GUYS. THIS IS THE SECOND LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I CAPPED IT RIGHT AROUND 7000 WORDS NOT INCLUDING THE NOTES. A LOT OF STUFF GOES DOWN IN THIS CHAPTER.
TRIGGER WARNING FOR: blood, gore, EXTREMELY self-destructive behavior on Illumi's part, mentions of past torture.
"I understand how crazy this sounds, but... well... your parents are chasing after your brother." Hisoka stated, simply.
Killua planted his tiny fists on his hips, glaring up at the magician with obvious suspicion. "And you expect me to believe this why?"
"Ne, Killua, stop being such a killjoy and let him finish." Gon hissed, elbowing his friend in the ribs.
"No, no, it's alright. I don't mind. You two have every reason in the world to doubt what I'm saying. I'm definitely not a truthful person by nature, so I get it. But I'm being serious this time. We just learned earlier today from Kalluto that Silva's extremely angry. He's on his way here right now to find Illumi and bring him back." Hisoka explained, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture.
The cold wind howling through the dark, empty city streets was mussing his red hair, which was slicked back as usual. The wayward strands framing his sharp facial features gave him a much more deadset appearance. There was also the fact that he was no longer smiling. His seemingly ever-present smirk had fallen from his face, which made it a lot easier to take him seriously. It quickly became obvious he was telling the truth, simply because he was a lot less coy than normal.
"Oh?" Killua raised one feathery white eyebrow in disbelief. "What did he do to prompt such a thing? Did he spend too much time hanging out with you, or something?" he asked, his voice thick with sarcasm.
"You're half right. He did stay away from home a lot longer than he was supposed to. But the reasoning for this was the fact he had actually started realizing that there was absolutely nothing he could do to impress your parents." Hisoka tapped his chin with his index finger, being careful not to scratch himself with his dangerously long fingernail. "He came to me asking if there was anything I could teach him that might help his situation, because he knew he'd be harshly punished for returning home without improving some aspect of himself."
"You, of all people?" Chrollo suddenly interjected, his mouth dropping open in surprise. "You're always tormenting the poor fellow with those flirtatious comments you throw his way every chance you get. Why on earth would he come to you for help?"
"Because I'm just as messed up as he is, though in a different way." Hisoka replied, without missing a beat.
"Tch. You got that right." Killua scoffed, giving a slight roll of his eyes.
He honestly didn't like the way this conversation was going. He refused to believe that there was any sort of humanity left within his older brother. After everything that had happened in the past, all the things Illumi had done with that same impassive, stone-cold expression on his face... Killua quickly shook those thoughts out of his head. He knew from experience that the very thought of Illumi's seemingly soulless black eyes was enough to give him nightmares for the rest of the week.
I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid my other siblings besides Alluka forever, but... this is not possible. The Illumi I know would never second-guess our parents. He's too far gone to even think for himself anymore, so what's changed? Killua wondered, shivering a little as another gust of icy-cold wind whipped around his lithe body, tearing viciously at any exposed skin with sharp talons.
"I hate to have to agree with Killua here, but he does have a point. From what I've seen of Illumi, he's an extremely disturbing person who doesn't react emotionally to anything at all. You're implying that this aspect changed almost overnight." Gon stated, making a face that clearly implied he was starting to have his doubts as well.
"It wasn't an overnight thing, my dearest Gon. In fact, it was actually a very slow progression. It took almost two months and a lot of coaxing on my part for Illumi to finally realize that there was absolutely nothing he could do to make his parents love him. They never have loved him, and they never will." Hisoka reasoned, tilting his head to one side and regarding the two boys like a vulture eyeing its prey. "It was quite frustrating, because he kept skirting around the truth of the matter and choosing instead to assume that he was doing something wrong, that it was his own fault he would never be enough for them."
"Yep, that certainly does sound like him. Our parents have got him all wrapped around their fingers." Killua nodded his agreement, finally beginning to see the sense behind the magician's story.
"Even now, Illumi's still extremely unsure of himself. He's still pretty certain that he must be doing something wrong. He tends to call himself a disgrace a lot, actually. It's very saddening to listen to. But in any case, he's getting better. He figured out on his own that he didn't want to go back home, hence why Silva's chasing him down now." Hisoka finished.
Everyone was silent for a moment. Gon looked generally confused, Chrollo had the same facial expression as a mother who was very anxious for her children, and Killua was still torn between clinging to the faint hope that there was still something of a human within his older brother and wanting to run as fast and as far away as his legs could carry him.
"I don't wanna believe it." the snowy-haired boy said, after the moment of silence broken only by the howling wind had passed. "In fact, I don't know if I can believe it. My brother's an absolute monster, though he may not look like one. He's cruel, sadistic, and merciless. That, and he allows himself to be manipulated in any way our parents see fit. I don't think he's capable of changing."
"He does love you and your siblings." Hisoka tried, but Killua was already shaking his head in response.
"Sure, in his own sick, twisted way. That doesn't help his case any."
"Killua," Chrollo suddenly called out, clasping his hands neatly behind his back. "you do realize that it's impossible to love someone properly if you've never been loved before, right?"
"That's what I was thinking!" Gon piped up cheerfully, completely oblivious to the somber mood in the chilly twilight air.
"My Aniki's different, trust me. I remember a time when he was human and had a real personality and real feelings. He was the sweetest thing, and I considered him to be the best big brother in the world. He would play hide and seek with me, comfort me when I was sad, and listen to me whenever I wanted to talk about anything at all." Killua winced a little. He didn't like talking about this because it was almost painful acknowledging that he actually used to love his older brother. "But he took on training me himself, which meant building up my immunity to various tortures. From that point on, he was as blank and expressionless as he is today. I don't think he cared that he was hurting me."
"Is that really what you think?" Hisoka suddenly asked, his voice laced with concern.
Chrollo's reaction was much the same. "Oh, honey." he said, simply.
Killua glanced back and forth between the two adults a few times, clearly confused. He became impatient and threw his arms up in exasperation. "What? What am I missing here? Could you stop giving me those pitying looks and just tell me already?"
"You've got it all wrong." Chrollo shook his head, a mournful expression crossing his face. "Hisoka and I both know better than anyone here that Illumi still hates himself for what he was forced to do to you."
"Forced to?" all the color drained from Killua's face.
Impossible.
"Yes, indeed." Hisoka jumped in, folding his arms across his broad, muscular chest and clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "He's mentioned on several occasions that one of the reasons his parents are so hard on him is because when your parents asked him to train you himself, he blatantly refused for the longest time. I'm guessing they threatened him somehow, because he eventually caved and did what they asked him to do. He's stubborn and he loves you so very much that I know for a fact it would've taken a lot to make him hurt you like that."
"Now, Illumi sort of views the whole situation as his own fault. He thinks that if he had just done what he was told without resisting so much, he wouldn't have to deal with the fact your parents' expectations for him are a lot higher than they are for you and your other siblings." Chrollo agreed, wrinkling his nose in displeasure. "It's such a sickening thing, the way he blames himself for every little thing. He just doesn't want to accept the fact the people he's mindlessly devoted to don't care about him at all and are only interested in breaking him until there's nothing left to break."
Killua just stared at them, having lost all ability to speak. He couldn't believe this at all. No. There was no way. He couldn't have misunderstood the whole situation for all these years... right?
"How on earth do you guys know this? He's so quiet, he never talks to anyone about these things." Killua finally said, trying to find a reason to doubt everything he'd just been told. "Really, there's no way anything you just said is true."
Hisoka and Chrollo exchanged amused glances before the magician replied, "When it comes to you and your siblings, it's getting Illumi to shut up that's the trick."
"Exactly. I don't think he'll ever tire of talking about you." Chrollo nodded his head enthusiastically.
"But I thought he was angry with Killua for running away." Gon pointed out, gesturing with one hand to his best friend. "I saw it with my own eyes during the Hunter Exam. He didn't look all that mad, but he kept going on about how Killua isn't allowed to have friends and he shouldn't have run away from home like that because he's the heir to the Zoldycks' business, or whatever."
"That's partially true, but he wasn't actively looking for Killua. They just happened to be taking the Hunter Exam at the same time. Illumi's expected to report back to his parents on important things like that, so once he told them that he'd run into Killua on accident, they immediately jumped the opportunity. Now, they expect Illumi to bring him home should they ever meet again." Hisoka explained, a small frown crossing his face. He could clearly remember all the times Illumi had gone on and on about how his parents might finally love him if he succeeded in bringing Killua home. "But you're right, to some extent. He certainly wasn't pleased to find his runaway brother was now making friends, which is a huge no-no in the assassin business."
"..." Killua remained silent, still trying to wrap his head around everything. The wheels in his brain were turning, making an honest effort to comprehend that his overly protective control freak of a brother was actually... not as bad as Killua had first thought. Sure, the scars and trauma from being tortured were still there, but just the knowledge that Illumi had been internally aching for every second of it because he didn't want to do it completely changed the way Killua saw the whole thing.
It was hard on both of us. I may have been the one on the receiving end of the torture, but he felt it just as strongly as I did.
"So... why are you guys out looking for him, then? That's one thing you haven't mentioned yet." he finally asked, lifting his gaze from the sidewalk to Hisoka and Chrollo, who were watching him expectantly.
"Ah, that's an excellent question. One that I would very much like answered as well." Chrollo agreed, giving Hisoka a look that implied he was not amused at all. "I know it had something to do with you, Hisoka. You're always screwing around with Illumi. The poor thing never gets a moment of peace when you're around."
Gon barked a laugh. "Yep, sounds about right."
Hisoka rolled his eyes. "You all are so mean. To sum it up briefly, Illumi and I have had a somewhat complicated relationship lately. I may or may not have said something that frightened him off."
"What did you say, exactly?" Killua asked, raising one eyebrow suspiciously.
"Oh, nothing too terrible, just that I'm not happy being platonic business partners anymore." Hisoka shrugged carelessly.
Killua's jaw dropped open. "It's that kind of complicated relationship?!" he pressed his thumbs into his closed eyelids and walked a couple paces away, grumbling to himself. "Oh, Christ, Aniki, what the hell are you doing?"
"Yeah, that's a thing. Close your mouth, Chrollo, you look like a startled koi fish." Hisoka said, loosely gesturing to the head of the Phantom Troupe, who looked like he'd just seen an army of ghosts. "I just don't want Illumi by himself in this weather. He's extremely confused right now, especially with everything going on between him and his parents."
"We definitely need to find him, and quickly. I'm really starting to question his mental stability." Killua said, tugging at the ends of his jacket to straighten it and starting off down the street. "If there's one thing I know about my brother, it's that he tends to gravitate toward corners when he's upset. Are there any dead ends in this godforsaken city?"
"Indeed, there are. Follow me, I think I know where we'll find our missing Zoldyck." Hisoka declared, pushing past the snowy-haired boy with Gon and Chrollo at his heels.
Although it was extremely cold and windy out, that didn't mean there weren't still a few shoddily dressed people roaming the streets, keeping carefully to the shadows with their thin, grubby arms wrapped around themselves as meager protection against the frigid temperature leeching off their natural body heat. It was obvious that these people were up to no good, based off the way they did their absolute best to stay out of sight.
Killua eyed the townsfolk with an avid sort of disgust. He was very curious about these people and their suspicious behavior, but he also wanted nothing more than to stay as far away from them as possible. Some of them brandished small, sharp weapons, like a rusting kitchen knife or a shard of broken glass. How they deemed such well-worn objects capable of protecting them was beyond Killua.
He didn't understand how such a run-down city filled with extremely poor people that had clearly seen a lot of misfortune could function, let alone be known as home to one of the most sought-after locations in the world. The lavish décor and expensive materials making up Heaven's Arena were a far cry from the nameless city.
"What on earth happened to all these people, do you know?" Gon asked, pulling his green jacket with orange trim closer around his body and visibly shuddering as another gust of icy-cold wind blasted through the streets.
"No, I don't. They all seem so very unhappy that it's almost depressing just to look at." Hisoka replied, glancing over his shoulder at the ebony-haired boy.
"This is almost like Meteor City. The only difference is that these people actually have stable structures to live within." Chrollo remarked, as the group of four rounded yet another sharp bend in the road they were currently traversing. "I think the real question is why it was constructed less like a city and more like a labyrinth. Clearly whoever built this place had more than enough money to do what they wanted, so why did they put all their time and effort into confusing people rather than helping them?"
"Sadism. Or sociopathy. Clearly whoever built this place has no regard for human life and would much rather spend their money on confusing anyone who steps foot within this city than on constructing a safe, welcoming living space." Killua jumped in, folding his arms across his chest in an attempt to stop the shivers wracking his small body.
"Maybe that's why everyone here looks so unhappy. They don't get a lot of business here since most of the time people can't even find the businesses. That also explains the obvious lack of wealth." Gon agreed.
"Hmm, I suppose that would make sense. This is a remarkably large city with an even more remarkable design. Only people who have been here for a very long time know where to find everything. I still get lost sometimes, just for the record." Hisoka said, stroking his chin thoughtfully and humming to himself under his breath. "That's another really good reason why we need to find Illu-chan. He's probably lost."
Oh, if only Hisoka knew how right he was.
Illumi was definitely lost.
He was so absolutely shellshocked from both the events that had transpired between him and Hisoka, and from unexpectedly running into his little brother again that he'd completely forgotten to pay attention to where he was going.
All he knew was that he was cold. Unbearably so. He wanted to turn around and go back, but he was too stubborn and angry with himself to do so.
Illumi was also extremely tired. He hadn't been sleeping well as of late, despite his odd ability to fall asleep and wake up at will (something his parents had trained into him for the sake of making him an acceptable assassin.) The deep, open cuts running from the back of his hands to his fingers were throbbing and stinging dreadfully, almost as if there were thousands of pieces of glass stuck in them, gouging deeper and deeper into his skin. Although he had mentioned that he was gonna seal the cuts with his needles, he had simply forgotten to do so. At least the bleeding had stopped several minutes ago, right?
Finding himself too exhausted to continue roaming the dark, empty streets, he found himself a comfortable place to sit and wait for the sun to rise. Naturally, this 'comfortable' place was simply a curb lining a street that led to a dead end.
Illumi sat with his hands clasped neatly in his lap, silently rocking back and forth in an attempt to keep himself warm, slowly but surely beginning to lose track of time. He didn't know what to think or what to do, and that was bothering him. He honestly wished there was a way he could force himself to stop thinking and stop feeling altogether. He was convinced that all his problems would vanish if he simply lost his ability to feel emotion.
I won't want Hisoka anymore. I won't feel shocked and remorseful whenever my eyes land on Kil. I won't have to put up with this strange sort of pain that comes with the knowledge that my parents will never love me, that I'll never be enough for them no matter what I do.
Illumi couldn't help but sigh inaudibly at the thought. A life without emotion sounded so quiet, so peaceful, so delightfully oblivious to all the terrible things that could go on in life. But he knew that the only way to achieve that level of silence was to die. He wasn't ready to die. Not yet, anyway.
He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there for, with his head bowed against the wind that tore at any exposed skin on his body with icy claws. At first, the frigid temperatures were causing him pain, exacerbating the aching of his open wounds. But as time continued to pass, he gradually became so cold he lost all feeling in his limbs. He knew that wasn't really a good thing, but he was more than willing to stick it out until morning.
Suddenly, he was jolted out of his sort of drowsy, thoughtless state when he heard the sound of footsteps and familiar voices approaching. The voices were calling his name.
Someone came looking for me.
Illumi lifted his head and turned it to see Hisoka, Chrollo, Gon and Killua headed directly toward him, all with equally concerned expressions on their faces. He grimaced. He didn't really want to see any of them at the moment, he just wanted to be left alone.
"Oh my goodness, Lu-chan, do you have any idea how worried we were starting to get?" Hisoka exclaimed, scoldingly. "We were honestly beginning to think you'd left the city altogether and that we'd never see you again!"
"Go away." Illumi mumbled, drawing his knees up to his chest and propping his chin up on them, trying to make it clear that he wasn't moving any time soon. He noticed the way the two young boys held back and stayed a safe distance away, whereas Hisoka and Chrollo were all too eager to approach him.
"Come now, Illumi, don't give us that. Look at you, you're shivering all over. You'll freeze to death if you don't come back with us." Chrollo jumped in, his voice much more gentle than Hisoka's. "I understand that you want to be left alone right now, but you can't stay here."
"Yes, I can." was Illumi's stubborn response. "The more you two hover around me and try to convince me to go back with you, the less I actually want to comply."
Hisoka and Chrollo were silent for a moment, exchanging worried glances. It was clear neither of them really knew what to do. Fortunately, Killua was more than willing to step in, although he remained a safe distance away. He still didn't entirely trust that his older brother was changing, but at the same time, he could clearly see that something was wrong. Terribly so.
"Aniki! You do realize that staying out here is not good for you, right? You'll freeze to death, or get extremely sick." Killua called out, his voice cutting through the frigid air like a hot knife through butter.
Illumi visibly flinched and returned his gaze to the ground in front of him. He knew he couldn't say no to Killua, especially not if he actually wanted to have a close relationship with him. Illumi grimaced, considering his options, before deciding it was best he did as he was told. He slowly pushed himself to his feet, ignoring how stiff and achy his limbs had become just from the cold alone.
"Alright, fine." he said, tersely.
"Excellent!" Hisoka clapped his hands together like an excited little kid. "Thank goodness we thought to bring your little brother along. Killua's probably the one thing on this planet who's more stubborn than you, Illu-chan."
Illumi didn't respond for a moment. He just stared at the ground as if he were being scolded, avoiding making eye contact with anyone present. Finally, he said, "I'm not really sure where I am."
"Good grief." Chrollo rubbed his forehead in exasperation, shooting Hisoka a look of complete and utter disapproval. "It's a good thing we were able to find you then, because there's no way you would've been able to make it back by yourself."
On the long walk back to Heaven's Arena, everyone noticed how Illumi walked as far behind the group as humanely possible. He had his arms wrapped around himself and his gaze riveted on the ground, ensuring that nobody could see his face and tell what he was thinking. At one point, Chrollo intentionally hung back for the sake of trying to talk to the raven-haired Zoldyck, but it quickly became obvious Illumi was not interested in responding. The whole situation was both frustrating and incredibly sad.
Once they made it back to Heaven's Arena, Killua immediately made an effort to just leave right away. Now that he'd seen to it that his brother was found, he wanted nothing more to do with these people.
"Leaving already?" Hisoka asked, from where he stood just inside the tall skyscraper, holding the glass door open. "That's a shame. I honestly thought you'd like to come in for a few minutes and warm up, maybe meet Saki..."
"Who's Saki?" Chrollo asked, from where he stood beside an abnormally silent Illumi.
"Illumi's puppy." Hisoka responded, mechanically.
"Um, no thank you. I appreciate the offer, but we really need to be going." Killua stated, grabbing Gon's hand and making an honest effort to leave.
For the third time that day, Gon refused to budge. "A puppy? You didn't say anything about there being a puppy." he exclaimed, honey-brown eyes blown wide with surprise.
Killua facepalmed. Hard.
"She's about three months old. Illumi and I have been looking after her as of late. She's so well-behaved." Hisoka shrugged, fully aware that he wasn't helping the situation any.
"Gon, let's go." Killua hissed, between gritted teeth.
Gon shook his head stubbornly. "I'm not going anywhere until I get to see the puppy. You can go ahead and leave if you want, though, Killua."
"Like hell I'm gonna leave you by yourself with these people!"
"That settles it, then. We're not leaving yet."
"Are... are you serious?" Chrollo asked, glancing back and forth between the two boys. "You're willing to enter one of the most dangerous buildings on the continent, accompanied by three of the most dangerous people on the planet... for a puppy?"
"Chrollo, meet Gon. Of course we're sticking around for a puppy." Killua seethed, practically dragging Gon into Heaven's Arena by the hand, pushing past a very smug-looking Hisoka.
"Aw, how sweet. They're coming to visit my floor for the first time." the magician mused, stretching one arm up against the glass doorframe and leaning against it. "I find it rather endearing that they're staying, in all honesty. I think they'll love Saki."
Killua scoffed and threw a venomous glare over his shoulder at Hisoka. "Remember what I said earlier, we aren't sticking around for you!"
"So feisty. Just like his brother." Hisoka said, smiling broadly.
"Gross. I wonder how Illumi puts up with your garbage as much as he does." Chrollo grumbled, shuddering all over from disgust and making his way inside the skyscraper.
It only took about five more minutes from there to reach Hisoka's floor. Throughout the entire journey up several flights of stairs, Illumi was still as quiet and disinterested in his surroundings as he had been when they found him. It was abnormal for him to be so unfocused. He was usually closely studying everything and everyone within view, taking in and memorizing every last detail in the odd event it would become useful information later on.
During the trip upstairs, Chrollo decided to make conversation with the redheaded magician walking beside him because there were still a few things he didn't really understand.
"It's almost painful, seeing him like that." Chrollo muttered to Hisoka, his voice low enough that the assassin walking along several paces behind them wouldn't hear. "I mean, he's not usually cheerful by any means, but he's usually a lot... brighter, I guess you could say. He just looks like a wilting flower now."
Hisoka hesitated for a moment before responding, "I'm worried about him. It's clear he isn't doing so great, but every time I get close enough to help him, he pushes me away."
"Your definition of helping someone and mine are two very different things." Chrollo shot back, though he could tell from the unusual sincerity in Hisoka's voice that something was definitely off about the whole situation.
"I haven't really made any sexual advances toward him, actually. Unless you count kissing."
"Kissing? Or making out?"
"No, no. Just kissing."
"Holy shit, are you okay?"
Hisoka chuckled a bit at the genuine shock in Chrollo's voice. "I don't know about that one, darling. Illumi's bad for my heart."
"But you try to fuck everyone!" Chrollo squawked, throwing his arms up in an exasperated gesture. "Including me! And let's not forget that the last time I visited, you wouldn't stop making aggressively flirtatious comments to Illumi. I think it's safe to say that you're primarily driven by feral desires, whether it be fighting someone or having sex with them. I find it very difficult to believe you've changed any."
"Eh, you're right. But something about Illumi's different, you know. I'm not interested in using him like a plaything, though that's what I usually do when I encounter people so absolutely enthralling." Hisoka shrugged, turning to his left and advancing up yet another flight of stairs. He was mainly focusing on the soft sounds of Illumi's footsteps behind him, making sure the young Zoldyck didn't try to sneak away again. "I like him a lot. I think he's perfect. And that's saying something, because everyone has their flaws and things that make them oh, so boring. But not him. He's... captivating."
Chrollo considered this for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief. "Out of all the people I'd expect you to fall for, Illumi's perhaps the furthest thing from it. You two don't really mix well."
"And that's where you're wrong, my dear." Hisoka purred. He chose not to say anything else after that, making the rest of the way to the entrance to his floor in silence.
Once they reached his floor, Hisoka only paused for long enough to unlock the door before walking inside, his strides long and purposeful. Chrollo was at his heels, followed immediately by Gon and Killua, who filed into the large living room with obvious apprehension in their eyes. There was a brief pause before Illumi appeared in the doorway as well. He didn't come all the way into the room, though. It seemed he had gained a habit of just lurking in the doorway.
"I'll go get Saki." Hisoka called out, but then he was nudged aside by a very familiar figure with porcelain skin and long, perfectly straight black hair.
"No, let me do it." Illumi said tersely, just before disappearing down the dimly lit hallway leading to the guest bedroom where the magician had left the small dog.
"That's her name, huh? Saki?" Killua asked, trying out the new word.
"Yeah. Illumi named her himself. They seem to have bonded extremely well, it's nigh on impossible to separate them nowadays." Hisoka nodded his head enthusiastically, wandering into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of red wine. "Would anyone like anything to drink?"
"I think we're a little young for that." Gon waved a hand dismissively, plopping down on the couch and crossing his legs neatly.
"Such well-behaved children." Chrollo cooed, reaching into his coat and pulling out a small book.
"I still think we made a mistake in coming here." Killua hissed to Gon, choosing to stand beside his friend rather than sitting next to him. "Baka."
"Calling me stupid never gets you anywhere, Killua. Besides, I haven't seen a puppy in like, a week! This is crucial to my survival!" Gon replied, eyes glimmering with amusement.
"Feh. I don't really understand how my brother ended up with a puppy, of all creatures. He doesn't really enjoy soft, fluffy things with an overabundance of energy. I imagine he'd have a hard time keeping up with a puppy." the snowy-haired Zoldyck sighed, folding his arms indignantly and tilting his chin upward ever so slightly. "If it was up to me, I'd deny even being related to him."
Killua's large, slanted blue eyes wandered the room freely, taking in every last detail. The room itself was surprisingly clean and well-decorated, contrary to how he expected it to be. He had no idea Hisoka was capable of keeping such a nice living space as this. But... it wasn't all perfect and comfortable. Killua's eyes landed on some small droplets of dried blood staining the floor, leading from the hallway to the front door. The droplets were still crimson rather than browned from age, proving that they were fairly fresh. Someone had gotten hurt in here. Recently.
Killua briefly wondered if it had anything to do with the deep cuts on his older brother's hands. The cuts themselves also looked fresh, though they hadn't been bleeding for quite some time because all the blood surrounding the lacerations was dried out.
"Ne, Hisoka?" Killua called out, deciding it was best to figure out exactly what had happened to Illumi's hands. "My Aniki's hands were all sliced up. I didn't say anything because I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer from him. Care to tell me what went on to cause those?"
"Oh, that's easy. He punched a mirror. Poor thing's grown to dislike his reflection so much that he couldn't stand the sight of it." Hisoka replied, wandering back into the living area with a glass of wine in hand.
"Speaking of Illumi, I thought he was just going to get his dog. He's been gone an awful long time. I'm tempted to go check and see if he's okay." Chrollo remarked, turning a page in his book and continuing to read with that same expression of motherly concern on his face.
"No, don't." Killua suddenly interjected, drawing everyone's attention. "I know Illumi. The only reason he pushed past the creep earlier is because he wants a moment to himself. He'll come back, don't worry. He knows what he's doing... I think."
"Ne, Killua." Gon poked Killua's side to get his attention. "I know that you and your brother have a pretty tough history with each other, but... based off everything I heard today... he's starting to sound a lot less like a manipulative monster and more like how you were when you first ran away from your family. Try not to be too mean to him, okay? Maybe he's changed."
"I understand that he's been acting weird. I mean, he's never so quiet and numb to what's going on around him like that. But at the same time, I refuse to believe he's changed for the better until I see it with my own eyes. Until then, I reserve the right to hate him." Killua responded, bluntly. Despite the fact he wasn't hurting me just because he could, despite the fact he was only trying to protect me... I'm not going to forgive him until I see an example of this positive change everyone seems to see in him. His intentions may have been pure, but that doesn't automatically undo the years I've spent thinking he'd betrayed me.
Several more minutes passed with no sign of Illumi. Hisoka and Chrollo were chattering idly to pass the time, while Gon and Killua just kinda hung around in silence, occasionally exchanging glances, communicating with each other without speaking. It was a well-known fact that the two boys knew each other so well that they could practically read each other's minds.
Eventually, Illumi did emerge from the hallway with a bundle of dark, wriggling brown fur in his arms. His hands were wrapped up in gauze bandaging, concealing the nasty cuts slashed cruelly along his porcelain skin. He intentionally avoided looking directly at Killua, choosing instead to sit down right where he was on the floor, crisscrossing his legs and putting the bundle of fur down in front of him.
"This is Saki." he said, his voice abnormally soft and stricken, as the little puppy sprang to her feet and started bounding around the room on stocky little legs, eager to meet all the new people in the room. "She's a bit frisky, and she really likes to lick people's faces, so if you don't want her to do that, hold her at arm's length."
"Awwwww!" Gon was immediately on the floor, letting Saki sniff his hand before gathering her up in his arms and petting her soft, fluffy head. "She's so cute! I love her!"
"Where did you find her?" Killua asked, cautiously sliding down to the floor beside Gon so he could say hello to the puppy as well.
"Hisoka found her, actually, and brought her home with him. We suspect her previous owner abandoned her because it's my understanding that she was out on the streets, completely and utterly alone." Illumi replied, folding his hands neatly in his lap, still avoiding making any sort of direct eye contact with his little brother.
"Huh. Her eyes kind of look like mine." Killua pointed out, tilting his head to one side and lightly stroking Saki's back. Her fur was so soft to the touch.
"I know." Illumi sighed, hunching forward ever so slightly and nervously playing with the end of a strand of black hair draped over his shoulder.
There was a sort of loneliness and longing in his usually monotonous, cold voice that Killua found himself strongly identifying with. It was the same loneliness he had felt for the first couple months after he stabbed Kikyo and Milluki and ran away, with the intent of never returning. It was almost disturbing, how similar their situations had become.
This is the example of change that I was looking for. Holy shit, I think he's actually coming to his senses and realizing that our parents are bloody awful! Finally!
"She's beautiful. I like her a lot." Killua finally said, after a long moment of silence. "Do you spend a lot of time with her?"
"Yeah. Hisoka says I treat her less like my dog and more like my daughter." the slightest hint of an amused smile touched Illumi's face. It wasn't even a full expression, less a smile and more a glimmer in his usually empty black eyes. "I just like having her around. She's wonderful."
Chrollo, Hisoka and Gon had fallen silent simply out of respect for the fact that this was the most Killua and Illumi had talked in years without some sort of hostile context. They didn't want to interrupt a potentially life-changing moment for the two brothers, especially if it meant they'd be more friendly and close in the future. It was important that they started having normal conversations like this.
"Huh. You know, I almost wish Mike was soft and harmless like this. Woulda been nice to have an affectionate animal around the house while I was living there." Killua said, watching as Saki wriggled and squirmed around in Gon's grasp until he took the hint and let her go. Once she got her feet under her, she waddled over to Illumi, pink tongue lolling out of her mouth. "Our parents trained Mike themselves, didn't they?"
"Father did. Mother's never liked Mike, so I doubt she had any part in his upbringing." Illumi shrugged, moving his hands so Saki could curl up in his lap. He threaded his long, slender fingers through her soft fur absentmindedly, totally engrossed in his conversation with his brother. "He's less an animal and more a sentinel, I think."
"Makes sense. Well, it's getting late and I honestly think Gon and I should get going now. We're trying to finish up a sort of treasure-hunting job someone was offering to any licensed Hunters in this area, but it shouldn't take us long because we're pretty close to figuring out the exact location of the jewel our client wants. Once we're finished with that, we'll... we'll come back and visit." Killua said, hesitantly.
"Whoa." Gon twisted to look at his best friend with wide eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Killua? Just a few minutes ago, you were so eager to just leave!"
"Well... My father's currently on a mission to bring Aniki back home, and... I know that if I were in his position, I'd want some sort of support. I'd be a pathetic excuse for a brother if I just left him to deal with this all by himself." Killua replied, his voice soft and thoughtful. "Thanks for letting us stop by, creep. It's okay if we come back within the next three or four days, right?" he added, glancing over his shoulder at Hisoka, who was still casually sipping his wine as if absolutely nothing was wrong with the world at the moment.
"Of course. My little fruits are always welcome to visit me whenever they want." Hisoka said, with a cheeky grin.
"Gross. C'mon, Gon, let's get out of here." Killua scoffed, pushing himself to his feet.
"Oh. I guess we're leaving, then. See you guys later!" Gon called over his shoulder, making his way toward the front door with Killua at his heels.
Dead silence fell over the room once the two boys were gone, broken only by the soft rustling sounds caused by Chrollo turning pages in his book every so often.
A few moments passed, before perhaps the most miraculous thing in the world happened.
Illumi actually smiled. And it wasn't a cold, sadistic smile, either. It was genuine. For just a moment, he looked more beautiful and radiant than ever.
"Kil talked to me. He actually talked to me." Illumi stated, simply.
"I take it that hasn't happened in a little while, huh?" Hisoka asked, tilting his head to one side and smiling fondly at the ravenet.
Illumi shook his head no, seeming to realize he'd abandoned his impassive mask for a second there. His smile faded and he cleared his throat before saying, "I'm just glad that... well... he doesn't seem to hate me as much as I thought he did."
A/N: Oh lord. 7k words of fluff mixed with angst. I almost can't believe I pulled this one off, not gonna lie. I wrote this chapter over the span of three days, taking about an hour to thirty minutes each day to work on it. Naturally, because I went so fast, it's probably riddled with errors so please excuse those. I spent the better part of an hour proofreading this mess, but it's so long that there's a pretty good chance I missed a few things.
Thanks so much for reading! Any comments/kudos would be very much appreciated! Take care!
BEWARE, THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THIS STORY IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY DARK AND INTENSE. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
-UltimatexAdmin