Chapter nine: communication is the key

Alicia had decided to stick around. There were still lots of things to discuss and lots of people to catch up with. Maybe she could find a private moment with both Fred and George and talk things out. She wanted everyone to feel comfortable around her, and currently that was not the case.

But first she wanted to get to know her surroundings. She wandered all the way to the top floor. As she walked on the squeaky floorboards she heard strange noises from the door on her left. It was hard to make out what made the noise. It was either an animal screeching or a person with a very bad cough.

She opened the door and remembered where she had heard the sound before. Inside the room all the furniture was removed. In the middle stood the majestic Buckbeak. Next to him, the almost just as majestic Sirius Black.

'I…heard strange noises,' she said in a way of explaining why she had rushed in the room without knocking.

'Does it often work out for you to barge into rooms where you heard strange noises?' Sirius asked sarcastically. He had just placed a bucket of meat on front of Buckbeak and was now brushing the hairs on the horse-part of the creature.

'Point taken,' Alicia said. Buckbeak eyed her and she bowed elegantly. He went back to eating.

Sirius cleared his throat. 'Alicia, I wanted to apologize. My behaviour at the table was childish.'

Alicia found a decent spot on the floor and sat down with her back against the wall and her legs stretched out in front of her. 'Very childish. But what could I expect.'

He grinned. 'You have to understand, your uncomfortable situation has been my biggest source of entertainment for months. I hate this bloody house. I hate the rooms, the portrait of my mother, the smell...everything. For a moment there I was trying to forget where I was and distracted myself with your life. Even though it pained you. For that, I am sorry.'

Alicia chuckled. 'Oh don't think I hold a grudge for that. Let's be honest; I worked myself in that situation. When I saw Molly at the door I should have realised all the Weasleys were present. Well, except for Percy. Not that I mind. That prick was in my year. He loved telling people they were wrong. Do you know where he is?'

'I heard something about a falling out between his parents and him. He works for the minister. I bet it has to do with the ministry not believing Dumbledore,' Sirius said, only partially interested.

'I can't believe it. The evidence is everywhere. Even in my one evening in Diagon Alley I saw the difference. People are scared. No one is in the streets at night. Dark figures visit the bar, not afraid to show off how cruel they are. Not to mention everything Harry has suffered.' Her heart went out for the boy. She hoped to see him again soon. He had witnessed death now. He had lost a schoolmate, maybe even a friend. And more might follow. She shivered at the dark thought.

'Politics are complicated. Fudge has a reason for this. But there are more important questions to ask right now.'

Alicia raised an eyebrow. 'Such as?'

He looked up from his work with a smile. 'How did your talk with Moony go?'

She let out a big gulp of air, slowly through her lips. 'I wanna say: good, then less good, then…complicated.'

Sirius laughed. 'That does sound complicated. What happened?'

'Well, first we talked things through. It got a bit heated but not too badly. I forgave him for the scar, I apologized for some things I have said. Then…we argued again. Shouting and all. And then…that idiot kissed me. I was…still am so confused.' She was biting her nails, concentrating and staring at the far wall. A blush appeared on her cheeks as she remembered that heated kiss.

Sirius stopped fuzzing over the hippogriff and sat down with her. 'Cheeky Moony. But it doesn't seem like you minded that. You are even blushing now.'

She tried to hide that fact, but failed miserably. 'Perhaps.'

'Can I just ask, why did you come back today? What did you hope to achieve?' he seemed genuinely curious. There was a piece of straw in his hair that she picked out and threw on the floor.

'I have to say honestly that I don't know exactly. As in, I knew I had to apologize for my shouting yesterday among other things. I knew I wanted us to be on better terms. If I'm going to work with the Order we better be on speaking terms right? But…I still haven't figured out what I really want. I'm not sure I want him back. Also not sure I'm looking for closure. And I'm pretty sure being friends is not an option. So…what is left? I just…don't know.' She breathed in and out deeply and ran her fingers through her hair.

'That is confusing. But my word of advice is to figure it out quickly. At some point Remus is going to ask you the same thing, and you better know it by then. Or you might miss your opportunity.'

She smiled. 'What would I do without my wise old man?'

He got up and offered her a hand. 'Call me old one more time and I'm telling the twins about the kisses. Then you are in double trouble.'

'Yep. Shutting up now.'

There was some progression throughout the day. After her talk with Sirius he had given her a tour of the house. She especially liked his old room, with all sorts of objects reflecting back on the rebellious teenager he was before he ran away. When she reached the kitchen, she offered Molly to help. The woman took her up on her offer gladly and started explaining all the best ways to use magic in the kitchen. Alicia hadn't cooked often, but she was a quick learner. Molly seemed to like her.

Then she had settled down for a game of exploding snap with Ginny, Ron and Fred. George was in his room doing something secret that Ginny really wanted to know. But the more she asked the further away she seemed to be. Ron had stopped feeling awkward around Alicia. Clearly his little crush from two years back had subsided. One less guy to worry about!

She tried getting Fred alone but the moment their game was over George was downstairs again. There were too little moments to do this without being suspicious. She knew deep down that she had to grit her teeth and do it, but she hadn't gathered the courage yet.

Arthur, Bill and Charlie were away to do their work for the Order. The only person left was Hermione, who had decided to stay in her room for a while.

Around dinnertime the previously absent people came back, including Remus. Everyone seemed in a good mood, and it only got better when they smelled the meat pies Molly and Alicia had made. Alicia was taking the floral apron off she had found in the kitchen and walked back to the dinner table. Sirius was whispering something to Remus, who smiled and shook his head. They were looking at her.

'What?' she asked, feeling silly.

Remus stepped closer to her, put his thumb in his mouth and started wiping something off her forehead. 'You have flour here.'

She froze and waited for him to take his hand back. 'Thanks,' she said quickly before turning back to Molly.

Dinner was pleasant and not confronting. The talk was light, mostly about Arthur's work. He told them how he had found out that muggles were having phones now that they could take with them. He was rambling on about chargeable batteries and everyone enjoyed his enthusiasm. Alicia cast a couple of glances at Remus, who seemed to be more comfortable too. From the corner of his eye he would look back at her. She had flashbacks to all the times she had stared at him across the Great Hall. How he had sat at the High table with the other teachers and enjoyed his meal or conversed with others. Back then he had noticed her glances, so it wasn't hard for him to notice them now too.

Hermione was still giving her judgemental looks. Clearly she didn't seem to think it was okay to date a teacher. She should never have said anything, but she couldn't take it back anymore.

When everyone was done eating the question came again: 'Alicia are you staying?' It was Sirius this time who had asked. He didn't mean to put her on the spot, he just wanted to know. Remus was giving her a curious look too.

'It's a bit soon, I think,' she said softly. 'I need to make myself a bit more at home in London. Find my own path for a little while. But I will come back from time to time, if you guys want me to.'

'Of course dear! Come back every evening for dinner if you like!' Molly said with a big smile. Clearly she had done something right by helping her. Most of them agreed with Molly, except for Hermione who remained silent.

She got up to leave and everyone got up to say their quick goodbyes. She hugged people and kissed cheeks around the room. Near the exit, Remus was waiting. 'I'll let you out,' he said with a smile.

They walked down the narrow hall towards the front door. Charles was ahead of her, pawing the door. She retrieved her coat and was ready to go. She turned around and looked at Remus. He was still taking on Sirius' suggestions for clothing. Today he was dressed in a mint green and light grey combo. It suited him well.

'I figured it was better to give each other some space. I don't want to invade your home,' she told him earnestly.

He scratched the back of his neck. 'That is very thoughtful of you. I appreciate it.'

She nodded. A silence fell apart from the whimpering sounds of Charles.

'Well I should go,' she said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder.

'Yeah. Hey, be careful out there. And come back whenever. I mean it, please feel welcome here. They are your friends too.' He seemed to consider hugging her, but she decided it was best not to get too close now. She might just end up doing something unexpected.

'Thanks. Will do!' she said while she opened the door and stepped outside. On the front porch she apparated. Remus kept looking at the spot where she had disappeared for a while, before closing the door.

Alicia tried to find her way in this new situation. She got herself an apartment in Diagon Alley for a reasonable rate. She got a job at Eeylops Owl Emporium for the time being and spent her free time with Charles. Sometimes they would go up to the roof, transfigure Charles back into his brilliant lizard form, place a concealment charm over him and fly up through the clouds. It was extremely rare for a witch to be able to ride a dragon. She was very aware of that. It made the whole experience even more beautiful and thrilling.

Being in the wizarding community every day also gave her interesting information to share with the Order. The way people behaved in the streets, how many people were reading The Daily Prophet and what they spoke about when shopping. In her time in Romania Alicia had learned many tricks of blending in and learning from the side-lines. From time to time they needed to investigate why eggs or horns went missing, and Alicia had investigated a couple of cases. Even with her long blonde hair and intense eyes she knew how to sit at a bar and be ignored.

She used this knowledge in the Leaky Cauldron every night. When someone becomes a regular, no one bats an eye anymore. She ate and drank in the bar and listened to what colleagues, friends and even strangers had to tell each other. It made her feel useful. She wondered what Dumbledore was thinking of all the information she was providing.

Another custom was to go to Grimmauld Place at least twice a week. Just for dinner and drinks afterwards. She wouldn't show any particular interest in Sirius or Remus, and spend more time playing games with the younger crowd. There was a time to continue her talk with Remus, but she was waiting. Waiting for him to grow accustomed to her presence and new personality. Obviously Fred and George kept asking her about her time in Romania and all the adventures she had had, and without fail Remus would sit somewhere within earshot. Sirius often couldn't help but ask questions so it wasn't too weird if the both of them were paying attention. No one in the house seemed to suspect she and Remus had a history.

On a warm day in July she was getting up from the table to help rinse the dishes. Molly had worked herself to a maximum again and looked like she needed a break. Alicia walked into the kitchen with a pile of plates and cutlery. One fork started to fall off.

'No, stop that. Come back- no! Oh. Thanks.' Talking to inanimate objects in the hope they would do what you wanted was as useless in the magical world as it was in the muggle one. Still, it was hard to resist. Luckily Remus had walked in and pushed the fork back.

'You seemed convinced it would listen to you. Trying a new form of verbal magic without a wand?' he joked as he also placed a pile on the counter.

'Trying, not succeeding. But one day they will listen,' she said in the same light joking tone as he was using.

'You sure about that?' he was grinning.

'I'm that kind of awesome, yes,' she proclaimed. This made him laugh out loud. She hadn't heard that sound in such a long time…it brought back memories. Memories of dinners they had shared, of evenings in bed telling each other stories, of arguing in the kitchen over cooking techniques…

He noticed the blush on her cheeks and quieted down. They both set to do the dishes. Of course this was doable with magic, but they both decided to do it the regular way. It would give them more time together.

'So I had a question about something you said today in your stories,' Remus said, breaking the silence.

'Shoot.' Her eyes were on the plate in her hand.

'You were talking about the poachers and how your boss asked if someone wanted to go undercover to catch them. You said you didn't sign up for that, but that they begged you because you were most competent. Did I understand that correctly?' he said carefully.

'So you did. Most men at the Sanctuary were already familiar faces. I was still unknown in those areas where the work needed to be done,' she explained further. She remembered one long day of hiking to a village in the mountains for a certain meeting.

'My question is this: why didn't you sign up? When I met you, you were covered in bruises because you had scammed dangerous men who were holding Occamy eggs in their pockets for trade. Why didn't you want to do it in Romania?' He had a puzzled look on his face as he looked at her.

This made her blush too. She cleared her throat and tried to sound like the answer wasn't personal. 'Despite the scars I sport, I'm actually not that reckless anymore. I learned a great deal about self-preservation.'

'From your work, you mean?' he asked.

Why did it feel like he was fishing for an answer? Well, she was going to give it anyway. 'No. From you.'

He looked a bit shocked. 'I did?'

She sighed. 'Yeah well, you were always so worried about me. At first I wondered what the fuzz was about, but after you uhh scratched me on my ankle and I got my first scar I realised that I could be damaged permanently. I lost the childlike idea of being indestructible and became more careful. This was also one of the reasons why I didn't want to join the Order with you. I…became scared.'

A silence fell. She felt like she was holding her heart in her hand, for him to see. 'Scared of dying?' he asked quietly. She nodded. He sighed and put the dishcloth aside. Then his hands were on her shoulders. She looked up at him, wondering what he would do.

'That is one more thing I didn't know. I wish I had. Being scared of dying is reason enough not to sign up for a war. I realise of course that I have pushed you too much back then…but it was also because I misunderstood your intentions. Pfff, if I could go back in time so many things…'

'Are the glasses clean again? Sirius is going to teach us a drinking game. Oh…' Fred had walked in and noticed how close Alicia and Remus were. When he was done speaking Remus had retracted his hands from her shoulders but hadn't stopped looking at her. Fred tried to see around Remus, but as he was taller this was difficult. Remus was intentionally closing him off from their intimate space.

But he wasn't the only one that looked defensive. Fred seemed ready to tug Remus around just so he could look at Alicia. She decided this wasn't worth the argument and turned around to fetch the wanted glasses.

'Here you go. Leave a place for me,' she said with a smile. Fred took the glasses hesitantly, staring at Remus' back. 'We'll just finish up the dishes,' Alicia added, hoping to send him away.

Finally he did leave. Remus was drying a glass, but his grip was so hard she was afraid it would break. She placed a hand over his and heard him exhale deeply.

'What's wrong?' she asked.

He grunted at first. 'Nothing.'

She placed her hands on her hips. 'I thought we were trying to communicate better.'

He looked at her and his angry look softened. Then he looked ashamed. 'You are right, sorry. I just…don't like the way the twins treat you. They are almost…possessive.'

Alicia let out an airy laugh. 'No one possesses me. Are you sure it is not a territorial wolf thing in your head?'

He shook his head. 'No. Well, maybe that too. But I heard Fred speak to Ron the other night about you. It set my teeth on edge.'

'Well now I'm curious. What did he say?'

He seemed reluctant to respond. He picked up another glass and rubbed it more carefully this time. 'He was bragging about the time you kissed him. He said he was sure you would come back for more one of these days.'

This made her go extremely red in the face. 'Oh.'

'So when did that happen?' he asked very casually. It sounded like he was mildly interested, but she knew he was dying to know.

'Not while I was with you,' she assured him first. He relaxed his shoulders at that. 'It was a mistake. A drunken night with too much adrenaline in my system. I…Fred has had a crush on me for a while. I knew that in school, but I never acted on it. Right around the time he was trying the most…I met you.'

This seemed to brighten his mood too. He nodded shortly.

'As for his bragging, Merlin that is embarrassing. Does he really think I'm interested?' she said exasperated.

'Are you?' he mumbled so quickly she nearly missed it.

At first she wanted to ask why that was his business. But of course it was his business. They were trying to rebuilt…something. It made sense he wanted to know her intentions. And anyway, no one should be walking around with the idea that she fancied Fred. Or George.

'No,' she stated firmly. All the dishes were washed and she dried her hands. Remus put everything in the cabinets with his wand, a hint of a smile on his face.

'I really need to talk to them. I mean him. But getting the twins separated is proving difficult,' she complained lightly.

Remus shrugged. 'I could help.'

'No, I don't think that's a good idea. Judging by how hostile his behaviour was a moment ago, I'm worried they are catching up on something. We should be careful,' she said while looking him in the eye again. Laughter was rising from the dining room. Sirius was a bad combination with the twins. Too much mischief in one house.

'Careful about?' Remus asked confused.

'About well,' she felt her cheeks warm up again. Stop that! 'About being seen together. I hardly think people will react better to it now than they would have at Hogwarts. You are still a bit older than me.'

His features moved into that familiar smirk he often did around her. That combination of mischievous intentions and sexual innuendo. A face that screamed that slogan they had chosen years ago. I solemnly swear…

Alicia had trouble breathing at seeing it again. She wondered why he was looking at her that way. Had she said anything?

'What?' she asked, feeling very exposed.

He chuckled. 'I'm just happy to hear I still have a chance.'

She gaped like a fish as he left her alone in the kitchen. Is that what she wanted? Another chance?

Maybe.