A/N: Hey y'all, hope you're having a good day!

"NO! STOP IT, PLEASE! MAKE IT ST-GAHHH!"

Donatello struggled against the metal restraints as another painful memory surged through his mind that he was once again forced to watch. This one, however, was accompanied with a painful electric shock that seized his body. This wasn't the first time he felt the painful current course through his body. The ongoing shocks had begun not too long ago, activating when a specifically painful memory was played through his mind.

As painful as it was physically, it didn't compare to the emotional pain he was struggling to control.

Five years ago. . .

Donnie stuck his tongue out as he focused hard on the circuit board he was currently repairing. Mikey had accidentally knocked over the VCR earlier that day and had shown up to Donnie's lab barely keeping his emotions contained. His tearful, puppy dog eyes were enough for Donnie to put down the project he had been previously working on. Donnie believed that there wasn't a force strong enough to refuse his baby brother's begging eyes.

From the way that the VCR looked Donnie assumed it would be a quick repair, nothing too complicated. Alas he was mistaken. Apparently the fall had been hard enough that it knocked some circuits out of place. He had no choice but to dismantle the beloved VCR, adding another project to his already growing list.

As much as he loved building, repairing, and inventing, especially when it came to his family, it was often a little stressful. His brothers would come in and out of his lab either asking for something he could create or something he could fix up for them. Donnie loved his brothers but he wished that for once instead of giving him things to do they would ask him to spend time with them or to just hang out. He never admitted it to them for fear of asking too much or seem ungrateful but it didn't stop the longingness he felt when he saw his brothers engaged in whatever new game they came up with for the day.

Donnie wiped the sweat off his brow, pushing the feelings aside. Even though he wished he could spend more time with them it's not like his brothers were ignoring them all together. Mikey often made appearances in his lab, even if he made a mess here and there. Donnie was secretly thankful for the company and the interest that his baby brother would take in whatever project he was doing. As for his oldest brother, Leo only stopped by the lab to either seek a break from the other brothers or to gush over everything space heroes related. Donnie didn't mind sci-fi but he hated that infernal cartoon. Everything about it was logically incorrect and it was overly corny. Yet, he bit his tongue when Leo went into a spiral about the show and it's main protagonist. But with Raphael. . .well he was completely different.

Honestly, Donnie didn't think much about how Raph pretty much avoided him and his lab altogether. Donnie and his immediate older brother were complete opposites in every way. Donnie was logical and quiet. Raph was temperamental and forceful. They had barely anything in common and their conversations were usually awkward or filled with Raph's taunts. There was a part of Donnie that wished him and his brother could have a better relationship but besides Raph's occasional requests for his items to be fixed, that was really it.

With a final click, Donnie placed the circuit board back to where it belonged and started to reassemble the VCR, a small smile etched onto his face as everything fit into place perfectly.

"DONNIEEEEEE!" Mikey cried as he burst through the lab's metal doors. Mikey caught sight of his older brother and immediately barreled into him.

"Mikey, what's ugh-wrong?" Donnie asked as he removed Mikey's death grip.

"I ACCIDENTALLY SNUCK INTO RAPH'S ROOM OKAY MAYBE NOT ACCIDENTALLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS BEING REALLY QUIET BUT RAPH HEARD ME AND NOW HE'S GOING TO HURT ME YOU NEED TO SAVE MEEEE!" Mikey yelled, almost too fast for Donnie to fully understand. Donnie was about to offer comfort to his little brother, a little happy that he had come to seek protection from him and not Leo but the feeling quickly departed as Donnie looked up at the doors to see Raph there.

Raphael was fuming and made the genius want to go run to his big brother to hide from the brute known as Raphael,

"MIKEY." Raph seethed. His form hunched over as his breathing grew heavier and heavier.

"Heh heh, hi Raphie. . ." Mikey whimpered, using Donnie as a shield.

"Now Raph, let's be reasonable here." Donnie said, putting his hands up in defense. "Mikey didn't mean any harm. So why don't you just take a deep breath and we can put all of this behind us, c-cool?" Donnie gulped as he nervously peered at his angry brother.

"Zip it, Dork-a-tello." Raph threatened, keeping his gaze locked on Mikey.

"C'mon Raphie. . .I promise I won't do it again." Mikey said, mustering up his most innocent smile.

"I told you if you ever went in there again I'd pound your head in." Raph seethed, cracking his knuckles disgustingly loud.

Donnie felt Mikey's hands grasp his shell tighter. As much as Donnie hated getting into a confrontation with his brothers, especially if it was Raph, he wanted to show Mikey that he could protect him just as good as Leo. Donatello may be a dork but he wasn't going to stand down.

"Just leave him alone Raphie." Donnie said, standing protectively in front of his brother.

"Oh yeah, and what're you going to do about it?" Raph almost laughed.

"Well, I-uh-I. . ." Donnie stuttered.

"That's what I thought, nerd." Raph grunted, inching closer and closer to Donnie and Mikey.

"I-I mean it R-Raph!" Donnie's voice broke, his goal to sound threatening failing with every attempt to push away his older brother.

"Then prove it."

"W-what?" Donnie gaped.

"Take me down, and I'll forget about what Mikey did, geek." Raph smirked, crossing his arms.

Donnie fixated his eyes on his brother, though, Donnie was beginning to grow taller, it didn't help at all that Raph was practically built with muscles. Donnie overlooked his own. His thin form would be no match, especially without the use of his weapon, not that his bo would actually increase his odds. He could feel his body shake, he wanted so badly to call it quits. . .

"Donnie, you don't have to do this for me, it's okay." He heard Mikey whisper. Donnie turned to his little brother and for a moment he could feel his fear slipped away. He didn't want to abandon Mikey and leave him to face Raph. No, Donnie wanted to prove to his little brother that he could protect him.

Donnie gave Mikey's head a reassuring pat before turning his attention back to Raph. He shook in his stance but tried to keep up a tough exterior.

"This'll be fun."

The fight that followed was short lived. Donnie had gone down in less than ten seconds. He was bruised and beaten by the end and out of breath. He always hated sparring sessions with Raph but he always liked to think that when it mattered he could stand a somewhat chance against his brother. Raph had snickered over at Donnie as the younger brother rose from the ground.

"Still think you can take me on?" Raph gloated.

"L-lucky shot." Donnie stuttered, wiping blood from his lip, and holding his bruised arm close.

"Pfft. You wish. You were as pathetic as your puny little stick you call a weapon!" Raph retaliated. His anger grew with each passing second.

"Pathetic. . ."

"Ya know maybe if you actually practiced training instead of being a useless dork you could beat me."

"I'm n-not a dork!" Donnie croaked, tears began forming in eyes against his will. He turned his head away from his brother at an attempt to hide them away. An attempt that failed.

"Aw are ya gonna cry? Little sensitive Donatello can't take a little teasing. And here I thought Mikey was the crybaby." Raph scoffed.

"You're even weaker than Mikey."

"Weak. . ."

"Why don't you do something useful for once."

"Useless."

"Nothing but a failure."

"Make it stop. . .please make it stop. . ." Donnie cried softly, his head against his chest as the hurtful memory played through his mind once again. He could do nothing but see and hear the painful exchange of words from his immediate older brother. His voice rang clear through Donnie's ears. The words cutting like a blade with each passing.

It didn't help that there was another voice adding to the ridicule he was already forced to watch. It slithered in his mind, cold and emotionless. He could never find the time to analyze the voice but it had become stronger and stronger with each viewing memory. Whether it was the same memory or a different one, it was always there to reinforce his brothers' words.

Three weeks. For the past three weeks Donnie was involuntarily admitted into a routine that he quickly memorized but despised with every fiber of his being. The first twelve hours of the day were spent watching and rewatching memories of his past. They ranged from his childhood years to days not long before his capture. There were memories he barely remembered but had been stored deep into his psyche. These memories would be played back to back, over and over again in the span of half a day, sometimes even longer from Donnie's past predictions. In the beginning, Donnie thought he would get used to the torment. It was definitely an unusual form of torture but he had ideas on how he could ignore the rancid thoughts and keep his emotional self from slipping.

The saying 'it's easier said than done' really stuck. He accepted the torture with full confidence that he could take it but he really didn't expect it to be so painfully harsh. Not to mention, during all these memories his head always hurt like shell. It wasn't an extremely bad headache as he had when he first arrived but the pain always resided with him. It made trying to keep his emotions in check a lot more. . .difficult

The first memories he witnessed were from his first year on the surface. They ranged from metalhead, to his beatdown by Rockwell, to Raph calling him sadorable. The moments were plenty painful and heart crushing when he experienced them firsthand as he witnessed them again they felt even more excruciating. Not only were his emotions hit with full force but he could feel the torment physically. He didn't know if the physical pain was his imagination or from an outside force. Wherever it came from it was certainly doing a good job at keeping his mind distracted so to speak.

With each passing day, the words, the pain, it was all seeping through Donnie's tightly knit barrier. As for what the other half of his day was like. . .it was no better than the first.

After the loop of memories the helmet would shut off, leaving Donnie encased in a void of darkness. No light oozed through the helmet. For the first few days, having no sign of visitors, Donnie feared for his health. He knew the average person couldn't sit for long periods of time and could only go so long without both food and water. He believed there was an IV tube embedded in one of his veins but that didn't mean it could keep his body hydrated forever. He worried about the blood circulation from the tight restraints. If they kept him as he was for even a week Donnie knew it could result in near permanent damage.

Fortunately, his captors were a little thoughtful. After every few days someone would come in and blindly feed him bread and bits of meat. He wasn't convinced that what he was being fed was completely clean but his stomach demanded nutrition. It was humiliating to be fed as well as having to drink from bottles of water. However, Donnie found that the person doing this was always gentle. They never spoke but they didn't treat him roughly. Sometimes, they would release his limbs, of course that was after he was sedated with a drug so he could never really move but still. They would treat the burns that gathered on his wrist and would even remove the helmet for a short period of time. Whoever the person was, they were the small kindness that Donnie deeply appreciated in his grim world.

Besides the small treatment he would receive, the rest of his time that was spent in darkness did nothing to ease his mind. The haunting silence awakened his thoughts. It allowed the inside voices in his mind to become more outspoken. The unkind and harsh words that were repeated in his head would repeat just as easily without the viewing of said words. His mind would play against him, making him second guess the truth behind such words.

Him and his brothers often teased each other with rude remarks, especially during a serious situation where everyone was stressing out. It was nothing unusual. They were brothers after all. Poking fun at one another was all a traditional thing that siblings were known to do.

Up till now, any rude remark Donnie heard, he pushed them away with his emotions. Yet, now that he was constantly hearing them, over and over again, he wondered just how much his brothers meant the cruel words.

Without his brothers' reassurance, along with the cold feeling that emanated around him, Donnie couldn't help but feel so alone in his confinement. He tried meditation but he could never simmer down his mind enough to practice the art. He tried filling his head with complex equations, thinking that finding solutions would grant him more peace. He would often think of scenarios where his brothers would come bursting through the doors, engulfing him in open, warm arms, ready to save him. Though, the hours ticked by and the days ended. Leaving the feeling of aloneness sting all the more.

The only person that Donnie knew in the unfamiliar surroundings was Osamu.

Donnie's feelings for the man were always changing. At first, Donnie made it clear that he despised the man. Osamu had attacked him and his brother and forced their family apart. How could he ever trust, let alone stand someone who would do that?

Then again. . .

The other side of Donnie could understand to some agree what the guy was trying to tell him. Donnie didn't know how exactly Osamu was forcing him to relive the terrors of his past but a small portion of him could see the result that Osamu was aiming for.

He hated to admit it. He wanted nothing more than to scoff at the torture.

But that little voice in his head forbade it.

It soaked up the words every time they rang.

Moments that he hadn't even seen from the device appeared in his nightmares.

Nightmares that were always there, haunting him. Never allowing him to ever fully rest.

It was like his mind was slowly turning into a fog.

And Donnie saw no way out. . .

"Is the turtle ready for the next memory?" Osamu asked the scientist, looking over at the monitor that showed Donatello's vitals and brain waves.

"But Osamu, he hasn't had his twelve hour rest yet. He's barely had half of that." Katsumi interrupted from the sidelines, seating behind the two men. Every day Katsumi would ask kindly if the turtle would be removed but since Donatello was making little progress in Osamu's plan, the answer was clear.

She didn't know how to feel about seeing the terrapin suffer. She was never present for the full moments where the turtle would be forced to watch his cruel memories like a sick movie but when she did catch glimpses, they were always so painful to watch. She couldn't imagine how hard it would be to endure such pain.

"He's not where he should be. He still is showing emotional signs that he trusts his older siblings. By the reactions we've been getting from his memories with Raphael, it's safe to assume that the bond is weakening, yet he still clings to Leonardo."

"Are you sure that's the right thing to do?" Katsumi asked, uncertain.

Osamu groaned, turning towards his friend. "Katsumi, I told you when we started that I need your trust on this. I uniformed you that my methods aren't going to be clean but they're necessary." Osamu stated, turning back towards the scientist.

Osamu himself knew that what he was putting Donatello through was rough. Really rough. When he had brought the turtle in a friend of his had given him a special drug that was illegal in many areas. The drug had the power to weaken a person's mind to a dangerous extent. It could make the user completely vulnerable and lack any means of complex thinking. It was perfect. He started Donatello off with an almost fatal dosage. He wanted Donatello to be completely vulnerable during the first days of the torture. Over the course of the week he started to gradually wear off. He didn't want the mutant to suffer any permanent damage nor did he want him to become suspicious.

He knew that in order for Donatello to feel the full extent of the abuse from his family, a physical variable was needed. During moments where Donnie was engaged in a fight or sparring match with his brothers, Osamu would bring in a ninja that would repeat the same blows that Donnie faced from the memory. The would be simple kicks and punches, not lasting forever. Opposing the drug, the beating would worsen from time to time. After a while, Osamu could see from Donatello's exterior that the physical wounds were taking their toll.

With memories that didn't involve physical fights, during the ones where there were arguments and harsh words spoken, a shock would be transmitted from the device attached to the chair to Donatello's body. Every time his brother spoke a harsh word, Donatello received a shock. Likewise with the physical abuse, the shocks gradually increased, making each word more cruel and ruthless than the last.

Secondly, besides the necessary contact, he wanted Donatello to face a silent and dark environment after said torture. He would be completely alone with his silent thoughts. With the turtle's combination of complex thinking and sensitive heart, the dark abyss he created would serve its purpose.

Donatello would have no choice but to hear his thoughts as they circled endlessly through his mind. Turning reality into a nightmare and nightmare into reality.

These last couple of days Osamu focused a majority of the memories on Raphael. He found many instances where the turtle in red carelessly threw insults at the genius turtle, seemingly ignoring the possibility of his words hurting. Throughout the years the insults grew, storing away in the confinements of Donatello's walls. Yet, the walls weren't strong enough to keep Osamu out.

As he saw the bond weaken and weaken, he knew he needed to move on to Leonardo quickly. If Donatello's bond with Raphael was shattered, the turtle would no doubt hide behind Leonardo's shell so to speak. He would rely heavily on his oldest brother, making it harder for Osamu to get through the close bond. That's why a different approach was needed. The ninja saw that if he was able to shatter both relationships at the same time, Donatello would have nowhere to hide. His trust in his big brothers to protect him would be no more, leaving an even more vulnerable turtle in its stead.

As for Michelangelo. . .

Osamu couldn't underestimate the strong relationship that clearly resided in the youngest sibling. With Michelangelo being Donatello's only little brother, along with Donatello's best friend, that relationship would be harder to deal with. He knew he had to be smart about it. He couldn't just start showing harsh memories as he was doing with the older brothers. Besides, there weren't as many memories as he hoped. He wasn't sure exactly what he needed to do, it was more of a 'cross that bridge when we get there' idea. Osamu would find something though. He knew he would.

But with Donatello's human friends, finding painful scenarios was simple and easy. The love of the turtle's life had actually murdered, or in scientific terms, molecularly scattered the mutant across the vast city of New York. Casey Jones was the turtle's rival for the affections of said girl. For Karai, there were multiple situations where the girl nearly killed both him and his family. The allies would be an easy breakup.

All that was left was Donatello's sensei. For that, Osamu wouldn't have any memories. He wouldn't force the turtle to do anything against his father. It was simply all a part of his plan. . .

"Your friend is correct, Donatello should have a longer break but he's in a stable enough condition where you can play another memory." The scientist interrupted.

"Wonderful." Osamu said.

After careful consideration, Osamu found the perfect moment. One that would surely bring about Donatello's insecurities.

"Donnie you know how much this means to Sensei." Leonardo persisted with the already agitated turtle. Donatello was suffering from one too many all-nighters and was desperately trying to relieve his body from the high amount of stress he was dealing with.

"Leo, I'm trying as hard as I can." Donnie pleaded. His exhausted tone matching his slouching form. For the past week Donnie tried after each failure to produce a serum for Karai that would release the teen from the brainworm Shredder had implanted. Like his efforts with the special retromutagen he had tried to create, nothing was adding up. Every new experiment made him as unsure as the last. He thought for once that he finally had it. Mikey had gathered his family to his lab just for them all to witness another failure and Donnie's pathetic blow out. Splinter's seemingly comforting words did nothing but evoke strong feelings of guilt.

'I know how hard you have tried, Donatello. Some things are just not meant to be. . .'

Donnie hoped that maybe with a little rest, perhaps some nutrition he could look back at his notes for a possible mistake that he may have made. Though, that's not how Leo saw things.

"Well, try harder!"

A shock hit Donatello as the force of Leonardo's voice was increased. The turtle seethed in agony, screaming out from both the mental and physical pain.

Osamu grabbed the microphone that was linked to Donatello's headset. Another bond, another crack.

For after almost a month of what seemed like a dead end Osamu could feel the tide turning ever so slightly, in his favor. . .

A/N: Whatcha guys think? Lmk!

See you next week. . .