AN: Hey guys, thank you for any favourites, follows and reviews. Here is the next instalment. Enjoy. Reviews and comments always massively appreciated.
Chapter Eight
Buck
Three Weeks Later
Emma had returned just a week ago and had agreed to take him back. She had explained to him that, although she had been deeply hurt and upset by his actions, she believed him when he said he was sorry, and that she was willing to put the past behind them and move forward.
Buck knew he should be happy. He should be ecstatic. She had forgiven him, not everything was ruined after all. But Buck didn't feel any of that, all he felt was confused and conflicted. Ever since he had returned from Vegas, he hadn't been able to get Abby out of his head. He had thought maybe if Emma came back, she would somehow replace her. In truth, it was quite the opposite. Emma returned and it was like the Abby inside his head was digging her heels in harder, refusing to be forgotten. In some ways, Buck felt quite angry with Abby, he knew it was irrational really. He hadn't spoken to Abby or attempted to make any contact with her since he left Vegas. It wasn't like she had intended to occupy his thoughts, or like she had any knowledge that that was happening at all.
The worst thing for Buck was that he wasn't just thinking about her in general, he was remembering her. At first, he remembered mostly just that night in Vegas – once he'd pieced it all together. But then he began to think back to before she went to Dublin. How it had been before Europe. How it had been when things were good. He remembered times they'd shared just with each other. He remembered making her laugh so hard she could hardly breath, he thought about how much he had liked waking up next to her, as he had stayed at hers more than he had stayed at his. He remembered how she would smile and roll her eyes if she caught him staring. He had to admit, he didn't think he'd ever been happier than he had been then. Even though she had been dealing with the increasing demands of her mother's care and almost every second date had to be cancelled or rescheduled, he had been happy. He had loved her and he didn't care if he had to reschedule a date or cancel dinner reservations to stay in, as long as he got to be with her, that was all that had mattered.
But he needed to get Abby off his mind, the wedding was just a week away. He could not possibly watch Emma walk down the aisle and then marry her, if all he could think about was Abby. It wouldn't be right. The problem was, he didn't know how to banish Abby from his mind, but more than that – he wasn't sure he wanted to. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy the memories. Stop it! he told himself. He was getting married to Emma and that was final. He'd already messed this up once, he wasn't going to do it again.
"You are one lucky son of a bitch man. I still wouldn't have told her." Chase told him taking a gulp of his wine. Chase always drank wine, he had never liked beer, even in high school. It was the one thing about Chase that wasn't 'typically guy'.
"Yeah I guess I am." Buck said. Chase's reaction was similar in sentiment to nearly everyone else's and Buck was getting bored of being told what an idiot he was and how lucky he was that Emma had forgiven him.
"Whoa, what's up your ass man? You sound like you don't even care." Chase frowned at him.
"I can't stop thinking about her." Buck said flatly.
"Good, but you don't need to sweat it anymore. She's forgiven you – I mean, I don't know why, but she has." Chase tried reassuring him.
"I'm not talking about Emma. I'm talking about Abby. She's all I can think about, I'm going out of my mind." Buck groaned the last part, framing his head with his hands to emphasise his point.
"Man, you have got to forget about this chick. What is so special about her anyway? I mean, I get it, she's hot, but really, Emma's hot, and young and wants to marry you. It's a no brainer, Emma's your girl." Chase told him firmly.
"I'm not comparing Emma to her, it's just, I don't know, I feel like the way I left things with Abby…like it feels wrong, unfinished." Buck shifted uncomfortably and scanned his eyes around the bar, to avoid Chase's look of disbelief.
"Unfinished? You're worried about this being unfinished. Buck you're talking about a girl who ghosted you, and didn't bother explaining anything to you for nearly two years, and you're worried about how you left it? Give her a call in two years, she'll be able to relate to that." It kind of irritated Buck that Chase was so against Abby. It was hard to blame him though, Abby had pretty much ignored him and she didn't take any steps to explain herself for almost two years, and even then, she hadn't really apologised. But the more he thought about what she had said, about finding out who she was, and not wanting to lose that, the more it made sense. She hadn't just left him, she'd left everything. As far as he knew, Carla was the only person she'd really kept in touch with whilst she was travelling.
"I know all of that, but in Vegas, it was different. It was like it was before. It was like I had her back." Buck spoke quietly, knowing Chase was not going to approve. For all his joking and guy talk, Chase was a good guy and he wouldn't approve of Buck's treatment of Emma, even if he was only thinking about it.
"But you don't have her back. Remember, she was married. For all you know, she could've used you to get her anger out of her system and gone back to her husband. She moved on from you last time, do you really think she'll be having trouble doing it again?" Chase had a point. He had no idea if Abby had left Sam or if she had gone back to him after Vegas. He didn't even know how long she'd stayed in Vegas. But then, Abby had always had self-respect, hadn't she? Would she really go back to a man who didn't value her? She would know she could do better – wouldn't she? 'What because you treated her so well in Vegas?' The voice in his head taunted him. She had told him that she and Sam were going through a rough patch, why hadn't he tried talking to her about that? Why hadn't he been there to listen? Why did her automatically go to getting intoxicated enough to forget about his fiancée long enough to sleep with Abby – and then tell her the truth in the morning.
"Ugh I was a total douchebag to her." Buck groaned.
"Are you still on Abby or have you gone back to Emma? Sorry man but you kinda screwed them both over." Chase paused for second, before giving him an apologetic look,
"Sorry bad choice of words."
"No what I did to Emma was terrible, but I lied to Abby as well. She was already hurt, and I just made it worse." Buck explained.
"Yeah, but it's not like you knew she was hurting, like until the morning." Chase tried to make him feel better. Buck knew that Chase wouldn't have the same view he did on what he'd done to Abby. But Chase didn't know Abby, he hadn't seen the pain across her features when Buck shattered her opinion of him.
"So…what are you gonna do?" Chase asked cautiously.
"I dunno. I wanna make it right, but I dunno how. It's not like I can go and talk to…" Then he stopped as an idea began to form in his head.
"Hold it there, buddy, you absolutely cannot go and talk to her. That idea sucks." Chase told him warningly.
"No, not just like that, but if I can just have a conversation, get a chance to explain." Buck tried to reason.
"Dude! The last time you had a conversation with her, you had sex with her. This is not a good idea." Chase insisted.
"I need to talk to Carla." Buck said, it wasn't completely clear if he had even heard Chase. He downed his beer and slapped it down on the bar top, and stood up.
"Carla? Who the hell is Carla? Please tell me you didn't sleep with her too?' Chase asked as he followed Buck out the door onto the street.
It was early evening, and so still warm outside. Buck was walking quickly. He felt pumped. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of this before. Carla had been in contact with Abby the whole time she'd been in Europe. Carla had been very important to Abby in her own right. Buck knew she had originally come in to Abby's life because it was her job, but the two women had been very close, like old friends by the time Buck and Abby were together. It wasn't that Abby didn't have any friends in LA, she just didn't have a lot of time to invest in those friendships. But Carla spent so much of her time at Abby's apartment caring for Patricia, so the friendship didn't require too much planning or effort. Buck always felt reassured that Carla was there for her when they worked opposite shifts and seeing each other was hard.
Chase was practically jogging behind Buck.
"Seriously man, slow down. Where are you going? Who is Carla?" He asked,
"She's a friend of Abby's. She cared for Abby's mom before she died and they stayed in touch. She can help." Buck explained, only slowing down marginally. Chase began to wish he and Buck hadn't decided to walk to the bar, not that it was far from Buck's apartment, but he hadn't been anticipating practically jogging back.
"Help with what?" Chase was beginning to get frustrated, Buck wasn't making a lot of sense.
"With Abby. She will know how to contact Abby, and I could just like call her or something, you know apologise or explain or something." Buck said.
"Dude, I don't get this, she didn't do any of that for you. Why do you think you owe her this?" Chase didn't get it at all.
"It's not like that. It's not about Europe or her running away or any of that. This is about what happened in Vegas." They had finally reached Buck's building. Buck opened the door and strode over to the kitchen and began rifling through one of the drawers.
"Perhaps it should stay in Vegas." Chase advised.
"Nah, look man, this is something I gotta do." Buck clapped him on the shoulder. Chase finally sighed in defeat and took a seat on one of the tall stools at the breakfast bar.
Buck proceeded to empty the draw he was going through, frown lines creased his face as he searched for whatever it was he was looking for.
"Where is it?" he muttered to himself.
"What exactly is it?" Chase asked.
"Carla's number, I lost a bunch of numbers when I got a new phone. I was sure I had it here somewhere though. I gave it to Eddie, to help with Christopher – you know, his son." Buck explained.
"So why don't you just ask Eddie for it? He might still have it right?" Chase suggested.
"Yeah, he will, but he's gonna wanna know why I need it. I haven't told everyone exactly what happened. I mean he knows I screwed up in Vegas, but only you, Hen, Chim and Maddie know that it was Abby – well and Emma but…" Buck trailed off.
"So in other words, you told almost everyone except Eddie that you slept with Abby? Aren't you and Eddie like bros? Like why would you not tell him?" Chase asked.
"Well I'm not exactly proud, Chim only knows because of Maddie – and it was Emma who told her. And Hen pestered me until I caved." Buck said defensively.
"Yeah, you're gonna have to tell him." Chase said bluntly.
Buck called Eddie and as predicted Eddie was curious as to why Buck needed Carla's number.
"I need to get in contact with someone." Buck said, knowing this would not be a sufficient explanation.
"Right, and Carla's gonna help with that?" Eddie replied in a slow tone that clearly said 'elaborate.'
"Well,§ I think she'll know how to get in touch with them." Buck skirted around the topic of Abby as Chase rolled his eyes from where he was now sprawled on Buck's couch.
"Who is it you need to talk to?" Eddie asked, he could tell Buck was being vague and was impatient for him to get to the point.
"Well…just an old friend…Carla knows them." Buck really didn't want to relive Vegas with anyone else, if he could help it.
"An old friend? That Carla knows?" Eddie said doubtfully.
"Yeah." Buck tried to sound convincing. Lying to Eddie was almost impossible. Eddie was like his brother. Eddie was the person he went to with everything – whether it was a major issue or a girl problem. Eddie was incredibly charming and until recently had always been able to give advice about how to win Emma over after a fight. After Buck had cheated on Emma with 'some girl' in Vegas, he had stepped back and suggested Buck would just have to give her time.
Eddie wasn't buying this at all.
"Didn't you meet Carla through your ex? Like wasn't she her mom's nurse originally?" Eddie asked, knowing the answer.
"Yeah." Buck wasn't giving this up any sooner than he had to.
Chase sighed dramatically.
"Dude! Just bring him in the loop! Seriously, if you don't tell him, I'm gonna grab that phone, tell him whats up, and then shove it right up your…" Buck waved a hand at Chase to shut him up.
"Is that Chase?" Eddie asked.
"Yeah. He's just talking shit." Buck said quickly.
"Nah, c'mon, what's going on?" Eddie asked.
"Okay, look I need Carla's number because…because I need to.." Buck began, before Chase lost his patience.
"HE NEEDS TO TALK TO ABBY!" He shouted across the room to make sure Eddie would hear on the other end of the receiver. Buck glared at Chase.
"Abby? Your ex? Do you really think that's a good idea? I mean Emma has just forgiven you for the thing with that girl in Vegas. Do you really think calling an ex is a good idea?" Eddie advised.
"Yeah, see that's the thing, the girl in Vegas – it was Abby." Buck told him.
"Oh man, seriously? That's so much worse than just some girl. Does Emma know?" Eddie asked.
"She knows it was Abby, she doesn't know I need to talk to Abby." Buck confessed.
"Man, why do you need to call Abby? I mean it was a onetime thing, right? Emma's forgiven you, don't mess that up." Eddie told him.
So, Buck found himself explaining the whole story to Eddie, about how Abby had said she was going through a rough patch, how he had failed to mention he was engaged until the next morning, only to find out Abby was in Vegas to get away from Phoenix and her cheating husband. He explained how angry she was when she found out Buck has cheated on someone with her. How he needed to speak to her, for his own piece of mind. He really just wanted to know she was okay. Eddie had finally agreed and passed on Carla's number to Buck, but he told him to be smart. Buck knew he was taking a risk by trying to contact Abby, but it was a risk he was willing to take.
