Chapter 10

How do I convince you?

Harry P.O.V

I was furious at myself. How could I be so reckless?! How could I let Ron get to me?! I should have listened to my friends! Now I'm going to get expelled! I should have stayed invisible.

I have broken all of my rules! I let all my walls fall! Don't call attention to yourself! don't make friends! don't be a freak! Stay invisible! Don't let them see! But no I broke them all! All of them on the first night of school! And now look!

I shook away the angry tears that were filling up my eyes. No! I won't let anyone see me cry! I won't let them see me sweat! Now he knows I'm a freak. Will he send me back to the Dursleys? I shivered. Will, he hit me?! I could run… I bet he's faster. I was so caught in my thoughts I hadn't even noticed us entering dad's office.

Dad's sat at the desk. "Sit!" he pointed at the uncomfortable chair in front of said desk. "Explain!" He was angry but he never yelled.

I sat on the chair. "I-"

Dad cut me off. "Do you realize the stunt you just pulled, can not be done by most professional Quidditch players!"

Oh boy! Yay! another thing to add to freaky talents!

I didn't respond. I was about to get the famous Severus Snape rant.

He growled "You. Could. Of. Died." he paused. "What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what could have happened? What would Dudley do? What would I do?"

Dad was right I never thought of Him or Dudley. Selfish freak!

"You would have splatted into-" A knock at the door stopped him mid-sentence the door opened.

Professor McGonagall strolled in and whispered something into his ear.

I could see he was fighting some kind of mental battle. It would have been funny in other circumstances. But not this one.

Dad stood up and came around. "Harry?" he's tone softer. kneeling in front of me. "Is Ron Weasley bullying you?"

My eyes started darting around the room. "No." I lied.

"Harry. Do. Not. Lie. To. Me."

I screwed up my face. Keep the walls up. Keep the walls up. I shook my head. I looked down.

"Harry please I want to help."

I whispered. "Why?"

"Excuse me?"

My head whipped up. "Why? Why do you want to help a freak! Why would you care! How would it help! It just makes it worse! How come no one can see how much of a freak I am?. They say I'm special! What makes me special? That I killed my Mom and James! Because in mind that makes me worse as Voldemort!" I could hardly breathe. "I know your games! I know you will send me back! I'll run away! They won't hurt me again!" Hot angry tears fell from my eyes. As I had a meltdown in front of the two professors.

Severus P.O.V

I listen in horror as harry broke down in front of us. The concerns he had. The way he belittled himself. He thinks he killed Lilly and James… like Voldemort. Oh hell no! I realized his breathing had changed "harry breathe with me, Come on deep breath"

It took us more than 45 minutes to calm him down. I had moved harry to the sofa and sat him on my lap at some point. "harry" my voice soft and low. "how do I convince you?" my voice low. "How do I convince you your not a freak? How do convince you that you can trust me? How do I convince you that your special? That your not the reason for their deaths? That you not like that evil monster?"

He shrugged in my arms

I sighed " I show you with my love." I lifted his head our eyes meeting. "I don't care if I tell you every day Harry. You. Are. Not. A. freak. That your not the reason they are dead. That you are special because of your power and your huge heart you have."

I wiped the tears off his face. "The boy who lived. Does not defy you, Harry. It only makes you a better sweeter person. As for Voldemort… You are in no way anything like him, I should know" I held him closer to me. "You are light harry. Even on your darkest day Harry, you are still light." I pulled him back to my chest. Also and most importantly. I. Will. Never. Ever. Send. You. Away! And I will never send you away."

I held harry in my arms for hours, I don't know when Minerva left. I just held my son while he cried. While he let himself be loved for once. We ate in my office that night.

"Harry?" I asked.

"Yes." He looked up from his charms book.

"What happened with Ron?"

Harry lay on the sofa, he put down his book and sat up. "He follows me into the bathroom." He sighed "He and his friends find it highly hilarious to flush my head down the toilet. They constantly prank me. Sometimes they do it in class. It is worse in Professor Quirrell's class."

I listened to Harry. "So it is not just Ron? How do they prank you in class? What do you mean by worse in Professor Quirrell's Class?"

Harry shook his head. "It used to be Ron, Dean, and Seamus. But after Seamus kept blowing himself up. He asked a Parvati for advice and sent him to me… He stopped hanging around with Ron soon after that." he looked into the fireplace. "Do you remember that week when my cauldron exploded?"

I nodded getting slightly angry. "Yes."

"well, when you went into the storeroom he threw something in there. I was about to get it out when it exploded. As for why it worse in Professor Quirrell's class is because he doesn't discipline them. He even laughed once."

Jerks…

I rubbed Harry's hand softly. "I will sort this out okay?" I paused. "and if I get worse, trust me I am worse."

I saw a small smirk on Harry's face. "I agree" he chuckled

I took a deep breath. "So what happened today?"

Little shrug. "He slurred Neville's name and stole his remembrance ball his Nan had sent him. I know I should have stayed on the ground… but Neville's my friend. I won't lie to you. If it was to happen again. I would do the same."

I nodded "but still you broke the rules come with me" I stood up and strolled into the potions lab. Harry followed.

I grabbed a piece of parchment and quill. "sit down" Harry did so."I want you to write. I will not be reckless and give my potions professor a heart attack. A hundred times."

Harry had an amused smirk on his face. He picked up the quill and began to write.

I walked back toward my office. I turned back. "Oh, by the way, you have Quidditch practice tomorrow." I watched his eyes light up as began to happily write his lines.