Here's chapter 10. Some rather angsty stuff up ahead, but I'm sure you won't mind. Also, for those of you who have been wondering if Dean's going to be hurt as well: here you go. You're welcome. Don't say I don't listen to you guys :p

More notes at the end

Chapter 10

Dean eyed the gurney they had carried from the infirmary into Sam's room, along with several other medical contraptions – such as IVs, if his foray into Sam's headspace lasted too long. Not that he intended to make his stay longer than was needed. From what the spell that Elias and Helmi had discovered said, Dean only needed to locate Sam and get him back. Dean could do that.

"You have to drink this," Elias said, pushing a foul-smelling concoction into Dean's hand. "Then lie down o the gurney, because it's going to take effect very quickly. Now, if we've got this right, this should help you travel to the land of the dead."

"I will help guide your soul to Sam's," Castiel added. "However, I will not be able to actually join you on this journey. If something happens and you run into trouble, I am afraid I will be unable to help. You'll be on your own."

"Not if I find Sam I won't," Dean pointed out.

"I think the problem is how you find Sam," Ketch pointed out. "Now, if you were part of the Men of Letters, I would have strongly insisted that you pull back the moment you get an inkling that something is wrong…"

"But I'm not, so you can insist all you want."

He held the cup with the potion – he really did not want to think too much about what was in it – and toasted to the others.

"We'll both see you in a bit," he said brightly.

"We'll be here," Mary assured him. "In case anyone might make a move against the Bunker while you're out. You'll be safe."

Dean allowed a smile to soften his features.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll bring him back."

Mary returned his smile, feeling more connected to him than she had ever since she had been unexpectedly been brought back from the dead.

"There was never any doubt."

Dean gulped the potion in one go, then allowed himself to fall against the gurney. He vaguely sensed Castiel close by, somewhere beyond the black mist that was suddenly dulling his senses. Dean fought the urge to resist. He had to allow it to carry him away, he reminded himself. He had to surrender himself to it. It was the only way he would find Sam.

xxxXXXXxxxx

Dean blinked his eyes open to find himself standing on some mountain path. He could make out a cottage in the distance. It looked cozy, with lights at the window and smoke rising from the chimney. Dean shook his head, baffled.

"Ok, this is not what I was expecting to find in here," he commented to himself.

When Castiel had told him Sam's soul was more or less stuck in his own head, Dean had feared his brother was wondering back through the Cage or reliving other of their greatest torture hits. This was unexpectedly peaceful.

"All right," Dean said, squaring his shoulders. "I'm guessing you're in there, Sammy. Let's see what you've got yourself into now."

He made his way up the path. The air was cool but the sky was clear. Only a black bird could be seen circling far away. Dean frowned. Elias had told him about that before Dean's incursion into Sam's mind. The Black Swan that guarded the realm of the dead. If the bird got too close, it meant whatever curse Luohi had cast on Sam was about to become irreversible and Sam's soul was as good as gone. Dean's too, if he was trapped there. But, for now, the swan was still far away.

Dean stopped in front of the cottage. He considered simply barging in, with his usual style. But the place was too peaceful for something like that. He knocked at the door instead.

The door was opened by a blonde woman, and Dean tensed, at first wondering if this was Luohi. But then he realized that she looked familiar. He had seen her before, and, really, he should have expected a version of her to be there.

"Jessica," he said. "I'm guessing you weren't expecting me."

To Dean's surprise, she grinned.

"Well," she drawled. "When we arranged this little getaway for Sam, I was sure you weren't going to let me have him all to myself, no matter how much you insisted you would. You just can't keep away, Dean."

Dean was rather taken aback by the familiar way in which she addressed him. The Jessica Moore he had met all those years back had scarcely even known or cared that he was Sam's brother. Dean was actually touched that Sam's fantasy world included him now.

"You know me," he said eventually. "Listen, about Sam…"

"He was a little confused this morning," Jess said. "Probably still tired after that high profile case of his and the trial. You were right, a little rest away from it all could do him good. However," she added with a wicked grin. "His stamina's quite fine, you know."

And that went firmly on the list of things Dean definitely did not want to know about his little brother. He cleared his throat, ignoring Jess' visible amusement at his discomfort.

"Do you mind if I borrow Sam for a bit, then?"

It was not really "borrowing", since Dean intended to take Sam as far from that place as he could, but he assumed that keeping the interaction normal would actually help him reach Sam sooner. Jess stepped aside, allowing Dean to come in.

"He's in the library," she told him.

Of course he was, Dean thought with a smirk. Sam had a fancy-ass cottage and he set up a library in it, the little geek. Dean walked towards the library, while Jess remained in the living room. He wondered uneasily if she knew he was there to take Sam away.

The small library did surprise Dean, though. He had expected something like the one in the Bunker, or maybe like Bobby's, full of obscure books of lore and grimoires. Instead, there wasn't a single reference to the supernatural there. He spotted rows upon rows of fantasy books – Sam always did have escapist tendencies – as well as detective stories, which Dean had forgotten Sam used to enjoy. He found a battered copy of Cats Cradle. When he opened it, he spotted his own name on the cover.

Sam was sitting in an armchair, his head tilted back and his eyes closed. He looked completely relaxed, as he had not in a long time, and for a moment Dean felt a pang of guilt at having to drag him back to the real world. But Luohi was not going to go easy on him when she finally caught him, so Dean told himself it was all for the best. He cleared his throat to draw Sam's attention. Sam opened his eyes, his lips tilting slightly upward when he spotted Dean. He did not seem surprised to see his brother there.

"So," he said. "You're here."

Dean hesitated. He did not know if Sam was aware this life was not his.

"Nice place you've got," he commented neutrally.

Sam nodded.

"Thanks. I know it's not real though. I'm – what? Dead? Dying?"

Dean grabbed a chair and dragged it in front of Sam. He sat down.

"You're not dead, Sam," he said firmly. "Probably not dying, either. We think Luohi's trying to mellow you before she can snatch your soul. That's why we have to get out of here."

Sam's face was blank. He acted as if he had not heard the urgency in Dean's tone.

"You know, right now I have two sets of memories," he said. "I remember the Bunker and Hunting and everything else, but I also have memories of this life. Where Jess is still alive and I'm married to her and I'm this high-profile lawyer spending sleepless nights trying to bring justice to the innocent instead of researching the monster of the week. And Mom and Dad are both alive, you know? They're living in our old place in Lawrence – they had no reason to leave the house. Cas is here as well. Of course, he's not an Angel and he's married to Jody, which is weird. They live together in Sioux Falls with Alex and Claire. Then there's you."

"What I'm traveling the country in my awesome car hunting monsters since no one else seems to be doing it?" Dean quipped.

Sam did not return his smile.

"You're still with Lisa and Ben," he said, avoiding his gaze. "You guys also have a daughter together. I see her every weekend and she calls me "Uncle Sam", and I spoil her rotten." He huffed and shook his head. "It's peaceful here, Dean."

"Maybe," Dean conceded. "But it won't be for long. Luohi is just biding her time, Sam. And when she gets you, all this is going to fade away. This isn't your happy ending, Sammy. It's just the calm before the storm."

Sam tilted his head, watching Dean carefully. Dean guessed what he was probably thinking.

"Listen," he began earnestly. "I know. I know I don't have a good track record with this thing. I've brought you back against your will more than once. But this isn't that, Sam, I swear. You won't like where Luohi's going to take you. I'm here to help, Sammy. Believe me."

"Tell me this one thing, then," Sam urged him. "If what you see here wasn't Luohi's trick – if it was real and I was able to remain here, to live this life, would you let me do it? Would you allow me this and return without me?"

Dean hesitated. He could deflect, he might even be able to do it in a way that would make Sam believe whatever answer he gave him. But Sam deserved the truth. Especially now. Especially in that place.

"No, Sammy," he answered truthfully. "No, I wouldn't."

Sam wasn't looking at him, so Dean ploughed on, while he still had the nerve:

"I wouldn't return, Sam. I'd find a way to stay here with you."

Sam's head snapped up, his eyes searching Dean's with that vulnerable, unguarded look that only Dean got to see. He seemed to be searching for some confirmation in Dean's face. Dean kept himself still, telling himself he must not look away. In the end, Sam's shoulders sagged. He nodded.

"Let's go then," he said, sounding faintly resigned. "And thanks."

Dean shrugged.

"I wasn't going to let Luohi have you, man."

But Sam shook his head.

"Not for that. That's expected. Thanks for being honest, Dean."

If that was all it took for Sam, Dean actually regretted all the secrets he had well-meaningly kept from his brother in the past.

They left the library. Jess was in the living room, her back to them. Sam stopped in his tracks.

"Hey, Dean," he began, "Give me a moment alone, won't you?"

Dean hesitated. He noticed Jessica's tense posture and wondered if she knew Sam was leaving – or if she was real enough to matter that she knew. But it obviously mattered to Sam, and Dean could not bear to deny him.

"I'll wait outside," was all he said.

Outside, the black swan was circling above the forest. It still was not close enough to warrant any concerns, but Dean could not help feeling on edge as he watched it.

The cottage door opened and Sam was by his side. Dean glanced at him. Sam wasn't looking his way, but Dean could not help noticing that his brother appeared somehow happier – definitely lighter that before.

"Sam?" he prompted, wanting to know if his brother was really all right.

Sam nodded curtly.

"It was good to say good bye properly," he admitted. "Let's go home, Dean."

He did not wait for Dean to follow him. Dean watched him move away, not knowing what to say. Seeing Jessica Moore again, even this figment of Jessica Moore that wasn't actually real, seemed to have brought Sam some much needed closure. And for that, Dean was almost grateful for Luohi's spell.

xxxxXXXxxx

They walked down the path that led away from the cottage in silence. Dean glanced at Sam from time to time, but Sam did not seem too inclined to talk about the fantasy world Luohi had sent him to, and Dean was not really sure he wanted to know, either. The black swan was still circling in the sky. Dean knew it was getting closer.

"Elias said we have to make sure it doesn't catch up with us," Dean said. "Otherwise it would be bad."

Sam nodded. He had assumed as much.

"So, how do we get out of here?" he wanted to know.

Dean shrugged.

"I don't know, dude. It's your noggin' after all."

"Well, where did you come from?" Sam asked testily.

"I kinda appeared out of thin air close to the cottage," Dean admitted. "Maybe you need to click your heels, if you want to get back home."

Dean did not need to be looking at Sam to know his brother was wearing his trademark "you're-the-world's-biggest-jerk" look. He smirked. If Sam was capable of giving him the stink eye, it meant things were good.

"Let's just keep walking," Dean decided. "We're bound to get somewhere."

For a while they walked without any incident. Dean soon realized, however, that it was getting cold. The sky was becoming cloudy and dark. He frowned.

"Sam?" he asked worriedly.

Sam shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I'm not in charge of anything that's happening here. Maybe Luohi found out about your little rescue attempt."

That was what worried Dean. If Luohi knew, there was no way she was going to allow them to escape so easily. And if something happened to them, they were on their own. There was nothing that Cas – or anyone else from the other side – could do.

They were close to the forest when they stopped short, hearing a growl from behind them. They turned around at the same time to see something like a wolf bounding for them. They took several steps back. Dean had his gun out. He shot the thing twice, but it did not seem to slow it down.

"I'm guessing if we get torn to pieces here, it's going to affect us in the real world, too, right?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded tersely.

"This is Luohi trying to prevent us from escaping."

Dean noticed the swan was getting closer.

"She's trying to hold us here until it's too late," he said. "The wolf is just a distraction."

They had managed to put a boulder between them and the beast. The wolf was crouching, ready to pounce.

Dean looked behind him. He could make out a path through the trees, clear and well tended. It had to be the way out. If they followed that road, they would find their way back in the real world. The only problem was, they would not be allowed to follow it. The wolf would be on them before they managed to make it back. They could not both get out of this.

"Sam, keep walking," he urged.

He himself did not look inclined to walk anywhere. His gun was once more pointed at the wolf.

"What?" Sam asked. "What the hell are you trying to do, Dean?"

"You're the one Luohi cursed," Dean snapped. "You're the one who's gotta get out of here."

But Sam wouldn't budge, of course.

"And, you're what?" he argued. "Invincible? Expendable? Dean, we need to have a serious talk about your issues."

"Lucky for me, now's not the time," Dean quipped.

The wolf pounced straight at Sam, probably recognizing him as the one marked by Luohi. Dean placed himself in his brother's path. He registered Sam's panicked "Dean, no!" before the creature was on him, all teeth and sharp claws. It reminded him so much of the hellhounds, it nearly drove him mad.

The gun was wrenched from his hand and, before Dean knew it, he was down, with the wolf above him. Dimly, he heard Sam shout and then the wolf was wrenched away from him. He could hear the sound of a struggle over the roaring in his ears. He struggled to pull himself together. Sam might need his help. But he did not think he had the strength to get up anymore. For the second time that day, he allowed the fog to engulf him.

xxxXXXXxxxxx

Mary was standing in the doorway, watching her sons. Ever since Dean drank the potion neither him not Sam had given any indication of waking up. She wondered where they were and what they were seeing – and what they were forced to fight, on their own, as usual. Mary felt incredibly helpless. She wished she could leave, scour the country for Luohi and Piru, take revenge on them for what they had done to her boys. Only, that was not what they needed from her, was it? She was beginning to understand now. After all those years being absent from their lives, the only thing her sons had wanted from Mary was for her to be there with them. Not for her to fix her mistakes and get them out of hunting. They had just wanted her to stay with them. The idea that she might never have the chance to let them know she understood broke her heart.

Castiel was further in the room, watching the brothers just as intently as she was. He had said something about trying to see if he could help, although he also insisted that if Sam and Dean became in danger, no one in the real world might realize it until it was too late, and, even so, they would not be able to provide any assistance. Mary was sure he would try, though. The bond these three shared was the kind of bond that made one do desperate things – or come up with impossible solutions.

Suddenly, Dean jolted on the bed as if he had been electrocuted. Mary froze. Her son did not wake up, though.

"What is it?" she asked breathlessly. "What's happening."

Castiel approached Dean and peered into his face. He shook his head. When he turned to look at Mary, his eyes were wide with horror.

"We're losing him," he said.

He crossed the room to Sam and inspected him as well.

"We're losing both of them."

Mary understood now what people meant when they talked about hearing something that made their world shatter.

xxXXXxxxx

Sam struggled with the wolf, trying to steer it away from Dean. He did not dare to glance back where Dean was lying, afraid of what he might discover. He managed to get a hold of Dean's gun. He ducked the snapping teeth of the creature and placed the muzzle against its chest. He pulled the trigger.

The loud band nearly deafened him. The thing above him snarled, pain and surprise all in one. Then it vanished in a flash of black smoke.

Sam staggered towards Dean and fell down beside him. His brother lay, pale and still, covered in blood. Sam's hands were shaking as he searched for a pulse. He found it, faint and irregular. It did not look good. Sam shook his head.

"No," he said, shaking his brother. "No, don't you dare, Dean. You're not gonna die in some wacked out world inside my head. You hearing me, Dean? I won't let you!"

The wind picked up around them. Sam had the impression he could hear voices laughing at him.

xxxxXXXxxxxx

Helmi was in the library with Elias and Ketch. The atmosphere between the two could be cut with a knife, and the only reason why Helmi was still there was because she did not think leaving Elias alone with the British Man of Letters was the smartest thing to do. She did not think the managers of Apostles of Shadow would appreciate it if the founding member of the band got accused of murder.

She was brought out of her thoughts by several loud bangs against the Bunker door. All three of them turned to look at each other.

"What the hell is going on?" Helmi asked.

Ketch went to the computer that showed the live feed from the cameras outside the Bunker. Helmi followed him. She spotted several creatures that looked very much like the one they had in their dungeon. Some of them were carrying what looked suspiciously like a battering ram which they were banging against the door.

"Hiidet," Helmi said. "They're here."

Ketch nodded, frowning.

"We're under attack," he said.

Yes, yes, I know. Another cliffhanger. What can I do? They're fun.

-The black swan of Tuonela is supposed to guard the river that borders the land of the dead and sing death spells. Also, apologies to any Finns out there for my loose interpretation of your mythology (but, then again, Supernatural itself played fast and loose with myths, too).