Here With Me

At work, Miranda walked out of a patient's room, pulling off her scrub cap and sighed deeply. Somehow, she managed to finish charting what had happened during surgery without drawing attention to the feelings swirling in her stomach and the pain aching in her chest. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she walked to the locker room, getting ready to go home. In the car, she could barely see through her tears. "Jesus," she said to herself as she pulled over to let a few fall. Miranda wiped them away and continued her drive home. She really hoped that Ben was out because she didn't want him to see her like this. She'd had bad days before, but nothing like this. Thankfully, she walked in and searched the entire place, glad that he wasn't there. In her room, she broke down, muffling her cries in a pillow. When Ben knocked on her door, she lay still.

"I know you're in there," he said. Miranda shifted her jaw. "Callie called me. She told me what happened." Listening to him talk, she started crying again. "Babe… do you need anything? A hug? Food? Do you want to talk? I can just be quiet."

She used her sheet to wipe her face, glad that it was dark and he wouldn't be able to see her face and how puffy it probably was. "The door is open," she said softly.

Ben rushed in the room, walking over to her. She took a deep breath and sat up. He moved next to her and she crumpled in his arms. No longer sobbing, but her tears flowed freely. Miranda knew he wanted to ask about what'd happened. And she wanted to tell him but the words wouldn't come. "It's okay." He smoothed her shoulder.

Half an hour later, while they were laying in bed, Miranda pulled herself from his chest. "I lost a patient." He was silent. "But not just any patient. My favorite patient. One I've had since…," she sighed, "since I was an intern. He is… was very near and dear to my heart."

"What's his name?"

She swallowed. "Jeremiah Tate."

"Jeremiah," he echoed.

Miranda rubbed her face. "He had cystic fibrosis," she continued. "I was so clueless. And he helped me through it. Imagine that. Someone knowing more than me. And a patient at that!" A chuckle left her body and it physically hurt. He smiled. "I don't like this feeling."

"I know."

"And I don't like you seeing me like this, hon."

"Like what?"

"Vulnerable."

He hugged her, kissing the side of her head. "I'm your boyfriend. If you can't be vulnerable with me, who can you be vulnerable with?"

"Myself."

"Really?"

She looked at him. "Yes! I would rather keep it all in. It's what I've always done."

"You don't have to do it by yourself anymore."

"This may not last," she said wiping her eyes. Her lips flapped as she struggled to say something, to retract her statement. She touched the side of his face. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. And I know you're angry. And sad. And frustrated." He cleared his throat. "But I have no plans on making us not last." Miranda kissed his chin. "This is the real deal."

She sighed as more tears escaped. "I hope so."

Miranda Bailey could feel her boyfriend getting angsty. They'd only been dating for a couple of months and they hadn't discussed what the plans were as the six-month mark approached. Originally, she was going to find a place of her own, but wouldn't it be better for them to just continue their arrangement? But for how long? She thought about this as they drove to the airport to pick up her mother. "What should I call her? Should I have gotten flowers? Shit! Why didn't I get flowers?" Ben asked semi-freaking out.

"Relax, Ben," she laughed and his shoulders dropped. "Plus, she'll tell you what to call her based on how much she likes you."

"I don't follow."

"If she doesn't like you, she'll tell you call her ma'am." He nodded. "If she likes you, but thinks I can do better, Mrs. Bailey."

"Oh, God. I don't deserve you."

Miranda cracked up. "Stop it. You do. And if my mom really loves you, she'll tell you to call her Elena."

"Got it. My hands are so slippery."

"Well, she won't like you if you crash the car, so get it together." He pulled into a vacant spot.

Miranda saw her mother and jumped out of the car before Ben could open it for her like he usually did. "Mama!"

"My baby!" Elena said hugging her tightly. "Let me look at you." Her mother kissed both of her cheeks. "My Mandy, the doctor." Ben walked up to them. "And you must be Ben… the Ben?"

Miranda blushed. "Mama."

He stuck out his hand. "Hi. It's so nice to meet you. I love your daughter."

A combination of secondhand embarrassment and adoration fell over Miranda. "Mama, this is Ben. Ben, this is my mother, Elena Bailey. You two should remember each other from a little phone call way back when."

The mother shot her daughter a look. "Please, call me Elena."

"Thank God," Ben said bringing the woman in for a hug.

"Oh!" Elena laughed. Miranda shook her head as they got into the car. Elena insisted that her daughter ride in the front because she'd had a long flight, but Miranda knew that it was because she wanted to observe the young couple. At the apartment, they watched her mother move from room to room. "Looks good. It's nice, way better than I was expecting," she told them. Miranda had gone shopping a few days ago preparing for her mother's arrival and was not disappointed when her mother began cooking up a big meal for them. They sat down to eat and Miranda did some observing of her own. She watched her mother interact with Ben and how Ben paid her no mind, keeping his attention mostly on Elena, but held her hand beneath the table.

After dinner, Ben hugged Elena and kissed Miranda retiring to his bedroom. "Goodnight, ladies," he said flashing them a smooth smile.

She stared at her mother who just smirked. "Are you waiting for me to say something?" Elena asked.

"Of course, I am," Miranda laughed.

"He's very handsome." The youngest of the two blushed. "And very nice." They nodded. "I like him."

"Me, too," Miranda said with a wide grin. "He's a good one."

"Reminds me of your father." The surgeon gasped. "Yep. You're dating a man who is just like your father." Miranda frowned. "Hey, that's a good thing, Mandy." The women laughed. "Has there been talks of marriage?"

Exhaling, Miranda shook her head. "It's way too early for that."

"Your father and I got married after about six months and we've been married since…"

"Jesus was a boy, yeah, I got it," Miranda laughed.

Elena hit her with a pillow. "You're laughing, but your father knew what he wanted and I wanted him, so we got married."

"And you wouldn't have wanted to wait a little longer?"

Her mother shrugged. "Wouldn't have made much of a difference. I still did everything I wanted to do. I got my degree, started my career, took care of my family, raised my child. Don't tell me you don't want those things."

Miranda licked her lips. "Okay, maybe. One day. I don't know." Elena yawned. "Ready to turn in?"

"Yes. And I guess that I'm sleeping on the sofa?"

"No, you're in my room."

"So, where are you going to sleep?" Elena inquired, touching her chin.

Miranda squinted at her mother. "Is that your way of saying you want me to sleep on the sofa?"

"No. I suppose you were going to sleep with Ben?" Miranda pulled in her lips. That had been the plan. It wasn't like they were going to do anything. "I am just a guest. This is not my home, but I am your mother."

"I will sleep on the sofa, Mama," she said wanting to roll her eyes. This woman who'd spent the better part of a half hour talking to her about love and marriage didn't want her sharing a bed with a man she was in love with. It was comical.

"Good. Now that that's all settled, goodnight."

Lying on the sofa, Miranda turned on the TV, falling asleep. A few hours later, there was a hand on her shoulder. "What are you doing out here?" Ben asked sitting next to her.

"It's a story," she said fluffing the pillow beneath her head.

He rubbed his face. "Wanna switch?" Miranda poked out her lips and nodded. "Go ahead." Miranda pulled off the covers and sat up. Ben held her, kissing her. "I love you."

"You've said."

He touched her wrist and kissed her again. "I do. Now say it back or else."

Miranda smiled. "Or else what?"

His lips went to her ear. "Or I'll make you scream with your mother in the next room." Ben licked her ear and she covered her mouth. "Say it."

"I love you, too," she whispered as her body went limp. He laughed and helped her up. With one last kiss, she went into his room, falling into his covers, inhaling his scent.

Elena stayed for the week and while Ben was at work, Miranda drove her mother to the airport. "I had a really good time, Miranda," Elena told her daughter.

"Agreed."

"And thank you for respecting me."

Miranda smiled. Even being 30, her mother still made her feel like she was 14. "Yes, ma'am." They hugged and Miranda shed a tear.

"And thank Ben for me please."

"I will." They hugged again and Elena was gone.

Back home, Miranda was eating leftovers when Ben came in. "Hey, babe. Is your mom gone?"

"Yes. And she said to tell you 'thank you'." She went to put her dishes in the sink, turning on the water. "She loves you."

"Course she does. Who doesn't?"

"Don't act like you weren't scared," Miranda said as she started scrubbing.

He came up behind her, not touching her, but putting his face beside hers. "I wasn't."

A mix of a shudder and shrug took over her body. "Even so… she's not the one you need to worry about."

"Oh, yeah?" He asked, his voice gruff in her ear. "Who should I worry about?"

"William Bailey."

Ben groaned. "You're mean," he laughed kissing her cheek.

One night while they were sleeping in his room, Miranda felt him slip out of the bed. She fell asleep waiting for Ben to return. The next night, after a long night of making love celebrating the success of a difficult surgery he'd performed, she kissed his back and felt him freeze up. "You're okay?" She asked against his skin.

"Y-yeah, you just wore me out," he laughed.

In her bed a few nights later, she fell asleep with Ben behind her. Her phone buzzed, waking her. She looked around and saw Ben sitting at her desk. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Come back to bed." He came and sat next to her. "Why are you being weird? He sighed. "What?"

"It's almost been six months."

"I don't know what that means," Miranda said shaking her head. "We have not been dating for six months."

He chuckled and she cocked her head to the side. "Not us being together, but since you moved in."

"And?"

"And… I don't want you to go. I don't want you to find your own place."

Miranda could see apprehension all over his face. The thought was plaguing him. Now, all his weirdness made sense. Usually, she'd be the squirrelly one. So, it was a relief to see the tables turned. She wanted to laugh, but his true feelings for her warmed her heart. "Is that what's been bugging you?" Ben nodded. Rolling her eyes, she turned to face him. "I have no plans of moving out."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now, if you want to move out, that's on you, but I'm comfortable right here." They laughed and he placed the softest kiss on her lips. "I'm so in love with you," she said in a low voice.

"Ditto," he echoed as they went in for a longer kiss. They lay down, talking and kissing occasionally. "I am so glad you moved in here."

She was so glad that she'd found his ad and that it led to her falling in love with a man who made her heart skip and who loved her so much that he stayed up at night worrying about her. One who just had to talk to her and had to touch her. One who made her happy just at the thought of him. And maybe they wouldn't last another three months or maybe they would have a long future like the one her parents shared, but what Miranda Bailey did know was that Benjamin Warren was perfect for her. She smiled against his cheek, "You should be."

-The End-