If I Could Say What I Want To Say

by silverliningingold

Two samurai, both incredibly stubborn and endearingly foolish, fall in love... with each other. (Because sometimes trouble can attract the good kind of trouble, too.) {Slow Burn - the slowest, sweetest and burniest}

8. Chapter 8

a/n: This is the longest chapter I have written yet! And I kind of like it? p.s. I suck at writing fighting scenes so… I'm sorry about the ones in this chapter and you've all been warned….?

. . .

---

Chapter 8: When Trying To Conquer A PLanet Don't Underestimate Its Fighters

---

Today was expected to be busy, given that it started with the raid.

They had finished organizing just the day before, after getting back the Shinsengumi held one last meeting about it in which they set to work on the remaining details and went through the motions, over and over again, no margin of error was to be allowed. At least, this was the plan.

Hijikata had not wanted to think about certain events that had taken place just hours prior, losing himself in the job seemed a much more productive (safer) way to engage his time. Even after the careful study of the detailed plan, the all around tension was palpable and for some reason Hijikata had the short end of the stick, being on edge seemed to be a new habit for him.

It had been a direct order from their Commander to get a full night's sleep, and be well rested and on their top form to tackle what awaited them the next day… and yet, unfortunately for him, sleep wasn't a luxury Hijikata could seem to afford these days. After tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling for hours on end, trying to keep his mind off of anything that didn't fall in the category of his work, he had finally come to the conclusion that enough was enough. A little more training could only do him good.

He trained outside with his trusted sword, kept going until the sky coloured from a deep dark blue to an azure pallor and the clouds tinted in shades of golden and fading red with the changing light.

"Don't you think that's enough already?"

His friend's voice caught him off guard. Hijikata's head whipped to the side, only to see Kondo on the porch, leaning on the threshold of the half slid door with his arms crossed, watching him.

"Weren't you the one who told us 'Enough is never enough?' That we should never settle, but always strive for more?" Hijikata asked back with a little smirk hanging by the corner of his mouth, some of the tension rolling off of his shoulders.

Kondo barked out a genuine laugh. "Don't take my words out of context, Toshi. No one should work themselves to extremes."

"…I'm not." Hijikata muttered, somewhat petulantly (and of course he would deny doing so to his grave).

"Good, you shouldn't overexert yourself." Kondo nodded, the smile clearly showing through his words. Although he knew Hijikata was conscious enough to know his limits (even if at times he pushed himself harder than anyone else, worrying the people who cared about him), a friend could never really be (over)protective enough.

"Don't worry, Kondo-San, I won't." Hijikata reassured, words cut by another slash of his sword to the thin air.

"How long have you been up?"

He took one second for himself to think. "For some time now." Technically this was no lie… even if he had no real idea how many hours had gone by since he had dinner the night before. "What about you?" He changed the subject before the Commander could pry any further and find out.

At Kondo's resulting laughter, Hijikata knew he apparently wasn't the only to have had a close call with insomnia that night. "Ahah, busted! I have to admit I was too excited for today. Just imagine Toshi, not only will we get to save the city, but… Otae-Chan will be so happy she'll fall right into my arms!"

.

.

.

~ Kondo's fantasy (embellished by 153%) ~ :

Somewhere in a far away and beautiful land, miles and miles of green and sparkly grass extended, seemingly never ending. The sky seemed to be shining in azure, spotless and magic.

Otae and Kondo were running towards each other. In slow motion.

"Otaee-Chaaaaan!"

"Kondo-San!"

Their voices echoed in the field as they finally came to a halt one in front of the other, ending their run with a loving embrace.

"I knew you could do it. You saved us all… my hero." Otae whispered with shy reverence, averting her gaze as her cheeks tinged red.

"Heh, of course." Kondo said with the resolution only a hero out of a fairy tale could possess. "Fighting the fiercest of dragons is nothing if I can keep you safe, my princess."

They gazed into each other's eyes lovingly, strands of chocolate air flying in the air.

Needless to say, Kondo had been beautified by 265% in his fantasy, too.

Ever so slowly, they neared the distance between them, eyes fluttering shut until-

~ End of Kondo's fantasy ~

.

.

.

"Ahahahah, wouldn't that be awesome, Toshi!" Kondo exclaimed as he supported himself with a hand on the threshold, as if the fantasy was somehow too intense for him to keep upright, while he dreamily stared off into space with a fierce blush taking over his face. (a/n: haha rhyme)

Hijikata deadpanned.

It was his typical Commander. Of course all he would think about was impress the woman whose strength Hijikata was fairly sure exceeded most of the Shinsengumi's men. He wondered if she knew what was going through Kondo's head right now how would she react… but he was no one to disillusion his dear friend and make him land in the reality of… 'unrequited love'? Could it even be called that? Well, whatever, he would let him think what he wanted, at least in his fantasies Kondo wasn't beaten to a pulp.

"…If you say so, Kondo-San." Hijikata only added, keeping up with his training for a while longer.

Once Kondo had apparently gotten a hold of himself, which had not exactly been easy, he straightened up and called to him. "C'mon, Toshi, it's about time we wake up everyone else too."

Hijikata didn't really want to put an end to his 'morning exercise', it was relaxing in a way nothing else was and could put his mind at ease in a way not much else could. But he did need a shower, and he was starting to feel the first bites of hunger and, well- his job came before anything else.

"Alright." He agreed in the end, albeit reluctantly, and with his loyal sword cut the air in half one last time.

---

The illegal trade would take place in an abandoned warehouse, right on the outskirts of town. The ride to get there lasted no more than an hour, even if it felt much less. Maybe due to the anticipation. Since the exchange would come to be about two hours later, they had plenty of time to set cameras and microphones throughout the deserted deposit to record the event and find strategic spots to hide.

And when everything was set in motion, all there was left to do was… wait.

---

The Yorozuya trio currently found themselves at the Shimura's household.

Just yesterday Kagura had insisted to go and see her Anego and bring her some dango too, so they had fetched Sadaharu and were soon on their way to Otae. After spending a 'fun' time there- which had somehow turned into a wrestling contest out of nowhere and Gintoki, lying on his back and with forearms locked around his throat, cutting off his air supply, had found himself cursing Kagura and Otae's strength for the millionth time- the afternoon had soon turned to evening and Otae offered them dinner, too.

They tried to decline as politely as they could, Shinpachi, Gintoki and Kagura being scared out of their wits, but Otae had been the one to insist, and the Yorozuya trio, still scared out of their wits, had instead offered to be the ones to cook up a 'special' dinner, letting her know she could simply relax and kick back after a tiring day at work, too afraid of the prospect of being fed poison. And after the meal, which they had surprisingly survived, Kagura had not wanted to leave, Sadaharu had been sound asleep already, along with Shinpachi, and Otae offered them to spend the night too, which Gintoki saw no reason to refuse.

Now, however, with the morning making itself blindingly known by the rays streaming in through every window and opened door, invading every curtainless room, Gintoki was… already up. Even if it was far too soon for him- and it was all because he had not been able to sleep, at all. But after what had taken place the day before he just couldn't find a way to unwind.

.

.

.

~ Flashback ~

In the midst of another one of the trio's lazy strolls they had taken the impromptu decision to stop by a dango stand, since they had nothing better to do at the moment, and Gintoki never did say no to food, Kagura following right in his footsteps.

But Gintoki had been shocked to see that they had not been the only ones to have this idea, seeing as two very familiar faces had preceded them here.

The brats had not wasted any time in cooking up a storm as soon as they saw each other, but Gintoki had not exactly been focused on them, what had captured his attention was… something (someone) else.

After tuning back in –when had he even tuned out?- he saw the Vice-Commander avoiding a rock-like-missile that Kagura had aimed at Soichiro-Kun, and their eyes met. Gintoki, after a moment, had broken the eye contact off, trying to be as careful as he could in looking at anywhere else, at anything else but him. It wasn't even calculated, nothing but a simple and spontaneous reaction after the day's previous events came flashing into his mind- because, seeing him here right now… he had not expected this, and didn't exactly know how to act now.

He could still feel the ghost of his touch, leaving a warm trail in his palm and suddenly Gintoki's hand was burning hot.

Almost on auto-pilot he had busied himself with the task of placing their order, hoping his face wasn't as red as he imagined it to be. No, he wasn't blushing dammit! The day was just... a hot and humid one… and, alright, maybe the sky was an array of gray clouds, with a nice breeze blowing by every now and then, but Gintoki did feel hot in his skin.

Once inside the small stand he found a nice old lady who he gave his order to, decideding to loiter by and chat with her instead of immediately taking his leave and… finding a certain someone outside. He'd rather avoid awkward conversations where he could. Which led him to find out that the nice old lady's name was Sakura, that this was a family activity, that the woman and her husband had moved here almost a lifetime ago and that her husband's life-long passion was cooking. Also, their register was apparently broken as she kindly asked him if he could take out another other order along his own while she tried to fix it.

And as much as Gintoki could be a jerk sometimes (just a bit though, he had a kind soul), and as much as he didn't like the idea of bringing food to the tax robbers, seeing the old lady's frown made him suck up his annoyance (or insecurity, perhaps?), because he was still the Yorozuya's leader and it was actually in his job description to help people, and he might as well be damned if he didn't do a favour to a nice couple of elderly, everyone knew old people usually spent a lifetime worrying, so they deserved to just take it easy and be happy. Plus, the nice old woman had the same name as one of the characters from Naruto and hey, heroes should always help each other out, honestly though, he just hoped her husband wasn't anything like Sasuke.

He balanced the plates filled with dango on both of his arms as he decided to help (Sakura-San did tell him he could take out a few at a time, but Gintoki replied that he was a superhero and he could do anything, and it had made her laugh which made him feel more at ease already). Carefully, he made his way to the bench, calling out to Kagura and Sougo who had been locked in a brawl, and just in time it seemed because they were about to cause some pretty serious damage. What could he say, he liked this place and didn't want it to be destroyed by the brats. The kids immediately ceased their 'bickering' once they zeroed in on the food, now fighting for whoever got a bite first, and soon everyone started digging in.

Everyone except Hijikata, who was just staring at the scene. He looked surprised, and Gintoki was curious what the surprise was about, maybe because they had met again so soon, maybe something else entirely. Almost unconsciously he opened his mouth, ready to say something, but then Hijikata's phone started ringing all of a sudden and Gintoki snapped his mouth shut, the words locked in his throat. The Vice-Commander left to answer the call and he watched him almost transfixed, memories of the past days floating inside his head.

"Gin-Chan, I want his dango too." Kagura said between a whine and a plea as she made grabby hands toward the plate.

"Mmh?" Gintoki hummed absent-mindedly, finally peeling his eyes away from Hijikata's retreating back.

"Mayora's stupid dango." She clarified with a pout.

"Kagura-Chan, don't be rude." Shinpachi chided beside her. "And you can't eat Hijikata-San's portion."

"Nah, I agree with her on this, she's free to call Hijikata-San stupid as much as she wants. But these-" Sougo cut in as he swept the plate from the bench before the little Yato could do anything. "-they're mine."

"Nooo! Gin-Chaaaan!" Kagura screeched in horror as she pointed at the traitor who had taken her (Hijikata's) precious snack, pleading for her guardian's help now.

Gintoki patted her head to calm her, having already witnessed just how hungry and restless she could get on sunny days, because even if today was cloudy so far the past week had been fairly hot, the sunlight had probably taken its toll on her.

"Better to leave the moron's ones, who knows what he'll do once he gets back and finds his plate empty." He diverted her attention as he took one of his dango sticks and gave it to her. "Here."

Kagura's eyes sparkled, snatching the inviting snack and munching on it happily as she rubbed the top of her head on Gintoki's shoulder in gratitude, much like Sadaharu sometimes did. Shinpachi, who was watching the scene with a smile, also offered one of his sticks to her. Kagura was eating excitedly now and contently twirling her umbrella in her free hand.

Hijikata had yet to come back though and Gintoki thought if he didn't make it in the next couple of minutes he could kiss his dango goodbye, no matter if Kagura was temporarily placated for now, she would soon start again. Uttering an excuse, he made up his mind and stood up, the kids didn't even seem to register it as they were too busy bickering between themselves, again.

As he neared the alleyway to where he'd seen Hijikata disappear to, he overheard bits and pieces of the conversation first. And next found him near the wall, posture relaxed, listening to whatever he was being told on the other side of the line.

And in the moment, just like this, Gintoki thought that Hijikata looked… nice.

'…Woah-oh-ho! Hold up! What the hell am I thinking?! No, no, no, absolutely not! He doesn't look nice at all! He looks- ugly! Yeah! And stupid! Just like always! Shit, shit, shit, this weather is starting to affect me too now!' He quickly shook his head to dispel the weirdness that had unexpectedly taken over his brain.

A sudden noise cut off his thoughts, and his attention was quickly turned towards… something smashing? It took him a few seconds to realize the sound had come from Hijikata's phone and a slight pang of curiosity hit him, unaware that now he was paying close attention.

He had his answer when Hijikata sighed out. "Kondo-San... are you bothering that woman again?"

Gintoki bit back on a sigh of his own. Of course the Gorilla would be bothering Otae now. Although from the loud noises even he could hear, he wondered who of the two deserved his pity more.

He saw Hijikata staring up at the sky, now a gray line between the two buildings, shaking his head to himself. Gintoki wondered if he too was imagining what was happening on the other side of the phone.

He could barely make out what was being said, the Commander's voice sounded fairly panicked, and he saw Hijikata deadpan, only to mutter. "Kondo-San, are you still alive?"

Gintoki almost snorted, barely keeping it in. Something about the words coupled with Hijikata's expression made the situation sound funny, somehow.

Out of the blue Hijikata tore the phone away from his ear and Gintoki drew back too, slightly flinching at the static voice that almost tore apart their eardrums. A while passed before Hijikata apparently deemed it safe enough to keep the phone close to his ear and speak into it again, and Gintoki thought that out of the two Kondo was most definitely the one who deserved his pity right now. But Hijikata's next words made him focus 100% again.

"Don't worry Kondo-San, we were just finishing our rounds, we're on our way. But with all the training and research we've done these past few weeks I'm sure everything will go according to plan tomorrow. And-" Hijikata paused, as if contemplating something, clicking his tongue before following up with. "-and you're being beaten to death."

Gintoki did snort this time, quietly, hiding his mouth behind his forearm. Not that the thought of someone being beaten to death was particularly funny (even if Kondo had been the one looking for trouble when he went bothering Otae in the first place), but there was just something about Hijikata delivering the words so seriously while at the same time managing to sound so unimpressed that got to Gintoki. Hah, who knew that the Vice-Commander could even be so… well, at the moment he couldn't really seem to find a word to describe him.

The resulting squeak of Kondo's voice didn't leave much to the imagination of neither Hijikata, nor Gintoki. Which was why Hijikata said next, "When you're talking about a battle while you are visiting the... 'woman of your dreams-'" His face distorted for a split-second in what appeared to be a grimace and Gintoki agreed with his facial expression, Hijikata probably found it weird to refer to Otae as such. But knowing the Gorilla, this was most definitely what he called her around his friends. "-then there is something supposedly wrong." Well, Gintoki could more or less agree with his words too.

He was slightly caught off guard when he heard the Commander's voice next, this time loud and clear as it filtered through the receiver, and much more serious too. "Toshi." He began, and the gravity in his tone made him want to keep listening all the more, wanting to find out if this was one of Kondo's 'golden wisdom' moments, wondering just what he could say- "Nothing can be deemed as wrong in this battle we call… love."

Gintoki deadpanned.

Somehow when he himself was the one spouting these kind of lines, be them cheesy or sappy or downright ridiculous, it was always fine. But when someone else did, it sort of made him want to whack them across the head and tell them to shove it. Hijikata's pinched expression seemed to convey just how done he was too, though he didn't say much of anything at first, only to mutter in the end, "Whatever you say." Gintoki wondered if Hijikata didn't tell him off because of their friendship, though he himself knew he would give Zura hell if their situations had been reversed.

They talked a bit more after that, with Hijikata making sure Kondo was still alive, and then they hung up with the promise of seeing each other soon. The man pocketed his phone and closed his eyes, putting more of his weight on the wall as he seemingly took a moment for himself.

Gintoki noticed how he seemed so… at ease. He had to admit that he didn't remember when he had last seen Hijikata look so relaxed, as if in the moment nothing inside this world could bother him.

His mind went in overdrive even if he couldn't take his eyes off the scene in front of him, thinking back to what he had just heard- only now was he noticing how he'd actually stayed to listen in to a conversation he probably should have not? oh, was invasion of privacy a very bad thing if it happened to be only over a phone call? should he be worried about this?- and piecing the words together. Apparently tomorrow was presumed to be one busy day in the Shinsengumi's schedule. He was reminded of the day at the barracks, certain that Sougo had mentioned something of the like, something about a raid maybe. Huh, this must be it.

Gintoki didn't want to disturb the Vice-Commander now that he was wearing such a peaceful expression. And not because he looked nice like this - absolutely not- but simply because the man was quiet for once and wasn't pestering him with his stupid rules and orders. Yes, this was definitely the reason, definitely. But if Hijikata still felt like eating something he would have to pay his money for it was better to warn him sooner, rather than later when Kagura had devoured his plate too.

"Your dango is either going to get cold or eaten if you waste any more time here." Gintoki finally spoke, voice low enough for it to almost be a whisper.

Hijikata startled, eyes snapping open, completely unaware of his presence until that point, and Gintoki felt only a sliiight pang of what might be considered guilt, which he proceeded to trample on and ignore.

The Vice-Commander was quick to recover, and even quicker to look for a cigarette, putting the white stick in his mouth once he lit it, inhaling deeply as if to get rid of the nerves. Gintoki couldn't quite put his finger on it, but… something felt off.

For starters, Hijikata looked irritated. Well, more so than usual. He was also giving off an angered sort of aura. Gintoki couldn't quite understand why though, could this possibly be his fault? But he hadn't done anything wrong, right? And the last time they had seen each other, only the other day, he didn't seem to be particularly angry, not at him at least.

Pride was something Hijikata held dear, he was well aware of this fact, and with Zura somehow 'helping' the Shinsengumi… safe to say his pride had probably not come out unscathed. But from what he could remember the others didn't truly seem to mind, Zura had even told him that he and Kondo had found themselves in a 'co-operation' at one point during their 'special mission', deciding to call a temporary truce and call it a tie. But then, what was this about? Had something else happened yesterday?

…Not-Not that Gintoki was concerned for the moron or anything.

"And what's that to you?" Hijikata finally asked, voice almost disdainful with a hint of frustration seeping in.

Well, alright, if his tone was any indication then something was definitely bothering him.

"Nothing." Gintoki answered the truth, trying to keep his own voice and expression as neutral and natural as possible, not wanting to appear concerned for the idiot or anything of the sort, even throwing a shrug into the mix. "Just thought I'd give you a heads up before Kagura ends up devouring your treat." Although, to be completely honest, he didn't particularly care about the dango at the moment, he was more interested in the other man's bad mood.

"Doesn't matter. We're going anyway." Hijikata said dismissively.

But Gintoki's brain was still whirring around on the matter. Maybe the call had upset him? No, it couldn't be, he had looked so calm when speaking with Kondo. But what was it then? Hijikata was about to leave and a piercing sensation of discomfort struck him, as if needles were prickling his skin, and made him blurt out the first thing that came to mind.

"Tomorrow's gonna be a big day, huh?" Gintoki tried to pass it off as casual, but fragments of curiosity and concern blended in his voice.

What he had overlooked by a mile was how this could have apparently been the wrong thing to say, because it seemed to only aggravate Hijikata further and replace his indifference with fury. "That's none of your business! How much did you hear? It's illegal to listen to other people talking on the phone!"

…Oh, turns out he might really be the cause of the Vice-Commander's rage- but Gintoki hadn't done anything! Actually, he had just tried to be nice to the idiot for a change and look where that had gotten him!

"Oi, oi, don't accuse me of something I didn't do! I was just coming here to warn you about your food, like any decent person would do and I ended up catching a bit of your conversation. By the way, I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to unconciously overhear people talking on the phone!" He was quick to defend himself, for once completely serious.

"It is when it involves the police! And why would it even bother you what happens to my food? Your kid with the monstrous stomach or Sougo were gonna eat it anyway!"

It was true, at this point Gintoki didn't care about the dango anymore. What was bothering him now was something else, coiling inside the pit of his stomach and burning.

"Now move, I have to go!"

Hijikata was about to leave but he wanted to stop him, he had to.

"Wait!" Almost doing so without thinking he grabbed his arm, the action bringing a strange sense of deja-vù with it.

"No! Let go!" Hijikata tried to dislodge the hold but Gintoki didn't want to let go, not yet.

"Moron!"

"Idiot!"

He had to stop him somehow, so when Hijikata yanked his arm out of his grasp, Gintoki was quick to move and get a firmer grip around him.

"I said wait!"

Until he pushed Hijikata against the wall. The cigarette fell out of his lips in the process of Gintoki trapping him in place, hands on each side of his head. It didn't matter how much Hijikata fought back, he was determined to make him stay. The other samurai struggled for some time, but when it was clear Gintoki wasn't letting up he settled for fixing him with an indignant glare.

And it was strange how, in this precise moment, Gintoki noticed just how blue Hijikata's eyes were. It wasn't as if he had never seen them before, but he had probably never paid that much attention. Not until now at least.

His eyes were… mesmerizing.

To the point where Gintoki thought that maybe, just maybe, if Hijikata let him, he could even drown a little in them…

And, yes, this was really strange to think about. But, he just couldn't help it as he found himself so up close to him. This was probably the right moment to pay attention to his facial expression, too, only to find the Vice-Commander shooting daggers at him with his eyes. It might also be the right moment to be reminded of just why he had stopped him in the first place.

"What's gotten into you?" Gintoki finally asked, his own voice surprising him as it came out calmer than he expected. He didn't even notice how his heart started beating faster because all he could think about was what he had done wrong and if he could maybe, possibly find a way to fix it.

It seemed that another great realization to have in this moment was how it only occurred to him now that instead of pissing Hijikata off, like he usually did, he actually wanted to do something nice for him.

"Go away already!" The other samurai snapped at him, but Gintoki wouldn't. He only moved closer instead, making sure the man wouldn't just make a run for it.

And, oh, the dango wasn't what smelt good anymore. Somehow Hijikata's scent instantly brought him back to the day before, when they had been so close, his face against his shoulder.

An unexpected shiver raced down his spine.

"No." His voice was so quiet he practically murmured the word, but his tone remained firm. He wanted an explanation first, then he would let go.

Gintoki could feel the warmth radiating from Hijikata's body being so close, and he had to try his best to keep his hands right where they were because, yet again, he had this strange urge to touch him. And, he had no clue why whatsoever, he also wanted to… help him? Comfort him? Just something, anything that would wipe the anger off his face.

But Hijikata suddenly seemed to retreat into himself, his expression closing off completely and Gintoki could feel uncomfortable goosebumps break all over his skin at the change. He shifted closer, unconsciously, unaware that he was now properly getting concerned.

"…Let go." Hijikata uttered finally. The anger in his tone dissipated to an almost undetectable allusion of it, but the way he sounded was so… uncertain. It didn't sit right with him.

Since he had known him, the man had always been surrounded by an aura of certainty and self-assuredness that was hard to possess if one wasn't one-hundred percent confident in their own actions. And, as endlessly annoying as that was for Gintoki, it was also one quality that people (read: he) tended to admire in a person.

But now instead, having him like this… it felt so destabilizing in a way that couldn't be anything if not unmistakably wrong.

He found himself wanting to erase this insecurity off his voice, so he started by erasing the distance between them, by just a few millimeters because if he got any closer he thought he might do something he would come to regret later. Even if Hijikata wasn't directly looking at him, Gintoki was sure he could still feel the distance narrowing down.

Then, in a soft voice he'd rarely ever heard come out of his own mouth, Gintoki whispered, "Not until you tell me what's going on with you." All of a sudden he was so adamant to know.

Hijikata's eyes darkened, his face showing how torn he was getting over his questions, so much he almost looked as if the simple words caused him pain, and to hell with his own pride, Gintoki was almost on the brink of desperation with how much he wanted to ease him out of this weight, with how badly he wanted to help.

But before he could really be of any help, he watched the change take form in front of his eyes. The sliver of openness and incertitude that had come with Gintoki's question vanished, morphing into steel apathy. Hijikata's eyes found his once more, but they were so cold he would have taken his red hot anger any day over this.

"Nothing. Everything's fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go." Hijikata's voice came out in neutral detachment, chilling him down to the bone.

No, Gintoki thought, everything was not fine, not with this sudden and impersonal bubble Hijikata had surrounded himself in, not with the way his eyes felt like ice. And in a faltering heartbeat Gintoki wasn't drowning in warm waters anymore but he was suffocating in their cold storm. Something he had thought and hoped that after all those years wouldn't come back slashed at his chest, leaving invisible imprints, leaving him frayed.

...Rejection.

There was a part of him, somehow still functioning rationally (even if rationality had never been much of his forte) that did understand Hijikata wanted nothing to do with him, and why would he even share his worries with someone like him in the first place? And maybe if he was in his shoes he might have done the same… then why did it feel like his insides were getting twisted?

It was his turn to hold his head down low, his hair covered his face messily as, slowly, he distanced himself from him. Letting his arms fall back again by his sides, hanging limply, Gintoki took one, two, three steps back and kept going until he was out of the alley, not daring himself even a backward glance.

Once he returned to the small group he took his spot at the bench, filling his mouth with the dango and determined to hide from everyone else just what he was… feeling. It was as if his brain shut down and he stopped paying attention completely until the two officers were far, far away. Only then did he feel like he could allow himself to relax from the strung out sensation that had so forcefully and abruptly taken over every inch of him.

When they were done with their snack break they went to order in some more dango for Otae, upon Kagura's insistence, and found the old lady was still having trouble with the register, and while Gintoki's day had definitely turned to shitty by now he didn't want hers to be ruined, and under the surprised eyes of Kagura and Shinpachi he put in some elbow grease, only for the kids to offer their help too. (Although it didn't take long for Kagura to start thinking the problem could be solved with a punch and to avoid possible disasters she was left to wait outside.)

And it did pay off, once they fixed up the worn out register the nice old lady was happy enough to let them have the dango for free, giving them one of her kindest smiles. And that uncomfortable, tangled mess twisting inside Gintoki started melting a bit. With the promise that they would come back again, the Yorozuya quartet went on their merry way.

With every step he took Gintoki felt worse in thinking something so... so unimportant (how else could he describe what just happened with Hijikata, his pride wouldn't allow him to give it the weight it deserved… at least for now) could affect him, so he set to plaster a smile on his face because smiling was always the best medicine (or was that an apple a day?), and so by the time they arrived at the dojo there was a small and real smile hanging by the corners of his lips.

~ End of flashback ~

.

.

.

And now, here he was, sitting on the porch and waiting for the kids and their giant puppy to return.

Shinpachi and Kagura had woken up early to go the grocery store- once again to avoid food poisoning from Otae- and Gintoki had offered to go too, but once he voiced it he apparently almost gave the brats a heart attack. Shinpachi had checked to see if he had a fever, and Kagura had wanted to call an ambulance and take him to the hospital stat. And, alright, maybe he wasn't exactly the definition of a 'morning person', but so wasn't Kagura! …Though when there was food involved the little Yato could be as much of a night owl as she could be an early bird, so not the best example there. And also… okay, he did wake up on days when he had very important jobs to carry out (or found himself stuck in life or death situations), and not even hungover did he manage to wake up early and puke his soul out but-

…Fine. He maybe saw perfectly well why the two had insisted for him to stay here instead of joining them, probably thinking he was going through an existential crisis or something (…and would that honestly be an incorrect assumption?). Whatever, he was perfectly fine with watching Otae sweep the courtyard, though even in his torpid state he couldn't help but notice the tidbit of force she was adding behind the chore, since this was already her second broom. The first had broken in half in her hold.

Gintoki had no particular inclination in getting caught in her wrath, but he had no particular inclination in letting himself get lost in a sea of thoughts either, not certain thoughts, and with his boredom added to the mix too he decided to take a risk.

"So." He began in an airy tone, making himself sound casual. "Is this the part where we sit down to have tea and talk about our feelings?"

Otae paused, turning enough to look at him with a grimly set expression. And then she let out something between a huff and a giggle. "Define 'feelings' please."

Gintoki smirked a bit, having succeeded in somewhat lighting up the mood. "You can start by telling me what's been up-"

He promptly bit on his tongue, because telling Otae 'what's been up your butt' was not the way to go (except go to hell, sent by her) if she was already ticked off by something. During a relaxed atmosphere, when in a group, joking around and drinking it would be more than okay, she would laugh about it and tease him back, but when she was in a bad mood? Gintoki would have better luck pestering Sadaharu until he devoured his precious head. Thus, he went for another route.

"Uh, what's been bothering you?" Smirk back in place, he batted his eyelashes for good measure and added in a joking, high-pitched voice. "And then let's paint our nails and shit talk the other girls in our class who think they're so much cooler than us just 'cause they cake their faces in expensive makeup."

"Haha. You really think that is what girls do all day?" She laughed sarcastically, amusing him. But even so her lips were stretched in a forced, curved up line and her lids tightly closed, it was her signature 'I'm mad' smile. Uh-oh, so she was sort of furious.

"But everything is fine, why do you ask Gin-San?" Otae asked back, clearly reading through his intent to placate her, and even before she finished asking the question her broom broke from the sheer force of her hold. She had not moved a single muscle.

"N-No reason really." Screw evasive and subtle tactics, he would go with a direct-indirect approach, lest she directed all her fury at him and snapped his neck in half like that poor, unfortunate broom. "Say, you need h-help with anything?" He tried to keep his voice from stuttering as a bead of nervous sweat slid down his brow. He found out a long time ago that offering to help Otae, mostly with heavy or long chores, helped her calm down. Mind you, he despised chores with the passion of a burning suns, some of them he found even disgusting, but between those and her unending strength-fueled-rage… yes, the choice was pretty darn easy.

This time she properly stopped to look over at him, and the smile turned a tad more genuine. "No, it's alright. There is not much to do today since Shin-Chan and Kagura-Chan helped me yesterday while you were busy almost blowing up the kitchen-"

"It was all Kagura's fault! You know I'm the best baker around!" Gintoki interrupted hotly, thinking about how one thing led to the other and suddenly he had been trying to save a perfect cake from the little girl's ravenous jaws.

Otae ignored him, though she did smirk a bit. "I'm just sweeping away a few leaves that fell in, that's all. You can sit back and relax." But she did give him a cautionary look, and clearly, just like Shinpachi and Kagura, she too thought he might be going through some sort of crisis.

But Gintoki lost the last tendrils of tension pinching up his shoulders. Good, she didn't seem furious anymore. He at least knew how to calm one person down. (a/n: such a mystery who's the other person he's referring to…)

"Gin-San." Otae called out to him this time.

He hummed to let her know he was listening.

"You know, I think today might be a good day." She happily stated, her changing mood so abrupt it made his head spin a little. "It will definitely be one good day."

"…That so?" Gintoki asked casually, narrowing his eyes somewhat suspiciously at her change in behaviour.

"Mmh-mmh!" She hummed, yet again breaking in half one of the broom's halves still clutched in her hand, before continuing. "That perverted gorilla was here yesterday."

…Right, how had he even forgotten about it? It made sense why she had been ripping brooms in half.

"And he went on about his 'undying love' and all that crap… with my underwear in hand! Can you believe that?!"

Aaand she was punching a tree now.

Gintoki sweatdropped. Yes, he could actually believe that.

"B-But you said today was gonna be a good day?" He reminded, trying to distract her.

Like whiplash, her mood went through another change and she smiled for real this time around. "Yes, because he told me he wouldn't drop his ugly mug here for at least a few days." Otae paused, chin held between her pointer finger and thumb in what looked to be contemplation. "Because something important will keep him busy and… what was it again? It was difficult to understand what he was saying when I was kicking him-"

She said it so easily and sweetly, as if that was normal for her, and Gintoki couldn't help but snort.

"-but he did mention something about an incursion, I think?"

…right. That was also something else he had apparently forgotten. He had been so completely focused on Hijikata, to the point he was unable to sleep, that even if their conversation had replayed over and over in his mind he had apparently erased everything about this small detail.

"You know, that perverted idiot doesn't often take part in them, but this seems to be a dangerous case. Who knows for how long we will get to enjoy the absence of his company?" Now her good mood seemed to definitely be ever-lasting as she discarded the rests of the broom and came to take a seat beside him.

Shoulders slouched and eyes pointed ahead of him, at the tree that was almost ripping in half too, Gintoki asked in his most 'I'm-faking-disinterest-so-you-won't-notice-anything-suspicious' voice: "Dangerous, you said?"

"Yes." The brunette appeared lost in her thoughts for a moment, as if for a second she might be concerned. She let out a light sigh. "Honestly, that cretin should learn to keep classified information for himself once and for all. How did he even get to lead the Shinsengumi with such a loud mouth and disgusting behaviour?" She scrunched up her nose adorably, grimacing, before her features returned to a neutral expression once more. "But he was saying something about a meeting taking place today, probably around this time too, involving a couple of amanto. You should have heard him, he kept babbling about some strange weapon that could take control of people's minds and something about conquering the world…" She stopped for a moment to shake her head. "Ridiculous, isn't it?"

Gintoki didn't know why but something was sitting heavily in the pit of his stomach and making him feel weird. "Uh, yeah."

Otae turned to face him. "As much as I don't trust him-" She frowned a little, before smiling a bit. "I know that everyone in the Shinsengumi is more than capable in a fight, they can take care of themselves well enough." She finished with an encouraging smile.

But the feeling taking over Gintoki didn't dissolve with the words, instead it only seemed to stretch in his stomach, making him feel almost nauseous. He didn't know why, it was almost as if something bad was bound to happen. This time when he proceeded to ask another question, his subtlety, again, flew off the window. "Did you manage to catch who's involved, the race of these amanto?"

"Let's see, he definitely mentioned it. Habu- Haku… Halu…" Otae squinted her eyes as she tried to recall the snippets of broken conversation (broken by her punches, that is) between her and Kondo, finger on her chin as she craned her neck to look up at the pale blue sky. "Haru…" She jolted, suddenly having the illumination and turning towards him with a smile. "Harusame! I think he said."

Gintoki's breath froze in his lungs. The inkling of a bad feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach now pivoted into dread.

---

Meanwhile, the Shinsengumi was waiting.

It didn't take much longer however when a car finally made its way to the old warehouse, pulling up just outside. And the passengers of said car turned out to be… strange creatures.

One of them sort of resembled a big lizard, its face was stark white, apart from the mouth which was a thin line of red, its eyes a dirty purple colour and the irises two slits of darkness, only the back of its head was green, just like the tail that could be seen hanging from its robes. It was followed by four similar looking amanto that were bigger, and judging by the circumstances they were probably its bodyguards. One of them carried what appeared to be an inconspicuous briefcase. They quickly disappeared inside.

Another vehicle followed soon after, parking right next to the first one. This time around another large creature made its arrival, one that didn't have any particular resemblance to the humans or animals on earth. It was shaped like a man, red from head to toe, and spikes that looked just like thorns jutted out of its head and face, its eyes were almost completely engulfed in yellow. Along with it were eight other amanto.

For this being a secret meeting they sure were cautious enough to bring plentiful protection, but the Shinsengumi still largely outnumbered them. They waited for the right time before following too.

With their faction divided in half, one group was hiding outside, the other already inside. This old deposit had more than a few floors, and Hijikata was currently on the ground floor where the trade would occur. Beside a hefty amount of dust, boxes, tables and stacked shelves, a few other objects were laying all around, littering the space. He was crouching behind one of the larger cardboard boxes, pressing on an earpiece that would ease the communication between them.

As soon as he heard the echo of footsteps and voices he snapped to attention. Focusing on the alien figures, from his safe spot he could -thankfully- see what was going on without being seen in return. As the figures drew near, their voices cleared too.

"I Zzee you werre able to make it, I wazz ztarrting to think you forrgot about ourrr affairr." The big, round lizard spoke first with a weird accent and 'zzzz'es all over his sentence.

"Oohoooh hoow coould I fooorget shoomething shooo impooortant, shooorry fooor the wait, shhtupid humanssh." The other answered, followed by 'ooohhh' s.

…One better than the other it seemed. In his ear he could hear Sougo already snickering.

"Idiot, keep it down or we'll be found out." Hijikata hissed in a hushed voice, but he didn't exactly blame him this time. Both aliens sounded like two children that were still learning to speak, not to mention their high-pitched voices and extravagant attire, and to think in their hands they could be holding what might probably end up destroying the nation. If Hijikata wasn't so focused and trained to do his job seriously he would probably huff a laugh himself, the thought that these amanto could be the reason for their doom suddenly sounded a bit ridiculous.

"Hah, it doezen't matterrr now, zoon we'll conquerr this uzelezz worrrld. Thiz iz what I promizzed you. Be carrreful, it'zz verry delicate."

"Ooohooh, oof coourshe, oof coourshe."

Right as one of the bodyguards passed the briefcase to the leading amanto, Hijikata got in position. As the alien was about to open the case, he sprinted out of his hiding spot. The other men followed suit their Vice-Commander's example, launching themselves in the fight that ensued.

The two amanto were standing shock-still at their sudden appearance. At least at first. But their bodyguards immediately took over, covering the two. Hijikata slashed at one, but another alien was attacking him as soon as his sword lifted from the enemy's body.

"What izz happening herre?!" The 'lizard' asked outraged.

"In the name of the Shinsengumi you are all under arrest." Kondo's voice rung loud and confident among the small crowd.

That is, until the red amanto startled them with squeaky laughter. "Oohoohooh! Yoou thooought we wooouldn't have a plan up oour shleeve?" Out of the blue, the alien extracted a small, strange device out of its robe, pressing one of the buttons.

---

Gintoki's muscles locked in place, fingers frozen in half-clenched fists. It couldn't be. It couldn't be. It didn't happen often, but fear curdled in his throat like sick bile as horrific images rained down his eyes in a flashing storm, because the Harusame had been the ones who… and also the ones who had worked with Takasugi to try to cut his and Katsura's head off.

'Dangerous my ass!' Gintoki thought frantically. 'They're going to die!'

"Well, good for those guys for keeping busy with ridiculous tasks." In the blink of an eye he was on his feet, making up an excuse on the spot. "But my scooter's been acting up for two days now and the old man Gengai's the only one who can fix it."

"Oh, won't you wait for Kagura-Chan and Shin-Chan to come back? Or at least have breakfast before leaving?" Otae asked, puzzled as she watched him suddenly put on his boots and take his wooden sword.

"Nah, I'm all good, ate too much at dinner last night." Gintoki patted his stomach, trying to look as nonchalant as he could. "Just tell the kids to not eat the last slice of cake before I'm back. See ya." He called out over his shoulder as he walked away, keeping a normal but fast pace.

"Alright then." Otae replied as she blinked once, a little bewildered, but in the end she shrugged it off. Deciding she had rested enough and could spend her time more productively, she got on her feet too and began her quest for another broom.

---

As soon as he was out of sight, Gintoki started running as fast as he could. First things first, he stopped at his apartment to take his faithful vehicle- which was, thankfully, in almost perfectly good conditions- and hopped on it and driving at the old man's garage at the speed of light.

---

Shattering windows preceeded the arrival of more amanto. They kept piling in, until the Shinsengumi was surrounded by all fronts.

"Ahahah, did you rrreally think we didn't have a back up plan? We arre the Harruzame afterr all ahahah-!"

Someone had the guts to interrupt the evil amanto during its evil laugh.

"You're wrong. It's Harusame, not 'Harruzame'. You're part of one of the most feared races in the universe and you don't even know how to correctly spell the name. Tch, what a disappointment."

And this daring man was none other than... a daring boy. Which turned out to be Sougo, of course.

Hijikata was torn between being livid and exasperated. What the hell was the brat trying to do? As if the situation wasn't bad enough already was he looking for ways to piss them off too?! They were all going to get killed at this rate!

"Who izz thizz human? How darre you interrrrupt me?" The amanto did look pissed off.

"I was simply pointing out the correct way to say it. When you finally conquer this planet do you want to be known as the leader of the 'Harruzame'? Or the leader of the Harusame?" It was plainly obvious that Sougo was being sarcastic, but the amanto didn't seem to notice. In fact, the other alien intervened in his favor.

"He'shh right, you know? I've been telling you for yearshhh it'shh Harushhame."

If Hijikata didn't have better control of his facial muscles he would be gaping in outrage. 'Are they fucking kidding right now?!'

And who was this one to talk, its pronunciation was almost worse! What was Sougo trying to do anyway, buy them time? Why even bother? Everything was set, they should simply take hold of the briefcase and arrest every criminal involved in this illicit trade. What was the kid scheming up in that crazy brain of his, did he even have a plan? The boy appeared confident enough, as usual, and his plans rarely failed and… even if every instinct was screaming at him to take action, Hijikata waited to see how this would play out, remaining as alert as ever.

---

After what felt like hours, but was less than a couple of minutes- since he had sped through the red lights all the while yowling about life and death situations at screaming passersby- Gintoki finally got to Gengai's garage.

He quickly hopped off his scooter and went in, finding the man, as always, working on something. "Oi, old man!"

Gengai turned around when he heard his name being called, grinning once he saw him. "Ah Ginnoji, have you come back for your television? I told you it was-"

"No." Gintoki interrupted, which was probably when the old man noticed the serious expression he wore and his slightly frantic eyes.

"What can I do for you?" Gengai asked heedfully as he got to his feet, wiping his hands with an already greasy towel.

…And, well, how did he put this now... "Can you create something that counters the effects of something else even if you don't really know how this something else works exactly?" He was almost tempted to shrug and add in 'but hey, the life of a bunch of men might just depend on this, no pressure or anything!'

Gengai raised an eyebrow at his rushed question. "You'll have to explain better than that, kid."

Gintoki tried to keep his breath steady, he could almost feel his heart pulsing in his temples. Taking a deep breath in, however, did nothing to settle his nerves. When he repeated the question he tried to be as specific as he could this time, telling the old man every detail he could remember hearing from Otae.

Once he was done, Gengai blinked behind his goggles and pondered over his request. Finally, he spoke. "I see... you know you're asking for a lot, right? It ain't kids play for me to make something with only this much information."

Gintoki was expecting this, still he felt something akin to disappointment and nerves set raging sparks inside of him. "I know, I know, but old man, it's a matter of life or death here. People are risking their lives as we speak." He thought of the Shinsengumi (of someone in particular) and his apparent coolness was replaced by hot uncertainty all over again. "Can't you find a loophole or something, it doesn't have to be a specific thing, just... a way around it?" He asked patiently (nervously), not even sure of what he was saying anymore.

It didn't take long for Gengai to notice the masked desperation behind his eyes, knowing he had to help. After all, if Gintoki was this serious it must really be a life or death situation. "Ya know what, you're in luck today. A few clients have left some interesting bits of technology behind and with the help of my new assistant I could work out something."

The relief Gintoki felt was visible. "Old man, I-"

Gengai held up a hand, stopping him. "Thank me if this is gonna work."

The samurai nodded with the beginnings of a smile, watching as Gengai set to work without wasting any more time.

One huge robot came in, bringing to the extravagant old man some... well, Gintoki had no real idea what those were, pieces of metal? Sparkling otherwordly technology? Who knew. He could see from the bunch something was shining green.

While Gengai was working on what would hopefully end up being one-size-fits-all-solution to a problem they didn't even know the real consequences of, Gintoki felt like his heart was stuck in his throat just by thinking about some of the possibilities and what-if's that could go wrong.

He knew the Shinsengumi was made of strong men, he had seen them fight to protect the country on more than a singular occasion, they knew how to hold their ground. He also knew that their line of work was –obviously- a pretty dangerous one, they took considerable risks practically every day of their lives, there was always the possibility that they could end up getting seriously injured, or worse… so why should today of all days concern him? He didn't even know why he found himself caring now all of a sudden…

...or maybe he might just know why. To his self he could admit that since the beginning the Shinsengumi had grown on him (a lot). There was Sougo who he got along with, and just like Shinpachi he considered him a younger brother of sorts. The Gorilla, who even though a bit perverted and mostly a weird guy, possessed a sense of justice and companionship so deep-rooted Gintoki had rarely witnessed it in anyone else. And how to forget about Jimmy... who they forgot about a lot. But he was a good man, always trying his best for his comrades. And among them a few others he had come to know, and respect.

But then there was... someone else. Up until now he had not stopped to think about this, had almost given no craps about what happened to him, but, between them, something had changed this week. Maybe insignificantly so, maybe not, nevertheless the change had taken place. He could feel it.

And now, if something were to happen to the Shinsengumi- if something were to happen to Hijikata today... Gintoki didn't know how he would take it.

His scattered thoughts kept running rampant, wandering, dwindling to the day before, where he had wanted for something entirely different to happen, something like their previous encounter, instead he had been shoved off. As if everything until that point had been a big joke, and at any moment Hijikata would have taunted him with: 'Ha! Surprise fucker! I still hate you!'

He had thought there must have been a reason as to why the other man had behaved so… unusually from his usual self, and even though he had not found a reason yet- not a satisfying one at least- Gintoki knew that during his whole life he had never felt… quite like this with anyone else but him. And even if most of the time they got on each other's nerves, even if they fought like cats and dogs, even if they tried to annoy each other to death (read: Gintoki, mostly), this kind of… this sort of… connection, he didn't want to lose it.

And he realized, by association, this meant… he didn't want to lose Hijikata.

Whew, that felt weird to even think about. But it was the truth.

This was why it didn't matter what the stubborn moron would have to say, Gintoki had already made up his mind and no one would stop him. Now, the only question left was… where the hell were they?!

Right in that moment something in the background ended up catching his attention. In the corner was an old television, probably one Gengai used as white noise while he worked. But what had Gintoki so focused were the images shown, a curtain of smoke was invading the screen.

Soon after the scenery changed to a studio, a journalist- unfortunately for him not the lovely Ana Ketsuno-was speaking, and he shuffled forward, quickly turning up the volume to catch any important bit. "-sudden explosion in this abandoned warehouse, located on the outskirts of town. The firefighters and police are now headed to the scene to make sure there were no victims involved…-"

Gintoki lost interest after that, ignoring the rest of the news as the journalist changed subject. But…

'Wait a second.'

From what he had seen, the old place looked somewhat familiar…

'Wait another second!'

How stupid could he be?! He could have asked Otae about where the Shinsengumi was headed, because sure as hell the Gorilla had given her this scrap of information too. But no, instead he'd been so… overwhelmed and he'd come running to the old man like a moron!

Not like there was much he could do about this now, running back to Otae and ask would be… well, he wasn't sure how that might go. It would probably only arise suspicion and questions he wasn't even certain he himself had the answers to, and it definitely seemed like a troublesome and very uncomfortable process to go through now.

So, for once, he would just… think calmly and rationally? Yeah, yes, he could do this, he was very capable. Rational thinking all the way!

(…He was screwed, wasn't he?)

Gintoki closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side to help drive away the negative thoughts (not unlike a puppy who was drying off). He still had tidbits of information, he was sure he could piece them together and work with what he had.

First of all, from what Otae had told him (and what he'd heard from Hijikata's phone conversation) he knew this was an illegal affair (yep, thanks captain obvious).

Secondly, the Harusame were involved… somehow. But, he had to admit, this didn't sound particularly true. In fact it was almost unconvincing. With such a dangerous group it would be more believable for them to announce their plans, taking pleasure to instil fear in their enemies only to crush them afterwards, right? So why would they keep such a great threat silent? Gintoki didn't expect for them to wave a flag around and boast for the whole universe to hear, of course, but at least for their allies and a few close criminal organizations to know too. Instead it seemed only a small part of them was aware of their plans... only a small part- what if this was the answer?

Maybe these were the small fish, maybe they were not even officially part of the Harusame, a sub-group that wanted to climb up the ranks, maybe the underlings that went often ignored. If they'd miraculously put their hands on something fairly big (no dirty pun intended), something that would give them the attention they so craved, keeping it for themselves until the very end would make sense, until they'd start threatening everyone with this 'new power', maybe even the real Harusame. And, sure, if they had gotten to this point they probably were powerful, but from experience he knew not all of them were known for being clever, if one knew how to trick them they could certainly be manipulated.

And third, from what he had been told, this kind of weapon didn't sound like a joke. If it could really put people under influence… and surely, they would want to experiment its effects first, maybe somewhere secluded, away from possible witnesses, away from curious eyes and ears, and… the smoke he had just seen flashed in his mind's eye, coupled with the journalist's words… and suddenly, it clicked.

Could the old warehouse really be the place? It would definitely be a good spot to choose from, not to mention the one time he had been there with Zura something similar had been going on, but… all that smoke, what if they already…

No. No, no, no. He shouldn't even be entertaining these sort of thoughts! If they really were there, then they would be fine. The Shinsengumi would be fine. Hijikata would be fine-

"Ah Ginnoji, c'mere." Gengai's voice was a welcome distraction from the mess going on inside his head.

Gintoki reached him in a few, quick strides, only to see that his request had apparently been fulfilled (how much time had he even spent thinking? Or had the old man always been so quick? Or both?). From what he could see this was some sort of gun, similar to a few he had seen but different too. What jumped out at him was the same green light he had glimpsed before, a low dim coming from within the weapon.

"I think I'm done here." The old man finally declared, nodding to himself. "This beauty should get the job done, when you need it just shoot." Gengai explained, clearly satisfied with himself. He even smiled, sporting all his thirty-two teeth. Well, not thirty-two exactly, with the few gaps here and there, but you get the gist.

Gintoki felt a little overcome all of a sudden, feeling like he could probably lie down for half an hour and jump up and down for just as long, and… was this relief? Whatever, he didn't have the time to analyze this now, nor did he want to, so he busied himself with taking careful hold of the wrapped up weapon whilst the old man gave him a few more pointers about it.

"What do I owe you?" He finally asked with a bit of a shit-eating grin, already walking to his scooter.

"I want that karaoke set." Gengai demanded with no hesitation whatsoever. He had thought about this already it seemed.

"You know the old woman will skewer me alive if I try to get it from her." Gintoki said, feeling equally amused and terrified as an image of a raging Otose with three heads spitting out fire came to mind. "But I'll see what I can do."

"And try not to get yerself killed!" Gengai let out a hearty laugh as he patted his belly, watching the samurai get ready to leave.

"When's that ever happened!" Gintoki called back, sporting a big grin of his own. In a beat he was already on his way, leaving wind and dust behind.

"…Kids, they've always got a new one these days." Gengai shook his head, whistling to an old tune as he got back to work, thinking of all the songs he would sing once he got his precious karaoke set.

---

-Before the explosion-

Everyone was on high alert, nobody had dropped their swords.

But…

They were sitting on the ground. All of them were currently forming one big circle.

What even…

"Now, try again."

"Haruszame."

"Ah, you still can't get it right." Sougo was sitting cross-legged with the two amanto, seemingly 'teaching' them.

…This stupid brat!

"Wait, wait, let me try noow! Harussame."

"See, he's already doing better than you. Good job." Sougo praised the other alien in a monotone, even going as far as giving him an unenthusiastic thumb up.

Hijikata felt like throwing a punch, preferably at the idiotic kid.

"It'z not fairr! I want to learrn too!" The other amanto whined.

"Let's try another time then."

"... Haruzsame."

Sougo shook his head, like a disappointed teacher would to his students. "Nah, still not good enough. Are you sure you guys are even part of the Harusame?"

"How darre you! Of courrrse we arre!"

"Alright, alright." Sougo placated, deadpan expression never leaving. "Let's try one more time."

…Hijikata couldn't deal with this. He was so frustrated even inner screaming didn't seem to be working a whole lot anymore… because this was stupid! They had to undergo rigorous training, spend hours on studying a detailed plan, and for what… having two amanto failing at getting a stupid name right. Again- this was stupid!

Hijikata diverted his attention, to avoid doing something right then and there he might come to regret, and focused on scanning the surrounding area, when out of the corner of his eye he glimpsed something- someone. Yamazaki. While everyone was engrossed in Sougo's 'lesson' the spy kept moving stealthily, used to it due to his job. Hijikata didn't understand at first, until he saw the man moving toward the briefcase that one of the bodyguards was still holding. Could this have been Sougo's plan all along? If it was then… the brat might not have had a terrible idea. Though most of his ideas were still pretty horrible, to Hijikata anyway.

It seemed the only one aware of what was going on was him, the rest of the occupants in this old deposit were too focused on the scene in front of them. Hijikata thought that maybe Kondo had caught onto this too. But as he looked over at him… his Commander was watching their every move, whispering 'Harusame' again and again, and trying to mimic the same exact way Sougo said it as if he was learning too.

…He had forgotten all about the raid!

Hijikata wanted to face-palm.

Glancing discreetly at Yamazaki once again, he saw his subordinate had almost erased the distance between him and the briefcase. Perfect. If they could just get a hold of the weapon first, then beating this bunch would be kid's play. Yamazaki's fingers finally reached forward, short of a few centimetres of touching it, when-

"And what do you think you'rrre doing?"

Shit. Hijikata wanted to face-palm for a whole different reason now.

The alien kicked Yamazaki away, and just like that everyone sprinted to their feet.

"Zo thiz waz yourr plan all along?" The green alien asked angrily.

Sougo shrugged his shoulders in plain indifference. "Can't say it wasn't, after all your strength is preceded by your stupidity. Oh, by the way, I never give out free lessons." He held out a hand. "Cash or credit card?"

"Whaaat?! You can't be zerrrious!" The amanto exclaimed in outrage, seemingly even more enraged.

The previous moment of tentative (and fairly stupid) truce was all but canned. The aliens assumed fighting positions, ready to attack Sougo, but Hijikata's attention was already being directed to two other amanto who were rushing at him from behind. With a swift turn of the wrist he slashed at them, kicking at another one in front of him. To avoid a sword aiming for his chest, he quickly crouched, directing his kick at the enemy's shin and making the amanto lose its balance, only to quickly get back up on his feet and stab another in the stomach.

Meanwhile Sougo was fighting against one of the 'leaders', who seemed just as eager to fight back. The one resembling a lizard had taken a blade from one of its underlings to attack him, but the boy blocked it and their swords clashed. They both took a step back, the Captain tried to go for its side but the alien was faster and avoided it, aiming for his chest. And as Sougo turned away just in time, the lizard used its tail to sweep him off his feet, making him fall on the ground. The alien was about to stab him, but Sougo was faster and rolled to his left, sword still in hand as he slashed at his opponent's arm, who let out a grunt of pain.

Kondo was holding his ground too, fighting against three amanto at once and defending himself from the blows. One of them stalked forward, but the Commander was faster, puncturing a wound with his trusted sword, blood poured out of the amanto's chest as soon as he took back his sword. He cut through the back of another, simultaneously giving a powerful kick to the remaining alien and turning just in time to avoid a hit on his own back.

It seemed the Shinsengumi had the upper hand during the fight. Metal clashes and loud roars were the only soundtrack in the background… until screeching laughter unexpectedly echoed throughout the open space.

"Ohohoh yoou really thoought yoou coould win againsht ush!" The red alien exclaimed all of a sudden. Rustling fabric and a quiet 'beep' were their only warnings.

A shot. And the warehouse was filling, filling up in grey smoke to the brim. And then everything happened in slow motion.

Hijikata was suddenly hyper-aware of his surroundings. For a second it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and they were almost flying, their feet lifting off the ground a few millimeters. He swore he could feel every single strand of hair as it lifted off his forehead and his stomach sunk in, it almost felt like he was on a plane that was just taking off.

And then the force of gravity returned tenfold, but the slowness had not left yet and he watched as his body moved towards the ground, almost parallel to it, and this time his stomach dropped, this time the plane was about to crash. As he was nearing the floor he felt his hair sharply tickling his skin, and for a moment he saw the little specks of dust slowly floating in the air, reminding him of snowflakes falling from the sky in the room that was abruptly washed in blinding white light. And if it had lasted more than a nanosecond, if it had been under different circumstances, he might have even appreciated the view.

But then came the impact.

He heard it before he felt the loud crack resounding through his skull. And then a violent shudder shot from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, leaving his whole body electrified with pure, unbridled pain.

A void of nothing was all that existed inside his head.

Until he heard a sound, an incessant beeping in the distance, intensifying and piercing his ears with the passing of time. Maybe it was inside his head. And he was suddenly aware of harsh gasps, only in a second moment noticing they were his own. He tried to peel open his eyes, but all he could see was white.

And all at once everything rushed in. And with the returning speed, sounds exploded inside his ears.

With effort he tried to blink open his eyes again, but black spots were dancing in his vision. Out of nowhere his chest started constricting painfully and the need for air was suffocating, so much that violent coughs tore their way out of his throat until the ground was painted red. Blood.

He could feel it trickling from his temple, down to the tip of his nose and dripping across his mouth. He tried to spit it out, but the metallic taste lingered sourly on his tongue. Slowly, he tried to open his eyes one more time, letting them adjust even if he was anxious to see what had happened. At first, grey filled the view and he didn't know if it was the smoke or if his eyes were playing tricks on him. After his vision had returned, somewhat blurred, he noticed the laying bodies of his comrades among the debris, while the amanto were all standing on their feet, seemingly unaffected.

With sudden fear gripping at his heart he quickly searched the room, looking for Kondo. When he found him Hijikata felt relief wash over him, but it was short-lived as the aliens started cackling again.

"Ahahah! What do you think we zhould do with them?"

"Kill them. But leave a few alive tooo tesht the experimental weapoon."

When they started inspecting the room, dread coiled in the pit of his stomach. He tried to get up by moving his arms, that were laying motionless above his head, and pressing on his elbows to lift his upper body, but pain shot through him and across his chest. With more effort than he would have imagined to be necessary for the action, Hijikata looked down at himself and saw that his vest was soaked red.

Just his luck, he had fallen on the sharp edge of a sword.

Lifting his gaze, he saw that he had his own sword still clutched in his hand, so this wasn't his. The blade was embedded in his skin, lacerating it and the wound didn't seem superficial if the blood gushing out was of any indication. He gasped out in pain, trying to get air to fill his lungs, but it wasn't working.

Panic started to settle in his hazy mind, until another cough was forced out of him and more blood came spitting out of his mouth. Then oxygen rushed painfully inside his lungs, making his heart thump against his chest out of rhythm. He had to wait a few, impatient seconds to will himself to calm down enough to lift his head, only then registering noise, shuffling. It was Kondo. He was holding himself up with the help of his sword as a support, blood was trickling from the left side of his face, against his closed eye. He managed to stand up on shaky legs, pointing his sword at the two creatures.

When he spoke however, even if injured, his voice was unwavering. "…You will pay for what you did to the Shinsengumi you bastards."

He charged at the aliens with a war cry, with everything he had in him, and he was able to cut through the amanto's arm Sougo had previously injured. The the other took out a gun, but Kondo was faster and with the blade of his sword hurled it away from them. But when he tried to attack again he failed as the alien moved out of reach, quickly picking up a sword that was near its feet. Their blades clashed almost deafeningly loud. Kondo was so focused on the fight that he didn't notice the other amanto approaching from behind.

"K-…Kondo-San!" Hijikata could barely raise his voice enough to warn him.

He tried to stand up, but his limbs weren't cooperating with him. His muscles stiffened as his chest throbbed, and frustration and fear alike cursed through his veins when he saw the alien kept advancing closer, its sword pointed at his friend's neck.

At the speed of light another body put itself between the two, stopping the trajectory of the blade.

"Sougo!" Kondo shouted his name, finally noticing the predicament they were in.

Sougo had gotten on his feet as soon as had seen the green 'lizard'. The desire to protect their Commander and friend was stronger than the pain, than anything else.

But he had instinctually stopped the blade with his hand. Blood dripped down his palm in scarlet rivulets. He had managed to halt the enemy's sword just in time, his chest was only grazed in a superficial cut. Sougo put more pressure on the sharpness of the blade, angering the amanto with his sheer force, blood accumulated to the ground but he put a good amount of distance between them.

With laboured breaths and the curve of a smirk lighting up his handsome face, he spoke out lowly but confidently. "Don't worry, Kondo-San. It's just a scratch."

---

The negative sensation that had washed over Gintoki before was now turning into something nasty. He was pressing down on the accelerator, going as fast as he could, but damn it, it wasn't enough! Five minutes had already went by, he was even counting, and each one of them felt like torture. Not knowing what was happening right now was… it was...

Gintoki decided he didn't like this feeling, he didn't like it one. single. bit.

As he was speeding through, a large shadow enveloped the streets and him. When he looked up, he saw a huge ship sailing in the air.

---

Whilst Sougo had a steady hold of the sword that had tried to pierce his chest, another one bore through his enemy's. Kondo's sword.

Other amanto tried to attack him, but the Commander shoved them to the ground, defending his friend and teammate, blocking and returning all his opponents' blows. The comrades who could still stand on their feet went to help him.

Hijikata tried, too. Gritting his teeth, he grunted lowly in the back of his throat, taking a few and deep breaths through his nose with difficulty. He was finally was able to lift his upper body up, helping himself with his forearms, and, much like Kondo had done before, he shakily got to his feet with the help of his sword. As enemies came swarming from every opening, he started defending himself and going on the offensive with the adrenaline running through his body and thrumming in his veins.

But he was tiring himself much too quickly. Even as he kept his hand pressed to the wound on his chest, blood kept spurting out from the cut. Furthermore, he was only using his right hand, and unfortunately the aliens not only had access to both, but to guns too.

One of them aimed at him and Hijikata, already sensing it before he heard the shot, moved away fast. But the bullet still grazed his calf, for a moment making him lose his balance as the ache spread to his whole leg. Thankfully this was nothing more than a surface wound, and he was still able to cut open the amanto.

"Thish ish enoough"! Yelled out the red alien. As they all turned, they saw the amanto holding the weapon. The briefcase laid open by its feet.

The weapon was aimed at Kondo.

"It'sh time to shay goodbye to your precioush friendsh noow!" The alien exclaimed with a malignant grin.

'No!' Hijikata thought horrified. From what they knew of the weapon, if used on someone there was no way to turn them back.

Everything they had been through suddenly flashed in his mind, all the hardships they had come to face to get here, to become who they finally were now, everything was only possible because of Kondo. And the Shinsengumi would die without their Commander. No. Hijikata would not let that happen.

As the amanto had its finger on the trigger, Hijikata, with strength he wasn't aware he possessed, ran toward his dearest friend. Pushing away anyone who obstructed his path, he shoved Kondo aside and took his place as a dark light grew brighter among the men's yells, invading every corner of the warehouse and hitting right through him.

"Hijikata-San!"

"Vice-Commander!"

"TOSHI!"

---

"You seem in dire need of a ride."

Long, raven hair blowing in the wind, crystal clear voice that almost echoed even above the loud engine, a stark figure loomed in the blinding light. And his name was none other than-

"Zura! What the hell are you doing here?! Is this your way of making a grand entrance?! Why the hell are you in my scene! Ooi!"

Katsura tsk'ed quietly, his lips pulled down in a frown that almost, almost resembled a pout. "Don't ruin my cool entrance." He stated with an almost petulant quality to his voice. "And my name is not Zura, it's Katsura!"

"'Cool' my ass! How dare you ruin the protagonist's scene huh?!" Even though he was dangerously racing through the streets on his scooter, Gintoki leaned down to try and take off a boot and throw it at the idiot's head.

"Who said you're the protagonist?"

"How dare you disrespect me like that you secondary character!"

"No! I'm one of the main characters as well!" But as Zura saw what his friend was trying to do, he quickly took the reins of the situation. "Ah, wait! I know you need help."

Gintoki paused, half-heartedly glaring at him, almost skeptical.

"I know what is going on." Katsura simply stated in answer to his questioning gaze.

Not even a second later, a ladder made of rope fell down from the sky. Gintoki hesitated only for a brief moment before slowing down. Standing up on the seat of the vehicle, he kept his balance on his two feet. If it had been any other day he would have definitely shown off, but not today. He quickly climbed up, leaving his scooter down the road. He supposed that was as good a spot as any to 'park' it for now.

Just as he was reaching him, Zura gave the order to go faster and the ship flew at a higher speed. Gintoki had to hold on the railing for dear life.

"Hey! Was this revenge for calling you a secondary character!"

"Hmm, I have no idea what you might be talking about. In a drastic situation as this I am merely taking drastic measures."

"Your hurt feelings are what's drastic here! And overdramatic!"

The ship flew at an even higher speed.

"Ooooi!"

After a few tries, and insults flying out of his mouth, Gintoki successfully managed to climb up all the way. He safely touched down.

"Are you looking for a way to save the world again?" Katsura asked with the beginning of a smirk.

Gintoki shrugged nonchalantly. "That's what heroes do, isn't it?"

"...No hero is as much of an attention-seeker as you are."

"What did you just mumble about over there?"

"Nothing at all."

But even through the jokes and light-heartedness Gintoki could still detect the concern behind his friend's voice, see it written over his face.

Katsura wasn't looking at him, but at the sky above when he spoke again. "Have you heard who could be involved?"

Gintoki leaned with his back and elbows on the railing, looking straight ahead at the vast sky and the looming clouds. His expression was the picture of indifference, almost fed up nonchalance. "I'm pretty sure it's not who you think it is."

Katsura's eyes were on him in an instant. Not because of the answer in itself, but the thin tendrils of irritation that had managed to seep their way in through the words. Even if Gintoki's walls were raised higher than skyscrapers.

It wasn't difficult to guess what was going through his mind. He was thinking about it, too.

And Katsura remembered (as if he could forget) that day he had not been the only one left hurting. Someone Gintoki considered a brother had tried to kill them.

His eyes softened. It didn't happen often, but Katsura let himself rest beside his best friend, almost mirroring his stance. "You might be right." He whispered.

Gintoki wordlessly turned to look at him, before diverting his gaze again. The line of his jaw wasn't as tense anymore, the tendrils of irritation faded away only to give way to an almost unnoticeable smile. Katsura smiled back.

---

The violent light washed the room in a purplish haze, disappearing almost as soon as it came.

Everyone was waiting with bated breath, frozen.

Hijikata stood completely still… until he lifted his downcast head, the beautiful blue rings around his eyes had been swallowed up in the coal of his pupils. He took a step, then another, and another, his walk steadier than ever, as if his body had forgotten all the pain it had been through only moments prior.

Once in front of the two amanto he stooped low to kneel on one knee, his head slightly bowed. "I'm awaiting orders." He uttered in a voice that didn't quite belong to him.

The two amanto shared a chortle, disgustingly twin evil sounds. "Why don't you go ahead and deztrroy ourr enemiez. Now!"

Hijikata stood back up again, sword tightly gripped in his fist as he started advancing toward his faction. To say the Shinsengumi was in utter shock in front of this new development would be one uselessly pointed out understatement.

But, except for that one order given to him, Hijikata's mind was horrifyingly blank.

Kondo was the first to come back to his senses, immediately rushing to his friend and trying to make him reason. "Toshi! Look at me! This isn't you! They… they brain-washed you!"

Hijikata regarded him for a moment, as if undecided. But it didn't take long for the curl of his lips to slant evilly across his face. "You'll be the first, then."

In a second his sword was cutting through the air, but thankfully Kondo's self-preservation instincts still worked enough for him to dodge. The Commander was however at a loss on how to proceed, this had not been part of today's plans. He turned threatening eyes to the aliens who had just reduced his friend to a mere puppet, his glare promised hell.

But for now he had another priority, if he wanted to keep his head on his shoulders. He halted all of Hijikata's attacks, but he never responded to them. He couldn't. He would never hurt him, no matter what the circumstances. But Hijikata was unrelenting, his strength seemed to be endless, even if his injuries were still very much present he fought with all the force he had in his body, or maybe even more than that. Too soon Kondo was backed in a corner as he avoided his friend's sword, which drove in the wall right next to his head.

"Toshi! Please listen to me! This is not you! You have to come back to your senses!" His words were useless it seemed, Hijikata didn't even blink.

"Kondo-San, it's pointless. His brain shut down, he can't hear anything except for those filthy amanto's orders." Sougo's voice came from beside him as he took Kondo's place. "I say we fight back and knock some sense into him in the old fashioned way." A small smirk lifted up the corners of his mouth as Hijikata seemed to direct his attention to him now, forgetting about Kondo.

"Sougo!" Kondo called out to him, determined and desperate. "Don't hurt him!"

"Go help the others, Kondo-San. I'll take care of this." Sougo said to his Commander. He wanted to reassure him, but he couldn't bring himself to make any promises he wouldn't be able to keep. There was too much at stake and he wouldn't let the Shinsengumi get killed, even if it meant fighting against his Vice-Commander.

Kondo visibly hesitated, too worried about his friend to leave him be. But the rest of his faction was in a precarious state and he couldn't leave his men in need, he had the duty to help them. While he vowed to himself he would keep a close eye on the two, his feet were already taking him towards his other comrades.

"You wish to be the first to die?" Hijikata asked as an air of pure malice surrounded him.

The Captain snorted lightly. "Heh. In your dreams maybe. I'm going to be the one who kills you first, remember?"

But, despite his words, Hijikata didn't give any hint of remembering. The lightest frown took over the boy's face.

It was…complicated, the relationship between them. Sougo hated Hijikata, detested him, sometimes loathed him with his whole being, and sometimes during awful and sleepless nights he studied in details plans that would actually kill him once and for all. Even if he never ever went through with them.

And right now, even if Hijikata had tried to hurt Kondo, one of the most important people in Sougo's life, even if he was trying to hurt him now, Sougo knew he could never ever bring himself to kill him… not after everything they had been through. Not when, even at the worst of times, even at the peak of his pain and grief, Sougo had still had been unable to kill him… because Hijikata had always, always been there for him despite his own pain.

"…I really hate you, you know that?" The boy whispered through gritted teeth, cutting through his own thoughts, feeling somewhat in pain even if the sword had yet to touch him.

Maybe this was messed up, maybe it didn't make sense at all.

But Sougo had never been a rational kind of guy anyway. And he was pretty fine with the way things were, with the relationship of tentative brotherhood they had going on between them.

Now, if Sougo could just find a way to make Hijikata go back to his usual and annoying self, that would be much, much appreciated.

In the blink of an eye, the Vice-Commander made the first move. The Captain tried to fight, at the same time avoiding all the vital spots on Hijikata's body. But even if he landed a few cuts it seemed the latter had almost turned into a machine of sorts. Not only did he block all of his blows, but the force behind his was brutal.

Just like with Kondo, Sougo was pushed against the wall with no opening for an escape. With a calculated move Hijikata stabbed him without warning, right through the graze of his previous wound. But this time he could do nothing to stop the sword.

Pain rippled through Sougo's body so violently he threw up blood.

'Damn it... I'm not going to last like this.' He could barely think through the daze of the suffering.

Sougo tried to slash at him, but Hijikata drew the sword in deeper. His vision blurred and the ache was soon getting unbearable. He took a long look at Hijikata's face and even if he couldn't see clearly he was still able to detect it, behind his veiled eyes lied lust for blood. And if Sougo had not been in the position he currently was he would have congratulated his Vice-Commander on this sadistic twist in his personality.

But as it was, seeing his Hijikata like this... he couldn't help but feel scared. Not scared for himself, but for him.

And that was Sougo's last coherent thought. What came after was the pit of quiet, relieving darkness he fell into.

Hijikata pulled out the sword with the flick of a wrist, not even sparing another glance at the body crumbled in front of him.

"…No… Sougo…!" Kondo shouted horrified, only now becoming witness to the terrible sight. He had only turned his back to them for a second, just a second.

He wanted to rush and help Sougo more than anything, but the aliens wouldn't let up as the blows kept coming in. Unfortunately this wasn't the only issue, as now they had taken hold of the weapon, and the Shinsengumi was having a hard time stopping them as they kept striking other people, Yamazaki being one of them. And suddenly, before his eyes, his friends were trying to hurt each other… Kondo couldn't bear it.

He- no, they needed a miracle and they needed it fast.

…Fortunately, just as Kondo was stepping out of another sword's way, his prayers were listened and answered.

A familiar figure jumped in through the window, landing in front of flabbergasted eyes.

"How rude, you guys could've at least told me the party was here. It took me so long to find this place I almost had no time to bring a special appetizer for the occasion." A grin was already taking over his face. "Hope you don't mind."

"…Yorozuya!" Kondo cheered in his head and out loud.

---

What should have been a nerve-wracking and seemingly infinite trip turned out to be a short one that only lasted a matter of minutes, thanks to Katsura's high-tech ship- was it even his, where had he found it in the first place, what was he even up to?

His friend had left him outside the warehouse, saying through the break of a small smile, "I have my pride too. Besides, if I try to help them again they might kill me for real this time around."

Gintoki couldn't help but agree with that, though he would like to see the annoyance show through Hijikata's face if it were to happen.

But he also knew there was another reason for this. Gintoki wasn't the only one who felt anger at the memories the 'Harusame' name sparked inside of him, no matter if this was the case or not. He didn't push it.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, the main character will come back in one piece." He couldn't help but reassure in his own, arrogant way before his friend left.

Katsura spared him an unimpressed glance. "…Again, who said you're the main character in the first place?"

"Zura shut up already!"

With his bokuto on his hip, and Gengai's solution safely tucked underneath his arm, Gintoki was quick to jump through an open and shattered window he found, finally making his way inside the warehouse.

As soon as he landed he could feel a grin burning through his face. "How rude, you guys could've at least told me the party was here. It took me so long to find this place I almost had no time to bring a special appetizer for the occasion. Hope you don't mind." He all but declared.

"Zorrry to burrst yourr bubble, Shirroyasha, but this is an exclusive parrrty. Only V.I.P.S arrre invited." A strange, green alien replied with a weird accent and a stupid sneer spread across its strange face.

Huh, it seemed Gintoki was famous, alright. But he didn't recognize any of the aliens as belonging to the actual Harusame, his theory might be correct after all.

"How dare you. I thought racism was already gone in this day and age." He talked back in a deadpan, scratching at his ear with a pinky.

"What arre you saying? I just talked about V.I.P.S, this has nothing to do with rrracism!" The amanto exclaimed in anger, apparently offended.

"Hmm, are you sure?" Gintoki asked, dead-fish eyes already in place.

"Yeeess! Do not put worrrds in my mouth!"

After a moment he shrugged. "Whatever. Do you honestly think I need an invitation to sneak into parties? I don't give a damn about your 'vips', as far as I know I'm always the most important person in the room. I'm the life of the party." He said with a cocky smirk.

"Arrooogant much…" Another red alien muttered under its breath.

"Hey! It's called confidence you idiots!" Gintoki replied hotly, as if this was worth getting annoyed over. "And your pronunciation is ridiculous, go take some lessons on Japanese or something!"

"Who'sh being racisht nooow?!"

Before Gintoki could get in an argument with the two, someone called out to him.

"…Yorozuya!" It was Kondo's voice.

Only then did he rake the room with sharp eyes, assessing the situation… to find that more than half of the Shinsengumi men were on the ground. Things were apparently worse than what he had imagined. But what drew his attention was Sougo, crouched and bleeding against a wall.

'Shit! Soichiro-Kun!' Gintoki felt fury and tidbits of horror grip him. He considered the brat one of his own, it was almost as if Shinpachi or Kagura were now laying in Sougo's place, and he wanted to do nothing more than to help him.

But after Sougo, Hijikata immediately came to mind.

He quickly surveyed through the crowd again, and found him at last. The samurai was standing on the far corner, but even from here Gintoki could see Hijikata was almost covered in blood from head to toe. An ugly gash was on display on his torso and viscous, vermillion blood flowed freely from it. An invisible hand tightened painfully around Gintoki's throat, breath coming out strangled at the sight.

But… Hijikata's eyes. There was something off, he could sense it from here.

"Vice-Coommander, wooon't you have the hoonoour of eshhcoorting the newcoomer oout oof thish woorld?" The red alien spoke with glee this time, its question directed right at Hijikata.

"With pleasure." And the Vice-Commander answered with the hint of a smirk.

The next thing Gintoki knew, he was suddenly defending himself against Hijikata.

Talk about the world moving so fast it makes your head spin, huh? Gintoki had unsheathed his bokuto so quickly the other weapon ended up falling from underneath his arm. But in the situation he found himself in it was momentarily impossible to pick it back up.

"Oi, oi, oi, what the hell?!" He blocked the blow, pushing back. "Look, if you're still mad about yesterday we can talk it out alright? I'll even put in the effort to listen to your annoying rants, but there's no need for swords!"

There was something decidedly off about this, Hijikata would never behave this way. It felt wrong.

"It won't work! Toshi has been brain-washed!" Kondo called out to him in a sort of last-minute explanation, dejection ringing clearly through his voice.

"What?!" Gintoki exclaimed in shock, turning wide eyes in the direction of the Commander. "And you're telling me only now?!"

Kondo, whilst trying to defend his own self from the impending attacks, managed a shrug and even a sheepish look. "...Well, you didn't ask?"

Gintoki glared at him with his best 'are you serious right now' look, but the two men were soon caught up in their respective predicaments.

At least this explained why Hijikata was acting in such an uncharacteristic way. He had felt it, his eyes didn't belong to him, not to the Hijikata he knew... oh, the assholes who had done this to him were going to pay, he would make damn sure they did.

But first, he tried to reach for Gengai's hand-made weapon. In the chaos however, too many people (and aliens) fighting, someone ended up pushing it out of reach with the heel of their feet.

Dammit! Right when he needed it the most! Was the universe trying mess with him again, or what. Gintoki had to absolutely get a hold of it and get Hijikata, and himself, out of this… uncomfortably sharp situation, if the shining blade pointed at him was the means of measuring to go by.

Hijikata launched another assault that sent him flying a few feet away, knocking the breath out of his lungs, and then, in mere seconds, he was closing in on him again.

'When did he manage to become so strong?' Gintoki thought incredulously, but he didn't have the time to dwell on it as Hijikata surprised him by speaking.

"You'll be the first I kill, then."

His voice was so downright cold Gintoki felt all kinds of wrong hearing it, let alone his words. Hijikata should never sound like this. Looking at his face however physically pained him, because all he could see was darkness, the sky-blue was gone. His eyes appeared so cruel, ruthless, looking at Gintoki as if he was nothing more than a replaceable tool.

Even when they had first met, even when he got angry with him, Hijikata had never, not even once looked at him like this.

Gintoki realized, with a start, that it hurt.

(Now, this is something he will have a fun- sarcasm- time having a whole introspective arc to think about. But that can wait until the next chapter, preferably when he comes out of this in one single piece.)

He pushed against him with all the strength he had, trying his best to get to the weapon. But, yet again, he was blocked.

"What's wrong?" Hijikata asked with a hideous glint in his pool-black eyes. "Scared you're going to lose?"

And for a wrenching second Gintoki wanted to reply, he wanted to tell him so badly, 'What I'm scared of is that I might lose you.'

But he gritted his teeth instead, and with his trusted bokuto tried to push him back. He was not going to hurt him, he couldn't do that, but what he could do was try to stop him.

He kept pushing, harder this time and Hijikata was forced to take a few steps back, buying Gintoki enough time to locate the weapon, and Kondo. With a sprint he ran towards it, giving a sideways kick and making it slide across the floor a few inches away from the Commander.

Hijikata was in on him in a flash.

"Hey, hey, no need to come on too strong, I'm not going anywhere." Gintoki cracked a grin through teeth clenched in effort, hoping to get a reaction of sorts.

But the only reaction he got was Hijikata pushing, and getting closer to him and… well, this was a reaction… of sorts? And why was he suddenly feeling this hot under his collar, was he exerting himself too much already?

He managed to block the Vice-Commander's sword with his own, turning to shout at Kondo across the room. "Oi, Gorilla, listen here! What you have right there at your feet is something that might overturn this situation! It should undo the effects of whatever Oogushi-Kun right here is under and… dammit! I have my hands kinda full here so I'm leaving it to you, that cool?"

He was pretty sure Kondo heard, if the way he was looking at him with combined relief, gratitude and like he was the saviour walking the earth was anything to go by. But, unluckily, Gintoki's shout had alerted the damn amanto too, who gave the order to destroy this miraculous solution, to Hijikata no less, and dammit all over again. His subtlety had really flown out of the window it seemed for today as well. But when the Vice-Commander was about to follow through with the order Gintoki intervened, he wouldn't let him.

"Hey, Fukucho, weren't you gonna kill me here? It's ungentleman-like to leave in the middle of the battlefield, you know?" He taunted, blocking Hijikata's view and staring right into his eyes. As an answer, he received another slow smirk and an almost kick to the stomach that he was able to avoid just in time.

"You're right." Hijikata whispered lowly, eyes trailing over Gintoki and voice running deeper than usual. "I should focus on you first."

…Was he saying that on purpose? No, obviously not, he was under the influence of whatever those shitty amanto had done to him. But why did Gintoki feel like he was being mocked, or teased? And why was he suddenly so aware of the closing distance between them?

"Y-Yeah, focus on… me first." Gintoki sort of stuttered his way through a reply, he couldn't help how the heat emanating from Hijikata's body was what he was focusing on now, making heat climb up his neck and ears in turn.

Even in such close quarters Hijikata managed to charge at him with force, but Gintoki was able to dodge, jumping up while pulling down his sword, only to have him block it. They clashed, but Hijikata did have the advantage since he didn't want to hurt him.

Out of the blue the Vice-Chief grabbed the hem of his yukata, pulling him forward until their chests came in contact. Gintoki was so surprised at the close proximity that he let his guard down, for only a moment, and Hijikata struck his sword. Even if he had moved out of the way the tip of the blade still left a thin, horizontal line across his stomach.

Gintoki then slid one foot across the dirty ground, pushing one of his out of the way and making him trip, only to break his fall with his own body, having Hijikata crash on top of him. He grasped the collar of his jacket in his hands, willing the man to look him in the eyes.

"Oogushi- Hijikata, listen to me! You're not...this, okay, you're not! You're the stupid Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, who thinks that mayonnaise is actually any good and yells at anyone who doesn't follow the rules, you do that with me especially, and you…" From the determinate shout he had began with, his voice was turning fairly quiet as he continued, overruled by something he didn't even know the name of. "…you train without rest everyday, you always protect whoever is in need, and you will do absolutely anything for the Shinsengumi, I've seen it with my own eyes, and...dammit… you always try so hard." His voice suddenly sounded heavy to his own ears, as heavy as the lump lodged down his throat.

His tone was on the verge of pleading, Gintoki knew this, and he felt weak for it, but he felt weaker knowing he couldn't do anything for him right now. But Hijikata, taking him by surprise, suddenly ceased any struggle. Almost as if Gintoki's words were filling up his mind.

Something akin to hope burst in his chest, and he drew him closer. He was almost unaware of how his hand left the jacket, only to cup the side of his neck in a gentle hold. Hijikata's head minutely turned at the contact, but not pushing away, as if trying to comprehend what the sensation was. "Are you listening to me, Vice-Commander?" Gintoki's voice came out in a hushed murmur, despite his heavy breaths. His thumb pressed at the cold skin, making Hijikata's eyes flutter out of their own volition.

Gintoki caressed the smooth skin, thumbing at the vein in his neck and Hijikata's expression changed, mouth pressing in a line and eyebrows furrowing, as if he was going through another struggle altogether.

"Hijikata?" The man's breath hitched, his eyes slowly finding Gintoki's. And Gintoki's breath almost hitched too when he found a spark of blue among the dull black.

"…Hijikata…I…" Gintoki was hoping against hope, he really, really was, that maybe his words had managed to get through to him somehow.

But nothing was ever that simple when it came to them, was it? Gintoki cursed the universe for the umpteenth time.

Hijikata's expression shifted to neutrality in the blink of an eye, the spark of azure blue drowned in the stifling sea of darkness, and Gintoki's breath left as if it had been punched out of him.

The Vice-Commander made his next move when his sword sunk down Gintoki's left shoulder.

White hot ache surged through the samurai's body in agonizing ripples, making him slam his teeth together, hard, unable to hold in a painful grunt as he rolled to the side. Hijikata was quick and up on his feet, ready to strike at him again, but Gintoki rolled away one more time, getting back to his feet too.

Ironically enough, Gintoki thought, even if Hijikata didn't remember who he was, the man had cut him on the same shoulder he did back then when they had fought on that rooftop for the first time, during their first 'official' encounter. He pressed a hand to his bleeding skin through the dizzy spell pain had cast upon him as Hijikata neared.

"I will destroy you." He hissed, and his eyes craved blood.

Gintoki had seen that look before, but it was usually slanted across the faces of his worst enemies. And now hearing those deadly words come out of Hijikata's mouth, seeing the danger his eyes threatened… it was cruel. His chest constricted, leaving him breathless.

This time Hijikata's blows had more power behind, and even if Gintoki avoided all of them he was still cut here and there, his shoulder kept throbbing annoyingly so, blood kept dripping to the ground and he was starting to see double.

Well, it was high time someone put a stop to this once and for all.

"Hey Gorilla! You ready over there!?" Gintoki called out, though he felt tidbits of uneasiness, akin to guilt, seeing as how a fight had broken out because of the weapon he had brought, and Kondo was right in the middle of it.

It was almost impossible to take a secure hold of it, whenever someone tried they were immediately ambushed, the weapon kicked here and there as if they were playing a game with it. But Kondo had had enough, and he decided enough was enough, and he told himself this was now or never, and he gripped the sword in his fist, holding it firmly and assertively in front of him, slashing at the aliens as he made a full turn in place.

It was enough time for him to get down on hands and knees, then fully lie on the ground, fingers finally reaching the cold and smooth surface of the weapon. Closing an eye to focus, the Commander of the Shinsengumi finally directed his aim at his best friend. And pulled the trigger.

The room was washed in a bright, blinding glow that reached everything it found.

Leaving a green hue in its wake, the light finally faded. And whoever had been hit by the amanto's weapon dropped to their knees, passing out.

Hijikata's eyes rolled back, sword slipping out of his bloodied hand as he fell unconscious. He would have fallen to the ground too, if not for Gintoki's swift reflexes as he reached out to hold him up with his good arm.

Gintoki didn't notice how he let out a silent sigh of relief, and he didn't even notice how he carefully held Hijikata closer to himself, almost cradling him as the man's head came to rest on his shoulder. What he took notice of, however, was that this was finally over.

"No! No! No! Thiz izz not pozzible! It'z not!"

"Quick! Shhhhooot again!"

The two aliens tried, but it was useless. Their weapon didn't work on anyone anymore.

Gintoki carefully crouched down, leaving Hijikata to rest against the wall and making sure not to hurt him further in the process. His grip on the handle of his bokuto tightened painfully, but with the fringe falling over his eyes it was impossible to gauge what expression he was wearing. When he got to his feet again, his sword was pointing at the two amanto.

A smirk slowly broke to the surface, voice coming out quietly and still deafening in the silence of the deserted warehouse. "I've been told a bunch of 'vips' were waiting for the Shiroyasha to liven up this party." His tone had a lethal quality to it and suddenly the two aliens were hugging each other in fright before he'd even made his first move. "And I'll have you know I've made a habit of keeping my word."

Gintoki's smirk grew razor-edge sharp when he finally looked up and his eyes blazed so intensely scarlet they might as well have been glowing pools of blood.

---

A short while later the police and fire department finally arrived at the scene, and help was soon on its way. Whoever was critically injured had to urgently be taken to the hospital, while the more fortunate ones, after some questioning, followed in police cars.

For a moment, as they took Hijikata and Sougo away, Gintoki felt the searing urge to climb up in the ambulance after them. But that role expected to Kondo, not to him.

It was strange but it made Gintoki feel somewhat at a loss, though he couldn't exactly understand why.

---

The sunlight of the afternoon bled into the night, but no one seemingly noticed, spending hour after hour inside the hospital. Most of the men were treated, a few of them had to have surgery too. Kondo, being wound up so tight with worry, had even forgotten to question Gintoki about how he had known of their whereabouts and the raid.

Gintoki did spent the night at the hospital too, along with Kagura, Shinpachi and Otae. As soon as the kids had heard from Gengai what had happened, the affair had already been covered by the news, and then one thing led to another, and now here they were.

Apart from the wound on his shoulder that had needed stitching, every other graze was superficial enough for him to be treated quickly. He had complained about it to the nurse, of course, who had been torn between maintaining her patience and losing her composure at his childish antics, but what could he do when he loathed, loathed the sting of the needle and… he hadn't wanted for anyone to even take a look at him in the first place! He was already anxious enough as it was from waiting outside the operating room where they were performing surgery on Hijikata, why would he even want to walk on the other side of the hospital just to have nurses and doctors poke and prod at him?

But apparently being injured and inside a hospital didn't exactly work in his favor, especially when the medics were the ones who ruled here and not the poor patients who just wanted to be left in peace so they could maybe brood coolly (sulk in an uncool way). They didn't leave him be until he was all patched up instead and Gintoki was a tiny bit mad over this, couldn't they go and help Hijika- wait, no, he didn't mean it like- not that he was thinking about him only- no- just- couldn't they just go and help all the other patients who actually needed the help instead of wasting their time while wasting his too?

He was also advised to rest the night, then he could probably get discharged soon if his wound healed correctly - as if he was going to leave anytime soon. But, needless to say, Gintoki was not able to close his tired eyes for a second, not like he even wanted to, his weary subconscious was not drained enough, too busy keeping him up with worst case scenarios.

While he and the kids were seated on the uncomfortable chairs, Kondo was busy pacing when he wasn't going back and forth to stand outside the rooms of his luckier and more unlucky comrades. Gintoki felt a little bad for him, honestly, but even if there were people in critical conditions, thankfully no one had died, and this at least lessened the weight off the man's shoulders.

Although the Commander couldn't seem to calm down. He couldn't sit still for even a minute, and whoever said that pacing helped was a dirty liar because it clearly wasn't doing anything for him.

Waiting was, simply put, fucking unnerving.

And Kondo wasn't the only one who was suffering the consequences, it seemed. Otae was being subjected to new levels of frustration, which were enough for her get up and do something about it.

"Enough already!" She marched up to Kondo, grasped his wrist in an unrelenting hold and dragged him away.

Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura were left staring at the scene, blinking owlishly. Two of their heads turned.

"They-They'll be fine." Shinpachi answered the silent question of his colleagues, slightly unsure himself at his sister's sudden actions. "…Probably."

---

Kondo was shoved inside a small room, only in a second moment registering the 'click' of the door. He slowly turned around when the snap of latex gloves filled his ears, and he gulped, feeling his mouth going dry at the way Otae was striding forward, step by step.

Had he done something to make her mad? Well, there was their 'encounter' the day before- or had it been two days now?- but wasn't she simply pretending to be annoyed in that endearing way of hers? (if Otae could hear his thoughts now she would probably skin him alive) He tried to think of other instances, but with the slight fear (and just the tiniest bit of excitement) gripping at him he was drawing a blank.

"Um… Otae-Chan?" He asked out loud, though he wasn't even sure what he was really asking here.

She clicked her tongue. "Don't worry idiot, I won't murder you."

Kondo's eyes turned into cartoonish dots as he tilted his head, blinking in confusion at her words. "…Eh?"

"Sit." She ordered.

And he was quick to follow with the order, only now noticing the examination table and Otae rifling through a cabinet. He was… slightly confused.

"Uh, why are we-"

"Your untreated wounds."

The answer snapped his mouth shut faster than anything else could have. And here he thought nobody had noticed how he had sneaked away in the middle of being prodded and poked at. But his injuries weren't life-threatening, they didn't even bother him, truth to be told he was too in over his head to notice anything else but the pain of his comrades. Apparently, this had not escaped Otae's watchful gaze.

He let out a sigh, something between frustration and gratefulness. Frustration because he didn't want to be a bother to anyone but… here they were.

…Actually, where were they anyway? And most importantly, were they even allowed?

"How do you…"

"I have a friend who works here." Was the simple explanation she offered, and Kondo nodded and took it in stride. But Otae kept staring at him now, arching a brow. "Well?"

Kondo lifted his shoulders, not understanding. "…Well?"

She held back an eye roll, he could tell. "Are you going to take off your clothes or do I have to take them off of you?"

Kondo's mind wiped out… and a little grin grew across his face. "Will you strip me-"

Otae suddenly smiled, syrupy sweet. "I'm spoiled of choice here with all these syringes laying around. And I am not above using them."

"Mercy please!" Previous boldness forgotten, he squeaked in actual fear, quickly shedding himself of his vest and under shirt, as his bloodied jacket was in the waiting area with the Yorozuya trio.

Without another word, Otae immediately set to work. There was something incredibly methodical about what she was doing, which made him think this definitely wasn't the first time she did this.

And for all the strength she possessed, and showed off, which Kondo adored even when it was directed at him, Otae was being… incredibly gentle.

Her touch was feather-like, not meant to hurt. Only meant to take the pain away.

The agonizing tension inside him, bit by bit, started fading with every soft swipe of disinfectant and gauze and Kondo…. let himself get taken care of, something that had not happened in a long, long while.

The last person who had treated him this kindly had been Mitsuba, so helpful and sweet, someone they could always, always rely on. And thinking about her little brother, and the man she loved, and all her friends, now hurt or in critical conditions…

…Kondo wondered if she would be disappointed in him.

The heavy thought brought a fresh batch of hurt rippling down his core, stinging in his eyes. He quickly tried to blink it away.

Otae's eyes lifted, slowly, witnessing the ruefulness softening his expression. And just as suddenly she had a hunch as to what was going on through his head. "I can hear you thinking." She whispered, lowering her gaze once again.

Kondo seemed embarrassed to get caught, he let out a soft cough and rubbed the back of his head in a way that was sheepish as he avoided her eyes. "…Heh, sorry."

She scoffed under her breath, as if to say 'you don't need to apologize for that, stupid', but she didn't add any more to the subject.

"They will be fine." She said instead, this time finding his eyes with a sort of resolution and stubbornness that he knew could only belong to her. "They will be fine." She repeated, unfaltering in her resolve. "So focus on yourself for now."

Kondo's lips parted slightly as he was left to gape at her, this time blinking back the tears for another reason altogether, because… because she cared. It wavered, but it still was a smile that he was sporting when his eyes filled up again and he nodded, somewhat choked up. "…Yes."

Otae let out a soft, weary sigh. But a little smile was directed right back at him.

---

Once they got back Gintoki noticed a new layer of bandages and plasters was covering Kondo, which had definitely not been there before, and he turned questioning eyes to Otae, to which she only replied with a delicate shake of the head as she took her seat next to Shinpachi.

Gintoki had lost track of time, but he estimated that at least a couple of hours went by before the wait finally came to an end. He was only able to catch a glimpse of Hijikata in the gurney as he was moved to the room where he would be spending his recovering days in, but his stomach still dropped at the sight. His skin was so terribly pale.

Kondo immediately set to ask the doctor a thousand questions, who promptly answered with a reassuring smile and told them what they so desperately had needed to hear, that the surgery had proceeded without complications and even if severe the wounds were not fatal, and if no further complication arised during the night the Vice-Commander might wake up sometime around tomorrow. Simply put, Hijikata was out of danger.

The sigh of relief Kondo breathed was almost as loud as the one the Yorozuya trio and Otae let out. The news of Sougo and fellow comrades following Hijikata's same direction was even more relieving.

The five of them all shared a look. And then they shared a smile.

'They will be fine.'

---

Now…

Kagura wouldn't admit it (well, she probably would if she was bribed with enough food)… but she liked the Shinsengumi. She liked the people in the Shinsengumi. They were funny at times, they were entertaining, she had fun messing up the barracks sometimes, and she had fun messing with them, and she liked them. And even if she had not shown it- or tried not to show it- even if she wanted to look strong… she was worried. Especially after seeing Sougo stretched unconscious over a gurney, covered in blood.

She had waited up all night- anxiously, and she had been good, but now the night was finally, finally over and Kagura was scheming.

There had been light chatter for a while now, Otae and Shinpachi had started talking as soon as they had noticed Gintoki's unusual silence, trying to engage him in the conversation and keep his mind busy with easy topics. And come morning Otae had disappeared, returning only a short while later. She had brought fresh fruits, even going as far as peeling and serving the multi-coloured slices to everyone, the men of the Shinsengumi included -Kondo had been so moved he had started sobbing- and whilst the brunette was holding everyone's attention… Kagura sneaked away.

(She suspected Otae knew, and she would usually thank her dear Anego for her unconditional support, but this was a matter she wanted to avoid and ignore altogether. Though Kagura suspected Otae knew this too.)

Making sure that nobody noticed her, she launched herself into the search of a specific room. She felt somewhat like the detectives she saw on television, especially since she had no idea where she had to go, and asking others for help was a big no since she didn't want to be asked any questions she wouldn't know how to answer. The best way to go, she decided at last, was stalk the nurses' station until one of them mentioned the room's number. And… they did!

After quickly making her way to the destination, once she was finally in front of the door, Kagura… stopped.

To be quite honest she didn't know why she was here… she only knew that she felt this sudden and overwhelming need, and she needed to see for herself. Her heart kept beating out of rhythm and there was a light tremble running through her hands. She had no idea what to expect.

Slowly, slowly, she put her hand on the handle and, after taking a deep breath in, she quietly opened the door. What she immediately took notice of was how the space wasn't very illuminated since the curtains were drawn, keeping most of the sunlight from coming in even if the sun had just started to peek over the horizon. The room in itself was simple enough, with typical furniture found inside a hospital room, but what caught the eye of whoever walked in was the bed situated in the middle. And the person lying on it.

…Sougo.

Kagura closed the door behind her soundlessly and she softly padded in. Uncertainty accompanied her every step. Putting one foot in front of the other, she tried to match the pace with her slow breaths, until she reached the padded chair near the side of the bed. She was a little unsure on what to do now, but when she saw Sougo's chest rising and falling steadily- somehow that was enough to make her heart beat less erratically, and enough for her to decide to sit.

He was covered in bruises and bandages alike, and his skin was almost the same shade as the white sheets he was covered with. Kagura had seen him injured before, in some cases she had even contributed to a few injuries herself, but she had never seen him quite… like this.

Something about it felt undeniably… wrong. And she didn't like it one bit.

After another slow inhale-exhale, she tried to find a way to let out the storm of words that had been clouding her mind ever since she had first seen him before his surgery. She glanced down at her hands in her lap, playing with her fingers, not wanting to risk a look at his face. Since he was still asleep it would be fine for her to say these things... right?

Kagura's voice came out in a whisper. "...You're a stupid idiot, you know that? Stupid, stupid. Stupid."

Well, this was off to a good start.

"You have to be ca-cou-ch- cautuis- uh… good in fights!" She stuttered out before raising her voice in frustration, not really remembering how the word 'cautious' was pronounced, most probably due to her nerves. "Especially in fights with the amanto, aru! They're strong! No, not just them, everyone is stronger than you, you… you weak idiot!" But despite her intonation, the words still remained fairly quiet. "Umm, Anego told me that Gori-Chan told her that you sort of… protected Mayora." She nodded to herself, hesitant at first, and then a little more confidently. "I thought you hated him, but maybe even idiots can sometimes do the right thing, so, that's good, yeah."

A little smile found its way to her lips as she remembered something. "Don't tell Gin-Chan this, but I think he's kinda happy you helped Mayora. I don't know why, he just looked… yeah, he did look happy when Anego told us what Gori told her." The smile soon dropped from her lips as she looked at anything but him, wringing her hands in her lap. "…Anyway. Don't try to die next time, okay?" She muttered something under her breath before grumbling a little louder. "I can't believe you got hurt like this, what are you, a weakling. Mmph." Her face scrunched up in annoyance.

…But being annoyed with someone injured and unconscious wasn't probably the way to go, was it?

"…You can't get yourself… killed." Kagura's voice took on a softer lilt, raising only a few octaves. "Did you stop to think I wouldn't have anyone else to fight with all the time? Huh? Did you think about that? No, you didn't. 'Cause you're a selfish idiot, hn."

If Sougo had been awake right now he would probably snort at her.

She closed her eyes as they suddenly started to burn at the thought of him waking up, her whispers turned meeker. "And I… I wouldn't have someone who... you're stupid, okay. And you're an idiot. And you're the biggest jerk ever. And you're so-" She bit on her tongue to stop the slew of insults before she exploded, seeing as the list was endless, only to add…

"…but you understand."

It was everything she had wanted to say from the start. Sometimes she felt it would be better to let him know than letting this keep aching inside of her, but sometimes she never wanted to even think about him knowing, deciding the safer option was probably keeping these sort of words to herself, but now… it was probably fine to let him know this way, it was probably safe.

"…Anyway." She blinked away the sudden haze in her mind, changing topics. "I'm always gonna win 'cause I'm the strongest, obviously, but if you don't try to die again I can let you win too… only sometimes though… okay? And I'm the only one who can kill you, so next time if anyone tries I'll kick their butts since your weak butt can't handle it. And then I'll kick your butt too. Okay? Yeah, okay." She nodded to herself, practically finishing in a rushed breath, talking as if they were having a proper conversation instead of a one-sided one.

Silence was the only answer she received in return.

Kagura felt a strange mixture of feelings inside of her, but mostly she felt awkward, sort of exposed and a little weak. A little too… vulnerable. She tried to cover it up.

"Uh… okay, good talk?" She finished just as awkwardly, before nodding again. She even patted the sheets on the edge of the bed for good measure, and answered herself. "Yeah, good talk. Bye."

She stood up abruptly. Her chest caved in with her stuttered breathing, the inhales were unsteady and she could feel water gathering at the corners of her eyes. She didn't know why she felt the way she did, she didn't understand. She brought still slightly shaky fingers up to wipe at her eyelashes. There were no tears, her eyes were just itching.

She was lost in her sea of thoughts when a hand shot out and grabbed her raised one.

Kagura yelped from the shock and her world turned upside down, that is until she found herself being pulled down on the bed.

"What was that, China? If anyone wins it's going to be me. And don't worry, I don't plan on dying in the hands of any stupid moron out there." A voice whispered somewhere above her…

…Sougo, of course.

Kagura turned to face him, utterly shocked. "W-What?! How long have you been up? How much did you hear!?" She swore could feel her cheeks growing red.

"Enough." Was the boy's unhelpful answer.

She tried to struggle, but with an arm around her he was keeping her in place. "Let me go!" She screeched, embarrassed because of what he might have heard.

"Don't wanna." He replied childishly.

She was essentially trapped in his hold.

Sougo drew even closer, words a mere whisper in her ear. "Stop moving around so much or you're gonna pull open the stitches."

At that Kagura ceased any struggle, frozen. She really, really didn't want to be the cause of that, especially considering how… how she had seen him unconscious and… unconsciously she clenched her eyes shut. No, she didn't want to cause him any more pain.

She heard him chuckle, the sound carrying over quietly, soft with barely a hint of arrogance.

And… he'd just guilt-tripped her!

"You jerk!"

Sougo smirked a little wider.

It wasn't fair! …But, it wasn't exactly surprising either and it was just like him to take advantage of the situation. When a few seconds passed by in complete silence, however, Kagura couldn't help but think it was strange. It just wasn't like them to simply stay… still and not fight over every single thing whenever they had the occasion, but now that they couldn't exactly engage in a fight… why was he even keeping her here? Shouldn't Sougo want to be as far away from her as he could?

"Ne, China, just stay put for a while. This room is too cold... and I hate the cold." Sougo's voice now sounded sleepy, most probably from whatever medication was in his system. And Kagura… well, she didn't feel like struggling anymore or putting up a fight.

Plus, she had never really heard him sound so... quiet.

Even if Sougo took his arm away when she kept still, his chest was pressed against her back and her head was tucked beneath his chin, close enough for Kagura to feel a few strands of his hair grazing her cheek. With the tension dissipating, she ended up letting a giggle out.

"Mmh... what?" Sougo asked groggily, only one eyelid half-way open to peek at her.

"Just…" She answered with laughter still tingling in her voice. "Your hair's tickling me."

Sougo huffed quietly, as if amused, and shifted to get more comfortable, making her move a little too. "Just shut up and sleep already." He murmured quietly, but without any bite to his tone.

"You shut up." Kagura whispered back, because she just had to have the last word.

Sougo really did snort this time. "Nah… you shut up." He sounded quiet, and like he couldn't keep the smallest of smiles out of his voice, and he also sounded so sleepy and…

(…adorable?)

Kagura blinked quickly, shaking her head carefully (so she wouldn't bump his) to get rid of… that thought. She had spent the entire night awake, having strange thoughts was probably normal given the circumstances.

Besides, now, without any tension, without any fight, without the worry keeping her up, the fatigue started washing over her in waves, pulling her under. It didn't take long from when she closed her eyes, to when she fell asleep. But before completely fading in a deep slumber, she thought the idiot might have been right about the cold.

Because now the room felt warmer.

---

Kondo was currently in Hijikata's hospital room, tired beyond belief from the day's previous events. So tired in fact he was almost falling asleep on the chair. He had no clue about the passing of time, but it felt like every minute that went by made his eyes grow heavier.

…That was, until he saw fingers twitching.

"Toshi?!"

Alright, now he was fully awake.

On the bed Hijikata started stirring. His eyelids scrunched, before slowly, slowly lifting, not fully opening and closing soon after as he adjusted to the dim light inside the room.

Finally, he managed to open his eyes more than a sliver. He slowly but surely took in his new surroundings, feeling quite disoriented because everything was just so… white. He tried to recall the last thing he had done, and what came to mind was the raid they had planned, the stupid aliens taking them by surprise and then… Kondo…

Hijikata jolted on the spot, heart frantic as he tried to move, but firm hands held him securely in place. "Hey, hey, easy there, Toshi. You don't want to hurt yourself any more, do you?"

As soon as the voice registered, as soon as he saw Kondo beside him, the relief practically crashed over Hijikata and almost unconsciously he let himself fall back. His best friend was here, and he was okay.

But then he took in the few bandages and bruises, frowning. He tried to speak but his throat clamped up uncomfortably, feeling raw, and when he licked his dry and cracked lips the metallic and bitter taste filled his mouth, making him grimace.

Kondo seemed to understand immediately because a glass of water was soon filling his line of vision. Hijikata drank a few sips, with Kondo's careful help, until half of the glass was empty and, as the fresh water soothed his lips and throat, breathing almost felt easier.

"...Wha-What happened…?" He croaked out, and even if his voice was hoarse and his throat still felt scratchy, at least this one was a mildly successful attempt.

Kondo regarded him with a kind smile, but hesitated. "…Uh, well…"

"…Kondo-San." Hijikata's tone was a medley between 'please tell me everything' and 'no bullshitting around it'.

Kondo let out a somewhat uncomfortable sigh. "...Do you remember the raid?"

Hijikata tried to nod, though his head hurt a bit, but as with the rest of his body this was mostly a dull, distant kind of ache.

Kondo then explained what happened, he tried to spare him the most gruesome details, his desire to protect him as strong as ever… but with him you couldn't really beat around the bush, the Vice-Commander wouldn't let you.

"-and when they aimed for me you… you were the one to take the hit. You protected me and you risked your own life for it." There was a hard edge to his tone, but it wasn't directed at him, it was directed at himself. "Toshi, I already told you a thousand times-"

"Kondo-San." Hijikata's voice was surprisingly clear for someone who had been through a kind of full forty-eight hours like his. "…I've told you a thousand times too."

Kondo faced away, fists clenching. No matter how many times he had told them, these fools never listened, and he adored them for it and at the same time loathed himself, because he was supposed to protect them. And here they were again, putting their lives on the line for him.

"…You turned into someone else." Kondo uttered in a voice so low it was barely above a breath, still not able to meet his eyes, but drawing in Hijikata's attention. "You… didn't really understand what was going on and-" He stopped himself.

Hijikata's memory came back in bits and pieces with every word he listened to, but he could only remember to the point of being shot, then everything went black. But being under their control… it wasn't too difficult to imagine what they might have asked him to do. He must have hurt someone. The thought had guilt engulfing him in its claws, suffocating him.

Kondo, sensing his distress, was quick to continue. "But you don't have to worry, everyone is doing great now! There were no deaths during this raid and that's what matters!"

At the good news, and at the effort Kondo was putting in, he tried to smile even if he didn't feel inclined to do so. But he could try.

"It's sort of a miracle, actually, you know?" When Hijikata turned questioning eyes to him, he elaborated. "Just when we thought we couldn't do it, we were rescued by the Yorozuya himself." Kondo chuckled, remembering the samurai's entrance. "Can you believe it?"

…Oh.

Well, no, Hijikata couldn't really. He was too surprised to even blink. "…What?"

"Yes!" Kondo exclaimed happily, as if talking about an exciting movie he had recently seen. "He found a way to reverse the effects! It was thanks to him that you came back to us, along with everyone else who was affected. He got a bit roughed up too, but he's fine now. And even Tae-Chan came to check on us, can you believe that?!" He almost shrieked as a dreamy look took over his face, clearly more excited about her than anything else.

Hijikata was taken a bit off guard and ended up letting out a chuckle, or what resembled a raspy chuckle anyway. But after a moment he couldn't help but focus on the rest of his words.

The Yorozuya, the idiot, the moron… not only had he shown up, but he had apparently saved them. Even after… even after Hijikata had treated him like crap the other day… and he had ended up getting hurt too? Had he…

"I… did I h-hurt him?" Hijikata all but blurted out. He couldn't put a lid over his mouth, the apprehension in his tone was unmistakable.

Kondo faltered.

Hijikata felt his breath leave his lungs in a rush and an invisible weight crushed him, making him feel as if he had just been punched.

"Uh, hey." Kondo tried with the same cheerful approach. "He's fine now, okay? And you should think about yourself. You need rest and-"

"...Kondo-San." Hijikata interrupted him, voice as intransigent as it was vacillating, but he needed to know. He needed to.

Kondo saw it in his eyes, and letting out a heavy exhale, he relented. "Toshi, you… were fighting against us. And we tried but… we couldn't stop you. Sakata was- he burst in right when we were losing hope, and he was the one to stop you. He kept you from going against anyone else, fighting with you himself." His expression changed as he was quick to point out. "But he didn't do anything that could hurt you!"

As if with everything that happened Hijikata would even get mad if he had done the opposite.

"And he was the one who took it upon himself to fight the amanto in the end. You should have seen him, he was- he was like…" This time when Kondo faltered it was because of the actual enthusiasm, his eyes were practically shining as he couldn't find the words to describe the memories. "You should have seen that Toshi, not even their own mothers will be able to recognize those criminals now!"

"Are they…"

"Nah, they're not dead. Miraculously enough." Kondo said with a grin. But he scratched at his cheek, looking almost nervous for a second. "Though they are… severely injured."

"I see." Hijikata mumbled, trying to imagine how battered the aliens would be after a fight against Gintoki. Well, not like they didn't deserve it.

Kondo's reassuring smile returned.

"You know, he stayed here all night."

Hijikata glanced up in confusion, suddenly losing his train of thought. "…Who?"

"The Yorozuya, who else." Kondo answered around a hearty laugh.

Hijikata blinked a few times in quick succession, utter shock filling him up to the tip of his ears. "…What?" One worded questions seemed to be more of his forte right now.

Kondo nodded. "Ah-uh, after being rushed here, you and-" He pondered if it was the case to tell Hijikata about who else had also been severely hurt, but decided against it as he didn't want to put any more stress on him, taking another approach instead. "As I told you, you had to have surgery. After the Yorozuya was treated for his own wounds he was advised to rest. Instead he waited until you were out, and then waited all night outside this room, too. He was actually discharged a while ago, but he's still here." His smile twisted into something slightly uncertain. "Seems to me like you two might have something to talk about after all and… can I send him in?"

The expression Hijikata made in that moment was probably horrified, but it was only due to the utter and complete surprise. What Kondo was saying seemed surreal enough, almost as if he was stuck in a dream.

"Hey, it's fine, it's okay. If you're not up for it then I'll tell him it's better to-"

But as Kondo kept talking, Hijikata's mind kept wandering. He was… well, for one, he was speechless. And two… he actually felt bad. He owed the perm head at least one conversation, especially after what had happened the other day, when Hijikata had categorically refused to talk to him and now… now he really needed to fix that. And, as much as he wouldn't want to admit it any other day, Gintoki's intervention truly seemed to have been the key to their salvation and he needed to acknowledge this. Because without him… what would have even happened? Would they have died? Would he have died? Would they have all fallen under the amanto's control? …Well, now these were questions he thankfully didn't need to find an answer to.

"…F-Fine." Hijikata said all of a sudden.

Kondo's mouth snapped shut, now it was his turn to be confused. "Uh… fine?"

Hijikata sighed, turning to look the opposite way. "You can… send him in."

Was he feeling uncomfortable now of all times? And what was this… sudden warmth climbing up his neck and ears?

"Oh. Oh, yes. Okay!" Kondo brightened up, probably assuming the two of them had had a fight and this was their chance to patch things up, which was… very close to the truth, actually.

But before his friend could make his way out of the door, Hijikata stopped him with something that came to mind. "Sougo... is he…?" He might probably not say it out loud, but he cared about him as if the brat was his little brother, and thinking about him being hurt…

Kondo, despite not having told him about how Sougo had tried to stop him, did give Hijikata the truth. "He woke up half an hour ago. He's busy bickering with Kagura-Chan and Shinpachi-Kun right now and for his standards I'd say he's feeling pretty good." He chuckled before a genuine smile lit up his face.

Hijikata let out a breath he had been unaware of holding in. Then Kondo left, quietly closing the door behind him. From the other side, his voice just drifted in as a hush, but he could detect a second one answering him, and Hijikata suddenly felt… nervous?

His heart kicked up its pace and thoughts kicked around his mind and- what if he was angry with him after how Hijikata had left things off? Despite his body sort of aching everywhere right now, the thought of Gintoki being mad almost made it feel like it would just hurt more.

Hijikata waited, heart in his throat, and he waited, fingers twitching, and he waited, beads of cold sweat gathering at his nape, and he waited. And he waited. And… why wasn't the door opening already? Why was no one coming in? There was this sensation of… disappointment spreading inside him and… disappointment? …No, it couldn't be. Could it…?

As he was debating with himself on whether or not he was disappointed, the door opened soundlessly, a head of silvery curls finally crossed the threshold, closing behind him with a silent 'click'.

---

The first thing Gintoki saw was Hijikata lying in the hospital bed. He took notice of his skin, the still visible parts of it, as pale as the day before. There was a little tube peeking out from one of the bandages in his hand and more bruises and gauze than he felt comfortable seeing. But his eyes…

His eyes were blue again.

And… he couldn't, for the life of him, he couldn't stop all the words that had rented freely in his mind for the best part of the night. And they started with him pointing an accusatory finger and yelling out:

"Now listen here you little shit!"

Hijikata startled a little. (Was this what Sougo felt when he was being scolded? Impossible. Sougo didn't give a single crap… Wait. Was this how Yamazaki felt when he was being scolded? …Well, damn, this was a strange thought to have, and all of a sudden he might be feeling slightly, slightly bad for all the times he had reprimanded him?)

But, after a moment, Hijikata… deadpanned. "…Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me, mister! You're in big trouble-!" Gintoki paused, trying to gather his thoughts. "Wait, what am I even saying, I'm not a mother. Do I even sound like a mother or-"

Hijikata let out a cough, as if to say 'are you here to talk about what happened or what, because if that's not the case the door is right there', and Gintoki was suddenly reminded of why he was here in the first place.

He had to admit he did feel a little bit (a whole lot) bad too for coming in here and… basically yelling at Hijikata, who was injured, but the vomit of words just wouldn't stop now.

And hey, subtlety had completely flown out the window again and it was becoming a sort of routine by now.

"First of all, I don't care what you say, okay. I know this wasn't any of my business, and that I 'committed a crime', or whatever, when I accidentally listened to your phone call, but this- yesterday was actually dangerous! Are you even aware of that?! What if you died, huh? What then? What if the world fell in the weird amanto shaped hands of those assholes, huh? So, out of the complete goodness of my heart, like the hero that I am, I did what I had to and saved your sorry asses from scum like them!"

Hijikata, still taken aback with surprise, wore now an expression that seemed to say, 'Hero complex much?'

"No! Shut up! You have a hero complex!" Gintoki bit back childishly.

Hijikata frowned slightly and his expression now said, 'I didn't even say anything?'

"Shut up!"

Hijikata's expression now seemed to scream, 'I literally didn't say anything! What are you on about!'

But Gintoki was already carrying on. "And apparently my intervention was not in vain, so… and you should stop being this-… this selfish! Yeah, you heard me, I said it! Because if you died people would miss you, ever thought of that- wait, I'm not saying you specifically, I'm saying 'you' as in the whole Shinsengumi, as in the institution you represent, and what you guys stand for-!"

(No, he meant 'you' very specifically.)

"-and do you have any idea how damn hard it is to find the cure to something you… don't even know a crap about? The old man did the best he could to come up with it, and I did the best I could to find where you lot were hiding, and as soon as I barged in you were going fucking terminator on everyone and of course I had to do something about it. 'Cause you wouldn't have liked what happened next if I hadn't tried to stop you, so keep that in mind before you get mad again, and then your Commander put the cherry on the cake when he pulled the trigger and- and after that you passed out and- they rushed you here, the surgery, you-"

He had spat all of the word-vomit out, all in one big, rushed breath, but now the remaining words were lodged in his throat, slowing him down. "…You…in that… you could have… I-"

'…I could have lost you.' Gintoki thought.

He didn't dare say these words out loud, keeping them safe inside the corners of his mind, scared that if he did let them out of his mouth this would end up becoming too… real. Whatever this was.

He had now run out of breath with all the emotion that had rushed in, detectable in both his voice and his words.

From the hospital bed Hijikata tilted his head, as if to have a better look at him, and his eyes softened.

He didn't look angry, Gintoki thought, because he- he had thought Hijikata would get angry with him after he blurted all of this out, he thought that Hijikata would be livid, and maybe, possibly never want to speak to him again? But Hijikata didn't look angry, he didn't, and Gintoki's legs started shaking slightly.

"...I didn't mean it."

But out of everything he was expecting, he had not… expected this. "…What?"

Hijikata wasn't looking at Gintoki anymore, head now slightly tilted down and his hair somewhat hiding his eyes away as he elaborated. "How I-" He thought about his behaviour the day before (or was it two days ago?), about what he had said to him, how he had acted. How he had felt. "...What I said. I... didn't mean it." Then his eyes found Gintoki's. "...I was... kind of an asshole."

Gintoki... blinked. Until his eyes almost hurt. Because... wait what?

Without expecting an answer from him, Hijikata broke their stare off to look at the foot of the bed, at his hands, bandaged. "...If you- if you had not shown up yesterday I- we-" He almost chuckled, though the edges of his eyes were warming up. "...we wouldn't be here to talk about it so... we're- no - I... I'm thankful for your intervention." His voice was low, quiet and rough, and weak. But he felt every word he said, because they were real. His eyes flit back to Gintoki. "...and I'm thankful for... how you tried to h-help me."

…Oh.

And Gintoki thought-

Oh.

Hijikata was- he had just- not only was he not angry at him, but he had… thanked him. Hijikata had just thanked him. And the shaking climbed up to the tips of his fingers now.

And maybe this was another one of those strange reactions he was having lately, but Gintoki's heart felt like it could burst right out of his chest. He never imagined something like this happening, he couldn't have even guessed it in a million years before coming in, and even if his knees still felt kind of weak now his chest felt kind of full.

Gintoki abruptly faced away, waving a dismissive hand in the air. "Pssh, it was nothin'." This was what he said in response to Hijikata- to the Demonic Vice-Commander- thanking him.

He felt like punching something, preferably himself- but he couldn't help it, he just felt... awkward... all of a sudden… he had no clue what to say!

But Hijikata seemed to know, because he was looking at him through his thick lashes and his eyes seemed kind of full too, of something Gintoki still couldn't decipher but that he might like.

"...And I won't die, moron." The Vice-Commander's voice now took on that irritated note that was so familiar to the two of them, mixing in with a bit of exasperation. "You're gonna have to do a lot worse than that to get rid of me." A tiny mixture of a smile and a smirk was now playing by his lips. "...From what I recall, until now I've only been d-defeated by an obnoxious perm head."

Gintoki couldn't control the laughter that ripped out from somewhere deep inside his ribcage and... he felt so, so much lighter. "...Damn right." He ended up whispering with a bit of a smile and a smirk of his own.

Finally, he noticed the chair that had been beside the bed all along, and almost on autopilot he walked right to it, taking a seat. "...So." He began, still feeling somewhat awkward, but he actually wanted to know the answer to this question. "How... do you feel?" It was strange if he thought about it, sitting here and making light conversation with Hijikata, given their usual 'talks' (endless bickering). But it was one good kind of strange, and he didn't mind. He didn't mind at all.

Hijikata stared at the ceiling as if in contemplation, and his face slightly scrunched up with the effort. "...Like I've been run over by a truck. No, a hundred trucks. With a hundred elephants on top."

Gintoki did feel bad for him (he did so much when he remembered those pool black eyes staring back at him), but from Hijikata's tone it sounded like he was fed up and used to it at the same time. It was sort of amusing, making him want to laugh again.

"On the bright side, you're already inside a hospital." He cracked a little joke.

Hijikata turned unimpressed eyes to him, but there was a small, small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, we've got a tough crowd today, I see." He continued joking and Hijikata turned the other way to hide a wider smile, but Gintoki caught it and his own grin felt stuck to his face.

His hand was resting on the side of the bed, he didn't even know when he had put it there in the first place, but Hijikata was now looking at it, and Gintoki was looking at him, and he just wanted to make sure that he... that he was real, he wanted to make sure so badly. And he wanted to make sure that his wounds were healing, and that this wasn't all just a dream, and that they weren't still back to what had felt like hell.

But he felt weird thinking this, and he kept thinking that if he tried to reach for him Hijikata might pull away like he had done the last time they had seen each other, despite what he had told him just now, so he busied himself with crumpling the sheets in his loose fist for lack of anything better to do... or maybe it was because of his nerves.

But then Hijikata zeroed in on Gintoki's fist, and on the large band-aid held in place by some gauze, and his almost forgotten guilt came back with vengeance, making it harder to breathe... was he the cause of…?

"…Yesterday." Hijikata broke the silence, searching Gintoki's eyes with his. "I... hurt you…?" His question- was it even a question at this point- tapered off in a hush, but the want to hear the answer from Gintoki himself almost burned him.

Hijikata's hand moved towards his, not touching but oh so close.

Gintoki lips parted in surprise at the direct question (maybe surgery, or whatever he was on now, might have slightly messed with Hijikata's head?), but what truly caught him off guard was what he read across his face.

Before Hijikata might have been concerned over what had happened, but this now was pure guilt. Had Kondo told him… or rather, Hijikata could have drawn his own conclusions. Well, whatever the case, Gintoki had another urge, and it was to wipe that expression off of his face. He was still not completely sure as to why, but he wanted to. And going with his gut instead of going crazy overthinking seemed like such a great option most of the time, especially now of all times.

Gintoki moved his hand, until it lightly brushed against Hijikata's, careful. It was a point of contact meant for reassurance.

And Hijikata looked at him a little wide-eyed, bewildered at the unexpected gesture, before slowly but boldly reaching forward to touch. At first his fingers brushed against the hidden skin in the lightest of ways, until, between his thumb and forefinger, he grasped at the smooth fabric of his yukata and held on.

Gintoki was somehow astonished and amazed at the progression. The worried furrow in his brows didn't seem to lessen but instead of it being him, this time Hijikata was the one who was drawing closer first. And he was touching him. Well, not him exactly, but the hem of his yukata, and this was already more than he could have imagined happening today, or ever. And, he realized, he had to give him an answer before the words clogged up his throat and he ended up choking on them.

"This is just a scratch." His voice, even if quiet, was so firm and steadfast it surprised the both of them. "You should think about yourself, you know? I'm not the one who had to have surgery, and I'm definitely not the one who lost half of my body weight in blood-"

The corners of Hijikata's lips pulled down at the same time he pulled on Gintoki's sleeve, almost childishly so. "I didn't lose half of-"

But Gintoki interrupted his interruption (though he couldn't help but try to hold back a smile at how the man's expression twisted up even more). "-and things are back to normal now, so no need to cry over spilled strawberry milk here-"

"Cry- strawberry- what are you even saying-"

"-and that's why you should now focus on resting." Gintoki finished with his very reassuring bit, if he said so himself.

Hijikata's confusion was clearly splayed across his face, but at least after hearing what Gintoki had to say, and seeing that he seemed to be as fine as ever, the guilt did lessen its claws on him.

And Gintoki, seeing Hijikata deflate a bit, seeing his eyelids turn a little heavy with his reassurance, had another urge to… just… want to make him feel better? Without even thinking twice about it his free hand, the left, was one second on the bed, and the next it was hovering over Hijikata's head. A gentle touch, cautious of his injuries, and Gintoki was reminded of the fight, of when he'd thought Hijikata had heard him, of how he had gently pressed his thumb against his pulse point to make sure some part of Hijikata was still there with him.

Overcome with a sudden, overwhelming weight of… something, Gintoki ran his fingers through his hair with tenderness he wasn't even aware he was capable of.

…You had to give it to the man though, even after being through that kind of fight and with a surgery on top Hijikata's hair was just so smooth. It should actually be classified as a talent, it really should. And Gintoki, in that moment, decided he liked the feeling of the smooth strands on the pads of his fingers. He liked it.

"You guys are safe and sound now, alright? And someone, not me, but someone might even say you managed to keep all of Oedo safe?" Since he had heard from the kids and Otae what they had already covered on the news.

Hijikata, who had just sat there, shock-still and propped against the pillows, finally, finally, let himself start to relax under the soft ministration, tilting his head ever so slightly to peer at Gintoki through heavy eyes, with that hint of familiar annoyance, now mixed with all this new and fresh wave of unfamiliar gratitude he had for the man next to him. "…Aren't you the one who did that?"

"Ooh, what's this? Is the Demonic Vice-Commander sharing the praise with someone else?" Gintoki's lips quirked in a grin as he pretended to have a look around. "I gotta check, is the world still turning? Did the earth just fall? Has the sea frozen over?"

Hijikata raised his eyes to the ceiling, feeling them actually hurt in their sockets, but no one could deny him an eye-roll, not even having his chest almost split open. "…Aren't you the one who always takes the praise for himself?"

"Oi, oi, why did I just get the impression you're making me sound like a sponger?"

Hijikata arched a brow beneath the bandage, not uttering anything else.

"Hey!" Gintoki exclaimed, pretending to be offended and about to put on a show of how he'd just walk out the door-

But Hijikata gripped his yukata tighter, and pulled, as if really believing Gintoki would up and leave him like this. And instead of his sleeve, it felt like his heart was the one being held onto, because it started drumming in his chest, and the thumpthumpthump was everything that filled Gintoki's ears for a few seconds.

"…I wasn't." Hijikata said, not exactly truthful, but meant to placate him.

Gintoki bit on the inside of his cheek, tried to keep his facial muscles in check, but he couldn't keep the smile undercover. He sat back on the chair, moving the hand on the bed closer to Hijikata whilst his other hand kept threading gently through his dark locks. Hijikata's head lolled to the side, as if following him.

"I think what matters now is that everyone's fine, don't you?" This time he did let a cocky grin slip to the surface. "Besides… you're gonna have to do a lot worse than that to get rid of me."

Hijikata closed his eyes and snorted quietly in the back of his throat, amused, and suddenly wanting to have complete control of his limbs just to put an arm over his eyes, somehow simultaneously feeling done with Gintoki and sort of embarrassed at having his words repeated back to him.

"And now go back to dreamland Vice-Chief, or your Commander will go batshit crazy with worry and strangle me."

Hijikata was almost tempted to let that happen and see how it would play out, but he wasn't that mean, because he knew that if Kondo was concerned… then nothing could stop him, sometimes he was scary like that.

He opened his eyes a fraction, only for a second, just to see Gintoki again, before letting them fall shut and letting himself fall under. Between his fingers he was still holding the fabric, just a little tighter. Gintoki in all answer stroked a thumb down his forehead, down his temple, fingers slowly massaging his scalp.

And, after the tremendous couple of days, Hijikata for a change felt actually good, so good he had no desire to even move an inch, let alone think, because nothing mattered but Gintoki's presence, and Gintoki's sleeve in his hand, and Gintoki's hand in his hair. (…He would definitely have time to freak out over this later, much, much later, maybe even have a whole chapter dedicated to a freak out session, but not now.)

It didn't take long for the pull of exhaustion to put Gintoki under, too. And with how at ease he finally was, he didn't notice how he crumpled in on himself, or how his eyes slipped shut, as soon as his head hit the mattress right beside Hijikata's torso he was out.

Even unconscious they didn't dislodge their respective holds, hands not leaving each other any time soon. And for the first time in what had been a week both of them had a completely restful sleep.

---

. . .

a/n: I wanted to draw a parallel between Kagura and Gintoki with Sougo and Hijikata, also I wanted to add in Otae's caring side too so... yeah, I'm kind of satisfied with this chapter :)