Title: Meeting in a Rose Garden

Summary: Mac reconnects with someone she knew in law school. (West Wing Crossover) (Mac/Other, Mac/Harm friendship)

Part Eight

The phone would not stop ringing, and it was doing absolutely nothing for her throbbing head. She briefly rubbed her temples before reaching for the receiver. "Sarah MacKenzie."

"You sound terrible."

"How sweet of you to notice." Mac was irritable. It wasn't often she felt poorly, and she knew she didn't handle it very well. She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I'm sorry, Sam. I don't feel great, but I shouldn't take it out on you."

"What's wrong? His cheerful tone instantly turned concerned, and she felt like a jerk. Especially since they hadn't seen each other much this week. He was going to California to visit his parents over Christmas, and had been working longer hours than usual to get as much done as he could before he left.

"It's just a little cold." She placed her hand over the mouthpiece so he wouldn't hear her cough.

"Damn. I guess that means you don't want to get sushi tonight. There's a new place near your apartment I've heard good things about."

Her stomach turned at the thought of raw fish, and she briefly placed a hand over her mouth. "Definitely not feeling up to that. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Her constant need to apologize was by far his least favorite thing about this otherwise incredible woman. She always seemed to walk on eggshells if she thought she was about to say or do something that disappointed him. "We can check it out after the holidays. Want me to bring you anything tonight?"

She shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "No, I'll be okay. Thank you though."

He frowned. Okay, maybe this was his least favorite thing about her. Her refusal to let people do anything for her was frustrating. He hadn't noticed this initially, but a few weeks ago this quality had reared its head. It started when he had first asked her what she wanted for Christmas. All she had said was that he didn't need to get her anything. Not that she didn't want anything, or need anything, but that he didn't need to get her anything. And then he thought about how she always tried to pay for herself when they went out, and how she had nearly fallen over in the elevator trying to manage a stack of books by herself when he had offered to help, and how, even when he was already out of bed, she'd get up herself before asking him to get her so much as a glass of water. He knew it was the result of her upbringing, and the sorry excuses of men she had previously been with, but he was frustrated by it. He liked doing things for people he cared about, and he really cared about her. "Okay. Well if you change your mind let me know."

"I will. Thanks, Sam."

"You're welcome."

Mac groaned as she moved from the couch to answer the door. She coughed into the sleeve of her thickest bathrobe and pulled the door open.

And then she wanted to die.

There was Sam, holding a large brown paper bag, in a navy-blue suit he looked amazing in, while she wore a pink bathrobe over her oldest sweats. Her nose was pink, her eyes were rimmed red, and her hair was sticking up in every direction.

"What in God's name are you doing here?" He leaned down to kiss her forehead, and moved past her to enter the apartment. "Seriously, Sam. I'm not up for company right now."

He sat the bag on the counter and set about opening it. "I know. And I'm not going to stay. But I wanted to bring you some food so you don't have to cook." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a box of medicine. "And some meds, just in case you don't have any."

"Sam-"

He pulled a plastic container from a deli out of the paper bag. "It's just soup, Sarah." He stopped fussing with the things he had brought and looked at her. He reached over and brushed her hair off her forehead and smiled. Even looking like this he still found her to be the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "Go lay down. I'll fix you a tray, and then I'll leave if you want me to. I promise."

She bit her lip and studied his kind face. "I was trying to keep you from seeing me like this. But now that you have, I guess you can stay."

Sam frowned. "Why didn't you want me to see you like this?"

Her jaw dropped open, and she gestured to herself. "Look at me! I'm a mess."

He shrugged. "You're sick." He moved closer and tugged at the robe. "We've been together for four months. I want all of you. The good and the bad." She sneezed and he stepped back and grinned. "Even that." She surprised him by laughing, which lead to another coughing fit. She bent at the waist, and he rubbed her back while she coughed. "Have you had a shower yet?"

She glared at him. "I may look like garbage, but I promise I don't smell." He rolled his eyes and she sighed. "No. Not since this morning."

"Okay." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bathroom. "Take the hottest shower you can stand. I promise it will help." She raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. "White House Staffer trick #4356. It's in the section of our handbook on getting over colds really fast so we don't inconvenience the President too much."

"Is there really a handbook?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No. It's not a bad idea though." He gestured at the shower with his chin. "Shower. I'll keep your soup warm."

Mac watched him leave the bathroom and was equal parts annoyed and overwhelmed by her feelings for him. She didn't need anyone taking care of her. She didn't want him to see her like this. After all, she had been doing a fine job taking care of herself all these years. She sighed and turned on the shower before taking off her clothes. She stepped under the almost unpleasantly hot water and hissed. She winced as she waited for her body to acclimate and then finally sighed. The water did feel good. And after a few minutes she was able to breathe a little easier. She stood there a while longer, letting the steam help her breathing, before lathering up and turning the water off. She toweled off and went to the bedroom for clean, and slightly more attractive pajamas - navy flannel with white polka dots. She brushed her hair and her teeth, and went back into the living room.

Sam heard her enter and smiled. "Do you want to eat at the table or on the couch?"

"Table. Thanks." She started to offer to help, but she just didn't have it in her. She pulled out a chair and sat, and watched him while he ladled soup into a bowl. He brought the bowl to her, along with a pack of crackers, the butter dish, and a large glass of water. "What's the butter for?"

He handed her a spoon and a butter knife. "To smear on the crackers. It makes the soup even better when the butter crackers are dipped in."

"How did you get to be so nurturing?" She lifted a spoonful of soup to her mouth and swallowed.

"My mom. This is how she took care of my dad and I when we were sick." Mac nodded and dipped a cracker in the soup. "Did your mom do anything special when you were little?"

She swallowed and shook her head. "No." Even when she was sick, Deanna had always put Joe first. She hadn't even made soup when she was sick, because her father had thought it wasteful for her to make two dinners. "No," she repeated, "but if my grandmother was with us, she did. She'd rub that mentholated stuff on me, and then curl up in my bed to read to me."

"Want me to read to you? I have a briefcase full of reading material that is guaranteed to put a person to sleep." He grinned and smeared butter on a cracker.

After she had finished the soup, the glass of water, and a cup of tea, she was back on the couch. He tidied up the kitchen and was getting ready to leave when she asked him to stay a little longer. She pulled up her legs so he could sit, and once he was settled, he pulled them into his lap.

"Before I knew you were sick, I had wanted to talk to you about something."

She shifted so she was looking at him. "I'm listening."

"How would you feel about going away for a few days over New Years? I'm going to be back on the 29th, but don't have to be back to work until the 2nd." He ran his hands over her legs and studied her. "Once I get back, we have to start working on the State of the Union, and things will be complete chaos until that's behind me."

She swallowed, and then licked her lips. "What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged. "Nothing crazy. I know it's too cold to swim, but maybe Charleston? My parents have a really beautiful place in Kiawah Island. It's tiny, but it's right on the beach. What do you think?"

"It's a really nice thought."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that a yes?"

She squirmed under her blanket. She had the time off. At JAG, everyone either got the week of Christmas off, or the week of New Years off. Everyone without children opted for New Years, since the people with children needed those extra days leading up to the 25th. So, she had the time off. And she didn't have any other plans. The idea of having him completely to herself for a few days was incredibly appealing, but also unsettling. Their relationship was still fairly new, and she had so much anxiety over it. She couldn't remember the last time she had gone away for a weekend with a man. What if they ran out of things to talk about? What if they had a fight?

"It's a yes." Her own words surprised her, and she could tell they had surprised him. "Are you surprised I said yes?" He grinned and she felt her stomach flutter.

"A little. But I'm glad you did." Sam squeezed her leg. She gave him a sleepy smile, and he could tell the medicine was starting to kick in. He gently moved her legs and stood. "I'm going to go home so you can get some sleep. Come lock the door behind me." He held out a hand and helped her up. At the door he placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Sarah. Call me if you need anything."

She nodded, and watched him leave. The mild annoyance she had felt with him earlier had faded, and now she was so glad he had stopped by. The soup was nice, but he was what made her feel a little bit better. She slid the deadbolt and chain back into place, and turned off the lights on the way to her bedroom. She curled up under the heavy duvet and closed her eyes. His smell still lingered on the pillow from when he had spent the night a few days ago, and it was comforting.

Sam had given her space over the next few days. He had called a couple of times to see how she was feeling and to see if she needed anything, but stayed away at her promise that she was fine. And she was. Not wanting to get anyone sick this close to the holidays, she called in sick and stayed home through the worst of it. By day four she felt almost back to normal and was ready to rejoin the land of the living.

Just in time for Christmas with Chloe and her colleagues. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little bit relieved that Sam and Chloe wouldn't meet on this trip. Her little sister had just recently gotten over being upset about the aborted wedding, and she didn't want to make her or Sam feel uncomfortable. But Chloe did know about him, and seemed eager for Mac to tell her everything about him.

"So, what about Harm?"

Mac stopped brushing her Chloe's long hair and frowned. "What about him?"

She turned so they were looking at each other. "You love Harm. I know you do."

Mac sighed and moved to sit next to Chloe on the floor. "I do love Harm. And I always will. But I'm not in love with him."

"If you're not in love with Harm, then why didn't you and Mic get married?"

She sighed and picked through the bowl of popcorn looking for an extra buttery piece. "Sweetie, I didn't love Mic."

"Then why did you plan on marrying him?"

She was quiet for a moment, and ate a few pieces of popcorn. Chloe was getting antsy next to her, and finally she spoke. "Because I was afraid. I was so tired of being alone. I wanted a husband and a family. And Mic blew me away when he asked me to marry him. He caught me completely off guard. Then when he moved here, I felt trapped. He had given up so much for me, I felt obligated."

Chloe's eyes went wide. "You were going to marry him out of obligation?"

"Yeah. I was."

They were both quiet for a long moment. Chloe stared at the bowl of popcorn and finally spoke in a small voice. "I'm sorry I was so mad at you."

"Oh sweetheart. It's okay." She pushed Chloe's hair to the side so she could see her face. "It really is okay." She smiled softly. "Mic and I are both in better places now. Did I tell you he's met someone?" She grinned. "She's the exact opposite of me in every way, and based on the email he sent me he seems crazy about her."

"And you're crazy about Sam?"

"Yeah, I really am."

Someone was knocking on her door. She groaned and pulled a pillow over her face, trying to muffle the sound. It was after 1:00am. Why was someone knocking on her door at this hour? She pulled on her robe and made her way to the door, and was floored when se swung it open and found Harm on the other side.

"Harm? What the hell are you doing here?" He moved past her into the apartment, and she shut the door. He was buzzing with energy and looked happier than she'd seen him in a really long time. "Is everything okay?"

"Where's the petty officer?" He looked around the apartment and shrugged out of his coat.

"She's in the guest room." She pulled her robe tighter and eyed him. "Harm, seriously. What are you doing here?"

He spun around and pulled her to him. Her body went rigid, but he didn't seem to notice. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tightly. "Sergei is here."

She struggled free and pushed him away. "Wait, what? How did this happen?"

Harm shook his head. "Webb, of course. I couldn't believe it. I was at the wall and he just appeared."

She tugged on his arm to get him to stop moving. "Where is he now?" She pulled him to the couch and sat down next to him.

"He's asleep. We talked for a while, but he was struggling to keep going, so I told him to sleep in my bed. He went to bed, and I laid on the couch for a while, but I couldn't fall asleep. I had to tell someone. I had to tell you."

"Harm…"

He shook his head. "Mac, this is… I don't know. This is the best Christmas I've had in a really long time. And it got me thinking about my life and what's missing from it." He cupped her face. "I should have done this tonight under the mistletoe instead of that stupid cheek kiss." He leaned and brushed his lips over hers.

She went rigid for the second time that night while she came to terms with what was happening. After a few seconds she shifted away and placed her hand on his chest.

"Harm, I can't."

He covered her hand with his. "Mac. I know you're with Sam now. But you and I are supposed to be together. We both know that. I think we've always known it deep down."

She shook her head and stood up. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Harm, no. I can't."

He stood and moved to her. "Because of him? Why? Are you in love with him?"

"Yes." The single word took her breath away. It was the first time she had admitted it; to herself or anyone else. "Yes," she said in a softer voice. "I'm in love with him."

Harm took a step back. "Wow." He took another step back and sat back down. "Wow." She sat down next to him and he looked at her. "You're in love with him?" She nodded, and he noticed that she had gone pale. "Have you told him?"

"No." She swallowed and folded her hands in her lap. "I knew my feelings for him were strong, but I didn't realize how strong until right now." He nodded and leaned back. "I'm so sorry, Harm."

He shook his head. "No, don't apologize." He glanced at her and offered her a wry smile. "I'm glad you're happy. You are happy, aren't you?"

She nodded. "I'm happy with Sam." She glanced at him and bit her lower lip. "I miss you though. I miss my best friend."

Harm reaches over and covered her folded hands with his. "I miss you too." He swallowed and pulled his hand back. "I'm going to need time, Mac. I-"

She nodded. "I understand."

He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'm going to head home. Goodnight, Mac."

She stood and walked with him to the door. "Goodnight, Harm. I'm so happy about Sergei." He smiled and nodded, and she watched as he walked out of her apartment.

End Part 8