getting higher, the winds were turning faster, then Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder.

- 'I think we should stop here, Kate, we don't need a real one,' he said with a smile.

She removed her strength from the swirl, and a pile of dust collapsed in the middle of the practice fields as the wind suddenly stopped. The headmaster told her to hurry to her Herbology class if she didn't want to be late, so she ran to the greenhouses. Her cheeks were pink from the cold February air and the excitement of this lesson outside. She arrived just as the class was about to start and joined her friends.

- 'You look in really good mood,' noticed Katie immediately.

- 'Yeah, we worked outside with Dumbledore, it was great!'

- 'What have you done?' asked Alec.

- 'A lot of magic with the elements, that's always better outside. It was really fun.'

- 'It sounds rather exhausting to me,' said Kyle.
- 'I love doing this,' Kate answered with a broad smile on her face.

Alec smiled back at her and they stopped talking while Professor Sprout was giving them the instruction for this lesson. They worked a moment quietly.

- 'How was transfiguration for you?' asked the twelve years old witch.

- 'Quite normal, except for Alec, he's getting so much better,' Katie said.

- 'I don't know what you have done with him last night, but it's working,' commented Kyle.

- 'Oh, so you told him you were working with me.'

- 'Yeah, I thought it was better to tell him. It's just difficult for me when others are there and watch me work,' Alec said, blushing slightly.

- 'That's all right, I just didn't know if I could say something or not, so when I came back at the same time as Fred and George last night, I just said I was practicing when they asked where I was coming from.'

- 'You can tell them you work with me.'

- 'But if you're improving so much already, maybe once a week is enough, so I can have time to brew potions for Charlie, work for Dumbledore and all my classes, and practise.'

- 'Maybe you're right and once a week is enough. I also have all my homework to do.'

- 'I'm doing mine during lunch and dinner,' laughed Kate. 'That's for all the extras that I need time. Would Tuesdays be okay for you?'

- 'Sure, that's perfect.'

Professor Sprout approached the group.

- 'Would you mind talking less and work more?'

During breakfast on Saturday, Kate informed her friends that she wouldn't be going to watch the Quidditch match, saying she had to go out of school with Dumbledore. That was partly true of course, but she had the feeling she should not tell about Alec's mother. Then they went to their practice classroom, the boys kept working on their disillusionment spell while Kate was brewing potions. She now had several cauldrons, as some of these potions needed a week to be done and she needed a cauldron for her class.

That Saturday, she continued the potion she started in the afternoon the day before and started a second one that would be done before midday. The boys worked for a time, then decided to try going to the Forbidden Forest on Sunday afternoon. Kate said she would not join them this time, as she had a lot of work to do and was already not having time that afternoon. When Fred argued that they might be in danger, she answered that the forest was more safe in day light, as most dangerous creatures were roaming at night, they should be fine without her. They boys left early, though, as the quidditch game was starting at eleven. Kate wished them to have fun, she finished her potion then left for the Great Hall for lunch.

The room was nearly empty, Alec was there, and only one student was at the Slytherin table. It was Thor Cromwell. Kate walked straight to him.

- 'Why aren't you at the Quidditch game?' she asked him.

- 'Maybe you noticed I don't really get along with the other students of my House,' Thor answered calmly. 'The main reason is because I don't agree with this stupid blood supremacy idea that most of them share, actively or not. I won't go down there to support that kind of people, I also don't want to make them dislike me even more by supporting the opposite team. So I stay away from the pitch.'

- 'Do they talk that much about it?'

He looked at her, surprised by Kate's casual reaction.

- 'Why doesn't it seem to surprise you?' he asked.

- 'Long story,' she smiled. 'Maybe I'll tell you about it one day. I thought at school, and especially as Voldemort is not there any more, they would keep it quiet.'

- 'How can you speak his name?' he cried, before adding a bit more quietly 'well, they're not quiet about it. At least some of them are really vocal. I hate that, it makes me sick. They keep saying he will come back.'

- 'He will,' Kate said casually. Then seeing the look on Thor's face, she added 'I'm a seer, I had a vision about it. And as why I say his name, I just don't want to be scared of a name. Anyway, I'm sorry you have to endure this. How come you are so much against these ideas that seem so common among your House?'

- 'Well –' he stared at Kate for a few seconds, then he started talking again through clenched teeth – 'I'm a half-blood. I'm raised by my grand-parents, because… my parents were killed before You-Know-Who's downfall, my father was a pure-blood, my mother was Muggle-born. A group of Death-Eaters came, they said my mother should not be allowed magic because her parents were Muggles, they wanted to kill her, both my parents tried to defend themselves, but they were too many of them, the Death Eaters killed them. I was only a baby, my grand-ma said that when she saw the Dark Mark above their house, they rushed there with my grand-pa, they discovered the dead bodies of my parents. I was sleeping upstairs, I didn't notice anything. I won't stand for an ideology that killed both my parents!'

Kate didn't know what to answer, she spontaneously hugged Thor tightly. They never really talked with one another, they were only working in Potions together, yet it was the only thing Kate thought of doing after he told her his story. He was surprised by the move, but after a moment of hesitation, he answered to this hug. Kate released her grip after a few long seconds.

- 'Maybe you should try to have friends in other Houses. Don't stay alone for eating, I'm going to sit with Alec,' she said, showing the Hufflepuff table.

The black boy stood up and followed Kate with his plate.

- 'Can we sit with you, Alec?' Kate asked.

He looked strangely at the Slytherin student in front of him.

- 'Yeah, sure,' he said ultimately.

- 'I don't know if you already know each other, Alec, this is Thor, we're working together in Potions; Thor, this is Alec, we're mostly working together in Herbology.' Kate saw an interrogative look on Alec's face. 'Thor is a decent one, don't worry.'

- 'See, that's why I don't have friends in other Houses. They all look at us as if we were contagious. I can understand though.'

- 'No, it's just… surprising, let's say,' said Alec. 'I'm used to Slytherins being bullies, having fun of me or my friends, … But I also know that Kate is an amazing person, if she invites you over, that should mean you're not that kind of person.'

Thor smiled and whispered 'thanks' as Kate was filling her plate.

- 'That's actually the first time we really talk,' she said. 'But he tried to help me when Lopez was picking on me all the time. I know that most Slytherins don't like me, I don't want to bring Thor troubles in his House. Today they're all at the Quidditch match, so it's fine. I really enjoy working with him in Potions, he's really smart, and now I understand why he's so different.'

- 'Thanks, Kate. I really enjoy working with you too, it's much more enjoyable than with Lopez. Do you know what you'd like to be later?'

- 'Happy,' whispered Alec.

- 'I meant as a job,' said Thor with a soft laugh. 'But that's a nice goal to reach as well.'

- 'I don't know yet,' said Kate. 'I guess I could be anything, I just don't know what I would prefer. And you?'

- 'I want to be an Auror. I think it's the best way to fight Dark Wizards,' Thor said with confidence.

Alec's eyes opened wide. That made Thor laugh again.

- 'I know it sounds weird coming from someone in Slytherin, but I have my reasons.'

- 'It's surprising, indeed, 'smiled Alec. 'I really don't know what I'd like to be, yet. I still have some time to think about it.'

- 'Yes, we have time,' said Kate. 'I want to achieve best grades in everything so I can choose what suits me best. I could be a healer, a professor – people say I'm good at teaching –'

- 'You definitely are!' said Alec at once.

- '– I could be an Auror as well, I'm not really found of Dark wizards either. Really, as long as I have top grades everywhere, I can decide when the time will come.'

- 'Sounds like a good plan,' said Thor quietly. 'Do you have plans for after lunch?'

- 'Well, yes,' answered Alec, slightly embarrassed. 'We're going with Dumbledore to visit my mother at St Mungo's.'

- 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is it bad?'

- 'They don't know yet. She keeps passing out without reason.'

- 'I hope they'll find out what the problem is and be able to help her. Will your father be there?'

- 'I don't have a father any more,' mumbled Alec.

- 'Is he dead? I'm sorry, I –'

- 'No, no, he's not. It's complicated,' Alec said, Kate looking at him, really interested in what he would say. 'Just – he was violent, he was beating me and my mum really often, now that she finally left him, he's out of my life for good! I won't let him damage me more,' he said, throwing a stare at Kate who was still kindly smiling at him. 'And now you know more than my best friend about my family, I don't know why I told you that.'

- 'I don't know either, but I'm honoured that you did. I live with my grand-parents, my parents were killed by Death Eaters during You-Know-Who's time, that might help you understand why I don't really get along with the other students in my House.'

- 'That makes sense,' smiled Alec kindly, feeling a bit more confident now.

They kept talking while eating, until Dumbledore came to them.

- 'Alec, Kate, we should go, now,' he said calmly.

- 'Have a nice afternoon, Thor. It was nice talking to you,' said Kate.

- 'Yeah, it was nice getting to know you,' smiled Alec while standing up.

- 'I'm glad you asked me to join you, Kate. I had the nicest lunchtime since I arrived here.'

They walked away, Kate and Alec waving at Thor. Dumbledore led both students to his office. Kate changed her appearance on the way.

- 'We'll travel using the Floo network. Did you ever use it?'

Neither Kate nor Alec ever did.

- 'This is easy. You take some Floo powder here, you throw it in the fire, when the flames turn green, you step inside and speak your destination, in this case, St Mungo's Hospital. Keep calm during the trip, elbows tucked in and eyes closed, that is more comfortable. Exit the fire as soon as you arrive, to avoid collision with the next one coming.'

They looked at each other, as Alec seemed a bit hesitant, Kate stepped forwards. She took a handful of powder, but before throwing it, she looked at Dumbledore.

- 'I thought there was no fireplace permitting to travel via Floo network in Hogwarts,' she said.

- 'I'm the headmaster,' he winked. 'If I permit it, it is possible.'

The young witch did as Dumbledore explained, she threw the powder, stepped inside the fire and gave her destination. It felt as she was sucked in a giant hose, it was really loud, deafening, as if she was moving fast in the middle of a storm. When she slowed down, she opened her eyes, saw different fireplaces, and she stepped out when she saw healers walking around. She walked out of the fireplace and stepped aside to wait for Alec. He arrived a few moments later, followed nearly immediately by Dumbledore. The headmaster asked them to wait there for him, he went asking where they could see Alec's mother.

- 'Follow me, please,' he said when he came back.

They walked to the fourth floor, Kate noticed it was the ward for long-term patient.

- 'They still don't know what is the problem, but they recognise there is a problem, so they moved her here,' explained Dumbledore.

They stopped in front of the door. Kate looked at the Headmaster, asking him mentally if he had confunded Alec's mother to believe that she was a blond young witch, he nodded.

- 'Should we go?' asked Dumbledore.

Alec grabbed Kate's hand, she pressed his hand encouragingly and smiled at him. He took a deep breath.

- 'Let's go!' Alec said.

They entered the room. Dumbledore led them to a bed at the end of the ward, close to the window. The nearer they were getting, the stronger Alec was holding Kate's hand, it was nearly painful for the young witch. She pulled his hand slightly, just enough so he'd notice and look at her, and she made him an encouraging sign. He answered to it and they passed the curtain separating Mrs Benson's bed from the next one. She was laying in her bed, her eyes closed.

- 'Mrs Benson, I hope we do not disturb you, we thought that you might be happy to see your son,' said Dumbledore quietly.

The woman opened her eyes when she heard her son was there and a big smile appeared on her face.

- 'Oh, Alec, I'm so happy to see you,' she said, straightening herself in the bed. 'Come give me a hug, please.'

The boy had a second of hesitation, but he eventually let Kate's hand go and walked to his mother. She had tears in her eyes.

- 'I'm letting you some time together, I will come back in an hour to bring them back to school,' Dumbledore said before walking away.

The woman released her grip on her son, he stepped back.

- 'Let me look at you… I couldn't do it last time we met. You look great, my son, stronger. School is doing you good.'

- 'It's not school, mum… It's Kate.'

- 'Did you change – I mean – your letter before Christmas…'

- 'What? No! But I talked to her about it during the holidays, and she was awesome. It's also her who helped me coping with the letter you sent me telling I shouldn't come back home. She just takes me as I am, without judging, she's always ready to listen and to help if she can. She also man-ages to make me talk about what I feel, and you should know it's not easy for me, I never really could say anything at home when that man was there.'

- 'That man is your father.'

- 'No, he's not,' he answered angrily. 'He could've been if he had wanted to, but a father shouldn't beat up his family, he shouldn't try to break down or kill his child. A father should encourage, support his child to be who they are, who they want to be. I was no allowed to have feelings at home, now I have a friend who can feel them and encourages me to express them. It's not easy, but she's there for me and I think with her support I'll get better.'

- 'I think I should thank you, then,' said Mrs Benson turning to Kate. 'Thank you for being there for my son – more than I ever was,' she added in a whisper.

- 'I'm just trying to be a good friend,' Kate answered. 'I don't want to be thanked for that.'

The woman nodded.

- 'Listen Alec... I want to apologise to you. I'm sorry I wasn't the mother you deserved, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you as you should have been protected, I'm sorry I didn't find the strength to leave years before –'

- 'Mum, stop!' interrupted the boy. 'Listen, that's true, I was really mad at you, I wasn't even sure I wanted to come today, and to be honest, I was afraid of how I'd react when I'd see you, that's why I asked Kate to come with me. But we talked together on Thursday evening, after Dumbledore told me you were here. I said I wished you would have left him when I was a baby, that it would have been easier for me. But she pointed out that we don't know that. Wand-less, with a baby, without money and with no one to help you, maybe we would have lived on the streets, maybe he would have found us back and killed us both, maybe you would have died and I would have gone to an orphanage, the truth is, all we know is what happened. The rest is just hypothesis. Maybe it would have been better, maybe it would have been worse. We'll never know. There's no point being angry for hypothesis.'

- 'You're friend seems really wise,' Mrs Benson said with a little smile.

- 'I went through my own share of struggles, I had to learn to cope with them,' said Kate calmly.

- 'Listen, mum. You can't ask me right now for a really close mother-son relationship, because we never really had one. I need to get to know you and learn to trust you first. So I hope you'll get better and maybe during the holidays we can spend some time together.'

- 'I'd love that,' whispered Mrs Benson. 'How is everything going at school, tell me… Do you have friends? Are you a good student?'

- 'Well, in my House, I'm really good friend with Kyle. But they're all quite nice there. And then I have Kate, and her friends are really nice with me too. We spent a lot of time together during the Christmas holidays. And I'd say I'm an average student, but Kate is also helping me out there.'

- 'You're not in the same House?'

- 'No, I'm in Gryffindor, so are my closest friends.'

- 'How is she helping you out?'

- 'We started working together on Thursday evening, because…' the boy seemed unsure if he had to explain everything, but decided to go for it anyway. 'I was scared I'd be in a situation like you one day, and I didn't want to be defenceless. As Kate is the best student in our school year – in some classes probably the best in the whole school – I asked her if she could help me.'

- 'The best in the whole school? But you're in first year!' wondered Mrs Benson, staring at Kate.

- 'I was homeschooled before arriving, my parents taught me only Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. I'll pass my O.W.L.s this year and next year my N.E.W.T.s in these classes.'

- 'Anyway,' continued Alec, 'she agreed to help me. On Thursday it was our first time, and it's like she's unlocking abilities in my mind. After a few hours of work, I finally managed to be faster than her and disarm her, and I did so casting the spell non-verbally. Can you imagine that? I didn't even realise it. It's so unbelievable.'

- 'Non-verbally?' cried the mother. 'You're only eleven! They won't teach you that before years!'

- 'I know! That's why I was so surprised. It came spontaneously after she explained me how I could do to be faster than her. I don't think I'll manage like her any spell non-verbally before many years, but the techniques she gave me to focus already helped me yesterday in Transfiguration and Charms.'

- 'Non-verbally,' whispered Mrs Benson again. 'But then you're not an average student!'

- 'I'll soon not be any more, I reckon, if we keep working together. But Kate has a lot of work to do, for her exams – she follows already two elective classes – and she's brewing healing potions for a friend who works with Dragons.'

- 'You're brewing healing potions for – how old are you? How come you're only in first year?'

- 'I'm twelve, I'll turn thirteen in April. I arrived in Great Britain only last summer. My father, who was teaching me, died, and my mother couldn't take over, so she sent me to Hogwarts.'

- 'You're in first year, and you're brewing healing potions for a friend?'

- 'Yes, I love potions. It's something I discovered at school and I really enjoy it. I always learned fast, but it's even faster when I love what I'm learning. And I also love this friend very much, I want to help him, so I brew potions for him.'

- 'I'm telling you, mum, I guess she's one of the best students in the whole school. And she's a wonderful friend for me. Without her, I don't think I would have gotten over your letter. I couldn't talk or do anything that day. But Kate took time for me. She found out that the letter was probably coming from you, so I showed her. She encouraged me to talk to Professor Sprout, and she and Professor Dumbledore decided to help. Kate is helping me trying to gain confidence, to believe that I'm not worthless, that I'm good as I am. All what that man methodically destroyed in me over the years.'

- 'It's all I should have done,' whispered Mrs Benson, who was crying now. 'I'm sorry Alec, I should have seen it, I should have help you strive, but all I did was show you how to back off, how to hide who you are to avoid confrontation. I'm sorry I was a terrible mother.'

- 'It's over now, mum,' Alec said softly. 'I see that it was really difficult for you as well, you did what you could regarding the circumstances. You tried what you thought was best. I'm not mad at you any more.'

The mother was still crying, Alec didn't know what more he could do, standing at the feet of her bed. Kate hesitated for a moment, then she walked to Mrs Benson and took her in her arms. The woman turned and held the girl strongly, crying harder. The young witch stroked the woman's hair, making calming movements like a mother would do to calm a distressed child. Alec stepped closer, on the other side of the bed, he seemed unsure but decided to put a hand on his mother's shoulder.

- 'What's up?' he asked Kate in a whisper.

- 'I guess it's all what she's holding back for years that is finally going out,' answered Kate just as quietly.

After some long minutes, Mrs Benson calmed down, she released her grip around Kate and sat straight in her bed again, drying her tears. Then she made a sign to the children to make them sit on her bed, each on a side of her legs.

- 'I'm sorry,' she said.

- 'How are you doing? Did they find out what you have? Professor Dumbledore told me you're passing out regularly and no one knows why,' asked Alec, trying to change subjects.

- 'They don't know yet. They don't want to let me go as long as it happens, that's why they moved me here.'

- 'When does this happen?' he asked.

- 'Any time, really. It can be when I'm going to the bathroom, in the stairs, at work. It's really bad when I'm carrying a tray of full butterbeer, I don't see how Madam Rosmerta will keep me if this keeps happening.'

- 'Is there anything you do that is similar to each situation? A movement maybe?' asked Kate.

- 'No, not really. It's happening in so many different situations…'

- 'A thought?' asked the young witch.

Mrs Benson's face became colder, paler, but she didn't answer. Kate stared at her, she couldn't force her to talk, but she felt like she had struck a nerve. Then the girl was dragged in Mrs Benson's mind, she saw her husband, it was alternating really fast, memories of a loving man, the moment after screaming at her, caring, then beating, then it was all black, Kate was sent back to herself, the woman had passed out.

- 'I'm calling someone,' Alec said, already running out of the room.

He came back a minute later with a healer. That man poured some potion in her mouth, and Alec's mum came back to consciousness, slowly. He checked if she was doing okay, asked what happened and seemed perplex when she said she was only talking. He left the room, and Kate followed him.

- 'Excuse me, can I talk with you for a moment?' asked the young witch when she was out of the room.

He looked at her, perplexed.

- 'You're not a family member, are you?'

- 'No, I'm a friend of her son. But… She just said you don't know why she's passing out like this, I think I found out.'

- 'You're a child, how could you know what experienced healers don't?' he said, visibly upset.

- 'That's not what I meant. I asked her if there was anything similar each time she was passing out, movement, or thoughts. And her facial expression changed completely. She didn't answer, but – well, I'm a legilimens, I was dragged in her mind, I saw – is there a more private place to talk?' she said as visitors were walking by in the corridor. Professor Dumbledore was coming back and joined them.

- 'Is everything all right, Kate?' he asked.

- 'Your student pretends to know my job better than me, maybe you should bring her back to school and teach her respect.'

- 'It's not what I said. Mrs Benson passed out again, but I saw what happened in her mind right before. I believe this might help them find something to solve the problem.'

- 'And I don't think a child has anything to say here.'

- 'Kate is an extremely gifted legilimens, she managed to enter the mind of the most skilled occlumens I know. Maybe you could listen to what she saw in Mrs Benson's mind. You will then see if this might be relevant or not,' said Dumbledore calmly.

The healer sighed, it was difficult to argue with a wizard like Dumbledore, especially against some logical arguments.

- 'All right, follow me, then,' he said, leading Kate and Dumbledore to an office. 'Tell me,' he said right after closing the door.

- 'I don't know if she told you about her past in the last years. But it's linked to that. Just before passing out, she saw in her mind a succession of images with her husband. It was alternating bet-ween really good and horrible, a picture of a loving moment, then another one where he's shouting at her, one where he's caring, then one where he's beating her up, constant change between the best and the worst. Then it was all black, she had passed out.'

- 'She didn't say anything about a husband,' the healer said, perplex.

- 'You can consider he died,' said Dumbledore. 'He's a Muggle and has no memory of having been married or having a child. For the sake of both of them.'

- 'I don't know if you can help her with that, but I think it's not her body, it's her soul that is suffering and causes the problem,' said Kate calmly.

- 'Maybe you're right. I'll tell my colleagues and we will try to see if we can help on this level then. Thank you for insisting, it might indeed be helpful,' said the healer.

Kate nodded and turned around, she opened the door, wished the man to have a good afternoon and walked away, Dumbledore beside her.

- 'Will you tell Alec what you saw?' he asked.

- 'I don't know if I should,' she said honestly. 'He'll ask me why I followed the healer, I think it could be good for him to know, to understand her better, but I don't know how he'll take it.'

- 'You will make the right choice, Kate. Let your instinct decide, it won't let you down,' he said with a smile, then they entered the ward again.

- 'Where were you gone?' asked Alec as soon as he saw Kate.

- 'I had questions for a healer, what is requested to be one and stuff like that, that's why I followed him,' she answered as casually as possible.

She hoped that even if he knew she was lying, he understood that she didn't want to talk about it in front of his mother.

- 'It is time to go back to school, now. I hope you were happy to see your son, Mrs Benson,' said Dumbledore.

- 'Oh yes, it's good to see how well he is doing, and that he has such a good friend who's taking care of him and helping him.

Alec hugged his mum briefly.

- 'Good bye, mum. Take care.'

- 'You too, Alec, take good care of you.'

- 'Good bye, Mrs Benson,' said Kate, waving at the woman. 'I hope you'll get better soon.'

- 'Thank you, Kate,' answered the woman, waving back at her with a little smile.

- 'Goodbye,' said Dumbledore.

Then he showed the way out to the students.

- 'What was it really about?' Alec asked as soon as they were out of the ward.

- 'Not here, I don't want random people to hear about it,' she answered quietly.

Dumbledore led them back to the fireplace, took a bag of Floo powder from his pocket and gave some to Kate and Alec. 'I think Professor Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts should make it to go back,' he said with a smile. Kate started again, she jumped out of the fireplace as soon as she arrived, turned back to herself and removed the ashes from her clothes while waiting for her friend to arrive. When he arrived, he stepped out and stared at the girl silently.

- 'I saw what was in her mind before she passed out. I think this is the reason why she's passing out, and I thought it was important for the healer to know.'

- 'You went in her mind?'

- 'I was dragged inside, I didn't choose to go. The way she reacted when I asked if she had similar thoughts before it happened, I knew it was linked, though. But I wasn't expecting it to happen.'

Professor Dumbledore arrived, the first year ignored him.

- 'Do you think I should know?'

- 'Maybe. Do you want to know?'

- 'Maybe,' he said, looking down.

- 'I'll tell you without the details, then, it might be easier for you to understand if you know. It's was a succession of good and bad moments between her and your father, alternating between positive and negative, really fast, the good went each time better and the bad went each time worse. I guess she passed out at her worst memory.'

- 'But – how can it – it's not –'

- 'I think it's her soul that is hurt, and when it's too much to bear, it just shuts down everything. I thought I should tell that to the healer, because if they keep looking for a physical ailment, they probably will never find a way to help her.'

- 'So – even now, he's still hurting her,' said Alec angrily.

- 'I don't know if we ever truly heal from the people we love,' whispered Kate.

An instinct made her look at her headmaster as she said this last sentence, and she saw how he seemed briefly taken aback. It lasted not even a second, but she noticed. She herself thought of her twin, of course, but she also had Charlie, Fred and George in mind. These three brothers meant the world to her. She also thought of Snape with that read-haired woman she saw in his mind the day she managed to enter it for the first time.

Alec was staring blankly, nodding, as if he was pondering the words that were spoken. Even though Kate said them in a whisper, they were resonating in everyone. It's Dumbledore who broke the silence.

- 'Unless you want to talk with me about something, I would propose you to join your friends now, the game just finished,' he said as cheers came through the window.

- 'Thank you, Professor,' said Alec, who grabbed Kate's arm and pulled her on the way.

They left the office and stopped beside the gargoyle as the door was closing.

- 'Thank you for telling me the truth, Kate.'

- 'I was a bit scared of how you would react, but I also thought you should know, so…'

- 'I'm happy you came with me. I don't know what I would have done alone with her when she started crying. It seemed so obvious for you.'

- 'I don't know if it was obvious, it just felt like she needed someone to take her in their arms, make her feel like it's all right to let the emotions out, it's safe. I tried to do that. I'm not sure that was something you should have done, though. You're her son. I think she would have fought with herself to stop crying if it had been you, because she should be the one comforting you, not the opposite.'

- 'Maybe. Anyway, thank you.'

- 'I wanted to ask you… You said during lunch that Thor knew now more than your best friend. Don't you think you should tell Kyle a bit more? Maybe not everything, but kind of what you told Thor today. It's just a question, though, I don't want to force you to do anything.'

- 'No, don't worry. I thought about it while telling this to Thor. I was surprised it came out so easily, and I thought, if I can say it to someone with whom I'm talking for the first time, I should be able to tell it to my best friend. Would it be okay for you if we try to find him now?'

- 'Sure, let's go.'

- 'I always wonder how you never ask why I want you to be with me each time. Maybe you're too polite to ask, or you feel it. Truth is, I simply feel like nothing bad can happen if you're there, or better, that whatever happen, you'll help me find a solution. Nothing feels that bad if you're with me.'

- 'I hope one day you'll trust yourself for finding the solution. Even if the solution is to ask some-one for help, but that you will find the confidence for it inside of you. If I can help while you're building up your confidence, I'll do,' she said, patting his back.

As they arrived in the Entrance Hall, most students were coming back from the quidditch pitch. Some were happy, others rather grim looking, but most of them talking loudly. They spotted a group of Hufflepuff with whom Kyle was. 'KYLE,' screamed Alec. The black haired boy turned his head to where the scream came from.

- 'Can I talk to you for a moment?' he asked.

Kyle joined Kate and Alec, who waited for most people to leave the Hall.

- 'It's quite private, maybe we should go outside now that most people are gone?' he proposed.

They left the castle and went beside the greenhouses. To be sure that the conversation stayed secret, Kate used the Muffliato spell.

- 'All right. I think I should tell you about what happened in the last weeks. Or maybe I should tell you everything. You're supposed to be my best friend after all.' Alec inhaled deeply before continuing.

'The only reason why I talked to Kate first is because she nearly found out by herself during the Christmas Holidays. I think I prefer boys. I had troubles getting along with her because I was jealous of the attention some guys would give her, because I wanted this attention. And the reason I stayed here over the holidays is because I wrote my mother about it, and she told her husband, who is a horrible person. He said I shouldn't come back home before sorting this out… And the day I was so in shock after the letter I received, it's because my mum informed me that it wasn't safe for me to come back home, that he said he would kill me rather than… Well, anyway.

'When I was alone with Kate, as she guessed the letter was from my parents, I showed her. And she managed to help me. She made me talk to Professor Sprout who led us to Dumbledore. That afternoon, he brought us to my parents to gather my belongings. That man tried to beat me up but Kate saved me – he didn't let the professors inside – then Dumbledore proposed my mum to leave as well. You should have seen her, half of her face swollen and blue… She agreed, I think Dumbledore changed that man's memories so he doesn't remember anything about us, so we are safe from him.

'That's why you saw me packing much stuff in my trunk that day when you arrived. Dumbledore installed my mum in Hogsmeade and helped her find a job. But then she started passing out without reason, in the end they sent her to St Mungo's, that's where we went this afternoon. I think that's the whole story.'

- 'Why didn't you tell my anything about this before? Don't you trust me?' asked Kyle, a bit upset.

- 'I didn't trust anyone. Kate nearly found out everything, I mainly had to admit what it was. I grew up with Muggles, my "father" was one, and one of the worst. He was hitting us for any reason, som-etimes just making some up. And he always was really vocal about people who don't love like most. He said to my mum it would be a disgrace to have a faggot as a son, that's a very offensive way to call men who love other men. I'm only learning to trust people now, and this is a matter with which I don't trust many. It's not something well accepted among Muggles, and I have no clue how it is here.'

- 'I think no one really cares, love is love. It's something good. What do you think, Kate?'

- 'I grew up mainly with Muggles and my parents, but I really don't care who people love. And I think it's the same for most here. I guess even in Slytherin, they're too busy hating Muggle-born.'

- 'Maybe you're right,' laughed Kyle.

- 'Are you angry at me for not telling you before?'

- 'No, maybe a bit sad that you didn't trust me, but I guess I can understand why. Where does your mother live now?'

- 'She has a room at the Hog's Head. The idea is, if she gets a job, she can save money to afford a real place to live for both of us. But as long as she's in St Mungo's… If it needs longer, I really don't know where I'll spend the summer holidays,' explained Alec.

- 'I could ask my parents. We have a pretty big house, if that's not working with your mum. I won't let you sleep outside, you know,' said Kyle enthusiastically.

- 'Seriously? You'd do that?'

- 'Yeah, sure. My father has a really good job at the Ministry, we have a big house that feels so empty of people… They wanted to have many children. They got me ten year after getting married, and two years ago, they finally got my baby sister. I'm not sure they'll keep trying, though, imagine if it needs another nine years for them to have a third child, I'd be eighteen already!'

- 'That would be a huge gap, indeed,' smiled Alec. 'Can I ask you not to tell anyone about it at school? I'm not ready for everybody to know about me.'

- 'Sure, you can. But I'm pretty hungry right now, dinner is not before two hours, is it okay if we go to the kitchen seeing if they have something to eat ready?'

- 'Yeah, of course.'

- 'I'll go join Fred and George, then,' said Kate.

- 'Sure,' said Alec. 'Thank you for everything, Kate. I'm really glad I know you.'

He hugged the young witch, she removed the Muffliato spell and they went back in the castle.