17. Ode to Strangers

Rating: T

Verse: Modern!AU. This is actually a prequel to prompt number 10 - Dirty.

Warning: Sasuke doesn't come of very positive in this one... Sorry.

Idea/Inspiration: me

She didn't know for how long already he had been taking the same bus as she did. During the first weeks on the university she was too absorbed with the novelty of the entire situation to pay attention to her surroundings. All that designing of your own lessons' plans, subscribing on the additional courses, getting the books - all that stuff she had to take care of herself. It was different than the high school. Everyone suddenly treated her as an adult. Which she, at nineteen, definitely was already. But until now she was never treated as one.

On top of that, after their gang left high school Sakura made a goal out of keeping the group together. She loved her friends, she really did. But also she had an inferior, more egoistic motive as well. She knew that if the group held together, she would have a platform for interactions with Sasuke. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't let him drift away from her.

Such a huge amount of emotional effort went into all that. And there were so many novelties to process. Her mind must have been cutting off the stimuli wherever it could. Because it took her until the spring, when she was well into the university routine, to notice the black-haired man that was boarding the bus two stops after her.

He was always there. Everyday, in the 07:18 bus. He would always take the same seat, the one by the window, one seat ahead of her, on the opposite side of the aisle. It made her somehow warm inside to see another person also having 'his' place, just like her.

From how they were sitting, she could see his reflection in the glass. It was actually his face that first drew her attention. Because he looked so damn similar to Sasuke.

Hidden in the privacy of looking at the reflection and not at the real face, Sakura couldn't stop staring. Oh, how she longed to be able to look at Sasuke this way. Without self-control and self-consciousness, without the worry that she would irritate him, without fear that he would call her out for stalking him and tell her to scram. How she wanted to be able to study his face, the shape of eyes, the curve of lips, all the micro-expressions in the minute detail. As she studied them in that black-haired man. And the man had them, even though he seemed very stoic. A small furrow of a brow at irritation about the traffic. A trace of serenity at the sensation of sunlight on his face.

And she had to admit it – she really, really liked his hair. Sakura generally thought that man with long hair looked masculine, and this one was only confirming her opinion. His hair was a statement.

He became so familiar that Sakura had to catch herself each time not to nod to him a greeting when he would board the bus.

That day was supposed to be a good day. Given, there was a colloquium on the anatomy course, but Sakura felt very well prepared. All the previous colloquia turned out completely problem-free for her, so taught by experience she was actually looking forward to it. Once she wrote it, she would be free from that set of notes – they were starting to really bore her by now.

Additionally, the weather was just splendid – warm spring with trees in full bloom, and, most importantly, she had a date with Sasuke today! She chose that skirt she bought last summer on the season-ending discount and never had a chance to wear.

All smiles and warm fuzzy content Sakura rode the bus tapping her foot to the upbeat music playing in her headphones.

That was going to be such a good day, she thought. She finally managed to contrive a one-on-one meeting with Sasuke. She told him she had tickets for the movie she knew he really, really wanted to see. And he agreed. Sakura didn't even remember when was the last time they did something together. On the New Year's Eve they danced together and kissed by the fireworks. Then he walked her to the bus after Tenten's house-warming party (she refused to acknowledge that he was anyhow going the same direction).

Their "dating" was limited to Sakura showing up in front of his department building at the end of his courses and walking with him to the bus stop. She considered that a heck of an achievement that a) she figured out his lecture plan on her own and b) she managed to keep him un-annoyed enough that he hadn't chased her away yet. She was even brave enough to grab his hand from time to time and he wasn't pushing her away. That gave her so much hope. On the weekend they would meet in a larger circle, and Sakura cherished those occasions because she could sit next to him, catch some body-contact in those crowded banks of the pubs.

The bus neared the university quarter, her stop would be the next. Sakura stood up. She was heading towards the doors when she heard a signal of an incoming message.

Sasuke.

Sakura's heart made a tiny, joyful bounce.

Not coming for the movies today said the message.

The punch in the gut was as familiar as was the well-trained reaction to stay calm and keep a pleasant smile on her face. Even if Sasuke couldn't see it. He hated when she was being emotional and Sakura never forgot what he once told her: 'Don't behave as if you had rights to me.'

No, she didn't have any rights. She knew it too well.

Sakura started typing. That's ok, don't worry about it, I'm sure I can still retur…

Sakura bit her lip and deleted what she wrote. Sasuke hated when she was babbling. thx for the info she wrote instead and pressed Send.

Another message popped up, clearly written when she was phrasing her answer. A longer message.

We should stop seeing each other. I know it will be hard for you, so I'm blocking your number so that you can get over it quicker.

Sakura stared at the screen.

She didn't feel anything. For a moment it felt as if she was outside of herself, and was examining her own insides. And finding nothing, only void. There was no feeling, no emotion. How odd. She stared into herself and saw nothing. As if all her had been just deleted.

Somewhere there, there was a rattling, frantic thought that it was a life-changing moment, and nothing, nothing would be the way it was. And that she should feel something. She must. That she needed to react somehow.

Only that there was nothing that she could do – a cold, rational part of Sakura's brain supplied. She didn't have any say in what happened in their relationship. And surely, she would have exactly zero say now. She was as helpless as if she was bound to the ground, with her limbs splayed wide and a tabun of horses running at her in full gallop. She had no influence over her life. None whatsoever. Her head was starting to spin.

"You missed your stop." A voice reached her.

She jumped up. Phone fell out of her hand.

The black-haired man bent down and picked it up. Automatically she extended her hand to receive it back. It was then that she looked him in the face for the first time.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

She didn't even register what expression he was wearing. She could perceive only that, what was going on inside of her. The all-encompassing void was rising, from her stomach, to her chest, to her lungs, to her throat. It would soon drown her whole.

"Are you alright?" he asked again. She looked, this time she really looked at him and saw concern in his eyes. A stranger and more care in him than in the boy she spent years chasing after. The boy that knew that he meant everything to her.

And then the flood gates opened. Tears streamed down Sakura's face as she choked down one sob after another clutching at the phone with both her hands.

The bus swayed at the turn and the man grabbed her elbow, preventing her from falling. "Whatever it is," he said leaning a bit towards her, "it won't last. Bad things come to an end as well… It will be all fine again, you can believe me."

Sakura blinked. And sniffed. She dug her hand in the pocket of her jacket looking for the handkerchief. She could do it only because the man was still holding her elbow. "Thank you for … ehm… for the phone and… for talking to me… Did you miss your stop as well?"

"Yes, I did. My stop is the one after yours."

Right. So, he knew where she was leaving the bus, Sakura concluded. How… perceptive of him… How nice that someone paid some attention to her.

A thread of panic crept along Sakura's spine. "I'm so sorry! I was being such a nuisance! I'm sorry!" she looked up to him again. He didn't look annoyed in the slightest.

"Nothing to be sorry about. But I suppose we could leave the bus now, don't we?"

On the pavement, Sakura stood slightly stunned. The day was as beautiful and warm as it was when she had boarded the bus. The weather didn't get affected by her tragedy. What should she do now? She looked around the unfamiliar area.

The man scrolled in his phone. "Looks like the returning bus just left 2 minutes ago and the next one is in 18 minutes. We can just walk back and it will be quicker."

Sakura blew her nose. The blooming trees were still here, as beautiful as in the morning. She nodded. "Alright. Then let's go."

AN: Thank you for reading and please tell me your thoughts!