Later that evening, when Blaine was fully awake and Kurt made sure that he ate enough, he told him about the call with Madam Tibideaux. As Kurt mentioned the part about redoing his exams, Blaine's face lit up and his eyes grew wide with shock.
"Are you serious? I can redo all of them?"
"Yes! I know it's a lot of exams and it's not a lot of time but it's all I could get."
"Kurt! That's more than I could have ever asked for!" Blaine was smiling so wide that he started chucking, then cry-laughing. He stared at Kurt with an expression of complete joy and admiration.
"I can't believe this, Kurt. Thank you so much!" Blaine said while practically jumping out of his seat to give Kurt a tight hug.
Kurt was surprised by the hug but he squeezed back and felt his jaw ache from how widely he was smiling. He forgot how happy Blaine's smile made him.
As they broke apart from the hug, there was a brief moment where they were grinning at each other and they each stole a glance at the other's lips. Blaine quickly turned away, so Kurt looked down before anything happened.
Kurt knew that he couldn't be the one to make the first move. Whatever happens between us in the future has to be Blaine's choice, Kurt thought. Surprisingly, he wasn't mad about it at all. Seeing Blaine get so excited after all this time made him too happy to think about anything else.
Blaine was still smiling widely when he looked away from Kurt and glanced around the room. He knew he wasn't ready to take such a big step yet. He had a lot of feelings he had to deal with before anything happened with Kurt and with exams looming around the corner, he couldn't spend his time thinking about anything else.
All he wanted to do now was make the most of his second chance.
Blaine took a deep breathe and allowed himself to feel the pure, unbridled happiness that was bubbling inside him. The air felt lighter, the lights seemed brighter and the apartment somehow felt safer and more like home than it had before. He glanced over at Kurt and smiled widely as he saw Kurt's happy expression.
"I don't know how to thank you Kurt, this is the best thing anyone had every done for me."
"Blaine, don't be silly. It's the least I could do, I mean that's what friends are for, right?"
"Right," Blaine beamed up at Kurt and tried not to let his thoughts show on his face.
Blaine wasn't used to the word "friends" coming out of Kurt's mouth but he didn't know if it was because they hadn't talked in a while or because he felt like they were more than friends. Whatever it was through, he knew that a "friend" was what he needed right now. He did however, promise himself that if a moment between them felt right in the future, he wouldn't stop himself.
Blaine was pulled out of his thoughts as Kurt started talking.
"I would also like to help you study if that's okay. I think we have some similar classes so I could give you my notes, or test you on stuff, if you want."
Blaine felt a wave of panic washed over him as he thought about how much he actually had to do this week. Flashes of memories from the last time he had to study this much filled his mind and it was hard to ignore the feelings that came with them. He remembered the exhaustion and emptiness that would nag at him everyday as he practiced dance routines in his tiny, dark apartment. He remembered staying up all night turning endless pages of highlighted notes, and how his hands would shake when he tried and failed to play the piano. I couldn't do it then so why would I be able to do it now? I prepared so much for those exams and still did terribly. Why would this time be any different? This is impossible, he thought.
Kurt noticed that Blaine was breathing heavily in a very similar manner to the way he was before he left the apartment this morning. Blaine started rubbing his fingers together nervously while he stared at his hands and occasionally glanced up at the door. As Kurt watched him, something in his mind clicked and he knew now what was happening or about to happen. Kurt felt concern rising in his chest but he tried to stay calm and mentally prepare himself to help. Blaine's voice was a little shaky when he spoke.
"I-I need to get my books, I have to practice my routines, I need to s-start studying right now."
Blaine was about to get off the couch but Kurt grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit back down. Blaine whipped his head around to glare at Kurt as he struggled against his hold. Kurt just held Blaine's arm tighter and pulled him back as he recognised the look of fear on Blaine's face. Kurt stifled the last embers of his own concern so he could project his calmness onto Blaine.
"Blaine, stop moving. You don't need to start studying right now."
"But I have so much-"
"Blaine, sit down!" Blaine knew he couldn't argue with Kurt's commanding tone so he stopped squirming and sat down. His body was still tense as he glanced between the arm rest and the door to the apartment while blinking rapidly. Kurt put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and squeezed tightly while angling Blaine so that he slowly turned to face Kurt. Blaine seemed to be lost in his thoughts and his eyes were red as he was breathing a bit fast.
"Blaine, you need to calm down. Everything's going to be fine, okay? Nothing's wrong, you're safe." Kurt said slowly while staring into Blaine's eyes.
Blaine nodded as he exhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a second.
"I didn't meant to scare you about the exams but trust me, you have enough time. Also, I don't mean to toot my own horn but I did pretty well on my exams so I think I can help you ace yours too if you'll let me."
Blaine nodded and started taking deep breaths while staring at Kurt and focusing on Kurt's voice as he continued speaking.
"Even without my help, Blaine, you're smart. You're really smart and you're talented as hell. There's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it so just relax and try your best. I know you can do this."
Blaine smiled slightly and started breathing normally again. Kurt let out a sigh of relief and adjusted his grip on Blaine's shoulders so he was no longer firmly holding him in place. He had one hand on Blaine's shoulder reassuringly as he spoke.
"Is there anything else that you were concerned about? Or was it just the exams?"
Blaine contemplated for a few seconds but he realized he couldn't lie to Kurt anymore. Kurt had done everything for him, he owed him his honestly.
"I'm scared to go back to my apartment. It's where I studied last time and I know being there will just remind me of failing."
"Well, that's an easy fix. Just stay here."
"I can't ask you to do that, Kurt. I don't-"
"Your not asking, Blaine. I'm telling you that I want you to come and stay here. Are you gonna say no to your only and bestest friend?" Kurt opened his mouth in a fake shocked expression.
Blaine smirked and muttered, "No."
"Good. Now if you really want to study, we can go get your things and you can start but you really don't have to. It's up to you."
"I want to study now"
"Ok, let's go then" Kurt gave Blaine's shoulder one last squeeze before he got up to get ready to leave.
As soon as Kurt made it to his bedroom, he let his calm resolve crumble and he rubbed his eyes as he thought about what just happened. That was too quick, he got worked up way too quickly. How the hell did he deal with this on his own? How often did this happen? Kurt had done a lot of research this afternoon and it did help him understand what Blaine was going through, but he was still very concerned. He knew they were in for a stressful week and he was scared about what could happen.
Kurt had no problem taking care of Blaine but he knew that his own worrying would drive him insane if they didn't get outside help.
He needs to go back to the therapist. If he doesn't want to take a break and go this week, then he has to go next week. I'll drag him there if I have to, Kurt decided.
Kurt thought about it as he got ready and he figured that if he was going to drag Blaine there anyway, it couldn't harm if he went in for a few sessions. He knew he had some personal issues he had to work through if he wanted to be his best self for Blaine and he also wanted to talk to someone about how he was feeling now. He had read about caregiver stress leading to issues in relationships and he definitely wanted to avoid that in any way he could.
The week wasn't as bad as Kurt thought it would be.
Blaine spent most of his time studying intently and when Kurt caught him staring into space or getting agitated, he tried his best to distract him or ask him questions to take his mind off of whatever was bothering him. Kurt didn't know if what he was doing was helpful but Blaine seems to smile or lean into his touch when he tried to reassure him. Blaine didn't have any panic attacks, but he did freak out over a particularly scary nightmare.
Kurt woke up one night to the sound of loud sobs and screams coming from the living room as Blaine was sleeping on the couch. When Kurt woke him up, Blaine didn't want to be alone so they decided that he should try sleeping in the bedroom. After that day, Blaine slept in the bed with Kurt every night and they cuddled occasionally. They both knew that the way they cuddled wasn't very "friendly" but Blaine needed it and Kurt couldn't say he didn't want it too.
Besides that, everything ran smoothly. Kurt made sure Blaine ate and slept properly, he tested him on his notes, they practiced routines together, and they ended up singing a few duets but it was all in the name of "studying." Blaine took a study break for dinner every day and those breaks were the highlight of Kurt's day. They would talk about anything and everything while Kurt tried his best to make Blaine laugh with some outrageous story that he sometimes made up.
When the week was over and all the exams were done, there was nothing left to do but wait for the results.
