"Shall we move on to the crawling lessons?" Sebastian asked.
"Definitely." Kurt got up and put Aliza in the spinning bouncy seat.
Sebastian put Rose down on the floor behind the sofa. Kurt got down next to her on his hands and knees. Sebastian moved so that he was facing Rose and encouraged her to move towards him. She smiled and rocked back and forth and put her right hand forward, which got her a big smile from Sebastian.
"That's right, Rose. You can do it. Move your other hand forward next."
Kurt demonstrated. Rose followed along and put her other hand forward and then rocked back and forth again, but didn't move her legs.
"Maybe she thinks she can't," Kurt said. "The hardwood floors are slippery. Let's either take her sleeper off or put something down on the floor."
"Let's just move the coffee table. We'll put her on the rug."
They got up and carried the coffee table into the open space between the living room and dining area. Sebastian picked Rose up and put her in front of the sofa and they tried again. She repeated the arm movements and this time tried to slide her right leg forward when Kurt was showing her what to do.
"Maybe she just doesn't see the point in it yet," Kurt said. "She rolls everywhere. And even though is slow, it's effective."
Sebastian chuckled. "I know. It's totally adorable, but all of the baby books say that it's important for her to learn this skill, so we'll keep working on it." He turned to Rose. "You can do it, sweetie. Come on. Come to Papa."
"Pa-pa-pa-pa!"
"Well, she's getting there with that," Kurt said, smiling.
She turned to look at him. "Papa's right, Rose. You can do it. Let's try again." He moved one hand and then the other.
She imitated him. He moved his leg forward and reached over and pushed her foot to encourage her to move forward. She pushed against it and moved forward a little.
Sebastian praised her and she smiled.
"Let's just take her sleeper off. Maybe it's interfering," Kurt said.
"Sure, why not? She won't freeze in five minutes. She has an undershirt on underneath." He got up and got a bag of the freeze-dried fruit baby snacks that she loved. He sat it next to him on the floor and took a few out of the bag.
She started rocking again. She saw what he had and wanted it. She put one hand forward, then the other. She pulled one knee forward and finally attempted to move the second knee forward. She didn't make it forward more than a couple of inches, but she got a lot of praise. She did it again and again. Sebastian moved closer and put one of the fruit snacks in her mouth, and then backed up just a bit, but she could still see the others in his hand. She moved her hands forward again a little farther in front of her and then she moved her legs enough to steady herself.
"You've got it, Rose," Kurt encouraged her.
She did it one more time and Sebastian put another bite in her mouth. After the third successful move forward, Sebastian gave her the last one and moved close enough to pick her up and hold her. He hugged her.
"You did it, Rose!" He kissed her on the cheeks. "That's enough of a work out for tonight. Papa is going to get you some leggings and the socks with grippy bottoms that he saw at the store." He put her sleeper back on. "I think you might be right. The sleeper is too floppy around the knees and the feet are longer than hers. I think maybe she can't get a grip or something. What do you say to an impromptu shopping trip?"
"Sure. I was zoning out when I was studying anyway. So much of it is common sense that I read along going 'uh huh, yeah, right' and then I remember that I was supposed to be memorizing the information. It's like reading a recipe. You know what you're making. Let's say potatoes au gratin. You read through it and it says: peel the potatoes, slice the potatoes, put the potatoes in the pan, and it goes on. You read through the whole thing and it makes perfect sense. BUT the test is going to cover whether you can supply the recipe from memory."
"I get it. Maybe you could make flash cards with each step on a card, with the step number written around the edges or something to help you associate the information with the step, and you can quiz yourself."
"It's worth a shot. After we get Rose some leggings and socks, maybe we can grab some index cards."
"Not a problem."
!¡!¡!¡! Second Week of December !¡!¡!¡!
Early Monday evening after dinner, instead of dancing around, they moved the coffee table again and put Rose down on the carpet in the leggings. Ten minutes into their crawling lessons she was halfway across the rug. Sebastian kept moving backwards and Kurt crawled alongside her. Suddenly, it seemed to click. Right hand, left hand, right knee, left knee. Right hand, left hand, right knee, left knee. She covered the remaining distance in a matter of a minute or so.
"Oh, my God. You did it, Rose!" Sebastian picked her up and hugged her. He kissed her on both cheeks and put her back on the other side of the rug and went back to the end.
It didn't take long before she had crawled right back to him. He put her back one more time and Kurt faced her on his hands and knees like Sebastian instead of crawling alongside her. She made her way across the rug again and crawled up to Kurt, who smiled and picked her up and kissed her on the forehead. "You're such a big girl, Rose. You can crawl!" He held her close and hugged her.
Sebastian took the opportunity to get his camera. He got back down on his knees. "Put her back over there one more time. I want to get a picture of her."
Kurt put her back down and she smiled and made her way back across the rug to Sebastian. "Pa-pa-pa-pa!" she squealed, as she got closer.
Rose was kicking her feet with all of the excitement. Kurt picked her up and put her down on the carpet too. She was just beginning to army crawl to move around a bit. After giving Rose another hug, Sebastian put her back down and she crawled over to Aliza, who started kicking her feet in excitement again.
Kurt laughed. "You've unleashed unlimited danger," he teased Sebastian. "Now that she can get around easily, she get can find all sorts of things like cords and outlets."
A wave of panic flashed in Sebastian's eyes. "I have to go shopping tomorrow morning after my final."
"Good idea."
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
Later that evening, Kurt kissed Aliza and Rose on the forehead before he left for the Winter Concert. Sebastian was staying home with the girls for the evening. Kurt arrived on time to warm up at 7:30. At 8:00, he was in formation on the risers when the curtain opened.
Kurt was featured in a men's quartet as the second piece. He stepped forward and saw Sebastian sitting in the third row towards the center. He had to force himself to maintain his composure. He was featured again in an octet about two-thirds of the way through of the first half of the program.
After intermission, the program turned into an audience participation concert with everyone singing the most well-known parts of Handel's Messiah. When the program ended, he returned his robe to the rack in the wings and headed out into the auditorium.
"You're here," Kurt said, still surprised.
"I am. You didn't think I was going to skip out on your only performance this semester, did you?"
"Well, honestly, yes, since you were supposed to be otherwise engaged this evening."
"Oh, well Amaline is attending to that prior engagement. Come on. I want to go get dessert somewhere before we go home."
They left the auditorium together and split up outside. They met back up the frozen yogurt shop they both loved. Sebastian arrived first and was waiting outside for Kurt.
"Going out for a frozen dessert in December is crazy," Kurt said.
"Yeah, but we both like it here. Plus, the truth is that I don't know where else to go out for dessert at 10 at night. I saw on a flyer they were staying open until midnight every night this week because of finals."
They grabbed bowls and filled them with frozen yogurt, added their toppings of choice, and got in line.
When they sat down, Sebastian said, "You were great by the way. I didn't know you could sing classical music."
"I didn't either until this semester and I started taking voice lessons. It's been an interesting challenge."
"A challenge you rose up and met. You sounded great."
"Thanks."
"Why didn't you invite your parents? I figured your dad would want to be there."
"He doesn't really enjoy classical music. Plus, he's still in DC, so he couldn't make it, even if he wanted to. I was really surprised to see you. Thanks for coming."
"I enjoyed it. The program was really nice. I've never been to a Messiah sing-a-long. That part was fun."
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
Kurt lay in bed that night thinking about going to Huntsville the next evening. He had agreed to the work schedule before he had even run into Sebastian at the park on Labor Day. At that point, he was looking forward to spending winter break with his dad and Carole, but now he realized how much he longed to stay in Dublin with Sebastian and Rose.
He flashed back to earlier that afternoon when he had restrained himself from hugging Sebastian and Rose when she finally got the hang of crawling. And he had to keep him from hugging Sebastian when he came out into the auditorium after the concert that evening.
He knew that at some point over the last three months, he had fallen in love with Sebastian and he loved Rose like she was his own. He had admitted it to himself Thanksgiving evening. The idea of leaving them for three weeks was breaking his heart. He wiped the tears that stream down his cheeks.
I'm in love with Sebastian and I'm leaving for three weeks.
He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, but memories of Sebastian's gorgeous smile and his laugh pushed their way back to the forefront of his thoughts. Sebastian blowing raspberries on both girls' tummies. Seeing both girls' eyes light up when Sebastian sang to them. Watching him dance around the room with each of them while they smiled and giggled. He worked hard in school and was kind and gentle and sweet. And entertainingly sarcastic. Kurt smiled and wiped his eyes again.
He did his best to relax so he could fall asleep. He needed to be rested to do well on his last final exam the next morning. He finally gave up and turned some music on softly to try to focus on something else, which didn't really help that much. He started his song naming game starting at D this time.
"Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
"Duke of Earl"
"Dancing in the Street"
"Damaged"
"Dance in the Dark"
"Dust in the Wind"
…
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
Sebastian lay in his bed and cried. He didn't want to spend winter break alone. The house had always been decorated long before this point in the season, but he hadn't been able to make himself pull out any of the Christmas decorations. He hadn't brought it up and neither had Kurt.
His mind wandered to their serendipitous meeting in the park on Labor Day. He flashed forward to the unfortunate fire in the unit next to Kurt's that led him to need a place to stay and how he had eventually agreed to stop looking and just stay with Sebastian. A little pang of hurt hit him when he remembered Kurt asking if it was out of a feeling of guilt that he had let him stay, but then just a few minutes later, Kurt had said that Sebastian was his best friend. A best friend he sorely needed, but he wanted more than that.
He thought of how much he wished Kurt would just kiss him every time he leaned in to kiss Rose on the forehead while she was in his arms, but he never did. Kurt didn't give him any indication that he saw him as anything besides a friend. Every time they sat and watched a move, he struggled not to snuggle close to Kurt. When they sat so close together to read books to the girls, his heart ached just to take Kurt's hand and interlace their fingers.
I'm in love with Kurt. I'm in love with Kurt and he's leaving for three weeks.
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
When Sebastian got home from his final late Tuesday afternoon, Kurt had all of his and Rose's stuff packed up in his CRV ready to leave. Rose and Aliza were asleep. Kurt carefully moved Aliza to his room, changed her on the portable changing mat from the diaper bag, put her bear coat on, and got her in the carrier. He had a bottle ready and gave it to her. He put her diaper bag over his shoulder, picked her carrier up, took her out through the door from the house to the garage, and fastened her in. He went back inside to get his coat. He left the gifts he had gotten for Sebastian and Rose on his desk, but said nothing about them.
When he looked for Sebastian and didn't see him anywhere, he knocked lightly on his bedroom door.
"Come in." Sebastian was sitting at his desk with a textbook.
"We're heading out now. I didn't want to just vanish."
Sebastian nodded. "Let me know you get there safely, okay?"
"I will. Good luck with your last two exams." He pulled the door closed and went in the girls' room. He kissed Rose softly on the forehead and whispered, "I'll be back as soon as I can, my sweet Rose. I love you. I'll miss you." He left the room quietly.
Sebastian heard what Kurt said through the baby monitor. He smiled sadly and a few tears managed to escape. He wiped them and went back to studying.
Once he had pulled out into the driveway, Kurt took a moment to center himself and began to sing to Aliza to keep himself from crying as he drove towards the highway.
!¡!¡!¡! Huntsville !¡!¡!¡!
Kurt came in from work exhausted Wednesday at dinnertime. He took a shower and went into Aliza's room through the bathroom as quickly as he could. She had obviously woken up while he was in the shower and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Carole was holding her and trying to console her.
Kurt rushed over to her and reached for her. Carole put her in his arms and she leaned into him and started to calm nearly instantly. She was still breathing pretty raggedly and gulping for air as he swayed back and forth. "Honey, what's wrong?" He began to sing to her softly in French and she calmed the rest of the way and began grabbing for his nose and smiling.
"It's been a long day. She cried herself to sleep earlier. I did everything I know to do, but I can't sing like you in French."
"Everything is different here. I've been reading those baby books. This is a hard time in her development to bring her here and completely change everything about her life. I know you know that it's not personal, but she's used to Amaline now, who only speaks French during the daytime. And when she's there, I only speak French as well. I'm sure she misses Rose. She doesn't have the ability to remember when Rose wasn't with her 24/7. That book also talks about how some babies switch from three naps a day to two around six months and how their bodies are struggling because it's a big growth spurt time as well. It's just going to take a lot of patience. When I agreed to cover the vacations at the shop back in August, I hadn't read ahead in the books. I didn't know this would be a bad time to disrupt her schedule. And if her body wants to change the schedule she's used to, that just makes it harder because we can't guess all that well."
"Let's go eat. I put some soup on to simmer. It's ready." She still sounded defeated.
Kurt nodded and followed her down to the kitchen. He had brought the removable seat part of Aliza's highchair with them and strapped it to one of the kitchen chairs the night before. He sat her in it and sat down. Carole put their soup on the table.
"If she's fussy again tomorrow, put her on her side and rub circles on her back. I'll record a couple of songs on your phone in the voice messages that you can play for her. You can see if that works."
"We'll try it."
Kurt interacted with Aliza and the toys she had on her tray and ate as quickly as possible. "I'll help you get the baby carrier adjusted to fit you as well. She likes to be carried in it. It will free up your hands to do other things."
She nodded, but tears streamed down her cheeks.
"This is harder than you thought it would be."
She nodded again, but still said nothing.
"Try not to feel like she's rejecting you. She's not. She's just confused, and I'm sure a little afraid. She's old enough to realize that she's not at home. We all feel off-center when we stay in someone else's home."
"I know. She's just a baby and I miss seeing her as much as I did at first. I know it was a huge struggle and I wasn't getting to see Burt and that was hard too. I can't have it both ways. Burt should be my first priority and he is, but I miss Finn so much that it's hard to breathe some days and with Burt in DC and you in Dublin and me here alone, it's just really hard. I didn't want to be in Lima to be constantly reminded of everything that Finn had been a part of. I felt like if I was away from seeing it, it would be easier. Maybe it is. I don't know. But I also moved away from the people I had worked with for years. It's not like I socialized with any of them outside of work, but I did eat meals with them. None of this is your fault, honey. It's just a lot of things weighing on me all at once. This was Finn's favorite time of year. No school, lots of food and presents."
"I remember him talking about it and how disappointed he was that we didn't do most of the stuff he loved to do that first Christmas when we moved over winter break. But we did that next Christmas. I had to chase him out of the kitchen to keep him from eating all of the treats I was baking."
She laughed. "I'm sure you did. Last year, he and I went to Zanesville when Burt went to New York to see you."
"Yeah, that was a rough Christmas. Dad brought Blaine, who I did not want to see. And he told me he had cancer. We've had a rough year."
"We have. I think that's part of it. I don't have any cheer to share with my granddaughter. Seeing her happy cheers me up, but when she's the one that's upset, I don't have much to draw from to comfort her. Today, I just ended up crying too."
"Let's clean this up, read some books, and watch a Christmas movie."
A few minutes later, Kurt arranged the coffee table with the cushion from the chair on top of it. He positioned himself the way he did at home. He put Aliza on his lap facing the TV. "Go grab a few books, and then sit right next to me." He patted the couch.
She sat down next to him when she came back.
"Scoot closer. I know it seems weird for the two of us, but that's what Sebastian does with Rose. We sit together and read books like this so they can both see the pages. We don't really watch TV very often with the girls, but we sit like this when we do. Put your feet up like me. Let's see if we can pull this off. Sebastian and I switch off. I'll read first while you hold her." Once Carole was situated, Kurt slid Aliza onto her lap. "Hold the other side of the book." Once she had a hold of it, he started to read a French book.
Carole read her the next book in English. They switched twice more. Aliza had stayed in Carole's lap the whole time without crying. Kurt picked up the remote control and chose a Christmas movie on Netflix. The two of them stayed sitting side by side the whole time. Aliza squirmed around and climbed on the two of them, but she didn't fuss at all.
"We put them down at 9 and they sleep until about midnight. Then, they get a bottle and go back to sleep until 7 in the morning. We do a lot of our studying during that time. We get up with them in the morning and feed them ourselves before Amaline comes. Once she arrives, we both get ready and either leave for class or stay in our rooms to get more schoolwork done. So, today probably started off badly when she woke up and the three of us weren't here. I'll be sure to get her ready in the morning before I go. Maybe that will help."
"I can see how this morning would have been frightening for her. We'll hope for a better day tomorrow. I'll help you put her down now, so she gets used to me being part of the process."
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
Rose and Sebastian's day didn't fare much better. Rose kept looking for Aliza at breakfast and she cried when she was in the playard alone. Sebastian spent most of the day just trying to keep her company and entertain her. By the time he put her down at 9, he was exhausted. He texted Kurt.
-Rose misses Aliza. She's been unhappy all day.
Kurt didn't see the text immediately because he was putting Aliza to bed. Once she was finally asleep, Kurt took his phone out to read it and respond.
-Aliza had a terrible day. I feel horrible. She's not happy here. I tried to show Carole some things. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm getting ready to record myself singing on Carole's phone. She doesn't know any of the songs Aliza loves.
-I hope that helps.
-Me too. I'm sorry Rose had a bad day too. I miss both of you. I'm going to head to bed. I exhausted. My arms feel like spaghetti. I've not changed tires in a long time.
-I hadn't thought about that. We miss you too.
!¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡! !¡!¡!¡!
Burt had come back from DC late Friday night and was home when Kurt came in from work late Saturday afternoon. He had been at the shop for a few hours that morning working in his office, but he had left before lunch and they hadn't had any time to talk.
"Hey, Dad."
Burt looked up from his show and nodded faintly in greeting.
Kurt didn't hear anything but the TV. "Where are Carole and Aliza?"
"She took her for a drive because she wouldn't quit crying, and I needed some peace."
"Oh. I'll just go shower quickly." He was in the bathroom still when he heard Carole bring Aliza into her room.
"Come on, Aliza. Please stop crying."
Kurt redressed as quickly as he could and went into Aliza's room. Carole was changing her diaper when he walked in. He let her finish and then picked Aliza up. He began to sing and sway. She sniveled and gulped for air and after a few minutes, her breathing normalized and she relaxed.
"Honey, she barely calmed on the car ride. I played the CD I downloaded. It seemed to help a bit, but I just don't know what to do for her. I took her temperature. I checked to see if she's teething, which she's not."
"Let's go eat. I'm assuming part of Dad's grumpiness is from being hungry."
Kurt held Aliza while she took her bottle. When she finished, he put her in the high chair. He quickly ate the soup Carole had made. They ate in silence. Once they finished, Carole did the clean up. Burt asked Kurt to follow him out to the garage. Kurt picked Aliza up and detoured to her room to grab a blanket. Burt was sitting in his truck waiting. Kurt climbed in and pulled the door shut.
"This isn't working, Kurt."
"What do you mean?" He wrapped the blanket around Aliza and bounced her on his lap gently.
"Aliza being here is making Carole worse. She was crying when I got home. She feels rejected."
"I've already talked to her about it. I don't know what else to say. Aliza doesn't feel at home here. And Carole being depressed is rubbing off on her. The baby books talk about how it's around this age that babies really begin to understand facial expressions. It's like a negative loop. Carole is sad. Aliza can sense it and she's already distressed because the people she's used to being with aren't here with us, so she cries. Her crying makes Carole even more sad. I don't know how to stop the cycle. I agreed to work so much to cover the vacation time people wanted, but it was also because I need the money. You're covering my tuition, which I appreciate. And you paid my rent when I was in the efficiency, but you told me I had to cover everything else myself. I'm trying, Dad. I pay $150 a week for childcare and I don't have enough in savings for this coming semester. Working all of the shifts at the shop over break is almost enough to cover that. When I did my budgeting, I thought Carole would watch her all semester this fall. I had to start paying for childcare three months earlier than I had budgeted for. I honestly thought that the two of you were going to help with the childcare expenses when Carole quit coming and I had to pay someone, but I'll manage somehow. I think I'm going to go pack up our stuff and go home for the night. You can spend the evening and day with Carole tomorrow. I'll call you tomorrow evening."
"Kurt…"
"Look, Dad. I know you weren't really in favor of me raising Aliza. I get that. You wanted me to live my own life and not be responsible for someone I had nothing to do with creating. I know you didn't just want to abandon her, but you didn't want to raise her yourself for valid reasons. You've had some serious health issues. I may not have had any part in her creation, but I love her, Dad. She's my daughter. I actually like my life now more than I did in New York. The difference between me and Carole is that every time I look into Aliza's eyes, I see beauty and joy and I feel happy that I'm her daddy. All she sees is Finn not being here to be Aliza's dad. And instead of being happy when she sees her, seeing Aliza seems to make her sad."
Burt didn't say anything.
"I figured this was coming, honestly. Carole's family is big on Christmas. They have all sorts of get-togethers within her extended family. The ugly sweater-knitting weekend that follows Thanksgiving. Angel tree shopping one weekend. Others that I don't even know. If Finn were alive, Carole would be taking Aliza to all of those family events. Everyone in her family would be thrilled to have Aliza there. I'm sure that she and Finn would take her to one of Christopher's family parties too. Aliza would have had a huge supportive and doting extended family. The same would have been true if the two of you had adopted her and you had told everyone that she was Finn's."
Burt nodded.
"But since she's mine, none of that will ever happen. I'm persona non-grata in her extended family and there would be no reason to take MY daughter to see Christopher's family. I'm betting a good portion of Carole's sadness right now is because she can't take Aliza and show her off and let her be part of her own family. She's sad because she knows that her family will not dote on MY daughter. She's seeing for the first time, REALLY seeing, what prejudice is. She's never been on the receiving end and it's probably killing her inside now that she's realized that Aliza will never have what should rightfully be hers."
"You think that's it?"
"I do, but I don't know how to fix this, Dad. I've shed bucket loads of tears myself wondering if I did the right thing. I love her, but wondering if she's going to be teased because of me makes me doubt myself all the time. Every time I go out with her and people give me dirty looks because I'm clearly gay and I have a baby, it hurts. You need to talk to Carole. Aliza will come around and not be a clingy, fussy 6-month old forever. She will learn object permanence and she won't cry so much when I'm gone because she'll know I'll come back. Carole needs some professional help. I'm not saying that she needs medication because I don't know. I just know that when I was so upset, talking to someone really helped. She's going to have to be happy getting to be a part of Aliza's life in the way she would if Aliza were my biological daughter. If she's not going to be okay with that, I don't know what to do about that. You're not all that supportive, and if she's going to just be upset every time she gets to spend time with her, I'm not sure how all of this is going to work. Anyway, I'm going to go pack up our stuff and go home for a couple of days. You can cover my shift on Monday by going in and doing the more complicated, less physically-taxing stuff yourself and move one of the other guys to doing whatever else needs done." Kurt repositioned Aliza and reached for the door handle.
"Kurt, wait."
He stopped.
"I'm not going to change my mind and agree to raise her. I can't in good conscience. No one is guaranteed a long life, but I can't step into another 20-year commitment with how the last three years have gone. I'm not sure what to even say to Carole. Are you offering to give her to Carole to raise? I know Carole's not happy here. I don't know where she'd be happy. I suspect there isn't a place. But I suspect that she'd take her and live closer to her own family."
"And she'd grow up to dislike people like me on principal. I love her more than I thought possible, and I plan to keep her. I just don't know what to do about you and Carole. I think setting up a nursery here was probably a mistake. I think she spends too much time in there thinking about how things would have been. Finn would have wanted to keep her, just like he wanted keep Beth when he thought she was his. Carole would have raised Beth, no doubt in my mind. If Finn were around now, you'd still be living in Lima. Aliza would be living with you full-time. Finn might have moved out by the time she was old enough to go to school, but I doubt it. Carole always coddled him, which was her choice, but you know in your heart that she would have never made him do anything beyond get a weekend job or maybe go to school part-time."
"She has said several times that she thought you'd come home on weekends and stay here with us where she could care for Aliza while you studied and had some time to yourself. I think she feels slighted that you stay in Dublin on the weekends."
"So, she expected me to be Aliza's dad like three-quarters of the time and she'd get to care for her the rest of the time?"
"I think so, especially after you moved out of the efficiency. While you were living there, she was spending three days a week with her, but then you moved in with Sebastian. You didn't need her anymore. She doesn't feel that comfortable just asking to come over with you not living on your own."
"I like living with Sebastian. It's fun and it's a lot less stressful than living on my own was. Trying to study by the light of a clip-on book light when she was already asleep or putting a blanket over my head if she hadn't fallen asleep yet or started to stir was really hard. Her having a room where I can shut the door and cook while she's sleeping or exercise or study or do laundry – it's so much easier."
"I'm sure it is."
"And I have to wonder if she didn't honestly think that I would give up by the end of this semester and that I'd move back in with you two. It happens a lot."
"To be honest, she did mention it a couple of times, but I told her that I doubted that would happen. She quit bringing up, but maybe she kept the idea in the back of her mind."
"Well, going into my finals I had all As. I'm doing well in school and I don't have any plans to stop going. I think she's going to need some help coping with the reality that Aliza isn't a replacement for Finn, which is sort of how it feels. I'm going to head out before it gets any later. If I leave now, I won't mess Aliza's schedule up too much. I can still try to put her down at 9."
"I had wanted to spend some time with you over the congressional break."
"I know, Dad. I wanted that too. But look at your house. There's not a single indication anywhere that it's Christmas. Carole isn't okay. I need to do what's right for Aliza, and you need to be here for Carole. We'll talk again tomorrow night."
This time when he reached for the door handle, Burt didn't stop him.