Eyes boring a way through me

Paralyse, controlling completely

Now there is a fire in me

A fire that burns

Eyes burning a way through me

Overwhelm, destroying so sweetly

Now there is a fire in me

A fire that burns

Oh, how I burn for you

Burn, oh how I burn for you

How I burn

This Fire- Franz Ferdinand

The two passed a silent evening, neither eating much of the leftover stew Tora reheated as every attempt at conversation fell flat between them, Tora refusing to admit she wasn't alright and Severus growing increasingly distant. They sullenly retired to bed without much of a conversation, the mood of the two devolving until neither could afford even a curt goodnight. With the lights off, Tora stared hopelessly at Severus' silhouette under his blanket, his narrow shoulders impossibly delicate. Realizing how dramatically his tone had shifted since hearing her brother's words, it occurred to her that he wasn't as impervious to insults as he so claimed to be, and how much worse her words must have made it. She longed to cover the gap between them, slide her arms under his and around his waist, hold him against her until they both felt better; but she recycled these stray thoughts with a mental slap on the wrist and a somewhat inauthentic gag.

"You don't look like an inferi," she whispered instead. He barely moved.

"I'm well aware of how stunningly sexy I am," he bitterly responded, his voice dripping in sarcasm. He could take a hit on his self-esteem appearance wise, seeing as he never really had any to begin with, but his self-worth was remarkably fragile. Marlin had been the straw that broke the thestral's back.

"Severus?" she whispered, softly once, and then harsher a second time. He slowly rolled over to face her. His eyes had retained their usual sunken quality, his thin eyebrows permanently flattened over them so that he appeared to be on the verge of homicide; a frightening glare that he'd carried for years, one that, had she not come to know him the way she had, would have kept her up all night. Instead she was gutted to see how dramatically things had changed between them. She reached instinctively out to him, her hand freezing at the midway point between their beds where he looked to it, a faint twitch in his eyelids. She swallowed and pulled it away in shame, beginning to turn away before he shot his hand out abruptly, grasping her wrist with his long, pointed fingers.

She shook a bit with the force of his reach, but stared bravely into his cold, hardened eyes. They held eye contact, both fierce, both threatening. She tugged her hand hard, down just enough to slip it inside of his, stretching her fingers out between his knuckles. Though his lips remained firmly pressed together in a scowl, his eyes softened slightly, darting between their tightly clasped hands and her determinedly gentle face. Her hand felt so small and so fragile in his, as if he could crush it if he moved just the wrong way; and yet she squeezed his hand heartily, her palms fitting perfectly into the grooves of his, an endearing comfort that broke his heart against the jagged depths of his apprehension

"Don't listen to Marlin," she whispered, as if there were others in the room to avoid waking, "He's always wrong about everything." Severus breathed through his nose, his thoughts too dark to be rescued by platitudes. He finally opened his lips, releasing the wrinkles forming around them from the pressure of his scowl.

"I did teach him," he said, his voice harsh and deep. Tora hadn't realized how much his voice had relaxed over the past few days until she heard it like this again, low and gravely, the way it had always been.

"So you know exactly what I mean," she whispered. Severus stared intently at her still, his expression unchanging.

"No. I mean he's absolutely correct for once in his miserable life. I was part of your upbringing. Now you house me as if, as if I'm- you should be nowhere near me. I've killed people, I've ruined lives- You are so pure-" he cut himself off, his chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly as he seethed at the words he wanted to say but knew he shouldn't. Tora squeezed his hand so hard it hurt, forcing him to look back up to her.

"You're not the only one here," she hissed abruptly, her lips beginning to shake as she said it. He cocked his head, his brows darting downward.

"In a battle one does what they must-"

"It had nothing to do with it," she whispered, the words streaming from her mouth like vapor. He blinked, taken aback.

Little Tora Mayfield, killed a man; he thought, utterly flabbergasted. No longer an insolent child. Insolent, maybe, but a child no more. Her face was twitching, her free hand picking at the blankets anxiously.

"I can't unsmoke that blunt and I am not killing my buzz with this," she breathed quickly, "So don't ask me about it. My point being, you're not tainting me with your mere existence or something." He blinked, staring firmly at their hands, acutely aware of how sweaty his palm was.

"Even if I was some sweet angel or something," she whispered, her face still quivering, "Would it really matter?"

"Yes!" He cried suddenly, loudly, making her jump a bit, "It would and it still does! Because you ARE a sweet angel, Tora! Even still!" His chest rose and fell, the words having finally fought their way from their cage. He turned his face into his pillow, hiding it's spasm of emotions as he short circuited through a variety of them.

"And what does that have to do with you at all?" she said after a minute or two of pained silence, "If I can- kill someone-" she said with great struggle, swallowing and taking a few shallow breaths before continuing, "And still be a sweet angel, than why would being near you somehow make me worse?" He ignored her, turning his face to the ceiling.

"Look at me, Sev," she begged, gently tugging his hand, "Please." He slowly turned back to her, his face sharp and hard but his eyes pooled with feeling.

"You've helped me so much," she whispered softly, quietly, so quietly he could hardly hear. Admitting weakness was something Tora struggled significantly to do, and it showed across her petite face.

"I've been... looking up to your example on how to cope this entire time," she admitted, casting her eyes down to her sheets, "Marlin just doesn't understand. That's all." Severus looked away too, realizing how much he had been doing the same.

They laid in silence, turned away from each other respectfully, independent but never letting go of each other's hands.

"So that's what Murder Virginity means, then," he whispered sometime later. Tora made a huffing sound, and he couldn't be sure if it was a laugh or a scoff or a sob.

"I reiterate, you're shit at spying," she sniffled.

Severus sat up slightly, realizing it was in fact a sob he had heard, and how insensitive he was being. He tried to focus his eyes on her silhouette, and saw she was trembling slightly, her shoulders shaking with little silent sobs. His heart raced as he realized how she had laid herself emotionally bare to console him. He felt a desperate need to help the longer he watched her in her suffering, but his mind was completely empty for words. He had never been in a position of emotional support before, at least not over something so serious. He closed his eyes. What did Tora always do to help him? She talked. She always talked.

"Digby?" he said loudly, his attempt at softness spectacularly failing. Tora sprung up abruptly, roughly breaking the link between them. He stood up after her, the pair only centimeters apart.

"Don't ever say that name to me again," she cried, tears tracking down her face. He trained his eyes on the floor, away from her messy glare. How many times could he ruin everything in one day? His heart wrenched; he wanted to reach his arms around her and apologize. Grovel.

"I'm getting a drink," she huffed, her nostrils flaring, looking expectantly at him to move out of her way. He squinted back, turning his head slightly.

"I'll get it for you," he said sharply, a silent command for her to get back into bed. He thought deeply on his way to her sink; how many times could he ruin everything before she gave up on him all together? He decided painfully in that moment to let his apologies die. Slink back into the asshole he'd always been, let their relationship go. God how the concept hurt, more than he wanted to believe, but pushing her away was the best thing for her long term happiness. Anything else was selfish of him. He leaned over her sink and watched her glass overflow, squeezing his eyes shut and his fingernails into his palms as he shoved every brief thought of reverence and relief as deep down as he could. He silently returned and handed her the glass, his lips pressed into a tight scowl once again.

"I was thinking scotch," she snarled, wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

"That's why I got your drink for you," he retorted, sitting across from her, "You have a problem." She squinted defiantly into his eyes. Another staring contest, the tension in the air suffocating.

"And after everything, how do you not?" She said accusingly, downing the whole glass in one long chug, never dropping eye contact as water spilled down her chin. Severus raised his brow, his mouth falling open slightly.

"That's not to say I never did," he snarled, looking down to his feet, the intensity of her gaze unnerving in the shadows.

"You? A drinking problem?" she said, her voice still biting enough to fuel him.

"Oh yes. Potions, exclusively. I believe I was only sober once for your first and second year," he said harshly, leaning forward, "And another bender in your seventh. And then again, and again, and again. I spent the past year abusing every potion I could find it in my means to concoct." He glared right back at her, almost begging her to hate him, the intensity of his glittering eyes and the drilling quality of her owl ones finally reaching an explosive standoff.

"Seems we had a lot in common in my first year," she snarled, matching his aggressive tone and leaning forward herself.

"Tora, you were eleven," he scoffed, but the unwavering ferocity of her eyes felt entirely sincere. He pulled his meanest face, moving closer again, trying to prove how awful he could be. She matched his movements, squaring her shoulders as she threateningly bridged yet more space between them.

"Stop projecting. We don't know shit about each other," she spat, her teeth clenched. Tora stood, her hands in little fists. He stood after her, towering over her with as much malevolence as he could muster.

"And yet we think we know each other so well," he hissed, his heart beginning to pound as the space between them eroded, neither of them one to be intimidated by the other's advancement. He curled over her, barring his teeth in a snarl, and Tora simply grinned with a dark gleam in her squinted eyes, rising ferociously to meet him.

Chest to chest, Tora seized the front of his robes in her fist, aggressively pulling him down nose to nose. His hair tumbled from behind his ears and surrounded her face, only centimeters from hers, feeling each other's panting breaths.

"You can't scare me away, Severus, so stop trying," she hissed against his face. He shivered, feeling her words brushing on his skin. She did know him, a lot better than she should.

"Is that you saying chicken?" he hissed back, his nose pressing into her cheek, his eyes flitting closed at the feeling of her hair brushing against his face in this strange dance.

"Never," she said, her jaw clenched, her lips hovering unfathomably close to his. Her mouth parted just slightly, her ragged breaths on his skin melting the cruel expression from his features as his blood surged in his veins.

"But what will you do when I just become worse," he said suddenly, a hint of desperate feeling cracking through his mask of aggression. His breath hitched as Tora's eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, the defiance disappearing from her face as their abdomens graced together. She released her hold on his robes, slowly spreading her hand across his chest and dragging her fingers over his melting shoulder, pulling his body against hers.

"Fuck around and find out," she whispered, softer now, taking a deep breath that drew his face desperately closer. His heart pounded in his scarred throat, the silly game of chicken completely wiped from his racing mind as he felt the space between their mouths about to disappear.

"I should probably leave you alone," she breathed suddenly, reluctantly pulling her face away. Severus felt his breath go with her, his spine collapsing into jello. She kept her torso tight to his for a moment, her arm limp around his neck. Every groove of their bodies pressed gently together, the hem of her shirt gracing the tips of Severus' fingers, feeling each other's heartbeats. Tora eventually fell away to her bed, and Severus felt a soft longing to have her back. He breathed for a while, calming the explosion in his tired mind.

"That was an odd trust exercise but I believe it was effective," he said shortly, desperate to cut the tense silence, thankful the room was so dark.

Tora took a deep breath, slowly climbing back under her top-sheet. Severus watched her, his head coming back to reality, relieved that she had put a stop to that petty nonsense before it had gone too far. He'd gotten carried away, he thought, climbing into bed as well.

"I'm sorry if that was weird," she said suddenly, softly.

"N-no I started it," he quickly responded, his heart still racing, "And willfully encouraged it."

"So... you trust me to trust you then?" She said slowly, her voice a bit squeaky. Severus swallowed, feeling defeated but in the best possible way, the way he desperately needed to be. He clutched his blanket to his chest, blinking up into the darkness. Tora was not at all the hapless innocent he'd built her up to be.

Marlin didn't know shit.

"Something like that," he replied eventually, the scowl gone from his face.

"I'm the one who's sorry… for everything," he said, the apology pouring easily and fervently from his lips as he realized what he had almost so toxically thrown away, "I never meant to be so insensitive, and then when I did, I thought it was hopeless, and it would be best if I-"

"Shhh. Tell me tomorrow when your brain is working right," she muttered, a brief smile on her red cheeks. He closed his eyes. She had a point. His mind was muddled with all sorts of questionable things.

"Let's just relax tomorrow. I think we deserve it," she whispered. He took a deep breath, trying to feel bad about himself but struggling to. From the corner of his eyes he saw her cheek rested atop her hand, and he turned back to her, a sad look stretching down her face. He instinctively reached his harm out to her again, and she readily took his hand this time, clasping her fingers tightly across his. He no longer felt her hand to be fragile, something to touch as lightly as possible. He closed his eyes and squeezed it, felt her fingers shift beneath his palm, the bones of her hand firm, tangible, corporeal.

"Perhaps we do," he whispered back, swiftly falling asleep to the peculiar feeling of her hand in his.

Severus screamed. He jerked out of bed, air rasping from his lungs as he scratched at his chest. He rocked back and forth, his bulging eyes darting around the room, veins beginning to show across his throat and forehead. His mouth was opened wide, his crooked nose and sharp cheeks beginning to drip sweat as he struggled to breathe.

The sound woke Tora from her own troubled sleep. She struggled in her bedsheets, entangling herself in her attempt to get to him.

"Severus?" She whimpered. He looked to her, his eyes panicked and pleading, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Tora stumbled out of her bed, falling onto his. He slipped back into REM, his head lolling to the side as his body remained upright.

"Severus," she breathed over and over, shaking his shoulders frantically, crying out as his eyes rolled back into his head and he began to shake, "Have you been cursed?!"

THANK YOU FOR READING! I ADORE YOU! UP NEXT Is Severus cursed? How will Tora deal with this? What will they do and talk about while wide awake at 4am once everything is finally settled? (if it gets settled...)