Best Laid Plans Heather Burkett

Chapter 17: Me, Too

My weekend events proved my worries with hiring Edward were unfounded – he was nothing but professional.

So professional, in fact, that I missed the fleeting glances and subtle touches; almost convinced that they had been the product of my over-active, lonely, middle-aged imagination.

Thanks to his hard work in setting up tables, chairs and decorations, I had steadily been able to oversee things, dealing more interactively with my clients and trouble-shooting effortlessly. He even took to break-down well, foreseeing what I would ask of him and taking the initiative to get it done without me having to utter a word.

I was pleased to see that the recommendation letters were spot on – he was one of the hardest working people I'd ever met, and a fast study, to boot.

Several guests at the baby shower commented on him, from acknowledging how efficient he was to gabbing about his good looks.

"I didn't know you had an assistant." The bride-to-be noted on Sunday. Although she didn't speak the attraction out loud, I could tell by the way she said it that she found him as handsome as I did.

"He's new to my team." I stated with a proud smile.

"And a brilliant addition at that!" She laughed. "Randall and I were so impressed with you two, would it be okay if we tipped you? We seriously feel like you undercharged us."

I blushed in acceptance of the praise. "If you'd really like to, I wouldn't argue." I accepted gracefully.

Edward pretty much reacted the same as I did, accepting a hundred-dollar tip and thanking them graciously.

Edward and I gathered into the Guardian just after ten-thirty, the event having run longer than was expected.

"You've made quite an impact on our clients this weekend." I acknowledged as I pulled out along the long, winding path that led from the lake house back to the main highway.

"And what about you?" He asked.

"Me? Well, everyone seemed pleased with my work, I guess." I answered humbly.

"No!" He laughed, carefree. "I mean, what kind of impression have I made on you?"

Well if that wasn't a loaded question, I didn't know what was.

"I've been very impressed. Your work ethic has lived up to everything everyone said it was."

He smiled dangerously. "I'm glad you're pleased. How's your back doing?"

I thought about it and realized – for the first time – I'd survived back-to-back events pain free.

"It's doing great, actually. Dr. Cullen's done wonders...and, of course, having your help didn't hurt."

"Good, that's what I was hoping to hear."

I grew quiet, focusing on the dark, tree-lined path, becoming aware of his stare just as I entered the highway. "What?" I laughed bashfully.

"You're a really beautiful woman, you know that?"

I silently thanked God for the fact that the dark highway would disguise the blush that was flaming in my cheeks.

Did he really think I was beautiful?

Did it really matter if he did?

"Well, thank you." I mumbled, unsure how else to respond and fighting the urge to say something in response to his beauty.

The silence grew heavy over the next couple of minutes before Edward spoke up. "I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable it's just, I noticed it from the first time we met. I just couldn't stay quiet on it any longer. But then again, I'm sure you hear that a lot."

"Not really." I spoke before I thought better of it.

"I don't know how that's possible. A woman like you should hear that frequently. Perhaps I'm just the only one with the courage to speak it out loud." He mused – mostly to himself – as he turned his eyes back on the road.

I remained silent, completely unknowing what to say or how to respond.

I tried to remember the last time someone had even told me I was pretty. I imagine Jake must have said it at one time or another, but I couldn't for the life of me remember when.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted out.

"Hmmm?"

"It's just, in all the time we've spoken about your family and friends, I've noticed I've never heard you mention a girlfriend." I blundered, trying to make up for my faux pas.

He smiled. "No, I'm single for now."

"Hm." I hummed.

"What?"

"I just find that surprising."

"And why would that be?" He asked.

I took a breath, deciding to bite the bullet and just come out with it. "Well, a young man with your looks, intelligence, heart and ambition, I'd imagine that you'd have women knocking down your door."

He grinned from ear-to-ear. "Well, someone came knocking, but I'm biding my time. It's all about timing, right?"

I nodded in agreement, somewhat disheartened by the fact that he had a romantic interest, although it wasn't the least bit surprising.

"Besides, I have to admit I'm somewhat of a glutton for punishment." He was still grinning.

"Why do you say that?"

"I like the chase, Bella."

I didn't really swoon, did I?

"But what about after the chase is over?" I continued, trying to cover up my reaction.

"You know how young relationships tend to be. I haven't found my 'after' yet, I'm afraid, but I look forward to it." He stared absently out into the dark tree-line that rushed silently by and yawned.

"It's been a long day – you must be tired." I assumed.

"I told you, I have a lot of stamina. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Oh, bad dreams?" I asked.

He flashed a crooked grin. "They weren't entirely unpleasant, no. Just woke up a bit...frustrated."

I was curious what dreams may have woken up him up feeling that way, but thought it best to drop the subject.

After a few more minutes of silence, Edward reached for the stereo. "Mind if I put on some music?"

"Oh, sure. Go ahead." I invited.

He hit the power button, immediately singing along to "Next Time I Fall", by Peter Cetera.

"You know this song?" I asked in astonishment.

"Hell yeah! I was raised on this stuff. I still prefer it to most modern music." He had a boyish grin on his face.

I listened to him sing for a minute. "You have a really good voice." I complimented.

"Thanks." He picked up where he left off for a second. "Why don't you sing along? You know you want to." He teased.

I laughed, but decided to join in, synchronizing with the notes he was hitting. "You're not so bad yourself!" He smiled.

I shrugged. "I took chorus in high school."

"It shows."

We rounded out the duet, finishing the song in harmony.

It was such a carefree moment, just riding along under cover of night, singing along to a song we both loved.

We sang non-stop on our journey to my house, covering "Take On Me", Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" and numerous other hits from my youth. Surprisingly, he knew the words to each and every one.

"Oh, turn it up! I haven't heard this one in ages!" He grew excited just as we turned down my block. "Girl, I'm gonna make you sweat. Sweat till you can't sweat no more. And if you cry, I'll...I'm gonna push it! Push it, push it some more!" I was mesmerized by the way he rolled his body, arching his back and running his hand down his chest and abdomen provocatively.

"A la, la, la, la, la. A la, la, la, la, la-la, la-la, la, la!" I joined in, the radio blasting as we both sang at the top of our lungs.

We broke into a fit of laughter as I turned the radio back down, not wanting to wake my neighbors.

"Ah, it was just starting to get good!" He pouted.

Lord knows I was enjoying the show.

"Sorry, Edward – all good things must come to an end." I smiled widely, feeling more alive than I'd felt in ages.

I asked if he would be okay for the ride back to Port Angeles, and he assured me he'd pick up an energy drink before setting out.

"I've never had one of those. I hear they give people heart attacks." I said worriedly.

"With as much coffee as I've seen you consume this weekend, I think you're already at risk." He teased.

I swatted him playfully on his shoulder and he laughed. "Weakling."

I threw my head back and laughed with him, loving the way the sounds we made mingled in the air between us.

"As long as you're sure you'll make the drive safely." I continued once the laughter had subsided. "You're more than welcome to crash on my couch for the night."

"As appealing as that invite is, I have an early class tomorrow. Maybe some other night." He winked.

"Well, anytime we have a late function and you need the rest, just let me know. I've got coffee or extra blankets – you choose." And I honestly meant it with sincerity, not just as some perverted way to get him to stay.

Okay, maybe in a little bit of a perverted way.

"Thanks, I'll remember that."

"Can I ask a favor?" I called out as he transitioned from my SUV to his Volvo.

"Sure."

"Text me when you get home?" I asked. "I'm sure you're perfectly able to drive home safely, but-" I giggled mimicking his sentiments from our lasagna date.

"You got it." He laughed, slipping in and closing the door with a solid "thud".

He watched as I walked to my doorway, unlocking the door and waving goodbye as he pulled out.

"Hey Buttercup." I answered Sarah's call Monday morning.

"Hey Mom. How was your weekend?"

"It was phenomenal. How about yours?"

"It was good. Dad took Leah and I to the movies."

"What are you eating?" I asked, hearing her crunch.

"Leftover popcorn." She said, munching on another mouthful.

"Ew, isn't it stale?"

"Eh, it's not so bad." She giggled.

Breakfast of champions, I assume.

"What movie did you see?"

"Ugh," she groaned, "some Disney movie called 'Upside Down Magic'. I don't think Dad's ready to admit I've outgrown kiddie films."

I laughed, knowing it was probably true.

And he thought I babied her too much.

"Well, was it any good at least?"

"Yeah, I guess. It was cute...You sound...different." She pondered.

"In what way?"

"I don't know. Like, you're more...cheerful?"

I laughed, still hungover from last night's carpool karaoke.

"What are you trying to say?" I teased.

"You sound, happier, I guess. More than I've heard you sound in a while."

"Yeah, I guess I do." I admitted. "It was a really good weekend."

I could hear her cram another handful of popcorn into her mouth. "S'good. So, the new assistant is working out well?"

"Yes, I guess he is." I said, my smile evident in my voice.

"Good. I'm glad – you really needed the help."

We chatted a moment longer before Jacob called her to get ready for school. She murmured a quick "Bye mom" before crunching on another bite of popcorn and disconnecting the call.

I texted Ali and handled some business before Leah crossed my mind.

I thought back to what Jacob had said about the events that occurred in Seattle and decided that – even if she had Sue and Jake to rely on - she could probably still really use a friend.

I tested myself, thinking about the way Jacob had massaged her neck at the recital, or the little subtle glances they had exchanged over lunch and found that the anger and betrayal stayed at bay.

I was...happy for them.

For her.

I grabbed my phone from in front of my computer monitor and pulled up her phone number, typing out a quick message.

"Hey Leah. Are you free any night this week?"

I put the phone down, not expecting a reply for a while since she was probably in the middle of teaching.

Plus, given our last conversation and the revelation that Sarah had confided in her about her first kiss, I assume she might have some trepidation about how to respond.

Instead, my phone chimed back just as I prepared to leave my work desk. "Are you sure you're ready?"

I reevaluated my emotions, imagining sitting across from her and trying to talk as we used to. When my body checked out alright, I typed back. "Yes. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too. Let me check if we have any plans and I'll get back to you tonight. Is that okay?"

"Of course." I wrote back, leaning away from the computer and stretching my arms back over my head.

Later that evening, as promised, Leah asked if we could get together Thursday night, and I immediately accepted.

We made plans for her to come over to my place, so that we'd have some alone time to hash things out. I could tell she was a little nervous, so decided to follow up with a phone call Wednesday night to confirm.

"Bella?" She asked when the phone rang.

"Hey Leah!" I tried to sound as cheery as possible to put her mind at ease, having decided that – with what she'd been through – the last thing she needed to worry about was me.

She breathed a sigh of relief; apparently it achieved its purpose.

"How are you?" She asked, the question meaning more than the casual way it sounded.

"I'm good." I answered. When she didn't immediately reply, I added "I mean it, Leah. We're good. I just wanted to confirm that you're still coming over tomorrow."

"Oh, yes. I'll be there. Six-thirty, right?"

"Yes, sometime between that and seven is fine. I'm making Mongolian Beef for dinner – is that okay?"

She seemed pleased with the way the conversation was going, her voice taking on a more casual tone. "Yes, that sounds delicious."

"Good."

"Should I bring anything?" She offered.

"Well, if you really want to – bring ice cream. No girl's night in is complete without it." I smiled, remembering the nights we'd spent in high school over a bowl of ice cream, chatting about pop-culture and our latest crushes.

"Ah, yes. I remember our ice cream parties." She said, her thoughts along the same lines as mine.

We both chuckled and, it felt...nice.

Warm and familiar.

I had just finished the rice when Leah arrived at my place Thursday night.

"Hey." She said bashfully as I opened the door, as if she was afraid I might revert back to the hostility.

"Hey." I said, stepping out the door and hugging her, hating to see her so afraid of me. I hugged her – not like the day of the recital, but really embraced her as two friends who hadn't seen each other for the longest of times.

She returned the hug tightly.

"Did you bring the ice cream?" I asked, stepping back and holding the door open for her.

"Psht! Did I bring the ice cream..." She said, as if it was a silly question. "Is Americone Dream still your favorite?"

"You know it!" I smiled back, taking the pint she'd brought and rushing it to the freezer.

She looked around the apartment as I rushed to stir the Mongolian beef. "I hope you're hungry, because dinner is almost ready."

"Starved." She answered as I turned off the burner. "I actually skipped lunch today."

"Good, cuz there's a lot here." I replied, pouring the rice into two bowls and spooning the beef mixture on top of it. I grabbed a couple of spoons, carrying the mixtures over to the table.

See, Edward – I'm perfectly capable of bringing dinner to the table without tripping. I thought silently.

Leah took a seat in front of one steaming bowl. "This looks delicious."

"Thanks. I've been a lot more ambitious with my cooking, since it's just me now."

I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

"Bella, I-" She started, but I waved a hand to stop her.

"I just meant that, it's a little easier to cook when you're not worried about three different palettes, that's all." I corrected.

She nodded sadly and I wasn't sure if her sadness was for me, or for her own loss.

She started to take a hesitant bite before pushing the bowl away.

"Can we just address the elephant in the room first?" She asked, her appetite for resolution overriding her hunger for the time being.

I sighed, having hoped we could just skip this part.

"Look, I know you and Jake talked about things, and that's great. I'm glad. But, I need to get some things off my chest, too." She bumbled.

I hadn't thought about that.

"Do you wish to start, or should I?" I asked, not even sure where to begin this conversation.

She took a deep, cleansing breath; her long, black hair cascading down over her face as she bowed her head, gathering her thoughts. "I'll go." She whispered.

She sat with her head bowed for a moment before brushing her hair back away from her beautiful olive-complexioned face. "I need you to know I really didn't intend for any of this to happen."

I started to open my mouth, but she waved at me, gesturing for me to let her finish. I had a feeling I wouldn't be saying much for a while.

"I know Jake told you about my husband and daughter. I wasn't looking to start a relationship after that. I...it felt too much like replacing them. Like erasing them or forsaking their memory. I had no intentions of looking for anything. I figured I'd gotten too lucky to find it the first time and never, ever imagined I'd find that again."

I understood her more than she knew.

"I just moved home to be with Mom and Billy. I had hoped I'd maybe reconnect with some old friends, but never imagined anything happening with Jake. I didn't even know you two'd separated until after I returned. I was shocked because, you'd seemed like the perfect couple. You'd had everything I'd wanted with Nahuel."

I felt my heartache reignite with her words, but it was bearable.

"I just didn't want to be so alone anymore." Her hands fidgeted on the table top, and I reached over, laying my hand on top of hers, calming her.

"Jacob – he can't quite understand what it's like to lose my family the way I did, but he understood enough. And, with our history together – well, you know – it was just easier to be around him than I expected.

"We saw hurt for hurt. Loss for loss. Sorrow for sorrow. I never expected it would take the turn it did and, I didn't want it to. It was too complicated – with Mom and Billy being married and you being Jake's ex. I didn't want the complications. I mean, who in their right mind would want that? I'd had enough complication and drama in my life. The last thing I wanted was to add to it.

"So, I fought it. For months, I told myself I didn't deserve it. That it wasn't right. I reminded myself of all the people who would be affected because of it. But, none of that seemed to matter because being with Jake was the only way I felt whole again. He made me feel like I was more than 1/3rd of a family that didn't exist anymore."

She truly looked at me and I could see her heartache and turmoil pooling in her eyes. A single tear escaped, racing its way down over her prominent cheekbone.

"You don't understand. I'd lost myself. And in reconnecting with Jake, I'd found the girl I'd lost."

I swallowed hard, attempting to dislodge the lump that had formed in my throat. She sat stoically as other tears began to follow the first. I loosened my napkin from my silverware, leaning over to carefully dry her tears.

"But I've missed you, Bells. I know it wasn't fair of me to try to push you, but I've missed you something terrible and I've felt horrible for affecting you this way. I know it's selfish but, I've just been dying for you to understand and to forgive me."

I leaned over, hugging her as her warm tears soaked into the shoulder of my tee-shirt, simply letting her cry until her tears ran dry.

I ran my hand over her silky hair, smoothing it down her back. "I forgive you, Leah. And I'm sorry for reacting the way I did." I countered.

She sat upright quickly. "No! You have nothing to be sorry about! If things were reversed, I'm not sure I'd be sitting here with you right now, trying to comfort you. I understand how hard this must have been and I have spent many nights imagining how you must feel about all of this. What you must think of us..."

"Well, yes, it is a complicated situation. I'll give you that much. But, if you and Jake really make each other happy, then we'll work the rest out, together. Like Jake pretty much told me, it's really no one's business but your own."

"And Sarah?" She asked, sniffling as she dried away the errant tears.

That wound was still a little fresh. "It hurt a bit knowing she'd confided with you over me, but that's as much my fault as anyone else's. I should've made it clear that she could talk to me about anything. It's something I'm working on changing, actually."

"For what it's worth, your talk with her had a big impact." Leah shared. "She told me how much 'cooler' you were than she'd expected. I wanted to tell you and Jake when she told me, but she confided in me and I just couldn't find it in me to break her trust."

"I get it. You were in a really difficult predicament and you just handled it the best way you knew how. She told me you advised her to talk to me about it. That meant a lot."

"Of course." She mumbled, followed by another sniffle.

We sat for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts.

"Does Sarah know about you and Jake yet?" I asked. "I mean, have you told her?"

Leah shook her head. "I mean, she's a brilliant girl. I'm sure she has her suspicions, but we haven't confirmed anything yet. It was important for us to get your blessings before we involved her that way."

"Blessings given." I offered with a gentle smile.

She reached over, embracing me tightly once again. "I've really missed you, Bella. I'm so sorry I neglected our friendship for so long."

"Me too." I conceded. "Me too."