AN: And so begins my greatest challenge yet. Azula's fallen from the pedestal and I hope my interpretation of this Azula, one who did have a mother and didn't want the father in the end, is believable. I did have someone say the Agni Kai was cliche and the story felt forced. All I can do is apologise, it's my first attempt and I'm definitely trying to make it feel organic! If anyone wants to message me I'd happily discuss areas for improvement and ideas. As to the question of the Gaang I do intend to introduce them, though it might be a while. Following canon Aang should be just around the point of waking from his lightning-induced coma. It won't just be Ozai/Azula/Zuko for much longer regardless.
(IX)
Zuko paced across the floor leaving another trail of scorch marks in his wake. For a room so large, every inch of red was suffocating. He tried to breathe but only light wheezes emerged. He should've felt happy, Azula was a traitor just like uncle, she'd tried to kill father. She challenged him, she lost.
You mutilated her and you enjoyed it.
No!
He had no choice. Father would've done worse, so much worse... It was mercy. But even the brightest of hearts carry shades of dark, uncle had said that. Zuko enjoyed it. he even had to remind himself at the time to temper the flame; that he was to save her from disfigurement not cause it.
"Oh Agni..." His breaths fell and Zuko retreated to the safety of his chambers, backing up into the shielding corner. "I'm a terrible person..."
He startled as his door crept open. "M-Mai!" He choked, almost a sob.
The dark haired noble swept forward on light feet. She regarded him with sympathy and disappointment in equal measure. "When I heard about what happened I knew it couldn't be true..." She began voice soft and accusing. "But seeing you here like this; it is true, isn't it?"
"I had to!" Zuko pleaded, desperate and frayed, "Father would've done so much worse..."
"Zuko..." Mai moved forward, couching, she took his hand and bid he rise to meet her eyes, "Azula is a bully. Cruel, callous, manipulative. I've wished to see her gone from my life for more years than I can count."
Zuko struggled to keep his gaze on hers. "But..." He supplied, Mai remained unflinching.
"But," She sighed, "Everyone knows you attacked her last night."
Zuko pulled his hand away, "So it's my fault she's a traitor and tried to kill my father?!" He accused, horrified, voice rising like a pillar of smoke.
Mai fixed him with such cold eyes the fire melted quicker than it flared. "Don't try to twist my words, Zuko. That's not what I said."
Zuko drew himself further in, arms coddling his knees. "You're right..." He nodded meekly, "I'm sorry."
Mai seemed satisfied and let out a low breath. "What happened isn't your fault. She's a traitor and a schemer. But," Zuko winced at the significance of her last word again, "You burned her face less than a day after you attacked her and she beat you."
Zuko swallowed hard, fear and guilt clawed into his fast-beating heart. When laid out on the table with the pieces revealed... It looked like vengeance.
It felt like vengeance.
"It wasn't like that! You have to believe me, Mai, please!" Zuko's hollow cries cast a very small echo across the much-too-large chambers.
"You were always a bad liar, Zuko... And if you're lying, not even Azula can act this well..." Zuko choked back a sob, bidding her to continue. "I believe you. But you have to know how this looks..."
"I do," He cut-in swiftly, "I do, and I don't know how to fix it. I'm not like my sister, I don't want people to be afraid - "
"Tell me it's all lies."
Mai and Zuko turned in unison, a pink-silk clad girl with a soft brown braid stared with an aura of calm that forebode a brewing storm. Zuko shifted and swallowed again. Mai shot him a sympathetic glance and rose to greet her friend.
"Ty Lee, now's not the time..."
"Not the time for what?" The acrobat asked, her voice impossibly powerful for one so quiet. "He didn't do it. Say it, Zuko. It's lies. Isn't it?"
Zuko stared at his hand. Despondent.
"SHE WAS YOUR SISTER!" Ty Lee's frame bristled as the walls crumbled.
"Ty Lee!" Mai moved forward to seize Ty Lee's arm as the other girl stormed forth but the acrobat shoved her back, Mai went wide-eyed. Ty Lee had never pushed or shoved anyone before.
"You tried to kill her and then you-you maimed her! She didn't do that to you!" Ty Lee jabbed an accusing finger at Zuko's scar, her voice quivering with choked back sobs.
"That's enough, Ty Lee!" Mai reprimanded, her hand grabbing Ty Lee's wrist tightly. The girl turned with such flaring anger Mai's steely visage crumbled momentarily.
Zuko tried to raise his head, tried to look at Ty Lee, to face her head on. He owed her that much. But he couldn't. Zuko only saw through her. He only saw Azula a hundred miles away. Exiled. He hated how he felt so much joy and so much grief mingling together. It didn't make sense.
Ty Lee pried Mai's hands away, "You don't even care..." It was a breathless accusation.
Mai stepped forward and hardened her gaze, "Ty Lee, Azula was horrible to us both. She used us."
Ty Lee shook her head, the affection of friendship was bleeding from her face and Mai was beginning to fear she'd lose her if she didn't make concessions. But Mai wouldn't make concessions on Azula. Not ever.
"She was our friend!" Ty Lee yelled, eyes flicking between Zuko and Mai. "She wasn't perfect as much as she tried to be. But you're not perfect and I'm not perfect! Friendship isn't supposed to be perfect!"
"Stop it!" Mai snapped, voice angry and curt, "She wasn't our friend! She certainly wasn't your friend. You've always been naïve, Ty Lee. You think she ever saw you as anything but a tool?" Mai's anger usurped sense, even Ty Lee's glistening tearful stare didn't make her relent. "She admitted as much to us both more than once."
"He tried to kill her! And he maimed her for it!"
"She was a traitor who tried to seize the throne." Mai regarded Ty Lee coldly, "She didn't deserve it, but she invited it. She's lucky to be alive."
Ty Lee blanched with rage. "Lucky?!"
"Yes," Mai raised her chin high, "Lucky."
"How could you say that..."
"Because it's the truth."
Zuko retreated, or tried to retreat if there was wall to spare, against Ty Lee's gaze. "She's blind in one eye, her shoulder is burnt, there's a price on her head all across the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom." Ty Lee stared at Zuko with hard eyes, "She'll be killed for the bounty, if she doesn't starve or die to burn infection first. Oh, but the Earth Kingdom hates her. They'll torture her before they kill her!"
"Ty Lee I said that's en - " Mai's protest died in her throat as the acrobat jabbed her fist into Mai's chest and she staggered back to the bed, aghast and wheezing. "You chi-blocked me!" She gasped, indignant and angry.
Ty Lee ignored Mai and fixed on Zuko, "You're a monster..." The acrobat's words were like a cold chill that settled tightly upon Zuko's spine. He felt himself shiver beneath her judgment. "You both are..."
"Ty Lee, wait!" Mai called after her pleadingly. Zuko could only stare as the acrobat fled the scene and Mai's hand clutched empty air.
For the first time Zuko noticed real sadness behind those dark eyes.
"I'll... I'll apologise... to her..." She gave him an empty look. They both knew he wouldn't. Ty Lee wanted nothing to do with Zuko.
"Give her some time." Mai soothed, "She'll calm down eventually and then I'll talk to her." She found enough strength to stand, wincing as the pain in her chest coiled with each movement. "Come on, Zuko. You need to get some rest, let me help you up..." She kneeled down and pried his arm from the comforting cage of his own limbs, guiding him to stand.
"Thank you, Mai."
She returned his attempted smile as she helped him to his bed. "I'll sit right there." She nodded to a plush red cushioned seat near the window, "I'm here if you need me."
Days. That's how long it'd been, hadn't it? Drifting through the sea. Floating. Days.
A physician tended to her burns, at least. It was a kinder mercy than Zuko ever got, but she wondered if perhaps he was why she got the treatment at all. It was certainly not ordained by Ozai. It didn't matter. She hated him. Zuko had stolen everything from her.
A mirthless cackle emerged from her throat. What a cruel play she'd been thrust into.
Her accommodation was disappointing. A small metal box. The ship was merely a transport vessel, not at all like the grandiose majesty of Dragon's Breath. But she'd lost that privilege now. The empty grey plating stared back as if to agree. She had nothing more than a bed in here. A bed and the constant company of audible tides striking the ship with such force it sent tremors through it's steel bod, lugging through the water like a brick. Alone and banished as she was, not even hate could spark her inner fire. The vessel reminded her of the Admiral's room she occupied returning from Ba Sing Se, not in appearance but in memory. A lesser girl might cry at the singular thought that invaded her mind.
"Ty Lee." Azula intoned with a sigh, "I wish you were here."
"Princess Azula?" A nervous voice punctured through her thoughts, streams of light flooding through the opened door to reveal a crimson official standing with an almost awkward stance. Not at all fitting for a disciplined Captain. But why chastise? Leaders chastised. She had no status amongst these men anymore. Her blood was polluted; stripped of mandate; stripped of meaning.
"That's not my title." Azula reprimanded, a hoarse and empty crackle from a once thundering voice.
"No, Princess, not officially. But the troops still respect you, you're a hero, exile or no, you deserve that honour until we part." The man paused, as if to earn a reply. Azula had no words to spare. What use was respect without power? "We'll reach the shore in a few minutes to set anchor." Captain Yuan straightened. A hesitance step in his stride as he paused and glanced back. Then he departed swiftly.
You will be nothing.
His hollow sentence stained her mind. Father never laughed, but she heard it all the same. A shrill mocking chortle that bore down upon her spirit. A weak failure and a disappointment. Would Ty Lee even care? Of course not, that was foolish. Mai certainly wouldn't. They never cared. Just like the rest of her family…
Mother cared.
Azula sighed again. Cracks in her eyes stared up at the small lines indented in the metallic walls. Her mind was a haze of bleary splotches and broken mirages. Floating symbols she tried to grasp. Nothing made sense anymore.
There was no point in wallowing, however, exiled Princess she may be, Azula was far from helpless yet. She'd heard the Captain. They reached the Earth Kingdom in a few minutes. The Earth Kingdom… It could've been hers, she should've stayed in Ba Sing Se and proclaimed herself Earth Queen—Agni burn this waking nightmare! Why didn't she seize the Throne and kill her good-for-nothing brother in the caverns?!
Trust is for fools.
Azula's fists wound so tight splotches of red bled beneath her nails
Fear is the only way.
She stumbled to her feet with heavy breaths and launched a pillar of flame into the metallic sheen of the vessel's stifling prison, a silent cry threatening to split her throat in twine. She tightened her eyes. Her lip quivered beneath the pale blue glow.
Princesses didn't cry.
She had to pull herself together, eyes facing forward. Or eye, in this case, given one of them was currently blinded by bandages.
But you're not a Princess anymore.
The ex-Princess swallowed the entrapping emotions. Unwelcome as they were, action would distract. It was all she had. resolving her willpower, Azula stepped out onto the ship's open hull. The blue sky coddled a perfect yellow sun, a pulsing miasma of heat was visible through the thick, dewy air.
At least the weather is nice, she almost smirked at her own mind's voice.
"…Ended the war…" A man whispered; skull-plated helm donned above broad shoulders.
"…Tried to kill her father." The shifting deckhand silenced into a fearful puddle as Azula passed by, as if shrinking from a fire too close.
She turned her gaze from the sky with a grim veil of defiance angled towards the sandy beaches. Tall pine trees swayed beneath small streams of whistling air. Mountains lingered in the backdrop of an impossible mass of green wooden towers that huddled together to form a muddy earthen woods.
Azula's neutrality dwindled into a barely perceptible frown, she hated trekking through the forest, and she was to be dropped right into one that looked to be as long as Grandfather's reign as Fire Lord.
Azula swore she could see her father stare back from those distant red shores. Intense heat filled her eyes and then he was gone. She had to blink the sensation away.
A trick of the light.
"Fire Lord Ozai commanded us to strip you of your Fire Nation armour and offer you no aid…" Captain Yuan's sentence trailed off slowly. A jolt pierced Azula's chest. Now her regalia was forfeit, too? She would wander the land as a vagabond without pride. Not that she had much pride left after her failed coup and subsequent defeat in the Agni Kai.
"But we… smuggled your Earth Kingdom attire from the Palace."
Azula raised an eyebrow. Were those traces of insurrection against Ozai? Or at least, lingering doubts. "You risked your precious necks to help me, why?" She cocked a hand on her hip and regarded him with a familiar ruthless gleam.
"When you leave this boat, Princess. You are a traitor and an enemy." The man's statement was not decisive or foreboding, but a tune of fact as if stating the weather. "But until then, many of us hoped you would've been Fire Lord today. It wasn't your father who ended the Hundred Years War and seized Ba Sing Se without a single life lost."
Azula let a small smirk paint her lips. Those words weren't empty. They were true and reigniting. Even in defeat, she was wanted by her people. Somehow, the knowledge comforted her on a level deeper than emotion could convey. Perhaps it gave her a kindle of hope that one day she could attain the Throne? If nothing else, it reminded her of the worth she held.
Conqueror of Ba Sing Se.
"Very well, I'll change and be off. Your loyalty to the Fire Nation is admirable, Captain." Azula assumed her dignified mask with ease. It never used to be a mask, but she was a Princess back then.
The Captain bowed deeply, "Of course, Princess."
Azula had never been a huge fan of Earth Kingdom green, but the modified Dai Li cloth was sleek and comfortable. It evoked a certain subtle power, the same spark that had drawn Azula to the shady secret police to begin with—back in her old life, when she yet possessed power and might. Back before her Dai Li were an agency to be feared and not piles of ash following a failed grab at power.
"If I may, Princess?" The physician's voice was low as he approached Azula, who now stood in front of the large mirror dressed in familiar shades of earth. Azula nodded. She couldn't stop herself from glaring into that mirror, no matter how she raged, no matter how her spirit cried, she couldn't break her gaze.
She despised what stared back. The bandage that acted as an eyepatch uncoiled to reveal the burns. Pink dolts that glittered her once perfect face with an untidy blemish. The physician had assured her she'd make a full recovery with time. A token of Zuko's apparent mercy, that the burns were merely surface wounds. Azula scoffed to nobody in particular. It wasn't mercy to go easy on her. It was cowardice. Her brother simply lacked Father's will. He wanted to hurt her without hurting his own conscience. Nothing more.
"What of my shoulder, my arm? When will I be able to bend with perfect form again?" Azula demanded as the fresh bandage was tied around her eye, the physician careful and precise with each wring of his fingers. She never even winced. The pain was nothing. Azula, however, was satisfied to see her bangs untouched. Even in the haze of Zuko's vengeful fire, each strand was clean, combed, and woven. Cast down her back as it was. Her hair hadn't been burned by her brother's attempted mutilation.
Mother always said she had beautiful hair. Now robbed of both topknot and ponytail, she couldn't help but feel as if she stared at mother and not herself.
"I'm afraid I cannot say, Princess… The extensive burning makes a timeframe impossible to predict, especially without medical care and with your journeying into the wilds."
Azula tensed. She entertained hissing a barbed spike at the man for his use of 'journeying' as a choice of phrase, but she couldn't bring herself to bother. She'd never see him again. Princess Azula was dead to the Fire Nation. Why waste the breath? Besides, her throat still ached from the Agni Kai, even if it had been days.
The physician nodded and stepped back, allowing himself a satisfactory smile. "There."
Azula took one brief look to ascertain the binding was adequate. She didn't wait for further words, she spun on her heel and stormed from the metal prison like a bird fleeing its gilded cage.
"Here, Princess." Captain Yuan handed Azula a large pack as she returned. She didn't question the gift. Or even feign surprise. He'd expressed loyalty to her once, the aid was expected—and welcome.
"About a week's worth of dried meat, several canisters of fresh water, clean undergarments and several rolls of bandage so you can…"
"Yes, yes." Azula waved her hand dismissively rolling her eyes even if he only saw one. "Is that it?"
"Yes Princess, the most I could gather without raising suspicion."
"Hmph, I suppose it's adequate. Tell me, Captain. Where exactly are we?"
"Just north of Mo Ce Sea, close to Hei Bei Forest, but other than that…"
She couldn't stop the soft sigh that escaped her lips. "Very well." Azula hefted the bag over her good shoulder; she'd need to acquire an ostrich horse to deal with the weight.
She walked the gangplank to the modest dock as a thousand worries crept into her mind. Each step thundered with finality. Azula shook her head, fighting away the clawing dismay that threatened to rob her of strength.
Princesses don't cry.
"Set sail!" Yuan's voice called, it wasn't meant as mocking to her, but mocking it was. Another reminder of honour now lost. There was no second chances, not like Zuko. The ship lurched as the heavyweight anchor grinded upside the steel deck.
Then the ship began to drift away, further out of reach, beyond grasp.
The last aspect of Princess Azula… like snow melting atop a bonfire's flame.