When Monday morning rolls around, Brittany has no trouble waking up to start her day. In fact, she barely grumbles as she does a stretch before getting ready for her usual morning run. Most of the time, Mondays are the hardest for her since it means getting back into her busy routine for the week but today feels different.
Actually, the whole weekend has felt different.
Brittany feels weirdly well-rested although she didn't really get much sleep last night because she spent most of it texting Santana. They weren't even talking about anything important, but Brittany couldn't get enough of her even after the day they spent together.
Like they agreed upon, Santana tagged along with her and Pete to the park where they both watched Pete swing. Neither of them could help glancing over by the pond though and Brittany definitely couldn't help but to remember all that happened there. She bets Santana was thinking the same judging by the coy smirk Brittany caught her wearing when their eyes finally met. The look made Brittany blush, but they were soon interrupted by Pete begging one of them to push him on the swings.
It was a great afternoon at the park followed by lunch back at the Pierce residence where Brittany made everyone sandwiches. Pete talked animatedly about this show he watched at their grandparents' house in between bites of his ham and cheese. Santana followed along just as enthusiastically which made Brittany's heart just about burst. She found herself wondering if anyone else knew of Santana's softer side or if this was just for them.
Either way, it was nice and easy and even if Brittany was dealing with a hangover from hell it was okay, because once Pete fell into a food coma Santana kissed away all her worries.
And it was different, kissing Santana completely sober. There was nothing in her system that could blur the way she felt in that moment, nothing else to pin those dizzy feelings on.
Everything she felt was purely because of Santana.
It was something Brittany wondered about before Santana came over that day. What would happen once the alcohol wore off? Would Santana regret everything? Would Brittany? Would things become awkward and uncomfortable to the point where they'd have to stop being friends?
Santana put a rest to most of Brittany's burning questions just by showing up after everything that happened that night, then she assured Brittany by pushing her up against the kitchen counter and kissing her hard after Pete fell asleep on the couch.
Of course, that's just how Brittany's interpreting it all so that she can make sense of how quickly their friendship has changed. If Santana regretted anything they did, it definitely didn't show so it must mean that they're okay.
But again, Brittany's just guessing because they haven't actually had a conversation. Right now, it's like she's in limbo and she's not sure how she feels about that yet.
\\
When Brittany arrives at McKinley High an hour or so later, Santana's just pulling into the Senior parking lot. The quarterback lingers by her car as she watches Santana get out of hers. It's crazy how much she's drawn to her but it has always been like that. The only difference now is that she knows what Santana's lips feel like on her skin and how much she loves kissing her.
There's also Santana's habit of looking super hot while doing the most ordinary things – for example, putting on her bookbag. She's just gorgeous, simple as that, and Brittany can't help but to be easily distracted by her.
"Mornin'," Santana says casually as she walks past Brittany before taking sip of her coffee.
Leave it to Santana to make a pit stop at the Lima Bean before class, but she's as pretty as ever in her Cheerios uniform. Even her voice has a little bit of a rasp to it and it just reminds Brittany of how long they stayed up the night before talking to each other.
Brittany kind of wants to kiss her again.
Santana's steps slow when Brittany only stares blankly, "Earth to Pierce?"
"Sorry! Good morning," Brittany finally answers as she blinks back into reality.
"You still waking up or something?" Santana jokes as she takes another sip.
"I guess," Brittany answers shyly, "I was up late."
Santana just smirks before continuing to walk towards the building. Brittany quickly closes her car door and rushes to catch up to her.
When Brittany joins her again, Santana gives the blonde a once over and quirks a brow, "You not bringing your bookbag today?"
"Huh?" Brittany looks around and blushes again before going back to her car for her bag. She started off the morning doing so well, but maybe she's going to pay for the lack of sleep after all?
\\
By lunch, Brittany's a lot more coherent. She sits at her usual table with Kurt, Mercedes and Tina and she can hear them going on about some Glee Club drama which would usually interest her since she's not involved in any way but she finds herself getting lost in her thoughts.
There's a ton going through her head: an upcoming history test, Santana, finishing her English paper, Santana, getting ready for the last two games of the regular season, Santana.
With it being so late in the football season, she really should be focused on the playoffs but this past weekend has really thrown her for a loop. She has dated before – twice and none of them lasted more than a few months – but none of her past partners ever consumed her attention like this.
"How was your weekend, Britt?" Kurt asks with a nudge to Brittany's shoulder, "Did you end up going to Puck's party?"
"Yeah, you've got to tell us how that happened," Tina says with a gesture to Brittany's nose.
"I can cover that up by the way," Kurt adds.
Brittany smiles, "It's cool, I accidentally got…headbutted. It's not the worst that's happened."
"It looks like it hurts like hell," Mercedes says with a chuckle.
Brittany only shrugs, "I don't even notice it. But yeah, I did go to the party. It was a lot of fun. Missed seeing you there though, Kurt."
Kurt shakes his head, "Yeah, I think I would've rather gone to Puck's than Rachel Berry's Halloween House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza."
"That's a mouthful," Brittany comments as she picks at her lunch, "Not a good time?"
"Endless drama," Mercedes answers, "Even I was a little annoyed by it."
"That sucks," Brittany frowns just as Santana and Quinn enter the cafeteria.
It's like her whole world stops.
Brittany glances their way as they walk by just in time to see Santana eye her up and down. The blonde just barely catches the wink she sends before she and Quinn continue on towards their table.
Surprisingly, the rest of the table was totally oblivious to their exchange. Seems like Quinn was too. Brittany has to bite her cheek to keep from smiling too widely, she doesn't need Kurt and Mercedes prying again.
Instead, she goes back to listening to the breakdown of whatever drama took place at Rachel's. She nods and responds whenever necessary, but she isn't too invested in the story. She's too busy glancing Santana's way every so often just to check if she was looking too.
Santana always was.
\\
By the final class of the day, Brittany swears she can feel the tension between them. She can't quite put her finger on the kind of tension it is, but it makes her feel hyper aware whenever Santana is around. Anytime the Co-Captain glances her way or their hands accidentally touch, it's like a thousand alarms go off in Brittany's head.
What they're alerting her of, she has no idea.
They look at each other like they have this shared secret and they're both just dying to blurt it out. Brittany guesses that's sort of true. She of course hasn't told anyone about what happened when she and Santana left Puck's party, but that's because she isn't really close to anyone. Kurt and Mercedes' reaction to her friendship with Santana really put her off of telling them anything so she keeps most things to herself now.
But Santana?
Brittany wonders if she told Quinn anything or if she's keeping this under wraps too. With the way news travels at this school, she doubts Santana would be the first to say anything to anyone. She can understand Santana wanting privacy after everything she has been through though.
So Brittany continues to listen to Ms. Holliday's lesson and tries her hardest to focus on notetaking and not Santana, no matter how close her pinky is to Brittany's. If she wanted to, she could link them together and it would kind of be like holding hands.
"You going to practice early today?" Santana asks in a hushed voice. She doesn't even look up as she continues to write.
Brittany wasn't planning on it but the question makes her curious so she lies, "Yeah, why?"
Santana just lifts her shoulder casually, "Just wondering."
Brittany can see a hint of smirk and that makes her even more curious.
\\
It's just after the final bell of the day and Santana and Brittany have gone their separate ways.
Brittany's heading to her locker while Santana goes off in the opposite direction. It confuses her because they usually walk together to their lockers and Santana didn't say she had to be somewhere else after class, but Brittany doesn't think too much about. She just heads down the hall to her locker to put the last of her books away before making her way towards the gym
Santana's secrecy all makes sense when Brittany finds her waiting in the empty locker room. She barely gets a word out before Santana's pushing her gently against the wall of lockers and kissing her silly.
It takes Brittany completely by surprise but it also feels like a sigh of relief. She didn't realize she had been waiting for this to happen all day and now that it has, it's like she's back on Cloud 9.
"God, I've been waiting so long to do that again," Santana mumbles against Brittany's lips just as she starts to pull back.
Brittany's still a little dazed and it doesn't help when Santana licks her lips, but she drops her bookbag on the bench behind Santana and pulls her back in. She hears the surprised whimper Santana lets out and it only makes her smirk as she deepens the kiss.
How she managed to go this long without knowing what it's like to kiss Santana is beyond her. It's probably one of the best feelings in the world and Brittany's so happy that she's able to do this now.
"What's the time?" Santana breathes out as her hands tug at the sides of Brittany's sweater.
Brittany shrugs, "Don't know. Don't care."
Santana chuckles as Brittany grabs her ass, "The squad will be in here soon."
"Not if we lock the door."
"Quinn has a key," Santana says and Brittany can just barely hear the urgency start to come through in her tone, even if her hands are diving beneath Brittany's top.
"Then we should probably stop," Brittany mumbles but doesn't make a move to do so. Santana's hands feel too good on her skin and really…she does need help getting undressed. After all, she's here to get ready for football practice.
"We probably should."
They're quick to realize that neither of them are moving away.
If anything, they're pulling each other closer. Santana's nearly got Brittany's top off and Brittany's fingers are hooked into the waistband of Santana's Cheerio skirt. Where this is all going is a mystery to Brittany, but it's a dangerous game they're playing. Someone could walk in at any moment and catch them in this compromising position.
When she feels Santana's fingers play at the clasp of Brittany's bra, Brittany feels her senses heighten. It makes her think, what are they doing? It's like their lust for each other has gone on a joyride and they're just acting completely on that rather than using their heads.
What's worse though is that Brittany isn't all that against it. They're living in the moment and who is she to stop that, right?
Suddenly the locker room door starts to creak open and voices can be heard on the other side.
Brittany doesn't miss the way Santana stiffens before she's putting as much distance as she can between them. There's a blush covering her face and she looks a little wide-eyed as she glances from the group of girls entering the room before looking back at Brittany.
The group doesn't notice them as they head to the Cheerios' side of the room and Brittany watches as Santana slumps against the opposite wall of lockers in relief. In this area, they're hidden from their sight so Brittany climbs over the bench separating them.
"That was a close one," She says jokingly.
The worry in Santana's brow fades, "Just as it was getting good too."
Brittany laughs at that, glad to see Santana's sense of humor is still intact. She was a little worried for a moment there.
"Go get ready," Brittany tells her. If Santana lingers this close any longer, she might just make her miss practice.
Santana nods though and Brittany takes a seat on the bench to get to work untying her shoelaces. Just before Santana goes though, she bends down to press a quick kiss to Brittany's cheek. Again, it's unexpected and sweet.
"Have a good practice," She says.
Brittany can only smile as she watches Santana turn, her hips swaying hypnotically.
Yeah, Brittany can totally get used to this.
\\
Brittany and Santana keep up their secret meetings for two whole weeks.
It doesn't only take place in the locker room before practice and after games won though. Sometimes it happens in the backseat of Santana's car in the parking lot at Elliott's, sometimes it's in the backseat of Brittany's. Sometimes it happens on the park bench by the pond around dusk when all the kids have gone home for the night. Sometimes it happens on Brittany's couch when her mom is at work and Pete's with her grandparents.
They have been making out behind – and up against – all of these closed doors and sometimes it gets heated. There have been more times than not lately that Brittany's found Santana tugging on her waistband and even Brittany's guilty of trying to take of Santana's bra.
It's an exhilarating feeling – to have these moments with Santana with this underlying fear of getting caught. It's almost like a game to see how far they can get before they have to stop, but as much as Brittany loves a challenge she's also starting to want more.
Not more as in wanting to take things to the next level – although she really wouldn't mind that either – but more as in wanting to do things without having to hide. It doesn't always have to be a steamy make out session, sometimes Brittany just wants to do simple things too.
Just the other day at school, Brittany tried holding Santana's hand in the hall but Santana was so smooth in evading her. Brittany figured it might've been a coincidence; maybe Santana needed both hands to carry her books but a little piece of her didn't think that was so true.
It wasn't until a few days later that Brittany tried it again and noticed Santana do the same exact thing. It wasn't a coincidence, Santana was purposely avoiding holding Brittany's hand.
But Brittany wanted to be sure. After all, it was a pretty big accusation because why wouldn't Santana want to hold her hand in public? It's not the riskiest thing they've ever done.
\\
Brittany starts to get creative in trying to lure Santana away from being so secretive, but it doesn't work too well in her favor. In fact, it does nothing but confuse Brittany even more.
Santana doesn't want to hold her hand, fine. But apparently, linking pinkies is okay?
They can make out all over the locker room and sometimes behind the bleachers, but Brittany can't kiss her in the hallway?
At first, it was an innocent mystery that Brittany wanted to solve but the longer it went on the less fun she started to have. Santana was afraid and Brittany could understand why she would be after every thing that has happened to her, but it was becoming the giant gay elephant in the room. Brittany found herself coming up with more and more questions, but only one stood out the most.
What were they doing?
Later that week, Brittany tried her luck in getting an answer.
\\
It was Thursday so that meant the last football practice of the week. It also meant Brittany coming into the locker room earlier so that she could put in extra work on the field, but lately Santana occupied most of that time.
Brittany had on her padded girdle and dry-fit tights already by the time Santana wandered into the locker room.
"Look at you already dressed," Santana husks as she moves closer to Brittany's side of the locker room.
"Almost," Brittany nods before turning to get her shoulder pads on.
She figures the more gear she has on, the less of a chance she'll be distracted by Santana's sweet lady kisses. Her shoulder pads are kind of her last line of defense so she's quick to get them on – so quick in fact that she forgets to put her practice jersey on them first.
Santana takes a seat on the bench and watches Brittany work. There's that familiar glimmer in her eye as she watches Brittany's fingers move to get the clasps in place. The look makes Brittany feel hot all over. She keeps her eyes focused on the task at hand though, certain that if she were to glance Santana's way they might get wrapped up in each other yet again.
Brittany gives the pads a hard tug once everything's secure and it isn't until then that she realizes she forgot about the jersey. She can get it on herself, but it's probably the hardest thing in the world to do once your pads are already on because it kind of becomes a two-person job.
She's going to need help and lucky for her, Santana is probably all too willing.
Brittany bites her lip as she holds the jersey in her hand, contemplating whether or not she should struggle in silence or just risk the wonderful consequences of asking for help. She's in the middle of weighing out the pros and cons when she sees Santana stand from the corner of her eye.
"You need a hand with that?"
The pads hide how Brittany's shoulders ease at the question. She's nodding before fully thinking it through.
"I just need help getting it over the shoulders," Brittany says as she pulls the jersey over her head, "I can do the rest."
"Okay," Santana gestures to the bench, "Sit."
Brittany does as she's told and tries to keep her breathing even as Santana stands in the space between her legs. She's not sure what it was about the way Santana commanded her, but memories of the night at Puck's come rushing back. They clog up her brain while Santana wears a coy smile, doing her best to work the jersey over the pads one by one.
It's a little overwhelming for Brittany to have her standing so close, that she almost forgets what she was meant to be asking her today. There are things, important things that need clearing up and it doesn't seem like Santana is in a rush to address them which means Brittany has to.
But it's kind of hard to think straight with Santana's boobs practically in her face.
"You know, these uniforms never really did it for me. Just reminds me of dumb, sweaty boys," Santana mumbles as she gets the jersey over the final pad, "But on you? God, you look really hot."
Brittany bites her lip and she can already feel herself wavering under Santana's heated gaze as she eyes her up and down. Maybe she should quickly put on her helmet? That would definitely keep her from getting swept up in Santana. You can't make out with anyone through a face mask.
Brittany's too slow to move before Santana's bending down to plant a wet kiss on Brittany's lips. It's always the same feeling – a sigh of relief – and Brittany just breathes her in. She revels in how the kiss makes her feel like she's soaring through clouds of cotton candy. She can't imagine doing this with anyone else anymore and that thought surprises her.
If she doesn't want this with anyone else, Santana has to know that because maybe she feels the same way too? Maybe the way Brittany feels about her is enough to show Santana that they can be more than just this…if she wants.
That's the big question though, isn't it? Maybe that's why Brittany's been dragging her feet a little? What if Santana's perfectly fine with how things are right now? What if she doesn't want to be anymore than this?
Brittany just has to know. For just a little longer, Brittany continues the kiss before she starts to pull away.
"We should probably talk…"
Santana's kissing along her jaw now instead, "About?"
Brittany swallows roughly, momentarily distracted by the feel of Santana's lips, "That feels so good."
"Mhmm."
Brittany tries valiantly to focus although her hands slide up Santana's thighs and settle on her hips. Santana shed her track pants at some point so all Brittany feels is her soft skin and that feels so good too.
"We should talk about this," Brittany says.
"About me kissing you?" Santana smirks against Brittany's pulse point before pressing a kiss there. Brittany has to bite back a moan as Santana's lips brushing against a sensitive spot.
The blonde shakes her head though, "What are we doing?"
"I'm getting my mack on."
Brittany wants to laugh at that because who says getting my mack on anymore, but Santana's kissing just near Brittany's ear and concentrating starts to become a losing battle. Santana's whispering sweet nothings about how sexy she looks in tights and how badly she wants to make her feel good and Brittany feels like she's wrapped around her finger now.
"Santana," Brittany tries to pull herself from the daze but the way the name falls from her lips sounds more like a whimper and it eggs the Co-Captain on even more.
"I love when you say my name like that," Santana husks before nipping at Brittany's earlobe.
Brittany's heart is racing a mile a minute. She grips at Santana's Cheerios jacket like it's going to keep her from ripping it off of the brunette. She's slipping, but she has to try once more.
"Santana…"
"Mhmm?"
"Seriously," Brittany says. She tries to sound a little firmer but her voice wavers, "We should talk."
"Why do we need to do that?" Santana rasps as she lifts one leg to straddle Brittany's thigh, "Kissing you is so much better."
Brittany gulps at the way Santana presses into her. She kind of has a point.
It's the biggest mistake when Brittany's hands fall to rest on Santana's thighs, "I know but…talking."
Santana leans in again to continue kissing along Brittany's jaw, "What about it?"
"It's good," Brittany feels herself shiver and she doesn't quite know if she's talking about talking or Santana.
"This is good too, right?" Santana says in that sultry, sexy tone of hers.
It's all it takes before Brittany's abandoning her efforts and pulling Santana to straddle her completely. She'll just have another go at this some other day, because clearly neither of them are in the right state of mind for a serious conversation.
Maybe next time she'll put her helmet and mouthguard on first?
\\
"Tomorrow's a big day Titans," Coach Beiste says as everyone takes a knee in front of her, "It's the first game of the Playoffs."
The team cheers loudly at that, rowdier than ever although everyone is exhausted from such an intense practice. It's a different kind of energy than usual and the players soak it up.
Brittany watches her teammates with this proud grin on her face. The past two weeks have breezed by but she's happy with how they've ended the regular season. It's been one of the toughest ones she has ever played with so many obstacles to overcome but the fact that the Titans are ending the regular season 11-1 is something no one saw coming.
Brittany feels such a sense of pride knowing she had a hand in getting them there, even if it took a little longer than she'd like to get everyone on board with her. She hasn't had an incident with Karofsky and Azimio in awhile, but that doesn't mean she's out of the woods just yet.
Coach Beiste smiles before getting the team to settle down.
"I know. It's exciting stuff and everyone has worked their asses off this season. I'm proud of how far we've come as a team," Coach continues as she looks around at the squad, "But we aren't done yet. There are two Playoff games this year and if we can manage it, we'll be meeting Carmel High in the Championships."
"That hasn't happened in years!" Finn gasps.
"Man, I can't wait to kick their asses," Puck follows, "They've had it coming for so long."
Brittany smirks at the two, "We're totally going to win this thing."
"I want everyone to stay focused. Put in the work and we'll get there," Coach tells everyone, "We need to be a well-oiled machine from now on. It's football and school, nothing else. No partying, no girls, no boys, no outside interferences."
Brittany knows Coach is talking to everyone in general, but her words resonate with her the most considering how her personal life has been lately.
"She's talking to you, Stud," Puck jokes with a nudge to Brittany's arm.
He wags his eyebrows at her but Brittany isn't sure what he's hinting at. What could he possibly know? He's either just being funny or he really does know something, Brittany isn't sure. She just shakes her head at him before turning back to the Coach.
"We're getting to the Championships and we're going to win this school that trophy," Coach goes on, "Understood?"
There's a sea of Yes Coach! but Brittany stares blankly at the turf. She needs to figure out this thing with Santana before it's too late.
\\
By Monday, Brittany's nearly hit her breaking point.
With Thanksgiving in just a few days, it's a shorter school week. Wednesday is a half-day for the students, but for the Titans, it's Game Day and the buzz around it is unimaginable. A win could put them in position to go up against their long time rival, Carmel High, and the Titans are as motivated as ever to make that happen.
It's a ton of pressure on Brittany which she usually works well with if it were the only thing on her mind. But it's not, it hasn't been for weeks now and she knows that isn't fair to her team. She needs to give them everything she's got, but she can't do that when Santana's the one that is unknowingly wielding most of her.
With winning their first Playoff game last Friday – successfully ending the McKinley High Playoff drought – the next game is even more important. This game might determine the futures for a lot of Seniors on the team, maybe even her own and she needs to focus on that like Coach Beiste said.
If only it were that easy.
She was never good at keeping secrets and what she and Santana have been doing since Puck's party felt like the biggest secret she ever had. At first it was fine, maybe even kind of fun, but now? She feels so conflicted; loving her time spent with Santana in private but wanting more for them.
She likes Santana, that's obvious to her now but it's not very useful when it comes to breaching the topic about what they're doing. Especially when it seems that every time Brittany has tried to bring it up, Santana either deflects or distracts her with sweet lady kisses.
\\
Brittany decides she's going to bring it up today. No more dragging this out any longer, for both of their sakes she just has to get this off of her chest already.
And she's not going to let Santana wiggle her way out of it this time, Brittany's finally going to get some answers. All she needs to do is get through the remainder of her school day before she can try to figure out what's going on between them.
\\
Brittany's on her way to Ms. Holliday's class when she spots Santana and Puck talking heatedly across the hall. She's not sure what they're saying, but Santana looks annoyed and Puck looks how he always does – cocky and a little mischievous. It makes Brittany feel uneasy but as she approaches, they go their separate without even noticing her.
Once she gets to class, she finds Santana getting out her materials. They share a simple greeting like always before sitting down to get started on the class warm up. Brittany can't help but glance to her side when Santana doesn't automatically offer to do the work together.
There's this crease between her brows like she's in deep thought. Brittany knows it can't be the warm-up because Santana never fails to breeze right through it. This is bigger and it worries Brittany the longer she watches.
"Is everything okay?" Brittany asks timidly.
Santana doesn't bothering looking her way as she answers.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"
Brittany looks from Santana's profile to her left hand and frowns.
"You're doing the work with an eyeliner pencil."
Santana snaps out of it and glances down at her work, "Shit. I just bought this too."
Brittany continues to watch Santana rummage through her pencil case for an actual writing utensil. She seems off and Brittany wonders why she won't just tell her what's going on.
"You sure you're alright?" Brittany tries once more, "You looked kind of…upset when I saw you talking with Puck."
Santana shakes her head and continues to avoid Brittany's gaze, "It's fine. He was just being an annoying asshole. Nothing new there."
"Oh," Brittany gnaws on her bottom lip and looks to her work, "What were you guys talking about?"
"Just something JBI said on his stupid show," Santana shrugs, "It was nothing. Like I said, Puck was just being a pain."
Brittany stiffens, "What did JBI say?"
Her imagination goes into overdrive and she starts come up with her own answers. Have they been caught somewhere? They've been super careful but things still happen. Now Puck's comment at practice starts to make a little sense, but she hasn't heard anything, so maybe it's only about Santana? She has no idea.
"It doesn't matter," Santana sighs, "It wasn't true anyway. Puck just wanted to confirm or deny."
The way Santana's being so dismissive about this doesn't sit well with Brittany. She knows that Santana harbors things, she's still yet to tell her how the fight started those weeks ago too. And Brittany can't force her into talking, she can only make her comfortable enough to say it on her own.
"You'd let me know if he was bothering you, right? Especially Puck," Brittany asks, "If someone on my team isn't being cool, I can deal with them. It's part of my Team Captain duties."
Finally, Santana looks her way.
There's this smitten little smile on her face as she softens. Brittany's never seen her look at her quite like that before, that might be her favorite kind of Santana-smile yet.
"You're sweet."
Brittany continues to look warily at her though and it has Santana sighing before she reaches over to cover the top of Brittany's hand with hers.
"It's okay," Santana tells her earnestly, "I promise you."
Brittany glances down at their hands then back up at warm brown eyes. The touch is soft and sure; Brittany hopes Santana keeps her hand there forever. She can do nothing but relent.
"Okay."
"Okay," Santana smiles once more before nodding to the warm-up, "Do you want to work on this together?"
Brittany beams at her, "Yeah!"
They fall into their usual routine of working together; Santana lets Brittany take the lead and only coaxes her in the right direction if she's heading the wrong way just like she does during their tutoring sessions. Santana never makes Brittany feel less than for her mistakes and that's one of the best things about how well they work together.
"So, are…you going to practice early again today?" Santana asks awhile later.
Brittany knows what that's code for and smirks, "Yeah."
"Do you…need help warming up?"
She knows what she should say to Santana but something has her hesitating on an answer. Maybe if she plays her cards right, she can do both? Talk and – as Santana would say – get her mack on?
"Always," Brittany finally says.
\\
When the final bell of the day rings out, it feels like she's off to the races. With Titans' practice starting at 4 and Cheerios' practice starting at 3:30, there's only about 20 minutes of alone time with Santana.
It's not really a conversation she wanted to rush through, but she rather at least get it started before practice than to continue dragging it out. So Brittany gets to the locker room early and heads over to get changed like always.
And like always, Santana wanders in a few minutes later.
"Need help with your jersey?" She flirts but Brittany remembers this time to put them on her pads first.
"It's okay," Brittany says instead as she works to get the jersey on her pads, "I was wondering if we could maybe talk instead?"
Santana's smile falters as she rests against the far side of the lockers, "Again with the talking…"
Brittany's taken aback by Santana's annoyed tone, "Sorry if I want to know what we are."
"We're friends. Friends who talk with their tongues super close."
Brittany rolls her eyes, "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make this into a friends with benefits situation," Brittany replies, "What you said at Puck's would suggest differently."
Santana crosses her arms, "What did I say?"
"That there's more to this," Brittany answers, "There's more to us that just friends who talk with their tongues super close or whatever you're wanting to call it."
Santana shrinks in on herself. She looks like she'll run if Brittany pushes any further, but they have to do this now. No more avoiding the obvious.
Brittany softens at her silence, "I know you had a hard time last year and this is new to you but we can't keep skirting around this. Ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away. You and I, we deserve more than sneaking around. We could be a – "
"Look," Santana replies, "I'm not here for anything serious."
Brittany feels like she's just been punched in the gut, "What?"
"I thought you knew that?"
Brittany feels blindsided, "How could I possibly know that, Santana? You haven't said anything. You refuse to talk about this, about your feelings."
Santana just shrugs and looks away, "Maybe because I don't have them?"
Brittany's never been more confused in her life.
Santana is blatantly lying to her face but Brittany can't understand why. What's the point of pretending she feels nothing? If anything, it makes Brittany's heart clench in the most uncomfortable way. She's patient and she's kind, but she can't put her heart on the line for someone who won't do the same.
What's crazy is that she knows Santana would do the same. She's seen her do it before, so what's with the sudden change of heart? Brittany's been nothing but understanding thus far, but this? She can't comprehend Santana's motive or reasoning other than her being an idiot – and she doesn't throw that word around too often.
"I don't do the whole feelings thing," Santana adds.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore then if that's the case," Brittany says and it surprises them both. She watches Santana's eyes widen and the quick flash of what looks like regret or guilt. Brittany's reading her like a book, but just when she thinks she has Santana figured out she goes and says the complete opposite.
"Why do we have to label this?" Santana replies. There's just a hint of desperation in her voice, "Why do we have to be anything other than us? I thought we were having fun? Why ruin that by complicating it with feelings?"
"Because with feelings it's better," Brittany says simply, "I can't do this any other way, Santana. That's just not me and I didn't think that was you either."
Santana looks like her world just came crashing down and Brittany feels the exact same. She remembers one of her dad's old sayings after laughter comes tears and she never really understood that until right now. All their good times over the past couple of weeks was just building them up for this reality check.
Santana isn't ready and Brittany's not sure when she will be.
A piece of the quarterback wishes she would've held out a little longer – had more time to enjoy things while they were still simple – before it came to this. She knows deep down it was the right decision though. There's no point in continuing if there's nothing more for her here.
Santana continues to stand there silently with this anguished look on her face.
It takes everything in Brittany to resist the urge to reach out and comfort her, but what good would that do? Apparently Santana doesn't have any feelings so really it would be a waste of her time.
"I need to finish getting ready for practice," Brittany says. She clears her throat when her voice cracks, "I need to focus on football. I have a team counting on me and I can't be distracted by all of this if there's nothing for me here."
Santana looks up at her through her lashes and Brittany's surprised to see her eyes tinging red. It has her reaching out before she can stop herself.
"I'm sorry," Brittany tries but Santana dodges her hand.
It stings but she gets it.
Santana only lifts her chin before walking to her side of the locker room to get ready for practice too. Brittany only swallows back the lump in her throat and continues to get dressed.
It's hard for her to see the good in all of this, but she knows it's there – somewhere.
\\
The following day, practices ends a little earlier than usual but Brittany invites Mike and Sam to the park near her house to practice running plays. Every extra bit of practice helps but more importantly, it acts as a little bit of a distraction from Santana.
Her final class of the day dragged on and the tension she felt between them was unbearable. Santana didn't even look at her once, but Brittany couldn't find the nerve to glance her way either. She knows Santana's hurting, she is too, but she can't go back on her word.
Pete tags along with Brittan to the park too, always excited to watch the Titans play.
Once they get to the park, Sam tosses the ball in Pete's direction. He makes the catch and spikes the ball on the ground before doing his own version of a celebration dance.
Brittany giggles along with Mike while Sam cheers him on.
"Nice catch, Pete!"
"Skill must run in the family," Mike jokes.
"It's a Pierce thing," Brittany chuckles, "Isn't that right, Petey?"
Pete rushes up to give her a high five before throwing the ball back to Sam. He calls out to him to throw it again and Sam obliges. Brittany and Mike watch the two from side and cheer for Pete when he makes the catch again.
"He's really good," Mike notes.
"Like I said, it's a Pierce thing."
"I see," Mike chuckles before suddenly looking a little nervous, "So uh…how's things going with Santana?"
The question surprises Brittany as she raises a brow at him, "Random."
"What?" Mike tries to look casual, "I'm just asking. You know, a little receiver/QB chit-chat?"
That makes Brittany laugh, "Right. This has nothing to do with Quinn putting you up to ask?"
"What?" Mike sputters, "No way…"
Brittany shakes her head, "Why doesn't she go talk to Santana herself? Aren't they best friends?"
"She isn't getting much out of her," Mike shrugs.
Brittany finds that really interesting.
She would've figured Quinn of all people would know what's going on. It must be frustrating for her if she's making Mike do her dirty work, but it isn't Brittany's place. Whatever Santana has or hasn't said to Quinn isn't any of her business and she isn't going to add to the rumor mill.
Even if they've hurt each other, Brittany still cares about Santana and she would never do anything to jeopardize her trust.
"Well, her guess is as good as mine," Brittany answers before jogging over to Sam and Pete.
A/N - So we're potentially nearing the end to this one. I've been considering writing the entire school year, but I may finally be getting back to work soon so I won't have much free time to continue this. Who knows though, a miracle might happen! Don't worry, I'll get this to a good stopping point so no one's left hanging. Thanks for sticking around!