Summary: It's time to face up to their feelings, it's time to be honest with one another. Or will the revelations push them further apart?
Nikki walked into her living room, two hot drinks in her hand. He had made himself comfortable on her sofa, Matt's dressing gown wrapped around him. She did her best to ignore the fact that it was too small for him, the sleeves tight around his muscles. She recalled the memory of herself wearing it the night after she had slept with Matt for the first time. She had been wearing only that for the whole morning they questioned her but somehow the only thing - or person rather - that had made her nervous was Jack.
She hadn't realised it at the time, her mind too busy with the fact that yet another person she had taken an interest in had very nearly ended up dead. But in the moments she thought of nothing, she thought of Jack and how his hand had burned her skin when he'd comforted her. She knew the last person that should've been on her mind was Jack, but he was always there. Lurking around in her brain.
She snapped out of it, hearing Jack clearing his throat at the fact she had stopped dead. Her lips twitched, she wasn't doing a very good job of being a shoulder to cry on. She moved, handing the mug over to him which he took from her; grateful for the extra warmth seeping through the china. The goosebumps had disappeared and he could feel his toes again but he was still shaking. Although he was beginning to doubt that it had anything to do with him being cold.
He watched her carefully as she sat down next to him, she was avoiding his eye. He couldn't tell why, but the silence was settling amongst them. There was a sense of awkwardness now and he knew that she had plenty of questions she had wanted to ask him. Most important being why had he turned up on her doorstep at three in the morning with red rings around his eyes and the rain soaked through to his bones.
She was looking at him now, taking in the full state he had rocked up in. There was a wound above his eyebrow, the same spot it always was; obviously weak from where it had been broken so many times over the years. She wanted to chuckle at the fact that that pretty much summed the two of them up. Broken. Damaged. Words that the pair had carried with them for so long.
They were both as bad as each other. Maybe that was what brought them together, two lost souls in the darkness; both trying to find an ounce of happiness between them. Jack had his guilt and Nikki had hers. Perhaps they could cancel out each others. Nikki shook her head at that thought, knowing she was getting ahead of herself now.
The silence was getting agonising now and she wasn't sure how much more of it she could take; her mind whirring with thoughts and questions. She reached a point where she didn't know which one to ask first. Which one will give her the best answer. She settled on the why for now.
"Why are you here Jack?" He jumps at her question, her voice filling the room.
His eyes connected with hers and the lump was already forming in his throat; he hadn't even started talking yet. And now he was beginning to regret coming here, his subconscious had obviously been telling him that it was time to face his demons. But his fight or flight was kicking in and he'd lost his nerve now. A chill wafted into the room, sending a shiver down his spine; a reminder that he was going to have to fight whether he liked it or not, he wasn't exactly in the right attire to be running off again and he'd only just warmed up.
He took a deep breath, her soft brown eyes boring into him. He couldn't run away, even if he had more than just an old dressing gown on. It was always her, keeping him there. Keeping him from falling off the edge. He waited for the words to form in his head, he wanted them to come out right. He didn't want her to get the wrong end of the stick. But his mind was jumbled, all the different events from over the years merging into one. He heard her voice again, gentle. Like the hand that's now resting on his forearm. It brings him back into the room and out of his head. The question is more clear now, he knows where to start; the reason why he had rushed here just to see her face in the first place.
"I thought they had taken you away from me again," he began, his voice rough from all the crying. "We had argued, I was angry. And then you disappeared. It was like Mexico all over again, your voice on the phone. Your cries and your screams. And Thomas. A reminder of how I failed him as well, I let him down."
She stayed quiet, wanting to let him speak and get it off his chest. But she could feel her heart breaking. She had known he was suffering, from the very beginning. But he had been too stubborn to do anything about it. He thought he could cope with it, deal with it in his own destructive way. But even she knew that this wasn't something that you could forget about in a week. She had done the therapy, she had talked about it countless times but it still haunted her. It still creeped up on her at her weakest moments. Today had been proof of that.
"It felt so real and it terrified me," he continued. "I really thought I had managed to lose you a second time round. Only this time, I thought, I might not get you back. That you had gone forever. That's why I came here, I needed to see that you were still here. That you hadn't been taken and that you were okay. That you weren't tr-" He closed his eyes, determined to not let the tears take over him again. But as he screwed up his face, he felt the sharp pain above his eyebrow and he knew that it had opened. The blood soon dribbling down the side of his face.
Without thinking, Nikki reached out, her thumb stopping the scarlet liquid in its travels. She had a first aid box somewhere but she found herself glued to the spot. She didn't want to leave him. It would only be a thirty second walk to the kitchen and back but even that felt too long. His eyes opened again as he looked up at her. She couldn't stop the way her own had drifted down to his lips, she cursed herself. There was a time and a place and this really wasn't it. Not when he was like this, not when he was as vulnerable as this.
She moved now, knowing that something would happen if she didn't. But she couldn't tell who would've made the first move. Either possibility scared her. Her feet carried her to the kitchen as she retrieved the green box from under her sink and made her way back to him. He hadn't moved an inch. She didn't know what she had been worrying about.
Nikki placed herself next to him, trying to ignore the flutters as her leg rested on his. Using her hand, she pulled him to face her so she could look at the wound properly. It wasn't deep but it did look nasty. As she sat the first aid box in between them she could feel a burning sensation on her thigh. She looked down to see that it had been his palm. She was growing breathless and she hated the fact that he could have this much of an effect on her, it was just his hand.
But it had been the same hand that had explored her whole body, touched her in ways no one else had. The same hand that had wrapped around her neck as he pushed her over the edge. She had felt the power behind those fingers, she had had them tugging at her hair.
She wanted to shake herself for allowing her mind to wander again, but these were always the thoughts she had at this time of the night. But unlike the other times, Jack was actually here and the temptation to let him have his way with her was becoming too much to bear.
However, the blood that was still trickling down his cheek was a much more pressing matter. She snapped out of it, her face growing more serious as she switched her doctors brain on. She carefully cleaned the wound, not missing how his breathing had become shallow the closer she inched towards him.
His hand was itching to move, he didn't know why he had put it there in the first place. He knew it was risky and crossing the boundary again but she didn't appear to have a problem with it. And he knew Nikki, if she had a problem she would tell him. Her face was getting closer to his as she cleared away the blood. The stinging had stopped, or at least the beating of his heart was distracting him enough that he couldn't feel it anymore. A chill ran down his spine as her other hand rested at his jawline, trying to stop his head from moving.
The feeling of her thumb against his cheek was beginning to become too much for him to handle and he knew that he was about to do something stupid. He reached up, taking hold of her wrist, stilling her movements as she placed butterfly stitches over the wound. She looked down at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I've never stopped thinking about it," his voice was low, barely a whisper. They hadn't actually spoken about what happened since, well, since it happened. When Jack came back from Mexico and Nikki had stayed out in New York he thought that that was it. That it was their one and only chance but it wasn't meant to be. So when she came back he had just assumed that she didn't want to talk about it. But over the past few months, he couldn't get it out of his head and it was driving him round the bend.
She doesn't need to ask, she already knows what he's talking about. It was as though their minds were in sync with each other. Her heart skipped a beat as she suddenly remembered something her mother had said to her when she was younger. It had been whimsical and at her young age she didn't take it seriously but as she looked at him, she realised then that it was true.
"They say that when two people are destined to be together, they are joined by an invisible thread. The thread will stretch across the world, it might even tangle but it will never break," Carol's voice soothing Nikki as her fingers ran through her daughters blonde locks.
"That's just silly mum," Nikki replied, the South African accent still strong at that age.
"You say that now Nicola Alexander but one day you will meet someone who will take you by surprise," Carol continued despite the curious expression on her daughters face. "You won't realise it at first but one day it will click and you'll feel the thread; pulling you towards them. And you won't be able to stop it because no matter what happens you'll always be connected."
Her mother had been right, this whole time. Everything made sense now. Why he had been the one to never leave her, why he had always stuck around. Why she had always been drawn to him, even from the very beginning. She had never been one to believe in destiny or fate, she had always been let down. And that innocence that she had tried to hold on to for so long disappeared after her mother died. The cynic inside her relished and clouded her judgement at every given opportunity.
But she could feel herself changing, Jack chipping away at her and allowing her to see a light at the end of the tunnel. A sort of hope that she had lost a lifetime ago. Her thoughts were racing now but they couldn't formulate a single word let alone string a sentence together so she stayed quiet, letting Jack speak.
"Why did you go?" He asked. She had been anticipating that questions for years, surprised that it had taken him this long to come up with it. And he deserved an answer, but he wasn't going to come out of this unscathed. She was ready to give him an answer the moment she got home but he had been the one who didn't want to talk.
"Why did you ignore me for two months?" She quipped, she didn't want to come across annoyed but given the look on his face now, she knew that she had. She let out a sigh as she bowed her head and dropped her arm from his grasp. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. But I wanted to talk to you the moment I got home. I wanted to explain everything. But then you wouldn't answer and it all caught up with me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe. I kept seeing his face in every reflection. And all I wanted was to hear your voice," there was a sense of anger bubbling up inside her. A rage that she had squashed down at the time because she didn't want to make things worse than they already were. "The only voice that kept me sane in that box."
It was all coming out now and she couldn't tell if that was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. This was an unfinished conversation that they needed to complete years ago. But whereas before, they got interrupted and it was never brought up again. This time, there was no chance of that. They were completely alone, sat in Nikki's living room at three in the morning. Who was going to interrupt them?
"Nikki I'm so sorry," he started; she could tell that he was trying his hardest to hold it together. "Eva put you in that box because she knew that I would do anything to get you back. I even got a man killed just so I could see you again…" he trailed off not quite sure of where he was going with this. But he glanced up at her and he could almost see the cogs turning in her head as she listened intently and without judgement. "When I seen you on that beach I didn't know what to do with myself. I suppose I got caught up in the moment. When you went to New York, after what happened, I thought that we had taken things too far. I went out there to bring you home and I came back without you and our friendship ruined. I failed you, in more ways than one."
Nikki took hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly in hers, "Jack you haven't failed me at all. I left because I needed some time to sort everything out in my head," she explained. "We slept together Jack. It was a heat of the moment thing and it took me by surprise because you're Jack. Sweet, caring and loving Jack. And I destroy things, I destroy people. I didn't want to destroy you. I didn't want to lose you so I ran before I could hurt you even more." The tears slipped down her cheeks as she took a deep breath.
"After I spoke to Harry, he made me realise that I need to stop running away from things that make me happy," her lips twitched and her heart raced. "And even if something went wrong, I wouldn't lose you because I wouldn't let it happen. You mean too much to me."
"Nikki what I said in the hospital," he paused, his eyes transfixed on hers now. But he didn't need to say anything more, she already knew. Nikki gave him the smallest of nods, the smile growing across her face.
She felt like a teenager again, her whole body tingling with excitement as she leaned forward, closing that gap between them. Their lips met in the middle, Jack's hand shooting up to cup her cheek, wanting to hold her close. He could feel the relief washing over him and he felt himself relax for the first time in a long time; the adrenaline coursing through his veins as her mouth melted against his.
She was pushing him back so she could straddle his lap, memories from that night in Mexico flashing in her mind; the pictures more vivid than before. She could feel his fingers running through her hair again as a groan escaped the base of her throat. Their movements frantic as her hand clawed at the dressing gown he still had on.
The hand that wasn't gripping at her, slowly travelled down the curves of her body. He pushed against her as she bucked her hips. They had done this before, they had known how it felt. They had quickly learnt what makes the other tick. The blood was rushing around and he knew that he wasn't going to last much longer, not when he already knew the memory of her touch.
But suddenly her lips left his with a look on her face that made his body run cold, "This is wrong," her voice barely a whisper. "You're vulnerable right now and I don't want to take advantage of that."
His hands were smoothing her hair down now as he stared into her eyes; the contact was strong, he needed her to know that what he was about to say, he meant every word of it, "I came here because I needed to see you, I needed to be with you. It wasn't my intention to let this happen but it was always going to," he was tucking his face into her neck, his lips tracing over her skin. A satisfied smirk spread across his face as she moved, giving him more access.
"I need you Nikki Alexander, more than bloody life itself. And if there's one person who's going to help me get through all of this, it's you," he had mumbled into her flesh.
The vibrations of his voice ran through her body, making her shiver with anticipation. But she couldn't help but get distracted by his words, was he finally admitting that he needed help and that he couldn't do this completely on his own? Her eyes were searching his now as he removed his lips from her jawline. The silence settled around them, they didn't need to say anything else.
They hadn't slept, by the time they had got upstairs it was only another hour and a half before they had to be at work. So instead, they lay there in each other's arms; their bodies entwined. Nikki's fingers were smoothing over the hair on Jack's arm as it rested across her bare waist.
There had been one other question that had been playing on her mind for the whole day. She hadn't wanted to bring it up earlier, she'd wanted Jack to get everything off his chest that he needed to and, she had figured, that he hadn't given the woman a second thought with everything else going on. But she was still wracking her brain over why DI Ashton had asked for Jack to be removed. She had known something happened between them, she had seen them flirt with each other often throughout the case but she never thought it got serious enough for her to act in such a way. Not even Chrissie had pushed him out like that.
"Are you still awake?" She let out, a smile spreading across her face as his arm tightened around her and his face burrowed further into her neck. She turned in his grasp so she could see him properly.
His eyes had been closed, enjoying the feeling of her body pressed against his and he was at peace, knowing that she wasn't going anywhere. He still held her close though, just in case. But he could sense her glaring at him and he knew the exact look she had on her face. It was the same look she always had when she was about to ask a serious question, and he wasn't sure if he was going to like it or not. He reluctantly opened his eyes but as he caught sight of her, his lips twitched involuntary and he was sure his heart had skipped a beat.
Jack didn't give her a chance to ask her question, his mouth on hers for no other reason other than the fact that he was just able to. Nikki welcomed it, her body unable to fight against him; she liked the way he felt too much. She stilled his hand as it brushed her side. As much as she wanted to give in to him she did want some kind of an answer to a question she was yet to ask.
"Jack," she spoke into his mouth, trying to stop the kiss. She couldn't help but chuckle as he continued with his intentions. His lips left hers as they started their own journey; peppering across her jawline. She could feel herself slowly succumbing to his movements, her fingers knitting through his short, brown hair as his body loomed over hers. She gasped as he bit down into her skin and the pleasure ripped through her. "What happened between you and DI Ashton?" She finally managed to get out.
He stopped dead, not expecting that to come out of her mouth and he was beginning to wonder when she had the time to think over it. He lifted his head, his eyes connected with hers.
"Where's that come from?"
She raised an eyebrow at him, as if it wasn't obvious, "She removed you from the case yesterday Jack, she wouldn't do that unless something serious had happened," she breathed. "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it, it's just I don't remember you saying anything at the time."
Jack bowed his head, he should've known Nikki would question it at some point; she is Nikki after all. It hadn't been something he'd thought twice about at the time, finding it easier to put it to the back of his head. It had all been put to bed then and things had been forgiven between himself and Kate, he never thought she'd boot him off a case because of it however.
As much as he wanted to try, he knew he wasn't going to get out of this question so he settled down next to her, his head returning to the pillow. He reached out, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she gazed back at him.
"You remember that day when I went to the crime scene and ended up in hospital?" He began, waiting for her to respond before he continued; Nikki just settled with a simple nod, her fingers brushing over the small scar on his torso. Jack's breath hitched at her touch, he could feel the goosebumps. "When we were doing a sweep of the area, she tried to kiss me."
Nikki pulled her eyebrows together, "I'm assuming you didn't want her to kiss you?"
Jack shook his head, "I said that I could report her for it but she told me that she would just turn it back around on me," he sighed, he recalled how he had joked about it with Clarissa; he was starting to miss her making light of dark moments, her quick and wistful quotes. "I left it because I just thought, who are they going to believe? Her word against mine Nikki, doesn't stand for much."
"I would've backed you. Clarissa and Thomas too," Nikki pointed out.
"I know," he gave her a soft smile as his arms moved to bring her closer to him, her body now flush against his. Her hand rested on his chest, his heart beating under her palm. "It was just a kiss, no big deal. Forgot about it within a week anyway."
"She still took advantage of you though and it's not exactly fair that she's punishing you for something she did," she spoke. She opened her mouth, still not finished with her point, but he was quickly interrupting her.
"Nikki I know what you're going to say and don't," he warned, although his tone wasn't completely serious. "I don't want you raking it all up, it's done now, forgotten about. I'm not bothered about the case, it's really not that big of a deal."
"I just think it's out of order that she-" his lips were on hers again, stopping her. Despite having more to say, she found herself relaxing into the kiss, her hand cupping his cheek as he moved on top of her again; their bodies fitting together as though they were perfectly matched. The last pieces of a puzzle.
It had been a week. A week since Jack and Nikki had started this unofficial relationship. They weren't really sure of how to treat it but Jack hadn't been able to keep his hands off her, stealing a kiss from her every time they happened to be alone. Nikki had cursed him on more than one occasion; knowing that someone could walk in at any moment. She didn't want to rush anything and she wanted to keep it to themselves for a little while yet.
She'd dived in head first with her relationship with Matt, wanting to cling onto everything with all her might. She had nearly lost her life in Mexico and she came back appreciating life to the fullest. Matt was a beacon in her cave of darkness and she didn't want to let that go.
But things were different with Jack, she wasn't in that place anymore. She didn't need to grasp onto the moments that brought her happiness because she was already happy. Content. She now had everything she had ever wanted. She hadn't seen a future with Matt, not really - she had been merely living in the moment. But when she looked at Jack she could see it all; her past, her present and her future.
The case hadn't progressed much further but they had managed to track down a name, Jacob Simons. That had been just about it, no other information. No family, no history. Nothing else about this man that they could find. It was as though he didn't exist in the first place.
That was until they had a phone call, they had found another body and the police seem to think it's linked to the first murder. It had been found not five minutes away from the original crime scene and they had found a gun lying next to the body. A gun that could well be the exact gun that killed Jacob; all they had to do was to find out if the bullets matched. And if so, if there was any DNA on the handle that would prove that the now dead man had in fact been the killer of Jacob Simons.
Nikki had taken a step back, for both herself and for Jack. She had managed to keep herself away from DI Ashton, not trusting herself to hold her tongue around the woman; she promised Jack that she wouldn't get involved after all. That hadn't stopped her glares from across the room every time they ended up in the same one. Daggers that hadn't gone unnoticed by Evan whose curiosity peaked even more when he had caught Jack and Nikki leaving the Lyell centre one night, their hands brushing before Jack had slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him and dropping a kiss to her head. Evan had just nodded to himself, finally getting an answer to a question he had had from the moment he'd set foot in the place.
Sam had been in the middle of performing the post mortem when Nikki walked into the observation room. She instantly regretted her decision when she clocked the back of DI Ashton's head. But Kate was already turning around, offering Nikki a small smile.
"Nikki is there a problem?" She asked, noticing the irritated expression on Nikki's face.
Nikki bit the inside of her cheek, she was stuck now and she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold herself back, "Excuse me?" She replied innocently.
Kate raised an eyebrow at her as she folded her arms, "There's clearly an issue so please, whatever it is, get it off your chest."
Nikki's chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath; her mouth set in a straight line. She didn't want this conversation, she had promised Jack. But when has that ever stopped her before? She had always been one to stick her nose into other people's business, unable to stop herself; it had been the investigator inside her, always searching for some kind of an answer.
"Okay," she sighed, taking a step forward and placing her hands on the railings. Her eyes were focused on Sam in the mortuary as she manoeuvred herself around the body. She couldn't meet Kate's eye, she was scared of what she might do if she did. "Why did you take Jack off this case?"
Kate scoffed, expecting that question, "Jack Hodgson is not the man you think he is," she spat, her own hands coming to rest on the metal bar now. "I don't know how long you've known him but I've seen him up close and personal and trust me, I would stay as far away from him as possible."
Nikki shook her head, trying to control her temper as she heard the words coming out of the woman's mouth, "What actually happened between the two of you?" She pushed, intrigued by what she was actually going to come up with. "It must've been serious enough for you to remove him."
Kate's head dipped before she looked over at Nikki, catching her eye, "He tried to kiss me at one of the crime scenes," she said bluntly. "I didn't report it because I didn't want to make a fuss and truthfully, I never thought I would see him again. When I seen him last week it brought it all back and I didn't want him anywhere near me."
She turned away, the irritation bubbling now and she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't hold it in any longer, "That's very different from Jack's version," Nikki pointed out. "Quite the opposite in fact."
"What has he said?" Kate queried, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Enough," Nikki took a step forward, lowering her voice now. "I have known Jack for a long time and although on the outside he can be abrasive and he can lose his temper easily, on the inside he is as soft as butter. And he would never do anything to hurt anyone, nor would he take advantage of anyone. So know this, if you ever decide to take your accusation further, I will be by his side the whole time. It's women like you that make men scared to come forward when they have been abused, in fear that they won't be believed."
A satisfied smile spread across Nikki's face as she watched Kate gulp; suddenly feeling threatened by the shorter, blonde woman. Nikki blinked slowly before pushing past Kate. She continued through the hallway and into the offices, finding Jack sat at his desk. She stopped, watching him for a moment as he studied the piece of paper sitting in front of him. He had been lumbered with the paperwork for the time being, a job he had always hated.
She slowly edged into the room but the heel of her shoes gave her away, his gaze meeting hers as his head snapped up. Her stomach flipped as she watched his whole face light up, his eyes quickly looking around the room. He was checking they were alone before he held his hand out, encouraging her to make her way over to him. Nikki tilted her head as she gave in, her lips twitching as she took hold of his hand and perched herself on his desk.
"Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?" He questioned, recognising that look on Nikki's face.
She raised an eyebrow at him, "Just reminding people of their place that's all," her eyes searched his, waiting for him to click onto it. Once he opened his mouth to speak she knew he had. "Now before you say anything, I only told her that if she were to take it any further then, I would support you the whole way."
"I told you not to get involved," Jack huffed, releasing her hand from his.
"Jack," she let out. "I asked her why she had taken you off the case and she started saying things about you, things that I knew weren't true. And I'm not going to stand back and let her ruin the reputation of a man that I," she paused, feeling breathless now. "That I really care about."
Jack went to say something but he was cut off by the sound of footsteps heading in their direction. His eyes looked around the room, noticing that it had been Kate who came into the room, her face emotionless.
"Jack, can we have a word?" She stopped a few metres from him. She glanced at Nikki briefly before turning to Jack again. "In private?"
His eyes flicked between the two women. He knew Nikki wasn't going to budge and in a way he didn't want her to. She had always been a part of his life but she was even more now. And he wanted to share every part of him with her, so if there was anything that DI Ashton wanted to say to him, she could say it in front of Nikki as well, "Go on, I've nothing to hide so, say what you have to say."
Kate breathed deeply, her hands held together in front of her, "I'm sorry for what happened between us Jack, I misjudged the situation and I took advantage of you," she began. "And I'm sorry for punishing you by taking you off the case as a result of my own actions. So, I'm happy to put this all behind us and to let you back on the case. It does seem idiotic of me to remove a more than capable and brilliant forensic scientist."
Jack nodded slowly, digesting her words, "Thank you," was all he could come up with, it was all she really deserved. There was nothing else to be said about the matter, she had apologised and that's all he needed. She stayed quiet as she left the room, knowing that there was nothing else to be discussed.
He watched as she left, Nikki still sat on the edge of his desk. Her eyes were boring into him. He didn't know how to feel, he was relieved that he finally had something else to do other than paperwork Sam had thrown in his direction. But he couldn't help but feel somewhat annoyed by Nikki, but then he should've known that she would go digging. It was very typical of her. He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at himself, his head bowing.
His hand was taking hold of hers again, squeezing it tightly, "I suppose I should thank you for that," he breathed. Nikki didn't say much else, she just leaned forward; her hands resting either side of his face as her lips captured his. He was taken back, not expecting the public display of affection but he wasn't complaining.
Her lips left his, a twinkle in her eye, "I could think of many ways you could thank me," she whispered, winking at him.
Jack's eyes widened and he knew his face had turned a bright red. He had been acting like a teenager for the past week, unable to get her off his mind and unable to keep his hands away from her. He couldn't help it, she had occupied his mind for the past eight years but now those thoughts were even worse, now that he was able to freely love her as he pleased.
Nikki gasped as he felt his hand snaking up her thigh, she was quick to stop him in his movements, remembering just exactly where they were. And just who could walk in at any moment.
She pulled away from him, not keen on taking things too far at this present moment in time but she couldn't stop the grin that was spreading across her face as she stared back into his eyes. She could feel her cheeks burning pink and she knew that she was going to have to move before things went too far.
She stood, making her way round to her own desk and sitting down on her chair. Although she couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes away from his.
Their gaze was quickly broken, however, by Evan bustling into the room; bags of evidence in his hands. He didn't take much notice of the pair for once, his mind too busy with all the tests he was going to have to run over the next hour. He was surprised when Jack walked over to him, picking up one of the bags, "Do you want me to help?"
Evan's head snapped up, "But I thought you were-"
"Just a big misunderstanding," Jack corrected, winking at Nikki before carrying the knife over to the lab. "Come on then Evan lets get cracking."
Evan's eyes were flicking between Jack and Nikki, his mind whirring with so many thoughts; unable to understand how so much had happened in so little time. And why DI Ashton had suddenly changed her mind about having Jack on the case.
It had been a few hours after Evan and Jack had started processing all the evidence Evan had managed to gather from the second crime scene. But given the fact that they currently still had a dead man with a bullet wound in their freezer and another dead boy found with a gun in his hands, they knew where this was going. They just needed the hard evidence to prove that. They had also recovered a knife from the scene, no doubt the same knife that was used to kill the boy. But at least this time they had a weapon they could work from and hopefully get some evidence.
They were still waiting on the results as Sam called them to the observation room, along with DI Ashton, for a briefing about the post mortem she had just performed. Sam glared at Jack as he walked into the room, making himself comfortable next to Nikki. She was quick to notice that he had slipped a hand underneath the table and she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes as she guessed instantly where it had gone. She was even more shocked by the lack of reaction from DI Ashton, she had asked for Jack to take a step back from the case but she seemingly didn't have a problem with him sitting in now.
Her eyes flicked between them all before she caved and asked, "Is someone going to tell me what's going on?"
Jack's head shot up at Kate's before turning to Sam's, the hand that was now resting on Nikki's thigh tightening. He opened his mouth to speak but DI Ashton had beaten him to it, "I asked Jack if he wanted to join the case again now that we have sorted out our issues."
He avoided the temptation to scoff, she was the one with an issue after all. But he knew it wasn't worth it and he agreed to put it all behind him and forget about it so that was what he was going to do.
Sam nodded slowly, not entirely convinced but not caring all that much in the moment. As long as everyone was getting along with each other then she wasn't bothered about all the formalities. And frankly, she was glad to have Jack back, he always brought insight to the team and it wasn't the same without him.
"Well I'll just get started then," she turned, pressing her fingers on the board to bring up the photos from the post mortem. "I'm still waiting on blood results and DNA analysis to confirm the ID but cause of death was a fatal stab wound to the femoral artery in his left leg. The size of the wound corresponds with the measurements of the knife we found at the scene so it's pretty likely that that was the weapon used. Obviously the tests will confirm if the blood on the knife does belong to our victim."
"Do we know how old he is?" DI Ashton asked.
"I placed his age to be between twenty-five to twenty-eight," Sam confirmed, edging closer to the table in the middle of the room. "Any luck with those witnesses?"
Kate pulled up her notepad, "A woman walking her dog in the area seen a group of young boys running away from around the area of the crime scene. She couldn't be sure but she thought she seen blood on one of them," she explained before looking over at Evan. "Have you checked the gun or knife for fingerprints?"
Evan nodded, "I sent off the samples a couple of hours ago, we should get them back soon," he spoke.
"Did you swab his hands for gunshot residue?" Nikki piped up, directing her question at Sam.
"Yes," Sam answered quickly. "Positive. His right hand."
"So we can say that he is the one who shot Jacob Simons, yes?" DI Ashton queried, her eyes looking around the room.
"We'll have to wait for the test results to come back but I would say that it was pretty likely," Sam spoke, nodding her head.
"So who stabbed him?" DI Ashton pondered, letting out a sigh. "If this woman saw a group of boys running away from the scene, is it possible that it's gang related? Possibly even drugs?"
"An eye for an eye," Jack breathed. Nikki had rested her own hand on top of his where it still sat on her leg. "They kill Jacob so they take one of theirs. This could go on and on for a long time. We'll have to hope that whoever's fingerprints are on that knife, they've been charged before so we can nip this in the bud quickly."
"Who's to say that will be it though?" Nikki pointed out. "How many times have we seen this? Groups of young boys having turf wars, it never ends. They just learn how to work the system and you can't arrest them all."
"No," Kate agreed. "But we can make a small difference and we can teach them that they have to pay for their crimes. We can't defeat them all in one go but we can make a start, make them realise that maybe this isn't the lifestyle they want, give them a chance to make a change."
Nikki listened, knowing that the fellow woman was right. But she had lost count of how many young boys and men she had to do post mortems on over the years. People throwing their lives away for the sake of staying loyal to a group. She supposed it wasn't their fault, society had failed them, failed to give them any decent opportunities in life. Forced them into a world of crime just so they can get by and entertain themselves. She hated it.
She wished with all her power that she could change it, change how the system worked. But she knew that there was little she could do because the cycle would just continue. Again and again. She took a deep breath, trying not to let it get to her too much otherwise she'd be up all night thinking about it and she'd only just caught up on the sleep she lost the night Jack came round. Not that she was complaining, not in the slightest.
The room had gone quiet, there was not much else to say. DI Ashton had been in the middle of packing her stuff up ready to leave when a notification sounded off on Evan's phone. Picking it up from the desk, his eyes widened as he read through the email; the results had come back on the tests he'd run.
"What is it?" Sam urged, noticing the look on his face.
"The boy's name is Akash Khan, he's got previous drug convictions, been in and out of prison," he started, his eyes reading over the words. "It was definitely his prints on the gun. The prints on the knife however, belong to a Charlie Graham. I'll pull his file up now."
Evan moved, typing the name into the laptop in the middle of the desk. A picture of the boy popped up; blonde hair, brown eyes, an almost innocent look on his face. Not at all like the person you would expect to have been involved in drug crimes and at least two murders. "He also has previous for drug convictions," Evan explained. "In his notes it says that he has been known to be involved in various local gangs. All of which are associated with the supplying and selling of drugs."
"Do we have an address for him?" Kate asked.
"Yeah," Evan nodded, already typing it into his phone to send over to the detective, already knowing what she was going to do.
"Jack, will you?" She started but Jack had stood up, raring to go. He knew officially he would be going to do a forensic sweep of the area and to collect DNA from the suspect but he also knew that DI Ashton was going to need an extra pair of hands; should anything happen.
He didn't miss the worried look on Nikki's face however and from the way she was clenching her fist against her thigh he knew that she was itching to take hold of his hand. Ever since that night he found that it had always been her reaching to hold his hand, or resting her head on his shoulder. He'd never seen her like it before, it had always been him; something he had a hard time controlling over the years. Her soft touch made his heart flutter in ways he never thought it could and he was beginning to wonder why they had wasted so much time getting to this point.
As his eyes caught with hers, he suddenly realised that he didn't care if people knew about them. It had only been a week but they lived in their own world anyway, it didn't matter if people were aware of their change in relationship. Leaning down he pressed his lips onto the top of her head.
Nikki almost jumped, her eyes darting around the room. But no one was taking much notice of them; they had all probably guessed anyway, they hadn't been doing that great of a job hiding it. She leaned into his touch; she knew that he would be fine and he could protect himself but after everything that had happened, she just wished that he wouldn't put himself into unnecessary danger. Anything could happen and the last thing she wanted - or needed - right now was to sit next to Jack in yet another hospital bed. She wasn't sure if she would be able to cope this time, not after so much had been said between them. Not now when they were finally at the place they had always wanted to be. Not now when she was finally happy.
She didn't say anything to him, she didn't need to. Jack already knew what she was thinking, every single word. And she hoped that he was listening. And that he wasn't just going to go charging in there all heroic and wanting to be the one to save the day. A shiver ran down her spine as he walked away from her, the loss of contact between them giving her chills.
She was baffled at how much had changed between them in such a short space of time. But when she dug into it, not that much had changed. They were just being open and honest with each other; allowing themselves to love freely and show affection - something she had caught a glimpse of with her relationship with Matt. But that didn't feel genuine. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself that she loved him to crush down the feelings she had for Jack.
But with Jack it all felt so easy; natural. She didn't have to try or make an effort. She could just simply be. Her lips twitched fondly as she watched him leave through the doorway; her cheeks growing warmer by the second. She felt like a teenager all over again, but she was going to cling onto that feeling with all her might. And although she could hear the voice at the back of her head, telling her of what might happen if it all went wrong, she ignored it. Even if it did go wrong they'd still be friends; that she was sure of.
Sam watched the interaction between the pair, a smirk spreading across her as she nodded her head to herself, finally, she thought. She had been wondering just how long it was going to take before they cracked and after what had happened last week she wasn't surprised. Seeing that body had obviously brought up memories for the both of them and from what Nikki had mentioned over the past couple of months she assumed that it had something to do with that case in Mexico. And if it did then other things would've been brought up as well. She was happy for them, it was about time they'd stopped dancing around each other. She chuckled as she thought about what their previous colleagues would be saying now, no doubt feeling just as relieved as she was - and she'd only been here for the best part of a year.
Her eyes had connected with Evan's briefly, the two of them thinking the same thing as they too left the observation room; leaving Nikki alone with her thoughts.
DI Ashton and Jack drove to the address Evan had sent over to them. It wasn't that far away and from what Jack could gather, it was in the middle of the two crime scenes; give or take a few metres.
Not much was said on the journey; there was nothing worth saying. And despite the fact they had made up and agreed to forget about it, Jack was hoping that they could wrap up the case pretty soon. The less time he spent with DI Ashton the better. He still didn't trust her completely.
But he didn't have much time to think over it as they were pulling up into the street; both shocked to find that it was rather ordinary. Almost middle class Jack would argue. Certainly not what he expected a 'leader of the gang' to live. Although this Charlie Graham did seem to look very young in the photos so no doubt he still lived with his parents and no doubt he was just some young lad that had gotten too big for his boots.
Jack and Kate shared a brief look between them before they made their way to the front door of the house. They were shocked to be greeted by a short, pleasant looking woman who still had a smile on her face despite her eyebrows furrowing at the pair staring back at her.
Kate was pulling out her badge from her pocket, "My name is DI Ashton, can we have a word with your son Charlie please?"
Jack almost felt his ears prick up as he heard the sound of a gate crashing in the distance, he slowly turned his head only to see a young boy running; one who looked rather like the young boy in the photo. Innocent people don't run, he thought to himself as he patted Kate on the arm before chasing after the boy.
His mum was calling after her son and he knew that Kate was trying to hold her back and take control of the situation. The boy had managed to get a bit of a head start but Jack was catching up quickly. He could hear sirens approaching them and he knew that if he didn't catch him then somebody would. But that didn't stop him though as his legs continued to carry him through the small side streets and alleyways. He was losing his breath; a reminder that despite making sure to keep himself as fit as possible, he wasn't getting any younger.
Jack took a few strides into the road, his hand reaching out to grab the boys jacket when he felt himself being pushed down to the floor; his whole body crashing against the concrete. He groaned as he felt a sharp pain in his side. He could see the people getting out of their car, ready to help him but he was trying to push himself off the floor, trying to keep an eye on the young boy that was quickly disappearing.
He relaxed when he spotted the police surrounding him, stopping him and handcuffing him. He could feel a hand on his back and some woman trying to ask if he was okay but he was brushing her off still attempting to lift himself back up to his feet. He eventually managed it but the pain in his side hadn't disappeared; no doubt he had gone and given himself a few cracked ribs.
"Jack are you alright?" DI Ashton called out, catching up to him - out of breath herself.
Jack just nodded slowly, breathing through the pain, "I'll be fine," he muttered, he could really do without everyone fussing over him.
"Do you know, I can't remember the last time I had an afternoon off," Nikki chuckled as she walked into her room, two mugs in her hands and Jack's flannel shirt hung over her slim frame and scraping her knees. She placed the cups down on the side before joining him as he lay in her bed, the covers draped over the lower half of his body.
She moved slowly, the bruises on his sides a bright purple. She had panicked when he'd returned to the Lyell wincing in pain and she had marched him straight to the locker room so she could look over his injuries properly and make sure that he hadn't done too much damage to himself.
As she had watched him undress earlier, she was quickly reminded of the last time they had been in this position. The locker room, the bruised ribs. She had rushed there after hearing about what had happened despite her mind being occupied with someone else. Hearing the words "Jack has been hurt," had thrown everything else to the side.
When he had been run over the last time, she nearly lost him. She had seen him on that hospital bed, all the wires coming out of him. She had held his hand, she had cried for him. She should've realised it then. How much he meant to her, how much she couldn't bear to live without him. But she pushed those feelings down then, he had too much on his plate let alone having her admitting her feelings for him in the midst of everything.
Then he had been stabbed yet somehow it didn't seem to get to her much then, or at least, she tried to not let it get to her. He had survived these things before so what difference did it make? He had been beaten and run over yet he still made it out the other end. Her heart had broken more for Clarissa than it had Jack. It was then she truly realised how much Mexico had changed and damaged their relationship; they had apologised and forgave each other but there was still that wedge between them.
It could've been Matt. It could've been the fact that they were too stubborn to let their guard down to one another again. She didn't know. She supposed it didn't matter now though. Nearly losing him again last year had hit her with all the realisation she needed.
Matt aside, it was Jack that she had wanted. This whole time. She had denied and pretended for too long. But seeing him in that hospital bed again, hearing him struggle to get those words out; as if that was going to be his only chance to say them. It had hit her like a tonne of bricks.
She didn't speak to Matt for weeks, only able to hear Jack's voice in her head. She visited him nearly every day once she was allowed to actually sit in with him. She held his hand and promised him that she would never leave. She had sworn down to him that she would be there for his dad. And she had been.
She'd pick him up to take him to the hospital, she had gone round to make him some food and keep him company whilst he worried about his son. She listened to him and offered comforting words. He'd quipped about how many times her phone would ring in one night but she brushed it off, "It's no one important." That's why Matt, she supposed, had gone looking elsewhere, she could see it now. She had been so wrapped up in Conor and Jack that she hadn't given Matt a second thought.
In hind sight, it was probably for the best because it had brought her here. With a healthy - yet battered and bruised - Jack lying in her bed looking at her in a way that made her feel weak at the knees. That made her stomach flutter in the same way it had the first time she met him at that crime scene.
Her hand cupped his cheek as she captured his lips, she pulled back; her eyes flickering open and being met by his green. "I love you," she barely let out. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, she had known it for a long time - or rather it had known her. But she couldn't face actually saying it, having the words forming in her mouth.
She had said it to Matt countless of times, when she had tried to cling onto him; to stop him from walking away. But it had lost it's meaning very quickly, that's if she had ever meant it in the first place. But as her eyes stuck with Jack's she knew she meant every word.
Jack's lip twitched as he just about caught what she said. It had felt as though all the air had been sucked out of him. Nikki Alexander, the Nikki Alexander just told him that she loves him. He had been dreaming of this moment for years, although he hadn't quite imagined that he would be lying in her bed unable to move for the pain in his sides.
He was quick to catch the tear that had slipped down her cheek, the pad of his thumb rough against her soft skin, "I love you too," he whispered. He had said it before, when he thought he was dying. When he thought that he would never get to look into those big brown eyes of hers ever again. He had wanted to say it, to let her know how he really felt before he went. He wanted her to know how much she truly meant to him. Although he had a feeling that she already knew that; always an intuitive one.
Her mouth was on his again, he could never get used to that feeling; her lips pressed against his. It felt like the most natural thing in the world and he could feel every nerve in his body tingling. His arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer to him but he was quickly groaning as he had that sharp stabbing pain in his side again.
Nikki pulled back, biting down on her lip to stop herself from laughing as she watched him trying to make himself comfortable again, "I'm sorry," she smirked at him.
"You're worth the pain," he winked, causing her to roll her eyes at him as she leaned over to pick up her mug.
She couldn't take her eyes off him as she sipped at her drink. She still worried about him. He seemed to have been doing better since that night and he had always been one to bounce back from things very quickly. But that was the worst she had ever seen him and she couldn't be sure that he had fully gotten over it. She had been meaning to suggest speaking to someone for the past couple of days but she wasn't sure of how he would react.
Her mind casting back to the time she had said something similar to Matt, he'd walked away from her in a huff, almost offended that she could offer something like that. But she had to keep reminding herself that Jack was different, he wasn't Matt. Jack had suffered through most of what she had suffered through. They had experienced and shared things together. He wouldn't be offended - or at least she hoped not.
She reached out, her hand brushing through his hair causing him to glance up at her, "Have you thought about talking to someone?" She asked, her voice calm.
Jack furrowed his brows, wondering where that had come from. But if he was being honest, he had come to stop questioning things so much where Nikki was concerned, she often come up with random things. He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."
"I think it might be good," she breathed. "It helped me a lot, to get things off my chest. That doesn't mean to say you can't talk to me because you can and I am always here to listen. But it might help opening up to someone who can give you better advice than I can."
Jack's eyes searched hers, it hadn't been something he'd considered if he was being totally honest. The idea of talking to a complete stranger about the ins and outs, and ups and downs of his life didn't seem like the most ideal thing to him. But he had seen a change in Nikki ever since she had reached out for help, she seemed calmer; more at peace with the world. And she wouldn't suggest it if she didn't think it would help him. And he for one, trusted her opinion above everyone else's.
"Okay," he nodded. "I think it's about time I sorted out this head of mine anyway," he joked, Nikki just scoffed at him but there was still a smile on her face.
Nikki let out a bated breath, feeling herself relax knowing that Jack wasn't about to kick off. He actually agreed with her. She didn't know what else to say, there was nothing that had to be said so she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. The smile growing as she felt him wrapping his arm around her holding her tightly against him.
She was happy, truly happy. She had never felt peace quite like it. She had spent her whole life looking for her other half, someone who matched her perfectly. Someone who could tolerate yet understand her stubbornness and unwillingness to let things go. Someone who would know what it feels like to have lost everything but still come out the other end. Someone who would be there with her through thick and thin and would never leave her side.
It had been Jack this whole time. Kind, caring and trustworthy Jack. For the first time in a long time she felt at one with the world. She had got everything she had ever wanted; someone to love her just as much as she loved them.
Jack watched her slowly fade away, her eyes closed and her breathing evening out. He never thought he had seen her so calm and without tension in her face. And he felt as though he was falling in love with her all over again and he knew that he could quite quickly get used to this.
He had to tell his dad though. Jack had lost count of the amount of times Conor had gushed over Nikki over the past couple of months, every time he had gone round to see his father it had been "Nikki this" and "Nikki that," and he had always asked after her, wondering what she had been up to. And also wondering when Jack was going to make his move.
He thought back to those weeks he had spent in the hospital, Nikki bringing his dad to see him almost every day. And every time she had left the room to give them some space his dad was always quick to remind him that he should stop wasting his time and get her before it's too late.
He'd be over the moon and no doubt Jack would get a pat on the back from him. He'd always be grateful to her for the way she had been there for his father, no questions asked. She had taken it upon herself to drive him around and make him food; from what his dad had told him anyway. So it was no wonder that he hadn't stopped going on about her so much. But that was Nikki all over, completely selfless. Whether she had loved him or not, he knew that she would do the same thing a million times over.
Jack could feel the sleep creeping up on him as he let his eyes close. The body pressed into his side calming him, making him feel whole. After searching for it for so long, he was finally home.
Next time: Acceptance - Someone from Jack's past suddenly reappears in his life, how will this affect his and Nikki's burgeoning relationship? Or will there be something else that pushes them apart?