Summary: Things don't always go as planned. Faced with an unexpected pregnancy, James and Rose have to work quickly to get everything prepared for their fifth child, and to prepare their eldest children for a new addition to the family.

Ages of the Tyler-McCrimmons at the start of the chapter:
James: 39
Rose: 34
Ainsley: 9
Sianin: 6
Twins: 7 months

Chapter Rating: T

Warning for pregnancy complication.

Chapter 8:

Oh no. No no no.

Rose slid her ruined knickers down her legs, pulling them completely off to inspect the damage. She'd bled completely through them.

How long had she been bleeding? Perhaps she'd merely been spotting lightly for several hours, and that made it look like she was bleeding heavier than she actually was. That had to be it. She wasn't truly bleeding. It was just a little bit of blood. Nothing to be nervous about.

That was when a sharp, mocking cramp squeezed her lower belly.

"Please, no," she whimpered, bending double and leaning forward over her lap. "Please."

Rose finished up on the toilet then grabbed a pad and retreated to her room for a fresh pair of underwear. Spots of crimson stained the bed where she'd been lying; on autopilot, she stripped the bed and grabbed her phone, placing a call to her OBGYN's office. With more composure than she felt, Rose explained her situation and symptoms while stuffing the sheets into the washing machine.

The midwife on the other end of the line said that some bleeding was normal; however, her suggestion to come in for a checkup negated any reassurances given. With an appointment scheduled for the afternoon, Rose ended the call and instead called James. It went to voicemail. She tried his office phone line. Voicemail again.

She glanced at the clock: ten-nineteen—he was teaching. Hoping he would check his phone immediately after class, Rose sent him a text asking him to call her.

With two hours to kill until her appointment, Rose tried to pass the time by relaxing on the couch and sipping water between switching over the laundry. All the while, she was glued to her phone, begging it to ring with a call from James.

But eleven o'clock came, then eleven-thirty and he still hadn't called. Rose began panicking. She didn't want to go to this appointment by herself. She wanted her husband by her side, holding her hand and telling her that everything would be okay. And if it wasn't okay, she wanted him by her side, holding her hand and telling her that they would get through this together.

"Please call me, James," she wrote on her arms. "I really, really need to speak with you."

Rose then called the university to help her track down her husband. Her stomach sank when she was informed that he was in a series of meetings that would last until the early afternoon.

"Can we pass along a message?" the department secretary asked.

"Just tell him to call me," Rose mumbled.

She threw her phone onto the sofa seat beside her and worked on calming her breathing. Short of going to the university and bursting in on his meetings, there was no way to get to him.

Why wasn't he checking his bloody arms?

"Shit," she whimpered, eyes prickling. "Shit!"

She was out of time; she needed to leave for her appointment in a few minutes. She didn't want to go alone, and so she contacted the next-best person: Robert. The longer his phone rang without him answering, the more panicked she became. Why wasn't anybody available? She didn't know who else she could call; everyone else she trusted to go to the appointment with her lived too far away. She should have tried reaching out sooner. She should have…

"Hey." Rose nearly burst into tears at the sound of her father-in-law's voice through her phone. "How are you feeling? James texted me this morning saying you were ill."

"I need a favor," she said, her voice breaking.

"What's the matter? Are you all right?" The worry in his tone pushed her over the edge, and she began heaving huge, body-trembling sobs. "Rose? Rose!"

"I'm bleeding," she hiccupped. "I'm bleeding a lot, Dad. And I can't get a hold of James because he's stuck in a bloody meeting. I have an appointment to check on the baby and I can't go to this alone but I can't reach James and I don't know what to do!"

The words fell from her mouth in a rush amidst her sobs.

"Oh, darling," Robert whispered, his voice wobbling. "Oh, Rose. I'm… I'm so sorry."

"The midwife I spoke to said this was normal during pregnancy but I know it's not," she sniffled. "I've never bled with any of my pregnancies. Never."

"I'm on my way," Robert said. "Stay on the line with me, darling. I'll be there in a couple minutes."

"I can't lose this baby. I can't. We can't. James… he's already smitten with them and so am I. I love this baby so much."

"I know," Robert said gently.

With crippling, crushing intensity, Rose remember that her father-in-law had gone through this same heartbreaking scenario many times before with his wife. Her face crumpled anew. "Dad, I didn't… I forgot… You don't have to come. You don't have to see this again."

"Don't you dare," Robert said firmly. "You do not want to go through this alone, Rose. I won't let you do this alone."

"But…"

"No buts. I'm coming with you to the doctor and that's that."

Her tears started fresh, hard enough that she wasn't capable of replying to his gentle words.

A few minutes later, her front door opened and her call with Robert ended. She sniffed hard and grabbed tissues to blot her nose and eyes as Robert stepped into the living room. His eyes were red-rimmed but dry as he approached her and sat on the sofa beside her.

"I can't stop crying," Rose rasped.

"I know." He gathered her close to his chest, rubbing his hand up and down her back in broad, slow strokes.

"I want James," she whimpered. "I mean… thank you for coming. But… I want James."

"I know," he said again. "I know, darling."

"How am I supposed to tell him? What do I say?"

"Let's wait until we hear what a medical professional has to say," Robert said. "Then we can go from there."

"James should be here," she said. "What if he hates me for not trying harder to contact him?"

"He won't," Robert promised. "He could never hate you. Never. He'll be more upset that he made himself so unreachable, honestly."

Rose snorted a half-hearted laugh, then glanced at the clock. "We need to go."

Robert was the one to drive them into town to Rose's gynecologist. He held her hand for the entire drive and then as she waited to be called back. All the while, Rose attempted to get a hold of her husband but to no avail.

"Rose." She lifted her head as Elizabeth's familiar voice sounded from the doorway to the exam rooms. "Come on back with me."

"I… I wasn't expecting you…" It was a relief to be seen by her usual midwife.

Elizabeth gave her a solemn smile. "I saw you were on the appointments schedule… and saw your symptoms. I made myself available."

Rose followed Elizabeth into an exam room, Robert trailing quietly behind them. When she saw Elizabeth glancing at him, Rose said, "My father-in-law. Robert. James is… unavailable."

Elizabeth shook his hand. "I should have known. James looks just like you. Let me get your height and weight, Rose."

Rose was silent through the preliminary checks, unsurprised when Elizabeth told her that her blood pressure and pulse were both high. Her voice was unsteady as she told Elizabeth when the symptoms had started and how they'd progressed.

"Let's do an ultrasound. Lie back on the bed for me." Elizabeth glanced over at Robert.

"He's staying," Rose said firmly.

Elizabeth nodded then rolled the ultrasound instrument closer. "You shift your clothing a bit? Free up that tummy."

Rose slid her trousers and knickers slightly down her hips and pulled her t-shirt to just below her breasts, revealing her bare stomach.

"This'll be a tad cold," Elizabeth warned, though Rose already knew what the gel felt like.

It didn't stop the jumping of her stomach muscles as Elizabeth squirted the cool gel onto her lower abdomen. Elizabeth then pressed the probe onto her skin and rolled it around, smearing the gel as she looked intently at the computer monitor.

Nervous tremors rippled through her body; Rose jiggled her foot to release some of the anxious tension.

"Lie as still as you can for me," Elizabeth requested. "And try to relax. Easier said than done, I know."

Rose breathed in slowly and deeply, trying to mentally prepare herself for the bad news that was sure to come. News that her baby was gone and she was miscarrying. Heat welled in her eyes, and she whimpered against fresh tears. They streaked in hot, wet lines down her temples and towards her ears.

I want James.

Rose would have done anything, given anything, for her husband to magically appear in the room. She wanted to be holding his hand. She wanted him to kiss her softly, to lie to her and tell her everything was okay even though it wasn't. She wanted to cling to him as they grieved the loss of their child.

Exhaling a shuddering breath, Rose pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until blooms of lights spread beneath her lids. How was she supposed to tell James that their baby was gone? That she had lost their baby?

Her face crumpled and she couldn't stop the shaking of her shoulders as she cried into her palms. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't feel anything apart from the raw, gaping hole in her chest.

Elizabeth blew out a low breath. "Rose. Rose, look at me. Look. Here's your baby, Rose."

"Oh, darling." Robert's voice cracked. He rested his hand on her wrist and squeezed. "Rose, darling, look."

Confused, Rose dropped her hands and opened her eyes, but her vision was speckled and blurry from the pressure she'd put on her eyes. She blinked rapidly, impatiently rubbing away her tears and trying to focus on the computer monitor Elizabeth had turned towards her. There was a grainy gray image on the screen.

"I don't see…"

Elizabeth re-centered the probe, then pointed to the screen. A black cavern was in the middle of the screen, but nestled among the blackness was a small, white shape. A small, white, baby-shaped shape.

"My baby?" Rose croaked.

"Your baby," Elizabeth confirmed, tapping a couple buttons on the computer. The picture zoomed in on the baby, and Rose let out a whimper as she could just barely make out her baby's features: the curved body; the circle of its head; the four stumpy pegs of its limbs.

Elizabeth pressed a couple more buttons; a rapid whump-whump-whump sounded through the room.

"The heartbeat," Rose whispered, squeezing Robert's hand so tightly it hurt. "Dad… Dad, my baby has a heartbeat!"

"I'm so happy," he said warmly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and planting a kiss to her hair.

"Let me see something," Elizabeth murmured to herself, and she pressed down and in on Rose's lower abdomen, jiggling slightly. "Aha!"

The baby on the screen began wriggling, flexing its arms and legs before rolling onto its back.

"They… they're moving," Rose whimpered, eyes glued to the computer monitor to watch her child.

"Actually, that's a great position," Elizabeth said. She clicked on the screen and dragged her cursor from the baby's head to its bum. "There we go. Your baby measures just shy of two centimeters, which puts you at almost nine weeks. The current prediction for your due date based off of fetal length is late May, around the twenty-sixth."

Rose turned her attention to Elizabeth. "But… the bleeding."

"I found the source of that, too. Let's zoom back out for a minute. Aaaand… here. Let me identify all of the pieces for you. This is the gestational sac." Elizabeth pointed to the black cavern that housed the baby. "There's your baby, as we've seen. And this is your uterus." She pointed to the large gray mass that surrounded the gestational sac. "This is your placenta." She traced the grayish mass between the baby and the uterine wall. Then she pointed to a small, dark mass beside the gestational sac. "And this is what we call a subchorionic hemorrhage."

"Hemorrhage?" Robert asked sharply.

"It means that you have a bit of bleeding between the chorion—the sac surrounding the baby—and the endometrium—the inner wall of your uterus," Elizabeth explained calmly. "While not common, this isn't a rare pregnancy complication."

"I've never heard of it before."

"Often it is asymptomatic," Elizabeth said with a shrug. "Some women have them without bleeding, so unless a sonographer catches it or is looking for it, it often goes unnoticed. However, bleeding and cramps are the most common symptoms."

"Will it go away?"

"Usually. Once the hemorrhaging—the bleeding—stops, it's called a hematoma. That's basically a clot of blood sitting there. Sort of like an internal bruise. Over time, the hematoma often dissolves on its own and the issue will resolve itself."

"And if it doesn't?" Rose asked.

"We will continue monitoring it. Yours doesn't appear to be an aggressive bleed, and it is not alarmingly large."

"Will it grow at all?" Robert asked. "If she's actively bleeding…?"

"It might," Elizabeth admitted.

"How can I make it not grow?" Rose asked, desperate. "I will do anything you ask."

"Honestly, there isn't much to be done for it. However, try to limit your physical activity for the next couple of weeks. I'm not placing you on a strict bedrest or anything, but try to limit the movement you do. No strenuous activity. No running or heavy lifting. No walking apart from your typical household movements. No running. Try to stay as stress-free as possible. Tricky, I know, with four children. And sorry to break this one, but no sex for a couple weeks, until the bleeding has stopped and the clot has shrunk."

"How long will the bleeding and cramping last?" Rose asked, not fazed with the no sex edict. She was sure James wouldn't mind either, if that meant giving their child a better chance to grow and thrive while in her womb.

"Could be a few days, could be a few weeks. It depends on whether your hemorrhage grows, and whether the eventual hematoma redissolves itself. I want to see you again in two to three weeks to check on everything. If the bleeding or cramping becomes much worse, come in sooner." Elizabeth turned to her computer and typed away on it for a few quiet seconds.

"Could further complications arise from this?" Robert asked. "I'm not well-versed in anatomy, but I know things are pretty crowded in there during pregnancy. Could the hemorrhage somehow damage the placenta? If it bleeds between the placenta and the uterus, couldn't it cause the placenta to pull away?"

"It could," Elizabeth said. "That's one of the fears with this sort of thing. However, judging by the size and placement of Rose's bleeding, I would say that it is highly unlike for that to happen. Not impossible, mind, which is why I want you to try to take it as easy as you can, Rose. Just like with any injury, rest and limiting the movement of the affected area will speed the healing."

Rose nodded, numb and overwhelmed, but clinging to the mental picture of her baby moving and rolling inside her womb. "Can I… can I have a print of the scan? To show James? And can you label the… the… sub, er, subchronic…"

"Subchorionic hemorrhage," Elizabeth answered. "And absolutely. Tell you what, I'll print you a clean copy and one with notes on it."

"And, sorry, but could I record the heartbeat for James?" Rose asked sheepishly. She could already sense his impending panic about the baby, but she knew hearing the heartbeat would have a calming effect on him, like it had with her.

Elizabeth smiled in agreement. She pressed the ultrasound probe into Rose's lower belly once more and brought up the image of her baby. Rose directed Robert to the pocket in her purse that held her phone, and had him take a video of the computer monitor. Helpfully, Elizabeth coaxed the baby into moving, and Rose smiled faintly as the baby twisted and flexed.

"Heartbeat's a strong 160 beats per minute," Elizabeth noted. "You've got a very healthy baby growing in there."

Afterwards, Elizabeth handed Rose a few paper towels so she could wipe her belly clean while the midwife left the room to retrieve a few papers she'd printed. She returned with a stack of information packets, along with a glossy ultrasound photograph of the baby.

"I know this is scary and overwhelming," Elizabeth said as she handed the papers to Rose, "but I assure you that this is a complication that usually resolves itself on its own. Try not to Google it too much, if you can help it."

Rose snorted. "Have you met my husband?"

Elizabeth cracked a grin. "Yes, which is why I'm advising you to try to keep him from researching more about it. Obviously, the more information the better, but make sure it's a vetted source to minimize any undue anxiety. If either of you have questions, please don't hesitate to phone our office. Any of our midwives will be able to provide you with information or resources."

"Thank you very much," Rose said. "Genuinely. Thank you."

"You're very welcome," Elizabeth said. "Go home and rest now. I'll see you in a couple weeks."

With a follow-up appointment scheduled, Rose gathered up her things then walked quietly with her father-in-law to the car. She slid into the passenger's seat, buckled her seatbelt, then sighed heavily.

"How are you feeling?" Robert asked, touching her knee.

"Exhausted," she admitted.

"I'll bet. I am so relieved for you, Rose," Robert said. "I am so glad everything is all right with my newest grandbaby."

"Me too. Thank you for coming to this appointment. I know it must have been hard… I'm grateful you were with me."

Robert let out a low breath and kept his eyes forward as he spoke. "The first time Vera miscarried, I wasn't with her. I couldn't get off work. It was her first appointment; she was maybe nine weeks along. Well. She was supposed to be nine weeks along. The baby had stopped growing at around six weeks. I wasn't there at her appointment and she had to be told the news alone. They had to… they had to induce her, to make her body expel…" Robert drew in a shaky breath that nearly made Rose start crying. "I wasn't there for her, and I've hated myself for that every day since. I went to every single appointment with her after that. So if there is ever a time when James isn't available or is unreachable, please call me. I'm more than willing to go with you."

Rose's tears spilled over. She swiped at them impatiently then rested her hand on her father-in-law's arm, squeezing gently. He glanced over at her and offered a small smile.

"I can't imagine how hard that was for you and Vera. I'm so sorry, Dad."

"It was a dark couple of years for us," he admitted. "We nearly called it quits. We told ourselves that children weren't in the cards for us, but then we got pregnant with James." He laughed ruefully. "Vera was in denial about the pregnancy until the day James was born. She was convinced he wouldn't make it. Despite all of her appointments showing us a healthy baby, I don't think she could invest herself in another child she was certain she would lose. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby, refused a baby shower, didn't help with setting up the nursery and got upset with me for setting it up."

Rose's heart broke. She couldn't imagine the grief of miscarrying a child not once, but multiple times.

"Even as she was in labor, I don't think it truly sank in that our baby was coming," Robert said. "God, she was laboring forever. Nearly two days. You know what that's like."

Rose hummed. She'd been in labor with Sianin for fifty-one hours, according to James. While her mind had blessedly forgotten the details, she knew it had been excruciating. And she knew James had not forgotten a single moment of her agony.

"Vee was convinced it was taking so long because there was a problem with the baby, that he hadn't made it. She told the doctor by the end of it to perform a cesarean to end her suffering and to take the baby away. A half hour later, James was born. They set him on her chest and she was yelling at the nurses and yelling at me that she didn't want to see the baby and to get him off of her, when all of a sudden, he started crying. I'd never seen her so stunned." Robert chuckled to himself, lost in his memories. "I made a move to pick him up, because even though she was in denial about having a healthy, living, breathing child, I certainly wasn't, and I wanted to hold my son. And she smacked me. She actually, genuinely smacked me."

Rose snorted.

"It sank in after that," Robert said. "Then she began panicking that we had nothing ready for him. We didn't even have a name for him; she wouldn't discuss names with me at all up until then."

"How did you come up with a name for him, anyway?" Rose couldn't imagine her soulmate having a name other than James. They were James and Rose, always and forever.

Robert smiled and recited, "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Rose was taken aback. "Is that…?"

"A biblical passage," Robert answered, nodding. "That passage was a favorite of ours, particularly during our struggles to conceive. Ultimately our patience was rewarded. We had a perfect little baby boy. Those verses are from the book of James, so it only made sense to name him James. Our perfect work."

"And then you gave him your name too."

"Mhm. Since I'd taken Vera's last name, and therefore James would have her last name, she wanted him to have a name of mine, too. James Robert McCrimmon. Our little Jamie. That was Vera's pet name for him."

"I remember," Rose said with a wistful smile. "God, I wish I could have met her, even if it was only once."

"I wish that, too. But she always loved hearing from you," Robert said. "She loved chatting with you on the phone or through James."

"Speaking of James…" Rose grabbed for her purse when she felt it vibrating between her feet. She rooted around until she found her phone; her husband's grinning face confirmed him as the caller. "What am I supposed to tell him?"

"The truth," Robert said.

"No shit," she remarked, rolling her eyes. "I meant how do I explain all of this to him? I don't want to worry him."

"Well, you can't ignore him," Robert said.

"I could."

"You think that won't make him panic more? Having seen several missed calls and messages from you, asking him to call you, and then suddenly you're not answering?"

Rose sighed, her shoulders slumping. She only had another couple of rings before it would go to voicemail. Inhaling deeply, Rose pressed the little green phone icon, accepting his call.

"Hiya," she said, hoping her voice sounded cheery and unbothered.

"Rose. I just got your messages." His voice sounded tight with worry already. "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay? Has your stomach gotten worse? Do you need me to come home?"

"I'm fine," Rose said gently. "But I… I need to tell you something. Are you somewhere private? Are you alone?"

"In my office. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm going to tell you why I wanted to get a hold of you, but firstly, I need you to know that I'm all right, and so is the baby. Okay? We're both okay."

He was silent for a few long seconds. "Why did you need to preface with that?"

"Because I don't want you to worry." Rose licked her lips, debating, before finally saying, "I had a bit of bleeding."

"Bleeding?"

"Yeah. I went to my OBGYN," Rose said.

"Your OBGYN?"

"Yeah. And everything is fine."

"Fine?"

"Are you gonna repeat everything I say?" she teased.

He didn't laugh. "Where are you? Which hospital? I'm on my way."

"No need…"

"Like hell," he snapped. "Where are you?"

"James, stop. I'm on my way home."

"Then I'll meet you there," he said tightly. He was quiet for a beat, then sniffed. "You and the baby are both okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. I… I heard the heartbeat, love. It's beautiful. Our baby is beautiful. Looked like a little gummy bear."

He snorted softly. "I'm heading home. I want to know everything."

"I can tell you over the phone," she complained.

"I need to see your face," he said.

She frowned. "You don't believe me when I say I'm fine?"

"It's not that," he said. "Of course I believe you. I just… I need to see you. I can't explain."

Rose knew exactly what he meant. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye." He disconnected their call, and Rose stuffed her phone back into her purse.

"That went as well as could be expected," Rose said, rubbing her fingertips into her eyes. "He'll meet us at the house."

Robert drove them home in silence. When they got there, James's car was already parked in the drive.

"Did he speed?" Rose muttered, rolling her eyes.

He must have been watching for her, because they'd barely pulled up behind his car when the front door opened and he walked towards them. Rose could see the anxious tension vibrating through his body. The moment the car turned off, she exited the vehicle and went directly to him.

He went in for the hug at the same time she did. He clutched her closely, murmuring her name. The events of the day hit her all at once, and to her mortification, her tears started up again in earnest until she was sobbing into his neck.

"I swear I'm fine," she blubbered. "I swear it. God, I'm a mess. I'm sorry. It's been a long day, is all. I'm sorry."

"It's all right," he whispered, rubbing her back. "I'm sorry you couldn't reach me today. I'm so sorry. I was in a series of meetings all morning and afternoon, and I left my phone in my office, and the university hasn't turned on the heating yet so I was freezing and kept my hands inside my sleeves, so I didn't see my arms. Sorry, you don't care about any of that. Let's go inside and we'll chat, eh? Have a nice cuppa tea and some biscuits or something. Are you hungry? Have you eaten today?"

"Piece of toast," she said, sniffing thickly.

"Baby needs more than that," he reprimanded. "Come. If your stomach can handle it, we'll eat a proper lunch. I haven't had a chance to eat since breakfast either."

"I'm not hungry," Rose argued, but she let him guide her into the house.

"Another piece of toast then?" he suggested. "You need something in your stomach."

He held her by the shoulders and marched her into their kitchen. He let go of her long enough to pull out the kitchen chair for her. When she was safely seated, he moved to their pantry.

"Toast and something else? Oatmeal? Fruit? Eggs?"

"Er, just toast," Rose said. Everything else he suggested made her stomach roll.

"Two pieces then," he said. "Do you mind if I eat?"

"Nothing too smelly, please."

"A great big tuna, pickle, and sardine sandwich coming right up then," he said with a wink.

Rose rolled her eyes at her daft husband as he moved about the kitchen, starting the kettle and her toast.

"I was going to head home, unless you'd rather I stay?"

Rose jumped as Robert touched her shoulder. He was holding her purse and the stack of papers Elizabeth had given her.

"Thanks. No, it's all right. You can go home. Thanks for everything, Dad."

"You are very welcome." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Feel better, darling."

James was looking at them curiously as he assembled a turkey, cheese, and crisps sandwich. But he didn't say anything, and instead continued making their threadbare meal.

Five minutes later, after the kettle had beeped and her tea had steeped, he juggled a plate and two mugs in his hands as he joined her at the table, sitting beside her rather than across from her. While she definitely did not want to eat, she knew she ought to try, lest she get lightheaded. She nibbled at her toast while he crunched on his sandwich; apart from the sounds of their chewing, they sat in silence for many long seconds, the time ticking out before them. Rose wasn't sure how to broach the conversation; she'd been counting on him to ask questions to kickstart it all back up again.

"This is really good," she said mindlessly, jutting her chin to the steaming cup cradled in her hands.

"Thanks," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she said. "Been nauseated and cramping all day."

He nodded, his head bobbing for far too long before he blurted, "And bleeding, evidently. What does that mean, bleeding? Like… spotting? A drop of blood? Bit more than that?"

Rose bit her lip. "Heavy enough that I put a pad on."

He paled. "That… that's a lot… You shouldn't be bleeding at all while pregnant."

"We're fine," she repeated patiently. "Remember. Look." She pulled the stack of papers toward them; the glossy sonogram photograph was right on top. "Look at our beautiful little baby."

His hands trembled as he took the photo from her. She scooted her chair closer to him until her thigh pressed into his. She used her pinkie finger to trace the little white blob of their child.

"There they are."

"They?" His voice was choked. "T-two? Twins?"

"No, sorry, just one," Rose said. "I didn't want to call them an 'it'. Sorry, love." He exhaled raggedly, his attention still on the sonogram. "Told you they looked like a gummy bear."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, I suppose they do."

"Oh, and I've got a surprise." She fished into her purse for her mobile and pulled up the video of the sonogram scan. As soon as she hit play, the rapid sounds of their baby's heart snapped his attention to her phone.

"That's… that's… their heart. That's the heart."

"Mhm," Rose said, resting her cheek on his shoulder as she listened to the beautiful beats over and over. She thought she could listen to it forever. Her children's heartbeat was her favorite sound in the whole world. She loved holding her daughters close enough to feel that firm, steady beat beneath their chest.

"Our baby has a heart," he whispered, staring at Rose in awe.

"I should hope so," she said, knocking her knee into his. "Oh, watch this."

She backed the video up a few seconds, then pointed to the screen. Their baby was twisting and rolling, flexing their little arms and legs.

"They… they can move," James breathed. "Could you feel them? Inside?"

"Not yet," Rose admitted. "It's a bit early for that. I'm only nine weeks pregnant."

"So… the bleeding. Is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Rose said, rifling through the papers until she got to the labeled ultrasound image. "Here."

"Oh, well this is helpful," James said. "Why can't they label all the ultrasounds like this?"

"Aesthetics," she teased.

He stuck his tongue out at her, but the mirth disappeared from his face when his eyes locked on a section of the ultrasound.

"Hemorrhage. A hemorrhage? You've got a hemorrhage?!"

"James, breathe…"

"Don't tell me to bloody breathe! You've got a bloody hemorrhage! You're bleeding internally! What does this mean? How serious is this?"

"James," she said firmly, covering his shaking hands. "James, look at me."

His eyes were wide and panic-stricken as they landed on hers. She cradled his face in her palms; his cheeks were cold and clammy. She stroked them with her thumbs.

"I am okay," she said slowly. "Do you hear me? I am fine."

"A hemorrhage," he rasped, voice breaking.

"I know," she said gently. "And I know that sounds scary. But I'm fine. Do you trust me?"

"Always."

"Then listen to me and trust me: I'm okay. The baby is okay. We're both okay."

She leaned forward and pecked a soft kiss to his lips, then she sat back to explain everything that Elizabeth had told her. The longer she spoke, the more she saw James's anxiety abating. He remained tense and jittery, but the raw panic in his eyes had muted.

He blew out a shaky breath when she'd finished speaking. "How did this happen?"

"Dunno. Apparently it's something that happens sometimes."

"When is your next appointment?" James asked, snatching his phone from the table. She told him, and watched him input the date and time into his calendar. "I should be free… I don't teach at that time."

"I know. I tried to find a time in your schedule where you might be available to go to the appointment with me."

He pressed a thankful kiss to her forehead, then let his lips linger there as he leaned into her. "I'm so sorry that you couldn't reach me today. I am so sorry."

Rose shrugged and carded her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "Dad was able to come with me."

"But I should have been there. I should have been there with you. I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry."

Rose was alarmed to hear his voice crack. She shifted out of her chair to perch in his lap instead. He wound his arms tightly around her waist and buried his face into her neck. His breathing was ragged as he held her desperately to him.

"I'm okay, love. I'm okay," she murmured over and over again. "I love you. I love you so much."

"What if the baby…"

"Don't," she interrupted gently. "Just… don't. Please. Our baby is fine. They're moving and they have a heartbeat and they are safe and healthy."

"But…"

"James," she begged, "please. Don't. I've been panicking about losing our baby all morning and I can't… I just can't. Do you know how sick I felt, thinking that I had lost our baby and that I would have to tell you that I lost our baby? So please. I really, really don't want to think about that anymore."

He was silent for a few seconds before he nodded into her neck. "Sorry. One last thing, because I can't bear the thought of you not knowing… it wouldn't have been your fault. If anything had happened… it wouldn't have been your fault."

"James," she said sharply.

"I'm done now. Promise. Let's sit like this for a while, yeah?"

"Well, unless you'd like me to wee on you, I'd better visit the toilet before we keep cuddling. And d'you think we can lie down in bed? I didn't sleep much last night, and this morning sapped the rest of my energy. Oh, bugger. The sheets are in the dryer."

He pressed a kiss to her neck and dropped his arms from around her. "I'll make the bed. You go wee."

Rose slid lightly off his lap and padded down the hall to their bedroom and bathroom. Despite already knowing she was bleeding, it didn't make it any easier to see the evidence. She was torn between closing her eyes and pretending it wasn't happening, and cataloguing every minute detail of it so that she could track any changes, for better or worse.

James was in the middle of wrestling with the fitted sheet by the time she emerged from the toilet. After hurriedly washing her hands, she came to his aid and helped him stretch it across their mattress. Together they made the bed, shucked off their trousers, and crawled beneath the fresh sheets.

James lay on his back, arm outstretched for her, and she willingly tucked herself into his side. Resting her head in the crook of his shoulder, Rose draped her leg across his and wrapped her arm around his middle, thoroughly anchoring herself to her husband.

"You feel so good," she mumbled, her eyes going heavy. "You smell good too."

"I aim to please," he said, curling his arm around her shoulders. "I can't believe I didn't ask… is there anything Elizabeth told you to do for your hemorrhage?"

"Rest and relaxation mostly," Rose said.

"Bed rest?" he asked, alarmed.

"No, no. But nothing strenuous beyond the normal workload of caring for the kids." Rose grimaced to herself and said, "And no sex for a few weeks. Sorry."

James snorted. "If we have to abstain for this entire pregnancy, it will be worth it. I will do anything to ensure we get to hold our baby at the end of May."

Rose nuzzled closer to him, tucking her nose into his neck and breathing in his scent. "Me too."

"D'you think we've got a boy or a girl cooking in there?" he mused, trailing his fingertips slowly through her hair.

Her scalp tingled pleasantly beneath his touch and her mind went blissfully blank, making it difficult to reply to him.

"Do you think my little swimmers finally made a boy?" he asked. "I think they did it this time."

Rose snorted. "I'm starting to think you haven't got a single Y-chromosome swimmin' around down there."

"Excuse you!" he squawked, his voice going high and squeaky.

She laughed and squeezed her arm around his middle. "M'teasin'. I dunno what we've got, and I don't particularly care. I want a healthy, happy child."

"Yeah, me too. Obviously. Still. It's fun to think about."

"You gonna yap all afternoon or let me sleep?" she mumbled. "We've only got a few hours 'til the kids are done with school. What're we gonna tell 'em, anyway?"

"Let me worry about that. I'll say you have the stomach flu or something. Sleep, love. I'll be here until I go collect the kids."

"Love you," she grunted, pressing closer to his warm body.

James reached down and pulled their blankets closer, tucking them around her shoulders. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you, too," but Rose was already asleep.

If you read this and enjoyed it, let me know. I love hearing from you.