December 20 ~ Kitaly
in
"A Sleeping Shepherd"
Ciao, friends! I'm Italy Cat! I like curling up in front of the warm fireplace, and digging my claws into new woolen blankets, and batting all the Christmas balls around, (although they break sometimes and it's really scary so I have to run and hide, which sometimes becomes problematic because I am a small, small kitty cat and the humans' big feet almost step on me when I slip around on the shiny fake wood flooring. I hated when they put that in a few years ago!)
I'm the best at singing Christmas carols! My meow is so cute that all the lady kitties in the city line up to hear me sing praises to Our Lord, although I like the American ones about eating sweets as well. In the winter, my poofy tail gets even poofier to protect me from the snow. It's like I turn into a whole snowball in this kind of weather. A snowball with a cute little kitty nose and tiny softy kitty paws~ Did I mention I am a sweet, sweet kitty who just wants belly rubs and spicy candles to sniff during Christmastime?
And I always want a good place to roll around all over the floor! When the door to my human and his brother's shared villa opens, I'm always hit with the coldness from outside, and it's good to scratch my back on the rug while rolling around to get toasty. My tail slaps around and waves in front of the fire — even if it's a gas fire now — and I'm so so happy that I have to start purring and purring. Except… em, my rolling and rolling is kind of only a dream. I dream that I'm rolling around on the rug in front of the fireplace, but when I wake up, my tail is just knocking over the figures again, and I have nowhere to plop my plump and puffy little body.
The presepe is in the way.
Eh? Presepe? It's the Christmas nativity scene with the baby Jesus and a whole village of people added on to it! The scene is created by dozens of little figures — butchers, bakers, cobblers, basketweavers, ladies sewing, ladies making bread, and at the center of it all is the stable with the Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph. It's not until Christmas that the oldest person in the house gets to put the baby Jesus in the manger and complete the scene. Then we all sing together and celebrate until the sixth of January, when we put the Wise Men in the scene, too… and the nice witch Befana flies over every house in Italy on her broomstick to give us even more presents!
The presepe is very much a family tradition! In my house, we always begin setting it up early in December, building the set and digging all the figures out to place them together. Each one has its significance! But, em, the thing is, it's also a tradition to get a new figure every year, and in a family that never grows old and has every reason to celebrate Christmas in the traditional ways…
We have hundreds of presepe figures, and they're not confined to the kitchen table. They're everywhere! Streaming across the floor, being friendly on the mantle, hanging out on the couch, climbing up the stairs… there are even a few shepherds hanging out on the toilet tank, and they have to go in the cabinet whenever someone's using the facilities because shepherds see enough crap all year and they're waiting to see a miracle.
So anyway… I'm very conflicted about whether I should move some of these figures to roll around on the carpet, because they all have very specific symbolic positions, and I wouldn't remember where to put them. I am a kitty cat. I don't know too much about the infrastructure of Bethlehem. My human puts these all together. And… and… oh, this is getting so out of hand.
"EH!? VENEZIANO CAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH SLEEPING BENINO!?"
I freeze, and a shiver runs over my whole body as I drop the little shepherd. He was lying at the mouth of the enormous "cave" constructed between the legs of the dining room table. I've only moved him about a meter, but like the humans, my brother cat knows the whole set-up, and he's very strict on the placement of the characters.
He shoves his nose in my face and bats at my ears. "You can't just move Sleeping Benino when he's an integral part of the set! Why was he in your mouth? Where were you taking him?"
"I — I just wanted to move some of the figures so I could have room to roll around. It's so crowded, and it gets more crowded every year. I mean, your human curses enough as it is whenever he steps on a shepherd's crook while taking a plate of pasta to the couch. Isn't the presepe getting a little out of hand? We have enough presepi for a dozen lifetimes in this house."
Romano Cat puffs up his coat. He growls as he carries Sleeping Benito back to his original spot on the rug. Then I get a sharp whap to the face by his own floofy tail.
"The presepe is what gives Christmas its magic, Vene Cat. Yet you would rather roll around and play like we're not preparing for the arrival of our Savior. Benino sleeps because he is young and waiting anxiously for the new life to come in Christ. Don't you see how important that is!? The symbolism of youth and new awakening to the revelation brought by the angels!?"
He points with a paw to the fifty angels singing on top of the clothes dryer, all the way over in the kitchen. I give a sigh and plop down in my little circle of rug. I'm relieved it's almost Christmas. Soon I'll be completely engulfed by the tiny people.
"Maybe it would be fun if you let me put baby Jesus in the manger this year," I meow.
"I'm the oldest. I escort the holy child into the world," Romano Cat proudly purrs.
"At least, you help your human do that. He has the thumbs."
"Fine that my human does it. Would you carry the holy child in your mouth, Vene Cat?"
"But if he's pure and holy, he'll forgive being carried in my mouth, right? He won't even notice. He's only a baby."
"If he's pure and holy enough not to cry, he'll know you licked your butthole before carrying him to the crib."
"Ah, but the crib is a manger! Where the ass and ox stick their own mouths! The whole stable already smells like butthole! I am just a little kitty who is part of the scene! And it's right for a humble kitty cat to see the baby Jesus all glowing with kindness where he sleeps beneath the Virgin. And God made kitties lick their buttholes to stay clean! Wouldn't he recognize that?"
"You have got to be kidding me. Are you serious right now?"
I'm about to answer, but we both look up at my human, who's just come home from a meeting. He flings off his tan overcoat and unwraps the expensive yellow tie, then slips his shoes into their own special shoe cubicle and yawns as he lights a candle in the kitchen.
"Hey, big Italy Human! Baby Jesus doesn't care if kitty cats lick their buttholes, right?"
"You are a heretic!" Romano Cat squeals.
"Well, where do you think they got the word Cathar from? And Cataria?"
"Pataria!"
"Yeah! I remember that!"
My human stumbles over, groaning and arching his back. Then he does something incredible. Using the life-size shepherd's crook that's lying across the seat fo the couch, he kneels down on the rug and scrapes away every single figure standing there so he can collapse on his back and splay his limbs out wide.
"Romano will never give up on the presepe," he sighs. "My poor feet. I've stepped on so many figures, and there are more every year. Half his closet has to be presepe equipment."
Romano Cat is shocked by the event. Rapidly, he's fishing through the scattered figures and carrying them — in his mouth — back to their positions. Meanwhile, my human's set on sleeping in the village square, just like…
"Hey! My human is like a giant Benino! Young-looking, innocent, naive, waiting for something incredible he doesn't even realize yet!"
"Your human would let you carry baby Jesus in your butthole mouth," Romano Cat growls.
"EXACTLY!"
I pad up onto my human's body and roll around on his stomach for a bit before settling into a kitty bun on his chest.
It won't be me getting punished when Romano Cat's human comes home. I am just a little kitty cat.
~N~
Well, this one was my favorite to write. THE KITALY BROTHERS~!
Updated by Syntax-N on FanFiction . Net December 20th, 2020. Reposters cursed.