Not as many this time, but I'll take what I can get. And did anyone catch the two premises I used that were only used once on the series?

Kryten: And she originally went for older guys, at least the one in the other universe.

JayDogg187: Lol, so you caught the innuendo. :D :D :D And yes, everyone has their breaking point, and Helga reached hers. Up? Given the tangential universe she's in, "up" just might be in the direction of imaginary numbers.

Inudaughter Returns: Yes, let's hope she doesn't say TOO much here.

acosta perez jose ramiro: Yes, city life was too much for them, like it was for the original parents.

DeepVoice'06: Wow, your longest review so far! We will see Olga later. Glad you found that funny, though it was brought about by the accident. Not quite "Football Head", she has managed to catch herself so far. There's a fan theory that Arnold fell for Ruth because she looks like Stella. And you finally caught the third crack pairing! Yes, I decided to keep them together. Of course, they had to meet in a different manner because San Lorenzo doesn't exist. ALL seasons exist, the thing is that Helga not only travelled to another universe, she also went back in time, apparently. "Stinky's Girlfriend" originally lived with her parents, right until the accident, then they renounced their parental rights, so she would have been sent to an orphanage and then a foster home if Helga ("Arnold's Girlfriend") had not shown up, and don't worry, all will become clear later. Yes, things are getting very existential now, but they will find answers in a few more chapters, with even MORE questions. And do you really want to know, or do you want someone to write a "hidden chapter"? :D :D :D

First update of the year. We will see probably the best parenting Helga has received in her life, no thanks to Bob and Miriam. And Stinky finds out the truth.

I originally had this chapter joined with the previous one, but then I realised that the talk was an independent scene that could exist as a separate chapter without breaking the rhythm of the narrative.

1000 – A PARENTAL TALK

A few minutes later, once Helga had finished crying and calmed down, they sat around the round dining room table. The adults were at Helga's left, Arnold and Ruth were on her right, Stinky, Arnie, and Lila were in front of her, and the older boys were standing against the walls, and everyone was focused on the blonde girl.

Helga began her spiel, "What I'm about to tell you is something I myself wouldn't believe, either, not if it had never happened to me, but considering how complex the universe is, and how little we know about it, please, please hear me out before you call the men in white with the straightjackets."

She sighed.

"Several hours ago, I woke up in the hospital. Apparently, I had been in a coma for three months because I got hit by that truck that also hit Arnold. However, the place I woke up in is not the same place I fell asleep in.

"In fact, when I last remember falling asleep, I wasn't even in the hospital, or in front of our school. I was…um…in Sunset Arms," she blushed. "On a couch," she quickly added. "And I had never been hit by any speeding ice cream truck, either. All the changes I've seen couldn't have happened in the space of just three months, not from my point of view. My friends here tell me that I could be from a parallel universe, and while that concept may seem like science fiction to you—to me, even—it might explain why I have different memories of everyone than everyone else has of everyone, including me.

"For starters, in 'my' universe, Mr. and Mrs. Shortman, you studied anthropology and archaeology, and you two met during a dig in San—um—in Central America. The…country that the dig was in doesn't exist in this universe, but trust me, where I came from, I got the passport stamp, the plane ticket, and some money from there too, as souvenirs. I didn't bring them with me, so I can't prove anything, but that's beside the point.

"I don't know if you two ever wanted to become archaeologists, but where I come from, you did, and you got married in Central America, and you even had Arnold there, too. He was born during a volcanic eruption, which suddenly stopped the moment he took his first breath."

Arnold blinked out of sync, intrigued, and sat up straight at that statement.

The adults, meanwhile, could only stare at Helga.

And suddenly, for no apparent reason, both began feeling as if something had been missing from their lives, but never knew so until now.

"You came back to Hillwood to give Arnold a chance to grow up 'normally', but you had to leave him here with his grandparents because a friend of yours begged you two to go back to Central America to help save a jungle tribe from a horrible epidemic."

She looked at them and started to dig for answers. "Do you know anyone by the name of 'Eduardo'?"

Miles and Stella looked at each other, and the man turned to the girl, bewildered. "I know an Eduardo García. He studied archaeology—" Helga's hopes rose. "—but he has focused his research on North American tribes. The farthest south he has gone is Arizona and New Mexico, and he has even ventured to Canada and Alaska, but he has never gone to Latin America."

Helga's hopes were dashed again. Still, her stubbornness surged, and she insisted. "Okay, then, do the following terms have any meaning to you? 'San Lorenzo'? 'El Corazón'? 'The Green-Eyed People'? 'La Sombra'? 'Pink butterflies'?"

No reaction.

"A sleeping disease that affects insects and people? Having to find the cure for that disease?"

The two adults looked at the girl for a minute, and then Stella reached out to hold her trembling left hand. "Helga, we haven't been to Latin America, either. We both considered studying archaeology, but we figured it would be better to go for psychology and help people who are alive right now. As for the travels we have done, we've mostly gone to New York, Seattle, Miami, Chicago, and other big cities where children and teenagers need help. As for those terms you said, I'm afraid we haven't heard of any them. Are you sure we're supposed to know of them?"

Helga tilted her head back in defeat. "In 'my' universe, you do. But—" She looked at them and made another desperate attempt to find an answer. "Perhaps, do you remember any sudden event, a sudden change of plans, something that happened at the last moment that forced you to do something different? Anything traumatic? An accident, a disaster, a sudden feeling of not being all there, something telling you that something wasn't right, or suddenly feeling that things are much different from the way you remember them? A déjà-vu that just wouldn't go away? Anything like that?"

The parents looked at each other again for a moment, and Miles said, "The closest thing I can remember is almost not asking Stella to marry me, but that was only because she wanted to live in Los Angeles while I wanted to try Chicago. But, all of these changes you mentioned, you…'remember' them?"

She sighed, knowing she was shot down again. "Yes, I do. Where I come from, we never got hit by an ice cream truck. Arnold and Ruth never got together because he never bought that keyboard. Lila and Ruth never moved here because Phoebe never became a bully, and my fifth-grade friends here are the bullies of the school, and if you three have girlfriends here—" She turned to them. "—you don't have them there. Not to mention that in 'my' world, Phoebe is such a nice and meek girl that she was Gerald's girlfriend."

All the kids and the young couples sat and stood back at those statements, glancing at each other with slight confusion and even fright at what could have been for them.

"Really?" asked Arnold, leaning forward.

She ignored his question and turned to the older girl. "I don't know where you ended up, Ruth; last I heard you ran off with a busboy after you ditched Arnold on your failed date—yes, you had one date, and it failed."

The couple looked at each other again.

Were they actually destined to be together?

Helga continued, "Bob and M—um—my parents never moved out of Hillwood, Bo—my dad never sold his store, obviously because I never needed to go to the hospital—" She didn't tell them she was now a ward of the state because she knew that, as social workers, Miles and Stella would immediately stop the conversation and turn her in right there and then. She turned to the parents, "—and you two…you had to stay in Central America, in the country I know as 'San Lorenzo', because there you had to help a jungle tribe that was going through an epidemic of a sleeping disease. We had to rescue you, eventually, but yes, you came back and reunited with Arnold after nine years. Sunset Arms never got sold or torn down. You never moved here but stayed with us in Hillwood instead. You might be social workers here and you help people, yes, but—" She took a deep breath. "Where I come from, you're national heroes, and so is Arnold. He's practically a demigod, according to that jungle tribe."

The boy blinked out of sync. What she said was unbelievable, but at the same time…it wasn't…

A demigod?

"And that…that is how everything is in 'my' universe." She couldn't bring herself to say that she wasn't Stinky's girlfriend, lest another heart be shattered in "this" universe, much less say that she and Arnold were a couple, since that could bring feelings of jealousy on Ruth. "And that's why I was hoping that you would have some memories of what I remember, because if you did, then that might have been a clue as to how I can get back home…" Where I still HAVE my home. "But…you can't have memories of a country you never travelled to because it never existed. Um…" she suddenly thought of something, and grasped at straws. "Have you had any strange dreams that remind you of anything I said?"

"Not any that we can remember," said Stella. "I think I once dreamed about Arnold being born inside an abandoned hotel, but that was it. Now, Helga…" She leaned closer to the desperate girl, squeezed her hand, and changed the conversation. "Have you talked to your parents about this?"

"Do they know where you are?" added Miles.

Puh. I guess that for all their "social work", Bob and Miriam managed to stay off their radar.

"I…will tell them about this tomorrow," she quickly said and kicked Stinky under the table before he could say that she was very much an orphan right now, and the boy winced to himself, almost shedding tears. "I…might as well go back to Hillwood…I've…bothered you enough." She was about to stand—

"Helga, wait," said Stella suddenly.

"Y-yes?"

"Helga, you've had a long day, and it's almost dark. Would you like to stay here with us and go back to Hillwood in the morning?" There was no way they were going to leave alone a distraught child who looked so lost and helpless. "It's a bit late to go back now and then have to explain the whole thing all over again to your parents."

Puh. As if Bob and Miriam would care. Maybe I should find Olga after all. Since neither Miles nor Stella can help me, I've got nothing left.

The blonde girl took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "But I feel okay now, really…I know confession is good for the soul, and I feel better after letting everything out to people who won't think I've lost my marbles." And there's no way Ruth would ever let me stay with Ar—

"She's right, Helga. You have bags under your eyes from all that crying. You really should stay here tonight."

The blonde girl did a double take at Ruth.

Wow, she really must trust Arnold if she's okay with me staying overnight with him!

She accepted the offer, however, since she didn't want to arrive in Hillwood when it got dark. "I…I suppose I can stay here," she said with resignation, fully defeated. "Maybe you'll remember something, or dream something, and we might find out something tomorrow."

"Ah suppose we'd better hightail it outta here," said Stinky, turning to the other boys.

"Yeah, if we don't get home soon, our parents are going to give us an earful," said Wolfgang. "Well, Helga, we did all we could. Good luck."

"There wasn't much you could do," she sighed as they all stood and walked to the door. "And right now I doubt anyone can help me."

"Hey, like you said, someone might dream something that will help you get back," said Harold.

"And from what you told us, it just might happen," added Arnold.

Helga smiled at her non-boyfriend.

Wow, he didn't lose his optimism in this universe—

Her thoughts were interrupted when Ruth suddenly hugged her boyfriend and kissed his cheek. "Ever the eternal optimist, hon!"

"That's who I am," he smiled at her.

Helga could only sigh as the lump in her throat and the hole in her heart threatened to bring another meltdown.

Total defeat never felt so devastating.

At least he's happy here.

"Okay, thanks for having us, Mr. and Mrs. Shortman," said Wolfgang, waving at the couple, and the others also repeated their gratitude to the adults, who smiled and nodded in response, and the fifth-grade boy led all the youngsters out, except for Arnold.

However, just before Wolfgang opened the door, the plethora of dogs and cats suddenly ran through the house and dashed out the door the moment it opened, surprising all the visiting boys.

Do they go in the back door or what? thought Helga, but since no one said anything, she didn't bother to ask any questions concerning that.

Lila and Arnie went to their respective homes, and Ruth kissed Arnold good-bye before leaving the house and walking back to her home. However, the non-bullies walked ahead, leaving Stinky behind with Helga, and the tall boy waited until the others had left them alone in the front yard.

"Aren't you going home, 'Steven'?" she asked him.

Then, much to her surprise, Stinky turned, grabbed her, and planted his lips on hers, hugging her tightly so she couldn't escape.

Naturally, Helga gasped through the kiss and her eyes widened at his sudden display of passion. She didn't dare hug him back, much less kiss back, so she could only whine in surprise at how much Stinky loved his girlfriend.

Then, as quickly as the kiss began, it stopped.

Stinky pulled back and released her, eyes wide, almost staggering away from her in sheer terror.

"Somethin'…somethin's not right…" he gasped in shock. "Yew're…yew're Helga…but…but yew're NOT Helga…yew're not…MAH Helga…Ah think…" The boy was suddenly very frightened at the sudden possibility that Helga could be right.

More angry arm waving. "Doi! That's what I've been telling you all this time, 'Steven'!"

He was almost hyperventilating. "We've…we've gotta help yew git back…n' gotta git MAH Helga back! But…but how?" Helga's urgency to go home had very much landed on him, now that he realised what had happened, and what was going on.

She gestured angrily at him. "Look, Stinky, you can't do anything else. Just…go home, and hide that dress, okay? Your…your Helga is going to need it once I go back. She's going to need you more than ever, too, once she finds out what Bob and Miriam did to her. And…whatever happens…" she took a calming breath and smiled at him. "Thanks for your help. She sure is a lucky girl to have you. I'll call you if something comes up, okay?"

He had nothing left to say, so he just looked at the ground. "Oh…okay…good night…Helga…"

With that, the tall boy left, sad, confused, and quite afraid, too.

He couldn't bring himself to call her "luv" anymore…

Practically radiating defeat as well, Helga turned and dragged her feet back to the house.

Once inside with the family, Stella asked her, "I'm about to prepare dinner. Do you want to help me? Do you need anything?" Despite not being a heroine, she was still a mother, and certainly the mother she remembered back in "her" universe.

Helga shook her head. "Apparently, I know how to make lemon pudding, or at least, the Helga of 'this' universe does. As for me…I…I don't know how to cook…yet…so…I guess I'll…just start taking over your couch right now. Oh, wait," she suddenly said with an inkling of hope. "Do you have a notebook and a pencil or pen? I…might want to try writing. I'm not sure if I did that in 'this' world, but I did a lot of that in mine."

"I can get you that," said Arnold, and he went to his room to fetch the requested items.

Ruth, you're SO lucky. "I'm glad to see some things are still the same, even if they're not in the same town. I…hope you don't think I'm crazy, Stel—um—Mrs. Shortman."

The woman stepped up to her and fixed a few blonde locks that had gone astray. "No, I don't think you're crazy. Believe me, I've met children and teenagers and adults who have been certified as 'insane', or 'mentally ill' if you will, and you're nothing like them. We'll do everything we can to get to the bottom of this and to get you to your right home, or 'right universe', if you will. But even if you end up getting 'stuck' here, we'll make sure you are given all the help you need."

Helga smiled. "Thank you."

Stella only touched her hair, but that was a thousand times more affection than what Bob or Miriam had ever shown her.

Helga almost cried at that, too, as she felt a mother's calming love in this storm of fear and helplessness.

Arnold came back and gave her a notebook and a black pen, though her heart again didn't flutter when he did.

Helga thus sat down on the couch and tried to write something.

Anything.

She stared and stared at the blank sheet in front of her, but she was totally empty.

Crimeny! Venting everything left me completely high and dry! Or…I hope I didn't lose my writing talent in this "bizarro universe"; that would be an even BIGGER disaster for me! Come on, Helga girl, this "bizarro universe" can't have taken THIS way from you!

But the more she stared, the more nothing came to her, and she sighed in defeat.

Again.

Her stomach grumbled, but before she could complain to herself, Miles stepped beside her and announced, "Dinner will be ready in a minute, Helga. If you're hungry, we'd be happy if you join us."

She blinked and closed the notebook with a defeated sigh. "Sure, I'll be right there."

At the rectangular kitchen table, it was a simple dinner with corn on the cob, beef stew, and grape juice, but the Shortmans were rather appalled that the girl who, while trying to keep some sense of décor, was very much inhaling the food she had in front of her.

Helga looked at them.

"Whut?" she asked with her mouth full. "Nevah feen anyone haff dinner aft'r not eatin' f'r free monfs?"

Miles and Stella and Arnold just looked at each other.

This girl needed help.

BADLY.

That night, Helga laid down on the couch, kicked off her shoes, and covered herself with the black comforter that Stella had provided. It was nothing compared to her bed, much less Arnold's bed back in Sunset Arms, but at least it was one of the few times that she went to sleep with a full stomach.

As she lay there, looking at the night sky through the translucent curtains that adorned the windows, she wondered if her way back home would be the same way she arrived: by sleeping. It still had not been a full day since she appeared in this "bizarro universe", so maybe she would disappear tomorrow afternoon? And where would she appear? In Arnold's bed, at the exact time she left, and there they would continue making out? Or right after he pushed her out of the way from Jolly Olly Man? Or further in the past, or in the future?

I suppose you COULD call this a "sleepover", even if I'm not in bed with Arnold…

Not that she wanted to actually go inside his room. Chances are that he rebuilt his semi-high-tech room here, and it would be a near-perfect copy of what he had back in Sunset Arms, and if she saw it, she would very likely collapse in tears once again.

Maybe this "sleepover" might help me go back to "my" world, or maybe I'll be sent to a completely different world, and they all will wonder where I disappeared to in the middle of the night…

She couldn't think anymore; her mind was totally exhausted, and she had no strength to write, either. However, her full stomach gave her a delicious drowsiness that brought about a deep sleep in less than five minutes.